SUNDAY, OCTOBER 25, 1903.
. .. . " : 1 1. v
luKi.v. (MthlJON.
l& ' ' ; ' "
I 1
11
i
1 HmmMmmmrnmim
mm: m ! dowser is overcome
Special Sale of
PATTERN
HATS.
At the
La Mode
CS2 Commercial St,
AMUSEMENTS.
.Astoria Theatre.,
" '' ONB NIGHT
SUNDAY
Oct. 25
WILLIE DUNLAY.
'",.. 'IN .
GEORGE M. COHAN'S
Brilliant Comedy Hit With Music
"The
lloneymooners"
Elaborate Production
Cohan. Songs, Cohan Boys, Cohan
Girls, Cohan Noise.
The Cohan Songs Hits "I'm a
Popular Man," "Make a Lot of
Keise," "Kid Days," In a "One
Night Stand." "Nothing "New Be
neath the Sun," "The Mysterious
Maid," "'Don't Go In the Water,
Dafighter," "San Francisco Is My
Home," "An Old Fashioned Walk."
The Incomparable Company, and
the Bisqne Baby Ballet
Prices Evenings, 25c to $1.50. Ma
tinees, 25c to $1.00.
Mail orders rilled Mow.
THEGRAND
THEATRE
Commercial and Ninth Street.
TONIGHT
EX-CONVICT NO. 900
A GREAT TEMPTATION
KIDNAPPING A BRIDE
' . "TAFFY"
GRAPE AND WINT INDUSTRY,
GERMANY ; '
MATINEE 2:30 AND 7:00 P. M.
This Theatre is equipped with
the latest and most improved, electri
cal Machines. Don't fail to see these
pictures. ,
Ths Prccariousnoss of Existence
. Fills Him With Sadness.
HE REFUSES T0"bE CHEERED.
Mrs. B. Finally Solves ths Puts) of
i Her Husband's State of Mind, but
DoesnVSympathhte With 'Him In
the Least Puts Him to Bed.
Copyrfcht. 1908, by T. C. MoCluro.
Mrs, Bowser and the cat were on
watch for, Mr. , Bowser as he came
horns tho other evening. As be drop
ped off , the car at .the corner It , was
seen that his ceneral attitude was one
ot dejection. , Halfway down to his
gate Mrs. Bowser could see the care
lines In his face. As he reached the
toot of the steps she realised that he
must have got word that all his broth
ers and platers were, dead. , He. was
passing by her to enter the house, with
the most lonesome look Imaginable on
his face, when she exclaimed:
' "Mr. Bowser, will you teU me what
In the name of goodness has happen
ed?", ,., ..,:.,..,., . r ,.;,W,
i "Nawthln,", be drawled out
"But something surely has. Are any
of your relatives deadf;-
. ""I dunno., ','" , .
"Have youi lost a large amount of
money?" ' '..."'.'. .:'.., '
"NO." " -.'-"
"Then what Is It? Ton look as If
yon hadn't a friend left on earth."
"And I haven't,' he replied as he
hung up bin bat and tears came to his
eye. .'
. "But I am here I, your wife."
"Yes. but,, what of it? I teU you,
Mrs. Bowser, this Is sad old world.
A 11
m
ENTIRE CHANGE OF PROGRAM
MONDAY, THURSDAY AND
, SATURDAY.
ADMISSION, 10c
Children, Sc
"Bint can't ptjt hkb ixrma i&m abound
MI VVCX. iKD CAIJi KB A GlSZlUVV, A3
Ha vast to", :
I hadn't much to do at the Gee this
afternoon, and I Juat sat down ar.i
thought of things sad things. I I
feel as If I could weep." 5 f
8usplcious of Him. '
She looked at him suspiciously and
led the way down to the dining room
and then started In to teU him that the
police had arrested four boys that
afternoon for playing boll in the street
"Yes, but what do four boys and the
police amount to?" he wailed out
"Mrs. Bowser, every day around us
men and women are dropping dead
and being borne to their long home."
"But that is what we all expect" she
replied. "They say the butcher on the
corner must fall If the price of meat
doesn't cpnie down." , ' . "
"But what have I got to do with the
butcher on the corner and the price of
meat? I tell yon there Is sadness in
this world oceans of sadness. As It
says in the Scriptures, we are here to
day and gone tomorrow. I left the
house In the best of health this morn
ing, but how did you know that I
would return alive? How could you
ASTORIA THEATRE
F. M. HANLIN, Lessee and Manager.
Tliursdayj f
iGtpbpr
29
JOSEPH and WILLIAM W.
t m r"3 f"3 ms
i I i !
I f !
J LJ3 U U L-13
Jit U M
ind?an exceptionally talented company
in Richard Brinsley Sheridan's
classical comedy,
PRICES: 50c, 75c, $1.00; JL50
toll that at this very tnotnontyou would
not be a w idow with scalding tears of
grief chasing each other down your
cheeks?", '. : '
."Yes, lift Is a risk, but we should not
be sad over It. There came pretty near
being; an awful dog fight la front of
the bouse hnlf an hour ago. I wish you
had been here to sick the little dog on."
"Oh, what's the user he said as he
nibbled at a ploce of bread and turned
his face away. "When I am thinking
of how my dear old mother died do you
think I want to hear about dog fights;
Yes, she she died.' v
'But you were only four year old
then, and you are forty-eight now.
,! Misses His Mothsr. '
"It doesn't make any difference. My
poor mother was called home. I cant
go to see her, and she can't put her lov
ing arms around my neck and call me
her cherub, as she used to. Had a con
gestive chill and passed right away.
And my father is dead, too, and my
hrother Jim Is dead. I te)l you there's
grief and sadness abroad in the land."
i Mrs,. Bowser looked at him for a full
minute across the table and sniffed at
the atmosphere suspiciously and then
atd'K :. -i :
Tm sorry about your father and
mother and your brother Jlra, but of
course you couldn't expect them to keep
right on living. I have lost my. own fa
ther and a sister, as you must know." ...
"Then why ain't you sad J What are
you talking about butchers and dog
fights for?, Here we sit in the best of
health and surrounded by happy influ
ences, and not two blocks away there
art, housef of mourning. I tell you,
Mrs. .Bowser I tell you"
But before he could teU her she rose
up from the table, and be followed her
upstairs. She wanted to do something
to effect a change In htm, and she be
gan to play with tho cat. but after tak
ing two or three turns across the floor
he said:.-. - '
"And my sister Mary Is dead, and my
I'ncle Jim, and my Cousin Betty-ryes,
lead and gone. I don't 'pose I could
Jnd their gravestones 1 I set out to
look for them-dead and gone, and you
are playing with that blamed old yaller
cat as If nothing bad happened."
Sho Refuses to Mourn.
"But what do you want me to do?"
the retorted. "Is it going to bring th
dead to life If I sit down and weep?"
"Hark to that!" he exclaimed after
a moment and without having an
swered her question, There la a ped
dler shouting: Watermelons!" s at .the
top of bia voice! Just .bear bJmfu .
"Why, you have 'beard him every
evening for days and days. He has
got , watermelons to, selt Probably
nine out. of ten of them are as green
as grass, bnt let him sell them if be
can. The more4 cholera morbus the
better for the drug stores and doctors."
"But the cry goes right to my .heart."
protested Mr. Bowser. , My . poo -'
ther died after eating a watermelon
and my Uncle Jim, because ha hadn't
any . teeth to ea one, with. The ped
dler knows it and Is hollering to add
to my grief." ?,. .,'-v, ..-' :
"Don't childish, Mr. Bowser. The
man doesnt even know who Uvea here.
Did l tell you that J. wanted to get at
my houaecleaning next monihT,
"And - now be'a yellin g , 'Gooseber
ries!" .... S-
"Well, let blin yelk".
"But I tell you be knows that Bow
ser lives here, and be wants to spite
me by adding to my grtcf. It was
gooseberry tarts that killed my sister
Mary and plain goose berries that
killed my cousin Betty. Betty ate four
quarts of 'em right down and next day
was no more,"
"I don't wonder at It But let's talk
about something more cheerful. , Do
you think the next congress is going to
take up the tariff question?"
Stirred Up by a 8ong.
Mr. Bowser might or might not have
answered the question, but before he
could get around to it a hired girl in
the next back yard who was taking
clothes off the line commenced singing
at the top of her voice: ,
; "In Scarlet town, 'where I was born, ;
There was a fair maid dwelling,
And she was known both far and near
As lovely Bar-baro Allen." f '
Great snakes, but must I submit to
Ollef ' groaned Mr. Bowser as be start
ed up. "Here I' come home loaded
down with grief and sadness, and a
peddler must yell 'Watermelons!1 and
'Gooseberries r at me, from the front
and a hired girl must warble a song at
me from the back!"
"But have patience," counseled Mrs.
Bowser. "These people know nothing
of your sadness. See, the peddler has
driven on and the gbl has stopped
singing. Let me ask yon a question,
please. Did you partake of any fall
tonic today V
"And my sister died after eating
gooseberry tarts!" he murmured as be
wiped his eyes anew.
"Answer my question. Did you have
any fall tonic this afternoon? Did any
one recommend a tonic to take yonr
grief away?"
"T-e-s, Just a little tonic. It was for
my lame back. I took about a table
spoonful." "Urn! I thought so."
"And it has made me sad s-a-d."
"I see. Well, let me put you to bed,
and you'll wake up in the morning
feeling all right"
"And I won't be sad -o more?"
"Not a sad. You won't even remem
ber whether it was gooseberry tarts or
pumpkin pie that did the business for
your sister. Come on."
"Yesh, I will come on. Mrs. Bow
sher, you are sho good sho g-o-o-d
ishat I cry for you!" M. QUAD.
A Social Affront
"Wasn't their divorce a shocking af
fair?" said Mrs, Feathergllt
"Inexcusable," answered Mrs. Smart
sett. "They both had the most unfash
ionable lawyers they could find."
Bniart Set -
THE JEFFERSOjjSe
(Continued from pag 11)
greatest things an actor can hope 'tn
attain; a tiumMinh knowk4; of nil
that can be attained in theatricals:
a knowledge ofjust how they could
be attained, and the : power of in
tanUneously grusping a situation in
order that none of tho comedy points
be lost r- ' ;
The Young Joe Jefferson.
These different talents are the price
less 'heirlooms of the sons, and to one
has been given that which was denied
the other.
Joseph has a most brilliant under
standing of tho technique of the drama,
In this line, he was always a most pro
found student, and in it, he was greatly
helped by his father, .
When the old gentleman was work
ing on a play, young Joe was bis con
stant companion. . It was nothing else
than this close study of his father's
methods that perfected him in hii
knowlcdjre of theatricals and the drama.
The elder Jefferson, too, was a most
astute business manalways upright
iu his dealings.--never making a bar
gain unless it was entirely satisfactory
to him, but, once that bargain was
made, fulfilling it to the letter and de
manding as much of him with whom
it had been mude.
Young ToM'ph inherited too, this
talent, and although business does
not Appeal strongly. to him, when
he does enter its realm, he is keen,
shrewd and his father over again. .:
i Genial Willie Jefferson.
The younger, son, . Willie, is the
personification of the characteristics
of the, father that were best known
to the intimate friends of the loved
actor. "..',
. In the language of the day, if there
was ever a Tittle Imp of merriment
mischievous and prankish full of
effervescent humor and an uncontroll
able and gigantic fondness for practical
Jokes and good fellowship, it is Willie.
In a professional way, he is bubbling
over with merriment and can gntsp the
comedy situations in an instant, Yet
when he endeavors to arrange things
beforehand, to map out a campaign
to be strictly followed, his plans al
ways fail.
Willie Jefferson is spontaniety It
self. His methods of procedure during
a performance are totally different
from that of his brother, yet his results
are as eminently satisfactory, ; , . ,-...
Favored of Providence.
For business, he has not the slight
est desire and to enjoy himself is his
delight ,..,
After his worV ,n the theatre is
done, and for a goodly portion of his
time before it has commenced again,
his entire idea of his private Lie il
to enjoy himself to the absolute limit.
Willie Jefferson is one of those lucky
individuals." whose . geniality, whole
touledness' and . absolute loveableness,
seems 1 1 have, won the gods themselves,
and Providence takes forethought for
his welfare, . :y- 1 -...
Every, business venture in which
he embarks seems to turn out success
fully and Joe insists that if Willie
fell down in a well,.. Willie would
probably find a half-peck or so of lost
diamonds at the bottom. ' . '
Willie Jefferson is the happy-go-lucky
side of his father, with all of
the , illustrious sire 'a " ." catch-as-catch-can
methods, while Joe is the busi
ness man, the artist, the planner, and
the possessor of the father s marvelous
knowledge of technique. These are the
mental legacies inherited by the young
men, men whose place on the stae is
already . amply' secured ; and whose
names will be Jong remembered.
The physicaT resemblance "ot these
two boys to their father is marked,
Features are absolutely the same
end one who has looked into the face
of the lamented Joseph Jefferson sees
the dear old features again in the faces
of the boys.
In the accompanying profile pictures
of the father and his sons, this resem
blance is easily seen. In the center is the
father. Before him is Joseph Jefferson,
his elder son and on the other side is his
younger boy, Willie. All that is in the
face of the father is found in the face of
the one boy or the other. Did one not
know that these pictures had been made
from three photographs, taken from life,
it would be easy to believe that some
artist, studying the two boys, had
drawn a composite picture lor that
central figure.
In Joe, there is -less of the humor
and the twinkle of the eyes which were
so characteristic of his father. ,
In Willie Jefferson, this is found
to a marked degree, and though the
years have not yet been sufficient to
work the familiar wrinkles about the
face, one knows of a certainty that will
come there.
In Willie, there is less of the
sterner sides of the father, and this,
in its turn, is found more fully develop
ed in Joe. It is a fascinating study this
study of portraits, with its contrasts
and resemblances, its likenesses and
its opposites. The more one studies that
picture the more there is that he sees
hidden there.
"I Am a Jefferson."
This, in brief is the wonderful life
story of the Jeffersons. This is a little
insight into the romance of The Rivals
and the Jeffersons and the more one
thinks over the story, the more wonder
ful it becomes.
A play and the names of the players
inseparably connected for 133 yearsi
Five generations of actors in one fam
ily! That in itself is a wonderful record,
and yet, how doubly wonderful is it
when one remembers that each repre
sentative of each generation has ap
peared in the same role.
Each father has,, in turn, handed
down to the son a priceless legacy
of talents, genius and a knowledge
of technique of the drama. Bach has
handed down likewise, his own prompt
book of that master piece, The Rivals.
The first Jefferson he with whom
we began the story away back there
in 1774, walked penniless into London
and the second and third generation
found it necessary to act as a means
of livelihood. The fourth generation
was more favored with the goods of this
world and the elder Jefferson, at the
time of his death, left a goodly fortune)
This the boys among whom are
Joe and Willie have ail turned to
good account. Yet one and all insist
that the most valued legacy left them
is the fact that they can look the world
in the face and say proudly and in all
truthfulness, "I am a JefTsr'gon," ' -
Fiolic3fdtteraJ Company"
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'Nips...... v.:;.., 10c
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589 Commercial Street
Jeha Fox, Pres. P. L Bishop, Sec Astoria Saving Itak, Treaa.
, , Nelson Troyer. Vice-Prea. and Supt
ASTORIA IRON WORKS
DESIGNERS AND MANUFACTURERS
Of THE LATEST IMPROVED ...
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, - COMPLETE CANNERY OUTFITS FURNISHED.
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For rates, steamship ana" sleeping-car reservations, call on or address
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12th St, near Commercial St ASTORIA, OREGON.
j You want the best money can buy in food, clothing, home comforts,
pleasures, etc.; why not in education,? '.
Portland's Leading business College
offers such to you and at no greater cost', than an Inferior school
Owners practical teachers More Calls than we can fill
Teachers actual business men ' In'sesslon the entire year :
Positions guaranteed graduates i Catalogue "A", for the asking I
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.'I;,. HENRY. EipRMANMgerV ';:;;'V;:' .
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