BATUBDAY, SEPT. 12
THE MORNING .ASTOMAN, ASTORIA, OREGON.
n
30 0
Hedney
and
the Lady. .
ty MA JV. HOWE.
Copyrlf hud, tim, by Ai.oolnLd
LIUrsry I'ru.
Archibald - IIorrl tiHtor known to
kin one time frlendi "Itwluof," Id
graceful allusion to bin brightly colored
thatch of hnlr, gused disconsolately
Into the shop window while the warm,
(ntlclug odor of freshly baked broad
nine through the grating beneath tbo
window,
II wii debating whether to buy a
loaf of bread and nuiko an evening
meal or to Bare bla nolo romnlulng dime
for t bod after ha should have bad a
cup of coffee and a thick slice of broad
on the "bread line." Tbo bread line
did not 0mid until o'clock, and Ild-
tiey decided la favor of supper Imme
diately. He was used to sleeping la
the open, but lit wii unused to going
Hungry.
k ITe half turned to go Inside the bak
ry when bla attention waa attracted
to girl who bad Jolued him before
the plate giant, She waa not uncomely,
In aplte oi a certain shabbluess, and
omethlng teemed to atamp her aa one
of the homeless. With quick eyinpatby
Itedney turned to her.
"You hungry, too, elstorr he de
manded. .
The gld prang' back at the aound of
bit volet and made aa though to move
n, but the "too" waa a coiumorf bond
Of aympathy, and the nodded allently.
"Ain't had notblu' iluce but night,"
bt amntml. "The landlady threw me
out becautte I owe three weekt' board,
nd there nln't a chance In town for
Job.-
"Come or In," be Invited, leading the
way to I lie door. The girl atood alien t
while Rodney purchased loaf of
lirend nud half down cakes, deposit
ing the itMt dime. Then he led, the
way to o n- of the email parka and di
vided the lwf and the cakea with her.
Both devoured the bread ravenously,
nud neltl.r upoke until the Inst crumb
l-rnctlco, and presently tba girt drn md
hi m toward a theater whom big sign
entreated the passerby uot to forgot
tbat It wa amateur night.
After a short parley with a gray coot
ed special oAker In the lobby they
found themselves heraed In a cellar
under the auditorium with an .odd as
sortment of "talent"
It was a long wait before the anio
tours were marshaled upon the stage,
but at Inst the chance came,' and with
the girl's final admonition to do bis
host ringing In bis ears Itedney fol
lowed her out upon tho stage.
The lights bothered him bit, and
ho was glad that be was not obliged to
lulk above tho babel of noises, but the
catcalls and hoots elicited by his ap
pearance died down when It was seen
that he was able to do itrange things
wuu rone, woen ai isst ue turn
was ended and be sought the compare
tlve dusk of the wings the girl's warm
"You done great" thrilled him with sat
iHfaction.
Then the amateurs all llued up on the
stage, and there was a lot of applause,
and the stage manager throat ten one-
dollar bills Into his trembling bands,
pud. with tho girl's prompting, Itedney
bolbej bis bead In thanks and backed
off tho stage. , -
In the wings man wltb a fur lined
coat waa waiting to lead him over into
A corner. Tresently Hedney beckoned
for the girl. , .
"This Is the manager of the show
that's here this week," Itedney ei
plained. "He says he'll give as Jobs
with the show. You get eighteen in
the chorus, and I get thirty-five for
doln' my rope act. I'll give you five to
help me out. Want to come?"
"Do IT echoed the girl. "Watcher
want f ask me for? , Why didn't yer
oy 'Yes' before he changed his mfhdr
"I'm not going to change my mind."
sutured the fur coated one, with a
laugh. "Come around at 11 tomor
row."
lie turned away, leaving the two
fuco to face. Itedney looked Into tbt
girl's glowing eyes. There lay knowl
edge of privation and of toll and of the
ways of the world, but they met hi
fearlessly, nud Rodney was satisfied.
Thirty-Ore and eighteen makes flf
ty-three," he said softly. "Wouldn't
yon ratner share trie nrty-tnree will)
me, BcssT"
'Sure." was her assent, half laugh
lug, half baMhful. "The manager's
eighteen and your five makes twenty-
three, and that ain't no sort o luck.
ltetildes," she added, as her face grew
lender, "you're white boy, klddoo,
in' yer ain't ever goln' f bt ashamed
o'yerwire.-
You bet I ain't," waa tht fervent
steu ranee, "i Knew it waa you I want
ed out there In front of tht bakery.
Let's go and get somethln real to eat.
cow meat and coffee and aweet truck."
'Just as you say," Besa aasentcd
meekly. "It's up to you now." And
she followed blm toward the stairs nj
which tbey bad climbed an hour be
fore wltb auch different feelings.
Too
BET t Ain't," WAS TUB rtllVKXT
ASttnuxo.
tf cake had been eaten. Then the girl
turned to her companion.
"You're all to tht food," sht declared
gratefully. "What you goln' f do
now!"
'Notblu' 1 Tbort'a nothln' to do," bt
declared, wltb Isjst humor. "No one
teems to want tna for odd Jobs, and
there's no thane for my regular Job
In these pArta." ' "
"What's that r abt demanded.
"Bldln' range," ht answered, with a
laugh, "tendln' cowa."
"You art a cowboy 1" the gasped,
"You a rt-al cowboy!"
Itedney nodded bit head.
"I guesn that's what," bt assented,
"You c'n throw a lasso?" abt de
manded, ber eyes growing bright
Rednty nodded again.
"I c'n Oi you op," aha declared.
"Got your lassos?"
"Tbey'm at tht place where I bunk
ad last utght" bt assented. "I camt
tast to try tht theaters, but tht thea
ter follow say they're all booked np,
which moans that they are aome few
thy of Jobs for ass. I'd go back west 1
but I'm busted."
"I'll show you," declared tbt girl.
"You know amateur nights?"
Itedney shook his head.
"That's strange brand' be said.
"It's for tht yaps," explained tht
glrL "Tbey bare 'em at all tht thea
ters. If you're the biggest hit you get
f 10. Ifs cinch If there's a girl with
you. I'll let yon throw, the ropea at
me, and well cop the coin."
"Where do they have 'em?" asked
Rodney, growing Interested.
"All over." Tht girl mado a sweep
ing gesture with her hand to indicate
tht scope. "They're all the go now.
(They have to hatvo 'em on different
lights because there ain't enough ama
teurs to go around. We can play the
ot. Come on and get your things, and
'11 show you." '
She sprnr.it to her feet, and Itedney
followed after. He was doubtful of
ultimate success, but he was willing
to do anything that would permit him
to enjoy the cheering society of the
girl for a couple of hours.
They went over to the lodging house
where Redney had stored the vallst
containing his spare shirt and bis
ropes, all that was left of the outfit
be had brought east. -The rest had
gone to tho pawnshops. ,
The good natured clerk permitted
them to go Into the empty dormitory to
euneed Through.
Sergeant Wllklns once defended n
breucb of promise case for a singular
ly ugly little man, which case he told
(he defendant after rending bis brief,
must bt "bounced" through. " And the
iiergeant did bounce It through.
"ijenllemen of the Jury," he said nt
the close of a most eloquent speech,
"you've heard the evidence for the
plaintiff, and, gentlemen of the. Jur.v.
you have admired that most bewitch'
lug lady, the plaintiff herself. Gen
tlemen, do you believe that this en
chanting, thla fascinating, this cnp!l
rating, this accomplished ludy would
for one moment favor the advances t r
listen with anything save scorn on:!
Indignation to the amorous protesta
tions of the wretched and repulsive
homunculus, the deformed and degrad
ed defendant?"
Ills client looked up from the well
of tht court and plteously murmured:
"Mr. Sergeant Wllklns! Oh, Mr. Ser
goant Wllklns!" '
"Silence, sir!" replied the sergennt In
a wrathful undertone. "Gentlemeu."
he continued, bringing his fist heavily
down on the desk before bin), "do you
think that this lovely lady, this fair
and smiling creature, would ever hare
permitted an offer of marriage to be
made to her by this miserable atom
of humanity, this stunted creature,
who would have to stand on a ftheet of
uott paper to look over twopence?"
Instant verdict for defendant Lon
don Globe.
Notice. Which Make You Smile.
' There Is quite a rich crop of humor,
usually unconscious, to be reaped bi
lbo observant In the notices displayed
In shop windows, of which the follow
ing announcement by a south end
bird fancier to not at all a bad exam
ple: "Doves for sale, cheap. Eat near
ly anything. Pond of children." Not
long ago a Farrtngton road butcher
had in bis window this notice: "Want
ed, a respectable boy for beef sau
sages." An east end publican an
nounced, "Billiard tables upstairs. 1
shilling per 100." A well known High
Wycombe tobacconist proclaims from
his shop window, "This shop Is open
on Sundays from 0 a. m, to 9 p. m.
In spite of Charles II." "Wanted, r.
warehouseman," ran another similar
notice. "Applicants must be accus
tomed to rigorous discipline. Only
the offers of such candidates will bo
entertained who have served In the
nrmy or been married fcr a consider
able lenRth of time." Westminster Gazette.
Twould Be Easy Than.
McJIgger It's all well enough to tell J
us to rorgive our enemies, but I te'l
yon it's 4 hard thing to do.
Thingumbob That's what it is, Wt
cuouldn't be expected to forgive our
enemies except when they freely ad
mit tbat they don't deserve our for
giveness. Philadelphia Press.
igs
ElixirSenna
acts ientlyyet prompt
ly on the bowels, cleanses
me system effectually,
assists one in overcoming
habitual constipation
permanently. To get its
beneficial effects buy
the genuine.
f tanuf act uf ed by the
California
BOLD BiriZMJINO ORUCClSrS-60trBOTTU
Strictly Fresh. Eggs.
There art su minor resorts, remote
from 'any agricultural communities.
where freb farm products are even
harder to obtain than In the city. It
was nt such a place tbat the itew
boarder, who bad eaten four or live
breakfasts there, began to wonder why
the eggs were invariably served fried.
"See here." ho Inquired one morning
of tho genial colored man who waited
upon blm. "why do you always fry
eggs here? Don't you ever boll them?"
"Oh, oh, yes, sab!" responded the
waiter pleasantly. "Of co'se yo' kin
have 'em boiled if yo' wants 'em, but
yo' know, sab, yo' takes de risk I"
Xow York Times.
The Plumbsr's Derby.
The compassionate citizen remarked
to bis plumber: -uus, If i were a
plumber niid bad to crawl Into amall
r.iHt.t and corners, as you do, I'd wear
soft hat or cap. Why, your derby
1 full of dents." Gus replied: "I'd be
i fool to wear a soft hat This derby
Imt saved my bead many a bard knock
from pipes and beams. See, I have It
packed wltb crumpled newspapers,
which give me both Inspiration and Im
munity," New York Press. ,
A Haughty Rsply.
A story about William Pitt I read or
beard somewhere many years ago rep
resented a noble mediocrity as assur
lug tbe great statesman wltb some
condescension that be might fairly
expect an earldom for his magnificent
services.
"I an earl!" waa the haughty reply.
I make dukes." St Jo-nes' Gazette.
TTUL 1 S
the greatest of nature's gifts and to be
aoie to give
A Smile All the While
Ailing tots cause pity fretful young people cause
wonderment irritable men and women cause surprise.
To enjoy perfect health the body must be built up
and the mind invigorated by perfect food.
i m9
raraeiiis
is the perfect food drink its use will bring quiet to
breaking nerves strength to the weak and
contentment to the strong besides it is
sx delicious and appetizing.
30 cups of a delicious drink
25c
la JkA.
Exceptional.
"Is be really a good violinist?"
"Yes. and an exceedingly remarkable
ne."
"In what respectr
"His instrument Is not a genuine
Rtradlvarlus.' "-Phllodqlphta Press.
On the Highway.
SO f
Weary Youse don't . ketch me goln'
near dot house again. Why, de ledy
doused mo wit hot water, sicked de
dorg on mo an' threatened ter shoot!
His Friend Never mind. Weary.
Youse mustn't mind little things like
dat You're entirely too sensitive fer
dla business! New York' World.
Want the Limit
"My wife went shopping today, and
she had exactly $32.19 when she start
ed out" ' .
"How are you to aure she had Just
that much?" . j, y-
"Because when the came back she
told me that was the amount aha had
upent" Bohemian Magazine.
As to the Belle.
Pretty Girl Yes, I must aay that I
have a host of admirers.
New Suitor More than you can
shake a stick at, eh?
Pret,ty Girl - Er-worso than that
Mora than my father can shake a stick
at St Louis Post-Dispatch.
8sme Old Game.
"I suppose," snld the stranger with
in the.ates,'"the lid Is on all games
of chance in this town."
"Don't you believe It, stranger." re
joined the native. "The marriage li
cense office Is Btlll wide open,"-Chlca-go
News. ,
Steady Nerves
are needed by all who work with
hands or brain. Nerve strength
depends on stomach strength.
Keep the digestion sound and
robust with
BEECHMI'S
' PILLS; '
Sold Everywhere. In boxet 10c. nd t5
One of the worst features of kidney
trouble is that it is aa insidious dis
ease and before the victim realizes his
danger he may have a fatal malady.
Take Foley's Kidney Cure at the first
sign of trouble as it corrects irregu
larities and prevents Bright's Disease
and diabetes. T. F. Laurin, Owl Drug
Store'
SCOil M BRASS & 111 it (IIS
ASTOUJA, OitEOOJT
Iron and Brass Founders, Land and Marine Engineers,
Up-to-Date Sawmill Machinery
18tt and Franklin Ave,
Prompt attention given to all repair
"work. Tel. Main 2461
Cured Hay Fever and Summer Cold.
A. J. Nusbauffl, Batesville, Indiana,
writes: "Last year 1 suffered for
three months with a summer cold so i
distressing that it interfered with my
business. I had many of the symp
toms of hay fever, and a doctor's
prescription did not reach my case,!
and I took several medicines which'
seemed to only aggravate my case. ;
Fortunately I insisted upon having
Foley's Honey and Tar in the yellow j
package, and it quickly cured me. My
wife has since used Foley's Honey j
and Tar with the same, success." T. j
F. Laurin, JO wl Drug Store. I
Health kidneys filter the impurities
from the blood, and unless they do
this good health is impossible. Foley's
Kidney Cure makes sound kidneys
and will positively cure all forms of
kidney and bladder disease. It
strengthens the whole system. T. F.
Laurin, Owl Drug Store. ,
How To Get Strong.
P. J. Daly, of 1247 W. Congress St.,
Chicago, tells of a way to become
strong. He says: "My mother, who
is old and was very feeble, is deriving
so much benefit from Electric Bitters,
that I feel it's my duty to tell those
who need a tonic and strengthening
medicine about it. In my mother's
case, a marked gain in flesh has re
sulted, insomnia has been overcome,
and she is steady growing stronger."
Electric Bitters quickly remedy stom
ach, liver and kidney complaints. Sold
under guarantee at Charles Rogers &
Son's drug store. 50c. ,
FREE TRIAL-AN ELECTRIC IRON
Saves backs, footsteps, blistered fingers, and faces fuel
and tempers.
You feel no electricity attach, to any iucan
descent socket low expense would sur
prise you let us explain to YOU.
ASTORIA ELECTRIC CO.
Sept. Of f icial Tide Tables
Compiled oy the U. S, Government for
Astoria and Vicinity.
They Take The Kinks Out
"I have used Dr. King's New Life
Pills for many years, with increasing
satisfaction. They take the.kinks out
ot stomach, liver and bowels, without
fuss or friction," says N. H. Brown,
of Pittsfield, Vt. Guaranteed satisfac
tory at Charles Rogers & Son's drug
ore. He, ..
SEPTEMBER, 1908.
High Wiater. A. if. P. M.
SEPTEMBER, 1903.
Date.
Ih.m.
Summer Excursions
During ihe months of Augus: and
September the Ilwar"i R. R. Co. will
sell round trip tickets daily from all
points on North (Long) Beach to at!
points on Clatsop Beach at rate oi
$175. Return limit thirty days.
"kaj
Gutrtfittffl g
Promts ConUtWa.
-r ...... n
ciiowwnloP-i"'"1
MEN ANDWO&'iER.
UBiefornnnatnrl
diohrge,inflwmiUoii
trritntiooi or uloaratlow
of tnucoul iiieinbraDea,
f ftluiew, ana uui mmiu
gnt or poisonous.
Sold by DranUU.
or ten In pluln wrnppM
(I 00 ,-r S lH)Uli'a.7t.
( inulai aeut l rtwtUMt
i Tuesday ...
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1:43
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S: 48
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ft
Low Water.
Date.
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Tuesday 1
Wednesday ..... 2
Thursday ....... 3
Friday 4
Saturday 5
SUNDAY 6
Monday
Tuesday ....r... 8
Wednesday 9
Thursday ..10
Friday 11
Saturday 12
SUNDAY 13
Monday 14
Tuesday ........15
Wednesday 16
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Friday IS
Saturday 19
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i Tuesday 22
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Thursday 24
Friday Za
Saturday 26
SUNDAY ...,j.27
Monday ....28
Tuesday 29
Wednesday ... . .30
A. M. P. M.
h.mT ft h.m". ft
9:47 2.3110:38 1.8
10:25 2.811:33 l.t
11:14 3.2
0:38 1.1 12:19 3.7
1:53 0.8 1:45 3.9
3:10 0.4 3:17 3.
4:11 0.0 4:32 3.4
5:11 -0.4 5:32 2.7
6:00 -0.6 6:23 2.0
6:45 -0.5 7:10 1.3
7:27-0.2 7:52 0.7
8:07 0.2 8:38 0.4
8:47 0.8 9:27 0.1
9:35 1.6 10:18 0.4
10:21 2.311:14 0.1
11:12 3.1
0:14 0.712:13 3.6
1:22 0.8 1:31 3.9
2:31 0.8 2:52 3.9
3:35 0.8 4:03 1.6
4:27 0.6 4:58 3.1
5:12 0.5 5:42 2.7
6:51 0.6 6:20 2.8
6:22 0.8 6:47 l.t
6:50 1.0 7:13 1.4
7:17 1.2 7:43 l.t
7:45 1.5 8:15 0.8
8:13 2.0 8:50 0.6
8:50 2.4 9:27 0.S
9:24 3.010:14 O.k