"WEDNESDAY, fcJEPT. 2
THE MORNING ASTORIAN, ASTORIA, OREGON. I
X-The Wisdom ' of
Miss Susan. :
fly CLARISSA MACKIS.
Copyrighted, IIKjA, by Aitoolated
Literary Vre,
"Your Aunt Susau wan a remarkable
woman, Miss Molly," ald tlio luwjrer,
looking keenly at tbo black gowned
youug woman before him, "and wo
must therefore not bo surprised that
bo should have mado a remarkable
will." H tapped folded document
tbat lay ou the table.
"I era qulto sure Aunt Susan bui
mudo a wIno deposition of bur proper
ty, I only wish Mho bad been Bpured
longer to enjoy It," an Id Molly Faneucr,
ber pretty eyes rod from weeping.
"A a you are tbe only relative Miss
Wood had, and a your nnmo la tbe
only ono mentioned In ber will. 1 may
woll proceed to make you acquaint
ed with iu contents. Ahem!" Tbe
lawyer unfolded tbe doeumout and
held It close to bl spectacled eye at
ho read Blowly and Impressively:
"I give and bequeath all tbe property
of wblcb I may die postumsnd, at per
terns below, to my beloved niece, Mary
Wood Fancber, on condition tbat abe
doa not become the wife of Ralph
Newcomb. If the"
"Stop, please," aald Molly quietly,
She bad arisen aud now stood, wltb
pale face aud flashing eyea, beside bttn.
"You need not OnUb reading the will,
Mr. Joue. The condition are pre
postcrous. I can hardly believe that
uiy dear Aunt Huttuit could buve avkeJ
such a thing of tne. She knew of my
engagement to Mr. Newcomb uud sum
tluued it She welcomed hl:u Into tbe
family 01 a sou and"- Sobs choked
ber utterance, aud he pressed a hand
kerchief to ber trembling Hps.
"Pray compote yourself. Miss Mol
ly," aald tbe perturbed lawyer. "A 1
it Id before, your Auut Kutau was u
rcmarkablo woman, ami"
"The will cauuot iut-rt tne now,"
uld Mlsa Fancber gravely. "I intend
to marry Mr. Newcomb at tbe appoint
ed time, aud you may follow out the
terma of tbe will whatever tbey are.
How aoon will it be necessary for mo
to vacate tbe house?"
"Not under li month, aa a geuer
oua Income la provided for tbat period.
Iu case you refuse to comply wltb the
conditions of tbe will, Mint Wood has
left a sealed documeut lu my baud
which drliultcly dupoe of the estate."
Molly bowed eobcrly. "I think my
auut mutt nave concealed tome prcju
dice against Mr. Newcomb. 1 hope
1 am sorry" Her voice faltered ulu.
"You are aure you are uut making a
mistake, MImi Molly ? I'ardun me, but
It 1m a large inflate about a uillllou."
"I don't care If it it ten mlllloiiH," re
torted Molly, Indignation drying her
tenra. "1 would uot barter my love for
any amount." 8be blushed warmly at
ebe met tbe lawyer's honest, admiring
glance and drew down ber black veil.
"Good afternoon, Mr. Jones. 1 am
quite euro you will execute my aunt's
last wishes lu the same couscleutloUi
manner Unit you bave always bandied
ber luterests." A moment later she
bad passed from the building and en
tered ber wulllng earrlugc.
When she entered tbe sober, old
..1. 1 .1 .........I.... .!... I....... I. .
iiiBuiuiieu im.nmuu luui uiiu uuvu urn
homo of Susan Wood for half a cen
tury and which had been her own
birthplace Molly Fancher's overstrain
ed nerves gave way for tbe first time
1 !.. tl. ....... I. 111.......
V BlUVV HIV llUfcUl lllfc UIUVCIB M MOW
wood bad , resulted In ber death a
week before,
fu spite of tbe old lawyer'a repeated
requests tbat ebe should bear tbe terms
of ber aunt's will tbo grief stricken
girl bad refused admittance to Mr.
Jones until this morning, when sho
bad roused herself from ber sorrow
and made ready to take upon herself
the responsibilities tbat she bad been
taught to believe would be bora after
Miss Wood's deotb.
Tbe reading of the will was a shock
to her. Tbe loss of tbe inheritance
was as nothing compared to tbe knowl
edge tbat ber aunt had secretly cher
ished a dislike if not a distrust of
Ralph Newcomb, Molly's accepted lov
er. It was this thought that rankled
in tbo girl's mind all tbat long after
noon while she awaited hie coming In
the evening. .
"Dear heart." be cried cheerily as he
entered the drawing room, "If you abut
yourself up In this gloomy house much
longer without companionship save
that of Mrs. Rogers, vtVy, I shall"
He paused as be turned her face to tbe
soft light of the lamp. "Something un
usual has happened, Molly, Tell ,me
what it is."
' She smiled bravely at him and stilled
her trembling Hps. "I have been to
hear Aunt Sudan's will read," she said
slowly.
"Well?" Molly found herself listen
ing for some note of anxiety or even
unusual interest in his tone aa he ask
ed tbo question that he bad always
accorded when riches wag a topic of
conversation, and she sighed rellevedly.
"She leaves everything to me condi
tionally." ' ..
"And the conditions?"
"That I do not marry you!" The
softly uttered words startled him
strangely. Ills arms loosened their
uold upon her and dropped to bis sides.
f'You cannot meant it. There must be
some mistake, Molly," he said gravely; j
"Miss Wood surely did not distrust the
quality of my love for you. It is very
strange."
"I can scarcely believe It of Aunt
Sbsan, .bnt, Ralph, dear, I am not
afraid of poverty, and yon are poor-
lad 1 will 1 poor wltb you, and m
Will live iu that delightful studio build
lug!"
Newcomb gathered her Into bis arm
tenderly. "You buve made your do
clxlonf ho asked.
"Yeo!"
"lo you know what you are giving
up?"
"I am only sorry tbat I am bringing
you nothing but love, dear," sho suld
earnestly,
"We can get along on that," be aald
grimly, "wltb a few little added frill
In the way of meat and drink tbat i
may bo able to worry out of tbe edl
tors, but it isn't fair to you, durllng-
to leave all this." lie looked about
tbe richly furnished room and tben
lack into her eyes.
"You cannot believe tbat I really
love you, Ilulpb," ibe murmured pro
test I ugly.
"I do now, sweetheart" be said,
kissing ber Hps reverently,' and then
a few momeuta later, bo added, "I
aball prove my trust lu your love,
Molly will you marry me at once-
this week?"
"Yes, Ralph," she aald.
It waa perhaps alx months later that
Lawyer Jones mounted tbe last Ions
step flight of stairs tbat led to tbe
Eyrie, aa Ralph Newcomb called hit
tudlo apartment He looked about
tbe bare, uncompromising ball tbat
could not bo dignified by tbe name of
corridor and then rapped smartly on
the door in front of blm.
Molly opened tbe door tbe same
Molly who bad never lifted a dainty
finger In household matters. Her
brown balr waa In sweet confusion
about her pink cheeks and tbe sleeve,
of ber linen frock were pushed above
ber elbows. A great gingham apron
enveloped ber slim figure.
She welcomed blm with all ber old
charm of manner and ushered him into
a long, many gabled room, where
Ralph Newcomb sat palo and weary
eyed beforo a glowing fire.
"My husband has been very ill," said
Molly seriously aa tbe men shook
bands cordlully. "He has been work
ing too bard aud Rut ho Is ao much
better now. It baa been a most trying
alcge for him." Her red lips closed
firmly, and the old lawyer nested at
the onuttort'd story that fay behind
those lips. A glimpse of tbe bar stu
dio, the remains of a very simple meal,
portfolio of drawings on a chair, over
tbe back of which waa thrown Molly's
coat and hat It all spoke of poverty,
and tbe sort of poverty that perhaps
is hardest to bear.
Tbe thought of lovely Molly Fancber
trudging the etrocts In and out of edi
torial ottlccs with a portfolio of draw
ings and never losing her bright, bravo
smllo of hopo aud sweet content stirred
the lawyer strangely.
"I bave come to inform you of tbe
final disposition of your late aunt'a for
tune," bo snld rather gruffly, adjusting
hit eyeglasses and taking an envelope
from bla pocket -
"I don't believe we are Interested in
that," remarked Ralph smilingly. "Miss
Susan gave us our knockout blow sev
eral months ago. You certainly haven't
come to glont over na, Mr. Jones? Eh.
Molly r
She laughed softly. "We are awfully
poor, but we are likewise awfully hap
py, Mr. Jones. Toor Aunt Susan didn't
know"
"My dear young people," interrupted
the lawyer gravely, "Miss Wood did
know. In ber youth she chose between
love and riches, and aho preferred the
latter, aud except for ber little nleco
sho waa a very lonely and unhappy
woman. Sho gave Mlsa Molly the
same choice, not that sho distrusted
either of you, but she did want you
both to be sure of each otber'a love."
He paused and cleared bis throat as he
rustled tbe document "I win read: 'I
give and bequeath my entire estate to
be equally divided between Ralph
Newcomb aud his wife, Molly Fancber
Newcomb'"
"Poor Auut Susan 1 I misjudged her
ao," cried Molly contritely when they
bad recovered from their amazement.
"But I love to think tbat abe bad such
faith in na both, after all! We havo
been very happy, Ralph, dear, even if
we have been poor." She moved to her i
busband'a aide and slipped her hand In
his.
"We will never be any happier," he
aald solemnly.
Mr. Jones paused when he reached
tbe lower entrance of tbe studio build
ing and leisurely lighted a cigar. "Very
wise for a woman Miss Wood very
wise, Indeed," he said thoughtfully.
Winning the Btt.
A London merchant who bad a
rather ruddy complexion, after "doing"
Glasgow, had some time to wait for
his train at St. Enoch station and be
thought himself of a little Joke.
"What la tbe name of this station,
my good follow r he asked of a porter.
"St Enoch Btatlon, sir."
A few minutes later be met the aame
porter and said:
"What did you call thla station, por
ter?" "St Enoch's! Dae ye no see the
name abune the hotel there?"
Just then the train came in, and our
English friend got comfortably seated
in a third class smoker along with a
few more passengers.
"These railway officials are about
the worst They can't be civil," re
marked the Londoner.
"That's ft confounded lee," Bald a
Scotch farmer.
"Well," said the Londoner, "I'll bet
five bob I don't get a civil answer from
the first porter I ask a question of."
"Done!" replied the old farmer.
Looking out, he spied bis porter and,
beckoning blm over, asked In bla most
polite tone:
"Would you kindly tell me the name
of this station, porter V
"Gang awa', ye bacon faced bnfferl
Fit yer daft held in!" was the answer.
Settled Out
Of Court.
By J. I.UDI.UM LEE.
CopyrlKliteil, I'M, by Attoclate'l
Miemry FrcM,
Judge Hnnford was bearing a case in
the ' municipal court The witness
lu the chnlr bad Just becu sworn in.
giving ber full name as Llda Graves.
Russell Roe, couuhc! tor the plaintiff
and an old friend of tho Graves fam
lly, bad asked ber to tell Just what she
hud seen regarding tho accident whet,
Mr. Ilrown had been run down by a
largo red touring car some two mouths
before, He asked a few direct ques
tions and tlieu turned her over to the
lawyer for the other side.
Hugo Holland, counsel for tbe owner
of tho automobile, hesitated About put
ting this lovely girl on the ruck f
cross examination, and when ber great
bit eyes looked helplessly Into bis be
almost felt tbe case was lost.
"What did you say your name was?"
asked Holland, floundering about for a
leading question.
"Llda Craves," replied tbe witness.
"What do you do for a livelihood?"
followed up Holland.
Llda turned to the kindly faced
judge as If for explanation, and over
his face came a sinister smite.
"He means are you a working
woman r explained the' judge. Then,
turning to Holland, be scowled and
continued: "I wish tbe counsel would
stop tbls tomfoolery and ask questions
pertaining to the case. Miss Graves
Is a lady of lclnure a blind man could
tee tbat. Come, come," aud be rapped
the desk with his guvcL
"You take au outh, do you, tbat tbe
chauffeur did not' sound the horn?"
suld Holland.
"Yes," answered tbe wltnese.
"You swear to that, do you?" reiter
ated tbe lawyer.
"How many times do you want the
witness to repeat that statement?" in
terposed Roc for tho other side.
This started a warfare of objections
and exceptions. Tbe two lawyers and
the Judge became Involved In legal
technicalities, Holland asking one
question aud Roe objecting, tbe Judge
seemingly sustaining all objections.
Tbe lawyers Indulged in personalities
and the Judge pounded for order.
Quiet again reigned in tbe courtroom.
"From the. evidence before me, 1
render a verdict In favor of Mr. Brown,
the plaintiff, for $1,000. The court will
take a recess until 2 o'clock," announc
ed the Judge.
Half an hour later Llda Graves and
her maid eutered a fashionable restau
rant secured a table in a cool corner
of tbe room and ordered a light lunch
eon. She had couie Into town at the
earnest plea of old Mr, Brown, whom
she had seen Injured by the touring
car and bad testified in bla behalf.
Sipping ber Iced tea, abe glanced
about the room and, to her surprise, at
a nearby table saw tbe two lawyers
who half an hour ago bad been so per
sonal In their remarks, to each other.
The "plnheaded Idiot" and the "lantern
Jawed attorney" had evidently decided
to bury their differences In a friendly
meal. Mr. Roe caught i'sc.eye and in
a few momenta camo up to ber table.
"May I brlug my friend Mr. Holland
over to nioet you under more favorable
circumstances?" ho asked.
"You may not," answered Llda with
some spirit "That man is a brute.
Why, Mr. Roe, he accused me of well,
of actually telling an untruth on the
stuud."
"Oh, well, that'a all in the business,
you know, Miss Lido," soothed Roe.
"Ho was paid to do that"
"What do you mean a man receives
money to accuse a woman of"
Roe saw that bis arguments were fu
tile and returned to bis friend. Llda
finished her luncheon and took the train
for Linden Bench, where the Graves
family was spending the summer at n
fashionable hotel.
Saunterlug around tbe broad piazzas
the following Sunday morning she met
fuce to face the two lawyers, and It
was Inevitable that she must meet the
brutal Mr. Holland. Despite her aver
sion to the mau who had cross exam
ined her. she had to yield to the charm
of his genial manners.
"I say, Miss Graves," he began,
"we're going to appeal that case, you
know."
Llda smiled.
"What case?" she asked.
"Why, my case; that is, your case,"
stammered Holland.
' They looked around for Mr. Roe.
but ho had disappeared to let them
tight It out alone, and when, several
hours later, he passed them comforta
bly settled In a rustic seat under the
trees Roe decided that Holland must
be more persuasive out of court than
In it.
Weeks had slipped by, and one
bright Sunday morning found Russell
Roe In his white flannels and Llda lu
her dalutlest of summer frocks argu
ing In tbo sun parlor, v
"But Miss Llda, it's rank injustice,"
he was baying. "It's the meanest kind
of a trick to go over to the other side.
I never would have classed you with
the traitors."
"But I'm not a traitor," answered
Llda, blushing. "I think lawyers on
the whole, and one or two individually.
are a mean lot wny, tneir wnoie
stock In trade seems to be calling peo- j
pie horrid names. Mr.
Holland ac-1
cused me of prevaricating, and now
you turn about and call me a traitor."
"Well, will you go rowing with me
this afternoou or won't you?" aBked
Roe, with a somewhat legal tone.
"It la not a question of whether I
illl or not, my dear Mr. Roe," sold
Llda, "1 simply cannot; I have an
fiber engagement."
"Exactly!" sung out Roe, wltb a trl
nmphnut air. "With tho lawyer foi
tho otbor side; with that mean. An
spknble little Holland; a mau win
stoops to accuse women of untruth; n
man who stoops to steal witnesses; a
thief, a"-
"I rcfuw to listen to you, Mr. Roe.'
flared Llda. and sho turned and left
Roe in bis wicker chair to flulsh lil
clgar in solitude.
Roe's face did not take on a vcr;
disconsolate look. Indeed, a casual
observer would have said It was over
spread with a look of absolute content -meut
And Inter In tbe nftcrnoo;:
when be saw Llda Graves and bis bc;t
friend,. Hugo Holland, making tbdt
way toward the wharf tho expression
of Roe's f:ice was still 'that of grc.l
BatixTuctlou,
i:u;;o pulled a fine stroke, and tticv
swung into the little cove in a short
time, Tlio twilight shadowa fell about
tlicm and conversation bad lagged
Letting tho boat drift slowly where
the tide chose to take it, Hugo leaned
forward atid gazed into bis compan
ion's face.
"Let's ploy court," suggested Hol
land. "All right," agreed Llda. "Ill be
the Judge."
"Not at an," remonstrated Hugo.
"You've had no experience in tbat line.
You will be tbe witness In tbe chair."
"Well, aU right But what are you
going to ber asked Llda, somewhat
bewildered.
"Oh," eald Holland, with great au
tbority, "I'll be all tbe rest I'm tbe
Judge, tbe Jury and the lawyer for
both sides. Now, you're on tbe stand
and under oath, remember."
"Promise you won't esk ma bow old
I am nor what I do for a living,"
laughed Llda.
"I am now talking to tbe Judge," be
began, and, turning to an imaginary
figure, he continued: "You see the ac
cused, Hugo Lawrence Holland, Is des
perately in love with tbe plaintiff, Llda
Graves."
"Oh, Mr. Holland," Interrupted Llda,
"I really do not thlnk"-
"Order in the court," roared Hoi
land. Then, looking directly at Llda,
be said, "Will you listen to this suit
of Holland for your heart and band?"
Llda laughed. Tbe situation was ir
resistible.
"It seems that I must whether I
will or not"
"The one bad feature of tbe case la
tbe existence of a two legged beast,"
continued Holland "one Russell Roe."
Looking directly at tbe witness, he
said, "Do you love this monstrosity?"
"Certainly not," asserted Llda.
The entire court seemed greatly re
lieved.
"On your oath?" added Holland.
"On my oath," repeated Llda.
"And and" Tbe counsel seemed
to hesitate, ne bad lost bis grip in
some manner. Finally, after much
halting, he asked:
"And tbls man, tbls one Hugo Hoi
land, do, you care, for him Just the
least little bit?"
Llda looked at him for a moment
and then, with a merry twinkle In her
big eyes, che said, "Please let me be
tbe Judge Just for a minuter
"All right" said Holland as be
gripped an oar for support.
"Ahem," began Llda with Judiciary
manner. "I think thla case should be
settled out of court. It seems to mo
that the plaintiff and tbe defendant
can make satisfactory arrangements
without the r.ld of outside parties."
Hugo now gripped both oars and
rowed ns If ho had entered a varsity
race with bis life at stake. They were
on shore in tho twinkling of an eye,
aud tne testimony given there was
even more direct for Llda was in
Hugo's arms and her face was very
close to his.
Angler's Bitter Memories.
Although angling has been and still
Is one of the chief delights of my life,
something bitter always arises when I
think of my fishing experiences.
Taught from my earliest years to han
dle a rod and throw a fly, it has never
theless never been my good fortune to
grass a really big fish. On the other
hand, some of tbe greatest duffers, so
far aa angling goes, I have ever known
have "vwlped my eye" time and again
at salmon fishing. Only a year or two
since I had a friend staying with me
at Dupplin castle, who, to tbe best of
my belief, bad never before bandied
a salmon rod or any kind of rod In bis
life. But almost at the first cast If
one could dignify the action by such a
name bo roe, booked and eventually
grassed a forty pounder. ' Another
friend, also a most indifferent fisher
man, killed single handed a splendid
fish that went all but fifty pounds.
But I, who have given years to the
game, have never seen my spring bal
ance tally more than thirty-one pounds.
Earl of Klnnvull to M. A. P.
' The Comedian's Wit.
On a first night at the B- theater,
a well known comedian once displayed
remarkable presence of mind. He was
alone on the stage and was supposed
to be expecting anxiously the arrival
of a friend.
"He comes!" he exclaimed, looking
off on the , left. "Joy! . I bad been
awaiting him so impatiently."
At this cue his friend entered-on the
right! Some one had blundered but
who? There was no time for hesita
tion, and the veteran player's ready
wit came to his aid.
"Sly dog!" he said Jocosely to the
newly arrived. "You thought to take
me by surprise, but I saw you in the
looking glass yonder!"
This brought down the house, though
toe audience had been on the point of
hissing the very palpable blunder the
friend had made. London Tit-Bits,
mm
for
All Material
WHITU'S
7tn "ZD r
full m &
11 Tin II 111
The Saturday SeasideISpecial
The Sunday Portland Special
Via the A. & C. R. R. Co. will be continuedi until Sept
12 and 13. Train No. 24, leaving Portland at 5:30 p.
m will continue to run through to Seaside until Sept.
30th.
Q. B. JOHNSON, Qen'I Agent
12th St, near Commercial St ASTORIA, OREGON.
HMMMIIIIIIIIIIMIIHIIIimMIHHMIIHIIMMM
THE TRENTON
First-Class Liquors and Cigars
C32 Commerdt! Street.
Z Corner Commercial and 14th.
i
llltmHIIIHIHIIHIMHtlUUHa4)i
HAD TWO MORE PLATES.
fnd Felt They Saved the Honor of the
American Navy.
Every graduating class a Annapolis
leaves bebiud It tbe fame of certain
heroes lu the line of physical prowess
or mental endeavor. One of these he
roes was George Dewey, a fine, manly,
athletic youth, the pride of tbe boxing
and fencing masters and tbe terror of
all bullies. .
In Dewey's class was a youth of an
excellent bent for applied mathematics,
but so tender of physique tbat be often
suffered from tbe rough horseplay of
his elders. Dewey took the boy under his
protection, and the two became fast
friends. Tbey swung tbeir bam mock h
in tbe same watch on their graduating
cruise and when the ship touched at
Liverpool obtained permission to run
up to London on a day's leave. By
rlsrid ecouomy the two had scraped to
gether a little more tban 2 apiece, and
they landed in the English capital ar
rayed In splrk and span new uniforms.
A round of slghtseeiug bad reduced
their combined capital to 2 sovereigns
and tbelr return tickets when their
boyish appetites announced tbe hour of
noon.
With tbe cautious economy of his an
cestors tbe Scotsman suggested a chop
house, but nothing but the best would
suit Dewey, and he accordingly steer
ed his chum into the finest hotel he
could find.
Tbe two seated themselves at one of
tbe tables and scanned the menu with
a magnificent air. The first item that
caught their eyes was strawberries and
cream, and thla, wltb its reminiscence
of home, they proceeded to order.
Aow, the time was whiter, and
strawberries from the hothouse are ex
pensive in London, so it was small
wonder that the other guests who had
learned the order looked Inquiringly at
these specimens of the Jeunesse doree
of the American navy. An Oxford lad
who sat next them seemed particular
ly Impressed and turned his large eyes
upon them with awe. The strawber
ries were good, and all went well until
the obsequious waiter returned with a
bill for 1. The Scotsman nearly col
lapsed, but Dewey noticed the eyes of
the Oxonian upon him and, turning su
perbly to the waiter, ordered twe more
plates.
The middles left with empty nock-
ets, but haughtily conscious that they
bad saved the honor of the American
navy.
AN ANCIENT HIGHWAY.
England's Great North Road Is Two
Thousand Years Old.
Before we reached Hatfield, a few
miles out of London, we had alreadv
been impressed with the magnificence
of this Great North road, which Is
said to have been built by a Mr. Cae
sar, whose headquarters were in Rome
at the time. It Is the direct route
from London to Edinburgh and has
been traveled for so many centuries
that the earliest histories of England
contain accounts of the movement of
troops upon It It is a great thorough
fare for vehicles of all sorts, motor
Ists and cyclists, and In these modern
daj's there are well worn footpaths
along either side for pedestrians. We
passed scores of motors, and I was
told while , In England that the popu
larity of motoring had noticeably di
minished the number of first class
travelers by rail. We found the road
for ita enure length at .400 jntles. In
pSflBPSJtWpBISSJSS
1 . '.MsatassV
.3
the
U
at Close Prices
BOOK STORE
. ASTORIA. OREGON
perfect' condition. In ma"ny Portions
the macadam Is said to be nine feet
thick. Lons sections of tbe road are
oiled, and on no part of It was -there
any appreciable amount of dust There
are few sharp curves, and the grades
are so slight that it has become a
great thoroughfare for speeders, with
the result that there are many police
traps for which one has to watch. We
found that we could stop In almost any
little village and get Information as to
Just where tbe traps were located as.
for instance, tbey told ns at Blgles
wade, which is a better looking place
than its name, to look out for traps
Just the other side of Buckden and
again in approaching Weston.--Frank
Presbrey in Outing Magazine.
Fully Equal.
Aunt Mandy is an old colored womaa
who for years has done washing for
several East Orange families. She has
bad several -matrimonial experiences,
and when her last husband died one
of her customers attempted to condole
with her.
"1 was very sorry to hear of your
husband's death. Aunt Mandy," she
said.
"Ya'as. ma'am," said Aunt Mandy.
"He was a pow'fui good man." (
"What did he die of?"
"Ah really don't know, ma'am." '
"You don't know! Gracious! Couldnt
the doctor tell you?" -
"Ah didn't have no doctab, ma'am,"
said Aunt Mandy. "He jes done died
a natch'ral death."
It wasn't long, however, before Aunt
Mandy bad another husband.
"I hear you are married again," re
marked her patron one day.
"Ya'as, ma'am," giggled Aunt
Mandy. "Ah was done married las
Sunday."
"And Is your new husband equal to
tbe last?"
"Ya'as, indeedy, ma'am," safd Aunt
Mandy. "He's Jes as equal If not
equaler." New York Times. i;
i - . Division of Labor,
"What do you want here?" asked the
warden of the penitentiary.
"I should like to spend a few days
in this institution," said the caller.
"What for?"
"I wish to see how the inmates live."
"What is your object la that! Are
you writing a book?"
"Not at all." -"Detective
story?" ' '
"Nothing of the sort" y
"Story for tbe Sunday papers?" V
"No, sir." '
The warden reflected.
"I suppose," he said, "you are what
they call a sociologist."
"No, sir," said the caller. "Bnt my
brother is. All I do is to study the
conditions. He formulates the theo
ries." Chicago Tribune.
Practice Throwing, Says Kllng.
Catcher Johnny Kllng of the Ohicage
Nationals makes a good point . He
wonders why outfielders in the pre
liminary work don't practkte throwing
No man prospers In this world by
luck unless it be the luck of getting na
early, working hard and maintaining
honor and Integrity. Betcher.
Against God's wrath no castle
thunder proof. Spanish Proverb.
. 7
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