FRIDAY, AUGUST 14
THE MOiv
TOH I A V . A STOMA, OREGON.
i
THE CHEERFUL TURTLE.
Thli Queer Creature Enjoys Many F
culiar Advantage!.
"To bo or nut to lmn turtle? To be
certainly, If 1 could not bo a man," do
clnro one who MptmkM will) knowledge
of hit subject. "Hanking In tropical
Hutm or cruising leisurely In owl
depths, the turtle him nn, exceedingly
good time, A aoon a tho baby turtle
emerges from the egg ho acuities down
to the ses. lie turn no omi to tench
him, no one to guide. In bin little brain
thoro In Implanted n streak of caution,
based on thu fnct that until a certnlii
period bis projecting armor la soft
ml no defense against hungry fish,
ml be Immediately seek shelter In
the tropical proftmton of the gulf wwl,
Which holda within Its branching
frond an astonishing abundnnce of
marine life.
"Ilore tbe young turtle feeds unmo
lested and know that his armor la
hardening apace. Once he hna attained
tbe weight of twenty-five pounds b
may 'cheek' freely any monster of tbe
deep. After that no flh or mammal
vor Interferes with btm. Intending
dorourera may struggle all day to
brook through hla Iron, aboil. They al
waya fail. '
"Tbe turtlo. like tb sperm wTialo,
has but one enemy-man. Now, even
that aptrm whale niuat come pretty
frequently to the surface to breathe,
and If It got beached high and dry on
land what would Itwoine of It? But
tbe cheerful turtle can stay below the
surface for a wwk If bo wants to, and
he often doe,' while If bo 'had to spend
n equal time on land be would enjoy
tbe change and be none the worse for
It lie la neither (IhIi, fieab nor. fowl,
yet hla flesh partakes of tbe character
Istlca of nil three.
"Eating seems a mere superfluity
with him, since for weeks st a time be
may be placed iu a barrel, with the
bung out, aud emerge after hla long
fast apparently none the worse for his
enforced abstinence from food, from
light and Hlniiwt from air. Of all the
warm blooded organisms there Is none
o tenacious of life ns tho turtle. Inju
ries flint would I blatantly fatal even
to flnh lenv the turtlo apparently un
llttturU'd, n ttil hid power of keeping
death nt buy' Is nothing abort of timr-veloim."
A WONDERLAND.
Nsw
tf
AN EFFECTIVE SERMON.
Trumpet BU.t That Drove the People
to Repentance.
Old Peter Cnrtwrlght waa n fntuotu
p metier nnd circuit rider iminy ,vc:i. :
Tin' exbiirler wia holdhg n cn':i;i
meet lug In Ohio. Tlier vns n greu't
unnilx-r of ciimpertt on tlic Old. nd
t!;e eccentric Hanker nddri'm-.il v:it
twa-iinKc ,i( every M't'vKe. but lit
thought too few v.ere belies tmiverted.
lie felt (hut something Klwwld Im Uo-e
to itlr the sIiiihts to vr cuLuht. o
Iii' . repined u airing wrmo:i nil I tie
.rc;i,)d coming uf rhrlid. !!; I ! 1 hov
the world Kuiild go on In Itn fin iiml
v. l,::.v:iii'.v end (it hist tialirltd wmiid
sound UU tnin)'t nnd Ihne would
)!"e t: on end. lie dtwrlhed tho
horror of the lo-tt nnd the Joya of
thaw who were Knved. The sermon
grew In IntciiHliy, and be brought hla
people up to n grnnd climax, when mai
denly tint sound of n trumpet smote
the ears of the niulou throng.
There wna s great sensation, and
mnny fell upon their knuea In terror
and began to repent nnd pray. Women
screamed and strong men groaned.
Pandemonium waa lat loose for few
minutes. After the terror had some
what ceased tbe preacher called to a
tnnn up a tree, and he descended with
a long tin born In bis hand. The
speaker then turned In fierce wrath
and upbraided the people. He cried
- out In stentorian tones that, If a man
with a tin horn np a tree could
frighten them ao, how would It le in
the last great end when Gabriel's
trumpet sounded tbe knell of the worldl
The sermon had a groat effect upon
the vast audience, and many bundreda
nocKoa to tno rrout and were con
verted.
Zealand's Btlt of Qeytera
Boiling Wat.r.
If one can Imagine a furious and ac
tive volcano with a crater a thousand
miles la extent, gunk level with the
earth nnd thinly covered with a screen
of soli, one tins some lden of thu nwe
Inspiring "wonderland" of Now Zealand'-
north Island. You en n not poke
a Stick Into thu ground without start
ing a liolllng spring, and wherever
you turn tho ground Is fairly alive
with geysers of boiling water-steam
Jets and blowholes, with quivering vol
canoes and gurgling "mud pots." nil
colored funtiistlenlly " with rainbow
hues, ranging from brilliant sapphire
to vivid scarlet. Btrunger still, the
entire face of this region Is constantly
changing In shape aud color, and there
ure hot springs here stretching In a
continuous elm In for 300 miles. The
ground throbs and quivers ' with vol
canic activity, and set In tho midst of
It all are native Maori village of sur
passing Interest, a strange race of
mugnlDcent savages, who. although
they have been cannibals within tbej
memory of man, are now a highly In
telligent race and actually send rep
resentative to tbe parliament In Wel
lington.
The native women, gorgeous In gar
ments of crimson, green and purple,
are forever pulling stolidly at big
pipes and going hither nnd thither
about their household work with the
ttitlntst of babies alung across their
backs. Tbl reminds mo that domes
tic work In this strange region la
in fide light Indeed for white , house
wives aa well ns the Maori womeu,
Kvery garden and back yard has Its
hot woter provided by uature.
And when these easy going people
grow hungry the mother prepares n
meat pudding or a joint and drops
It into a convenient pot of miturnl
boiling water In tho earth, and In a
few minutes It Is cooked. The same
convenience are still more In evi
dence on washing day. Stepping care
fully through a tangle of boiling gey
rent and gurgling mud pots, one sud
denly comes upon a great collection of
native women and girls doing tbelr
washing In a vast smoking lake big
enough to have steamers on It. W.
T. Fltx-Gerald In 8t Nicholas.
"...aTI
tbe driving force was caused 'by tho
part which clasped tbe handle and was
therefore behind It. Even If the cart
was fastened to the man's coat tail ho
did not pull It : Ho pushed against bis
clothe.
t
Considerate.
"And would you marry mo If 1 were
a poor girl, working for a living?" ask
ed tbe belress.
"Darling," responded the accepted
suitor, "It wouldn't be fair. You'd be
doing enough In supporting yourself."-
Philadelphia Ledger. '
PEN AND ' INK PIRATES.
FINANCIAL
It Is
J. 0- A. BOWLBY, President
0. 1. PETERSON, Vice-President
LKarary Theft Is Not Stealing!
Called Gsnius.
All authors steal. Tbe capacity for
stealing with art and elegance Is one
of tbe most potent equipments of tbe
literary man.
Shakesnuare waa a masnlflcent thief
He stole whatever be could lay bis Transacts a General Banking Business
FRANK PATTON, Cashier
J. W. GARNER, Assistant Cashier
Astoria Savings Bank
Capital Paid In $115,000. Surplus and Undivided Profits, $100,000
HUMAN MONSTERS.''
In
LIVING PROOF OF IT.
How
8lmpl When You Know How.
An Innocent cockney while in tbe
country asked a farmer bow they man
aged to grow streaky bacon.
"Oh, It Is simple enough," said the
honest agriculturist. "One week we
tarve tho pig or feed him very little.
That makes a layer of lean meat. Next
week we give him all be can possibly
eat, even working overtime, and that
nmkes a row of fat. So by alternate
starving and feeding we get tbe beau
tiful' streaky bueon." ,
"Deer me." said the cockney, "and
how do you mnke the ham?"
"Oh, we manage that by putting a
ring in the pig's nose," was the reply.
London M. A. P.
Tho Careful 8eota.
A Scot and bis wife came to London,
and. tho worthy pnlr were in a hundred
fears concerning the diabolical ingenui
ty of London thieves.
As tbey took their first walk down
the Strand the husbnn'' whispered of
a sudden "hoarsely In her enrs, "Janet,
wumnwii), bust thou got thy teeth
feexod feormly In thy gums?" v '
"Na, no," she answered; "A'm no
sich a fulel I've left 'em safely locklt
awn' uj the nortmoutv'" London
Marriag Oovolop tho Bsst
Trait In Man.
"By the way, Mary," said Mr. Win
terbottom, "young Ascot asked for
my advice today about getting mar
ried."
Mrs. Wlnjerbottom looked up from
tbe pile of socks that she was darn
log. "And what advice did ou give
blm, John?" she said.
"Er hand me them matches, will
you? My pipe' out," ssld Wlnterbot-
tom.
She transi'crred tbe mound of mend
Ing from her lap to a chair, rose and,
tnklng the matches to her husband,
quietly resumed her work again.
"Well," rontluued Mr. Wlnterbottom,
wallowing In bis big cbalr, "I told
Ascot to go ahead and marry at once.
I told blm what I have alway be
lle ved-namely, that nothing develops
tho best traits In a man's character
like matrimony. Nothing, I told him,
so splendidly brings Into blossom
those seeds of unselfishness, of self
sacrifice, that lie dormant In even the
best of bachelors. Tbe bachelor thinks
only of himself. Tbe married man
forgets himself In the protecting care
that he must eternally lavish upon
wife and babes. Coarse, selfish brutes
of bachelors I have seen transmuted
by marriage into a fine gold of such
self forgetfulness and tender consider
ation, such delicate solicitude and
courtcsy-er-ns"
, Mr. Wlnterbottom bad been slapping
his pockets and frowning. Now ho
stopped abruptly "nere's my pipe
out," be said, "nnd I forgot to bring
down that pouch again. Do you mind,
Mary? It's on the dressing table In
tho fourth story front."
Mrs. Wlnterbottom, with pleasant
alacrity, hastened from the room.
New York Presa.
Spoiled tho Prayer.
A weBt end man who had been out
with a party of friends sipping from
the bowl of Joy more than usual stag
gered home, at a loas to know how to
conduct himself to prevent his wife
kuowlng he was Intoxicated. After
turning the question over In his mind
several times ho decided that It would
be well for him to kueel In prayer Just
before retiring, as he sometimes did.
"What in the world are you doing
there, John?" asked his wife.
"Praying."
"Well, your prayer might have more
effect if you took off that silk hat"
St. Louis Republic.
Degenerate! Who Havo Reveled
Doods of Blood.
No country Is free from nightmare
creatures, twisted natures apparently
born without tbe slightest respect for
human life. Some, Indeed, seem ac
tually to take a horrible delight In the
destruction of their fellow creatures.
Such a one was Alfred Kuapp, execut
ed at Hamilton, 0., In August, mi.').
for tho murder of hi wife and four
other women. After bis conviction
nndjWhen be saw that no hope of life
remained be coolly admitted that he
had been a strnngler for years, pounc
ing on little children, throttling them
to death and hiding their bodies.
The "human mole" was a German
degenerate whose horrible crimes
shocked not only Germany, but the
wholo world. . Johnnn Bobbe was his
name. '1 hough thin nnd weak looking.
b!s bands and arms were abnormally
developed, and bis flnjr nails were
simply claws. Without any other tools
than bis hands be could burrow Into
tho solid earth.
He hnd n little tobacco sbon In i
bnck street In Berlin, and here he ex
envnted n deep pit under the floor nnd.
arranged a trapdoor over It. At tin
bottom of tbe pit was a huge Iron
spike. He would decoy hla victims
on to this trap mid hurl them down to
be Impaled on the splko below.
No one knows the full tale of bis vic
tims. A deep pit waa found In the
yard adjacent, which was half full of
molderlng human remains. Among
others wss Itoblie'g own wife.
Another German criminal of a slm
liar type was the schoolteacher Muel
ler, who was arrested on suspicion of
murder at Duernburg, near Bayreutb.
Evidence against him was only cir
cumstantial, and It seemed that he
might escape till the magistrate had
tbe remains of a widow, who was sup
posed to be a victim of his. dug up;
snd Mueller was confronted with them.
Then he broke down aud confessed to
a atrlnir of murders extern! me over a
j period of eight years. The details were
so terrible that the court was cleared,
and later the magistrate himself came
out white nnd shaken.-London Answers.
A
:
' Can W Pull Anything?
Sir Oliver Lodge, tho eminent Eng
lish scientist, said In a lecture that
there Is no such thing as' pulling. To
spenk of a horse pulling a cart was, be
said, incorrect. The horse djd not pull
tbe cart. It pushed against Its collar
and thereby produced motion In the
cart Similarly the oarsman pushed
the water, and the man drawing a
bumlcat-t bad to cIusd tho handle, and
HANNIBAL HAMLIN.
How H Won tho Title "Tho Cartha
ginian of Maine."
Among tbe many stories of Hannibal
Hamlin's eurly experiences in the
Maine legislature none Is more animat
ed than bis tilt with John Holmes. In
teresting, besides, because It gives the
origin of "the Cartbaglnluu of Maine."
n name that stuck to Hamlin through
life. Holmes bud been In the United
Statea senate, and at this particular
time, wrote General Hamlin, a member
of the state bouse of representatives,
was endeavoring to domineer over It
Hamlin disputed the leadership with
him, and Holmes attempted to crush
his young opponent by coarsely ridicul
ing bis swarthy complexion. Instantly
Hamlin Jumped to his feet und. point
ing bis Anger at Holuics, retorted: "If
tho gentleman chooses to And fault
with me for my complexion, what has
be to say about himself? I take my
complexion from nature. He gets his
from the brandy bottle. Which
more nonoraoier' xms retort was
greeted with great applause and cries
of "(io on!"
Hamlin then continued, pointing his
finger at Holmes: "1 will also tell tbe
member from Alfred that he la more
conspicuous for trying to run dryshod
over young men than for trying to en
courage them. But as long as they
are true to themselves and to nature
and as long as tbe member from Al
fred sticks to tbe brandy bottle tbey
need not fear him." As soon as tbe
cheors of the house could be sufficient
ly silenced Holmes retracted his
words and made a manly apology.
The young Carthaginian routed tbe
old Roman" was one humorous com
ment on tbe Incident, and from that
time Hamlin was thus frequently char
acterized. Lewtston Journal.
.band on in a literary way and never
marred in the stealing. He stole
"Measure For Meumire" from a play
called "Promo and Cassandra." He
stole "Hamlet" from a play by George
Kyd. "ftomeo and Juliet" be stole
from Italy
Sir Walter Scott stole with a sublime
talent He stole from antiquarian rec
ords. Ho stole from Goethe. He stole
from Sheridan.
' Charles Iteado claimed tbe rlgbt of
tbe literary artist to set Jewel, eveo
tbougb tbe gems are tbe property of
another.
' Alexandre Dumas, tbe author of
"Tbe Three Musketeer" and "Moot
Cristo." was one of the most remarka
ble metiers In literature. In one single
year bis name was attached to no few
er than forty different books. Kof only
did be steal unblushlngly from every
author who came bandy, but be em
ployed numerous literary ghosts and
passed off their work as bis own.
Brought to book, be had a ready re
ply. 'The man of genius does not
teal," be sn Id: "he only conquers.
Alexander rope, who made tbou
sand of pounds by bis poetic truusla
tlon of Homer's "Iliad." was an Indif
ferent Greek scholar.. In addition to MACOB KAMM
. ,.. . I . I I '
Bivuuug Hum iieviuus iriuisiuiors, oe
employed others to belp and tben
claimed tbe whole work as bis own.
When be translated "Tbe Odyssey"
be kept tbe public In ignorance that
only twelve books could be called bis
and that the rest were tbe work of men
whom be paid badly.
The argumeuts In Pope's "Essay on
Man were furnished by Lord Bollng
broke, and his "Essay on Criticism"
was a poetic version of the cod versa
tlon of hhrintluuites.
Richard Brlusley Sheridan, wit
dramatist and politician, stole but fa
mous characters Charles Surface aod
Joseph Surface in "The School For
Scandal" from Tom Jones and CHOI in
Fielding's well known novel, and be
abducted Tabitba Bramble and Sir
Hubert alackilllgut and transformed
them into those still more entertaining
characters Mrs. Malaprop and Sir Lu
ciua OTrigger In "The Rivals."
Of modern authors who stole and are
stealing still the present writer does
not aay a word. Only history can af
ford to be free spoken. Exchange.
-Interest Paid on Time Deposits
FOUR PER CENT PER ANNUM.
atUrtathandDtiaiMSta, Astoria, OrtgsM.
LITTLE
OVER
3 CENTS
A DAY
A Small Savings Bank.
A Small Savings Account.
An Example iu Thrift.
A Small Fortune. A happy home.
THE BANKING SAVINGS AND LOAN ASS'C'N.
168 10th St. phone Black 2184
First National Bankof Astoria
DIRECTORS
W. F. McGregor G. C. Flavel
W. Ladd S. S. Gordon
Capital.., ............;...... ....... ?J100,000
Surplus 25,000
Stockholders' Liability... 100,000
ESTABLIHMKJI 18M4S.
SCANDINAVIAN-A MER IJQA N
SAVINGS BANK
ASTORIA, OREGON
OUR MOTTO: "Safety Supercede All Other Coniideratioa.
Word Painting.
airs, uraoioy. wnen questioned by a
fellow traveler In tbe Pullman car In
regard to ber borne, launched forth Into
a rather long and detailed description
of Its charms. Tier little girl, Grace.
who bad, been rending when she began
to speak, soon closed her book and lis
tened with great Interest
. "It must be very pleasant," remark
ed the chance acquaintance, aomewbat
perfunctorily, when Mrs. Bradley fin
ished, and Grace, ber eyes gleaming
wltb enthusiasm, said: "Oh, it must be
perfectly lovely! What place Is it
mamma?"
"Why, our own borne, of course,"
answered tbe mother, somewhat embar
rassed.
"Oh, dear," said Grace, sighing, "how
much better It sounds than it looks!"
Youth's Companion.
Sherman Transter Co.
HENRY SHERMAN, Maaagar.
Hack, Carriages Baggage Checked and Transferred Tracks and Farmitare
wagons nanos Moved, Boxed and Snipped.
423 Commercial Street . . Mala PImm 131
A SUIIEK
DRIIK
On Way to Look at It.
Cornish humor is often unconscious,
a writer In the English Illustrated
Magazine says, and proceeds to fur
nish a coucrete example.
"Qwaln to lam your boy the fiddle,
are 'ee?" asked one Cornishman of
another.
"Iss," was tbe reply.
"lie watn't never play the fiddle
'tall."
"Ow shouldn't aw?"
" 'Cos his bead's too big."
"Go on with 'ee. The bigger
head tbe more tunes he'll bold."
tbe
KIND
Cores Biliousness, Sick
Headache, Sour Stom
. fich, Torpid Liver and
'Chronic
Pleasant
T. F. LAURENN OWL DR UO STORE.
nuo'S0"' Laxative Fruit Syrup
Cleanses the system
thoroughly and, clears
sallow complexions of
pimples and blotches.
It is guaranteed
Need and Needs.
Perhaps many persons have wonder
ed why we are taught to say "He need
not do that" Instead of "He needs not
do that," as the singular pronoun, he,
requires under ordinary conditions the
singular form of the verb. Tbe reason
Is that In a sentence of that kind, a
negative sentence, expressing retire
ment or obligation, "need" becomes an
auxiliary and takes no change of termi
nation In tbe third person singular.
This exception Is laid down In tbe
grammars. Chicago News.
Unfermented Grape Juice
absolutely non-alcoholic
Concord.- .5oc quart
Catawba .... 60c quart
Welch's Grape Juice '
Nips 15c
The Iron Crown.
ine iron crown or Lombardy, so
called from the narrow Iron band with
in it supposed to have been beaten out
of one of the nails used at the cruci
fixion, was probably first worn by
Aglluph at bis coronation In 591. The
historic crown after gracing the brows
of such sovereigns as Charlemagne,
Henry of Luxemburg. Frederick IV.,
Charles V." and the great Napoleon was
in 1SC6 given up to Victor Emmanuel
and Is now preserved with great care
at Monza, near Milan.
Extravagance.
"This Is your little sister, Tommy."
said the father, showing him the baby.
"You will love her dearly, will you
not?"
"Yes, of course." replied Tommy, in
specting the latest arrival, "but It'll
cost a great deal to keep her, won't it?"
"I presume so.'
"ies, said Tommy, with a long
drawn breath, "and when I asked you
the other day to buy me a white rab
bit you said you couldn't afford It"
Thit la a Fact.
"When a man loves a girl In a novel
he raves about her through forty chap
ters. In real life he never mentions her
name."
"What's the application?"
"Merely that realism In a love story
Is not possIble."-St. Louis Republic.
AMERICAN IMPORTINGSCO.
589 Commercial Street
Fisher Brothers Company
SOLE AGENTS
Marbour and Finlayson Salmon Twines and Netting
McCormick Harvesting Machines
Oliver Chilled Ploughs
Sharpies Cream Separators '
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Fishermen's Pure Manilla Rope, Cotton Twine and Seine Web
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FISHER BROS.
BOND STREET
Still Faithful.
awe. auzanne Is that young man
still under the wludow? Mald-WeU,
mademoiselle, he's running around la
the snow to keep himself warm, but
he goes io tbe shape of a heart all the
II
toss
SCOW BAY BRASS &
' '.. ASTORIA, OKEOON ; .C ' ;.
I OH AND BRASS FOUNDERS UNO ANO MARINL ENGINEERS
Prompt attention given to all repair
Up-to-Date Sawmill Machinery
18th and Franklin Ave.
work. Tel. Main 2461
time. Bon Vlvant