THE MORNING ASTORIAN, ASTORIA, OREGON.
BUJNUAI, MAY J, l'JW.
THE MORNING
ASTORIAN
Established 1873.
Published Daily Except Monday by
THE J. S. BELLINGER CO.
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wtfWt.V ASTORIAN.
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Entered as second-class matter July
in icmv; t tii nnstoffice at Astoria.
Oregon, under the act of Congress of
March 3, IB
tr Orders for the delivering of The
Morning Astorian to either residence
Ttr place of business .may be made by
postal card or through telephone. Any
regularity in delivery should be im
mediately reported to the office of
publication.
TELEPHONE MAIN 661.
JHE WEATHER -
Oregon, Washington, Idaho Oc
casional rain.
DO OUR OWN SHIPPING!
It being conclusively demonstrated,
after half a century of waiting, that
the outsider is not coming in here
with his own money or his friends'
money, to do a general shipping busi
ness from this port, we take it that
it is up to us to do our own shipping.
And, when one gets right down to the
quick of the thing there is no par
ticular reason why we should not
Shipping is no insuperable, mys
terious, proscribed field of commer
cial business; it is amenable to
money, brains, experience , oppor
tunity, and a given field of activity; it
has its experts, its trained operators,
its rules and limitations and requisi
tes, just as other businesses have
them. We have the money here at
Astoria; we have keen, trained, capa
ble men and there are others to be
had; we have good docks and ware
houses at hand awaiting this very
use (since they have no other, ap
parently); we have every natural ad
vantage we could ask for in the way
of harborage, for the time being and
the needs of a new venture; we have
fresh water anchorage and channel
ways and but a 12-mile traverse to
and from deep water.
The mere fact that the business is,
at present, monopolized at Portland
should not deter us in going after
that which, by every law of economy
and despatch in that business, should
be done from here; it should, rather,
lend emphasis and invitation to the
home project. A round dozen of
export grain cargoes, hence, on com
mon point rates, would open the eyes
of the grain shipping world and it
is strictly up to us to make it. That
we will do it, and succeed, is the liv
ing dread of Portland; another ex
cellent reason for making the try;
but once we achieve it, Astoria will
know no better friend than Portland.
We declare and claim and brag
about our wonderful capacities and
facilities as a port and then discount
every word and proof by remaining
inrt, denying ourselves the fruit we
are lavishly offering others Knowing
the real scope and value of what we
possess it ought to be worth $50,000
of Astoria money to focus it all to
her own supreme and abounding advantage.
j munitics and papers of Oregon. We
tried to tell it, the other day, how
glad we were that it. had at last
broken away from its old war-fetich
of keeping the Columbia bar chan
nels on a par with the depths of the
river, hence to Portland; and it turns
complacently and sneeringly to tell
us that it has, frd"m time immemorial,
been in favor of all the water that
could be attained on the bar, and we
have been misrepresenting not only
the Oregonian but our own people
and interests all this time. What can
one -do in the face of such sublimated
nerve as that!
Time, with its evolvements, raw,
unexpected, insuperable, is the only
thing that ever gets the best of the
Oregonian; we are trusting to time
to square what differences we may
have with the Thundrerer; and it will
do it. It always has had a hand in
gageing and minifying the mighty
and transposing the false and impos
ing to the rare level of simple fact.
Even the whoof of the hog has its
echo!
WORD ODDITIES.
EDITORIAL 'SAlAD.-
A British factory committee re
ports to Parliament that two of the
great forest areas of the United States
are exhausted, and the other two are
going fast. The price of lumber con
firms the estimate.
Shakespeare, who thought of every
thing, anticipated the new hats when
he said: "We will fill thy wishes to
the brim with principalities," and "To
be in peril of my life with the edge of
a feather bed."
"Football toughness," says Presi
dent Eliot, "is not the kind of tough
ness which is most profitable in after
life." But Harvard would greatly
enjoy a paramount touoghness on
the various athletic fields in earlier
life.
The announcement of the building
of two ocean liners 1000 feet long will
speedily lead to the planning of a
1001?footer, and then look out for
a jump to 1111 feet. At 1320 feet the
quarter stretch will be covered.
"WHOOF, WHOOF!"
It may be noticed that the Port
land Oregonian has a way of pon
derously and superciliously belittling
any and every friendly overture the
minor papers of the State make in
behalf of that city and its commercial
interests, especially if the outside pa
per has, at any time, for just cause,
fought the metropolitan Juggernaut.
The Astorian has, on occasion, lam
basted the big sheet the best it knew
how, and always with due regard to
public opinion down here; in fact, it
has helped defeat it in some of its
nastier processes of commercial over
riding and political chicane; and has
been, generally, and honestly, alive to
the Oregonian's trickery, and expects
to be on guard right along as the
days pass and opportunity rises for
it to "sting" Astoria.
But all the same, we like the great
paper immensely; we are proud of it
just as the State at large is proudof
it; it is one of the famous newspapers
of the land, etc., etc., etc. But, again,
it is not without its paltrinesses, chief
of which is its shameless treatment of
outside communities that get in its
way commercially and the shallow
sham of its eternal cry for "all Ore
gon" when all Oregon knows, as it
knows its own name, that PORT
LAND reads Oregon for that paper.
That is tradition in this State.
What it is so religiously devoted
to, as its own cardinal precept, it
might account for in the lesser corn-
Mr. Balfour assures his fellow En
glishmen that it is nonsense to say
that 80,000,000 Americans are domi
nated by a decadent plutocracy.
There are plenty of intelligent for
eigners who size up the yellow publi
cations correctly.
Senator Bailey's opponents are
working hard to prevent his election
as one of the Texas delegates at
large to Denver. Mr. Bailey threat
ened to drive his political enemies in
to the gulf, and they say they will
force him out of public life. It is a
bitter fight and grows in fierceness.
A Notre Dame Lady's Appeal
To all knowing sufferers of rheuma
tism, whether muscular of of the joints,
sciatica, lumbago, backache pains in
the kidneys or neuralgia pains, to write
to her for a home treatment which has
repeatedly cured all of these tortures.
She feels it her duty to send it to all
sufferers FREE. You cure yourself at
home as thousands will testify no
change of climate being necessary. This
simple discovery banishes uric acid from
the blood loosens the stiffened joints,
purifies the blood, and brightens the
eyes, giving elasticity and tone to the
whole system. If the above interests
you, for proof address Mrs. M. Sum
mers, Box R, Notre Dame, Ind.
Biliousness and Constipation.
For years I was troubled with bil
iousness and constipation, which made
life miserable for me. My appetite
failed me. I lost my usual force, and
vitality.. . Pepsin preparations and
cathartics only made matters worse.
I do not know where I should have
been today had I not tried Chamber
lain's Stomach and Liver Tablets.
The tablets relieve the ill feeling at
once, strengthen the digestive func
tions, purify the stomach, liver and
blood, helping the system to do its
work naturally. Mrs. Rosa Potts,
Birmingham, Ala. These tablets are
for sale by Frank Hart and Leading
Druggists.
Some
Bad Attack of Dysentery Cured.
"An honored citizen of this town
was suffering from a severe attack of
dysentery. He told a friend if he
could obtain a bottle of Chamberlain's
Colic, Cholera and Diarrhoea Rem
edy, he felt confident of being cured,
he having used this remedy in the
West. He was told that I kept it in
stock and lost no time in obtaining it,
and was promptly cured," says M. J.J
Leach, druggist, of Wolcott, Vt. For
sale by Frank Hart and Leading
Druggists. i '
Interesting Curiosities of the
English Language.
Here Is some Eugllsn that seldom Is
written aud some other luttresttng cu
riosities of Mother English.
Honorlflcabllltudlnltatlbua Is a rath
er long word. You cunuot And It In
the dictionary, but you will find It used
In Shakespeare nud some of the other
early English writers.
The word Is meaningless. , The only
Interesting point about it ts Its length.
Twenty-seven letters In a. breath are
quite a few. But our dtcttouary gives
some almost us longfor lustance, the
following two of twenty-four .letters
each:
Trtiusubs tnntlatlonallsts. .
Imuithropomorphlssbilliy.
Here are some of the other boa con
strictors: Twenty-three letters:
Dlsproportlonsblenessss.
Twenty-two:
Intvrcommuntcabllltles.
Twenty-one:
Intel-convertibilities. ',
Twenty:
JIlstomorphologicAlly.
Interdlfferentltttlon.
Suptrsensltlvenesses,
Hypcrsensitivenesses. !
It Is safe to say that the ordinary
reader would not rim on to one of
these In a hundred years, and If be did
he would run the other way.
It Is Interesting to know that the
entire alphabet can be arranged in one;
intelligible seutence without the repe-j
tltlon of a slugle letter-Just twenty-:
six letters in the following sentence,
and no two alike:
J. Q. Vands struck my big tax whelp,
That simple sentence is the hardest
possible one to write on the typewriter,
So many of the letters in the alphabet j
are used so seldom that even a good
typist has to study out the combina-j
tion before finding some of them. This ;
sentence Is the only known one that1
contains every letter In the alphabet
but once and makes sense. " j
Another Interesting word group Inj
which the entire alphabet is put into
seven words and only tblrty-two let-!
tere are used -is: "Burst, fed, Jingle,;
quip, vim, hack, syxomma." This Isj
the smallest number of words that the I
alphabet can be Included in.
Two Intelligible senteuces, however,
of eight words and thirty-two letters
apiece have been found. They are:
Quick brown fox jump over the lazy Aog. j
Pack my box with Ave duMn liquor Jug. ;
The first sentence is often used in
testing the types on typewriters on ac
count of the shortness and the fact
that It Includes every letter and has the
advantage of making sense.
Here Is a list of the longest mono
syllables in English:
Seven letters, through; eight letters,
strength, thoughts, starched, thrilled,
straight, squalled, schnapps; nine let
ters, strengths, squelched, scratched,
splotched, stretched. i
Probably the- most Interesting word
curiosity is the one made up of the
greatest number of other words In the
regular sequence. That word is In
discrimination. In-dtac-rlm-in-at-i-on
contains seven words and is only six
teen letters long. That is allowing a
fraction more than two letters to eacb
word, and only one word Is repeated.
Here are two that have six separate
words within the one:
Ass-ass-ln-.t-l-on
Assassination.
In-fln-lt-at-l-on
Inflnltatlon.
There do not seem to be any that can
be Bplit up Into five sensible parts, bul
here are several quads: ,
In-sat-l-ate
Insatiate.
Ass-ass-sln-ate
Assassinate.
In-vest-l-gate
Investigate.
Two three-part words that make
sense when the parts are taken sepa
rately are:
To-get-her
Together.
; In-no-cent
Innocent.
The dictionary Is full of funny and
curious things. This is only a small
part of the unusual things that you
can find out about words In an hour's
perusal of the most wordy book in the
English language. New York Press.
The Wisdom of Experience.
There was no doubt In the minds of
the Hobart family that young James
had a remarkable gift. It remained
for an obscure uncle from the Cape to
drop a word of caution and of worldly
wisdom.
"You say he's wonderful farseelng
and can tell folks Just how things are
going to turn out?" he Inquired.
"Yes, it seems so," said James' ador
ing mother.
-"Well, now, if you want him to be th
most onpop'lar man anywhere round
you Just let him foretell and prophesj
and forecast," remarked the old unclt
grimly. "If you want him to keep a
few friends you must shunt blm offoo
to some other track. Let him work oui
sums In his head. That's a harmless
practice." -
"But why?" faltered the mother.
"Just this," answered the authorltj
from down on the Cape. "When hf
prophesies things '11 go wrong and
they do go wrong the heft of the blam
will be laid straight on his shoulders
When he says they'll go right and the)
do folks '11 be too busy enjoying them
selves to remember your James. Am!
when he says they'll go wrong anc
they go right they'll call him a fool
.Now, I'm above seventy, and you mint
what I tell ye!" Youth's Companion.
't5
Low Cut Footwear
We invite attention to our choice and un
usually handsome lines of Women's Low Cut
Footwear The newest creations of the world's
best shoe-makers are here -Oxfords, Tics,
Pumps and Slippers in many exclusive designs.
A display well worth any woman's time
ocming to see. .
Prices; Reasonable in Every Instance
.t4 At
it t T
WHERITY, RALSTON $ CO.
Astoria's Best Shoe Store
479 Commercial St. :: ASTORIA. ORE.
j J MJllmnr,,, nnnn nimn.nnLuni
I
England's First Sank Not. Forger.
Whether the trick of forging notes
was Indulged In within the limits. of
China. Venice, Spain and other coun
tries where banks ilrxt hud their exist
cuce history does not record. But the
man who tirst forged u note of the
Bank of England was thereby, to quote
a phrase too often misapplied, "damn
ed to everlasting fame." It was In
1758, sixty-four years after the Bank
of England was founded, that Ulchard
. iiilam Viiiuth. a linen draper, of Ktuf
..u was uiusL unhappily led by mlii
K"d vanity mid affection Into this
crime. He was then passionately In
love with a young lady of his city,
who. however, would not listen to his
pleadings because, us she frankly told
him, his worldly wealth fell short of
her desires. He, therefore, forged a
number of bank notes, which he show
ed to her to prove that he was very
much richer than she had supposed.
Had he not allowed the avaricious
young lady to handle the notes all
might have been well, but she ab
stracted one of them and passed It,
with speedy calamitous results. Vnngh
was nrrested, his plea of his lack of
dishonest Intent In muklng the notes
was not .allowed, and ho was con
demned to death and hanged.
Pleasant For James.
When Mr. Hansom won his bride, be
felt properly humble at securing such
a prize, and In the nfter years Mrs.
Hansom never allowed him- to lapse
Into forgetf ulness of her condescension.
"You really cared for me, I'm sure,"
suld Mr, Hansom. "That Is a great
comfort to think I didn't urge you
against your wishes."
"James," said Mrs. Ransom, In a tone
suited to her imposing and somewhat
massive uppcanuice, "how could you
ever doubt my affection? Have I not
told you that I had proposals from men
who were hiiiliuut, handsome and tal
ented and passing them all by, James,
I chose you!"-Youth's Companion.
Ma de in
NewYork
HE chief
difference in
Style between
real New York
Clothes
Sceor.w and Sawsoe.
Weary Walker told this to Ruthless
Broderlck, whom lie met on top of a
haystack :
"Say, a lady says ter me: -Go Inter d
back yard uW yer will sue a wood pile.
Saw a couple uv cords an' den come
an' git yer breakfast. After awhile I
comes up to do house an' asts fer me
breakfast, an' she says, 'Did yer see de
wood?'. An' I says, 'Yes.' An' she
says, 'Did yer saw de wood?' An' 1
says, 'Yes.' An' she says. 'I didn't see
yer saw it' An' I says, 'Well, yer saw
me see It, didn't yer?' An' she says,
'Yes.' 'Well.' I says. 'If you'd 'a' seed
irot I sawed you'd 'a' k lowed.' " Lon
.on Scraps.
and other Clothes,
is the difference between
this Season and last
Season.
And Style is one reason
why we sell '"Benjamin"
Clothes.
The other reason is that, .
dollar for dollar, -they
represent the
greatest value.
JUDD BROTHERS
The Brownsville Woolen Mills Store
557 Commercial Street
Whooping Cough.
"In February our daughter had the
whooping cough. Mr. Lane of Hartland
recommended Chamberlain's Cough
. ers the best of satisfaction. We found
it OS ll m b.M nml nrn ... nv . A i.
to anyone having children troubled
with whooping cough," says Mrs. A.
Goss, of Durand, Mich. For sale by1
Remedy and said it gave his custom-1 Frank Hart and Leading Druggist?..