THE MORNING ASTORIAN, ASTORIA, OREGON.
FRIDAY, MARCH 27, 1908.
7:30 Tonight
1 First Performance!
; AtTheHv'l'
Biiou Dream
5 6S4 COMMERCIAL STREET .
BETWEEN FIFTEENTH SIXTEENTH
Moving Pictures
and Illustrated
Songs
4 1"
PERFORMANCES LASTING ONE HOUR,
; FUN AND AMUSEMENt FOR ALL
Admission 10c
Children 5 c
PROGRAM CHANGES MONDAY
WEDNESDAY AND SATURDAY
7EET0
.-J
The Old Reliable
'VC
CHICAGO
Ti 1;.. Jii V.J
PAINLESS
' K!..-tf V ''"1
DENTISTS
Cor. Commercial and .Eleventh fits.
Astoria, orjl
PhonaSSOl
Headquarters
PORTLAND, ORE.
Are equipped to do all kinds of
Dental work at very lowest prices.
Nervous people and those aiEicted
with heart weakness may have no
fear of the dental chair.
22 K. crown.. ........... ....11X9
Bridge work, per tooth.. .....IN
Gold fillings .. $1X9 p
Silver fillings.. 50c to $1X0
Best rubber plate............ $8 00
Aluminum-line plate $10 to $15.00
These offices are modern through
out We are able to do all work
absolutely painless. Our success is
due to uniform high grade work by
gentlemanly operators having 10
to 15 years- experience. Vegetable
Vapor, patented and used only by
us for painless extraction of teeth,
50c A binding guarantee given
with all work for 10 years. Exami
nation and consultation FREE.
Lady in attendance. Eighteen of
fices in the United States.
Cor. Commercial and Eleventh Sts.,
v- over Danziger store.
More than two-thirds of your life
you wear shoes. Did you ever think
of that?
The Dr. A? Reed
Cushion Shoe
Was built to give your feet comfort
two-thirds of your life; the rest you
sleep.
The W. L. Douglas
Shoe
Hat a world-wide reputation. Wear
onr and be up to date.
S. A lGllftRE
, 543 BOND STREET.
( Opposite Fisher Bros.
Bitst kinds of logging shoes, han.
ma Je, always on hand.
ASTORIA
DANCING
SCHOOL
Exchange street, opposite Skating
Rink. Open every dav and evening.
Pupils can enter any grade from
beginning to advanced classes. Our
weekly social dance, every Wednes
day evening, has become very popu
lar. Admission, gentlemen, 50c; ladies
i.. j
"t( ':"'! VJP- ' '! W f J ,
e
DVVSER JOINS CLUB
He Becomes a Member of the
. Beethoven and:Warble$; r 1
ASKED TO SING IN QUARTET.
Hat a Talk With Wifty About the
MatUr She Advittt Him to Consult
a Doctor For Four of Straining His
Volco Trios Koy of O.
tCopyrleht. 190S, by T. C. McClure.J
After dinner the of tier evening Mr.
Bowser sat down to lils newspaper and
cigar, but after five luluutes lie began
to hitch around miettslly, and at
length, when Mrs. Bowser was watch
ing him, Ue said: 1 ..i . 'j ; . ; 5
"If you were only a different sort of
woman, I'd like to talk with you for a
few minutes." . -
"Well, I'll try and be different,'' she
replied. . J'What is It that you wish to
speak about?" ..." -' . -
"You know I Joined the Beethoven
club two weeks ago?" ,
"Was It the Beethoven clubr
"Of course It was. I told you at the
time." """ -
"Yes, I think you did. Has anything
happened to the club since you Joined
Itr ...v. .A,v,,VM - i '
flthas haiPfiUHL.that they want me
AND HE GKOWI.KO .4X1) KOABXD AND
THCXHEKKO.
in the Big Four qimrtet to sing bass,
and that's what I wanted to talk with
you about this evening."
Mrs. Bowser looked up and turned
pale. The cat wis Jucf purring him
self to sleep, and he suddenly opened
his eyes and rose up and turned around
three times. If there Is cue thing Mr.
Bowser can't do it Is to slug. He can't
even make a stab at it Ue can't read
notes, and his "time" is like the hoof j
beats of a drove of. cattle running I
around a barnyard. Mrs. Bowser In- j
stantly realized that if lie had been in-j
vtted to make one of a quartet it was a !
put up job and that she had a work of j
diplomacy on band to rescue him from
humiliation. I
But you will ilwline tin honor?" j
she queried as she saw him regarding!
her suspiciously '
"Why should I? 1 joined the club
i-.- .
because It is a Iufinj; club, and I : grants and roars and growls emanat
want the practice." j tog from your house, and I mean that
"But you are subject to hoarseness,
and if I were you I shouldn't want to i
iraln my throat."
"There'll be no straining. Any doc- J
tor will tell you that staging strength- j
ens the throat The trouble has been!
that , I haven't sun enou&U. They !
want my bass, as 1 said, but I've been i
wondering if I hadn't better lng bar!-'
tone altogether. .That's what I wanted I
to talk to you about Howevr, if you
are busy watching that yafler eyed old
cat we can let the talking xo. What
ails the miserable reptile anyway?"
The cat was having what ltoked like
a fit She .stood up and hn nped her
back, and then she lay lown and rolled
over and over and coughed and sput
tered and kicked.
"I gave her a fish head about two ;
hours ago, atxl perhaps sire got a bone ' -in
her throat" explained Ttirs. Bowser, I
but blushing with guilt as one said so.
I think If you decide to juin the quar
tet you had belter stick to Uss. I am
afraid of your throat, hoftever, and I
hope you will consult the doctor first.
You might lose your voice by straining j
ft
"And I might Btreiigrhen it 100 per l
cent, just give me tne cnords or "ine
Old Kentucky Homo' on the piano, will
you? I want to noe If my voice Is In
good trim."
Tries Key of Q.
"M've got a lame wrist tonight.
dear, aud I don't think I can remember
the chords either."
"Well, try once. I believe It goes In
the key of G."
Mrs. Bowser turned to the piano, and
with a chill clutching at Iht heart shr
played the chords of -.f -!ni Brov.nV
Body." Mr. Bowser cIcmjvI his throat
and began to sing almul li.'s Old Ken
tucky home Just ih : as? if the
bonis fitted if. It wasn't, vyitat .Caniso
would call warbling. Tin i u!sc stai'toil
in a low growl at his s'to.' tops an:.'
gradually worked nj It l:c:-i:;!r
the roar of a lion m'kin for Ills P"?,-
Then It dropped to the il.'ep nr.i'ile fl'
bull looking at u twnip o:i f.i tr
rail of a fence and finally died a way ',i
the distance like the sounds of a pasa
lng flood.
"Well, what do you think of It?" ask
ed the singer as he paused to lay in h
fresh stock of growls and roars.
"I I wish you wouldn't," answered
Mrs. Bowser as she turned from the
Instrument'
"What! Whnfs'that you wtahr, V ,
"J wish you wouldn't become one ot
the Big Four; I'd much rather you'd
be one of the Little Five."
"But , what in thunder does this
mean? Are you finding fault with my
singing?"
"No-o-o. but It scorns to be such an
effort on your part Mr. Bowser,,, I was
reading ouly tho other day of a man
who burst open while sluglng." .'"
"Burst be hanged! Nothing of tho
kind ever happened. Let me repeat
those two last lines.
And he growled and roared and thun
dered to the air of "Buffalo Girls" as
much as any other, and at the finish
the cat took a run for the hall, and
those on the back yard fences set up a
wall In unison. More than that, some
hoodlums passing the house stopped,
and one of them was heard to yell out;
"They's got an old bull in the house,
and tho bull Is mad about, ltr
"Well?" queried Mr. Bowser.
f Won't you, please say you'll give It
upf pleaded Mrs. Bowser.
e 'Give it up! Woman, what means
all this nonsense? Yqu talk about the
danger of straining my voice and about
a man bursting up, and, all, that, and
then ask me not to become one of the
Big Four. What sort of a game are
you trying to play?"
"No game, dear, but you see"
"I see nothing, but I want a plain
answer to a plain question, la toy
voice all right?' - -
"Yes-for talking."
"But for singing?"
"I wouldn't try to sing If I were you
not at present You you don't seem
to carry the tune, and your time is way
off. You see you haven't done much
singing since we were married." .
1 don't seem to carry the tune! My
time is way off!" he echoed as he stood
back and folded his arms and assum
ed a pose. "I have a voice for talk
ing, but not for singing, and you ad
vise me not to try any more! This to
me to Samuel Bowser!"
, "But don't get vexed, dear."
Too Much For Him.
'This to me to me, who was sing
ing in public when you were a child
grubbing for strawberries in the grass!
By the seven one-horned bulls of Ba
shan, Mrs. Bowser, this Is too much
too much!"
. "But you said you wanted a plain
answer to a plain question. I don't
think you can sing, but perhaps there
are others who will think you can. It's
not against you, you know. There are
thousands and : thousands of people
who can't sing a note."
"This to me to me!" mused Mr.
Bowser as he walked slowly down the
hall with long, dramatic strides.
"Axe you going out, dear?"
"To me to me!" And he clapped
on his hat, got into his overcoat and
was gone.
He didn't know Just where he was
going to, and when ha reached the cor
ner he stopped and loaned up against
the fence.
He was leaning and think-
lug when a policeman came along and
halted to nay: m
"Oh, here you are. Your name Is
Bowser? Have you got a grizzly bear
chained up In your house?"
hat nonsense, sir! w hat do you
mean by such a question?" was the re-
ply-
I mean luat the neighbors on each
side of you are now down at the sta-
tn complaining of the groans and
they have got to be stopped or you'll
find yourself in the eooior hefore tnorn-
tos- Take my advice and go home and
turn that bear outdoors."
ut air. uowser unm t. instead he
took a walk about that cot ered .seven
niiIc3 acJ a:i ur a:ul a half, and n-J
the time he was thinking ho he could
Ket even wltn Mrs. Bowser for liocp-
ln Ulrn oul 01 tIie lilS our.
M QUAD.
Astoria
Theater, Sunday, March 28. .
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RUTH WHITE
In "The Burgomaster," Astoria 1
CLASSIFIED ADVERTISEMENTS
help waited;
WANTED A GIRL FOR GRNi
eralv housework. Apply Mrs.
Charles Brinks, 15th and Lexington.
FOR SAUT
FOR SALE-TWO -LOTS, 75x150
feet; in Chinook; will sell for $1500;
a bargain. Address Chas. Eklund,
Chinook. 3-15-2.
FOR SALE FURNITURE OF A
5-room house; all ready to move
into; low rent; centrally located.
WESTERN REALTY CO.,
u iy: ' - 172 Tenth St
FOR SALE THE STOCK AND
fixtures of a general store located a
few miles from Astoria; very clean
stock, and will invoice about $7000.
Particulars at
WESTERN REALTY CO.
ONE, HUNDRED-ROOM HOTEL
for sale; doing a splendid business;
good opportunity for a first-class
hotel man. .
WESTERN REALTY CO.
FOR SALE-ONE-QUARTER OR
one-half interest in a summer re
sort hotel doing a fine business; over
100 rooms and always engaged 'way
ahead.
WESTERN REALTY CO.
FOR SALE-THE FURNITURE
of a large lodging house; rooms
always full; low rent
WESTERN REALTY CO.
FOR SOT.
FOR RENT-ROOMS, CENTRAL
ly located, suitable for housekeep
ing for small family. Apply to Van
Dusen & Co., 119 11th st.
FOR RENT 9-ROOM FLAT ON
Commercial street Inquire at 179
Ninth street 3-25-6t.
FOR RENT Furnished rooms to
let; Mrs. Ingleton, corner 15th and
Franklin avenue. Enquire at Milli
nery Store. 3-25-3t.
FOR RENT OR FOR SALE-NINE
room house, cor. Jerome and 17th
streets. Apply to Capt Ferchen,
330 17th street 2-2tf.
FOR RENT-FURNISHED FLAT;
3 rooms; ground floor; ?lo per
month. 116 Eighth street.
PROFESSIONAL CARDS.
ATTORNEYS-AT-LAW
CHARLES H. ABERCROMBIE
Attorney-at-Law
City Attorney Offices : City Hall
JOHN C. McCUE
Attorney-at-Law
Deputy District Attorney.
Page Building Suite 4.
HOWARD M. BROWNELL
Attorney-at-Law
Office with Mr. J. A. Eakin, at 420
Commercal St., Astoria.
DENTISTS
DR. VAUGHAN
Dentist
Pythian Building, Astoria, Oregon
DR. W. C. LOGAN
Dentist .
Commercial St Shanahan Bldg.
BUSINESS DIRECTORY.
RESTAURANTS.
TOKIO RESTAURANT.
351 Bond Street
Opposite Ross, Higgins & Co.
Coffee with Pie or Cake 10 Cts.
FIRST-CLASS MEALS
Regular Meals 15 Cts. and Up.
U. S. RESTAURANT.
434 Bond Street,5
Coffee with Pie or Cake, 10 Cts.
First-Class Meals, 15 Cts.
BOAT BUILDER.
T. I;. Dricoll
..... , ."t ' T ;. . ,- . ...
BOATBUILDING AND REPAIR
INO A SPECIALTY. ' '
22nd and Exchange Street
PILES CURED IN 6 TO 14 DAYS.
PAZO OINTMENT is guaranteed
to cure any case , of Itching, Blind,
Bleeding or Protruding Pilei 6 to
14 days or money refunded. 50c, "
HOUSE MOVERS.
FREDR1CKSON BROS.-W make
a specialty of house moving, car
penters, contractors,- general Jobbing;
prompt attention to all orders. Corner-Tenth
and Duane streets, h
OSTEOPATHS.
DR. RHODA C. HICKS
Osteopath
Office Mansell Bldg. Phone Black 2061
S"3 Commercial St., Astoria, Ore.
LAUNDRIES.
Those Pleated Bosom Shirts
The kind known by dressy men in
the summer, are difficult articles to
launder nicely. Unless you know just
how to do it, the front pleats won't
iron down smooth, and the shirt
front will look mussy. Our New
Press Ironer irons them without
rolling or stretching. Try it
TROY LAUNDRY,
Tenth and Duane. Phone Main 1991
MASSAGING.
Massaging
IN ALL ITS, BRANCHES; WARM
baths if necessary; thorough com
petency is assured.
MRS. M. HEYNO,
87 W. Bond Street, Astoria.
FURNITURE.
Hildebrand & Gor
HOUSE-CLEANING TIME.
We sell Liquid Veneer, Jap-a-Lac,
Linoleum Varnish, the three greatest
furniture and floor renovators known. !
Go-cart rubber tires renewed. Cur'
tain stretchers sold or rented. '
HOTELS.
HOTEL OXFORD
Sixth and Oak Strs., Portland, Ore.
1 .CANADIAN PACIFIC
.... , . . , . . "IMPitMr Lino of UioAtlantlo
A strictly modern hotel In center 1 .
of business district; suites with or LESSTHAN FOUR DAYS AT SEA
without private baths, running hot During he summer season, the
and cold water in every room; plenty Empresses sail from Quebec to Liver
of free baths. Rates $1.00, $1.50 and pool; fast and luxurious. Nine hun
$2.00. I dred miles in sheltered waters of the
VICTOR BRANDT, Prop. j St Lawrence River and Gulf. Short
ocean trip. Use this route and avoid
HOTEL PORTLAND " Summer sailing? list and tn nnm
Finest Hotel In the Northwest
PORTLAND, ORE.
European Plan Only.
H. C BOWERS, Manager.
CABINET MAKERS.
New Upholstering
Shop
First-class work guaranteed. Up
holstering and cabinet work nicely
and neatly done. Furniture of all
kinds repaired. Prices right
164 8th St., bet Coml. and Duane Sts.
J. H. BOWLSBY.
FISH MARKET.
Seattle fisi Market
77 Ninth St., . near Bond
Fresh and Salted Fish,
Game aud Poultry,
Groceries, Produce and Fruit
Imported and Domestic
, ; . Goods. : j
P. Bakotitch & Feo, Proprs.
Phone Red 2183
WINES 'AND LIQUORS
.
tagie toncert nail
(320 Astor Street) ,
Rooms for re"nt by the day, week, or
month. Best' rates in, town.
P. A. PETERSON, Prop.
PLUMBERS.
! IJiflliEfil
PLUMBER '
fleating Contractor Tinner
. -AND- '
- Sheet Iron Worker
UL WORK GUARANTEED
. 425 Bond Street. ,
U2IDKSTAOS3,
isssstxe'siVtMi
J. A, GILBAUail & CO.,
Undertakers and ISmlmlmers.
BiperlcNCed iLadr Ansiitint
When laired.
Calls Promptly Attended Day
or Night.
Tatton Ildff, 12th and DnaucHts
ASTORIA, OUE.UON
Phone Main 21 il
TRANSPORTATION.
The HKM Wn
PASSENGERS FREIGHT
Steamer - Lurlinc
Night Boat for Portland and
Way Landings. 1
Leaves Astoria daily except Sunday
it 7 p. m.
Leaves Portland Daily except Sunday
at 7 a, m.
Quirk Service Excellent Meals
Good Berths
- mmm .,
Landing Astoria Flavel Wharf.
Landing Portland Foot Taylor St
O. B. BLESSING, Agent
Phone Main 2761.
TRANSPORTATION.
ready.
Apply to any Ticket Agent or
j James Finlayson, Agent, Astoria, Or.
;0,.,:SPiCE5i',,in
COFrEEJEA,
DAIfllJO POVDER.
FircnGExmcrs
i
MEDICAL.
Unprecedented
Suooessee' of
THE GREAT 1,11
CHIJ(ESS DOCTOR
- Who PU'.:, known
thronghont the United
States, on account of
Ms wonderful, onrti.
o pmaona oT aruss used. Ha num.
;" -a
throat trouble, rheumatltm.
stomaoh,-river and kidney, female com
plaints and all ohronie diseases.
SUCCESSFUL HOME TREATMEHT.
If you cannot call write for symptom
blank and eireular, Inclosing 4 oents la
stamps. . ., ..,' .'
THE C. GEE WO MEDICDri CO.
12 First St., Corner Morrison,
j PORTLAND, ORBGOK.
Please mention th Aitorka.
URINARY
DISCHARGES
BELIEVED IN
24 nouns
Each Cap.
mile bear (MID
me nnmef-
Smart Qfcotinlerftitt
'I',
AIX DBU0OI8T8
lUi;
fvil
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