6
:j.T?T?iV?TV!XVWmr THE MORNING ASTORIAN. ASTORIA, OREGO N.
TUESDAY. MARCH S, 1909.
By Advice of a Lawyer,
)' ' ' ' ' ' h' i '0
- ' I
I
er, and Lawyer Taylor weut Dae n
his office ami rcalinni that he bad had
hia chance and was not equal to the
occasion. M. QUAD.
The clrcoa and menagerie of Jonea &
3 ones was comma that way. The
greater part of its menagerie consisted
of the elephant Abdul, and Abdul had
become old and Irritable and no longer
aw things with the frlsklnesa of other
cays. He was being most carefully
.watched when the show arrived at
Oementsvllle.
The season had not been profitable
one for Jones & Jones. They had had
to offer SO cents on the dollar to their
creditors at the last three stands, and
,when the exhibition at Clementsvllle
was over they could not pay certain
farmers for oats, hay end straw. One
of the farmers, and the largest cred
itor, refused to take a note of band.
Gift claim was for 140, and he rushed
4e see a lawyer about It Mr. Taylor
was the lawyer. The two or three oth
ers in town happened to be out of their
.offices. , The great opportunity had
eome at last The fourteen years of
.waiting was to be repaid.
"lour claim is good, and all we bare
.to do la to attach something," was the
lawyer's announcement "As the ele
phant is the biggest and most valuable
thing they have, we wU attach him.
,The circus must have him. It wont
more on without him. lour case will
fee settled within an boor after we at
itachMm." . The elephant was attached. There
(was a lank and disconsolate looking
cassowary with the show, but he was
passed by. There was a lonely and de
jected dromedary, with lis lonely and
dejected humps, but that attachment
.was not for him. Abdul was the vic
tim and was duly attached.
The constable saw the farmer cred
itor, and arrangements were made to
take Abdul out to the farm. He flg
ared that he was going to get a soft
thing, and, much to the astonishment
of the circus folk, he went along In a
contented manner and fit "y brought
ap In the farmer's barn. Then the real
history of the case began. Jones ft
Jones left town with smiles on their
faces. That meant that the suit would
have to be adjourned when called.
That meant that It would be ultimately
decided in the farmer's favor and that
he would find himself with an elephant
on his hands. Ee found that out even
within the first hour.
Abdul wanted from three to five bar-
rels of water to wet his throat It
took an hour to bring it from the
house. Then he wanted a Quarter ot
a ton of the best hay to eat and the
same amount to toy with as he stood
up to meditate and feel sorry for those
elephants that were still knocking
around the country. Night had not
yet come when he took a fancy to a
certain beam In the barn and wrapped
als trunk around It and pulled it from
Its. place and used it for a baseball
bat Then he tore out the manger and
used the slivers for toothpicks and
went to bed happy. The farmer con
sulted the lawyer again, and the law
yer was primed with information. Be
had been making elephants a study
for the last four hours.
Tea, all the cost of Abdul's keep and
all the damage be did while in the
hands of the law would be assessed on
Jones & Jones when the case was de
cided against them, as It surely must
be. Just go right back home and give
that elephant whatever he wanted and
It would be all right"
Abdul had been chained on the open
floor of the barn. On the second day
of bis stay he broke bis chains and
pulled a ton of hay from the mow and
walked over it until it was hardly fit
to bed the bogs with.
. He wanted a small drink, and when
the farmer cut him off with five bar
rels of water he trumpeted until he
scared farmers for two miles around
and then beoke up the fanning mill,
the corn shelter and some stray boards
and beams. The lawyer was notified,
and he came riding out to the farm on
a bike to say:
"Very irregular and improper on the
part of Abdul, but of course Jones &
Jones will settle. They must settle.
They must have him with their show."
On the third day Abdul demanded
seven barrels of water, half a ton of
hay and most of the pumpkins grow
ing on the farm and then broke down
the doors and piled the fragments In a
neat heap and set out on a voy
age of discovery. He discovered the
smokehouse and chicken coop and dai
ry house and upset them. He discover
ed the family well and yanked the
'pump out by the roots and threw it
over , the house. He discovered the
house itself and smashed all the win
dows and doors. Then he passed into
the orchard and pulled up twenty-one
big apple trees to show that he was
no bluffer. He had leveled forty rods
of fence and torn down a wagon sbed
and tossed a reaper and mower sky
high when he , decided, to seek the
shade of the cool forest On his way
there he entered a big mudhole to take
a bath and met his fate by drowning.
The lawyer' came out and said that
Abdul's proceedings could be legally '!
criticised, but that there was no ques
tion as to ,how,thftsult.-would go.
There w wasn't Jones , & . Jones came
back and won It and made the county
pay tbem f 7,000. for the loss of their
elephant while in the hands of a duly
elected constable. And then Jones &
Jones, the clown, the bareback riders,
the tight rope walker and other circus
neonie smfled and wissd at escS otn-
EC2EMA NOW CURABLE.
All Itching Skin Diseases Which Are
Not Hereditary Instantly Reliev
ed by Oil of Wintergreen.
Can Eczema be cured?
Some physicians say "Yes,"
Some say "No."
The real question is, "What is
meant by Eczema?" If you mean those
scaly eruptions, those diseases which
make their first appearance, not at
birth, but years afterward, and per
haps not until middle age then there
can no longer be any question that
these forms of Eczema are curable.
Simple vegetable oil of wintergreen.
mixed with other vegetable ingred
ients, will kill the germs that infest
the skin. Apply this prescription to
the skin, and instantly that awful itch
is gone. The very moment the liquid
is applied, that agonizing, tantalizing
itch disappears, and continued appli
cations of this external remedy soon
cure the disease.
We carry in stock this oil of win
tergreen properly compounded into
D. D. D. Prescription. While we are
not sure that it will cure all those
cases of skin trouble which are in
herited, we positively know that this
D. D. D. Prescription, whenever
rightly used, will cure every last
case of genuine Eczema or other skin
trouble, which did not exist at birth.
We know this. Anyway you, your
self, will know that D. D. D. Pre
scription instantly takes away the itch
the moment it is applied to the skin.
Chas. Rogers & Son, druggists. , Stop
that itch today instantly. Just call
at our store and try this refreshing
and soothing liquid; also ask about
D. D. D. Soap.
SURGEONS' CHARGES.
Method by Which, it It 8aid, the Pees
Are Regulated.
Frequently laymen who have had oc
casion to settle the bills of surgeons
upon whom they have called in ex
tremities to use the knife are heard
to complain against what they call
the exorbitant charges of surgeons."
A skilled surgeon may charge "$2o0
for a simple appendicitis operation.
The patient who never thinks of com
plaining until he is convalescent ob
jects oftentimes to paying the bill.
He says, "It Is outrageous for a sur
geon to charge $250 for half an hour's
work. 1
The question of surgeons' fees often
puzzles a patient He knows of one
man upon whom a surgeon. of wide
reputation has operated and charged
only $75. He may know of another
whohaa paid SI, 000 for the same op
eration. 1 He cannot figure it out
Yet surgeons of known ability and
national, perhaps International, fame
have a general plan in charging for
operations. Their prices range from
nothing to $3,000. They will operate
without any question of willingness or
ability to pay in any case where the
situation is imperative. Afterward
they will present the bill. The genera!
public does not understand how a sur
geon will charge one man $50, anoilic:
$250 and another $5,000. f
Surgeons have a fixed price scheme
They aim to charge the patient about
one month's income. They figure that
any person who is In such bad condi
tion as to be forced to submit to a
Burglcal operation surely can afford t)
give one month's Income. They ascer
tain roughly what a man makes per
month and send In a bill for that
amount The man whose Income In
but $50 a month pays $50. The man
who gets $5,000 is asked to pay $5,000
and generally objects, even though
be should know that his life is worth
as much proportionately as that of his
poorer fellows-Chicago Tribune.
C L, A SS I F I E D A
SEMENTS.
HELP WANTED MALE.
WANTED - MANAGER; GOOD
salary; exeprience not necessary;
for Astoria branch office of large
Portland real estate firm; small capi
tal required; we furnish large list and
teach you the business; for full par
ticulars address Manager, 242 Fifth
street, Portland. " S-l-7t
HELP WANTED FEMALE.
WANTED GIRL FOR GENERAL
housework. Mrs. G. Ziegler, 314
Seventeenth street , 3-J-tf.
WANTED -GOOD COOr FOR
general housework; three in family;
no washing nor ironing; $25 per
month. Phone or address Mrs. F. W.
Phisterer, Fort Columbia, Wash.
WANTED-TO RENT.
WANTED-SMALL HOUSE AD
dress "K." Astorian. '3-3-3t.
FOR REIT.
FOR RENT Furnished rooms, also
furnished housekeeping rooms. En
quire 267 ISth street corner Ex
change. 2-28-6t
FOR RENT 2 UNFURNISHED
office rooms, near court house. Ia
quire 386 Commercial street, up
stairs. 27-tt
FOR RENT OR FOR SALE-NINE
room house, cor. Jerome and 17th
streets. Apply to Capt. Fcrchen,
330 17th street. 2-2tf.
FOR SALE.
FOR SALE-THE STOCK AND
fixtures of a general store located a
few miles from Astoria; very clean
stock, and will invoice about 17000.
Particulars at
WESTERN REALTY CO.
ONE HUNDRED-ROOM HOTEL
lor saie; aoing a spicnaia Business;
good opportunity for a first-class
hotel man.
WESTERN REALTY CO.
FOR SALE-ONE-QUARTER OR
one-half interest in a summer re
sort hotel doing a fine business; over
100 rooms and always engaged 'way
ahead.
WESTERN REALTY CO.
Lane's Family Medicine cannot save
all doctor bills, but can save a good
share of them. One two-shilling pack
age has kept a whole family in good
health for a year.
FOR SALE-THE FURNITURE
of a large lodging house; rooms
always full; low rent
WESTERN REALTY CO.
MONEY TO LOAN.
MONEY TO LOAN ON GOOD
security, at Scandinavian-American
Savings Bank, Astoria.
Money to loan on good security.
Scandinavian-American Savings Bank.
IN ONE OR MANY COLORS
LARGEST FACILITIES
IN THE WEST FOR
THE PRODUCTION OF
HIOH GRADE WORK
ItTtl At 10W At IAITUI ROBSII
J.-JUn.yJl&V.i.Kt
SITUATION WANTED.
SITUATION WANTED BY A
young lady of experience, a position
as stenographer; has own machine.
Apply this office. 2-5-3t.
PROFESSIONAL CARDS.
ATTORNEYS-AT-LAW
CHARLES H. ABERCROMBIE
Attorney-at-Law
City Attorney Offices: City Hall
JOHNCMcCUE
Attorney-at-Law
Deputy District Attorney,
) Page Building, Suite 4.
HOWARD M. BROWNELL
Attorney-at-Law
Office with Mr. J. A. Eakin, at 420
Commercal St, Astoria.
DENTISTS
DR. VAUOHAN
Dentist
Pythiaa Building, Astoria, Oregon
Tommy's Choice.
Little Tommy Whacken was taken
by his mother to choose a pair of
knickerbockers, and his choice fell on
pair to which a card was attached
stating, "These can't be beaten."
Current Literature.
More than two-thirds of your life
you wear shoes. . Did you ever think
of that?
The Dr. A. Reed
Cushion Shoe
Was built to give your feet comfort
two-thirds of your life; the rest you
sleep.
nnijuf jib
try the following delightful dessert:
i cup English Walnut meats.
1 doz. figs, cut up fine.
1 10c. package JELL-O, any flavor.
Dissolve the JELL-0 in a oint of
boiling water. When cool and just
commencing to thicken stir in the figs
ana nuts, berve with Whipped Cream.
Delicious. The walnuts, figs and
JELL-0 can be bought at any good
grocery. This makes enough dessert
for a large family and is very econom-
The W. L. Douglas
Shoe
Has a world-wide reputation,
one and be op to date,,
Wear
DR. W. C LOGAN
Dentist '
Commercial St Shanahan Bldg.
OSTEOPATHS.
DR. RHODA C HICKS
Osteopath
Office Mansell Bldg. Phone Black 2061
S3 Commercial St., Astoria, Ore.
BUSINESS DIRE0TOEY
HOUSE MOVERS.
FREDR1CKSON BROS. We make
a specialty of house moving, car
Pinters, contractors, general jobbing;
prompt attention to all order. , Cor
ner Tenth and Dunne streets.
HOTELS.
NORTHERN HOTEL
Astoria's Newest and Best Hotel
Eleventh and Duane Streets
Rooms, Single or en Suite, Steam
Heated, Baths, Running Water in
Every Room.,
Rates, 50c' to $150; Special by
Week. Phone Main 3911.
MRS. J. COLLINS, Manager.
HOTEL OXFORD
Sixth and Oak Strs., Portland, Ore.
A strictly modern hotel in center
of business district; suites with or
without private baths, running hot
and cold water in every room; plenty
of free bath. Rates $1.00, $1.50 and
$2.00.
VICTOR BRANDT, Prop.
HOTEL PORTLAND
Finest Hotel in the Northwest
PORTLAND, ORE.
European Plan Only.
H. C. BOWERS, Manager.
FISH MARKET.
RESTAURANTS.
Columbia
Restaurant
3381 Bond St, Cor. 8th and Boao.
First-Class Meals.
Reasonable Prices.
Our Special Dishes.
Noodles and Chop Suey.
Everything First-class.
YEE YICK, Manager.
TOKIO RESTAURANT.
351 Bond Street
Opposite Ross, Higgins & Co.
Coffee with Pie or Cake 10 Cta. .
FIRST-CLASS MEALS
Regular Meals 15 Cta. and Up.
TJ. 8. RESTAURANT.
434 Bond Street
Coffee with Pie or Cake, 10 Cta,
First-Class Meals, IS Cta,
FURNITURE.
Hildebrand & Gor
Our clearing sale runs
the year through.
BARGAINS AT ANY TIME
467 Commercial Street.
MASSAGING.
Massaging
IN ALL ITS BRANCHES; WARM
baths if necessary; thorough com
petency is assured.
MRS. M. HEYNO,
87 W. Bond Street Astoria.
LAUNDRIES.
Those Pleated Bosom Shirts
The kind known by dressy men in
the summer, are difficult articles to
launder nicely. Unless you know just
how to do it, the front pleats won't
iron down smooth, and , the shirt
front will look mussy. Our New
Press Ironer irons them without
rolling or stretching. Try it
TROY LAUNDRY,
Tenth and Duane. Phone Main 1991
CABINET MAKERS.
icaL
S. A. GIMRE
543 BOND STREET.
Opposite Fisher Bros. ,
Best kinds of logging shoes, ban
I made, always on hand.
Hew Upholstering
Shop
,j First-class work guaranteed. Up
holstering and cabinet work ; nicely
and neatly done. Furniture of all
kinds repaired. Prices right
164 8th St, bet Coml. and Duane Sts.
J. H. BOWLSBY.
eat
77 Ninth St., near Bond
Fresh and Salted Fish.
Game and Poultry.
Groceries, Produce and Fruit
Imported and Domestic
Goods.
P. Bakotitch & Feo, Proprs.
Phone Red JIM
WINES AND LIQUORS.
Eagle Concert Hall
(320 Astor Street)
, i
Room for rent by the day, week, or
month. Best rate in town.
P. A. PETERSON, Prop.
j. A,r a ilhauo ii co.,
(Undertakers ami KnihiWmer)
J2icirlnMl LimIv AmtlaMiit
When DuNlred.
vfftftw ......
CitflM Promptly AtteuOpd Day
or Night.
Tuttoti Ddff. 1 at band Diuu8ta
ASTOUIA. OUE.UON
Phone Alain Still
eJi-"::rir---iiiJiiliT',i''r"N
PLUMBERS. : 1
ill
.1
PLUMBER
Heating Contractor, Tinner
AND
Sheet Iron Worker
ALL WORK GUARANTEED
425 Bond 8treet
BOAT BUILDER,
T, L. Driscolli
BOATBUILDINO AND REPAIR.
INO A SPECIALTY.
22nd and Eichange Street
TRANSPORTATION.
, The "iV'llne
PASSENGERS FREIGHT
h.lil
MEDICAL.
Unpreeeueated
Sueeestes'ef .
DH1EV0
TBI ORIAT '
CHINES! D0CT01
Who : Is known
rAinrouRoouiuie unueu
4y States oa aooeunt of
'JUL ua woixicn ui dims.
No poisons or drugs usee Be guaran
tees to eure eatai-rb, asthma, lung aad
taroat trouble, rheumatism, aerrousness,
stomach, 11m and kidney, female com
plalntt and all chronic diseases.
SUCCESSFUL , H0MS TREATMENT.
If you cannot call write for symptom
blank and circular, Inclosing 4 cents la
stamps.
TEE C GEE WO MID1CIN1 CO.
1621 First 8t, Corner Morrison,
PORTLAND, OREGON.
Please mention the Astorian. '
Steamer Luriine
Night Boit for Portland and
Way Landings.
Leaves Astoria daily except Sunday
at 7 p. m.
Leaves Portland Daily except Sunaay
at 7 a. m,
Quirk Service Excellent Meals
Good Berths
Landing Astoria Flavel Wharf.
Landing Portland Foot Taylor St
O. B. BLESSING, Agent -'
Phone Main 2761.
TRANSPORTATION.
CANADIAN PACIKIO
tTkIPRI Lino of thoAtJantlS
LESS THAN FOUR DAYS AT SEA
During the summer season, the
Empresses sail from Quebec to Liver
pool; fast and luxurious. Nine hun
dred miles in sheltered waters of the
St Lawrence River and Gulf. Short
ocean trip. Use this route and avoid
ica newness.
Summer sailing lists and rates now
ready.
Apply to any Ticket Agent, or
James Finlayson, Agent, Astoria, Or.
TRANSPORTATION.
TIME CARD
Astoria & Columbia River R. R. Co.
Effective, Sunday, January 2fl, 1908-Pacific Time.
ssr
11.40
12.01
105;
12.2
u.ao
a.m.
8.16
Iff
a.m.
12
8
9.18
8.48
.4
S.46
8.48;
1.65
.18
t.8C
.ra
p.m.
10.18
10.25
10.80
a.m.
t.so
s
TIT
20
t.m
6. aii
t.29
6.89
TBI
7.11
7.20
7.25
p.m.
24
p.m.
S.00
7.ai
7.8S
7.M
S.07
1.66
.W
a.m.
8.00
.1S
.m
.67
10.05
10.15
10.8A
10.61
11 60
11.66
u.isl
IS. 44
12.S6
1.00
p.m
tv,V.".
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I,.., ..wanjruui,
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Ar ...... ,.A8TORUt Lv
U ASTORIA aJ
Ar. WARKKNTON......L
tv WAfiRKOT6N....:;ArT
Ar. FT. HTKVENH Lv 110
Lv,... FT. STEVENS ...,.Ar ......
HAMMOND.. ...,..
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Lv,.,... WARtttlSNtOlC
111
P.m
12.15
10.66
10.40
10.16
10.06
9.62
9.81
1.16
(.20
(.16
7.A6
1H
7.46
7.4
7.41
7.88
7.2
p.m.
10.00
(.401
8.36
7.69
7.60
7.40
7.19
7.04
(.10
5.601
6.861
Ar...
....OEABHART.
hoLladay.!....
TW
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6 46
la. m.
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6.00
4.66
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8
&
1.46
2.201
t:mi
2.08,
t.oo
12.80
12 26
12.161
TOS
10.6
10.46
10.85
a.m,
a.m
u.oo
10.40l
10,16
9 481
9.40
9.861
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ip.m.
o
I
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3.80
9.10
19.871X10
10.80 9 03
0.27 .
10.28
10.10
Trains mrked run dally. , fTdegraph Offloe,
Nos. 26 and 28 run from Astoria to Clatiinn noM, .,u r c... . ,
V$V$?& ?.Att nd Cla-t9P Beach direct; No 24 run. from !
ronmnu 10 njwrn omy. ino. ou runs trom Astoria to Clatsop Beach direct
Nos. Zl. a and zv run via Ft. Steven Wn ?i ((! fMM A. 9
to Astoria and Portland direct ,7 ' "um v,a"P ."CB
' . Connections At Portland, with. nil trgn..ni;n...i i.v.. i. . ..
with Northern Pacific Railway Company. At Astoria with iteamera W
Francisco and Tillamook and Ilwaco Riilwav & SIS M!""!?
and railway. , ' -v.F, . OOBl ,
iJ!&$lXS frm 8" POint, ,n the E"' '"d Z' F" ;
O. B. UHNSON, General Agent, 12th and Commercial, Astoria, Or. ;