8
THE MORNING ASTORIAN, ASTORIA, OREGON.
FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 21, IMS.
Wo ore Headquarters for all kinds
Flower and Garden
Extra Choice Variety of Sweet Peas, all Colors
" , and Nasturtiums.
PLOT
FRUSTRATED
A. V. ALrUEN
Bbanch Uniontov
Phone Mab 713
Phonm :
ir.m 711. Main 2871 t
Sob agent for Baker's Barrington mail steei vm iwran.
UNCLE TOk &Otes HORSE.
But The Man Who Bought it Pro
' bably Wished He Hadnt
Uncle Tom Parker, who recently
made one oi his periodical visits to
town, tells with great glee of his ex
perience in selling a horse.
It seems that he had a white horse
that he" didn't need particularly, and
not finding a 'ready sale for the ani
mal, he put a little "For Sale" adver
tisement in the newspaper and waited
lor results. t " .
1 White horses do not seem to be in
much demand, as it was several days
before Uncle Tom saw any signs of a
purchaser. ,
One evening, however, a stranger
came in Uncle Tom's gate, looking
up at the house and then at a copy of
a newspaper which he held in his
band. This stranger wore his coat
collar well turned op about his throat
and a slouch hat pulled down over his
face. . ! . . '
He looked as if he was worn out
from fatigue, and from the appear
ance of the paper which he carried it
was a copy he had picked up along
the road, as it was torn and soiled.
Uncle Tom showed him the horse,
and after some dickering about a
saddle and bridle, which the stranger
thought Uncle Tom ought to throw
in, they struck a bargain, and the new
owner of the horse mounted him and
rode away in what seemed like con
siderable haste.
It so happened that someone had
stolen a white horse in a neighbor
tng country, and a handbill had been
circulated throughout that part of the
country asking the officers of the law
to watch for the horse and arrest the
thief.
When the stranger struck a nearby
town, a lynx-eyed sheriff spied him
and jumped at the natural but not
necessarily correct conclusion that
this must be the stolen horse and the
thief whose apprehension had been
asked.'- So he arrested him and lock
ed him up, notwithstanding his pro
testation that he had that very day
bought the white horse from Uncle
Tom Parker.
The next morning the sheriff sent
for Uncle Tom, and when the prison
er was arraigned jn court, w was
promptly made plain that he had told
the truth and that the horse was his
own property,
1 But while the necessary prelimin
aries to his release were under way,
Uncle Tom called the sheriff aside
and said, "Say, Sheriff, now that I
see that mans face clearly, I re
member him. About ten years ago,
down in Fenwick I was on a jury
Mrs. Fowler's
Free Lectures
..At Astoria Theatre beginning
Friday, Feb. 28, 8 p. m., "Electricity,
the Great Elixir of Life," to all;
Sunday, March 1, 2:30 p. m., to alL
Phrenological examinations and
health consultations given daily at
Occident Hotel, from 9 a. m. to 9
p. m., till March 11th. Her classes
on the use of electricity to cure dis
ease will begin March 3rd at 2:30 and
7:30 p. m.
O"--' SPICES, o
CCFFEE,TEA,
BAffiF 20 POWDER,
ihtfuftPurfty.'' Finest Flavor.
POWrtAKDtOCZSOM.
that convicted him of burglary and
he was sent away for the crime. !'
"What was his namer, asked the
sheriff.
"The name he went under then was
Michael Thompson."
Michael Thompson," exclaimed
the sheriff, excitedly. "Why, that
fellow was only let out of state's
prison recently, and he immediately
burglarized a bank, getting away
with a large sum of money and secur
ities. There's $5,000 reward for that
fellow, and I guess he doesn't get
away from us. Not much!
So the sheriff once more gathered
Mr Thompson in, but this time with
more satisfactory results to every
body except that unlucky individual
Uncle Tom and the sheriff divided the
reward between them, and in telling
the story, the former said, with a sat
isfied grin. "That Tor Sale' ad cost
me eighty cents, and as a result I
sold a horse ' saddle and bridle for
$150 and got $2500 on the side. I was
aays a firm believer in advertising,
but if this don't make a new record
I lose my guess."
Whether you believe in advertising
or not, you ought to try the classified
advertising columns of the Morning
Astorian. The results are prompt
and sure and the experiment costs
but little.
If you have anything to sell or let,
if you wish to buy, rent or exchange,
if you want to hire help or get a posi
tionno 'matter what your want is
advertise it in the Astorian, and you
will reach thousands of interested
people in a manner most certain to
produce quick results. . ;.
A BOWL OF BITTER TEA.
Himalayan Hospitality ' In a Snow
.., Envopd Ho vol. : . "
In spite of a poverty which limits
their good Intentions the Inhabitants
of central and south central Asia dis
play a charming hospitality. Such, at
least, is the impression gained from
Mr. Ellsworth Hnntington'8 book, "The
Pulse of Asia."
At Matayan, a village in the prov
ince of Ladakh, the habitable portion
of the upper Indus valley, a friendly
villager Invited Mr. Huntington to dive
down from the crust which covered
eight or ten feet of snow Into a one
story bouse. This was at an elevation
of 10,500 feet
Although it was April 11, the snow,
even on a level, was higher than the
tops of the bouses. Where it bad been
shoveled off the flat roofs it formed
high banks, protecting them from the
wind and making them the favorite
sitting room at that season and even
In winter, for the sunshine Is always
warm in that dry, cloudless climate.,
When the little black cows bad beeu
driven and pulled out of the way Mr.
Huntington descended to an almost
closed shed used for the two or three
hardy sheep and goats and was usher
ed, stooping, into a dark stable con
taining a little pony, shaggy, like all
the animals. Bending low once more,
he climbed over a bigb sill and was In
the warm, close family living room.
Light and air came in through a bole
In the roof a foot square surmounted
by a chimney pot a foot high made of
three stones set up to keep out the
snow, A few bits of, .ragged cloth on
the mud floor for sleeping purposes, a.
half dozen metal utensils and an iron
pot full of Himalayan tea, kept warm
over some embers, comprised all the
visible equipment for housekeeping. '
After the hxt bad persuaded Mr.
Huntington to take a seat on the floor
a half palsied old woman Insisted upon
ladling out for him a bowl of tea. It
was surprisingly good In view of the
fact that a poor grade of tea leaves
bad been steeped half an hour or more
with milk, butter, salt and soda.' In
richer houses Mr. Huntington was
often served with tea which had been
Improved by being churned violently
in a slender, greasy black churn, twen
ty Inches long by four in diameter, in
order to mix the rancid butter well
into the compound before it was turn
ed into the drinking bowls.
Plot to Murder Chicago Priest
Accidentally Discovered.
FATHER RENZULL0 SELECTED
The First Information of the Planned
Chicago Assassination Wat Given
Father Reniullo in a Letter From
an Italian in Chicago Heights.
CHICAGO. Feb. 27.-A plot to
murder a Chicago priest at the altar
of his church just as Father Leo
Heinrichs of Denver was slainwas
hatched in Chicago and frustrated
almost by chance, according to the
Rev. Father E. M. Dunne, chancellor
of the archdiocese. "
" This information was given out by
Father Dunne yesterday to prove
further his contention that the mur
der in St Elizabeth's chnrch in Den
ver was planned by anarchistic anti-
clericals in Chicago. The murder in
Denver was similar in every respect
to' the one planned several months
nrevious. in which the Rev Father
Pasquale Renzullo, pastor of St
Roch's Church at Chicago, was to be
the victim. 5 '.' ;
Father Dunne will hold a confer
ence today with Chief of Police
Shippy asking for certain arrests.
United States District Attorney
Sims and Wm. E. Stuart, chief of
postoffice inspectors, looking toward
the prosecution of editors of Italian
newspapers ' in which denunciatory
items against clergy of the city were
made.' Charges of criminal libel may
also be made. Father Renzullo was for
a time chancellor Dunne's assistant
at the Guardian Angel (Italian)
Church on Forquer street The first
information of the planned Chicago
assassination was given Father Ren-
zulo in a letter from an Italian in
Chicago Heights. The name of this
man is held by Father Dunne, who
claims that should the informant be
known he would be found dead with
a dozen knives in him before 24 hours
had passed. The information secured
irom the writer of the letter as to
how the priest was to be killed was
given to Lee H. Hook, Mayor of Chi
cago Heights and the police were no
tified. Men were picked for the as
sassination but in some way they got
wind of the intended arrests and got
away., :
Still fearing that harm might come
to the pastor of the church two days
later Mayor Hook issued a permit
for Father Renzullo to carry a revol
ver. . '
FOR CERTAIN RELIEF
OF COUGHS AND COLDS
,Xhe formula as printed here
was given out by a prominent
doctor who has made a na-
tional reputation for his won-
derful skill in the cure of
throat and lung diseases. For
this purpose be uses almost
exclusively the new form of
pine product known to phyal-
cians and druggists as Con-
centrated oil of pine The for-
muta i at follows:
Half ounce of Concentrated
oil of pine, two ounces of
glycerine, half pint of good
whisky: mix these by shaking
them thoroughly and use in
doses of a teaspoonful to a
tablespoonful every four
hours, shaking the bottle welt
well each iime." " "...
The only care necessary is
to be sure to get the Concen-
trated oil of nine because re-
cently there have been mimer-
ous patent medicine imitations
put out These on account of
not being soluble are danger-
t ous, besides producing nausea.
The real "Concentrated" oil
of pine can be obtained of any
good prescription druggist and
comes put up for medical use
only in half-ounce vials ie-
curely sealed in tin screw-
top air-tight cases, which pro-
tect it from tight, and retain
all the original ozone.
One Good Turn, Sto,
Third Floor Tenant-See here! Vm
one of a committee of men In this
apartment; and I've called to ask you
to eell your flute. Second Floor. Ten
antDelighted . to see . you." I'm one
of another committee and was about
to go up and. ask; you if : you'd sell
your baby. Llpplncott'a.
Ask Yourself the Question.
Why not use Chamberlain's Pain
Balm when you have rheumatism?
We feel sure that the result will be
prompt and satisfactory. One appli
cation relieves the pain, and many
have been permanently cured by its
use. 25 and 50 cent sizes. For sale
by Frank Hart and leading druggists.
LAUGHTER ANALYZED.
The Observations of a Man With a
8emitivo Ear.
"Of course you have heard," said the
man with a sensitive ear, "a laugh
that Jarred. I don't mean," he contln
ned, "so much a laugh at an Inoppor
tune time I Imagine we have all heard
sncb laughs as a laugh the quality of
which Is unpleasant There Is some
thing contagions, In laughter of the
right kind, even though you may, be
the object of it It bubbles from the
well of good burner. There Is no hid
den thought, or 'arrlere pensee,' as the
French say, behind It. It la the es
sence of frankness; It is spontaneous
and whole souled, and It cleanses the
system of the laughter and, too, of the
bearer, like a spiritual bath. ' ' ' "
"But there are other kinds of laugh
ter, The sneering laugh is perhaps the
most familiar. Then there Is a quiet
laugh, a sibilant, secretive sort of laugh
that Is quite as certain to mean mis
chief. Another laugh, disagreeable in
its nature, is the high pitched, nervous
cachlnnatlon that comes either from em
barrassment or Is a mere vocal bablt
The worst laugh of all, however,, to
my mind, is that mirthless sound pro
voked by the distress or embarrass
ment of others, and it rasps naturally
most of all the object calling it forth.
A person laughed at and hurt never
forgets the experience." New. York
Press. - - - ;
CASTOR I A
for jianii, vjuurmj,tW
The M You Kan Ahcsjs Bcs$t
Bears the
Signature of
SURGEONS' CHARGES.
Method by Which, It la Said, the Pets
')' Are Rtgulattd. (.?,.
Frequently laymen who have had oc
casion to settle the bills of surgeons
upon whom they have called in ex
tremlties to use the knife are heard
to complain against what they call
"the exorbitant charges of surgeons."
A skilled surgeon may charge $250
for a simple sppeudlcitls operation
The patient who never thluks of com
plaining until be la convalescent ob
jects oftentimes to paying the bill.
He says, "It la outrageous for a sur
geon to charge $230 tor half an hour's
work."
The question of surgeons' fee often
pussies a patient He knows of one
man upon whom a surgeon of wide
reputation baa operated and charged
only 175. Ha may know of another
who baa paid $1,000 for the same op
eration. He cannot figure It out
let surgeons of known ability and
national, perhaps International, fame
have a general plan in charging for
operations. Their prices range from
nothing to $.1,000. They will operate
without any qnestion of willingness or
ability to pay in any case where the
situation Is imperative. Afterward
they will present the bill. The general
public does not understand bow a sur
geon will charge one man $00, another
$250 and another $5,000. ,..--
Surgeons have a fixed price scheme.
They aim to charge the patient about
one month's Income. They figure that
any person who Is la such bad condi
tion as to be forced to submit to a
surgical operation surely can afford to
give one mouth's income. Tbey ascer
tain roughly what a man makes per
month and send In a bill for that
amount The man whose income I
but $50 a month pays $50. The man
who gets $5,000 Is asked to pay $5,000
-and generally objects, even thoogti
be should know that bis life Is worth
as much proportionately as that of hla
poorer fellow.-Cblcago Tribune. ;
Compulsory Education.
"I never thought blm very bright
but be certainly has a splendid educa
tion." "Well you see, he lost one of his
legs, and he couldn't go into athletics,
so be just bad to study at college."
Houston Post
DRAMATIC SCENE
! , ill ,ij,k'Ht'V . -; itt.U4li)i
" i T. ,At !
Wordy Battle Between Indian
Senators.
THE FIVE CIVILIZED TRIBES
Curtli of Kansas Taunted His Fellow
Indian With the Statement That
he Was Under the Control of the
Secretary of the Interior. , ,
WASHINGTON, Feb, 27-A high
ly dramatic scene in which two sena
tors with Indian blood in their veins
and members of former Indian tribes
carried on an animated and acrimon
bus debate marked the proceedings
in the Senate today.
Owen, the member of the Cherokee
nation fought by means of a wordy
battle to have the word "late" placed
before the designated "Five civilised
tribes" declaring that he wanted to
record the death of old tribal rela
tbnl ' V V; .
Curtis of Kansas, who Is part of the
Kaw Indians taunted his fellow In
dian with the statement that he was
under the control of the secretary of
the interior and then there ensued a
wordy battle that entertained both
senators and visitors. When ; the
Senate voted it was against the con
tention of Owen,
McCreary spoke on currency bill
and after further consideration of the
Indian bill the Senate adjourned
Diabetes, ,
; WM peases, :
Bladder Troubles,
I Liver Complaint, i
M . . St ' '
nflieestion,,
, Too Much Port, ' '
Captain (to the man at the wheel)
Another point a-port quartermaster.
Lady Passenger-Goodness gracious!
That's the second pint of port he bus
called for within a few minutes! .' How
those captains drink! London Tele
graph, ''.'
,it The Stomal Tip.
It Is as foolish to attempt to stop
tipping as to oppose the ocean tide.
Tips will never' be suppressed. The
word may lie changed, but the thing
will not disappear. 1 It is so hum in to
be generous.-Par!s Journal; ' ' " r
( Tiiii ' ,1,1 - :;,f "Mi!
Eczema, tetter and salt rheum keep
their victims in perpetual torment
The - application of Chamberlain's
Salve will instantly allay this itching
and, many cases have been cured by
its seu. For, sale by Frank Hart and
leading 'druggists!, 3 ;,'
. GO TO FATHER.
When I asked her to wed, "Go to
father," she said.
And, she knew that I knew that her
father was dead. ,;
And she. knew that that I knew what
life he had led,
And, she knew tht'I knew what she
. mcnt when she said V .
, , "Go to Father."
Many Sleepless Nights, Owing to a
Persistent Cough,. Relief Found
at Last
"For several winters past my wife
has been troubled with a most penis
tent and diiaareeable cough, which
invariably extended over a period -of
several weeks and caused her many
sleepless nights," writes Will J. Hay
ner, editor of the Burley, Colo., Bui
letin. '"'r
"Various remedies were tried each
year, with no beneficial results. In
November last the cought again put
in an appearance and my wife, acting
on the susaestion of a friend, pur
chased a bottle of Chamberlain's
Cough Remedy. The result was In
deed marvelous. After three doses
the coue-h entirety disappeared and
has not manfiested itself since." This
remedy is for sale by Frank Hart
and leading druggists. ' ' ' '
DANTE'S j HUMOR.
i NIM I 'I"
It Is of tho Wholly Unconscious Kind
and Woefully Grim.
The humorous side of Dante Is ana'
lysed In the Westminster Bevtow by
Osorm Trobrldaw. who is a oreat ad'
f mirer of the famous poet and who has
In previous writings expressed bis ap
preciation of Dante as a nature poet
and as a novelist
Although Dante's great poem Is
"comedy," in the sense of being
drama working to a happy ending, we
do not look for ridiculous situations In
It such ss we uaually associate" with
the Idea of comedy. Ridiculous iltna
tions occur nevertheless, and there la
no lack of humor even In the poet's de
scription of the sufferings of the lost
Dante's humor, however, Is of the un
conscious kind, arising from , a total
lack of perception of the ludicrous. It
Is said that be was never seen to smile,
and we can, quite believe It since be
never forsakes sober seriousness in his
writings, and It Is his deadly earnest
ness that betrays him into occasional
comicality.
The sinners In hell, the poet tells ns,
are relegated to their proper quarters
on the Judgment of Minos, who indi
cates the particular circle to which the
culprit is consigned by wrapping his
tall so many times around his bestial
body. Fancy the trembling sinner
waiting to count the colls that be may
knoW'hls fate! rti '-?' .
It is a horrible punishment which Is
assigned to those guilty of simony, to
be burled bead downward In a circular
pit, with only the legs and feet pro
truding, while, nickering flames glide
oyer the soles of the latter, Inflicting
exquisite torture, yet our sense of' hu
mor is provoked by the description of
Dante standing over one of these boles
and holding a conversation with Its oc
cupant, "reversed, and ,i as i; t stake
driven in the soil,? while numberless
legs ' wriggle In continual motion
around. him, s f i H H''H
Fish 8parlng by Firelight.
In the sunny south In the blue wa
ters of the Mediterranean one may fre
quently behold the strange sight of
fishermen reaping a rich harvest with
the aid Of a long forklike instrument,
which is used in place of a net There
the ancient "peche aut flambeaux," a
singular custom of fishing at night by
the light of a blazing fire, still exists,
enabling hundreds of hardy tollers of
the deep ) to gain a livelihood. Wlilo
World Magazine.
sad all other dlsseees aristae treat
kldnov and bladder troubles sea bet
qulokly, yeraaaenttyv sad
ABSOLUTELY CURED
: Bvor sufferer treat any of sbese
'dread diseases ahouU learn a aaes
of the greatest eure kaowa t wm
en enease, . - w, t.i' :
HARWOTON'S
TABLETS
m MufofMd bv nhvslfllaM evert
iwaere, TWwiJ tte4e-
tbey wfll HTIXI.T CVtX TOO.
t Send 2 5 cents Today,
!for liberal box of these teaMta. OZ
your easy, .
l rm la CnftM sad seas f
f today..i . t.:--. :! ;f-v-".
i juuuawaw asnvui vt
Orasi lapses, Kk.
.''- -.MUlu't .W Ot Hit ' .If
Berlaston lisilwas 0a,
t Oraad RanUs, lOea. ""
V .:T . T" " 'it . a
I eMoae seats ret wim psoas
se&J, MUe prenaU, 1 box Bsrtef-
KrM ,..
tlfy Address ,.
Ky DnujgtsVa Ness ,
The Old Reliable
ess
Pain!
inicago
Dentists
Cor. Commercial and1 Eleventh fits.
ASTORIA, ORE.
, Phone 3901 ,
Headquarters
PORTLAND, ORE.
Are equipped to do aS kinds of
Dental work at very lowest prices.
Nervous people and those stHicted
with heart weakness may have no
fear of the dental chair.
22 K. crown..lM..l.......$3Q
Bridge work, per, tooth 3.00
Gold; fillings .. $1.00 op
Silver fillings. ........ ,30c to tlM
Best rubber plats, ....... ..,..$800
Aluminum-lino plate 310 to $13.00
x These offices are modern through
out We are able to do all work
absolutely painless. Our success Is
due to uniform high grade work by
gentlemanly operaiora having 10
toilS years- experience. Vegetable
Vapor, patented and used only by
us for painless extraction of teeth,
50c A binding guarantee given
with all workf or 10 years. Exami
nation ' and consultation FREE.
Lady in attendance. Eighteen of
fices in the United States. ,
Cor. Commercial and Eleventh Sts.,
over Danxiger store.
: More than two-thirds of your lift
you wear shoes. Did you ever think
of that? ,
The Dr. A. Reed:
pushionSnpc
Was built to givef your' feet comfort
two-thirds of your life; the rest you
sleep.
The W. L Douglas
Has a world-wide? reputation.. Wear
one and be up tolata. . ,
, , , 343. BOND STREET.
Opposite Fisher Bros.
Best kinds of,!oggipg shoes, banc
made, always i9n hand,,, , (o).
A common dunger produces unanim
ity. Latin Proverb. '