THE MORNING ASTORIAN, ASTORIA, OiiEGON.
SATURDAY, FEBRUARY S. 1908.
THAT SKINNER HOT,
He Is Sent on an Errand of Mercy
and Sorrow.
COMES ACROSS WATKINS BOY.
Explain to Friend the Nature of Hit
Mattaga and I Called a Hero.
Humpy la Given a Lift by a Large
and Liberal Foot.
(Copyright. 190?.
nntnpy Skinner had bis books under
JUEs arm and was on bis ay to school
when be passed a bouse pniutor stand
ing on a ladder at work with bis brush.
Just then the ladder broke, and tho
nan came dowu nud broke a leg. A
mwd quickly gathered, the nmhulano.;
was summoned, aud the policeman
who took charge of things looked
around and then said to Humpy:
"Boy, this poor painter is to Ih taken
to the Ninth Street hospital."
-Yes, sir."
"He will probably die of his In
juries." "Tea, sir; he will."
"His wife ought to be notified. Here
to her address, and I wish you would
tl&i ' 1 If! i
iliiP&lll
Whlild her. "What's tola talk about
my husband when Pvo bva a widow
for the last seVen years?"
"Do you kuow any rtlmr MeGulrei
iround herr called Humpy from tha
other aide of the gate.
"There's oue rtyht across the road,
but I'm not saying that she does her
duty by her children gadding arouud
as she does every day In tho week."
Humpy took a long look at the house
opposite aud theu crossed the street
aud rang the bell. Again It was Mrs.
McGuira who came to the door. and.
not seeing a" parcel In his baud, she
broke out with:
"I paid a dollar ten for a corset yes
terday, aud It was to come up before
night. It's uot here yet. aud you tell
the girl who sold it to me aud gave
me her solemu promise that I'm get
ting dressed to walta dowu there and
give her a bit of my tulud."
' I'm not a parcel boy. ma'am.'' re
plied Humpy.
Wo? Theu who are you?"
"Have you got a husbaud, ma'am?"
"I have."
"Does he ever climb ladders?"
"He does. He'll climb anything from
a glass of beer to the steeple of. a
church. He's been trying for the last
live years to climb Into o'.Uce. but it
makes his br.nl dlMy."
"Ma'am, I have to tell youthat Is.
I was sent tre to say that Is"
"That is, ::nt my man Joe is drunk
again aud ti . police have got him this
time and w:il give him thirty days.
All right. I was that McOuirc across
the street th t sent you, and do you go
back and te! her that she's no lady."
"But, nia'n
"Get a mm e on your
Humpy moved. Half a block dowu
the street It stopped beside a carpen
ter repairing a fence and asked him If
there were nay other McGuires on the
street.
"About ten others," was the reply.
"Try the uest door."
It was tried
CLASSIFIED ADVERTISING
HELP WANTED FEMALE.
WANTliH - COM PKTKNT GIRL;
family of two; wages $20. Inquire
387 Fifteenth street. 2-8-3t.
SITUATION WANTED.
SITUATION WANTED BY A
young lady of experience, a position
as stenographer; has own machine.
Apply this office. 2-5-3t.
e-
3ITCJATIOX WANTED BY MARRIED
woman m housekeeper) good oook;
ftrnj of children. AiUlre Housekeeper,
Aetorian oillee. ' 1-22-tf.
LOST.
LOST-BUNCH OF KEYS ON;
Wednesday, between 6th and 9th, !
on Duanc; tuler please return to Wj
Ninth street or Astorian.
PARTNER WANTED.
WANTED A PARTNER IN SMALL
sanitarium; $100 required; gentleman!
or lady. AJJrws Diedrich, Astortau
office, 1-22 tf.
FOR RENT.
FOR RENT 3 UNFURNISHED
rooms; best location; suitable for
office or housekeeping. Apply "K.,"
Astoria. 27-tf.
The
Morning
Astorian
Quick
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jewelry, typewriters, or thousands of other articles, can bo met at onoo
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Rates for Classified or "Want" Ads.
One insertion, 1 cent a word. One line, quo week, 30 cents; ono
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SITUATIONS WANTED
For the bcnellt of persons out of employment, ads under tho head
of "Situation Wnnte," will bo printed three days free of charge
PROFESSIONAL CARDS.
FOR RENT -9
j corner Jerome
j Apply to Capt.
i street.
A L&BOB A.SD LIBERAL BOOT HELPED HIM
OFF TEE STEP.
go to the place and tell her what has
happened. The poor thing ought to
know It at once."
"But I am on my way to school, sir."
"Never mind that Here is an er
rand of mercy and sorrow. If your fa
ther should break his leg today, would
not your mother feel grateful to the
boy who came to tell her? Suppose
this painter should die without seeing
his wife again. You'd always have It
on your conscience, and bis gbaet
would haunt you. Take the address
"tnf trot right along."
It was the threat about the ghost
that decided Humpy. lie didn't want
any painter's ghost walking In on him
at midnight, and be left bis school
books la a grocery and started on the
errand. When he had gone a couple
of blocks he met the Watklns boy, and
of eourse the Jatter asked where he
cwas going and what for. When the
nature of the errand had been explain
ed to him, he looked wise and said:
"Hump Skinner, I have read the lives
of Washington, Madison, Ilenry Clay
and Corporal Tanner, and not one of
'em was ever sent to tell a wife that
her husband had broken bis leg. Do
yon realize that you are a hero?"
"Am ir
"Of course you are. Buffalo Bill Is
aot in it -with you. Yes, sir, you ar3 a
regular hero, and you want to act like
one. Don't rush Into the house when
you get there and scare that poor wom
an half to death, but break the news
gradually. Lead up to the matter
gradually and easily. If some boys
iiad your chance they'd make that
wife think it was a good thing that
her husband broke bis leg. Go on and
tie a hero."
Humpy went on. He hadn't even
looked at the address jyet. ne had
been told that it was Beech street, and
Beech street was a mile away. He
had got within four or live blocks of
the street when he felt for the address,
to find that he had lost it. He halted
in his step.! and was about to turn
when he recalled that some one hud
said that the injured man's name was
llc-Guire. With that in his mind and
feeling that Providence might guide
him, he reached the corner of Beech
street to meet an old woman hobbling
along, aud he accosted her with:
"Ma'aiu. l you know a family on
this street named MeOuire?"
"Bless your heart, 1 do," was the !
reply. "You have only to go to the
fourth house on the right. 1 have
known Mrs. McOuire for these many
years, and I can say that she's a per
fect lady."
Humpy was in luck. lie passed
along to the fourth ho'isc nii-l rang the
bell, and as he s'.O'xl waiting he re
membered that he must ue a hero.
Mrs. McGuIre herself answered the
bell, and her greeting wa; uot exactly
cordial. Her voice was as cold as Ice
as she asked what was wanted.
"I wanted to ask If your husband
went huckleberryiug today.' replied
Humpy, who started In to break the
cad news gently.
"What! Are you here to give me Im
pudence?"
"No, ma'am. If your husband went
suckleberrying and fell out of a hick
ory tree and was bitten by a snake"
Has a Narrow Escape.
"Away with you!" shouted the wo
man as. she erahhed for the broom
FOR RENT 2 UNFURNISHED
office rooms, near court house. In-
eisire 3S6 Commercial street, up
Mrs. McGulre came to j stairs. 2-7-tf.
the door with a feather duster In her
hand and a scowl on her face and
wanted to know why Humpy was try
ing to pull the doorbell out by the
roots.
"You tunc sot a husband, haven't
you?" he ouoried in reply. ! FOR RENT A NEW MODE.tN
"You Impudent sassbos. won d I be . icularJ ,.
living with a man for the last twen- f. ,-. m
ty years aud he not my husband?" j of Van Dllscn & to - or Phone
"Your husl-and went away this morn- i Black 2351. 2-4 tf.
Ing feeling all right didn't he?" I f 1
Hurrpy Gets Nervous. J ROOM AND BOARD.
"He did that. How else should he ! -. w
feel when lie's got the best wife on the j Holden House-Room and board,
street? What do you staud there swal- j m w . . CcttnrT Nin,h
W W - w ------
ROOM HOUSE:
and 17th streets.
Fercben, 330 17th
22-tf.
and Duane.
FOR SALE-5000
' Enquire Geo. L.
i change.
2-7-7t.
HARD BRICKS.
Caldwell, 453 Ex-2-7-3t.
I WOOD FOR SALE PHONE RED
2186. 2-5-tf.
lowing your tongue for? Has my man
been throwlu another car off the track
and disloca'':)s; the conductor's shoul- 1 - -der?
If he lias, then he can pay his FOR SALE.
own fine." j
"Madam. 1 regret to be the bearer
the bearer" -
"And whn is It that you are bear
ing? If It's the ice or milk bill, out
with It! I'V got something to do be-,
sides standi here chinning with a
boy that cat t speak English."
"Well, thei . your husband fell from : mvn tvpi?
a ladder dc .vn on Arch street and i TWO SECOND HAND lYJ lv
broke his leg :ind has been sent to the' writers for sale cheap. Call at oflice
hospital." I of the .Woria Abstract, Title & Trut
"Oh. he s?" smiled the woman, j Co.. 186 Eleventh street, Astoria.
"My son. st p Inside a minute. Do j Qr.-gon. 1-24 I5t.
yon see the; sleeping form on th?
lounge there? That's what they calls ' j.-q sLF THE STOCK ND
a recumbent attitude. That's the man j ; ' , l)C ,
we have been talking about. Tbats: "
my husband. He was out on a spree', few fr0"' Astoria; very dean
last night." ' stocs, and will invoice about ViXW.
Humpy turned to flee, but he was j Particulars at
not quite quick enonsjb. ne was hit on! WESTERN REALTY CO.
the head with a duster, aud a large and !
libera foot helped him off the step, j ONE HUNDRED ROOM HOTEL
The man who was repairing the fence for .aio; a splendid business;
advised him to try three or tour otner . . om)orU,mty fur a f.rst-cla
houses, but the boy hid become uls- , .
' ., .. .:,.,, ,.,., hotel man.
didn't stop uutll he got there. As be j
j good opportunity
WESTERN REALTY CO.
entered the house his mother asked:
"Why, Humpy, how does It happen
that you got out of school so early?"
He explained, and when he had fin
ished she said:
"Poor boy. you did uot find the
right Mrs. McGulre. I am the one.
and now If you will klnctly step into
the wood shed with me we 'l find out
who fell down a ladder and who fell
up one!" M. QT'.VD.
FOR SALE-ONE-QUARTER OR
one-bail interest in a summer re
sort hotel doing a fine business; over
HKJ rooms and always engaged 'way
ahead.
WESTERN REALTY CO.
How They Did It
A Sunday school visitor, after s'v
verely catechising the children, put to
them this question: "How do the an
gels In heaven do the will of God?"
"They do it without asking ques
tions, sir," piped in a little boy. Judge.
Lane's Family Medicine cannot save
all doctor bills, but can save a good
share of them. One two-shilling pack
age has kept a whole family in good
health for a year.
SPRING GOODS
ARE HERE
Order your spring suit
now while my line is com
plete. Some beautiful effects
in tans, slates and London
smokes. A perfect fit guar
anteed and prices within
reach of all.
Carl E. Franseen,
ASTORIA'S LEADING TAILOR,
179 Eleventh Street. Phone Main 3711
"If it'a from Fmnseen Jt'o rlgnt."
FOR SALE THE FURNITURE
of a large lodging house; rooms
ahvavs full; low rent.
WESTERN REALTY CO.
MONEY TO LOAN.
MONEY TO LOAN ON GOOD
security, at Scandinavian-American
Savings Bank, Astoria.
Money to loan on good security,
Scandinavian-American Savings Bank.
F. I. DUNBAR
307 Astoria Savings Bank Building
INVESTMENTS
Loans, Bonds, County and City '
Warrants. Agent State Land
Board for Investment Funds
Insurance
Resident Agent Globe & Rutgers'
Fire Insurance Co., of New York.
LAUNDRIES.
Those Pleated Bosom Shirts
The kind known by dressy men in
the summer, arc difficult articles to
launder nicely. Unless you know just
how to do it, the front pleats won't
iron down smooth, and the shirt
front will look mussy. Our New
Press Ironcr irons them without
rolling or stretching. Try it.
TROY LAUNDRY, .
Tenth and Duane. Phone Main 1991
ATTORNEYS-AT-LAW
CHARLES H. ABERCROMBIE
Attorney-at-Law
City Attorney Office: City Hall
JOHN C. McCUE
Attorncy-at-Law
Deputy District Attorney,
1'aKc Building, Suite 4.
HOWARD M. BROWNELL
Attoriny-at Law
Oflke with Mr. J. A. Eakin, at 4J0
Conuncrcal St., A-storia.
DENTISTS
DR VAUGHAN
Dentist
Pythian Building, Astoria, Orejjon
DR. W. C. LOGAN
Dentist
Commercial St. Shanahan BIdg.
OSTEOPATHS.
DR. RHQDA C HICKS
Osteopath
Office Manscll Bldg. Phone Black 2061
573 Commercial St., Astoria, Ore.
MASSAGING.
Massaging
IN ALL ITS BRANCHES; WARM
bath if necessary; thorough con),
ict'.'ocy is assured.
MRS. M. HEYNO,
67 W. Bond Street, Astoria.
BUSINESS DIRECTORY.
RESTAURANTS.
Columbia
Restaurant
v
3381 Bond St., Cor. 8th and Bond.
First-Class Meals.
Reasonable Prices.
Our Special Dishes.
Noodles and Chop Suey.
Everything First-class.
YEE Y1CK, Manager.
TOKIO RESTAURANT.
351 Bond Street.
Opposite Ross, lliggins & Co.
CoiTee with Pie or Cake 10 Cts.
FIRST-CLASS MEALS
Regular Meals 1 5 Cts. and Up.
U. S. RESTAURANT.
434 Bond Street.
CoiTee with Pie or Cake, 10 Cts.
First-Class Meals, 15 Cts.
BOAT BUILDER.
T, U Driscoll1
BOATBUILDING AND REPAIR
ING A SPECIALTY.
22nd and Exchange Street.
HOUSE MOVERS.
FREDR1CKSON BROS We make
a specialty of house moving, car
penters, contractors, general jobbing;
prompt attention to all orders. Cor
ner Tenth and Duane streets.
HOTELS.
II. 3 Parker,
Proprietor.
P. Parker,
Manager.
PARKER HOUSE
EUROPEAN PLAN
Firt i'I.hs in Every Respect. Free
Coach to the House, Bar aud Billiard
Room. Good Check Restaurant. Good
Sample Rooms on the Ground Floor
for Commercial Men,
ASTORIA, OREGON.
NORTHERN HOTEL
Astoria's Newest and Beat Hotel.
Eleventh and Duane Street
or en Suite, Steam
Running Water in
Ko uiH, Single
Healed, Baths
Every Room.
Kate, 50c to $150; Special by
Week. Phone Main 3911.
MRS. J. COLLINS, Manager.
HOTEL PORTLAND
Finest Hotel in the' Northwest
PORTLAND, ORE.
European Plan Only.
H. C. BOWERS. Manager.
MARKET.
FISH
Seattle
m
Me
77 Ninth St., neur Boml
'Fresh and Salted Fish.
Game aud Pouliry,
Groceries, Produce and Fruit
Imported and Domestic
Goods.
P. Bakotitch & Fco, Proprs.
Phone Red 21M
MEDICAL.
Unprecedented
Suooef of
D. f, a WD
STO THB GREAT
A?L1 CHINESE DOCTOR
vV Who is known
,thron((hont the United
.1-4 States on account of
wonderful mtrae,
No poison or drug usee. Be guaran
tee to cure catarrh, asthma, lung aad
throat trouble, rheumatism, nervoutnaat,
stomach, liver and kidney, lemale com
plaint and all chronic disease.
SUCCESSFUL HOME TREATMENT.
If you cannot call write for symptom
blank and circular, Inclosing 4 oenti la
stamps.
THE C. GEE WO MEDICINE CO.
182 First St., Corner Morrison,
PORTLAND, OREGON.
Plfsne mention tha Astorian.
UNDERTAKERS.
J. A, G I LB AUO II & CO.,
gUntlertukcrN and Enilmlincrs.
Experienced Lady AsHlstftiit
When DoNlrcd.
CallH Promptly Attended Day
or Might.
Tatton Bd(f. 12th and Duane 8tn
ASTORIA. OltE.UON
Phone Main 2111
PLUMBERS.
MONTGOMERY
J.
PLUMBER
Heating Contractor, Tinner
-AND-
Sheet Iron Worker
ALL WORK GUARANTEED
425 Bond Street.
FURNITURE.
Hildebrand & Gor
Our clearing sale runs
the year through,
BARGAINS AT ANY TIME
467 Commercial Street.
WINES AND LIQUORS.
Eagle Concert Hall
(320 Astor Street)
Room fur rent by the day, week, or
month, Hrst rate in town.
P. A. PETERSON. Prop.
MISCELLANEOUS.
klMHa-, 60 YEARS'
rv VxpgmgNC
0
IJ
, v Tnaoc Marks
jtJV DcaioNt
' Copyright 4 c.
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QHlchlr Mwrtntit mr iMH"ii fro wiuOi.r mi
Ir
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tptrl.U "i(k, H hi ml eimrtf.
lilrotilMi l Mfi'hnlily rmlclilnlilw. f'liniliiunlf.
IBUOIIU
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I'noi.m iiii.'ii iliroiiili Muiut a iu. rclf
ui iu
iti,u..irirtlr is.iin.lonii.l. HANUBOni iinr.ii.iit
lill MKiirr iMfRiiriiriiiv iMiiinit.
vnf frv.
Scientific Jmtm.
A hunilKimnlf lllimtmlwl mwktf. t nrnort
riilaiii.n iif unr w-iciiiiUd Hirixl, 'I urnn, 'i f
r.in finir nionllta. L JkiW l)Tll iraWMlimleti,
IVlllfiN & Co 8,0m-- New York
Uraacb uakM. 634 r HU Wutiluiun. 1. C
TW an mora Itl r' 1 1 1'nlleraiuiMliitS.VtM
M.t than of my olli.c m.ka nl iunni. lalala
of lhalr tiyia, accaracr sna rmiiiitiir.
HeCl' Mitn(TliaOii" " fa.liM"
ra mbacrUxn ilian any mliar l.mli'.' Miilna. O
aara aybacriiillun (II PnmUr.l ci,.i. All crllla. Maa
kaman, A MWI. Kir.iy aulitcrtbar gaixliUttr
aatm Vm, Diiii.crlha lrat.iy,
Mtr Alii Wantrd. ttm1.oma pumUiim
Wralca.h tummia.l'.n, t'allern ( auinua( cl
Irna) ami Pramliim t'alalnKiia .hotting 41a piainiuma)
aal Iru. Aililiut TUJt McCAlX CO. Na Yartk
HI -.jwf..'H." m ami 1 rw
'3-mmmJJmmWmU. -ajWitta OTiBMIto MtjJHui av. h1 I
EMM.)
IN ONE OR MANY COLORS
LARGEST FACILITIES
IN THE WEST FOR
THE PRODUCTION OF
HIOH GRADE WORK
lATIt AS LOW At IASTIRH HOUSES