FRIDAY JANUARY 17. 190a m.
THE M0IIN1NG 'ASTOWAN, ASTORIA. OREGON.
;iF Ybtr DON'T WATCH OUTi
Bav you vt a llttls wife, quit th tun
ehine ( yur lift,
; Who tr vary and witty and at
pretty aa can ba,
onto Jolly Hula Molly or ium dainty tlt
lit 1'ullyT i
Or porlmt' dor nams la Bally, It It all
tht same lo mo.
Then, ramember this, old chappyi lae
that aha la alwaya happy
Mtvor v har nor irpfo har) Mvar
van let liar pout.
Par, thotiah you may be strangsT, 1
will warn you of your danger
An affinity will t har t( you don't
watch out.
' i
Tt hnr dine on roast canary. N,ovr be
so mvrconary
Aa to hint that bf and eabbaf would
quit wall auflloa.
tM hr wardroba ba tistanslve; nevor
Itilnil If It'a elnlv;
IHiy tha prlea without a murmur If aha
kM-p" on limiting niua.
Down In Newport lt har summer-that's
tha way to ba a hummer,
' lha'll apprMnta aurh klndneaaea with
out a ilnvta doubt
U In kiwplna with htr wlahca you ahould
al waali lha rtlntio.
An affinity will get her If you don't
wateh out.
navar
)fvr kluk about tha eooklnfi
frown whan aha la looking
Navar vantura to remind hor of tha pla
that mottmr mtula.
Alwaya iriti whlla at tha table and, far
aa you ara abla,
Maka her think It la a prtvllaia to aaa
that Mlla ara pnld.
Bo, If you would kap your treasure, al
waya eater to her plaaaura.
Kavar balk nor outtalk har; navar hava
a wurrty bout
TBotwh you may not U oulapoken, al
ways ajt with ona eye P
An affinity will get har, If you don't
watch out.
-Paul C. Wlllard In Puck.
r
; Could Maka Allowaneee.
Th young mother, who wan trying
to put tha baby to sleep, bad darkened
the room. . . ;, ;,.;
Somebody trh4 to enter tho aide door,
nd alio went ami opem! It
"I beg your pardon," eald tbt elderly
matron who bad coma tip on tbt porch,
"but la this house for rentr
"Not at all"
"Seeing tho btluds down, I thought
there wit nolwdy living bore, and aa I
am looking for a house I waa going to
tcp In and Inspect It"
"Well, It'a not empty, and tt'a not for
not. ma'am. Tbo reason why tho
bllnda ara down, If you must kuoW-
"Ob, I see. Tbo lace cnrtalna are In
the witch. Well, wo all nave to clean
bouse once In awhile. Horry to bart
troubled you. Good day."-Chlcago
Tribune.
Quit of Har Opinion.
Quailing Young Lady (to fnmoua ae-tor)-Oh,
Mr. Sinclair, I uld ao want to
have a talk with you. I'm simply mad
to go on the etufje.
Sinclair -Yea; 1 abould tbtnk you
would be, my dear young lady. Illus
trated Bit.
He Meant It
There la a western politician now
serving bla atato In the balla of con-
greaa who la well known for bla die
Inclination to admit that ba la 111 at
' wall aa for bla circumlocutory motbot?
of expression.
One day a friend aaked after tbt
great mnn'a health.
"Thomas," anld tho conservative rcj-
reaentatlve cautiously, "I am not well,
but I am better than I waa when I
.waa worse than I now am.' Ltppuv
cott'a.
Mary Knew All About It
Little Mnry'a father had boon teach
lnz her to walk properly. "Walk
lowly and turn out your toes," be ad
monlsbed her. '
While ahe waa undergoing this teach
lng ahe attended Sunday school one
day. The golden text was "Teach me
to walk boucBtly." Aftor rocking It
aevoral times the teacher asked:
"Who knows what that meaner
"I do," replied little Mary. "Walk
lowly and turn out your toes.rt-rhtl-adelphla
Ledger.
Time Is Precious to the Money-Saving Man!
ToinnidirroWj Sat urtflajf, a4 H pm
SHARP, ENDS THIS
BEA1
EST ACT
mm
of Fine Quality Men's and Boys' Wearing
Apparel of This Century at
a nasi
Astoria's Greatest Clothiers.
o &
Coo
Corner Commercial and Eleventh Sts.
Tables Filled with Bargains in Boys' Clothing, Men's Underwear,
Suspenders, Shirts, Sox, Shoes, Sweaters.
Terrific Price Slashing in Hats? Men's Good and Finest Clothing at Material's Cost;
Less Than Half Price in a Great Many Instances.
Oh, Bat the Wind-up of this Sale will Be the Greatest Days
) OF ALL. THIS STORE IS A CONCERN OF FACTS, We never break
faith with the public That's why when we announce a cut price sale, every person
within reach of this store attends our special sales. Remember, Tomorrow,
SATURDAY, at 10 P M The Last DAY and Last HOUR of This Grand Sale
i BAD FIRE IN OAKLAND.
OAKLAND, Jan. lC-FIra Ut nlglit
lkNtroyed tha TacKle Prea building at
Twlfth and Caatro atrwta. During the
(Ira W, B. Coldlan, 61 ywra old, a mln-
i broker, dronnw dead from excite
ment in Wa room at 715 Twelfth atrect,
and Fireman Arthur Coveaa waa ao aer
ioualy injured that ona of bia lege had to
bo amputated, at Ui hospital. The IV
rillo VrM building waa one of the Meet
I,, the cltv. Two lower floora were occu
pied by Andrew Brown, printing and
liothotrranhlnir. and the two upper, noora
by the Oakland Furniture Company. The
t,Ul loa ia estimateJ at fW.ow, oi
which $40,000 falls on the building, and
20,000 on the Oakland Furniture Co.
ANABR0W ESCAPE.
Uncle Reuben's Story of Hia First Ride
in an Elevator.
MAY ATTACH PROPERTY.
DUItAXflO, Colo., Jan. 10,-Charged
with having received deposits after
they knew that the State Bank was in
solvent, lour of tho olllcera and direc
tors wore yesterday arrested o at
tacment suits brought against them by
John EngllHh. Those arrested arei
P. N. Freeman, W, C. Chapman, Frank
Kldredge, and Kven Hampton, They
wera released on bond s, , l. '
My the suit it ia 'expected to atUch
nmi'iertv of the directors and1 the prop
erty f tlie bank with the idea of having
e" . .a
tlie dc-posltora paid In full from ine
nronertv of the directors and the ofllccrs,
r i t .... .
Alrndv tl store bniwing of uiapman
and the building of the block have been
Wied upon. '
They Ara Plentiful.
"Pa, do you know any phllosophorsT
"Yea; I meet erowda of tbarn every
"What do thoy doT' ' li !
"Tbey are goncrally busy explaining
bow glad they are tbat tbey bava no
money and are therefore In no danger
of losing anything on account of the
stringency .VChlcago Record-Herald. 1
' ' A' Pubile Benefactor.
itingyman-It la true that I put very
little money In circulation. But tbat
really makes me a public benefactor.
BInks-In what way? , , ;, ,;
8tlngyman-AU the autborltlea unite
In declaring that money is a transmit
ter of disease. They'll never charge
me with pushing any plagues around.
Cleveland Tlaln Dealer.
Bead the Morning Astorian.
Tha Pure Food Law,
Seeretary Wilson aaya, "One , of the
objects of the law ia to Inform we 00
umtr of tna prewnce oi owmw
fill AM1IM in maJlolnea." The law re-
u, " ' ' .
aulrea that the amount of oMoroform,
. . . 1 . . -VI& (amm
opium, morphtne, an oiner nuK -tu
atateJ on' the label of each
bottle. The manufaoturere of Chamber
lain's Cough Remedy bave alwaya claim
.4 tilr ramadv did not contain any
of these drugs, and the truth of this
claim ia now fully proven, aa no m"on
of them la made on the label. This
remedy ia not only' one of the safest,
but one of the best in use for coughs
and eoldi. Its value baa been poven be
yond question during the many year It
haa 'been in ' general use, For sale by
Frank Hart and leading druggists.
Uncle' Reuben came hack from the
city excited and nervous. He bad
gone to the city to trnnsm't some law
bualnoiss eaaoected with his farm with
a lawyer whoee ofllee waa In a mod
ern skyscraper and whoso address Reu
ben carried nioug for memorandum.
Waal," be begnu after bis wlfo,
alarmed at bis chunked condition, bad
threatened to summon the doctor from
the nearest village If be would not ex
plain its cause, "I bad nbout th' skin
niest shave from death this morning I
ever heard ou! It wus lu that law
yer's bulldln' too. " see, I found th'
right place an started look In' through
th' bulldln f r his name nn' uumber.
Finally after walkln' up stairs after
stairs fr over two hours I set daown
all tired out on th' top Btcp o' th' laat
stairway, completely discouraged.
" 'Where kin I find Lawyer Barnes'
office? I asked a man burryln' by
me. Uo didn't atop, but Just pointed
bis thumb at a young foliar standln'
beside a little cngclike room cUewln'
gum like sixty. So I stepped over an'
lnto-tbla little room an' asked th' boy
If be wus Lawyer Barnes clerk. : 'No,'
ho aez, a bit frcshllke, 'but I'll seo that
y' see 'm!' , Then that fresh young
fellur bit. th' wall a punch that did
th' hull business!" ,
JFIore Reuben paused to cover hl&
eyeB nnd shake all over.
"He hadn't any niore'n hit 1 that
wall when be dislodged that room's
glt-rtch-qulck fastening," he weut on
when his spell was over, "an th' hull
floor 0'. tbnt room (ell right out an'
daown them fifteen stories to th'
ground, tnkln' mo n' that young fellnr
with it!
"Waal, thank God, here I be. Sarahy.
How either 0' us escaped glttln' every
bone in our bodies broke I don't know
an' don't enre. All I know is that
floor fell flat on th' ground an' we
didn't lose our footln'. When , that
shock wuz oyor I hugged th' young
feller fr Joy nu' give him a Ave dollar
bill fr opeulu th' door nn' lettln' me
out ahead o' Mm. Then I hustled f r
home."--Bohiulan Magaalne.
The secret of that Cafilornia deois
ion seems to he that Schmlts had a
friend an court, . .
If Saturn is jretting tired of its rings,
porhapa King Edward might utilize one
to set his $700,000 diamond m. .
Have
isfed For
m
TIMBER LANDS,
FARMS,
CITY LOTS,
HOUSES,
AND ALL
KINDS OF -J
I .' .. . I- ' ' . " ; ' . . .
REAL ESTATE
1
172 TENTH STREET.
HSJa
ASTORIA, OREGON
jSU . I. aS) i
V TWJi6MiJ UaT dMJt
' 3- 1 t?l ' 1 t 1 r
mm
the original
laxative""",
HONEY unrlTAW
I i Cures Coughs, Colds, Croup, La Grippe, Asthma, Throat tatha 1
and Lung Troubles. Prevents Pneumonia and Consumption yellow packac
F. T. Laurin, Owl Drug Store.
IF