Image provided by: University of Oregon Libraries; Eugene, OR
About The morning Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1899-1930 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 5, 1907)
THURSDAY, DECEMBER 5, 1907. THE MORNING ASTOMAN, ASTORIA, OREGON. 1 ' f . fM. J - 4 r, ' t i (, f t c j - . " : COL. TJRESHAM'S BURNSIDE9. They Nearly Coit Hit Lift. f Colonel GraNhnm. stockbroker, turn , ixl geutlumuu farmer to produce now varieties or fruits, i Nature Brown soma two-colored an plan, liut wlnm you ask her to add two additional color alio wanta time to tbluk tlio mutter over, Every export luotit win a fulluro, but that only made the colonel and hi gardener tlio mora determined, especlully tlio gardener, It wn hi duty a on employee to gh hi imiNlitr nil hi Idena, but be made n excoptloii In thin one case, IIo cluntr to It with dogged obstinacy, but tio kept It as secret a tlio grave, IIo might Imvo clung to it n year or no longer nnd not tlio colonel become Im patient. De mid something one June day about glvlug up the experiment, tad too gnntfliuir replied Hint he would have omo nowa for him next day. lie akad the broker to come home an hour earlier than usual and to com directly to the Inrge form bum. At the hour nouied the colonel wa there. lie bad eoareoly entered the barn when be received a crack on the bend that made him unnclou for the nttit quarter of an hour, When he came to he had tacit stripped of coat, vest and tie and wn bound hand and foot. lie had not caught algbt of hi assailant before being atruck, but now j rouna uie garaoner rwvoring over linn with a mtinlomim look ou hU face. "Will tou toll me what thta moans, Honryr asked the victim. "Yea, air. I have finally found bow to if row four colored apple. It bus been a Ions time, but I Imvo struck it at last. I hnpo to have fifty bunhela en tlio market this full." "Well. let's hear about It." "All the apple two are now In bio torn. The red otic are all right, and the yellow onoa are all right, and I have found a way to miiko the blue and green onoa all right. I have aim ply to aprlnkle them with the blood of man wearing aide whiskers. A drop of blood to a blossom will do the trick, nd one the apple start to growing that way thoy will continue." Now, the colonel had a growth of aide whlxker that were the envy of Wall street and a matter of Joy to himself. Whenever you aaw the colo nel you aaw bla whisker, lie might forget hta commutation ticket now and then, but never hi whisker. The two were one and Inaeparablo, lie didn't like the gardener's reference to those encred object. It amncked of familiarity, and there waa a covert threat Milnd the word. IP waa ut first Inclined to bluster, but nnotVr look Into the gnrdoner'a fare aatl!!cd blm that the man had become crazy. He therefore changed hi tnctlc nnd quietly aald: "All right. Ilenry. We will go up to the orchard and experiment. I am do lighted to find that you have achieved ucceaa at lout." 'Itnt how can you go when I want your blond r asked the man. "Ton eo, you are the only man around here with aide whlNkera. If tho coachman or the butler had 'em, that would do, but they haven't, you know. They are tine onea, rolonel fine onee. And Chapman bent down and ten Ierly caressed tho Iron gray aide whisker that floated away from oacb cheek and were gently atlrred now I land then by the June breexea blowing ' Tlnto tho oien door. Never had another I 'man on thin earth except the barber J dimwit In Inv hln l,Hlnirl,itia Immla ttn I .those reverenced objecta of the money RELICS OF THE DEAD. Horrible Cuitom of South American Indian Trie. The Ueayall Indiana, a numerous outli American trllKi, . with docidod oannlballHtlc tastes, who inhabit both bank of one of the uppvrmoat and longoet of the affluent of the Amazon, have t ayitom by which they preserve the feature of tbolr dead, ao that frlouda can alway Iduutlfy tboae that bar gouo to tho "happy bunting ground" n aurely aa If gazlug at photograph. To occoinpllab thla they cut tlfe bead from the body, but retain the long hair. The ghaatly, bleeding trophle of day' battle or a nlght'a musaacr of tbelr euuiuloa are suspended by the long, atralght black hair to the limb of a, tree, Directly under thla they dig a bole, which they Oil wltb water, In their primitive,, way causing It to boll by placing Lot atone la It, or, If near camp or village, an earthen pot of boiling water la need. 'i:3s' Tho ascending hot vapor and ateaia wblcb envelop the (usponded bead outlined by the Or and ahadowi, Ilk ghost in the darkneaa of tropical night, In the deep aolitude and under the black ahudowa of the palm foteita, acoompaulod by the weird antic of the ugly buman brute and tho abrlett of wild blida of the night or tho bowl of tigers, make a accn that cannot be fully deacrllwd to the Imagination. Tula ateamlng process baa the effect of looaenlng the scalp from the akull or In tome way of softening it that all Ui bones are removed. With the va cant sack of sklu drawn from the bead Intact, they next All It wltb hot pobblea and ennd. These are replaced by otb era when they are cool. The process they use baa the effect of drying and shrinking the skin, but In some way, not clearly known, it preserve the original feature of the victim. Tbey are thns distorted and ghaatly looking reminder of tho departed. London spar Momenta. SHAPE OF THE EARTH, 8clwTlrClalmT ItiTOrlglnal Form Wi as That of Pear, I fcenter of the world. 1 1 "But we will look up aome one else," vnni 11, n t-viunvi mm un icu n kiiikiuji oi the heart. "I know of several men with aide whisker, and I will coat one .1 1. . ... . . .. iwn umin minis wiuj uiu ujuiorrow. , t i"Uut I must hnve tho blood today, I ;H-!vfiul. Beside, for thla flrat expert I uiunt we must have the nicest sort of I JwhUiker. There la nothing lu tbo state f ' of New York to compare with yours, j jTbe pnpere havo aald eo over and over ! again. How soft they arel now lux I "wrlontly they growl How the broexo 1 jtoys with theml Your blood la all j tight, nud the flrat bushel of four-color-I d apple almll be deposited on your 1 grove." I i "But I want to see the troea yon v liave selocted. I may decide to mako I aonio changes. S I "The trees are all rleht colonel. Bore la a knife to open an artery, and bore la a pan to catch the blood. What hall I do with your whiskers after you are dead? It seems a pity to bury 'em like so much horsehair." 1 "you juamea root, thla has gono I fnr enoiiKh!" exclaimed the colonel, go- t ing to tne otner extreme. "Unbind me 1 t once or I'll bave you sent to prison I for life!" I I "It won't do," replied the gardener, 1 with a shake of bla head and taking up 11 knife be bad made ready for the pur f pose. "You are a anxious for the four- colored apples aa I am, and you mustn't I bring all our labor to naught Here ioea for the blood." I 1 The colonel begaa yelling for help, and fortunately the coachman waa at band to respond, no entered tbo barn On a run and narrowly escaped being 'ttabbed, and the era ty gardener bad to be kpocked down wltb a club before bo could be aecured. He waa found to e clean daffy and waa sent to an asy ftim and 1 there yet, and ahoutd you fver visit tho Institution be will beckon iou aside and whisper: '" ' I "Do you know that If It hadn't been lor Colonel Qreshnm we'd be having imiMolorod .apple jn market today t tfs bad tho blood, and be bad the aide whiskers, but be backed put Just when luccess waa certain." . !Tho colonel bated to part with them, ut he hna bad all those whiskers bared off. He doesn't want anything mmiil hi... n ..... A REAL WONDERLAND. 8011th Dakota, with it rich silver mines, bonanza farms, wide ranges and (range natural formations, is a verit able wonderland. At Mound City, In the home of Mrs. K. D. Clapp, wonderful cas of healing baa lately occurred. Her son seemed near death with lung and throat trouble. "Exhausting coughing spells occurred every five minutes,' write MVs. Clapp, "when I 'begs giving Dr. King's New Discovery, the great medicine, that saved bis life and completely cured hira," Guaranteed for coughs and colds, throat and lung trou hies, by Cba. Rogers drugglit. 60c. and l.0O. Trial bottle free. BADLY MIXED UP. Abraham Brown, Wlntereon, N. Y had a very remarkable experience: he savs: "Doctors cot badl4 mixed, ou over mo; one said heart disease) two called It kidney trouble: the fourth, blood poison, and the fifth stomach and liver trouble) but none of them helped me; to my wife advised trying Electric Bitters, which are restoring me to per fect heal Ui. une bottle did me more good than all the five doctor prescrib d." Guaranteed for blood poison, weak ness and all stomach, liver and kidney complaints, by Chas. Rogers druggist, SO, leading financier agree that the scare I over and that prosperity will return liiiekly. Good Cough Medicine for Children. The season for coughs and cold is now at hand and too much care cannot be ued to protect the children. A cftild Is much more likely to contract diph theria or scarlet fever when he has 1 cold. Tho quicker you cure Ms cold the le Uie risk. Chamberlain' Couh Remedy is the solo ivliance of many mothers, and few of those who liave tried It are willing to uo any other. Mrs. F. F. St archer, of Ripley, W. Va sayri "I hove never used anything other than Chamberlain's Cough Remedy for my childlren and it has always given good satisfaction." This remedy coutsin no opium or other narcotic and may be given a confidently to a child aa to an adult. Foe sale by Frank Hurt and lead ing druggist e. In cast. - Ids vote at Oyster Bay the president waa in the booth four minutes. Thla is not muoh ithne to give the country once ft year,' but there are many who begrudge ten seconds for the duty, and many uUo who neglect it altogether, though Wiey expatiate for hours on the defects of government. Orlno Laxative Fruit Syrupfthe new Laxative stimulates, but does not ir- riate. It 1 the best Laxative. Guaran teed or your money back. Sold by T. F. Laurin, Owl Drug Store. , Jewelry manufacturer expect a de crease in Christmas gifts of their wares. Many orders are being canceled. : s 1 When the doctor la called he aks: "How are the bowel t" They are gen erally wrong. His visit might have been saved by a timely dose of Lane's Family Modidne. According to the deduction of 3. A. Jean of Trinity collego, Cambridge, the ahripo ft tho earth when It began to cool an to solidify from a llmild mas wa tflnt of a pear. But Its slmje could not ?tve been maintained long against th enormous strain wbicb would be Mt up In It aa the process of cooling p weeded, and tbl shape would gradually give place to aa ap proximately aphorlcnl form. Bucb a configuration would posses a single axis of symmetry, and tbl axis, It 1 Mtiggeated, iuimumI through a point of latltudo nnd lougltudo 0 degree north of 80 degree east Thu Africa, the continent vboe center above sea level Is groatint, must be taken as the cen ter of the land hemisphere, while tho protuberu?K which formed, tbo fMK of tho pjM submerged inJPflc ocean"! "wnlcn now forms" the witer hemisphere. Almost the only remain ing evldoiue of theexlateuee of tbl protuberant Is tho foci that tbo'Mbi of tbo ptmr coincide with the cnftb'a greatest Me meter. If we suppose the pear to contract to a spherical sanpe the chantf In curvature and the rela tive dlsplAcementa would bo greatest In tho neUfliUirliood of Its equator, and hence we should expect to find earth quake aei volranoc in greatest Dum ber near to thla circle-Exchange, Irisanlng of Protocol. Like many other English word de rived front other languages, "protocol" baa long tfuco lost It original mean lug. It 1 derived from the Greek "protoa,", meaning first, and "koUnn," meaning flue, and meant originally a aneet gluw lu front of a man-uu-rlpt bearing tto wrlter'a name and other particulars From this the meaning evolved lrfo that of a rough draft of a document ind waa so used by the Ilomaua, cbo called It "protocolluns." The definition of the word a used In modern diplomacy I given aa a rough draft of Any document or a document preliminary to some tranaacUsn It likewise ' defined aa "a diplomatic document or minute of proceefteg algned by friendly powers in ordi to secure certain diplomatic end by peaceful means." Muscular Pain Cured. jiiniig uie (ummep of iwi I was troubled with muscular pains in the in step of my foot," ay Mr. 8. Pedlar, of loronto, Ont, "At time It was so poln ful I could hardly walk. Chamberlain' Pain Balm wa recommended to me, to I tried it and wa completely cured by one small bottle. I have ince recom mended it to several of my -friends, all of whom speak highly of it." For sale by Frank Hart and leading druggist. Have you ordened the Morning Ator- lan delivered at your door? MTTEKIES Astoria Hardware Co., - 113 12th St; In Our Isnce Depar iiiieiii Undiamayed. Counsel for the Defenae Gentlemen. I appeal to you to return tbl unfortu nate to his tittle borne, where t tender. loving wife await blm, where bla lit tle children call htm father- Judge (Interrupting)-! will call the learned counsel' attention to the fact that tho accused la unmarried. Couneul (undiamayed, continuing) 60 much the more unfortunate 1 thla poor man, who baa no little borne, where uo lender, loving wife twnita bun, where no little children caLbin WANTED Mhe name and address of the man who asserts that a Standard Equit ! I I wnillrl ha nf nn ul, - I ill i: whim tiv wi iiv vaiuo in i him. ; That is the man who i needs to be seen by an enlightening EQUITABLE Agent Warn ialo. COMMERCIAL ST. ASTORIA, OREGON This is the time of Year to place Your Order for Blank Books fer 108. 1 Our Facilities are the best and we can promptly execute all ill i orders . Dellinger ""!t--ti