THE MORNING ASTOIUAN, A SI Oil I A, r OREG ON.
SUNDAY, MAUCH 17, 10U7.
I
Brother Gardner's ' H
General Remarks1
Clingstone Johnson of Souf C&raliny
Comet in For a Raking at the j
Limekiln Club. I
(Copyright, ISO, by T. C Etment)
WHEN the Limekiln club bad
finished the regular order of
business at Its last meeting,
Brother Gardner arose with
a very serious expression of counte
nance, and after a long look up and
down the hall be said:
"Gem'len of dis club, I feel It my
dooty to uuike a few sin era 1 remarks
dis eaveiilu' on a subjick dat consarns
us all. 'Bout fo' weeks ago do Hon.
Clingstone Johuson of Souf Carallny,
arrove yere to make a speech befo dis
club. I didn't tartly li'ke de looks of
de man. IIe"wr,i too long In de back
of de neck and too short In de legs,
nis eyes was too clus together and his
mouf too fur np.nrt. IIo had de appe
tite of a hous while clalmtn to her de
sentiment of a poet.
"All of you will remember dat
6peeeh. It had to do w'.i de rights of ;
man. and It appeared to make out dat
"DIS CLHUTB All TOO COLD FCB HI.
ne man was jest as good as another,
no matter what his color, condition or
de length of his lire's.' Instead of
gwlne back home arter makln' dat
speech de Hon. Clingstone decided to
bang around fur a spell, and he's bang
In' ylt If Braiders Giveadam Jones
and Samuel Shin want to take a free
boarder Into deir cabins, I her no ob
jections, but de time hiyi arrove when
I also wanter say somethln' 'bout de
rights of man.
"It has pained and grieved, me to ob
sarve de effects of dat speech. Feelin'
dat he was as good s any other man
on alrth, Waydown 9ebee has put a
mortgage on his mew! to buy bisself a
fifteen dollar dress coat
"Six weeks ago Elder Penstock was
satisfied to drink cold water and lib
mostly on puddin' and milk. Yester
day he was orderin in 4 case of beer
and a gallon of Ice cream.
"A few days ago Pickles Smith
would hev climbed obes de fence to
make room fur a whit man to pass,
but today be wants all de road fur
hisself and am wlshln' dAt some white
man would jest try to crowd him de
least bit.
"I notice a swagger In de gait of !
Nlcodenius White and a surprisln air
of Independence in de way Jedge Car
ter walks into a grocery and inquires
de price of pineapples.
"Three weeks ago State Rights Hen
derson thought a pa'r of cowhide shoes
good nuff fur him. He appears yere
dis eavenin' wearln' patent leathers
dat cost fo' dollars, and Instead of
walkin" five blocks on foot he took de
street kyar.
"Two months ago Jbilashun Scott
was so humble dat be'dasn't assert dat
Columbus diskivered America, but dis
arternoon he was sweKliT around town
and offerin' to lick any man who de
nied dat Noah's ark was. painted blue.
"Up to a few days ag-j any member
of dis club rldiu' on a street kyar
would hev bin ushamed to keep his
out Trttilp u tvmmin nf nnv v.lnr strHvl
. , . , ,t. . I
iugton Blair, Judas Browc and Tele
graph Jones hangin' right to der seats
like grim death, whilo ?o' women was
hangin' to de straps. When dey was
spoke to by a while turn v;l;o !ud i,'.-
np his seat long befo', dey sassed him
back.
"I see a change In Waterruillyon
Carter, Emancipation Hardee and Pre
viously Green, and I see it In Kurnel
Cablff, Sundown Jackson and Come
along Harper. Humble Black am no
longer humble, and Retlrln' Davis isn't
on de retire any mo'.
"In his speech befo dis club de Hon.
Clingstone was fool nuff to declar' dat
de Lawd duo created all men eknl and
meant dat one man should hev jest as
much as another. Yo' hev evidently
been asses nuff to believe bim and am
actln' accordingly. If somebody dun
told yo' dat all bosses was created ekal
and dat de scrub boss was jest as good
as de race boss, yo'd laugh at bim.
"Samuel Shla am a breeder and deal
er In dawgs. He's got curs and poodles
and setters and terriers fur ale. He'll
sell yo' a cur dawg fur a dollar or two,
but when yo want a collie or a grey
bound yo hev go to come down wid
$25. Why? If all men and all dawgs
am created ekal, why should one cost
more dan another?
"Yo' kin go down to de auction places
, and buy a work howe fur fo'ty dollars,
.y .'iK '
Hollow Concrete Block House.
It Is Warm and Dry and
Estimated
Copyright, 1907, by ll
:Bii;'. 1 1 feii3 1
m
i it . .j. d a i - r,v.'i i mi ii Ti' vviar i rw r ':a i m
'iBj-i.ik r. i i i i ma i i i ma mm
PERSPECTIVE VIEW.
I m
j 1 WTCHCN I j :uyl CMAMBM
I 'ko dining boomT 1 m-' lew
jf HAUV. LMNCJ BOOM j I ' a
W T "j I ' cic 4'',""v
VCQANQa. ' J y
In el
FIRST FLOOR PLAN.
This hollow concrete block residence of two stories and basement Is well
arranged and pleasing in design. The best size of block for it Is eight Inches
high and sixteen inches long. The hollow concrete block construction Insures
a warm, dry house costing less than brick and requiring no repairs. It Is also
fireproof and substantial in appearance. The estimated cost of this design Is
!iaH. HENRY WITTEKIND.
bnt if yo' dun want a race boss"yo
may hev to pay thousands. If one boss
am de same as another, how does dl
come about? Yo' Jest put it down In
Mack and white dat dar's about fo'teen
different sorts of men in dis world and
dat when a one X man gits de idea
! dat he's as god as a three X man he's
shorely breedin' trublde fur bisself.
"De Hon. Clingstone gibs us to un
derstand dat one man has jest as much
right to dis world's goods as another,
an' some of yo' am idiots nuff to be
lieve him.. De only right dat yo' or any
other livin' man has got is a chance to
aim yo'r way, an' yo' can't alius git
dat.
"If yo' kin git a few dollars ahead
an' make dem few dollars bring yo' in
a few dollars mo', dat's all right, but
yo' jest dun keep yo'r hands off de bas
ket of cokeruuts in front oj" de grocery.
Yo' may argy dat dey belong to yo' as
much as to de grocer, but arter three
months In jaiIyo' will probably see de
difference. '
"People am gwiuji around ebery day
an' sayin' dat no man has a right to be
worf a loillyou doirs while another
man wants fur bread. Dar hain't no
question of right or
wrong 'bout it.
One man will git .iliend of another In
mouey makin', an' yo' can't help it.
Yo' misht as well ijay dat one boss has
no bimess to gallop in under de wire
while niiolhcr am fcolin' away his time
on de backstretch
"No man was ever jit bo'n Into dis
world who didn't have a show to git
along. Mebbe he has to begin life In
a sawmill, but It depends upon hisself
how long he st;iy dar. Yo will find
mighty few o' 1 rich men of today
who wasn't as pore as skim milk when
dey started out in life. If dey hev
hustled and worked bard and been
cute and forced luck, why should we
be down on 'em?
"When yo' And a pusson arguin' dat
all property orter be divided up, yo'
jest trace him .back and yo'll find dat
he has sot on de fence thirty days fur
ebery day he's worked. He aches to
git sunthln fur nuthln. He wants some
one else to climb de tree fur de chest
nuts. "I reckon yo'll find de'Hon. Cling
stone to be a man of dis sort. In de
spring, while ollfcr folks am plantln'
yams aud watemiillyons, he's shootln'
craps or sloepin' In de sun. When sum
mer comes and de yarns and water
mlllyons are ripe, he's ready to argy
dat one man has no bizness to hev a
hundred millyons while another has
none.
"io' want to uwtolanct dat a man
am what ho act I !;'' hisself and no-
Less Expensive Than Brick.
Cost, $1,500.
- nry Wittrkimt. Chlcuo.
Ai '."L-LJ 'I 19 mf I
w
SECOND FLOOR PLAN.
body else. De Lawd didn't dun pnl
him yere to be great or mall. rich or
pore. It's all left to hisself as to what
he shall become. Yo' must gib him
half de road, and ho must do de same
by yo. De man who gits It Into his
head dat bekase he happens to be Iw'n
he's at de top ob de heap is half fool.
I hev dis eavenin' sent word to de
non. Clingstone dat dis climate am too
cold fur him and dat he'd better pack
up his bundle and move on. It's none
ob my blzness what he may say to yo
as Individuals, but when I find his
doctrines brung Into dis Limekiln club
as the things fo sw'ar by It becums
my dooty to move In de matter.
"At our last meetin' I accidentally
left fo' lemons on my desk. Some of
yo' who believe dat all property should
be divided up hev divided dose k-mons.
Not only dat, but yo didn't even leave
de seeds fur me. Dat's 'bout de way
slch Ideas work out.
"I am told dat Giveadutn Jones was
swaggerln' around a day or two ago
and declarin dat he was Jest as good
a man as de next and dat if he had
his rights he would also own a cabin.
As for his bel;i' as good as I am, we
won't waste any breath disputlu', but
I want to make It mighty plain to him
and to all de re' of yo' dat yo'r the
ories want to stop right dar. If any of
yo go on to argy dat de tutors and
pumpkins and squashes and onions in
my cellar am his Jest as much as mine,
yo'll git slch a dose of bird shot dat
yo'll linger In bed for three months
arterward. Let us now break de
meetin' in two and go home."
M. QUAD.
On the Job.
At a recent public meeting of retir
ing councilors In a certain ward In a
country town one of the speakers was
boasting that be could bring an argu
ment to a "p'lnt" as quick as any other
man.
On hearing this one of the audience
who was acquainted with the speaker
shouted out, "Aye, man, Sandy, and ye
can bring a quart tae a pint a guld bit
quicker." London Tit-Bits.
When a man has trouble with hl
stomach you may know that he U eat
ing more than he should or of some ar
ticle of food or drink not suited to his
age or occupation, or that his bowels
are habitually constipateJ. Take
Chamberlain's Stomach and Liver
7afcltn to rrT5't CBb twei and. im
prove th fixestttB 4 '
WHrtU &sm not Jtapra. Aisic for
frs samste. Pct si by Frank Hjtt
tending draggiata.
CLASSIFIED ADVERTISING.
irinjvyux
If you have a want that you wish to
dvtrtlif ttp to your nsarcit phone
nd "Phone It" to The Aitorlam. No
ned of waiting ( your tlms walking
blocks to do thing that oan be done
In your lmmdit surroundings. Call
up Main 661, k for tho want ad ds
ptitment which is at your rvios.
Pay or Niqhf
HELP WANTED.
MALE HELP WANTED MEN AND
women to Irani watchmaking, en
graving, Jeweler work, optics; euxy
terms; positions guarantred; money
made learning. Watchmaking-Engraving
School, 142S Fourth avenue, Seat
tle. It
WANTKD MANAOKIt FOR C'LAT
nop. Columbia and Tillamook Conn
ties. Must have $100.00 which will
soon be refunded. Agents make 15.00
lo $10.00 per d.iy. Hmin Mercantile
Co., Pun land, Oivgon.
WANTED COMPETENT GIRL TO
do housework. Coll at No. 46
Seventeenth St.
GIRL TO DO COOKINO AND KIT
chen work In small family; must
sleep home, good wages. 647 Frank
11a avenue.
WANTED SAJLESM KN . MANY MAKE
$100 to $160 per month. Some even
more. Stock clean; grown on Reser
vation, far from old orchards. Cash
advaaetd weekly. Choice of territory.
Address Washington Nursery Company,
Toppenisb, Washington. 9-tfi-tf
WANTED TWO GOOD 8TJB8CRIP
Uon solicitors to work. First class
proposition, good pay. Apply Astortaa
office
FOE EXIT
FOR RENT TWO FURNISHED
housekeeping rooms centrally loca
ted. 425 Duane Btr.
FOR RENT MODERN HOUSE FOR
rent First and Bond. 2-16-tf
FOR RENT SUITE OF FUR
nished house-keeping rooms, 677
Exchange street
LOST AND FOUND.
LOST PET CANARY BIRD FROM
227-10 St., Finder pbne return and
receive reward.
PROPOSALS.
OFFICE OF C. Q. M., VANCOUVER
Barracks, Wash., March 1, 1907.
Sealed proposals, in triplicate, will be
received here until 11 o'clock, a, m.,
April 1, 1907, for furnishing fuol, fuel
oil, dogfood and mineral oil, at posts
In this Department for the year end
ing June 80, 1908. Information fur
nished here or by quartermasters at
post U. S. reserves the right to reject
or accept any or all proposals, or any
part thereof. Envelopes containing
proposals should be marked: "Propo
sals for at ," addressed Sam,
R. Jones, C. Q. M.
PROPOSALS FOR BEEF AND MUT
ton Vancouver liarraoks, Wash.,
March, 18, 1907. Sealed propooals for
furnishing and delivering frpHh Iwef
and mutton for lx month bKlnnlni?
July 1, 1907, will be reolved here and
at offices of commlflaries at Fort Ste
vens, Ore., Boise Barrnr-ks, Idaho;
Forts Casey, Columbia, Flagler, Law
ton, Wulia Walla, Ward, -Worden,
Wright and Vancouver Barrack',
Wash., Until 10 a. m. April 17, 1907
and then opened. Envelopes contain -Ing
proposals should be Indorsed,"
"Proposals for fresh beef and mutton
to be opened April J7, 1907" and ad
dressed to commissary of post to be
supplied, or to Lt-Col. George Da
vis, Chief Corm'y.
Morning Astorlan, 60 cents a month,
Delivered by oarrier.
fl"! f l' BOABDINO.
CALL FOR WARRANTS.
CALL FOR WARRANT8 NOTICE IS
Hereby given to all parties holding
Cltttxop county warranti endorsed pri
or to Sept. IH, 1905, to present same
for payment to county Treasurer's of
fice No. 433 Commercial street. In
torent ceasos after this date.
WM. A. SHERMAN
Treasurer Clatsop County, Ore. DateJ
Astoria, Ore, March 7, 1907 1-7-10 t.
The
ft" Line
Steamer - Lurline
Night Boat for Portland and
Way Landings.
PA88ENQER8. FREIGHT.
Lesves Astoria dally txoept Sundsy st ,
, 7 p. m, !
Leaves Portland Dslly Except Sundsy
at 7 a. m.
Quick 8ervloe
Exoellent Mesla
Good Berths.
1
, . ......
. L'nd " Fl.v.l Wharf.
Landing Portland Foot Taylor St!
C. M. FOWLER, Agent.
Phons Main 2761.
CANADIAN PACIFIC
"EMPRESS" Lino of tho Atlantic
Nothing better afloat than our new
express steamers, "Empress of Brit
ain" and "Ktnpress of Ireland"
(14500 tons), Quebec to Liverpool!
in six nays; less than tour days at .
sea, Superior accommodations ;
available. Comfort, elegance and :
safety. Send for ilhistred booklet i
and sailing list. '
James F'r alyson, Agent Astoria Ora I
lit
416 BOND ST,
ASTORIA, OREGOJT
Carries the Finest Lisa of
I Wines,
and
Cigars
CALL AND SEE US I
t t ' .... ' 'A
THE OREGON
530-536 Commercial Street, between
lMoventh and Twelfth.
A8TOKIA, OREGON
MRS. M. NOLAN, Proprietress,
Rooms Single and Suites. ,
'l.a T1-. 117 1
aciuio, unj, routt or lUOIltD.
Steam Heat, Bath and telephone.
Telephone Red 2303.
II
i
BUSINESS DIRECTORY
TB LIYDi.
Rooms with or without board j
rates reasonable! good seeoni
uedatlon for trnnsleoU, 14th
and OowmeroUi.
. ,iiai)...iiLii.. jm.isiiJBiai.i,m ii imm j i.jsisi
TAPANIS GOOD
INEXPENSIVE
JAPANESE FIXINGS, MADE OF BAM
' BOO, LIGHT, STRONG, IAND
' MADE, TABLES, STANDS, CHAItS,
j WHAT-NOT!" "OKCASES, SHJXV.
j INO, ETC ' i '
! Yokohama Bazaar
!
C5 Commerrlsl Pt. Astoria.
e
HOUSE HOVERS.
FREDRECKwiN lUlOft-We make a
ipedalty of hoiue moving, carpenters,
contractors, genoral jobbing i prompt at-v
tentloo te all orders. Corner Tenth sad '
Duane. tf
HOTEL.
HOTEL PORTLAND
j Fines Hotel In the Northwest.
PORTLAND, ORI.
LATNDROS.
BUTTON HOLE AT THE BACX.
Your eiperienoe with It ae no doubt
lead to much vesatlon, possibly pro
fs nit y. Rroks your ftnrnall trying to
PV It up from ths nerk band, tat
You wont have that that siperienos If
you tend your shirts to oi we save yon
this trouble, and danger of tearing lbs
Alrt Try us and ses,
TROY LAUNDRY,
Tenth and Dtune Sta. Phone isoi
PROFESSIONAL CARDS.
OtTIOFATHIiTt.
DI. BJ0DA C. HICEJ
08TE0PATB
fflc Mansei, Bid. Phons Black !!
171 Commercial Bt, Astoria, Ore.
ATTORNEYS AT tAW.
JOHN C. McCUE.
Attornby-at-Law.
DEPUTY DISTRICT ATTORNEY
Page Bdg. Room 37.
HOWARD M. BR0WNCLL,
Attorney-at-Law.
Offloe with Mr. J. A. Eakln, at No. 42t
Commercial tt Astoria.
DENTISTS
Dk. vaugiian,
Dkntist
Py'biau UuilditiK, Astoria, Oregon. '
Dr. W. 0. LOGAN
IENTIS'l
Coamcrvial ft , Bhanslian Build
.. ... j
WINES, LIQU0BS AHD CI0AI1.
THE SAVOY
Popular Oonoert Hall,
Good rsuslc. All are woleom. (Jet
aer BeTratk ani Astor.
Eagle Concert Hall
320 Astor St.
The leading amusement house.
Agency for Edison Phonographs aai
Gold Moulded Records. '
' - P. A. PETERSON, Pnt
First Class Meal 15c
Coffee with Pie, Cake or Dough
nuts 10 cents. ,
U. S. RESTAURANT
434 Bond Street.