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About The morning Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1899-1930 | View Entire Issue (March 16, 1907)
THE MORNING ASTOMAN, ASTOMA, OREGON. Her Seme of justice Wouldn't Stand For It SATURDAY, MARCH 16, 1007, . '""TWO hundred dollars, please." I Too New York drawing room was crowdud with fiwblon lilo throng on I lie eve of departure. Tli hostess, standing near the door way, addressed her ronmrk to quiet, innocent looking liidy who was about to pass through nd who now viewed her with aatonliihmpnt, "Two hundred dollars!" alio exclaim ed. "Whnt fort" "That It your loas nt bridge 'for tba vmilug," salt) tba boston. "Hut," eiclalmml her gueat, "I bad no Irion that we wero playing for mor y. Why, I wouldn't do such thing. What ran you mcanT "You don't aupiMHw for ona Instant," aid tba IiimIimm haughtily, "that wa war playing for our health, do you? It l tho uaunl thing." ."But I lui rcu' t got the monoy with ma." Then you ran send ma a rbock-at OD('." Tba gueat, her sense of Justice fully amused by (ha ImjKMltlon practiced upon her, drew herself up proudly. "I am, aa ymi know, not long a real dent here," aha observed. "It seems to me nothing abort of roblxiry. Suppose I refuse to pay tbla money V Tba hoatas shrugged bar ahouldor meaningly, "If you do," alio replied, with a One, cutting contempt, "tbera W no hope for you. Prom tbla time forwnrd you will cease to be au honored and respected member of our sacred circle." Tom Maaaon In Judge. Horn lit Ik Wmii Trlvfc. Tba IrlNliuinn wanted to sell tba dog, bat the prospective buyer was sua ptctoua and Anally decided not to buy. Tba man then told bio why ha was ao anxious to sell. "You eta." be said, "I bought tho dog and trained htm my elf. I got. blin ao bo'd bark all the time If a poraoa atepped Inalda the rata, and I thought I waa aafa from burglars. Then my wife wanted me to train him to carry bundles, and I did. If I put a packet In bla mouth the doit would keep It thorn till aorae ouo took H.away. Well, ouo night I woke up tad heard some one In the neit room. I got up and grabbed my gun, Tbey war there throe of the scoundrel and the dog." -Didn't he harkf Interrupt! the man. "Horry a bark; he waa too busy." -Buayl What dolngr Tarrying a lantern for the bur flare."-'Dublin Freeman. Jakn (hlMiuin. A prominent Inriy In Sun Krnnclsco engaged n Chinaman aa cook. Wheu the Celestial came, niuoug othor things ahe aaked blm bla name, "My 11111111'." mild the Chtnuman. smiling, "Ik II huh NIioo Wang Mo." "Oh, I can't remember nil thnt," aald tho Indy. "I will Just call you John." John smiled nil over am! asked: "What your muiiee?" "My iiamo la Mrs. Franklin rrcaton Benton." "Mo no 'member nil that," said Jotni. "C'hlnniniin be no nancy Mm. Franklin Preston Itenton. I call yon Tommy." riarper's Weekly. Sr)f SnerlAre, WO BIG BARGAIN'S J2? No. 1. 230 acres just a short ways back of town on hillside. $25 AN ACRE CASH. This land is worth $75 an acre today. Will bring double that amount in six months. Must be sold quick and at a. sacrifice as the owner needs money. ' This is your chance to make some money. Full particulars at our office. A good chance for a bunch to get together and make some money. No. 2. The first man to our office this morning with $800 cash can buy the biggest bargain that has been offered in Astoria for some time. We can almost guarantee the man who gets this piece of property a profit of $1,600 in less than six months, Must show that you mean business before you get the particulars about this. You will have to hurry be cause the first man is sure to buy it. We have a dozen good buys where you, can double your money in a short time. NOW IS THE TIME TO BUY. Come see us, we will put you on. REAL ESTATE, INVESTMENTS. 495 Commercial Street, Near 11th. Phone Red 2241. ASTORIA, OREGON.Jj , ' .. ; Mr. Dodger (heroically) Here, you tuko the umbrella, Maria. Never mind about me! Mack uuri White. Not tli Nnv I'.nulnnil Variety. "Oh, they're real swell people," aald the Chicago man, "nn old 'Mayflower family.' I believe,"' "Yon mean their uuccstora ciinie over lu the Mayflower?" asked the visitor from the east. "t)b, no! 1 mean thpy mado their money In 'Mayflower hams,' oldest brand o' bams lu this aeetlon." Oatho Ho Standard and Times. , . Two In On. Winter. C. E. Emerson, of Fltzwllllam, N. II.. had two attacks of pneumonia In one winter. Ha writes that two physlcl ana aald he could not recover from the last attack. After they bad riven up hope he began taking; Foley'a Honey and Tar, which brought Mm out all right He wrltea that he aurely thinks Foley'a Honey and Tar la the grandest remedy for throat anJ lung trouble. T. F. Laurln, Owl Drug Store. All Kluhl Kimv. "I bear, Mulligan, that your .alslei Mary Ih going to -marry Patsy O'H.i gnu." "She Ik." "I thought you and blm was Ine mlos." "We was, but we've had our tight"- Chicago Uccovd-Heruld. Nature's Sweet Restorer The tired body and brain rest and recuperate during sleep. There ia remarkable capacity for bard work ao lonir as the sleeping hours are regular and the alumbera are not disturbed by bad dreams, stomach disorders or headache. When mental atrain, nervous worry or over-fatigue causes aleeplessneBs, take SSeechanu EaU an hour before retiring, and natural sleep will soon come to your relief. These pills are purely vegetable and cure sleepless ness bv regulating the important functions of the body. Tbey contain no narcotic nor sedative. Their action is natural, pleasant and safe. ' Aa a tonic and restorative in all cases of overwork, brain fag, nervousness and worry, they have no equal. Beecham'a Pills equalize the circulation, carry the blood from the weary brain, rest the mind and Bring Balmy Sleep In Box. lOe and SSo. with full dlr.otlone. Moral Snobbery. One of the commonest forms of snob blNlmes Is not social at all, but moral. Many people are moral suolm who have not a grain of social ambition. When Napoleon said, "I am above mo rality," he not only gave expression to what some jjreat people have secretly (bought about Uieinselvos, but to what thousands of their small admirers buve openly said of them. They do not reflect, perhaps, ns they justify their heroes, that to declare any one In tho world above morality Is to say that morality has ceased to exist, has been found out .".nil exploded, uothlng re maining but some utilitarian rules suit able for the guidance of mediocre minds. The moral law must be su preme or nowhere. Yet this, as It sevms to us, self evident proposition Is by no means easy to apply. Most of us feel that for any ono to lay too much stress upon tho moral shortcom ings of a great man Is a sign, of a small mind or at least of a defective education. We do not habitually speak of Nelson in respect of Lady Hamilton, of Burns In respect of, his. marriage, of Bacon In the matter of tls proved corruption, of Coleridge In connection with his opium habit or of Charles Lamb In bla cups aa wo should speak of Smith, Brown and Robinson In like circumstances. Must we, then, admit ourselves to be moral snobs? The prima facie evidence Is very much against us. London Spectator. Gently move the bowels and at the aame time stops the cough. Bee's Laxative Cough Syrup. Contains Hon ey and Tar. No opiates. Best for coughs, colds, and whooping cough. Satisfaction guaranteed. Mothers in dorse It Children like it Frank Hart's Drug Store. V . ' , X GerWous MiaeK ' A great many years ago there resid ed In Marseilles an old man named Ouyot He was known to every Inhab itant, and every urchin in the street could point him out as a niggard In his dealings and a wretch of the ut most penury In his habits of life. From bis boyhood this old man had lived In the city of Marseilles and, although the people treated him with . scorn and hatred, nothing would Induce him to leave It Wheu he walked the street he was followed by a crowd of hootlnir boys who often threw stones and mud at turn. There was no one to speak a kind word In his favor. He was re garded by all as an avaricious old miser whose life was devoted to hoard ing op gold. At last the old man died. and It was found that be had laid ud a great fortune. He left' a will which read, "Havjng observed from my In fancy that the poor of Marseilles are 111 supplied with water, which can only oe procured at a great price. I have cheerfully labored the whole of my life to procure for them this great blessing, and I direct that the whole of my property shall be expended In buUdlng u aqueduct for their use." No Case on Reoord. There la no case on record of a cough or oold resulting in pneumonia or con sumption after Foley'a Honey and Tar has been taken, as it will stop your cough and break up your cold quickly. Refuse any but the genuine. Foley's Honey and Tar in a yellow package. Contains no opiates and ia safe and sure, T. F. Laurln, Owl Drug Store. THE TRENTON First Class LJqwors and Cigars. 602 Ccjmmerdal Street. Corner Commercial and J4th Astoria, Oregon. It flows like fire through your veins it does the work. If you're wasting away day by day, take Holllster's Rocky Mountain Tea. 35 cents, Tea or Tablets, Frank Hart i us A Mwak'na atvnift alt Iwa alL raiadi oi dwl money cu buy fflanai inatguM ire mds of t)w be mateiul olxuuUg fa the purpott. Tntr tra (troo. Ind , ind work under all coocfia'ont. T breech block ud working Prt cu ra teeJ drop-ofutf I the bmeh o( .penal rolled Heeler of" Sped JSmokelen Steel." - The Knee of 7arlA Kotsunt us pleuinj the twluc it perfect . They pttten perfectly tmi hem wonderful penetration. 1 PcJid top udade eviction annulet? lad ccoAxt. Thiiiltbl ua you hawj beea oeediaf . ; Seod M cent, ft our catalogue, which explaim erery ff2arSj$ ia detail and btul of oOet.liiaUe iua lot. , v NewHttrea, Coma. 7jfo77Zarin firearms Co. . iwhi