j SUNDAY, MARCH . 1M7. THE MORNING ASTOMAN. ASTORIA, OREGON. M.CIam Interviews Astasia 5 in 191 M.Roosevelt ,QOG (Copyright, 1900, by I. 8. Clin..) (M. Clitm, tliu renowned I'urlalun Journalist, In Invited to cull nt tho Whllfl Ilnumt, unil H la wllli aatonlNli. tneiit tlmt lio writes to Vmum of 'nix Interview wllli M. Uimm-vcli,) WAKHINOTON, U, H March 2.- 1 ahull now tell to I lie people of France mm h tlmt I can not understand f thut trmrvoloiia M. Ilooaevolt, Pres. blent of the t'nlted Htalea, A few daya before, 1 flirt receive otm command to attend the reception of M, rtiiiim-vill wi thnt White House. KiiKnily I iirnfiiiroil for It, With thoiia. ands of ComrriNMimtn, lobby lata, mil olbw groat Americana, ! preaautod my i iinl mnl wa placed In on.i long II mi. My hnrt did leap when I did aen lloom vi'lt shaking thoae hnrtilH, poking tlio lib of thoo great nimi and smil ing with nil hl teeth. Boon I utourt ( before him, Turning from una senator, M. Rooanvtdt did mm tti. Haoie! Th. hair of inn did mini upwind when thoc eyes did strike inn) Alao 1 had dlaturbnm-e when M. Rooaevelt did kive mo ono complete smile. anld; "Ilii! Ha! How ar.t you, M. Clam! (,'diiiii to xcr inn! ( will talk with ynu' I to ready! Ar.. you a good IniHlmiid nnd father? Ai you worth your imlt? liok out!" TIiumq people behind me All I'uwti me away. M, Hooaevclt did rub another one by the hand and any: "Ha! Po-llhtd to nod you B.niuor! Your speech It waa the corker! For ono hour I did wander among thna if r nnd Americans of ronowu. Hum I did Congrtaamen from mighty cltte; cattlemen who own rnll Itona of acres of tho public land; sher. Iff from the Texas atate; Ono bil lionaire of th Aiaaka; M. Dooloy, of (rhlrngo; colonel of those governor' tsffa moit brilliantly uniformed; that nw literary hero, M. tTrlah Clapaad ll Hoggi. the author of that beat Ml lor. "The Lynch of Lawrence L. Lan caater," Alao many Intoxicating American Mlea, with cnlffurea more dmillng than thou Chrlatmaa treea. Almoat I waa daa-d with greatness and beauty when I did return to my pension. Three duya afterwarda I did receive thla polite note: "My dear Clam: The Praaldent will talk to you at the i:t Oo'rloek. Brace youraelf, old man. LORD." I'rerlaely nt the 4:3 OoVlock I did appear nt the executive nfllco. Thla la one amnll building near that White ltniimv To me It appears without the dignity of m griind republlr, yet nil Americana do tell me It la lh ahrewd polltlca to Know altnpilflty. They any It doea fool amtte of thomi voters. Vet If all Americana did understand how It doea fool them, how they are fooled? Thla to me, In moat pc-rplexInK. IIundliiK my, cant to the Negro Amerlcnn attendant, I waa received M. I.oeb, with ono embrncv, Ho anld: "M. Itooaovelt will aoon be ready. Only twomy-xlx vlaltora remain." I did hoar thoao doora alum and the RhuMIng of feet. In llvo mlnutea, ono door opened, and M. Itooaovelt did approach, "Welcome! M. Clam, he anld," With warmth "no did em brace mo. "Como, you!" Ho aald. I did follow him to the private cab inet. Inaldo one atenographer dll atnnd, with book and pencil. "Excuae me, you!" aald M. Itoosevolt to mo. I did bow politely, yet M. Rooaevelt did not aeo mo. He waa dictating to that atenographer. He aald: "Take thla, you! M, Sclplo Snod grnaa, rroaldont Afi'o-Amerlcan Rooaevelt league, Columbua, Ohio State: My dear M. Snodgrosa: It la Impoaalblo for mo to attond tho ban quot prepnred for me. Tot, my heart la with you. All men should bo good and fathera, If they are worth the salt. Alao, all men should pull tholr own weight. In tho long run all comoa Vlown to thla. We must treat all men alike, or much more bo If poaalble. Toura truly.' Alao take this telegram: 'Ills MaJosty Mutsuhlto, Tokyo: Eve rything bully. California knuckles. Thanks for war soare. Two big battle alilps secured. Whon you want me to threaten war, Juat command me. T. r: i Also tWa telegmm: 'Wright, American Ambassador, Tokyo: Jell Mutsuhlto to lot up on war talk. We've got ay we want. T. R.' Send for Taft. Toll Shaw to come over In five minutes. Tell Loob to have reporters to como back at five. We'll have an other sensation for thoao papers. Now jtny dear Clam while I change my clothes, let us have the quiet chat. What do you think of those new dis coveries In Jerusalem. u one 495 Commercial M. Rooaevelt did whisk off thoao clothos and reach for his riding Jack et. I said: "To me, M. le President, those discoveries, " "Exactlyl Hal You, M. Clam, shall see! Juwt wait till Taft comoa! Yet, excuae nie, you!" Soon M. Roosevelt disappeared returning with those riding breeches! Almost I thought of prestldlgatlon! Alao M. Taft did appear. "Ha! you, Bill!" said M. Roosevelt, with the smile. "What did thoae Son atora any? do you got tho appropria tion?" M. Taft did reply: "I did try hard if "Walt!" said M. Roosevelt, with the acowl. "Tell Senator Cullom to come In!" M. Cullom did appear, with a taunted look. He did whisper to M, Rooseveut. "Yea, Yes!" said M. Roosevelt, very loudly. "Yet, this man Jones Is the crook, I cannot give him that Job, Senator. Yet, if you have one good man for minister to Slam, I Bhall ap point him. But we must have that appropriation for Hawaii You prom ise it? Bully 1" With smiles M. Rooaevelt did grasp M. Cullom with both 'nands and shove him outward. "Where, Bill, is that message you were to write?" asked M. Roaevelt. M. Taft did hand over one paper, at which M. Roosevelt made one glance. Setting the pen, he said; "You do not put the' ginger in, Bill! I shall add: 'You, Congress, forget that I am re sponsible to those people. Fall to pass this bill at your perill You are cow No Oar Hi REAL ESTATE, INVESTMENTS. Street, Near 11th. Phone Red 2241. ards! ' There! Now make copies for thoao reporters, and toll them not to say whore they got them. What does that Third Term League say now?" M. Taft says: "They say you must not refuse to be President more," "Bully! Here, you!" That sten ographer jumped; Take this: "M. Richard Hlgglna, President Roosevelt Third Term League, Chicago: I shall do something desperate if you Insist upon making me candldae for Presi dent again. I defy all you people In" these United States to make me Pres ident. Yours Trulyl There! That will make the agitation greater. These people will never be satisfied until they do conquer me, if they think I am defying them. Loeb! Loeb!" M. Loeb appeared. "Loeb, get those j gloves, and hold the watch. Mill, take your corner!" M. Roosevelt did don those boxing gloves. M. Taft, with agitation did also put on the gloves and stand ready. "As I was saying to M. Clam," said M. Roosevelt, Fits overlooked one beautiful stroke in his fight with Jeff. For example! Biff!" "Biff!" "Biff!" "Biff-blft!" ' M. Taft did throw up his hands. "I got it," tie laid with faintness. "I see the point." M. Roosevelt said: "You now, M. Clam, where FJtt mavle the blunder. When Jeff made that left hoofc, Jttt should have sidestepped and undercut. ' If he had done that history would now j have been different In these United; BUY BffiT M Wo States. Oh, sometimes I wish, but we can't all have our wish.. All men cannot be champions of the world." M. Roosevelt sighed with pensive melancholy. Yet, soon he did cheer upward again. "Is Elihu here?" he asked. Instantly M. Root appeared. "Ha, yoiu!" cried. M. Roosevelt, smiling. "What new scheme today, Elihu?" M. Root did glance toward me much as to say I was the stranger. "Nevfcr mlnd never mind," said M. Roosevelt. "You know all men who do talk of their affairs, are liars. Yet M. Clam he cannot write of the affairs American, If he does not know me. What's up, Elihu r "One cablegram says Nicaragua and Honduras wish to quarrel," replied M. Root. "Yet, I ' think it does not amount to much." "You make that mistake! Tell Met calf to send one battle ship to that spot! Also, make the peace overtures. Ask M. Dias to Join us in preserving the peace, if we fight for it. Thus, we shall have the credit for all. How El ihu, can you be so stupid? Have you prepared those demands upon the, Sultan?" "What demands?" "Why Elihu! Didn't I tell you to make the bellicose note to Turkey, and to give it to those reporters when I was not looking? If I did not, I meant to. How can we keep up tne navy if we do not keep it busy before Con gress adjourns? Bah!" "But M. le President I have great business Interfering with the Congo!" Compamiy "Ah, yes, yes! Tell, me, have we got well mixed up in that affair?" "Yes, soon we shall have more news for those reporters." "Bully! You, Elihu are the brick. Yet do not be too cautious. Stir up those animals! The whole world Is before you. Keep those ships moving. Good-bye! Look here my dear Clam!" Quickly I did look out of that win dow. "Do you see that nest? Well, is that the nest of one robin, or the scar let breasted tanager? You do not Today I did hear the note of that Ag know? Bah! It is neither! Listen! ricultulus Simpsonii, yet snow is on the ground'.' What do you think of that? Ha! You have astonishment! You M. Clam are the corker. Write down for me what! you think of our American birds, also, our fishes. I have delight to chat with one who has studied deeply. Good-bye Bill! Keep at those Senators till you get it You, Elihu, must stir up those diplomats. Ah, Cabot!" With pleasure M. Roosevelt embraced M. Cabot Lodge, who appeared with riding breeches and coat M. Lodge did bow to me politely. "I was telling M. Clam my dear Ca bot, that Franklin signed the treaty with France in 1798 instead of 1797," said M. Roosevelt "Am I right r "Why, certainly, M. le President," replied M. Lodge warmly. "You are always right, especially after you have talked it oTer with me flrat." . "There!" exclaimed M. Roosevelt, with delight. What did I tell you dear Clam? Next time, will you presume ASTORIA, OREGON J to dispute my memory of history? Never mind you need not apologize. We all make mistakes. Cabot you! How can we keep this Thaw case from taking the limelight from us?" "Well," replied M. Lodge, rubbing the chin of him, "you know, Theodore, that Congress will adjourn soon. We have done very well I think." "Never mind! I Bhall hit upon something?" Come! Let us take the ride." "Oh, M. le President!" said M. Loeb. "Do you forget those reporters? it is the 5 o'clock, and they wait for the Bensation!" "Let me see! Tell them that or ders have been given to send war ships somewhere. Telephone to Metcalf to look wise and say nothing. Those re porters will do the rest. Come Cabot! My dear Clam you have given me de light. Come to see me, and we shall chat some more of that ancient Gaelic revival, also of the race suicide. Presto! Alone I stood! With as tonishment I found my way out of that office executive. Was I dreaming? I looked into that tree. Yes, there waa that bird's nest. It was all true. Yet, much as I think of those things more am I perplexed that I offend M. Roose velt with my ideas of those discoveries in Jerusalem? What will he think of me, if I make the mistakes In histo ry? Is he angry with me when I cay something about those birds? Ahl Almoat I can understand now, how many good men turn out to fro liars when they go up against II. Roosevelt CLAM.