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About The morning Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1899-1930 | View Entire Issue (Feb. 10, 1907)
I3UNDAY, FEBRUARY 10, 1007. TUB MORNING ASTORIAN, ASTORIA, OREGON. fo. Clam Interviews CLASSIFIED ADVERTISING. Three WAHIIINUTON, V. R, i'Vh, U.To- luy It In my urunil ilimHui' in HI t(i 'rutico or my vUli in thrw or tlmv iii'inlMm n( llio ciililiml nf M Rous, v 1 1 . Nt'Vt-r did I Iwvp ihi) tiiok ti m li'llnlltflll, AlltKlflt ftnnii. nf Ihi, Mi. hlnitN whli'li 1 illil Iciini nrc ion kwmI it bo InitJ, All IhoHij nii'tnlii'in d( Ihc .Turps Kxni'Ullvn lire Ki'lllli HH'tl llionl t(Tiii', klll, III puli(H ami loyiil II M. RlmNl'Vl'll Mlli'll III' In WI'IIIIK. flr I liii'l tiiikdl In inmiy Hcimtor , did think M. Hiiiiwi'Vrll tvim iiUvuy VTOIIjJ. Yet, lll'IMu t'ilbllH't MtlllMlliI'M In Ml tun linn M. Ilimm vult l ilK'it ii i-vi-ryihliiif. Tli'-lr rt'imuii H Hi i it ,nt eiiiMilw. Tin)' Kiiy l)i riuumt lo vr'iiix! IIk doi'n not ktrnw liuw! Ii Three dnyH ln-foiu yrtrduy I did m:'lvw ihi tlulrn polUt. imtn from .1, Kllhu Hoot, ihi- rWrHuiy f th tliiti'; ' .... 1. .. , ..... ... U..II I St'tj Ilia 1 ill n I natt mum, (Villi lOlil'lllll'KK. All Ul'Wl illiillillN uw fin III lliul WIiIIk H'Min", mill I .to Hoi nit ilniii iiinif. ArTi'iUiiiiiHi'ly, HOOT. L InHtiinlly t ill'l rfl rrnw for my niuly frli'iol M. H'Mii, I liuirh'il lo Unit oiiurtimiil. All rlnkn were l't- if. wlUi tlto mli'p r u n lit K ov r lln-lr wpt. I'nllli'ly 1 iiwnkn oiin i'liviilr unrJ. wlui i".ii'lu -1 -. I m uiiiii1 to tut i.-nhliKl of M. H'i'it. Thi-i o- Wro Atiicrlriin uwuki'iii'il. who nirled my iud to M Hoot, n the tpioo h r.Huniii'1. wlih th IliiK.-r on hi) lip, "Ho in lukiiiK the nu," uild 3d alt"inl'iiii. Then I dhl o nwity fur one hur. jvhin I rt'turiifil, I wn no fortunnir to ml M. Itimi iiwnkn. Wlih ilmmur l!e embraced. Ho nld: H Miiu' u niiiiii hiiv I In- chut my lend. Ii l hmif "l' 1 "w '"u "' he reception of M. Kutrtm nk. Jm iiu ttttPiid the wptlnim of nil thiini1 LtnitMntvH for I'rinhl.n? If . whut o you li'irnT' My rfply: "It U viry dlitUult to j -nrn murh of thin Airu'rlran iimn of I iHtklnif the I'roiililfiiiy. All thn rnn- lldiitm Jo u"k nuentlon hut thoy nn- wer f?. yet evil tlmiip HiiHwcm rend o(h wiiyn, ThU. to one who upetik he KiiKHh wl'h woimmy. mnke er lexlty. Yt l'll me, dmr friend, did ou huvp ilfiimir In th t'unaduT" HI reply: "Ah, yen, thiit m de ghtful! Tliono (umilliinn nre no lm etuoun, no hol-hlooiled with iiffertlun ir Aimrlni! My vlll, M. fliun, wntt urely mirhil. I did not lalk the illplo Wry to liny one who did not know lit, except to thoi reporter". Soon, jlmpe, one treiily will remilt from thut ,iin vtrttt. Yet thin l the necundiiry iuiiUT. I'lrHt, tilvviiyH in unit Kruno. iiiKHlon of frleudMhlp which iilwny 'XIhIh hetweell the cloM.t nelKhlmr. j'ou, my friend, know how the 1'nuue mil (icnniiny huiiKir for Ihe closer i'liUlon." ! AlmoHt I thoiiKht M. Hoot did Jet fyllh me, hut no! II In f uo illd glow Vi nrectlnn for the Cuniula. H avoided iltscUMlon of the Ui i affection which does make rtK 1 1 1 " nn 11 1 y the Wirnve nnd aermany huiiKvr for the Uier, I euld: iIow much belter whh the affection t thoiirt CunndlanN to you tlmn the uImo affection of M. Rwetteiilmin to Jour admiral?" I His reply: "Ah, do not make the lilKtuke, M. Clam! M. Swettenham Ih W affecllnnate. Ho thought he did lot love um, yet now he m-cs the ml 'uke. rerhops he did think we want ;d the Jamaica. Hah! Always we ontrol the appetite. We want only yhnt we can trot. How, foollHh to have jhe Idle wIhIush! America and Great jtrltnln underHtand everything well, I hlnk." I gald: "You, M. Hoot, have the iinellneH? I have sorrow for you!" His reply: "Ah, thanks, my friend! 'es, since those diplomats do wrestle nd box and play tennis with M. Koose olt, all Is quiet In this Department. Llmost I an driven to dlstrnctlon. Tet have devised one or two plans for making the agitation. One plan Is to Innex the San Domingo for fifty years )ne other Is to Intervono In the Congo or the rescue of those poor blacks. Ways these United States have pity for the black people. We have ten fnlllon blacks here, with great pro )lems. Yet wo have desire to regu late those blacks of San Domingo and I he Congo. Do you, M. Clam, know Sf older blacks who should be rescued ? Speak, my friend? It would be kind iiess to me If you would mention more opportunity for me to keep busy." I said: "Perhaps thou Hottentots kave been massacred by the German foldlers?" ( His reply: "Ah. that Is dlplomatl- fcaly one case very different. How can Cabinet tliemi United HI ii I ih Interfere with the (trial power llk fieniiiiny? If I MhouM do llilx, M. Hpe'.k mllil heroine no iiiigiy nx to knock out HooHevelt In (lie lli'Xl IioxIiik hout. N", no! ThoNit propi let Inn muni ho olmurvml. We "hull Inleifetu only with the wiuull mi tloiiH. When they (In mlMlrt'iit thone poor hliu ku, our howen of compiin moil do li'll with IlidlKliulloi. Yet If (lel'IOUM( wlwllCH to liiHNsai'ro I llOWl lloUeiitiilM, that Ih not In olir uptime of llilluelice. All llllllKM lit lie illplo. Iiliti y IIIIIMt he (loin, decently," I Mit 1 ' I : "I in 1 1 1 in,. o iiiukn the Kiand miKKeHlloii, M. Hool. Why do yu not he unit ( ui,iiiiii fur thq J'renl deiicy? Then you could get lmny." Ill reply: "Ah, my dear Clum, I do vi. iiieii UmiI plun. It In not the Htli'i'chK In niy ciimi, TIlOHe people do lint uii'l' iKhiii'l me, They think I inn cold -1. Kllhu Hool, with my piinHloii Hte liiiture! ('mi liny nut ne how with yearning I sailed to vllt our hv lug lnlt-i k of tint Mouth America? Al iiliml I embraced all public men of Ihiil hemlHpliere. Then I hurry to On ulil fur more wiirni emtu aceN. Yet llley Buy, "Hool, he Ih Ihi' cold prepo ItlUoll. He III io lOimel'VlltlVe, loo enol, to In- our I'l'etililent, W'h tllUHt li.iv.. I In- hot blood, llie ijulik tllKKer. No, I hhull nut he the ciindldiile. Come, I' I nx talk to tillll." With pleilHIIIe I did Kn with M. Hool. down thai corridor to the I lepartment iif Wur. Hero nil wua the liUKtlo, the em Itemeiit of i'''i;niiiiM und menm ii girn. AIiiiiihI I thought of war ex cltemeiil, hut M. Hoot did iissure me it wim only the polities. We entered the mhliici of M. Tuft. Lying hack III out, huge chair wait one nHKiilllrent KetlllemiUI of the blonde Hex, InoHl Bt- trucilvely smiling. Instiintly he rolled "vr und canic to Ills feet. "My dear Kllhu!" he exchilmed. "C'onm In, come In! wlih you do not Introduce, It Is untie-imuiry with you Is M. Clum! To know you, M. Clum, Is my delight. I have rend your suiMrb letters on the affair American with much Instruc tion." Here M. Tift did embrace me. Al- inont I expectej t( die from that hug. I hill pleiiHure to receive bin pralne. t said, when my breuth did return: "It Is thrlt'u agreeable to meet you, M. Tiifi, In company with M. Hoot. He Is the lllelunchul) innn, yet you can do much to make him happy." His reply: "Ah, yes! Many times 1 try to Mir up the questions Interna tloiml to relieve my friend of the en nui. How can I serve you, Kllhu?" M. limit said: "You, my deur Hill, are good to me. lo you think you in make a Utile more trouble with the Julian'.' Hlnco M. Sweitenham did disappear all Is too quiet. Help me, dear colleague!" M. Tuffs reply: "With vleasure! I Hhull iiwk M. Hoosevelt to do some thing desperate, ('ouwgc dear Kllhu! KiH!"!h!nB will happen ', If Vt huve energy!" M. Hool did excuse himself, with with thanks, and said: "Now 1 Hhull eturn to that lethal chamber. I, dear Hill, am the hermit of the cabinet." "Poor Kllhu!" exclaimed M. Tuft, looking at his retiring colleague, "Ah, alt men cannot be candidate for the Presidency!" I said: "You, U. Taft, wish to be come President?" His re;ily: "M. Roosevelt's wish Is my du!; M. Clam. I shall do what he wishes. First, permit mo to thank you for your kind words of M. Roose velt. In Ibis world, when Senators and cruel newspapers speak of blun ders, almost I have despair to kee up with M. Roosevelt. Yet I try hard to prevent the blunder. After, I am al ways rendy to explain how It was not the blunder, but the stroke of unmedi tated genius. You, M. Clam, have per ceived this, and I have gratitude for your kindness to M. Roosevelt. One moment I must woep for my chief!" M. Tuft did turn aside, weeping. I had distress to watch his sorrow. Yet soon he did dry the tears, and one fierce aspect of nnger elevated mus tache and flashed the eye of him. He said: , "It, Is the work of M. Foraker! He Is to blame it all nogroea hate M. RooscVeli; Yet he shall suffer. J. Roosevelt shall use me as one club to brain this Insolent Senator. It I per ish, I perish. Yet Joe Foraker shall be crushed, too," I said: "You, then are one candl date If M. Roosevelt wishes?" f His reply: "That Is true. For my self, I wish to be one Judge, yet re luctantly I will be President It M. Roosevelt thinks this will most pun ish Joe Foraker. Also, I cannot be judge while old man Fuller hangs on." Members - I sold: "If you cumiol be the Chief luilgii of that Hupreme Tribunal why do you not make M. Roosevelt the Chief Judge when you are President?" M. Tufi's face did light u;i Instantly with the happy smile. "This," ho said, "Is the Idea splendid! You, M. Clam, am the genius! Why did we not think of thut ? Old man Fuller, hn cannot outlive both M. Roosevelt and myself. He must surrender to one of us, M. Roosevelt would be one Ideal chief Judge, lin Is so coriHervatlvV, yet often Inspired by bursts of unmeditated genius, 1 shall tell to M. Roosevelt Hits plan. Nothing, 1 think, would please him better than u furnish fresh Ideas to that Hupreme Tribunal." Constantly M. Taft was Interrupted by the telephone, the telegraph, and the messengers with cards. All people who think M. Taft Is to be President are very busy making friends with liliti. Willi sighs he dispatched much business. I said: "Hut, M. Taft, If all those Cabinet (illlcem except M. Root are candidates for the Presidency, how shall they find time to do lliu public business?" Ills reply: "One other Cabinet of ther Is not the candidate. Thut Is M. Jf lit i Wilson, of the Agriculture Becre taiy. I'or why? Hu was born In the Hcittlapid, and cannot, 1m Prerihfcent. It Is the law! Only the brains sprout ed on American soli are capable of understanding the In and outs of the politics. No man can be President who docs not. know the politics. Al most t would be anarchy, I think, If one not a politician should become President. Now I shall give you the note to M. Wilson. First, promise me, M. flam, to dine with me. 1 have de sire to talk with one gentleman who U not grinding the ax on myself." Instantly, of course, I made the con tract to dine with M. Taft. I had ad miration fr him more and more. Such a magnlflclent, great man, so loyal to M. Roosevelt, even to face the Presi dency for him! Morbleu! Oficn uch stout friends are not always found In this world! Also, M. Taft has the Joviality, the sympathy! If the plump, clear skin of him should be punctured, tho milk of human kindness would spurt very much out, I think. M. Taft did give to me this kind note: "Iear Winner Jim: My dear friend M. Chun writes of the affairs Ameri can. Next to the Presidency, the most Important affair Is that American hen. Tell to him nil you know. He will tell the Prance all about the hen nnd her glorious work for America. Your friend. RILL TAFT." Kxcuslng myself politely to M. Taft. I hastened past the Monument which M. Washington made for himself. In the Department of Agriculture one clerk did conduct me to that chicken yard. There I did find one elderly gentleman In the shirtsleeve, chafing one speckled hen with engerne8. With perspiration und putting he received me. He did read M. Taft's note. Then with politeness, he wild: "I have pleasure to meet you. M. Clam. Yet, excuse me one moment, please. The business Is business." Instantly he did start again to catch that hen. She ran toward me, and with exertion I did assist to catch her. M. Wilson then did attach one tag to her leg, nnd patting her on the head he said to her: "Now, biddy, do your best. You are the mainstay of the Republic." He opened her mouth nnd slipped In one small pill. Instantly that speckled hen did run to her nest with the Important look. M. Wilson snld: "I have fault M. Clam with my friend Tftft. He says the Presidency is more Important than the hen. Bah! You shall see! In these United States we have one billion of hens. They lay us eggs which would pay for one hun dred of Presidents! Yet we have food for billions of hens more. How to have more hens, also how to Induce them to lay more eggs that is the question more Important than any other question. In America. Do you Bee that speckled hen? I have given her the pill I have invented after months of great labor, In half an hour I hope she will lay one egg with two yolks. Already she has laid one common egg today. If she does lay the second dou ble egg, I shall instantly ask M. Roose velt for tho order executive compelling all people to give the pills to all hens. Also, I shall ask M. Roosevelt to ln- srruct that Congress to make the ap propriation for egg pills. Thua one part of the great American question will be solved. Prosperity? Bah I Those people do hot yet understand what prosperity we shall have, if that (Continued on Page 10.) WANTED A SEAMSTRESS plain and fancy sewing, also dressmaking. News from Want-Adville HELP WANTED. WANTED THE SERVICES OF A strong boy who wants to learn the confectionary business. Must not be afraid to work. Apply Hoefler's Con fectionary store. tf WANTED GENTLEMAN OR LADY to travel for mercantile house of large capital. Territory at home or abroad to suit. If desirable the home may be used as headquarters. Week ly salary of $1,000 per year and ex penses. AdJrcss Joseph A. Alexander, Astoria, Ore. l--8t WANTED SALESMEN. MANY MAKE 1100 to $150 per month. 8on even more. Stock clean; grown on Reser vation, far from old orchards. Ossb advanced weekly. Choice of territory. Addres Washington Nursery Company, Toppeniah, Washington." 8-28-U WANTED TWO GOOD SUBSCRIP Uon solicitors to work. First class proposition, good pay. Apply Astorlan office. THREE SALESMEN FOR OUR NEW County, Township and Railroad Sur veys of Oregon. These surveys are a splendid com'plllatlon of facts, fig ures and drawings and of wonJerful value. Counties and towns are fully Indexed and population of each given; railroads plainly shown and distances between all stations also shown; con gressional districts outlined, number ed and populations given. Other fea tures too numerous to mention. A splendid opportunity for energetic men. Rand, McNally & Co., Chicago. 111. 2-8" MALE HELP WANTED MEN AND women to learn watchmaking, en graving, jeweler work, optics; easy terms; positions guaranteed; money made learning. Watchmaking-Engraving School, 1426 Fourth avenue, Seat tle. WANTED LARGE FIRSt-CLASS house of twenty-five years' standing, manufacturing a staple line of goods in constant and dalnly use, wants a good man to manage branch whole sale business. Salary, $1,800 per year and all expenses, payable monthly. Also extra commissions which should amount to more than salary. Appli cant must furnish good references and $2,000 cash, which Is satisfactorily se cured. Address President, 612 S. 6th St., St. Louis, Mo. SITUATIONS WANTED. GOOD GIRL WANTS POSITION TO do general housework. Address A, 10, Astorlan office. WANTED POSITION AS COOK IN logging camp by two women. Ad dress A. 9, Astorlan Office, 2t FOR KE3TT TO RENT HOUSE WITH 5 ROOMS. Inaulre Astorlan office. 2-10-tf FOUR FURNISHED ROOMS FOR rent for light housekeeping. Inquire of Fred Shemann, 26 Astor St. 2-2-7t FOR RENT TWO NICE ROOMS, with good table board. Inquire at the Holden House. 2-9-6t ! lOSCELTJUfXOTJS. NOTICE I HAVE PURCHASED the Palm restaurant, Astor street, from Vincent SUckllch, and have tak en charge of the same, and I will not be responsible for any debts hereto fore owed by former proprietor. John Leftre. - FOR ITTLH 8Ister Wilkerson Was handy with the needle. Tucks and darts and hems and gores She certainly could wheedle. Out of, Into, any goods, She always dressed most tasty. Brother Wilkerson, he died, Pneumonia rather hastyt All thg sisters of her church Exchanged surprise and wonder, As to bow she'd get along. She got along by thunder Went to live In Want-Advllle, Where seamstresses were wanted. Never once by poverty Was Little Bister haunted. MORAL. Advertise In The Morning Astorlan. VOCAL CULTURE MISS GRACE Rannel will give Instruction In tone production. Coaching In classical songs and ballads. 144 Duane street Phone Red 2091. tf 8ALMON. EELS GREAT SOLID, wholesale Arm In Sweden wishes to enter Into business connections with respectable export bouses of salted Eels, Salmon, Trout and other kinds of fish. Answer and price to S. Matts son, Morrum, Sweden. 3t-eod REWARD A REWARD OF $50 WILL be paid by the undersigned to any person finding A B. Crosno or his body. Last seen on Elk Creek Beach, Clatsop Couftty, at 4 o'clock p. m., Jan. 9, 1907. C. B. Crosno, Toledo, Or Feb. 1, 1907. 2-6-14t Morning Astorlan, 60 cents per eonth, delivered by carrier. ADVERTISEMENT FOR BIDS. Sealed proposals will be received at this building until 2 o'clock p. m., Mon day, February IS, 1907, for furnishing fuel, lights, water, miscellaneous sup plies, washing towels, hauling ashes, and sprinkling streets for this build ing during the fiscal year ending June 30, 1908, or such portion of the year as may be deemed advisable. The right to reject any and all bids is re served by the Treasury Department. C. W. CARNAHAN, Custodian. 2t MU3IC TEACHER. WANTED THREE MUSIC PUPILS. Inquire at Astorlan office. FOR SALE. FOR SALE UNTIL FEBRUARY 15 Gasoline Salmon flshlr.g boat with seine, round bottom. Boat 39 feet long, beam 10 feet 4 Inches, depth of hull 3 feet 8 inches, decked, 9-horse San Francisco standard gasoline en gine was installed, direct from fac tory, July, 1905. Up-to-date fishing rig complete. Price $1,650. Owner, S. Z. Watney, Ballard, Wash., 151 Burke Ave. l-31-12t WHALES AMBER. MADE IN NOR way, guaranteed finest shoe dress- ins; out. Your dealer handles It Al fred Aodresen & Co., Minneapolis, Minn. 12-18-tf PROFESSIONAL CARDS. ATTORNEYS AT LAW. HOWARD M. BROWN ELL, Attorney-at-Law. OfReo with Mr. J. A. Eakin, at No. 421 Commercial ft, Astoria. DENTIST. DI. RHODA C. HICKS OSTEOPATH Offlcs ManssU Bid. Phone Black (f 171 Commercial Bt, Astoria, Ore. w I Mil I Pybian Building, Aatoria, Oregon. j 4 BOND ST, Dr. W. 0. LOGAN f ASTOm- OlECOl I DENTISl " S Carries the Finest Line of g 78 Commercial St., Bhanahan Building , !l Wines. 1 osTEOPATHiSTs. Liquors jg BUSINESS DIRECTORY COLUMBIA ENGINEERING CO. Office Astor House. Surveying, Platting, Blueprinting and General Civil Engineering. Prompt Attention Guaranteed. A. 8. TEE, Manager. Phone Main 214. t- . ssssssm BOARDING. THE LEYDX. Rooms with or without board; rates reasonable; good accom modation for transient. 14th and Commercial. RESTAURANTS. FIRST-CLASS MEAL lor 15c; nice cake, coffee, pie, or doughnuts, 5c, at U. 8. Restaur ant 434 Bond St JAPANESE GOODS. INEXPENSIVE JAPANESE FIXINGS, MADE OF BAM BOO, LIGHT, STRONG, HAND MADE, TABLES, STANDS, CHAIRS, WHAT-NOTS, BOOKCASES, SHELV ING, ETC. Yokohama Bazaar 925 Commercial St, Astoria. HOUSE MOVERS. FREDRECK80N BRO& We make t specialty of house moving, earpenters, contractors, general jobbing; prompt at tention t all orders. Corner Tenti nd Duane. tf UNDERTAKERS. J. . GTLBAUGH ft CO, Undertakers and Embali . Phom Mtn JUL Our. II and Duane. H-4-44 HOTEL. HOTEL PORTLAND Finest Hotel In the North wast PORTLAND, ORE. Leading Churches and Theatres Within Two Blocks. Rates 50c, 75c, $1.00, $1.60. The Terra Firm Hotel; Steam Heated. HOTEL IRVING Corner Franklin Avenue and 11th St Astoria, Oregon. Don't look for a bus, but take street car and ask conductor for directions. Come once and you wil Ireturn. Dining Room. Meals 25c. When In Astoria stop at the Irving. Wm. Reischman. LAUNDRIES. BUTTON HOLE AT THE BACK. Your experience with it Has bo doubt lead to much vexation, possibly pro- ffjiity. Broke your fingernail trying to pry it up from the neck-band, efct You wont nave that that experience if you send your shirts to us; we save yon this trouble, and danger of tearing the gfclrt Try us and see, TROY LAUNDRY, Tenth and Duane Sts. Phone iggi WINES, LIQUORS AND CIGARS. THE SAVOY Popular Goneert Hall. Good niusio. All are waleom. Dse Mr Seventh and Astor. m nnrl I 1 Cigars I 1 CALL AND SEE US