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About The morning Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1899-1930 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 30, 1906)
THE MORNING ASTORIAN, ASTORIA, OREGON. SUNDAY, DECEMBER 30, 190, M. Clam Women (M. Clam, the renowned Parisian journalist, concludes the American woman la one of the most puiillng of American problems, and In attempting an Illustration, presents a hitherto un-J puDlisnea1 version 01 me kwwwii Storer Incident.) WASHINGTON, U. S., December 29. Many things in these Cnlted States cause astonishment to one Journalist In France. It is thrice diffi cult to comprehend all of these things at the one time. Everything is so fast, so Quickly disappearing! How shall I judge of them with the Justice. Tet I shall tell my countrymen the truth, as it appears to me. I beg my friends in the France to remember that the truth moves more swiftly In these Cnited States, like everything more. She does not wait! always it is hurry, hurry, to overtake the lie. The He travel by automobile; the truth follow quickly. The He that abandons auto mobile and Jumps to that airship: the truth follows, breathing more hard, the He follows to wireless telegraphy; the truth gasps, and throws up the hands! I, too, am ready to gnsp, and throw up the hands! Tet I must be calm! There are problems What, for the Illustration, shall I say of those American women? Sacre bleu! This Is one terrible problem. Those women are as everything more In America they are so quick! I cannot understand those women. It is yesterday the doll, today the divor cee, tomorrow the fourth husband. Those women take all the money for themselves, yet cry for more! Always they talk of the clothe. The woman In America is everything. The man ban! He Is nothing! If he will keep shut the mouth and hurry to mak? the money, very good! But if he will try to tell his wife something, it Is the di vorce for intolerable cruelty and the grand inability to make enough money quickly. If the husband disobeys the wife, those people call him the monster. If he obeys her, he is called the shrimp. Always it is worse for him. Those women In America are very tall, very strong. They can dance with out fatigue all night after the spending of money all day. Tet one dreadful illness all women If they d0 work In the house. It is the nervous malady. Only one cure has been found for that strange Illness. Those women must wear out the nerves by shopping. If they do not. they are lost. All women avoid the nervous work at home. So they have the good health and grow taller and bolder every day. I am intimidated by thoso grout women, thoe terrible tail ir'rl-! At the ball, th- reception, the dinner, everywhere they are so bM! T'n.'iv Is no escape if they see th men first. At one reception given by my M.-ar friend M. Fairbanks, o.;e l..au-iful girl did actually pat m- on h- bald head! I was furious. .. .hut li'v-.v - polite. With exquisite sur "You t .trh me manv droi! "-'. Ml The reply: "Oh. you follow rr:. Mr. I Clam, and 111 put you wis-!" ! Follow her? For what shall I follow! her? Although she do" pit me like ! a dog. I am again furious. .. .but Ij remember it is the America! In the' France I should look for her brother! to kill him instantly 1 i the du-1. Ma 1-1 ly I look for her brother. Whn I find! him. w take the hk-hbali totf-hT. af-j the style American. Yet I think 'In?-1 pers, scorpions, sepulihers! I ! In the Ltah State many worn ri l ave one husband, yet each woman has the vote. Now they pass the law against housework for women. The husband must make the money for those wiv-s. yet he must wash the dishes alxo! The new law will soon pass making the trial marriages for women, the life marrige for m-n! Those Mormons be gan the numerous wife habit with the grand pleasure, but that retribution Is terrible. One Mormon marc M. Smoot, Is a senator In Washington. Those women try hard to put hlrn back to the Utah, so that a woman shall be the Senator. But all men in the Sen ate say to their wives: "My God, we cannot punish M. Smoot so much! Have pity!" In Washington life is not so bad. There in no vote for women. Those men are glad to go without the vote If those wom-n will not agitate for It. I have seen here many- men who are the cooks, the laundries, the nurses; but all Is not. lost. Those women of the high world mak? but little dis turbance to the public. They remain always In their clubs, smoking, drink ing and debating those problems of clothes, r.-y:e suicide, alimony, trial marriage, bridge whist, and one mys terious thing called poker. In those clubs no men are Reen. No one knows ! what these women will de ide. Yet ' fear Is wide-spread among the men. I Already the highball, the cigarette, j the dinner down town, the late cab, ' the latch key they have been seized by those women. What shall be the j next? i When I arrive In Washington I lookj upon the Congress as one august as- Finds American a Puzzling Problem (Copyright, 1908, by S. S. Clint.) sembbiife, Run! It Is to laugh: U Is nothing! Those, women's clubs and great convention decide everything for everybody. Each year there Is one grout convention, called the Daughter of the Annual Revolution. After those clubs have discussed the problems that Annual Revolution considers them, and decides for everybody. Those meet Ings of the Annual Revolution are ter rible, because of the Importance. Those women, quarrel, tight the duel, and make riots. The police dare r.ot look Inside it Is the law! For one week the fighting goes on with wild fury. It Is the death struggle. At the last, those ambulances carry away those who are unconscious or dead. Those victors crawl to the outside, and their husbands take them home and nurse them again to life. Then, I think Congress passes those laws that are approved by the Annual Rev olution. If It does not, always It wish es It had. M. Roosevelt, he is the hope of alt men in this terrible crisis. These women do not pay attention to M. Roosevelt. If they are afraid. I do not see the fear. M. Roosevelt talks to all people of the duties of women. He sees clearly the calamity that comes to all men If these women are paramount. Tet M. Roosevelt Is not the harebraln, the maniac. He will not make the open sex war It Is too late! He will use the diplomacy With discretion most admirable, he says to those woman's clubs:" Rack to the fireside! Save the nation by raising large families, dear ladie!" The reply: "Pah! What does M. Rouses-ell know of our problems. He Is the mere man! It is the quality, not the quantity! Cut the cards. and give me the light." In the diplomacy those women of America are thrice powerful. Fntll they have secured the full control of the government which comes quickly, they work through the husband. But in one year or two, those Ambassadors will all be women. These United States are excited over the quarrel between M. Roosevelt and Maria, the Ambassadress to Vienna. All those letters on M. Roosevelt' side have been published. Maria still has a few. When that quarrel Is not furious, Ma ria publishes one more letter, and that excitement Is refreshing. What Is In those letters to come? Ah! Xo one knows but M. Roosevelt and Maria. M. Roosevelt, he Is rendy to call it opens that incident always again. In the first 1-tter M. Roosevelt said: "I-nr Maria: r,o and tell th- Pope to make quickly one cardinal of Mgr. Ireland. Keep mum!" The reply: "Dear Theodore: I shall see he Pope. PI ,,Se. ...;.u. make u the envoys to that K-.-ddlt.i- in "! in. !!!!. nny cannot make th- min take -I -hall do -vrylhirtg. i k.- p mum about th cardinal. I t. ll only my Mend Priti.-ss Whi-p.-ritiski-t::'i!.i,i. Sh.. has that cr,..,t pU ,,, the Vaticnn". .'gain the Pivi -it waites: ' Ijear Maria: Som-thing tells rt:e IVIIatny will mak- t!. c.c.-kitig Ambassador. He knows nothing ai.d ) has the smart wife. Ot that red hit quickly Maria, but have care." The reply: "Dear Theodore: I have se n the pope. If- say; jfow many Cardinals does M. Ron--evelt wart?' I do not. understand. I ask Cardinal Merry Val. He says: 'One other woman has- ak"d for one other cardi nal f,,r M. Roosevelt." All is confu sion' Thos.j terrible reporters fullou me; oh. Theodore how could you trust ri woman?" .M. Rooseyelfj, third letter: "Dear1 Maria: Somebody does not keep mum! read those clippings! I did. not tell you to see the Pope! Avoid those terrible reporters! Get back my letters from Rampolla, if I wrote any! But I never did write any! If Rr-llnmy obeys the instructions again, he will have to re sign instantly." The reply was: "Dear Theodore; I said nothing! The Pope did all the talking! He told those terlrble re porters everything? Why did you trust that woman? Who is she?" M. Roosevelt's fourth letter: Maria: You are the marplot! Bellamy hat followed Instructions again. Why do you permit this? Bo'lamy must re sign!" M. Roosevelt's first cablegram, the same day: "Maria's Husband, Vienna: Please resign instantly! Any excuse will do." M. Roosevelt's second cablegram, the same day: "MarlaV liimhnnd, Vienna: Never mind resignation. It Is not 'lulck. I dismiss you now, Instantly! Maria, too Is dismissed. These letters make great excitement in America, Maria's husband says: "I was the dunce. I followed Instruct ions l ways. But my wife. Maria she Is smart. She did not follow the In structions. Why does M. Roosevelt write letters to my wife? It JM this which bolls my blood when I think of It three years after." M. Roosevelt says: "It u mgen. tiemanly to publish the private letters which I never wrote to Maria. This shows to those people that Bellamy Is not diplomatic enough to be trusted by me. Maria says: "We created a Roose elt. Can we not do with him as we please? I have a few U tters more., . . . Some people say: "M. Roosevelt did not write for publication. We shall not judge from the private letters but from speeches. As M. Roosevelt be asked the Pope to make the Cardin al. As the President, be punl-hed himself severely for such Interference, Maria's husband Is a diplomat, yet he tils the truth! Hah! If those dip lomats always tell the truth, why are diplomats?" Other people say: "It Is the woman, She Is to blame. Those women spoil everything. M. Roosevelt is to be pitied, not blamed. How could he know Maria would betray him to those reporters? Yet we agree to this: Ma ria's husband was one ass." I, too, agree that Maria's husband Is the goat who cannot i scape. Rut for the rest..,. It Is not proper to Judge until all those letters are published. Tet us be patient under that terrible suspense. CUM. NO OPIUM IN CHAMBERLAIN'S COUGH REMEDY. There Is not the least danger In giving Chamberlain's Cough Remedy to small children, as It contains no opium or other harmful drug. It has an established reputation of more than thirty years, as the most suc cessful medicine In use for colds, croup and whooping cough. It al ways cures and Is pleasant to take Frank Hart and Leading Druggists. MANN ACQUITTED. Editor of Town Topics Charged with Perjury i Cleared. NEW YORK, Dec. The Jury In the case of Colonel W, D. Mann of Town Topics, charged with perjury, tonight returned a verdict of acquit tal. The Jury was out four hours. The charge against Mann grew out of the Hapgood libel suit. During the case Colonel Mann testified that the letters "OK. W. D. M.." appearing on a letter recived by him from Count Reginald H. Ward, had not been writ ten by him. PANAMA STEAM LINE. CITY OF MEXICO, Dec. 23. - Within the next few days arrangements will be made for the establishment of a new lln. of steamers between Panama and Salinas Cruz. Between the efforts of U". I.. Vail a concession n:, , i,,.,, been granted to the h.,u,. ef Vail. Ad ams & Co., by the government of Sal. vador for the op ration of the lite-. Ft Is said that this line mav have the effect of losing the mail i .titraeti to the Pacific Mail lit ports. b"tw, t lies, NOTICE. There is money In the following street funds to pay the following war rants: Eleventh street from Harrison avenue to Kensington Avenues, Nos. 22061 to 22071. both Inclusive; Duane street from 10th street, to 6th street, Nos. 22195 to 22,"38 and 22203 to 22210 Inclusive; 7th street from Niagara to Bay Avenue, Nos. 22225 to 22229 both inclusive; Bond street from Cth street to the west line of McClure's Astoria, Nos. 22283 to 22304, both inclusive. Interest will cease after this date. VHOMAS DEALE-Y. City Treasurer. Dated Astoria, Oregon, December 17, 1906. The American Collection Agency No fee charged on ltti collection i i made. We nuke col- lectioni In til pirti of the United States. 413 Kansas Ave. TOPEKA. KANSAS. ANTHONY P. WILSON, Attorney HOTEL PORTLAND Finest Hot! In the Northweet. PORTLAND. ORE. For Kidney and bladder Troubles i V RELIEVES IN WrfJS 24 Hours WIS AIL URINARY mMIDY i jr. i-y r U:imre ctmn mnterieitt 'W i CLASSIFIED ADVERTISING. ' . "..., i ... . ,. v. ... I HILP WANTED. WANTKD YOU NO LADY WITH some knowledge of typewriting and bookkeeping; work In good mercan tile buelne; good wagea, permanent position for right party. Addresa "J" care Astortan. 11-lltf W A N T HI VU K N T I , K MAN o LADY of fair education to travel for mer cantllo houso of largo capital. Terri tory at home or abroad, to suit. Week ly mlnry of $1,000 per year nnd ex pense. Address Joseph A. Alexan der, Astoria, Ore. 12-27-3t AGENTS CANVA88RI18, MIXERS. peddlers, solicitors, mall ordr peo ple, etc, should buy KRAMER'S ROOK OP TRADE 8KORET& Regu lar p Ice 15. but bal of last edition for $1.25 s long as they Inst. Guar anteed. Order quirk. Sioux Pub, Co.. Sutherland, Iowa. ll-SS-tf WANTKD 8ALE8M KN. MANY MAKE 100 to 180 per month. Some even more. Stock clean; grown on Rer ration, far from old orchards. Cash advanced weekly. Choice of territory. Addree Washington Ntireery Company, Toppenish, Washington." 9-Sn-tf WANTHD TWO GOOD 8URSCRIP tlon solicitors to work. First clasa propoaltlon, good pay. Apply A "tor Ian office. TOR RENT, FOR RENT-SIX ROOM MOl'SK with yuid. A. Klcyvus, 4 '.'I t'oimiter- j id.ll sttv.t. i:-3l-St FOR RENT FIVE-ROOM FLAT. IN quire at C. M. Cuthberth's, cor. Com -! merclnl and th street. 13-S-tf I ! FOR RENT TEN-ROOM HOUSE AT No. 153 8uoml Avenue. Apply to , Victor Alrola. ll--tfi FOR SALE. MILK COW 'nil SAI.K IS'gflltE 294 "Sth St. 12--0-7t WHALE AMBER, MADE IN NOR way, guaranteed finest shoe drea Ing out Your dealer handles It Al fred Andresen 8t Co., Minneapolis, Minn. U-18-tf LOST AND FOUND. LOST A WEDDING RING, RE tween end of car line nnd A-h nvn. nue. Finder return to Gun Sim!, Al dcrbrook. 12-21-tf MISCELLANEOUS. TO OWNERS OF TIM HER CLAIMS nnd timber-Wc will buy for CASH nny Rood timber trlhii'nry to Nchn lem River. Will deal with owner only. No others nv-i nnwr. Write, KlvlrfT full rinrtleulius. to Bx R, IT. P. Station, Portland, On-iron. NICK PAPAZGERE3, THE GREEK DIVER, hnn Just received a new diving ma chlno from the old country. Dives from 25 to 30 futhome In shnllow wa ter; utayn down half a day at a time.: Lenve orders at 417 Rond 8t. Market,! or D. FnlnngoH, Clifton. HOUSE MOVERS. FRF.bKWKSO; HROS.-We make a specialty of lioime moving, carpentcra, I contractor, prnr-ml jobbing; prompt at- , tenMon to all order. Corner Tnth and Duane. tf ; LAUNDRIES. I I BUTTON HOLE AT TEE BACK. Your experience with It has no doubt lead to much vexation, posaihly pro fnity. Broke your fingernail trying to pry It up from the neck -band, eh? You won't have that that experience If you send your shirts to uj we save you this trouble, and danger of tearing tbs fdilrt. Try us and see, TROY LAUNDRY, Tenth and Duane Sts. Phone 1991 NOTICE. There Is money In the Steneral fund to pay warrants Indorsed prior to De cember 1, 1905. Interest will cease af ter this date. THOMAS DEALEY, City Treasurer. Antorla, Ore., Dec. 20, 1008. 12-20-10t NOTICE. The annual meeting of the stock holders of the Astoria Iron Work will be hold at their office on January 10, 1907, at 3 p. in., for the purpose of electing director for the ensuing year nnd the tranwictlon of nuch other busi ness as may properly come before tho meeting. By order of the board of directors. JOHN FOX, Attest: F. L. BISHOP, . President. Secretary, Astoria, Oregon, Dec. 20, 1906. PROFESSIONAL CARDS. ATTORNEYS AT UW. HOWARD M. IROWNtlL, Attorney-at -Lew. Offloe with Mr. J. A. tskln, at No. 43 Commsrelal It, Astoria. CHAS. R. ABSRCROMBIE, Attorney.st-Liw. General Practitioner, Notary Publla. Rooms 35 Sl-rhone Main 1001. rage Hlock. (lor. Commercial A tlth St. mmUS MU3IC TKACHEH, I WANTKD TIIRER MUSIC l'UPlUJ. Inquire at Artorinn office, MANDOLIN LKH80NS (HVKN-MWH. C. D. Htewrrt, 187 8-enU street, - .i :...a BUSINESS DIRECTORY BOARDINO. TBJC LI TDK. Room with or without board) ratee reasonable i good accom modation for tmnsienU. 14th and OommercUi, 0TEOFATHIT. DR. RH0DA C. HICKS OSTEOPATH j Office Uunaoi. Hid. Phone Illack !0i 171 Commercial St.. Antorla, Ore. WOOD YARDS. WOOD Cord wood, mil wood, bos wood, say kind of wood 1 1 lowest price. Kelly, the trsasfer man. Tbons aigi Main, Barn on Twelfth, opposite osers : house. Payment for wood must be made on delivery of aams and driv er's receipt taken for same. No ex-! ceptlons whatever made to thla rule. ; RE8TAUANT. FIRST-CLASS MEAL j lor 15c; nice cako, coffoo, pie, or 'doughnut, V, nt (J. S. Restaur-: ant. HU Itond St. 1 BEST 1") CENT MEAL. ' You can always find tin heat lfM'idit meal in tlio city at the Rising Sun Restaurant. tiI2 I'liiiiincrcialSt. . JAPANESE GOODS. INEXPENSIVE JAPANESE FIXINGS, MADE OP BAM-1 BOO, LIGHT, STRONG, HAND- MADE, TABLES, STANDS, CHAIRS, WHAT-NOTS, BOOKCASES, SHELV ING, ETC. Yokohama Bazaar j (I2S Cmmni-rciiil St., Aatorla. HOTELS ! H. H. PARKER,' RP.ltKER, Proprietor. Manager. ' ' PARKER HOUSE! EUROPEAN PLAN. Firat Class In Every RespeoL Fres Coach to the Hou-e. Bar and Billiard Room. Good Check Restaurant Good Sample Rooms on Ground Floor for Commercial Men. Astoria, Oregon Unprecedented Success of DR. I! 'I I'D THE GREAT CHINESE DOCTOR V Who is known ii 1 . 11 ?,. a .1, a' "roiijrpoiu me uni-wi JjUlM Oil SOMHlOt Of !hi wonderful cures. No poinons nor dni( He guaran tees to cure cntnrrli, asthmii, 1imi and throat trouble, iliHimatium, nervousness, stomach, liver, und kidney, female com plaints nnd 11 IT chronic (linpases. SUCCESSFUL HOME TREATMENT, If you cunnot call write for symptom blank stid circular, imlosini; 4 cents In atunipH. THE C. GEE WO MEDICINE CO, UVi First Ht, Corner Mnrrlaon, PORTLAND, OREGON. Please mention the Astorian i I mm.L.i. . ail. .u.j .. i'TTrmammmmmtm WINKS, LIQUORS AND CIOARJ. TUB SAVOY PotuUr Oonssri Ball, Good rsutlo, All are weleotne. Ost er 8oTaU and Astor. 1 t BOND IT, ASTORIA, OREGON Carrlee th Finest Lis f i Wines. I Liquors 3 and Cigars CALL AND SEE US Eagle Concert Hall 1320 Aitor 8t,J The leading mux-merit houee. Alfency for EdUon Phonographs aad DolJ Moulded Record. I P. A. PKTKMtiON, Pros "PaleBohemlan LaAer Beer" THE BEER FOR THE HEALTHY WEALTHY AND WISE on draught aod In bottles Drfwnl en-ler Military cm.llllnm aad ptopftiy tuinl hfft In Aitorla. North Pacific Brewing Co. ASTORIA, OREGON. (CanSell YourReaJ Esrateor Business NO MATT Kit WIIKHK LOCATED Properties and HulncM of all kinds sold quirkly for caali in all part" of ths United Htntrs. Don't wait. Write to day dencrlblng what you have to sell and give eaah price on same. IF YOU WANT TO BUY any kind of Ilu-ineaa or Real Katate anywhere, at any price, write me your requirements. I ran ssve you time aod nione. DAVID D. TAFP, f THE LAND MAN 415 Kansas Avenue. TOPEKA, KANSAS. DENTIST. Dit. VAIKJIIAN, Dknuht Pj'Milao UullditiK, Astoria. Oregon. Dr. W. 0. LOdAN DENTIBl 78 Commercial Ht., BuHnnhan Huildiog PROPOSALS. NOTICE. Bids are heroby asked for the board ing of the county prisoners during the -sear 1907. Bald bids to state price per mal delivered to Sheriff at county Jail. All bids to be filed with the clerk by noon of Saturday, Deo. 29, 1908. Court reserving the right to reject njiy or all bids. By order of the C- nty Court. J. C. CLINTON, County Clerk. Aetor't, Ore., Deo. 6, 190. UNDERTAKERS. I I M J. GILBAUGH ft CO., Undertaker and Embalmers. Phone MMn 2111. Cor. 12 and Duane. 11-4-tf