THE MORNING ASTOIUAN, ASTORIA, OREGON.
SATURDAY, DECEMIEK 29, 1900.
THE
MORMG ASTORIAN
.M. 4-U J ' I
PbliihM Dally IxcepTMondty by
iik j. s. dellwgm compahy.
SUBSCRIPTION RATES.
By mil, p 17.00
By osrrfcr, par month........ JO
WKS1XY ASTOMAH.
mall, per year, la advanca..fl.OO
' tntarad u mrt-!l matur Joly
IS, IMS, a the toatonVw at Astoria. Orij
ftta,aadartaaactofConcreioi March i,
fcl . -. ;::,! -.. .' 1 x it-'.
IVOriton lor taa Mrmra at Tn Mont
Muroau locttlxr rti1o ar piac ot
lnalniM nay aiato by postal oard or
tajroaga Mecaoaa. Any Irregularity to d
iTwy aaoM b iaiiai1itily reparwd to th
ottwotpabUoatloa. ...1.1..I-- . .
mmoirs MAra 6V '
' Official paper of Cialaop county and
thauty of Astoria.
WIA3HSK. r
Western Ortpw cloudy.
southwest winds. ; "
Western Washington Show
era, southwest winds.
Eastern Oregon, Southern
Idaho Cloudy. -
Eastern Washington, North
em1 Idaho Showers. I '
HE MEANS BUSINESS.
Modern methods of doing business
were well exemplified at the hearing
in the coal famine case at Chicago last
week, when the evidence was put into
shape for the President's Inspection In
about one-half the ; time It ' usually
takes. This was accomplished by re
lays of stenograph ars and a battery of
graphophones, the latter being placed
in a hotel over the way from the Fed
eral building,- and' the stenographers
sprinting across with loaded note
books, talking at the rate of SO words
a minute Into the receiver, and sprint
ing back, when through, to gather
more notes, whilei the instrument
slowed down a degree " or so. repeated
the testimony to a relay of typewrit
ers. All this was due to the Presi
dent's instructions to "rush that evi
dence." That there was need for
prompt action is evident from the
condition of affairs, with whole broad
sections suffering from a shortage of
fuel, which not only ministers to the
daily household needs of a vast popu
lation,1 but to public utilities and in
dustries as well. It Is an emergency
that, demands prompt and vigorous
action to relieve pressing necessities.
And it is characteristic of our stren
, nous President that he is letting no
grass grow under his feet Knowing
Just how things are, he will know
precisely what measures to take to
make that relief effective.
TEDDY'S NEW CATS.
. President Roosevelt decides he does
not need nor want Lulu Graver's 2,
000, but is willing to give her two
homeless Angoras a home. This is a
wise decision, for Angoras are rare
cats, well worth the havjng. More
over,' cats are usually" found useful
about a hwuse in destroying vermin.
The poet tells us how
"Rats and mice and such small deer,
Were poor Tom's food for many a
. . year." . ,
"Poor Tom" evidently referring to a
gentleman grimalkin. And besides,
cats have been found useful in offices,
copy not desired by the editors, or re
garded by them as unsuitable for pub
lic consumption. Mr. Roosevelt might
feed his nu" spelling MSS. to the
Angoras and spare the public's nerves.
" -o ,,
JOY OF LIVING.
The Marlon (Kan.) Record finds Just
one thing lacking to complete the Joy
of a country editor's life. It says:
Every once in a while some cheerful
Individual remarks to us;. "Well, now
that the paper is out I suppose you
can take it easy for three ; or: four
days." Tes, how delightful It Is that
a country editor has practically noth
ing to do between press days. .When
paper bills come due money drops off
the trees with which to pay them, Sub
scribers vie with each other to see who
can pay the farthest In advance. Ad
vertisers beg for additional space. And
th way the news hunts up the edi
tor is always so pleasant to contem-
1
I plate. There I something really
strange about th way the news Itoms
act. When the papsr Is out, the edt
tor simply go to his desk ;md lean
back in his easy chair and looks wise
and wain foi oeit week's 'pr day.
The duy Wtoj flreas'day people line
up In, front of he , onlct '.door and
then file past his 'desk and tell him
all the news of the week. He wltos
It up in ton or fifteen minutes, take
it back and hangs it on the hook. The
compositors take the copy, shake it
over the type cases, say a few mys
tic words, the type llles into place and
after a few pawes by the foreman
the forms are ready "for lhe press
again. t And the editor goes down and
deposits some more money ! in th
bank. It Is the greatest snap In the
catalogue. 'Now If the editor could
only do away with, press ays, his Joy
would be tompleta." !'J i
''( I ' " ' 1 ?
I CARE FOR 'YOUR COW.
We offer a plea for the cow. What
would she say In her own behalf,
Coud she talk? She might, with good
1 ' : . ii I 'll 1 .' . i ' -
reason, a: :-wny a I nave 10 en
dure these cold, stormy nights with
out shelter while you lie in your warm,
soft bed? I give you milk, butter,
meat and shoes. How can I be ex
pected to do this without shelter and
with not enough to eat?" Of all un
wise, thought)? habits, none are
worse than leaving stock unsheltered
through the winter. Tou have sei i hogs
in pens in mud up to their knees with
out shelter or bed, fed all they wanted
in fact enough to " feed double the
numberand yet they would not fat
ten. If sheltered the gain would have
been doubled.
. . EDITORIAL SALAD.
What will the homeseeker do and
where shall he turn when all the pub
lic domain between the great lakes
and the Pacific is taken up and Uncle
Sam's land offices have gone out of
business? 11
It is not generally known that corn
smut contains a very riolent poison. A
number of farmers have learned this
by being infected through open sores
on their hands and as a consequence
are suffering from blood poison.
One-half of the world doesn't care
a straw how the other half lives, or
dies eitser, for that matter. Supreme
selfishness and grasping after the al
mighty dollar are the motives that
rule two-thirds of mankind today.
Alfalfa was . almost unknown ten
years ago, so far as its cultivation
this side of the Rocky Mountains Is
concerned. Thousands of acres of land
in Kansas and other western states
are today producing crops' of it worth
sixty dollars an acre each season.
, The President gets a salary of only
$50,000 a year and when It was pro
posed to make an annual approprla
Hon of $25,000 for traveling expenses
a storm of protest was raised. The
New Tork Commercial says the trav
eling expenses of Emperor William
cost the German government fully
$500,000 a year.
Here's a pipe dream for farmers:
The Department of Agriculture has
found near Cape Town a kind of cal
abash which farmers are growing,
which is an excellent substitute for
meerschaum. They grow with a bowl
the size of a pipe, to which is a nat
ural pipe stem. The cheapest of these
calabash pipes is worth about a dollar
at Cape Town, but this is after it has
gone through a process of manufac
ture. It 1b Intended to Import the
seed and grow our own "meerschaum"
pipes as we do our own Havana ci
gars. '
Investigation of the capacity of hens
to lay eggs results in the discovery
that the egg production of hens de
creases considerably after the age of
four years. Thus, a hen lays at the
age of one year about twenty eggs,
at the age of two years, about 120
eggs; at the age of three years, about
136; at the age of four years about
115; at the age of five years, about
80, and at the age of six years about
60. These figures go to show that
hens should never be kept In the poul
try yard more than four years, for af
ter the lapse of this time they do not
yield a proper return on the food they
consume. N. Y. Tribune, ' '
LONG TENNESSEE FICHT8. '
For twenty years W. I Rawls, of
Bells, Tenn., fought , nasal . catarrh.
He writes: 'The swelling and sore
ness inside my nose was fearful, till
I began applying Bucklen's Arnica
Salve to the sore surface; this caused
the soreness and swelling to disappear,
never to return." Rest salve in ex
istence. 25c at Chas. Rogers, Drug
gist .'"-.'
"UNCLE" JOE CANNON. '
"Vnele" Joe Cannon
Steady at his post, : . '
Nothing to growl about,
Nobody to roast. 1
Hears senators talking. '
Listen aU the white,
Whn they get too frisky,
Calls them down in style, ,
Never had the fever, .
To hunt mountain gout ;
Thinks more of his cigar, J":.
Than of ,bear-kln coat,
Likes to 'argue 'tariff
" And "protection," too,
In fact, will talk of anything, '
To maka "free trade", skldool
Pleased to see the Udlea, '
In the gallery grand,
Likes 'Marching Through Georgia"
When played by any band,
, Will tell a "funny" story, :
While chatting with tht "boys,"
No use for politicians, . , s
Built on plan of puppet-toy.
. ,. '., -.' ..
Goes along serenely,
Traveling to the end.
Not a thing to vex htm,
United States his friend.
Knows what he la doing,
No favorites, high nor low,
' ' "Square deal," "fair play," honest
" man, ' . '
- Is plain, old Uncle" Joe.
Do-Jsn't need a medal.
For anything he's done.
Public life is spotles,' :
Bright a mid-day sun.
Does his duty fearless,
For stars and stripes, will fight
Long may he be with us,
Tncle" Joe's all right
! LTJE F. VERNON,
CHARGED WITH FORGERY.
Colonel Mann of Town Topics Fams,
Will Receive Judgment.
NEW TORK, Dec 2S. Colonel M. D,
Mann, the editor or Town Topics, who
has been on trial for some days be
fore Recorder Goff on the Chicago for
gery will "know his fate" by tomorrow
morning. . The summing Up will take
place today and, it la expected that
the Jury will gel the decision late to
day. The charges t against , Colonel (Mann
grew out of the trial of Norman Hap-
good, edlt6r. of Cottiers Weekly, who
was charged with criminal libel by
Col Mann. There has been some sen'
national allegations agalnnt Colonel
Mann by Mr. Hapgood's paper grow
ing out of tho issuance by Town Top
ics of a book called "Fads and Fan
cies." Colonel Mann was called as a
witness In the case of Mr. Hapgood
and In the course of his testimony he
swore that he did not write "O. K. D.
D. M." on a letter from Count Regi
nald Ward about Porto Rico Mining
Stocks. Testimony contradicting this
statement was given at the trial and
the arrest of Colonel Mann followed.
8UNDAY TRAVEL TO PORTLAND
Increases and 12.50 Round Trip Rat
, via A. & C. R. R. Is Popular. ,
Travel from this city to Portland
on Sunday at the low round trip rate
of $2.50 la on the Increase and many
enjoy that day In the metropolis each
week. This rate will be continued
throughout the winter and the volume
of travel toward Portland every Bun
day would indicate that the public
appreciates It 11-l-tf
COLONIZE RUSSIAN JEWS.
NEW YORK, Dec. 28. The Jewish
World of Londan printed recently an
announcement of a colonization scheme
which Included a projected settlement
nety Galveiitjon, Texas,. "jThe plans
were to acquire lands for a settlement
by Jews who should be brought from
Russia and other countries. ' The
scheme was to have the support of the
Rothschild, and it was also said that
Jacob Schiff had promised to contrib
ute $500,000 If a similar sum were
raised. Mr. Schiff said yesterday that
the matter was In too crude a shape
to be discussed at present,' '." .
PUBLIC 8PEAKER INTERRUPTED.
Public speakers' ars frequently In
terrupted by people coughing. This
would not . happen If Foley's Honey
and Tar Were taken, ' as It cures
Coughs and Colds and prevents pnu
monia and consumption. The genu
ine contains no opiate and is In a
yellow package. - ' ,
NEW CURE FOR EPILEPSY.
J. B. Waterman, of , Watertown, O.,
Rural free delivery, writes; "My
daughter, afflicted forbear with epi
lepsy, was cured by Dr. King's New
Life Pills. She has not had an at
tack for over two years." Best body
cleaners and life giving tonic pills on
earth. 25c at Chas Rogers' Drug
Store.". ;
ON DECEMBER
AND 31
Astoria Piano Bargain Hun
tcrs Will Have Almost
Undisputed SwayatEiN
commercial wwuj
THESE TWO DAYS ONLY
i Several buyers art 'going to havs
good cauaej , fr New Tears .rejoicing
If saving money and having music tn
the horn will help any.
If Xmaa preparations found any In
tending purchaser too busy to. attend
to tht buying of k piano,' now' Is such
a one's opportunity.
Th annual stock report goe In from
all our many store January 1, and
we enumerate below evral . piano
that are going In at tales. Instead ot
1 1,'
Mug carried ovr In tock, It w have
half a chance to tell them. If a ca
of our sacrificing most of our profit
on a few piano and still being happy
about it, if we only can sell them. Of
course all of these pianos have been
used or are shop-worn. What el
could you expect at cost price T ,
Here' the list and actual selling
price fresh and new; but these are
not strictly new, though not one has
been used over eight months.
A 1333 Hohart M. Cable at t t ?
A 1287 Schumann at... ..SIT
A 1290 Whitney at. t t T
A 1405 Crown at. .............. .1 i T
A 1300 Bailey at .....I I
, No prices are given hnre because we
expect to continue selling tbm tn As
toria and have future business to pro
tect ,
If you want a price you must come
and get It for without seeing the piano
no one can tell whether the price and
piano suits or not , "S,
Don't worry or stand back on ac
count of terms. We ar good at wait
ing for reliable people to pay us on
"long-drawn-out" accounts. H Isn't
terms; It Isn't price; If the sale of
these Instrument that we want by
Monday night, ecember 31, the close
Of this good old year 1908. This will
be our last announcement to the As
toria public this ending year; and we
bespeak for every one a most pros
perous New Year of three hundred and
some odd days all happy ones. .
EILERS PIANO HOUSE,
x , 424 Commercial Stroct.
. J. M. WARD,
A. R., CYRUS, Manager.
THE PERFECT WAY.
8oori of Astoria Citizen Have
, Ltarnad It
If you suffer from backache,
There's only one way to cure it
The perfect way Is to cure the kid
neys. A bad back mean sick kidney.
Neglect it, urinary troubles follow.
Doan's Kidney Pills are made for
kidney only. ; . "
Mrs. J. W. Painter, of 310 East Sev
enth street, Portland, Ore., say: "I
have not lost any of my faith In Doan's
Kidney PHI since I publicly recom
mended th remedy In February, 1903.
A I stated at that time, a ever
sjeil of alckjness early In my life
left me with weak kidneys, and as time
went on I suffered more and more
with spell of backache. The" pain
through the kidneys was torture and
often I could jiot find a comfortable
position to He In. When able to be
up and around I was troubled with
headaches and 'dizziness and conld
not stoop or lift anything. I doctored1
and used various treatment but noth
ing seemed to help me any until I be
gan using Doan's Kidney Pills. The
ue of this remedy was very satisfac
tory. 'It gave me o much relief that
I cannot hesitate to recommend it,
and will put in a good word for Doan's
Kidney Pills whenever I find an op
portunity." " ' ; !
t Plenty more proof like this 'from
Astoria people. Call at Chas. Rogers'
drug store and ask' what his custom
er report '.. ' ' . "'
" For sale by all dealers. - Price 60
cents. Foster- Mllburn Co., Buffalo,
New York, tola agents for the United '
State. ' ' , -
Remember the .name Doan's and
take no other, '""' '
THE CORRECT
A WO
Did you forget anything
at Christmas? Suppose you
remember him at New
Year's. There's a host of
good gifts here yet that are
sure to please tne critical
man
Prices Drastically reduced
,'; avail Holiday Goods.' f (
f'T'. :' . 'i 'in-
ine oiore,natiNever
'"Disappoints. '
Astoria's Foremost Clothiers
SCOW BAT IRON:
ASTORIA,
If ON AND BRASS FGMBS
Cp to-rst 8aw Mill Withlntryl
I8U1 aud rranklln Ave,
00 CKNTS VVAl
MONTH
RD WITHY
r- v i r . '
I IB i i
Guarantees to lt5 Advertisers
v- A Larger Circulation '
Than Any Paper Published
In Astoria :
V .... .
OUR BOOKS ARE OPEN TO INSPECTION
BY OUR ADVERTISERS
CLOTHES SHOP
1 ' "" f" in'i" 11 '.
O.U-.-FELLOWS!
When a man ' has made
his pile or "his mark," he
cau violate all the conven
tional rules of dress with
impunity. He can even
wear a derby hat with a
frock coatr-and it .will be
considered the eccentricity
of genius.
But the voung chap just
entering Ufe'l real arena
is badly handicapped if he
dresses slouchily. or care
lcsslyi lTbe1 attire has in
deed much to do with the
"making"" of the young
business man of te-day.
When a man' "made" he
may (dress , be pleases,," t
but ere he reaches that goal
he mnit. cter somewhat to
what the world of Fashion
acknowledges as author
ative. A man should be
careful of being well d-est,
neatly manicured, and able
to smile out upon the world
with brightly brushed teeth
as a background fcr the
&iier bmm
Th Secret of luocttt Llt In
Doing Your Work BetUf Thi Any
on El." Charltt M. Schwab.
And that's th pitch to which our
whol business Is keyed up or
tuiwHl-bcttor tyki, utttw lit, Ni
ter value, than art iiiadu by any
body, anywhtro, her In Attorla, or
tlaewhert,
Th gayest dr?r can get here
duplicate 'of the dytns that havt
been adopted by the youngrr men
of th smart at and art unobtain
able this ytar In readymade outside
ot our ttor.
And tbt man of quiet tastet will
find a multitude of model with all
tht little louche of fahlnn which
w.lll pleas and aallsfy him, '
In a nutshull: Our clothes art
not duplicated in this or any other
city, and art a far above the or
dinary as Mount Ilood Hr abort
Casllt Rock. Yet the price on
Pull or Overcoats fall a low at
fISi and rise by peg marked lit,
120, S22.50, 2S to S3S, a good a
money can buy,
I BRASS WORKS
01ti:OON
LAKO AND MARINE ENGINEERS
rron.pt attrtiKia'ilvra tiiil, mh nor v
' Tel. Main 2411 1
ASTOIUA'H IJK8T
MJWHIAllilt J