Confidence Talks
With Cobbler Hans
fwote I ell Htm ut lheif Irouuln
a. mm m m mm mm I t
and He ' Help Them
Out of k
Copyright, 1906, by Ruby Douglas.)
TP you vhas a blacksmith you vna
I too noisy; If you vbas an under
I taker you vbas too solemn; If yoi
vhas der Ice man you vhas toj
cold hearted; tf you vhas tier coal man
you vhas In dor combine. It vhas vhen
you vhas a cobbler und all alone l:i
your ahop dot peoples come In und gif
you delr confidence und vhant tome
eytnpathy. I kci" In my window all
der time a s!gm reading:
"Here vhas some sympathy und cou
Odence for all. Come In und tell der
cobbler all about It."
Und peoples come In almost every
hour, nnd everybody brings some shoe
to mend. I just got my slrop open der
odder morning vheu a woman comes
In m!t her shoes la her hand und tear
"KIT SHOES IX EEB HAND UND TUBS X
la her eyes. She vhas short nnd fat
nnd motherly, und she had been weep
ing. ; ,
"Hans, talk to me In confidence," she
ays as she hands me der shoes:
"That vhas der troubles?" I says.
"Shust der same ash for five yean
past My husband says I vbas too
short und too fat He makes fun oi
me und calls me names. Dls morning
be says I better go mlt some side
how ash der fat womans. He say i
I don't have some soul in me. He
says I can't tell der difference between
a glorious sunset nnd a hog In a pen.
If I shake der house vhen I walk be
calls me an earthquake. . Hans, my
heart vbas broke, und I don't know
vhat to do."
I let her cry for fire minutes, und
den I says:
"My dear womans, you don't do not
tings. I haf seen your husband, und I
know he vhas a runt of a man who
don't weight a hundred pounds. He
rhas shealous of you."
"But am I not too fat?" she asks.
. "You vhasn't fat enough. Venus
weighed ten pounds more than you do.
Vhen she gets into a street car do:
, end of ft sinks down. She has an arc.
like a hitching post und It vhas so far
around her dot a child gets tired of
walking. Shakespeare says, 'Gif me a
fat woman und I will gif you an angel.'
Vhas dot husband of yours a bigger
man dan Shakespeare?"
"But don't I "have some souls and
sentiment?"
"More ash a carload, my good wo
mans. Your soul vhas ash big ash r
whole calfskin, und I bet you don't go
down to Coney Island und see dor
waves break on der beach mltout you
make oop some poetry."
"Yes, dot vhas so. Last week vhen J
vhas down dore I come home und
write:
"I stood upon the tandy shore;
The tide vai full and high.
And my enraptured gaze beheld
A dead hora floating by.
"1 read dot to my husband, und bt
says it vhas no poetry nothing spir
Ituelle about It"
"Dot vhas shealousy some more. He
can't write poetry himself, und so he
don't vhant you to. A dead horse vha?
aplrituelle if he vhas of de right color.
Go home, young womans go home und
know you vhas all right Vhy, if somr
one comes here und says to me vha;
dere some womans around here to Ik
an angel In a procession I mention your
name first of all. Yes, sir, you bet und
der newspapers fall over each odder tr
'get your picture.",
"Hans, you vhas der best man liv
ing," says dot vomans. Tnd vben the
goes out she vhas smiling und making
some dimples In her fat cheeks.
' Pot same day an old man comes In tc
have a cement patch on his shoe for
15 cents. He sits down mlt a grunt
und don't say nottings for ten min
utes. Den he speaks oop:
"Cobbler, I vhas courting a widow
womans. I belief I spend one boonerd
dollars In one year buying her presents
She says she vbill marry me, but vheu
she finds I don't own some brewery she
throws me down. Vhen I talk back ti;
ber she calls me an old fossil nnd sap
I have one foot In der grave, und dot
never In her life vhill she marry hoi
grandfather." ,
"Und dot hurts your feelings, eh?? I
says. -
"Mghliejt docs, Cobbler, he honest
mlt inc.'" Vhas I a ba"-k number? Vha
I on der brink of der grave?"
I loo ft at him for two minutes. H
vbai tuor. ab Seventy years old, und
te looks to oe ninety. I looks uud
looks, nnd don I laughs uud says,
"My boy. vheu you come Into dia
shop a few minute ago t belief It vha
a ypuna man who had knocked der
heel off his shoe. If you vhas over
forty-live I eat oop all my sole leather
uud let der trust rob pie some mora.
"Hans, I vhns distending ou you."
"Und so you can, but you can never,
never depend ou some widow womans
She like to marry you for your propej-
ty She likes to be rich und w,
around und have it In der 'paper dot
she kill somebody mlt her automobile
Vhen she finds you vhas no YauderbUt
she vbas mad und speaks out Vhy, I
have been through dot same mill ash
much anli ten times."
"Und I vhas all right? be says as
he begins to smile.
"Nobody could be righter. Vhy, mans,
yon shall marry twice yet before you
die. Let dot selfish, disappointed wUl
ow woman go by Texas uud do y.rj
hunt oop some young girl to bo your
wife." - ,
"Hang me if I don't. Say, cobble
your head vhas screwed on der right
vhay. If I talk mlt Presldont Roose
velt I don't belief he do me so much
good. Take a quarter for dot patch
und say nottings to nobody. Vhen
get married I send yon a bottle of
wine."
Und dencomea In a young man. lie
trie to be very flip ash be says he
vhanta some lifts put on bis heels, but
I can see dot he baf some bubbles ou
his mind. I dont say nottings, und he
whistles uud slugs for ten minutes.
Den he drops his voice down und aays:
"Cobbler, vhas you ever In lover
"Twenty different times, my son."
"Und did you ever ask a girl to marry
your
'Der same twenty."
It vbas all right IP you vhas In love
mlt a girl, but how can you tell if she
vhas in love mlt your
"Dere vhas one hoonered ways. If
dot girl leta you bold her band while
yon vhas riding en der street car she
vbaa In love mlt you und you can bet
naif
"Yes, I think the same. Ifut suppose
she'd laugh at me vhen I asked her to
be my wife?"
"Young man, don't you be afraid.
Der good Lord put males und females
Into dls world to mate. He put men
und womans here to love und marry.
Dere vbas some Shacks for all der Ji'.U.
Dot girl vhas shust aa anxious to marry
ash you vhas, only she must wait to be
asked. How far avbay does she live?"
Eight around der corner."
'Vhel!, here vhas a pair of shoes for
you to put on. You go right around der
corner und auk her to be your wife."
Lord, cobbler, but dot vhas awful
soonr
"Marriage vhas Bke a boll. Der soon
er It comes to a bead der better. Don't
be red In der face. Don't get der
shake. Don't stop' around ash If you
vhaa going to have a tooth pulled.
Shust walk right oop dare und be back
In feefteen minutes."
He vbas afraid, und I haf to push
him outdoors, but be takes a Ion?
breath nnd walks off. In ten minutes
Obliged to Lie With Limbs Higher
Than Head Suffered Untold
Agonies and Could Not Walk
Doctor Said It Was the Worst
Case he Ever Saw,
ANOTHER WONDERFUL .
CURE BY CUTICURA
"I received your letter asking for
information about using the Cutieura
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The doctor said it was the worst case
he ever saw. It was on both limbs,
from the knees to the ankles. We
tried everything the doctors knew of,
but the Cutieura Remedies did the
mast good. I was obliged to lie with
my limbs higher than my head, for the
fin was so terrible I could not walk,
suffered untold agonies. One limb
wasted away a great deal smaller than
the other, there was so much discharge
from it. I found the Cutieura Rem
edies very soothing, and I still keep them
in the house. I am very thankful to
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Remedies for the benefit of persons suf
fering from the torture of skin diseases,
such as I had. I remain, yours re
spectfully, Mrs. Golding, Box 8, Ayr,
Canada, June 6, 1905.'
CORED OF CHAPPED HANDS
"I have used the Cutieura Soap for
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suffered intense pain and itching. I
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I can recommend the Cutieura Rem
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Chas. Young, Plattsville, Ontario, Can
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Complete External and Internal Treatment for every
Humor, from Pimple, to Scrofula, from Infancy to Age,
couiIstiRR of Cutieura Soap, 2fc., Ointment, Stc, KetojV
nt, ouc. tin form of Oliwiolate Coated J'lllf, 'llx. per vial
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Potter Unig k Chvm. Corp., hole Prop., Hoiton, Maaa.
mr MaikU i ree, Jlow to Cue IttUuf, ! iluiuon.'
LIMB III
WITH ECZEMA
tKTWnrwvrtitra fOooU n"Mppy --man
I uever saw. lie linkcs me by one
hand uud by both Imuda, uud he give
nw half a dollar extra, und vhen he
goes avbay joy sticks out all over him.
Maybe I make more money if I vhns
president of a trust uud rob der peo
ples all I could, but a laetle shop und
der good will of der veoples vhas
enough for me shust now.
' - M. QUAD. '
: Itoaersaoaa, '
The Bride George, wwhat was that
last atation the brakeman culled out?
The Bridegroom I don't know, my
dear, but what's the use to find out?
Every station Is Paradise with ua Just
now. Chicago News.
, Why NoO
Munn-I discovered a curious thing
about one of my hens the other (my.
She eats tacks.
Chausen And lays carpets? Judge.
Th truly Weather,
The Gentleman ou the Hill-Had any
breakfast?
The Gentleman on the Fence Not a
drofc. Skaleh.
- v
Rom's rarrakevta.
Rosa weeth hf r parr nk wits
Tal da fortune ten da ctreeta.
Geeve her flva cent an' see
Wat your fortune gona be.
Leetla birds so smart, so wlaa,
Beet een cage an' weenk delr eye
Seetln' een a row dy wait
Teell she ope da leetla fate.
An' the tak' wun on a ateeck,
Keeaa he man' male' hwm peck
fortune card out wth heea beak.
Wat da card res say to you
klebbe so fa son' com' true.
Born' day mebbe I weeil e
Wat my fortune Bona b.
Erf I could be parrakeet
Pat she eesa keeaa ao tweet
I am sure I would be wis
Jua for loolcln' een her eyes.
Jlebbe so I be so smart
I find fortune een ber heart I
Dat'sa klnda fortune, too,
Dmt I weeah eea con' com" true.
T. A. Daly In Cathotle Standard aa
Ttmea. s :
Wounds, Bruises and Burns,
By applying an antiseptic dressing
to wounds, bruises, burns and like in
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they may be healed without matura
tion and in about one-third the time
required by the old treatment. This
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of modem surgery. Chamberlain's Pain
Balm acta on this same principle. It
is sn anti septic snd when applied to
such injuries, causes them to heal very
quickly. It also aliayi the pain and
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blood powoning. Keep a bottle of Pain
Balm in your home and it will save
you time and money, not to mention
the inconvenience and suffering such
injurieg entail. For sale by Frank
Frank and leading durggists.
Morning Astorian, 60 cents
month, delivered by carrier.
per
NOTICE OF RECEIVING BIDS BY
CITY.
NOTICE IS HEREBY GIVEN, THAT
up to the hour or 2 o'clock p. m.. on
Saturday, the 13th day of October,
1906, the Committee on Streets and
Public Ways of the Common Council
City of Astoria will receive sealed bld
of L'ut) city cf Astcria will rw-eiva sealed
for improving Exchange street from the
bids for repairing Commercial street,
from the ea.t line of 9th to west line
of 14th street, a ordered improved by
ordinance No. 3309, approved on the
6th day of October, 1906. The right is
reserved to reject any and all bids.
JENS H. HANSEN,
J. J, ROBINSON,
P. L. STANGLAND,
Committee on Streets and Public Ways.
10-7-4t
NOTICE OF RECEIVING BIDS BY
CITY.
NOTICE IS HEREBY GIVEN, THAT
up to the hour of 2 o'clock p. m
on Saturday, the 13th day of October,
1906, the Committee on Streets and
Public Ways of the Common Council
of the City of Astoria, will .receive
sealed bids for repairing McClure's
drain No. L from a point 10 feet east
of west line of 9th street, to a point
100 feet of west line of Oth street, as
ordered improved by ordinance No. 3308,
approved on the 6th day of October,
1906. The right is reserved to reject
any and all bids.
JENS II. HANSEN,
J. J. ROBINSON,
'P. L. STANGLAND,
Committee on Streets and Public Ways.
10-7-4t J
CLASSIFIED ADVERTISING.
HELP WANTED.
WANTKl 1HMT10N WANTED
BY
girt to do light hoime work.
309 Alameda Avenue,
Inquire
10-Mt
GIRL WANTED TO WORK IN BOARD-
Ing house, Mr. Joe Brown, 131 7th
St 10 0 St
WANTED SALESM EN. MANY MAKE
I too to $150 per month. Soma even
more, stock cleans grown on nr-
vat Ion", far from old orchards, Caal
advanced weekly. ., Choice of territory.
Addresa Washington Numery Company,
Toppenlsh, Washington." 25 tf
WANTED - KNERGKTIC. TRUST-
worthy man or woman to work In
Oregon, repreaentinf largo manufactur
ing company. Salary, to pu per
month, paid weekly. Expenws ad
vaneed. J. II. Moore, Astoria, Oregon,
0-20 4t
WANTEIV LADY OR GKNTLEMAN
of fair education to travel and col
lect fop firm of 1290,000 capital Sal
ary, $1 ,073 per yrar and expense. Fal
sry paid weekly and expensst advanced j
references renuired. Addrsas, with
tamo. J. A. Alexander, Astoria, Or
FURNISHED ROOMS.
FOR RKNT THREE
housekeeping room.
St.
FURNISHED
Apply 121 flth
(10Ht
FOR RENT REASONAftI.EFUR
nlihed room, private family, Inqidre
724 Exchange, 0 2011
WANTED TO RENT UNFURNISHED
house of 6 or 0 rooms, centrally to
rated. Addreai J 20, Astoria, 0 27 U
FOR RENT FURNISH ED ROOM IN
private family, 677 Exchange. 0-29 tf
FOR , RKNT FURNISHED ROOM,
Front room, bath, phone, prica rea
sonable. Corner Snd and Aator. Pri
vate home. 0 2H flt
FOR RENT-FURNISHED I.ODGIN0
house. Addreas Enne DeMett, A-
torian office. 10 U-flt
LOST AND FOUKD.
LOST-A COLD BADGE, ST. AN-
drew's Cross with crown V. R, on
reverae aide ; Elinor N. Carmlcnsel.
Five dollars reward will be paid for its
return to Mrs. Julius DavU, 173 0th
St. 10 7 tf
PROPOSALS.
PROPOSALS FOI BEEF ANT) MUT-
ton. Vancouver Barracks, Wn., Oct
2, 1906 Sesls proposals for furnishing
and. delivering fretdi beef and mutton
for six months, beginning Jan. 1. 1907,
will be received here and at ofllcei
eommiasaries t Fort Stevens, Ore.,
Boiae Barrack, Ida, Forts Ca'aey, Co
lumbia, Flagler, Law ton, Vancouver
Barracks, Walla Wal!a, Ward, Worden,
and Wright, Wash., until 10 a. m.,
Nov. 1, WOO, and then opened. Envel
opes containing proposal should be en
dorsed, "Proposali for frenh beef and
mutton, to be opened Nov. 1, 1000," and
addressed to commwsary of post to be
supplied, or to Lt. Col. George B. Da
vis, Chief Com'y.
NOTICE OF ACCEPTANCE.
NOTICE IS HEREBY GIVEN TOAT
the committee on streets and public
ways, city surveyor and the superin
tendent of streets, have filed a certifi
cate of the completion, of the Improve
ment of 7th street, from the south line
of Niagara avenue, to the north line
of Bay avenue, by E. A, Gerding, the
contractor, and unless objections are
niea against the same, tne name
be accepted by ordinance at the next
regular meeting of the common council,
OLOF ANDERSON,
Auditor and Police Judge of the City of
Astoria.
Dated September 29, 1906. fl-29-3t
BOARDING.
THE LEYDE.
Rooms with or without hoard;
rates reasonable; good accom
modation for transients, Hth
and Commercial.
NOTICE OF RECEIVING BIDS BY
CITY.
NOTICE IS HEREBY- GIVEN, THAT
up to the hour of 2 o'clock p, m., on
Saturday, the 13th day of October, 1900,
the Committee on Streets and Public
Ways of the Common Council of the
City of Astoria, will receive bids for
Improving Exchange street from the
west line of 9th street to a point 8
feet west of the east line of 8th street,
as ordered improved by ordinance No.
3301, approved on the 18th day of Sep
tember, 1900. The right is reserved to
reject any and all bids,
JENS H. HANSEN, '
J. J. ROBINSON,
P. L STANGLAND,
Committee on Streets and Public Ways.
FOB SAX.
FOR SALE UP ACRK RANCH. IM
proved, located at Senn, For par
tlculars Inquire of Robert Whldby, 811
Harrison Ave., or Ralph Sloop, Svenien,
Olt SALE ONE HOT AIR FURNACE
for sale. Inquire of John Hahn, or
J. Q. A. Bowiby. 10 Ht
PROFESSIONAL CARDi.
attorneys at iaw.
6has."Obercr6mbii,
AttorasyaMaw.
Gueral PractlttoDsr, Notary IJuWJo.
Rooms 33-3rbons Main tttfll.
rag Block, Cor. CommarcUl 4 12th St.
f. D. WlNTOIf,
Attsrnsy-atUw.
Practice in all United States and
Stat Co art In Oregon sod Washing
ton. Notary Publla. Phona Mala 041.
rooms I and S, Logan Building, corner
Commercial end Sixteenth stmts oppo
Its O. R. 4 N. Company dock.
MUSIC TEACBIR. .
WANTED -THREE MUSIC PUPILS.
Inquire at Astoria a oSiot.
MANDOLIN LESSONS GIVEN-MRS
O. D. BUwsrt, 127 Stvsata stmt
BOUSE MOVERS.
FREDRKCKSON BR08.-Wt mk
specialty of housa moving, earptoUra,
contract ors, irneral Jobbing! prompt at
tentlon te all orders. Corner Tenth aad
Duan. tf
OITtOFATHUTt.
DK. RBODA C RICEJ
OSTBOPATH
Offlca Mans); Did. Pnona Black I0I
171 Commerctaj 8U Astoria. Ors.
DENTISTf.
Ur. VAUGHAN,
Dkntist
Pythian Duilding, Astoria, Oregon.
Dr. W. 0. LOGAN
DENTISl
7 Oommcrcial Pt, Khanshan Building
BUSINESS DIRECTORY
RESTAURANT.
FIRST-CLASS MEAL
for 15c; nic cuke, coffee, pio, or
doughnuts, 5c, at U. S. Restaur
ant. 434 Bond St
BEST 15 CENT MEAL.
You can always find the best
15-cent meal in the city at the
Rising Sun Restaurant
612 OnmmerciaJSt.
Parker House
Oregon Restaurant
NEW AND FIRST-CLASS DINING
ROOM. ALL THE BEST THE
MARKET AFFORDS,
OPEN DAY AND NIGHT.
. Ccrr;r Ninth and
Phone Black 2184.
Astor Street.
Unprecedented
Succass of
THE GREAT
CHINESE DOCTOR
V Who is known
throughout the United
States on account of
his wonderful cures.
No poisons nor drugs used. He guaran
tees to cure catarrh, asthma, lung and
throat trouble, rheumatism, nervousness,
stomach, liver, and kidney, female com
plaints and all chronlo diseases.
SUCCESSFUL HOME TREATMENT,
If you cannot call write for symptom
blank and circular, inclosing 4 cents in
stamps. 'i f f t
tmt C. GEE WO MEDICINE CO.
1021 Flrat St, Corner Morrison,
PORTLAND, OREGON,
plftaae mention ths Astorian
WOOD YARDS.
WOOD ;
Cord wood, mill wood, box wood, any
kind of wood ( t lowest prices. Kelly,
the transfer man, 'Phone aigi Main,
Barn on Twelfth, opposite oaera
house, . .
St .-a S.T"'.
oil
HORSES,
nmr rirTiffla
' MRS. JULIUS DAVIS
(lata of Portland)
1 Graduat Nursa Royal London (Eng.),
Hospital. ,
; m nth at:: v ,,
LAUNDRIES.
BUTTON HOLS AT TBS BACK.
Your experience with It has no doubt
lead to much vexation, possibly pro
fanity. Iirok your fingernail trying to
pry it up from tbs neck land, ht
You won't bava that that experience tf
you send your shirts to u ws sv jroa
tills trouble, and danger of tearing th
ahlrt. Try ua and see,
f BOY T.ATmriBV
Tenth and Duan Stl. Pboos 1991
JAPANESE GOODS.
rivrrc ypttm qtttp
ai ad a jb s-i a w Jul
JAPANESE FIXINGS, MADE OF BAM
BOO, LIGHT, STRONG, HAND
MADE, TABLES, STANDS, CHAIRS,
WHAT-NOTS, BOOKCASES, SHELV
ING, ETC.
Yokohama Bazaar
625 Commercial 8L. Astoria.
HOTEL!
HOTEL PORTLAND
Fins HoM In the Northwest
PORTLAND, ORE.
WINES, LIQUORS AND CIGARS.
THE SAVOY
Popular Concert Hall.
Good nuslo. Ail are welcome. Cor-
nsr Sovmta and Astor.
WINES, LIQUORS AND CIGARS.
Eagle Concert Hall
320 Astor fit
The leading amusement housa.
Agency for Edison Phonographs and
Gold Moulded Records. ,
P. A. PETERSON, Proa.
CALL AND SEE US
"PaleBotiemlan
LaAerBee,
THE
BEER
FOR
THE
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WEALTHY
AND
v:;:;se , ;
on draught and in bottles ,
Brewed snder aanltary condltlona snd
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North Pacific
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ASTORIA, OREGON.
I THf IW RAD I
i ml viimvim una
i 4i9 BOND V I
I ASTORIA, 0REG0I
i Carries the Finest Line of
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Cigars I
0 ' S