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About The morning Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1899-1930 | View Entire Issue (May 26, 1906)
SATURDAY, MAY ifl, loofl. THE MORNING ASTORIAN. ASTORIA. OREGON. Bowser Spends Sad Evening The Death of His Old Friend Joe Birdsall Meets Him Very Much. WERE BOYS TOGETHER Starts to Make It Unpleaiant For Oth Folks Tackles i Neighbor For ! Playing t Banjo. M ICepj rlghl.llwi.by Mrt'Mura, Phillip A Co J ItS. IUVKIIt wa hiding b- lilml tlm liitil it'ior when Mr. Howsi-r rrlvl Iiohiii lln other ovimiIiik, nml an ln I'lilf-rH she avo It I tn h Hinrt by i-lapplng; a htiml on IiIh shoulder. Win IniiKlusl iimrrlly t tils surprise, but he looked at hiT lu aolftun way and ld: "W will hav no Joking thin evADlug. I do nut fwl In Dm mood." "Iln anything bad happened today?" ah urrld. , "Vwy imd, Imlood." "What la It7" Mr. Ilnmnpr shook hi head In a mournful way nnd lionvod a long algh, and there waa a break In hi voice aa he an Id: "Alas, my old friend Joe litrdaall la bo more! I gut word Oil nfiernoon that he dlnd In Texni a month u if "And whu In the land' name la Joe Hlrdsnll? 1 don't think I ever hiard you mention In mime." Mr. Huwrn-r led the way down to the dlnliitf rHini without answering. He ... ' ; . "WK RAT OH THK a ME BtHCH." eat down with n Mitch, carved the steak Willi a itrgnu, and It wan only after he had taken a bltu of mantled potatoes that he replied: "Joe ItlrilHiill wiy the playmate of my boyhood duya. We aut on the same bench together In achnol. We loved the an nie girl. We puddled In the same brook. We were like brother. There waa never a more loyal friend, and now be'a-he'a dead!" "It's funny that you bnvo never men tioned him hIiicc we were married," obaerved Mr. Ilowser after puwillng over It. "Some tliltiK are too wiered to mea tlon," wtia the reply, accompanied by a aorrowful ahnke of the head. "I think I have heard mother men tion the mun' name. When he was a boy he whs red headed nnd freckled faced, wasu'the?" ao, inn inn, ne wasn t: If your mother aaya he wna, aim ought to have her ear boxed." "Hut he win cross eyed and had a wart on hl chlu." Joe Waa Header of Character, "Not by a Illumed Bight! Iook here, woman, I don't propose to alt here and hear a dead man Insulted. About the time I proponed for your hand Joe saw yon for the flrttt time. He wo a great hand to rend character." "And he read mine, I suppose." "He did. He aald you were flippant and heartless and that If I married you I would regret It to my dying day." "I'm sorry Ito's dead. I should like to thank hlru for his words. No won der he panned away. It wus too much of a strain on him to rend character." Mr. Itowaer glared across the table at her, but made no reply. The next ten minutes putted lu alienee, and then they roue and went up to the alttlng room. He did not menu to apeak to her again Unit evening, but after a few minute n High escaped him, and he aald: "Joe's last thoughts were of me. Half n hour before he died be aald he wished wo were boy together again and sliding downhill." "How did It happen that he never visited us?" nsked Mrs, Bowser. "Because he felt grieved that I mar rled and left him alone In the world. We had pledged our solemn word to remain old bachelors." "How romantic! I should think you would feel conscience stricken over It and bring his body up here where you could weep over his tombstone." Mr. Bowser flushed up and was about to any something red hot In reply when the words were arrested on his Hps by the sounds of a banjo next door. The player played a few bar of a topical song and shuttled his feet In time. . "By the nineteen lophorned cows of Wisconsin, , do you hear that! My 'friend Joe Ulrd-all 1 lying in his lonely lexu grave, and tome vlllian next tloor la pitying ths banjo and bellow log Ilka a hungry calf!" "uue os uoesnt snow that youi rriend Is dead," "Hut he ought to know, Horn In stluct ought to warn him, and It would If he were half human. I wouldn't liavs believed that such things could be la thl the twentieth century. Listen to that, will your The man In the nest house gave th string seventeen preparatory twangs and then aang: "My Nanny, the ai that ihe love me, Aiut h will be true unto me, And I am a-lvlnf my Nanny, And I wUI be true unto ha." WMi1 Staaa rr II. "That's got to stop!" hoarsely whis pered Mr. Bowser as he shook his fist at the partition wall. "But the man has a moral and legal right to play and sing In his own house," replied Mr. Bowser. "I deny It. I deny that any human being ha a right to yawp around when my old schoolmate Is dead. It Is noth ing short of sacrilege, If he doesn't stop"- He was Interrupted again by the man neit door. He twanged a flourish and then aang; "My Nanry s a rad headed maiden; Hr tyt r of Imilgo bin; Her feat they remind m of gunboats, Hut that's nollilii to Tommy or you." "More of It, Mrs. Bowser-more of Itt" wa whlMred. 'Think how Joe and I played together In our boyhood day, ' kissed the same girl, fought with the sutne loys, went In swim ming together lu the same deep hole, ami then think of this! By the bobtull ed rhinoceros of Jericho, there I going o lt murder done!" "Nonsense!" replied Mrs. Bowser. "I tell you that any one has a right to do as he will In his own house. Why not go up to your room? You won't hear Uie not so plainly there. He'll get tired of making a noise pretty soon and go to rending." Tb Outrage an Poor J or. ' But he's got to (jult right now. I tell you It's un outrage on poor Joe, and I won't stand It. Hend the girl In to tell hint tltjt If he doesn't dry up i ll cohiii In and pitch him head tlrst out doors." "You know 1 cuu't do that 8he wouldn't go on such an errand, uut even If she would tho man would only defy you. If you'll only have patience for a few minute" The man next door began tapping hi feet on the floor and singing: "Ths eyes of my Nancy art squlntful; Tha too of my Nancy turn In; fltui humps up her bark as aha saunters. But a Uiuuwmd aba' got of tha tin." "Where are you going f' asked Mr Bowser a she made a grab at Mr. Bowser. "la there to break hi neck." "But you mustn't." "But I will." Ho broke away from her and passed down the hull and outdoor. She ran to the front window and saw him pass Into the gate of tho next house and ascend the steps. Then she heard tho Ml ring and Hie man stop singing a he reached: "Bo Nancy and me will be married. And Nuncy will aver ba true, And together we'll live" Then there were exclamations, then cuss words, then the Bounds of scuf fling and wrestling and dragging out Then Mrs. Bowser caught sight of Mr. Bowser being Hung off the steps luto Ihe snow, his anus and legs spread out frog fashion. She opened the door aa he cuuie limping up the steps. HI stiff hat wus cavtnl In, hi nose bleed- lug and his coat and vest torn open. "Well, you did It, didn't your she aald as she surveyed him. "You go to thunder!" he auswered aa be passed her and went upstairs. M. QUAD. HOW THE TIGER KILL6. ? Karae Ilia I'rer, bat Attarka If on tba Plank. I bsve taken considerable trouble te find out how tiger kill Isrge gams. Borne time ngo I wa asked to come and see a full growu bullock that had been killed by a tiger. On exambilng It I found the animal had It neck broken, and there were claw marks a the nose and shoulder, but nowhere else, There wa no doubt that tb tiger had Jumped at the bull and land ed on the shoulder, and when the bull turned his head to gore the tiger be must have pnt his claw out and with a sudden Jerk broken the neck. On another occasion I went to see a young buffalo which had Imeu killed by a tiger and found the same thing had happened. There were similar marks on the nose and also on the near shoul der, which clearly Indicated that this animal had been killed In the same way. Malays who have actually seen a tiger killing a buffalo told me they saw the same thing happen; also that IB dragging off a heavy carcass, such as buffalo or bull, he get most of ths weight across hi shoulder. Thl must be fairly correct, as I have often followed a kill, nnd the marks left Indicate that only a portion of the animal was trailing along the ground, i nave known a run grown bull, which ten men could not move, dragged for two miles by a tiger In a heavy Jungle, where roots of trees and swamp had to lie gone through. In no rasa have I seen the pug marks facing the wrong way except when stopping to feed, which proves he must carry a portion of tho animal over bis shoul der. The old Idea of n tiger killing large game by a Mow from his pnw Is non sense; besides. In India n tiger never face his prey, but attacks hi in on tin- flank unless charged. Another curious fact that miiy seem very like a fulry tale I that a tiger does not seem to mind a small lamp being tied over a kill about ten feet high, but will come and feed. I have known three occa sion when this has been tried, and each time a tiger lias come to feed Upon the carciiH.--London Field. Krt Ilia Word. Biggs-Old Hrown died last night Dlggs-Weli. he was a man of bis word anyway. Biggs-Whut do you meau by that? Ilggs-Forty year ago he proposed to an aunt of mine and declared he couldn't live If she refused him. Blggs-And did she refuse him? Dlggs-Yes, and now. true to his word, Brown ha ceased to live. Chi cago News, BRITISH BRIEFS. England's first representative pnrlln meut assembled In lL'fVo. Cnesur conquered Britain in the year 55 Ii. ('. The Roman occupation con tlnuod nearly T(H) years, or until -110 A.n. fn 1070 was passed the habeas cor pus act, which, along with (lie right of trial by Jury, Is the great bulwark of Anglo-Saxon liberty. The groat plague was Introduced lute Loudon In MM by bales of cotton Im ported from Holland; 100,MM) persons succumbed to the disease In ono year. Cromwell's long parliament assem bled In ltl-ll); Charles I. was beheaded Jan. 30, UWd, nud Cromwell became lord protector In 1(153. In TilfiO the Sfiuirts were restored to the throne. Westminster abbey, where the kings and queens of Croat Britain nn crowned, was originally n Benedlctlnn monastery. It was founded by So bert, king of the Fast Saxons, about llylee on Bills. Among the humorous memories con nected with English Judges Is one of Justice Bylos and his horse. This em inent Jurist was well known In hla profession for his work on "Bills," and as this gave a fine opportunity for al literation his associates were accus tomed to bestow the name on tho horse, which was but a sorry steed. "There goes Bylos on Bills," they took pleasure In saying, and as the Judge rode out every afternoon they Indulged dally It) their Utile Joke. But the truth was that the horse had another name, known only to the master and hla man, nnd when a too curious client Inquired as to the Judge's whereabouts he was told by the servant, with n clear con-1 science, that "muster was out on Busl. ness." A Donbtfal Aavaatac. "I)o you think that sarcasm la a val uable gift?" "Sometime." answered Miss Cayenne. "It occasionally enables you to po litely offend people who might other wise Insist on boring you." Washing ton Star. Located. lootor-Now, Olios, can you tell mn exactly where you feel tho pain? Clles-Well, sir, It's a hyporcrlterly sort of pain. 1 puts mo linger on It and It ain't there, ami when I touches where It's gone to it's In the old pluci all the tluio - l'uiicii Her l ittle Scheme. Toss 1 saw Miss Vane on the ave nue yesterday with a lovely now hat but she had It cocked over so fur to one side It wivh almost falling off her head. Joss Yes, she told me she pushed It over that way Just as you ennio along so you'd bo sure to notice It. Philadel phia l'ross. Uoodby, Pork SusMldKe Time. Goodby, pork susslilgo time. giodby. Springtime Is dimpling In the silken sky. Spring work may open up now any hour, Ith hitching up of traces una the plow to scour. First hens Is slttln' fer tho "early fry." So goodby, pork saaslilgo time, goodby. Moss on the sunny slopes, green all around, Dry on tho hillsides, frost left tha ground; Honkln' through the sea o' sky wild geese pass; Cattle, tired o4 roughness, pining fer grass. Won't bo long till seed time; the days jest fly. So goodby, pork snssldge time, goodby. Goodby, pork snssldgo time, goodby. You and flapjacks draw tho parting sigh. But other friends Is comln' dock green on the way. Roastln' ears, old roastln' ears, be here some day. Oh, watermelons, peach time, come anfl dry my eye! Bo goodby, pork aussldge time, goodby. Kansas City Time. "The Morning Aatorian, 65c. month. A Wonderful Book of 400-Ptojsfes 1 - Thoroughly Illustrated By 265 Actual Photographs Taken at the time of the Awful Catastrophe This great, book which retails at $1.50 and so much desired by every one is now offered as a premium with T1 i tie Morning' Astorian In order to get the Book subscribe for the MORNING ASTORIAN at the regular subscription rate, 65c a month and 50c addditional to cover cost of express age. Old subscribers can ret thiV book by paying the additional charge of 50c. if , Only a limited number of books will be given away come early and avoid the rush.