TUESDAY, MAY I, ip.
TUB MORNING ASTORIAN. ASTOMA. OREGON.
a
Wanted
A Reader
1 HAKHIeTo. CANflELD
Covvrivht, Ifot, by K, C. PamUi
Jean Draper waltxed Into tbt shabby
Uttlt room with a copy of tbt mora
log paper In her baud. "Threl" aha
tried exultantly. "Read that-read II
loud, cblld!"
Th "cblld' wai oiucb older tad
larger tbao Uia young woman wbo ad
dressed ber and far more aedate. 8ha
bad auotbnr nameMary Brandon bat
It had fallen Into "lauocuou dosut
tilde" luce the advent of Jean, wbo
motjjered every one, from the milk
man's boy to the minister,
"Vou read It," Mary aald, "my throat
la like a nutmeg grater Uile morning."
Tim animated look faded from Jeau'a
face and the detracting llttlo dimple
In tier left cheek stopped work Imme
diately, "Oh," aha cried regretfully, "I
forgot your cold! You ran't do It, after
all. Juat lUlen to this: 'Wanted -An
educated elderly lady to read aloud to
young man. Apply 2171 Dale avenue,
0 to 10 a.m.'"
Mary Brandon looked up from tbe
button hole ahe waa making at ao
much -or ao little- a doom and laughed
boaraely,
"Mince when," audi ahe, "baa your
'child' become an 'elderly lady, Jean?"
"Ob, 1 know you wouldn't do aa you
are, but you make up ao beautifully!
Remember when you were Uurbara
Frtetclile at the Wblttler eoclalT You
bore that wig now, haven't you, cbltdt
But you're hoarae, ami ao"-
",ml ao you can apply," Mary Inter
rupted her.
"I? You know what a mlaerabl
reader I am -galloping along one page
and balking nt a long word or French
phraae on the next. If I could rhooae
my own book'Kusy Htorlea of One
and Two HyllHhlM, For Heglnuera, ot
aomethlng like that - I'd think It no aln
to deceive the unauapectlng youth. I
believe I'll do It. They really don't
need me now at the '('hlrojxHllat' Tar
lor.' Dr. (Jray Intimated na much yes
terday." Mary lauithed derlalvcly. "Try It 'f
you like," h aald. "There may be no
neceaalty for an elaborate makeup. It
be needa a reader It'a probably becauat
hta eyea have liven out-glaaaea, my
wig, an elderly manner, and there yon
are! Nothing will give you away un
leee It la your laugh, Jean. It aounda
ao young! Itut you haven't laugbed
much lately, I've noticed." Mary look
ed ateadlly luto her frtend'a soft brown
eyea. "Come now," ahe aald, " 'feaa
up, dear, that you rare more for Dr.
ta tan yon (manned when vou in-
I
r
Da
aiated ou coming ucie to earn your
living-poor, llttlo living! If you bad
It to do over, wouldn't you"
"Never mind what I'd do, child,"
Jean an Id quickly, the warm color
flooding her telltale fuce, "What yon
are about to do l of more Importance
now. Heboid your lay figure! Make
of me what you will,"
A half hour later a trim "elderly
lady went forth to seek a poeltlon aa
reader. Two houre later tbe lady re
turned, tthe fairly flew Into the room
and aunk on the old couch, laughing
and crying In tbe aame breath.
Mary laid down her work. "Didn't
you get tbe place?" ahe aiked. "Aren't
you engaged?"
Jean laughed hyeterlcally. "Tee,"abe
aald; "yea, I'm engaged."
"Well, then, why are you crylngl
JVbere la your wig, and"
Jean atopped ber with a little ges
ture. "Cblld, child," ahe cried, "you'll ner
ar gueia wbo tdvertUtd.. I didn't, even
"TILL Ml, Al TOC HARMED?"
worn i aaw ma aign! Whitney la not
aa uncommon name, yon know."
"Dr. Whitney" Mary gaaped. "Tom
Whitney In thla city? Ob, Jean, what
did you do?"
"Went In, of cotirae. A maid uabered
me Into a dimly lighted room where a
man aat In a reclining chair with a
bandage over hla eyea. He waa big
and broad abotildered. with a llttia wavt
la bla hair that reminded me of Tom.
Whsm S tnrrtu -k to me I aaw
Morning Astoriam
y in
The Astoria n Wants 50 O New Subscribers
And in Order to Do This the Price Has Been
educed From 75c to 65c a MoEtli
Be Loyal to Your Town and Begin the New Year by
Taking Astoria's Greatest Paper, The Astorian"
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FOR 66 CENTS
tUt It waa Tom, wot eo aaa raced ana
nbdoed tbat I could btvt cried to aee
Mm. .
Luckily be didn't aak my name, and
fear of detection changed my volet t
that my owi mother wouldn't bart
recognised It. Tleaae be seated,' be
aald quietly, 'my eyea bava been badly
need and are on a atrlke at preeeot.
I'm under ordera to humor them for a
few week.'
"Then be lifted a book from the table
at bla elbow and asked me to read. It
waa a acleutlflc work -aomebody'a hor
rid medical etaaya. 1 atumbled through
tbt first page, and when 1 looked op,
my face crlmaou with embarraeement,
be waa fixing bla bandage, and tbe aad
look bad left bla face, I'm aure there
waa a amlle biding at tbe corner of bit
mouth t
'"You needu't read any mere,' be
aid, 'but your voice la ao aootblng tbat
I wlab you'd talk.'
"T-t-talk,' I atammered. 'About
wbatr
" 'Oh, the duye of your youth or any
old thing,' be aald with aucb a boy lab
laugh Unit I knew be bad recognized
me. Tbe bandage bad been moved to
eonie purpoae! lie needed punishment
-didn't he, cblld 7-and I promptly ad
mlnlalered It."
"Ob, what did you dor Mary aaked
anxloualy.
"I adjuatef my spectaclea with a
grandmotherly air and aald, i will tell
jou of aomethlng tbat happened long
ago. I waen't married then, and"
"My llatener came auddeuly to an
upright poeltlon and aald etcrnly: 'Are
you now? Tell me, are you married
now?'
'"No! I cried In a panic. 'No, In
deed! I'leaae He down, and I'll 111 re
cite aomethlng.'
" 'Yea,' be aald, after a moment'a hes
itation, and there waa a laugh In bla
tolce. reclte tbe "Prisoner of Chll
km.'" "You know It beglne 'My balr la
white, but not with yeara?' Well, I'd
recited Just that far when he reached
out and lifted wig, bonnet and all from
toy bead. 'No,' be cried, 'It lan't white
with yeara,' and then he I mean I"
Jean laughed, bluahed and came to a
full atop.
"Ye?" Mory aald encouragingly,
"What did you do, dear?"
"I well, you remember I told you
tbat I waa 'engaged?' "
Hear? tier' Croat Moaaorr.
It la aald that no man ever bad a
more marveloua memory for facet
than Henry Clay. The Inatancea ali
en to prove thla are numbcrleea. On
one occaalon be waa on bla way tt
Jackaon. Ml., and tbe cara atopped
for a abort time at Clinton. Among
tbe crowd wbo praed forward waa
one Tlgoroua old man who lnalated tbat
Kr. .Clay, would recognize blm. He
HERE YOU ARE
Ua-K
fhe Moimtllhi For 65c
bad loat one eye.
"Wbera did I know yon?" aaked Mr.
Clay, filing a keen glance on thla man.
"In Kentucky," waa the reply,
"Had you loat your eye before then,
r have yon loat It alncer waa tbt
aext question.
"Bloce," anawered the old man.
"Turn the sound aide of your face tt
mt ao I can aee your profile,'' aald Mr.
Clay peremptorily, and tbe man obey
ed. "I hove It!" aald Mr. Clay after
a moment'a acrutlny of tht profile.
"Didn't you give rne a verdict aa Juror
at Frankfort, Ky In tbe famoua caat
of the United ftrste vereue Innla
twenty -one yeera ago?"
"Yea, air!" cried tbe old man, trem
bllng with delight.
"And lan't your name Hard wicker
queried Mr. Clay after another mhv
nte.
"I told you he'd remember me!" cried
the old man, turning to tbe crowd.
"He never forgeta a face: never for
get a facer'
The Harp of Brlaa Borolhaae.
In the mueeum of Trinity college,
Dublin, there are bundrcda of tboo
aand of relic, but the one In which
moat people take the greatest Interest
la tbe harp which once belonged to
Brian Borolhme, or Brian Bora, aa he
la moat commonly called. Brian
Borolhme waa tbe I Hah monarch who
waa killed In the great battle at Clon
tarf In the year JOH A. D. Brian left
bla ban' and hi crown to hi son
Donagh, who aticceeded a king. Soon
after Donagh wa deponed by a war
like nephew and waa forced to retire
to Rome. He took hla father'a crown
and harp with him, and they were
kept In the Vutlcnn collection for aev
eral centuries, the crown, which la of
maaalve hammered gold, being still
numbered among the pope' treasure.
The harp, however, waa Bent to Henry
VIII., and he presented It to the first
Earl of Clanrlcarde. It wo deposited
In tbe museum mentioned In the open
ing la the year 1872. Tbe harp la
thirty-two Inches blgb and of good
workmanship, tbe carving on the oak
frame being equal to anything tbat
could be done today. It Is well pre
served and does not look to be an In
strument upward of 1,000 yeara old.
Chlldrea'a Aaawers.
A young teacher In one of tbe public
school waa telling a friend of ber
about tbe humorous anawera made by
aom of ber pupils.. Here la the an
swer of a bright boy In tbe geography
clasa: "The mariner" compass waa la
vented by a man alwaya pointing to
ward the north." In another Instance
tbe teacher bad aald to the class, "No
matter what tbe elze of tbe circle, what
does It alwaya contain r She meant,
of course, 860 degrees. A boy, with an
air of wisdom, cromntly redled. "A
mm." i raring a pnysiowgy meson -
other boy, In answer to a question re
garding the nae of the human trunk.
aid, "Tbt trunk Is tbat part of yoir
body which keepa you from being legs
II tbe way up to your aeck." Tbt
teacher, In distributing pens for a
writing lesson, happened to give ont
cblld a stab pen. The child walked up
to the desk and, looking earnestly lu
the teacher' face, said gravely,
"Please, Mia , I can't nae this ber
pen; It'a a substitute pen."-Philadelphia
Record.
Opponent think tbat they refntt oa
when they repeat their own opinions
and take no notice of ours.-Goetbe.
A Praiseworthy Retort.
Rev. Sprogglns I'm pleased to beat
your grandson Is so well behaved, Mrs.
Buddie.
Mrs. Buddle-Ab, sir, he's jist like
bis pore, dear father. He alwaya bad
a bit took off hi sentence for good be
havior. Tatler.
The Tables Tarned.
Mrs. M. bad corrected ber four-year-old
son five times within tbe honr.
"Robbie, dear," she bad pleaded after
tbe last offense, "I bate to punish you
o often. Why don't you try to be
good?"
"Why, I do, mother," the child re
plied, "but you don't know bow bard
It is. I just wish you'd try it and aee
for yourself eome time." LIpplncott'a
Magazine.
Eq aator oa a Tear.
They were holding midyear examina
tion In one of tbe public schools. Tbt
abject waa geography. One of the
questions was, "What Is the equator?"
"The equator," read the answer of a
nine-year-old boy, 'Is a menagerie lion
running around tbe center of the
earth."-Jadge.
Going to Bed.
I TELL you what, when overthing
la alasllng In my head , ,
'Bout plratsa or a storm at Ma. ' ,
Or Injun acouta or battle gaol
1 hat to go to bod!
1 want to know, ao awful bad,
Juat what th and will be.
in' whan thit loud old clock foot whirl
I keep aa atlll-I naver stir
But mother looks at me
An' aaya: "My dear, it' time for bad.
You know w can't allow
Thla sitting up." But then 1 tease:
"Aw, Juat thla one ahort chapter, please!
It' ao suiting now!"
Then 'taln't a minute till dad aaya,
"A lengthy chapter, son!"
An mother aaya, "Come, eome; enough"
An' dad ha aaya: "That boy a bluff!
Come, yoongeter, scuttle run!"
An' then dad chase me upstair
To make aie go to bed
An' spanks me, an' I thump blm back,
An' then he gives me on mors whack
An' atanda m on my head.
I hate to start to go to bed.
Tbe aame way every night,
But dad, he makea It alt a game
I have to mind, though. Just the aame;
I tU you. dad all right!
Then mother come an' hears my prayer.
An' dad gets me a drink,
An' then dad hugs us both real tight.
An' we hug back with all our might
It's kind o' nice, I think.
Edna Klngsley Wallace In Woman'
Home Companion.
RlaaroA at Homo.
A certain Deacon 8am Knowlton la
bla day had the reputation of being a
great hunter. At tbe beginning of ev
ery hunting season he woold go Into
Cumberland county, and on bla return
ht waa alwaya laden with many atorle
In which he figured aa hero. But the
fact remained that while hla supply of
stories was always large bis game bag
waa usually empty.
One of his neighbors, a physician,
beard hla stories until be waa tired.
Ont evening at a social gathering the
matter waa being discussed.
"Deacon Knowlton a great banter!
Of course he Is," exclaimed the doctor.
"He la tbe greatest hunter In the state
of Pennsylvania, bnt darn me If be
waa ever known to find anything!"
Philadelphia Ledger.
The Retort Cearteoas.
A patronizing young woman waa re
cently being shown through one of th
government schools for Indiana, when
ahe came upon a fine looking Indian
girl of perhaps sixteen year of age.
The Indian girl waa bemming napkins,
and the other girl watched for om
momenta In alienee. Then the aaked
the Indian, "Are yon civilized."
The Sloux raised ber bead (lowly
from her work and glanced coldly at
her Interrogator. "No," ahe replied, aa
ber eyes again tank to ber napkins,
"art youf Woman'e Home Com-