A . .
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THE MORNING ASTOItlAN. ASTimtr. OIIEGOX.
WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 17, 1905.
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Bowser
Tries
Sunrise Cure
1
His Newest Early Rising Fad
1 For Impaired Health !
Not a Succes.
And When They Let Him Ga He
' Gets a Drubbing From Two Ped
dler. He 1 OtfendeA
M
fCoprrKH U0(, by McClur. Phillip a
co.j
ft. BOTTSER had been amok-
lag and reading for bait an
hour when h began to bitch
arouud la a ncrroni way and
glear hla tolc. Mr. Bowser knew
that ha had something on bla mind, but
the let him turn It orer and orer until
he got ready to aay:
.1 wonder what tlmo the tun rlaet
Iheto morning H
"Somewhere around 4 o'clock, I be
Here."
He waited another five minute and
Khan obeerred:
"I waa apeaktng to Green today
about my feeling all run down, and he
eld no I ought to try the sunrise
ture,"
"What la thatr
"Why, yon get up and take a walk
a the aun rise. It la said that the
enn for the first half hour In the morn
ing haa peculiar virtue. Green bad
church bell around that neighborhood,
and ao It turned loose and made thing 1
lively. Two aleeper awoke-two scar
ed people Jumped out of bed-but It
wai Mr. Beweera voice that waa beard
saying:
"Now may I be turned Into a huckle
berry before I stand any wore of this!
Woman, you inunt have given that
clock a tlukker
"I waa aouad asleep," protetted Mr.
Bowser.
Then that old yaller eyed cat of
your was inuring around here and
started It off to spite me, and Ml have
her lifer'
"Better throw the clock out of the
window and wake yourself up when
It'a time. If you kwp the hour on your
mind you'll wake up nil right"
Mr. Bowser walked out Into the hall
and gnve the clock a heave Into the
darkness downstairs. When It landed
OS
OS
ajS
u
mi
IT
P
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PI
Situations Wanted Advertisements Inserted
Twice Without Charge.
HELP WANTED.
It set up a new whir aud kept It going r
for ten uiluutm, and wben the strain
died away It waa like the last sigh of
a lost tout Sleep came again, but at
2 o'clock the sunritte man waa out of
bed to see what time It was; also at a
quarter to 8; also at a quarter past;
llso at half tat. At the latter hour
there were stgua of daylight, and be
began to dress.
It was his private opinion while
dresslug that (iitt-u or any other man
who got up to take the aunrlse cure
was an ass, but after getting dowu
stairs and outdoor aud hearing the
rumble of the milk wagons he felt bet
ter about it. He eat on the front step
until day had fully dawned and uutl
a policeman had eouie along and asked
him if he bad roosted there all night.
and then he started for a walk In the
suburbs. Green UUlu't claim ..that the
aun had any better show out there, but
RAILWAY MAIL CLERKS FOR TOSl
lions In Oregon) 10 men wanted to
prepare for coming examination j be
ginning salary $800. Write at once to
E. 0, Ilyncn, 12 Brcedea bldg, Tort-
LEARN "afiLBORAPBT AND, R. R
Accounting. $30 to tSOO a month sal
ary aaaured our graduate under bond.
Oar six schools the largest la America
and endorsed by all Railroads. Write
(or catalogue. MORSE SCHOOL OF
TELEGRAPHY, Cincinnati, 0., Buffalo,
Jf. Y, Atlanta, Q-, La Croase, Wis., Tex
arkana, Tex Sea Francisco, Cal
WAXTED-EMPIjOYMENT AS STA
tionary or donkey engineer. Address
X, car "Aatorian."
WANTED YOUNG MAN, GOOD EDU
cation, would like work of any kind.
AeMres L. M. G., 01 re Aatorian.
lie wantnl nil tlixr In It 11
hadn't walked two blocks when an uM I WANTED A TOSITION FOR LIGHT,
tramp with straw tu hi hair, who bad! insW worki willing to learn. Twenty
IT waa a nrxoKD vr norma,
the same feeling of lassitude that I've
got, and getting up early for a week
affected a perfect cure."
"This la the first I have heard about
any feeling of lassitude. If you are
feeling that way, why not go to a doc
tor and get a tonic V
; "Why not go to a doctor and be hur
ried to my grave? Haven't I paid out
tens of thousanda of dollars to doctors,
and have they ever done me the least
good? I haven't said anything about
ihl feeling because I didn't want to
.frighten you, but the time has come
when I must do something. I have no
more appetite than a sparrow, and I
would hardly go across the street to
pick up a dollar."
A he had come running up the steps
on reaching home that evening and as
he had eaten a hearty 6 o'clock dinner
Mrs. Bowser could hardly reconcile his
statements. She sighed and waited for
further developments.
"And ao I think I'll begin "In the
morning and take the sunrise cure."
"Very well"
"You you think it's all right, don't
youi"
Certainly, les, by all means get
tip at daylight and get out where the
first beams of the rising sun will fall
upon you. It may be the means ef sav
lng your life."
A flush came to Mr. Bowser's face
as be thought she spoke In sarcasm,
ibut after a moment he decided that
ehe was sincere, aud lie forgave her
and said that be would attend to wak
leg himself up at half past 3 in the
morning. He would try the sunrise
ure for a week, and If it benefited
Llm he would expect her to walk out
with him thereafter. Things were left
In this shape, and 9 o'clock saw tb;
gas turned out and the Bowser family
In bed. Mr. Bowser Luiitcd up on old
alarm clock and set it for the hour he
wanted to arise ainl went to kVc
thinking of r-d suns and dwy mead
ows. At exactly half pat 10 the Itus
e.'cn and Japanese fleets ex me together
with a whlr-r-r-r and lifted him out 0
Led with the exclamation:
"By the eyebrows of the Cardiff gi
ant, but what on earth is going on la
this house!"
"It Is your old alarm clock that Is
going on," answered Sirs. Bowser at
she got her breath.
80 It was. No one but a jeweler or
a cook can set an alarm clock and be
cure that it will go off at the right
hour.
, Mr. Bowser lifted it up and gave It a
iwat against the wall and then reset It
and growllngly got back into bed. II U
Jaltb In the sunrise cure was shaken
for a moment, but then he remembered
that alarm clocks and sunrises were
two different things and decided not to
t discouraged. The clock ticked away
en the stand beside him, the crickets
aang hi the wet grass outside, and the
eight bumped along until the bells
truck midnight. The sound aroused
jtbe ambition of the clock. It didn't
propose to take a back teat for nny-.
turned out of some alley, came tlous
and baited to say:
'It's what brought me where I am
today."
"What do you mean?"
"Turning out at this ungodly hour of
the morning to get a ulp. 1'rop It, old
man. Iro it or It will drop you."
At the next crossing a milkman tried
to run over him, and a policeman look
ed at htm suspiciously and shook hi
head, and when be had gone five block-
be encountered three roisterers who
had been out on an all night lark and
were weaving along arm in arm and
singing at the top of their vo'.ces.
"Shay, old man-ehayr they called
out in chorus.
"Well what la it?"
"Let r feller have a closer look at
that rum blossom nose of yours, will
yon? How long did It take you to bring
out the colorr
Mr. Bowser would have got away
without a row, but the trio grabbed
I hold of blm. and lu the strnule all
1 went down together, knd wben be final
years of age. Address Cha Laraen, Bay
Center, Washington.
MUSIC TEACHER.
MANDOLIN LESSONS GIVEN'-MRS.
a D. Stewart, 127 Seventh street
FOR SENT FURNISHED ROOMS.
FURNISHED ROOMS A LARGE
furnished or unfurnished room on
Commercial street, with gas and bath,
reasonable. Inquire at "Aatorian."
BUSINESS DIRECTORY Z
RESTAURANTS.
GUM VAH CO.
Restaurant
ajl Aster St
All kinds of nia!a
Suey.
Aiterla, Ore.
Noodlei and Chop
-UJZ..t..ji
NOTICE TO
STOCKHOLDERS.
TO EE POINT OYSTER HOUSE.
Eastern and Shoal water Bay Oyster
Steaks, Chops, Etc.
Open day and night.
lltk St, next to Scully's cigar store
FIRST-CLASS MEAL
for 15c; nice cake, coffee, pie, or
dpughnuts, 6c, at U. S. Restaur
ajit 434 Bond St
BEST 15 CENT MEAL.
You can always find the best
16-ccnt meal in the city at the
Rising Sun Restaurant
612 CotnmercialSt.
Notion is hereby given that the an
nual meeting of th to-khoMer of
the Astoria E'Wtrio (Vmppany will be
held at the ofllce of th comppany, Pug
Block, Atoria, Oregon n Monday Mis
eighth, day of January, BMW, at t
o'clock, p. M, for the purpn of
electing a board of directors, to aene
during the entulng yer, and for tlie
transaction of such other business a
may lawfully come before the meeting.
C N. MUCINS,
Secretary
Aatoria, Oregon, Dumber 10, lixtf.
MEDICAL,
PROFESSIONAL CARD.
PHYSICIANS.
JAY TUTTLE, M. D.
PHT8IC1AN AND 6UKOE0N
Aetlng AaiUUBt Burgeon
C.S. ataxia Hospital BervU.
OOe hour: 11 to II am. 1 to :! paa,
47? Commercial Street lad Floor.
LAUNDRIES.
The Troy Laundry
Th only whit labor laundry In th
ity. Dos th beat work at reasonable
priosa and la In evry way worthy of
your patronage.
DR. J. P. GORAY,
Specialist
EYE, EAR,
NOSE AND THROAT
S05 Oregoniaa Building.
PORTLAND .... OREGON
OSTEOPATHISTt.
BOARD AXD ROOMS FOR SEVERAL
parties can be secured at the Holden
Houxe, 9th and Duane street.
FOR RENT-FOUR UNFURNISHED
rooms for housekeeping. Man and
wife preferred. Cheap rent to right
parties, 1601 Thirty-fourth street
FOR RENT-THREE FURNISHED
rooms for light heue keeping. No
hidren. Enquira 472 Commercial street
FOR SALE.
FOR SALE SEVERAL CHEAP BED
room suits, lot of curtain, shades,
one range, and other housefurniiihing
articles. Apply at once C21 Exchange
street
FOR RENT NICELY FURNISHED
rooms with stoves: also houseketoinff
ly managed to pull loose hla coat waa rftnm. Wrrr r,nn,M. 578 rm.n.UI
riniuJ .m 4k. k. t M vt. 1.1.1
n,wn, 11. . N , htreet, Shanahan budding.
but after going a few pace be made
up hla mind to aee It out The sun
was rising blood red. and what be had
to say to Mrs. Bowser would keep for
another hour.
In fifteen minutes be reached a wide
expanse of commons, and there he
stood and swelled out-his chest and
breathed In the morning air and let the
bright orb of day hit him between the
eyes. It was glorious. It was an elixir.
It was worth a dollar a minute to his
health. He could feel the thrill of re
turning health--he was feeling It
when two truck peddlers came along
on their way Into town to whoop and
yell and shriek and wake everybody
up. When they had reached Mr. Bow
ser they halted.
"Same old coon that threatened to
break my jaw a month ago becauxe I
hollered In front of hi house," whis
pered one.
"The came old ciauk that offered to
kick uie out of his yard laxt Wednes
day," added the other.
'Let's go for him!"
Then the kun-the rising sun-the
blood red sun-the health giving sun
the huu tflat Green had recommended
for lassitude wituesMed another epl
ode In the career of Bowser. He
fotiifht well and j?auiely, but the hea-
theu prevailed, and It waa a buntred
figure that Mrs. Itowser and the cat
welcomed at the gate.
"What In heaven's name has hap
pened'"
"Wonun"-
"U this the nunrlHe cure?"
"Wonran, behold your work."
"How Biy workT
"Come Inside the houne. I can only
stop a few minutes, but our respective
lawyers can afterward orranjre all
about the alimony. I understand all
all, and the dead line hat been reached
et hurt.- M. QUAD.
10th and DUANE Sta, Phen 1Wt
GARDENING.
IDTTKD PLANTS AND FLOWERS
for taleExperinced gardening and
job work of all kind don on abort
notice Addreas orh-r to X. C, care
Aatorian Office.
WOOD YARDS.
WOOD! WOOD! WCOD
cora wooa, mm wood, mi wood, any
kind of wood at lowest price. EDy,
th transfer man. 'Phone stoi Mala,
Bara oa Twelfth, opposite opera
house.
TAILORING.
fOR SALE SECOND-HAND 7 COL-
umn newspaper outfit; complete x
:pt press; cheap. Inquire at this of
flee.
LOST AND FOUND.
LOST IN STAR THEATRE, DIS
charge papers from Company "L."
Twenty-Third infantry, U. S. A., Finder
please have at this office and receive
reward.
LOST lady's mall, silver, open-faced
watch, with initials "M. R." on same;
finder pleae leave at thin office.
FOR SALE MISCELLANEOUS.
SECOND HAND DONKEY ENGINES
for sale, suitable for logging and
hoisting purposes. For description and
price apply to F. D. Kuettner, Astoria,
Orejfon.
The
Astoria
Restaurant.
GOOD, CLEAN
MEALS
EXCELLENT
SERVICE
OPEN ALL NIGHT
399 Bond St, cor. Ninth
FOR SALE CHEAP HORSE, BUG
gy and harness. Inquire Aatorian of-
EMBROIDERY LESSONS GIVEN
LESSONS IN HARDANGER EM
broidery ia given by Mrs. Julius
Erickmn, 63 Weat Bond street, AstSria,
for 25 cent per honr.
for Kidney
& Bladder
troubles. .
Cures In
48Hours
URINARY
DISCHARGES
BahCpattte T
m . . . 1. -
emtarw or Mvirrau
bear!
B. MARTINSON
Fin mfrrhtnt tailor ing, Room 5, over
Cooper's store, K. of P. Building. As
toria.
FURNITURE.
ROBINSON tL H1LDEBRAND
Goodman Bldg. 688 Commercial 8t
UP.NITURE, Carpets,
8tovaa, Matting, Window
LINOLEUM, Ete.
Asdding
Shades,
BROKERAGE.
Y C. J. TKENCIIARI)
Real Estat, Inaurane, Commiaalor
and 8hlpplng.
CUSTOM HOUSE BROKER.
Offio 133 Ninth Street, Naxt t Juatloa
Offioe.
ASTORIA. OREGON.
15 1 1
The
Smith Premier
is the simplest and strong
est of all writing machines.
It does better work, does
it quicker,lasts longer,
and costs less in the long
run than any other type
writing machine. It is
The World's Best
Typewriter
Let in ttni you our CttU book telling
ill about h. Typewriter lupplirl. M
chinca rented. Stenograph fumkhei.
The Smith Premier
Typewriter Company
4, fuik iu, Portinl n
DR. RBODA C. HICKS
OSTEOPATH
Offlc Uanaat. Did. Phone Black 20(1
171 Commercial St, Astoria. Or.
THE
Dr. C. GEE WO-
Medicine Co.
Formerly loraltxl 2&9
AWer Street: for the
past flfeycara,IIAVC
MOVED Into the
1 large brlok building
at the south-aast mr.
nr 01 r irat ami Morrison Btreeta, En
trance No. iffil Front 8L
Successful Hone Treataeot
br.C.OKg WO Is known thrmifhoal the
Oiillixl 6UIM, and la mlted tha Ura VMivm
lwrtor ou tTOitol of bla wo4arfttl ear
without tu aid of a knife, wiihoul uala
pniMMioi diu(fany kind. II trwtu aay
andalldlara wltb pownrMil orltol root
berba, hark, and ventaele that ar uo
known to medical acleBMi la this eoanLrr.
and Ibrootn lb um nf tbeaa Iwrailea rae
dlra beguaniutfea U cure
Catarrh, AaUima, Lua TraokU. tyMiMMtiam,
NtrveuiMM, StoMK Uver, Kldaiy, rimak
Wsakiwai and all CKraaio D'aaaaaa.
mil or writ, enrloln(4 l-eent atamp lor
nwuinioon and circular. Addrraa,
Tna C. Oa We CMmm Mklm C. f
Ma. Ml 11 ..rat H LP. Cm
MoUua Ibla " PmHUmA Bnm.
HOTELS.
HOTEL PORTLAND
PORTLAND, ORE.
Flnett Hetol ln th Nerthw!
DENTISTS.
DR. T. L. BALL,
DENTIST.
624 Commercial Kt Aatoria Oreson.
Dr.VAUGIIAN', .
Dentist
Pytblan Building. Astoria, Oregon.
Dr. W. 0. LOCJAN
DENTIST
578 Commercial Ft , 8banahaa Buildlog
DR. C. W. BARR,
Dentist,
Slanaaell Building
Telephone Ikd 20til Astoria, Oregon
SEASIDE DIRECTORY. J
WINES AND LIQUORS.
THE OEM
An up to datc reaort for Gentlemen.
Choice Winoa, I.iuor and C'igaia. Give
us a rail and we'll do the reat.
0. E. HUNTER. Prop. Seaside. Ore.
LICK.
Saa Frtncleco'i leading COft
fenienct and famil; hotel
centrall located. Coa
Tinient to all car lines, and
placet of amusement and ia
Ureal. Caf and Grill at
Uched. Rates U 00 per day
and up. Street cars direct to
hotel from and to all depota,
HOUSE
Sao Francisco, Cal.
$1 . EXPERIENCE
tfr A Tmoc Maama
''Hi!11 CoovftMHTa Ae.
AnfMianondln aaka)',h and 4niiMtnn bm
nalor.tMla. i
tlniiirtellrrtiiinditl!. HAK0B00K on Pti.ata
anlrklr wariain one
ln?milln n pruimirir 111
in loo fa hMbr
(Mia. I uBimunir.
ctil fix. itlilMt IDHfi j fur .BOyrln mKniI.
inrnuun muan rtceiri
Ink-in
1p'Uu K'ilo4, mi hout ctuirj, ia taa
scientific .ntntricatt.
A htnd.om.lf lllntrt4 w4tklf .
I.rfMt fir.
1rrm, i a
tw: four nHiiiLbcil. (Mdhjaii nwdMlr,
MM & C0",BrM'
Dr.nch uisca, CV t St, WaitaiDaiuo.
MORNING ASTORIA
Is on Sale in
r Astoria at
J. N. GRIFFIN'S BOOKSTORE.
OTZINGER'8 NEWS DEPOT,
OCCIDENT HOTEL OFFICE,
SCULLY'S CICAR
STORE,
JOS. JACOBS, CIGAR STORE.
and
THE ASTORIAN OFFICE,
f Tenth and Commercial Sta,
At
IS IS Ttl
kind of &
Sioi for
wKickiKe
NATIONAL
MAGAZINE
is pajjing
$10,000
1
too nimcotr
I" a rMlrinU br. V Mml
uwrf a rm oM QntkH ipiuur m
iai pinna . Mt m ia. mum t M. (nty.
nt rvi r.MlrH muck a ted auHnuii.
TM ol4 laljr m il Mr U m Ikl, Mtl,.
'.ilon. it imum la ia wlns brr.vs.l
illlml tailla. "mm
.i3 'lL"f "l "" kvurbi, Aval
aliiv
inai n oa mm, .rna," nM Ok M Cum.
II w mtultm I a Ml a.
rm. .Almlv
" ,Im1 a, Ul ail. mt.
Do
know of
abetter one
Wa want littla atpriaa. anacdotH, biu ol
w. vw. tiM, nuiuc you
""-"T fuppmf from
liat h
Think, Lauh or Cry
I40 prim will b slran for tha Ixwt
., Jn P11 ,ilver doltara liiKh
yv Ilia fint trn auuettful eonipetltora tu
thfirta.rdt.
Ihf pnlr condition for atitirinf thlicnm
petlt 00 la that you arod with vmirrllimi,,.
to Ui National Maaaslac Addii. K
JOE CIIAPPLE, Editor M
M DORCBCSTCB AVLNtT.
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