V.
THURSDAY, NOVEMBER
. 95 TTFP. MfYnitfTVl ACTATITAV ACTVYOTA nnrr-mr ' " ,
I NOTICE. ii -
Colonel Bunker's Critics Apology
By M Quad, Coprlght 1903 by R. B. McClure.'
i
T was my ruNtom, sab," an Id Colo-
lid H.inliir as bo carefully re
placed thi glass on the table nud
elevated feet -"It wit my
custom In hII perilous moment diirliifl
t ! wnh to pluce myself at tint hcml of
my rilm'iit ami wave my sword ami
'Mil ujmiu iuy gullant men In follow me
to victory or death. 1 do not go fur
n to clului (hut I originated this cu
loin or practice, hut I believe 1 fol
lowed It nioro clely II11111 any oilier
colonel In the service. When private
I
I
"mi, run knsmi m in rmmr or cat"
soldier s-c hid commanding officer
ready to sncrlilcv hi life there run b
iiohatiKliiK back.
"Yen, iih, 1 would place myself
where shot mid shell ralucd the thick
est, and after allowing tun men time to
toady themselves I would wave my
word and utter a few worda of fervid
elouuctice. Then 1 would wheel and
load thorn, aud It win aeMoiu that vie
tory did not erch ujxm our banners.
Htio bad to perch. There wm no get
ting out or It When you follow a fer
vid hwIi with a dawn aud a yell
aooicthlug baa got to hrrnk. Tbo one
tooted exception waa at tbo second bat
tle of Muaantiaa. My glorloui old regi
ment waa placed Id a certain position
ud ordered to bold It until my udg
tnatit dictated an advance. We bad
fought for three hour when the opmr
tune moment arrived. I'laclng myself
In frout of the tine, I went through the
uiuol wave and then aald:
were rlght-ino' thuii right Accept my
bund, mih, aim! let in bury tbo hatchet'
"Those wei- bin word, anh, while hla
djunciilior W;i In coiiKoimiiee with
them. Aiul nliut eoiild I do but shake
bl blind iiikI order twenty touiida of
augur pent to my buime aa a clincher?
"A not her of my erllle waa Majnli
Hoke, The- imijiili IiihIhIihI tht my
wish to die for my country lk.nl noth
ing to do with It; Hint I hud Im-cu or
dcred to bold n certulu position ami
Hint It wn my duty to do It; Unit It
looked mole like lending a reglmeiit
out to piny n giiiue of IhimcImII than
to fight mid oilier remark that stt
deep, I could not chuileiiKe him, he
helnic my Infirh.r. hut I tweaked hi
noe f ir bltn iiml slated that If he
would cluilli uu'f me I would waive, tlir
difference In nnk.
"The 11111J.1I1 n nil ginger, suh. lie
bud the challenge tend) In leu mluutca,
and nil was arnmg t to meet next
ma wiilng KjkIi wa fully deteriiilued
to kill the oilier, hut we were not ti
meet. That night while he wn going
the round of the pli-ket be wna no
badly kicked by nu army mule that he
wa sent to the boHplial. A few days
Inter be wn gobbled up by the enemy
and held prisoner to the end of the
Willi, I met tillll oil the street or this
town a ytar biter. I wna about to
glare at htm and pax blin by when be
held up hla band for me to bait aud
aald:
Volonel Hunker, I have come to th
coiicliihloti Hint my word of year agt
were uncalliHl for. You were put In
certain place to ecrcli your bent
Judgment, ami whatever you did wn
t;lglit. WInIi to recall those word
snh, nud I w IhIi you to accompany nu;
around the corner and take a nip In
boiioh of the renewal of our friend
ship.'
It WHH a time wliell all men Wep'
burying their nnlinoKltlcK, iiikI the ma
Jah and I imhi buried mux. I then ha
ouly niic more man to deal with. II
had Imm ii lleuteliunt culoiiel In 111 v brl
gfdc, and It had no hnppeiie that we
bad played poker together on mnny oc
cusliina. It bad al hnpiieiied, a It
will NoiiietlmeH, tlmi l bad most al
ways been tbo winner. The colonel
waa a gentleman, nub, a well a a aol
dler, but bU oua rankled a bit
"When my trouble came be remarked
that I waa probably leading my rcgl
ment In aearcb of a four ace band, and
when I called on him and demanded an
apology he refused to mnke one. I
waived the difference In rank and chat
longed Ii I in. He promptly accepted. As
both of u wIhIio.1 to have the affair
An Appreciative Audience.
THE rlrcua do-n't come alone a oftaa
a I'd Ilk.
1 An' fun U omfthln' a a rul that'a
mlahly lurI lo strike.
Out whn lull Jmr tomei rourtln Wflt,
1 lmily 11 nt lo my
The way my ikt t will Icit a rlrcur
any day.
gh hnkr hi tin ml wv up tilth an'
any, "Why. Iiowly OV"
The anme a It aim didn't a-e lilm evrry
day or I wo.
An' lln-n ho trim 10 ana-r txick an' 1 hokc
an' hna lo conah.
An' I'm a-luuahln' fit to kill whli UtT 1
ahowlir 0 IT.
8li Inlk 'If. 11 1 book that'a wroli Ir
Kr-mh, an' h any a, "Vi-, lnili-d:"
A rooktmok la the only kind 1 ever u
h-r rd.
Ilr fm limk fin by amliifht, an' ou
Im-1 I wonMn't care
To toll Mm 'bout Iho frr-kl-a that art
hldilen a'lmowhfr" tli-re.
Shti I'l.ty on the l,iiio. rtntw-i hariitu an'
Ihirii aim alah
An' look like xho w angl forma a-ftoat-
In' from th kli .
Bh yll al m all day. but whn Illll
cull her von o mt mr
An' muliy llko. it' almply arat whtn
alad-r'a ahowln' off.
I wouldn't mind n bit to bo hor coml'n' It
ao alrona.
Provided ahe waa only Job the aame th
wholn day long.
Out when h'B i-ron a tack an' Irloa la
B t ILM BWl-ft M pit
It atrlkoa m a eo hiimoroua that I've ot
to huiKh or die. I
An' when h aontly hold hor hand I'm
terppted lo hit allp
The fact that ah kin hit moil hard
enough to ailnk a hlp.
X know It ain't the proprr thing to aneer
at folk nn' aentT.
Dot, hniimi. Iioy. It funny wh-n mj
aUti-r a ahowln' off!
Waahlngton Btar
LEWIS & C0.S DRUG STORE
4
AT SEASIDE
THE HORNING ASTORIAN
la on Sale at
MORRISON k GREENBAUM'3
CIGA STORE.
MU BJ years
Vy t EXPERIENCE
1
(mm
j Trdc Marks
'r " a.
Kotke ia hereby given that the reg
intration booki of the city of Astoria,
for the primary nominating election to
be held in this city on Monday the 13th
day of November, 1905, will be opened
at the Auditor' office in the city hall,
on Monday the 23rd dar of October.
1905, and will close for aaid primary
election on the 7th day of November.
10O5, t the hour of 4 o'clock p. m., aaid
registration book win be again opened
on Thumday the 16th day of November,
15KJ5, for the general election to be held
in thit city on Wednesday the 13th day
of Decrmtier, 1905. and will eloae on
Saturday, the 9th. day of December,
1903, at 4 o'clock p. m. All prvn
muiit register in order to be entitled to
vote.
Dated, Astoria, Oregon, October, 21t,
1905.
OL0F ANDERSON,
Auditor and Police Judge of the city of
Attoria.
0 SPICES, o
DAIflNOPtffDEn,
0rraft5freih,CtMOffricJ
CL0SSETGD2YO1S
t PORTLAND, ORXQON.
AnyonB amiltnf a at etch and doMJliXtoB aur
tmetir amruin nor nfnnfrii ma tmim as
" 'Men, the enemy la In front of u! over wlUi at the mrlleat iHlble mo-
oo win loiiow me until me taai one; TOnt w, wnt out Wthn ,5e hoQTi
naa aied or aurremlereo r
"i wllir ahouted a hundreil
both of ua were dead ahota It wa pre
dicted Uiat there would be a double
1 tragedy, but there waa a roaring farce
Inatead.
"We entered a meadow well beyond
the llnea aud were about to take poal
tlona when we discovered that we bail
atlrreil up a neat of bumhlebeca. The
Inaecta attacked ua with fury, and both
men,
and the next moment we were daahtug
forward. After we bad daabed about
eighty rod I began to look for the en
emy, but be waa not to be found. We
kept on for half a mile, but no enemy.
We were determined to do or die, iah-
do or dle-and we continued charging '
ahead and thinking of our forefather 1 0f , W8r tUDg repeatedly befo' we
who died at Islington and Hunker Hill ! roUld make our eecape. The humor of
until we bad gone two mile. It then tne thing appealed to each man, and a
trauapirca mat tnere waa no enemy for few Judicious worda from the aeconda
ten Diiica in tnat direction, and arter a brought about a reconciliation.
.u. I ,.lll.Aiul 1 - . . .
"w ,"U""A 1 naa aeiertnineii to piay no mo
"I am aorry to Bay that our gallant poker with the colonel, but at bla ear
uano waa miaconairueii in cennin qoar ; Rmt anj re,,eatel aollcttatlona I did
tare. The brigadier, for Instance, said 1 relieve hhu of email auma at regular
ne couiiiu 1 make out wny we suonia 1 Intervals for the neit year or two.
go cnurging an over tne country aner good soldier and a game man. suh, but
an enemy ttint waa cloae at liana. I re-1 not tip on the polnta of the great Anle
pBt.u tne words or my rcrvlil address CBn game. Tliafa all, eah-that's all
,to mm, nut it waa no go. I tola lilm or 1 And when th cocktail waa brought
our wish to .lie for our country, but be 1 be drank It at a gulp and was eoou
only amllisl. At length, sah. at length nodding In sleep. . M. QUAD.
wuen no iHM-uine aarcastic 1 remarket!
that he vn my superior officer 11 ud
outside of tiny rhnllenge from me, but
If we both II vel to the end of Uin wnh
be would be forced to meet me on the
A StaBdlae; Hale.
Jones hnd Just run over to aw If Mr,
and Mr. IWiink would go to the thea
ter with them. Mr. Blank was awful
field of honnh. For my words I was y aorry -she would so much like to go.
put under arrest for tVo weeks. Jllt unfortunately. Rhtnk wna out; lut
"Colonel Johnson of my own brigade , probably he waa nt the club. She would
wa anoiner wuo ilia nit unueratana tolcphone. The following conversation
tne aituatiou. it was jui at tno time eiiHuetl:
umi aoenn were nie, ami wouiii ,ou -Mnln 31..1 please. Hello! Is till
believe, anh, that ho bad the Impudence (he rlub? Is my hushand there?
to asa me ir i ntm isaen my regiment n,.0: Not there? Sure? Well, nil
on a little trip to gather tbo succulent nr, then. Hut bold on. How do you
...U it a.. .11 a .1 1. 1 aa .
iruiw i umi uuu t-iiniicngcu wiimn nve , know? I haven't even told you my
aeconua, uut in going to tne nem se- name"
lected I fell over a stnno and Injured
my back ao that I waa laid up for a
month. At the end of that time Colonel
Johnson waa drafted Into another regl
inent, and we did not meet again until
all waa over. Then be came up to me
one day with outstretched band and
aald:-
M Colonel Dunker, I have had almost
three years In which to think that thing
over, and I hare come to the conclusion
that blackberries bad nothing to do
with It 1 think you were Inspired al
together by heroism and that If you
bad found the enemy he would have
been slain to the last man. Forget the
worda spoken years sgo, eah-forgot
tbera.'
"I bad to forget them, sab. Too cant
force a man to fight you after be has
apologised. It was only few weeks
later when I met the brigadier. The
wab was over, and ho bad gone to
keeping a grocery. I walked In on him
one day, but before I could make a re
mark be came bustling forward to aay:
M 'Colonel Bunker, I am glad to. fee
you, sah mighty glad. When you
wanted to die for your country at sec
Anl Manassas and made a dash tif
T ttirrws nit I oa. In hnnaM tt flnA siAmA amjb
to kill you I did not exactly appreciate
the sentiment nor the situation, . I bars
given them much thought since, and I
are corns to the conclusion that yov
There ain't noNaly'a husband here
nerer!'' waa tho wine attendant's reply.
-New York World.
Rialalaed.
Housekeep You're a
roan. Why don't you
big,
go to
Mrs.
healthy
work?
weary waiuer-i-aay, ni tell yer
rue trouble. I'm an "unhappy medium."
Mrs. Houaekeep What do you mean
by that?
Weary Walker Well, yer see, I'm
too heavy fur light work an' too light
fur heavy work. Catholic Standard
and Times.
Man's Unreasonableness.
ia often as great as woman's. But Thos.
8. Austin, Mgr. of the "Reublican" of
Leiventworth, Ind., waa not unreason-1
able, when he refused to allow the doe
tors to operate on his wife, for female
trouble, "Instead," he says, "we con
cluded" to try Electric Bitter. My wife
waa then ao sick she could hardly leave
fter bed, and five (3) physiaiana bad
failed to relieve her. After taking Elec
tric Bitters, she waa perfectly cured,
and can now perform all her household
Luties." Guaranteed by Charles Rogers,
druggist, price 60c j
Bilioua Attack Quickly Cured.
A few weeks ago I had a bilious at
tark that was so severe I was not able
to go to the oflice for two day. Fail
ing t get relief from my family phy
i-iatfs treatment, I took three of
Chainlierlain' Stoinarli and Mver Tab
b in, and the next ilay I leit like a now
man. II. C. Bailey, Kditnr of the News
Clianin, S.I C. These Ublets are for
Mile by Frank Hurt and leading drug
iht.
He Dwltrd the Door.
Boston Globe.
Seereta ( the Craft.
Customer (Inspecting the sample the
waiter bas brought bim-How do you
Biattngulsb your clnm chowder from
alaln vegetable soup?
Walter-We hare different labels on
the kettles, air. Wish any coffee?
Ctlcago Tribune.
Constipation.
Health is absolutely impossible, if
comttipation be present. Many .serious
cae4 of liver and kidmy complaint
have oprung from neglected constipation.
Such a deplorable condition is unneces
sary. There is a cure for it. llerbine
will speedily remedy matters. C A.
Mndsuy, 1'. M., Bronoon, Fla. writes,
Feb. 12. 1H02i "Having used Herbine.
find it a fine medicine for constipa
tion. Sold by Frank Hart
ivantwm M enrfiahlf MienuiilaCoai
urtni
I a 1
IPteial otkt, without clr, m tb
NuirUlryiMTitbJ. HANOBOM oa Fatauu
immI wnx-T Ir oourtnc Dauou
Plni tatoa tfamarh Mana k Co. rvotlr
Scientific American.
A kui4mBlr lllnralo4 wooklf. Ijurmtt otr.
rulaiMm i.f any umllDr VmrruJ. Tcnn, tl a
rwi f'Xir month. II. bcMejaJI MliWin.
MUNN&Co.",B'-. New York
Branca 0o. Kt t Bt. WarttMloo. D.U
r i
The 1
Smith Premier
is the simplest and strong
est of all writing machines.
It does better work, docs
it quickerlasts longer,
and costs less in the long
run than anv other type
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Let oj trni you our little book telSn
all about it. Typewriter tupplie. Ma
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Th Smith Premier
Typewriter Company
247 6Urk 6t, Portland Or.
-III PORTLAND
TUX M0R5IHG AST0SIA9
is for tale at the news stands of
THE
OSEGOIf NEWS COMPANY,
situated at
HOTEL PORTLAND.
147 Sixth Street, 125 Sixth Street
Dr. D. A. Sanburn
FRENCH SPECIALIST.
The King of Cures
1
Jr '
e ; -
: h
jl T
You May Want
A famished house, rooms or store,
slake yoar wants known to the
readers of this paper. If you want
a tenant for a bouse, some reader
may be the desired party.
Obtained by Advertising In the
Want Columns of the Morning
Astorian.
DAILY 7,000 READERS
Is now in yoar city, Introducing my
wonderful arts of healing. Come one
and all and I will tell everyone their
disease and yon will be made welL My
medicines are all nature's remedies,
roots, herbs, barks and berries.
After I introduce my medicine I will
leave certain kinds of it ia your drug
stores. My home office and laboratory
is st 1982 Hurst street, University Park,
Portland, Ore.
Office hours to 12 a. m., to 8 p.
at ttbe Megler Ilouse, 080 Commer
cial street, rooms I and 2.
Consultation free at Astoria, Ore.
Dlaerlmlaattoa.
Mr. Iluuskoc p My aerrant girl
doesn't know very much; she's equally
careless wltb the flue china end the
common.
Mr. Illrnm Offen My clrl Bbows
considerable Intelligence.
Mrs. IlatiHkfM'f) Vca?
Mm. Iliriun Offen-Yes; she's most
carelexs with tho fine china. Catholic
Standard and Times.
Best Liniment on Earth.
Henry I. Baldwin, Supt. City Water
Works, StiulLsburg, Wis. writes:
"I have tried many kinds of lini
ment, but I have never received much
benefit until I uxed Ballard's Snow Lini
ment for rheumatism and pains. I think
it the best liniment on earth." 26o, 60c,
and $1.00. Sold by Hart's drug store.
' TTelpraf airi."
What a big girl you're getting to be,
Edith! I suppose you help your mother
about the house a great deal."
"Oh, yea. Whenever mother says ts
me, 'Do get out of my wsy, 1 de It."
Philadelphia Press.
His Oalalaa.
She I don't see why people who are
engaged should not get along without
quarreling.
He Yes. They might wait until the
are married. New York Press.
The price of s pretty face la $1.00
three packages of HolligUr's Rocky
Mountain Tea, Brings red lips, bright
eyea and lovely color, S5 cents, Tea or
Tablets. Sold by Frank Hart, druggist
Ths Astorian, 75 cents a month.
I
JUST A MOMENT!
5 j
We Want .to Talk to You
ABOUT BOOK BINDING
Wc do it in All the Latest and
Best Styles of the Art ... '
se js
Wc take your Old Magazines that you
have piled away on your shelves and make
Handsome Books of them fit to grace any
library.
We take your old worn out books with
the covers torn off, rebind them and return
to you good as any new book.
Let us figure with you on fixing up your
Library.
dt & g
The J. S. Dellinger Co.,
Makers of All Kinds of Books
Astorian Building Cjrto CoaasRcut. kso lOra 1 Street
I
laflsaTafllatilaTaM
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