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About The morning Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1899-1930 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 30, 1905)
V MONDAY, OCTOBER 30, 1903. THE MORNING ASTORIAN. ASTORIA, OREGON. THAT PESKY BAR Br Lloyd Roberti, Copyright, 19 03, by Lloyd Roberts. W HEN Baralt Ann Jolmwy ami Miry Ann, bcr llttl n-ypnr-oM, rvtiirinil from tlx hajrnVM to "Itllo" ritp of t and to brat up mm of la'nim for 1 pa i Andy U Inula, the "help," tlirj were "mljfhty took aback" to flml a . blatk bear, big aa life and twlc n natural, sitting 011 their klt-hn floor aixl iN-nrfully llrklug tin- lnt rem nanU of the antlrlpatM dliitirr from NolT hla clumay pawa. Now, Sarah Add waa nt "akwriNl." ttmiicb It did "fetch ber sort of eiuMrti like" not abe. "Kb Jut up nul thought of all tba mean, low down tblnjra that blamed critter hnt Imimi adolu shout property - klllln' abwp. upKettln her bee bouaea, twin down the graperlnes and land know w-lmt hk rtvnn a oaluk or aoArt watei in TUB ANIMAL'S racs. all bealdim,' while a rreat rail" welld up in her uaually (rntU heart, and II awned a If a vengeance awlft and terrible waa aUiut to deacend upon thin innocent, aleepy bioklng cnature. Uke a llaah ahe aprang to a low bench Juat Itmlde the door, aelxed a waiu bavlu In both hauda and flung a gullon of aoapy water full In tba anl mal'i face. Hplutterlng and growllug, the bear retreated Into a back room, and lira. Johncey baatlly alammed th door upon her unwelcome rlaltor, ef fectually cutting off hla meana of ea cape. Thta accomplUhed, ahe turned to Mary Ann, wbo had been alandlog al out aide watching the performance with atarlng eyea and aerioua face, and apoke to her abarply: "Now, Jeat yei look here, Mary Ann, and mind whul I'm a-aayln' to yer. Hit right down there on that atoop, and don't yer move till I git back and don't yer let bo out coma In, for there'a a awful growed up b'ar In tbot back room thet would Jeat love to eat a-h aa you. I'm a go in' to git yer pa to come and kill II dpad. Now, mind what I tell jort' And, with a parting gltince at tho par lor door, die climbed a anake fence and hurried aero a field of atubble, dlxappeurlng behind a low hill. Mary Anu aat dutifully where, ahe waa put, with her amall mind full ol thoughts of tba "big doKKle," till nIii aw the tall figure of her pa come bounding over the rise, followed a uio njeut later by ma, and then Andy val lautly waving hayfork above hla head. When they had all collected In th kitchen Jabcs auddeuly grabbed hla bend, while a queer exprawlon spread over his honeat countenance. "Harab Ann Johneay, If yer ain't the big bead edeat, all around atupldeat female beln' that ever milked a cowl IK you know (what yer gone and done? Ye've cooped up the b'ar right along In the aatne room aa my gun, and then yer cal'late thet I'm a-gotn' ter ahoot him. If tbet ain't the women folk fer yerl" Sarah Ann looked blank. "If we only tied known In time we could V got lend of Joe Banaen'a gun, but I reckon aa how be look It along when be went pa'trldge klllln' out back eet tlement way," abe answered In aclf defense. Meanwhile Andy bad aneaked around the house and bad cautloualy peaked In the parlor window "to gtt squint at the pesky brute," only to discover that the room waa empty, lie rushed back with wild excitement "Jabo, Jabe!" he abouted. "lie ain't tharl He ain't tharl lie's up and cleared out, I tell yer!" Barab Ann turned with fury on Mary Ann. "What have yer gone and doot with thet there b'ar, Mary Ann Johne ay, tbet I left yer so careful-like ter keep yer eye on when I waa a-fetcbln' yer pat Now, none of yer lyln' ter , but apeak op quick!" And ahe grabbed her by the arm and shook her vigor ously. 1 "I didn't 4o' nuffln'-I dldn't-I dldnl -I dldn'tr Mary Ann walled In plerctor voice, and the Inst wall waa till on the move aa the others entered tts sou for a JoVci .insesjaji. "It do seem u II lit iiih. Jf.n tuenvt. away.' wunjM-ff-'i rniiio Ana in an a went ruck vkce n they peered through the cruek of the mHIiU)' ocued door. "Where eould lie Imve got terY" ' They iMMtii ilUcmwnl hla retreat. At one alile of the riu a trnp dNir led down thiiiicrli Die flmr Into the cold. dnrk rellur Im!hw, mul Mr. Jutiueay hud f uncut to -oe It after her lust de scent. Anw:i), there limn; the gun alxivi the m.mtfjiii, 11 ml ohe vigor otinly tlinul hi't IiiiImihI Into the room. "Laud nlive! Hurry up. pit, iiikI ilrlvt the varmint out of thet or he'll hnvt e't up all the winter butler! Oh, he's gone ti ml done It now!" xhe shrieked as a loud crit!i son:tel from Im-Iow. "1 knew he would!" .label strode bravely forward and wits Jiiit reuehlng dawn the old fash toned muzzle lu:Kler wheu the beat emericed from the trnp nnl ambled awlftly for the imii ijuor. If bruin thought that he was going to em-fii so raolly, with the weight of all hla uln tiwni hU bead, he was vast ly mlHtaken. Harsh Ann lend out and alammed the l'xr In hla face. A man, a ltir huI a gun shut together In space eight feet square! It looked very much a If something ought to happen, ysltes thought so too. "Holy pokers, Huruh! Open that door quick r he shouted. "Moot him, shoot him!" answered Mrs. Johnesy. "He'll git out If I open the door." "tjol darn If. let blm git out!" the farmer shunted back. "I'm tin blamed b'ar hunter, and I ulu't a goln' to be neither!" And then, us this seemed InefftN-tual, a bright lnplratlon flashed through his drain. "!' yer want blood and b'ur's grease messed nil over yen parlor fl'Mir, Huruh. fr there will Ik If yer don't look real smart?" The door Hew open on the Instant, while Mrs. Joliie-xy. having removed iers4 If to 0110 side, plpi-d up in another tune: "Itoii't yer hit hlin-Uou't yer bit him. Jabet! Iet hliu git outer the bourn1 first." Ilut the beur In (he tneatitline bad rhangd his mind and Instead of "git tin' out" sut In the doorway growllug and making face st MMir old Johnesy, whose uu wss drawing invisible hiero glyphics In the air. Now, when the hear had made his ap pearance from bcluw the valiant Andy bud sqiieened in ttetween the hot stove ami the wall and seated himself in a large farther, dish of dotteh which Ha rsh Ann had put there to "raise." The good woman suddenly spied a pitch fork and a perspiring red face alnive the water kettle, and ahe hurled an ap peal to the "help:" "My land, Andy, git and drive the b'ar out of (here before pa messes bis dirty carcass all over my clean floor!" But pa had taken hla loving wife's advice and waa now in the cellar, with the trapdoor clapped to behind him. With some difficulty Mr. Johnesy was extricated from hla retreat by means of a very narrow window that led Into the potato bin, and they all withdrew themselves to distance to encourage the departure of the guest "If yer had shot thet beast In the tieet room In ther bouse, Jabei Johue ay, you and I would ha' parted compa ny next mlnut', I can Jest tell yer!" mbU IIm l.ihnnav Slrmlv Mft ain't ir 1 nauu l mgn Drone my uaca navin and aUirtSe bear showed no aigna an evacuating bis position. He knew a good thing when he emelt it end the house contained many good things in the line of Jams and Jellies which tbe thrifty housewife bad bottled for the winter, to aay nothing of cakes and pits and apples, and It seemed after ward aa If bis dellfat auout had brought to light everything that a beat mlM love In kitchen, pantry or cellar. Thay all stood glowering In alienee tlutt la, with the exception of Mary Ann. Suddenly the old farmer struck op, while a broad grin rolled around hla face, and he chipped bis ha ml 011 bis leK. "I've been a thlukln' and a-thlnkln', and I 'low as aometbln' has to le done, nd thet real smart and I reckon asM can do It. Come along 0' me, A inly." And he turned and strode off In toe dl-re-tloii of the burn. Andy and Harsh Ann both followed, tbe latter tugging Mary Ann by the hnnd. "Now, Jest yer help me eatcb tbe critter," aald Jabes aa he climbed Into the pigsty. And Andy obediently obeyed. "Land, what yer goln' to do with Buttercup, pat" queried hla wife In voice of astonishment "Jest you wait end you'll aee eh! Bhut yer squealln', yer blasted 'ldglt! U J1A r I'BOLT roEUIS, SABAB ! OPUf THAT DOUB QUICK r It all put to rights again only last fort night" she went on, keeping her eye on the back door as ahe spoke. "What can be a-keepln' thet thar b'arT "CM darn yer hide, Andy Glnnta!" growled the Irritated farmer. "An' what waa yer doln' all the time, I'd like to know, while I waa a-flghtln' the dirty brute? Under the bed up In tbe Jqtt, 1 reckon, ytf white llvered pup!" "Thar yer wrong. Jabes Johneay, and ter know It I Jest kinder mislaid m'self; thet's all," Andy retorted. At this point poor little Mary Ann let up dismal bowling. "I want a cookie I want a d'lnk of mllk-I want aomefln' to eatl Boo-00!" tIt was caiCar c'.og nearjjwr. rT ; DASHKI1 KETWEEK RIR OlTRTItKTCBKD Vim. Nothln' ain't goln to hurt yer!" This last to Uio punlc stricken porker which he had grabbed and atowed beneath his arm. It waa only eight months old. When they bad returned to the back yard tbe farmer gave minute direc tions to the hired man. "Now, see here, Andy, you Uke tht pig around to tbe parlor window and drop blm inside, and I'll wait out her with the gun, and when the b'ar cbasct out arter the pig I'll ping the brute. Git a bike on!" It worked perfectly-at leaat tbe first part dld-for after a few minutes of awful silence a terrible commotion filled tbe house. First there waa a re sounding crash, aa If tbe whole side board had gone over, followed by ear piercing aqueala and noise of falling dishes. Jshcx bad Just time to yell: "Git out er the way, ma! Holy Jerusalem, hen they come!" when the whole clrcui came streaming out of the bouse. Alas for the second part of tbe ar rangements! Tbe terrified fugitive saw the farmer and, after the bablt of pigs, sought safety by dashing between his outstretched legs. Jabei strove to leap aaide, but It waa too late. Hla feet were knocked from under him, the gun went off Into the clouds, and pursued and pursuer disappeared In the dis tance. When the laat lingering squeals bad died away Mrs. Johnesy turned to her bewildered husband with all tbe con tempt, not unmixed with triumph, aha could throw into her voice: "Who's the pig headedest, long leg gedest, stupidest born fool now?' abe vociferated. Mr. Johnesy began thoughtfully to brash the dust off hla trousera leg. "Now, see here, Sarah Ann, didn't I Mow as I would git tbet thar pesky b'ar outer thar? And didn't IT Bath I a Sesassj la Klraraaaa. The Nlcaraguana do things In quite primitive style. They do not put up at cramped and questionably clean lodg ing houaes, but camp In gypsy fashion, high and low alike, for miles along the shore and pass the time In morning batbs, round games, gallops by day and moonlight dances by night on the yel low sands, with partners of every va riety of color down to the laogbtng yel low girls of the native class and the simple Indian peasant damsels of tbe fields. It Is a sight not soon to be for gotten to witness the general rush to ward the aea of carta, owners and servants. ' The government usually die patches an officer and a guard to super intend the pitching of the annual camp upon the beach, or, rather, upon the forest covered sand ridge which frtngea the abort. Each family rigs up Its own cane hot lightly thatched with , palm trees and floored with petates, or mats, the whole wickered together with vines or woven together basketwlse and par titioned In the same way by means of colored curtains of cotton cloth. The more luxurious ladles send down their neatly curtained beds and make some times t certain j&ow of elegance. A B1LB THIMK THIMK J? TtC t!0Sl Pcpcfcr i WICClg-HCOWD Diced Power GUARANTEED PURELY VEGETABLE This is the season that tests the quality of your blood, and if it is sot good, then evidences of it will begin to show as the weather grows warmer. Carbuncles and boils, pimples and blotches, and numerous itching and burning skin eruptions will make their appearance, and are sure in dications of bad blood. If spring-time finds yon with im pure, sickly blood, then you are xn poor condition to with stand the strain upon the system which always comes at this time of the year. A failure to look after your physical wel fare now. bv purifying the blood and toning up the gen-, eral system, may result in a complete breaking down of ( m ' - f ie 1 1 healtn down mm 1 CcvOTT'O SPECK lotpr on ann van win nna vourseir weair ana mn j-,.;-;.-;-.. s a . -fcw ' iT k-j ' m as. v tts- -' - , with no appetite, and a prey to indigestion and nerv & it is Door Diooa mac mages weaic rjoaies, iotii u ' eak?fr i vousness. is this vital fluid that must supply vigor and strength to our systems, and uvoa its purity rests our chances for health. Any imparity, humor or poison in the blood acts inju riously upon the system and affects the general health. It is to the morbid, unhealthy matter in the blood that chronic sores and ulcers are due. The pustular and scaly skin eruptions so common during spring and summer, show the blood to be in a riotous, feverish condition, as a result of too much acid or the presence of some irritating humor or acrid poison in the blood. A large per cent of human ailments have their origin in a polluted, diseased blood, and can only beVeached by a remedy that goes into the circulation and uproots and expels the poison and restores the blood to a healthy, natural condition. If Springfield. Ohio. May 18, 1903. J Uhf0131 Wheeling, W. Vs., May 23, 1008. On two oooaslona I hve "sed your ot. Da.a WOOO, and are I have used your 8. 8. 8. this spring. 8. 8. 8. in tha spring with fine results. I thinking 01 a blood pun- and found U to be blood purifier of the can heartily recommend it aa a tonlo and r tt. i,:t, ne 000 beat order. My system was ua down blood purifier. I waa troubled with ncr,incnininKOi O.O.O., and my Jolnta ached and pained me oon- beadachea, indigestion and liver trouble, a remedy With a long- aiderably, and I began to fear that I was whloh all disappeared under the nae of a, -ct-t-licl, rrmf it'tnn going to be laid np with Rheumatism. I few bottles of yonr great blood remedy. esiaDllsnea reputation had nged a s a btfon, and know what 8. 8. 8. My appetite, which waa poor, and that has proven It- It was; ao I purchased a bottle of It, sad waa greatly helped. I can eat anything if t a :n have taken several bottles, with the result I want now without fear of Indigestion, 5eiI 10 spccinc 1U ais- the paJn, , and my blood has been thoroughly eases 01 the DlOOd, and a my blood has been cleansed and rsno- cleansed of impurities and made rioh and c,1Tvir:ftr tnrnV flt1J vated, my general health bnOtnp, so thU atrong again. Aa a tonlo and bleod.pur- superior wmc ana sys- x can cheerfully testify to Its vbrtttM M s lller It Is all you claim for It. tem builder. S. S. S. COn- blood pnrlller and tonlo. ffllZ.'1E0M,tL . tai,.ns 00 .cury, pot- la) JOHanns. ash, arsenic or other mineral, but is composed exclusively of vegetable ingredients, selected for their medicinal properties and gathered from nature's store-houses the fields and forests. The thou sands who have used S. S. S. and know from experience what it will do in blood troubles, do not need to be reminded of a blood purifier now, for thev know no better can be found than S. S. S. If you are thinking of a blood purifier, think of S. S. which has been soldor nearly fifty years, while the demand is greater now than ever in its Ustory. No remedy without merit could exist so long and retain the confidence of the people. Write us if in need of medical advice, which is given without charge. THE SWIFT SPECIFIC CO.Y.PAttY, ATUUfTA, OAs JUST A MOMENT! S jS We Want to Talk to You ABOUT BOOK BINDING We do it in All the Latest and Best Styles of the Art. . . . We take your Old Magazines that you have piled away on your shelves and make Handsome Books of them it to grace any library. We take your old worn out books with the covers torn off, rcbind them and return to you good as any new book. Let us figure with you on fixing up your Library The J. ... S. Dellinger Go;, , Makers of All Kinds of Books 1 Astorian Building CDam wDm3RcrA.t, and lOra Strbst i . 1 3 1 1