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About The morning Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1899-1930 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 14, 1905)
SATURDAY, OCTOBIB, 14, 1903. THEilOnNINO ASTOUIAN, ASTORIA. OREGON. 3 , Bowser Tries Copyriiht 1905, V Til B.I Mr. Bowser came uom 1 A I 0ll"'r eT'uln' h brought (fl purot'l under hi arm, and I f to Mra. Uowser's queries b ausweml: ,"Nrir you mini! Just now what It la. After dlnurr I will tell you all about If t Tliort waa certain air about Llm that mod Mra. Howkt reallz tbat otui'tliliif wna up, but It waa no ua to worry over It, aa Hut waa do tell . lug what nw liloa be hud got luto bU . bead. ,8b ftxitressed no curiosity, ' rstber to bla dlsspiwlutmciit, aiul wben too ini'sl bad Ixwn finished be aald:. . ."Well, Drat and forcuioat, I bar Jol'm-d h E. R. B. C." "And wbat on rtb la tbatr MTbeEllte Roller Hkatlns; club." "Will, I tboiufbt It ,waa about Mm jou- did aotue other f ooUsb thing. You don't mean to ttU me tbat you art going to try roller katnt' "And wby not? I know It waa a fad ooce and played out, but the doctors "pok't blahs mi ir i lies ma mojrr My that there la nulhlng better for !byalcal eiprcloe. A few mm like my elf have banded togHher, formed a amall and exclusive rlub, hired a amall ball and are going to akate for exer els. I waa "leaking to a doctor the other day about that polo at the baae of my neck, and be aald my, aplne wanted more eerclae.H "And your aplne' will get Itl Mr. Ilowaer, let tit ssy something to you without burtlng your filings." , ,"Vou are golug to aay 1 am too fat." km m h.lIIM tmrtt .nii -M V A.. AW Ulllltri UI IRll) VU HIV. IUH re too fat and too rluuiay for' any kind of skating. In addition, nothing whatever all the I nine of your nct. If you waiit'eierrliM wby don't you run the lawn mower?" "You know who you are talking to, lo your demanded Mr. Ilowaer wben he bud fluUhed. "Of course, and I hoie you won't be mad. You are not to blame for being fat and r I unity, but you should remem-lr"- "Yea, I will remember! Woman, bow dare you tnlk to me In tbla manner? Your Impmlence aurpaea all bound. It the seven yowling rata, but If a man bad an Id wbat you bare I would bare torn Mm limb from HinbP "How foollah to get luto a temper ver my words." "You Insult and abuxe me and then wonder that I set mad! Mra. Ilowaer. 1 rnnful-lte very careful. You are driving very done to the dead line ery cloaer "Then you will go to the rlubr abe ssked after awhile. "I will go to the rlub. I would go If the hoiiHo waa on Are!" "And you will try roller kater "I will put on roller akatea and float Around the hull, and If I get word while I am floating that you have dmpiMsl (IphiI of heart discos I aball continue to flont." "Very well. I hope you will have a good time. I hope that wben you re turn borne the buae of your neck will I much better. When you get borne you will tell me all about It." "Don't attempt to eoften up things Mra. Ilowser," be growled. "You re ferred to me aa too fat and too logy. You aim) spokimllguilngl of the bane of my neck. You may come crawling on your kneea and I won't forgive you. By John, but bow any wife darea to talk to her buabaud aa you do to me la more than I can underitand! Too fat! Too logjr.-. - It waa a pair of akatea be had irougbt home, and' wTieu "h Vtad the pucka ge under bla arm and waa ready to go atie aiked: " , "What tlin will yo be boms, detrr , "I may never, "be home. Wby ahould too fat, and too logy man return to tthle housiTJ,, . ' ."I shall proUbljr . atttlng up for ,you, Toq tni want a bit ef luncheon . before you ge to ,bd " ' f i ' 1 . , t -If' 1 do I'll atop at soro aalooaw t Don't blame me, Mra. Bowaer, If one g laaa leada to twetbn--flve tea. Jjbn'i bmtwiU T come lome, and kick the front door open and clean out tbla shanty. I may not atop even at that, and If I don't It will bare been rnnr fault' Wbat In the name of blue Llaxea U .that old cat glaring at me for?" - j4. "I think your voice Joro on ber.H "Oh, It doee, eht Beside being too ' fat and too logy I've got a volco that Jara on yaller eyed old cat! By zau&aor. Mr. Bowsr hy thundeiT - Roller Skates by 8. D. McClur. WJth tfce intt "lir tnojKrPTrrwt' the bouito, not daring to remain and face further engi-nfir. fie uad bix bliMka to walk to the bull and he bad almost worked up a am He when he reached It. He waa warmly received by the dozen member who had gatb ertxl and In a little while he hod al moat forgotten Mra. Bowaer and the cat. He noticed half hundred people who were not mctutiera and It waa es plained to him that tbla waa a public night, when any one could come in and aco the akatlng. "I aee we have got to look out for our laurela now," otmerved one of tbe club member aa he ran bla eyea over Mr.' Bowaer. "You were built for roller akater. You have tbe leg, back and ahouldeni for cutting fancy daaltes. I . predict that you will lead ua all within a month. How long atnee you did any akatlugf "Mr. Bowaer ahould have told tbe truth and narrated bla adventure on rollers In bla own garret a year ago, but the man'a worda bad flattered him and he let It bo underatood that be waa In practice and Intended to aaton llt the natlvea. By the time be bad bla akatea on the ball waa well filled and there were a doxen akatere on tbe floor. He bad gone ahead thus far with the greatest confidence, but all of a sudden an Icicle bit htm In the atom aeh. Down In bla heart be knew that he waa fat and logy. He alo knew that the flrat and only time be bad taken the floor waa when be took It on his bead. He would be an ana to get out there, with all the people Jok Ing on, and the exhibition would prob nbly result In bla being expellid from the club. He bud just declild In bis own mind that he would give I.'.iniO In cash If ho waa borne, and tbat If be ever got there alive he would forgive Mrs. Bowser and the cat, wben some of the sectators began to call: "Bowaer! Bowser! Get out, Bow ser, and give ua aome fancy flgurea!" Mr. Bowaer tried to shrink bla bulk Into the compass of a peanut and bla face flushed red and wblte. II decid ed that be would give $10100 to b borne, and tbat Mra. Bowaer waa the beat wife and bla cat tbe beat cat on the face of tbla earth. v"Come, Bowaer," aald one of the skaters. In answer to the call. "Tbla modesty on your part won't do. Yoa are asked to go out and snow wbst can be done on rollers." "I-I don't feel well." wss lb reply. "Nonsense! You ar playing off." "I thluk-thlnk"- "Out with him!" shouted bslf a dosen voices, and Mr. Bowaer waa taken by the arm and assisted to bis feet In the next few second be lived a buii dred years. Then be mad a move with bis right foot, and the next thing be knew be didn't know anything. Both feet went out from under him, tbe floor seemed to rise up, be heard wild yells, and the wbol of bis body struck something at one. Wben b recovered consciousness they wer loading him Into an ambulanc. II kicked at the doctor, swore at the driver and called bla clob friends ras cals and assassins. Only on man bad anything to ssy In reply. That was the doctor. II laid a fatherly band on Mr. Bowser and said: "iio borne, ok! man, go bom. What you want for the next ten years Is a wet nurse!" Mr. Bowser went horn. II found Mrs. Bowser up and waiting. 8b bad arnica, witch hazel and camphor at hand, with a liberal supply of band ages, and she bad the Ingredients for a milk punch. Not a word was said flie simply pointed to the louugo, and with a gronu bo fell upon It and was soothed and nursed until he fell asleep, with a big tear quivering on bis cheek. M. QUAD. A last Like Iks Averse Pr. 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