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About The morning Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1899-1930 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 10, 1905)
TUESDAY, OCTOBM 10, 1903. fTIIE 3IORNING ASTOltlAN, ASTORIA. OREGON, 3 r Saving J By Mary Donaldson, Copyright, In every village la th lam there Is ne'er-do-well who la (lttl and con demned la tb earn breath, la ttia village of Glenvlllo Jim ivter was the snan. II wi constitutionally Inay, waa toper from head (0 beel, ami lila wlf aud two ctilltlrru often wanted fur rlotbce and fund. Mr. IV Icr had leen struggled with on na mcrous occasions. Women had given him tongue lashings, and men had bint ! at tar and feathers, lie bad beeu Induced to sliru the tempers pledge on twrnty different occssloni, only to break It each tlmo anybody offered hliu a drink, and ha had tern provided with work many limes over, ouly to abow Ma general laalnraa. ()no day when tb Woman's Mission society waa holding Ita monthly mart lug Aunt Iliooa Dsvls brought up Jim Trim' cat anaw and declared that something ahuuld b dona. 8b waa given llceaas to go ahead, and aha pro ceeded to go over tb old baa tan track, fl'liu signed tbe pledge, agreed to atop thawing plug, tobacco and go to work, and b even eipreaaed an anilety to "get religion" and become In tlrue a deacon of th church. Ilia good reaolo tlona carried blm along for two weeka, and then ba fell down, and be fell bard; not only that, but ba boasted around that Aunt llanna waa an eaiy person to deal with. The good woman 11 red about a mile out of the village, baring a farm of her own and eujoylag the Ufa of a spinster, and one morning the gut up, to I told by the hired man that some- Ix1y bad robbed the smokehouse over night. Jim Peters waa the only per u for ten miles around who could be euKprrtrd, and wben the hired man tolj bit newe he added that Jim ought to I srrested and hla bouse ecarcbed fur the plunder. "We must not accuse any one with out evidence." replied Aunt Hannah. "It may hn been Jim Peter or It may have been a dog. I'm rather of the oplnlun that It waa a dog, and I would auggeet that you get out the old tear trap and aet It In front of the amokebouaa tonight If a dog a tea la meat once ba will twice, won't bet '"That' a what I bava beard," obaerved tba blred man aa be etarted for the tarn to bunt for tba old trap. Aunt Hannah bad etarted In to re form Jim I'etera m earnest mood, and alia braggM that aba would aeeotn ptlab what otbera bad failed to do. When the man beckalid aha waa re buked and rritlrleed on all sides, and. although aha seemed to take It In good part, aha felt something of a spirit of revenge. Tba bear trap waa oiled and aet, but rt waa a week before arty gam ap peared. It waa tba hired man again who brought bar news. Aa be came Into the kitchen with tba tullk palla ba obaerved laconically: "Well, Mrs. Da via, we have caught the dog." "I see," aha replied after a look from tba wlaAew. "It's a dog that looks eisctly Ilka Jim retera." "TeaT I'M go out after break fiat and bava a closer look. I wish you would cot ma three or four switches from a peach tree before you go to work. If you bear the dog howling, you needn't atop boelng corn on that account" The woman lingered over her break faat aa long aa abe could, and when aba Anally donned her aunbounet and wandered out to tba smokehouse aba bad aeveral awltcbea, a pall of water and a dipper In her banda. "Good morning, Mr. Pet erf," ahe aa luted whan aba had coma to a halt." "I waa looking for my Jackknlfe bera laat night, and I walked Into thla old trap," ba aald by way of expla nation. "Yea, I ee. la Mra. I'etera well!" "About the aame aa naual." And the chlldrenr "Hang It, why don't you call Joe up and tell blm to get me out of thla! Thja infernal trap baa about cut my Jog off. If 'twaa anybody but you I'd bava the law on 'em. Who knowa bow long I'll ba laid up with thla legf "Mr. Petera," aald Aunt fianaah In very aober tones, "do you remember jour proiulaea to met" How am I going to keep promise when all the town la agtn' mat Too are agin' me, too, or yon wouldn't bava aet thla trap for me," You bava been coaxed, bribed, pleaded with and fairly bought, but you atlll loaf around and get drunk. It la tlma that aomo other plan waa wsorted to. Drink thkv" She banded bin a dipper of warter, and ba drank abotrt half of It iH waa about to pour the rest 00 Ue ' ground wben aba aak): 1 know It baa a Strang taste to yon, but you'll bava to get wed to A Don't vast a drop. Hera-hav on mora." Tva bad a-plenty." Aunt Hannah picked up ona of the awlicbee and proceeded to lay It over JIm'i shoulder In a vlgorow manner. Aa it waa aummer and ha bad only a "iggI cotton (birr ttroeatlr back b aa apeadlly retnlftded or bis aoyoooa daye. lie reaenea ror in oww hu downed a Quart or water, ana een -I aay, I want thla trap taken oft Da you think Tra a man of wood ot Iron! Whan I tell folka Oat Aunt jni Peters 1903, by B. B. McClurt. Hannah Davla la plisen mean 'null to et bear trapa for IninM-ent peraona you'll be hauled up In law." "I've heard on gixnl authority, Mr. I'etera, that you ll k your wife." "If I do ahe uewla It" . "Well, we'll ae how a licking goea In your cane. We'll try one anjbow aa an esjierlmeut" "I'll holler and ralwe the bull coun ty!" "Then the whole county will be here to aee." Aunt Hanuah picked out the longeat awltcu, danijH-iied her baud to keep her hold good, aud then began the "eiperlment." Only the third blow bad fallen when I'etera began to yell, but no pauae waa made until be bad received the thraablng of hla Ufa. The woman bad the will and the inuacle, and the aprout from the each tree waa aupple and laxtlng. When about thirty blowa bad leen admlolatered Aunt Hannah pauaed. "You aoa bow It worka," ahe aald, "and you don't aeem to like It Will you ever whip your wlfa again r "1 won't protnlae till you let ma out o thla trap." "Oh. you won'tl Then we'll bava a little more of It" Mis or eight more atlnglng cuta were enough for Jim. He proiuUed on hla word of honor never to ralae hla band agalnat bla wife again. He waa then banded a third dipper of water, an I when be refuaed It the awltcb rami down over bla back, aud the woman aald: "You've got to learn to like the taate ' of water, and you're got to learn here and now. Your children bad to go barefoot all laat winter becauae you bad to hare your wblaky. l'rlnk it down or you'll get another duatlng." Jim managed to drink the water, and waa then aaked for hla prowlae not to touch Intoilcatlng drinka fur one year. "Hut what am I goln' to do when a feller offer to treat 7" ba proteated. "You are going to remember thla," ahe replied aa aha gave blm half a dotcn cuta and brought a freah chorua of bowla. He prorolaed. Aunt Hannah went Into the boiiM and wrote out a pledge. it waa a pledge embodying four or Ove promlaea, and after ba bad taken an other drink from the dipper Jim put bla name to It The blred man, waa then called up to algn aa a wltneae aud to pry open the Jawa of the trap, and Jltn went Mmplng away. That day marked an epoch in Jim retera' life. Within a week he bad work. Ha turned to water Ilka a duck Ha admlulatered no mora thraahlnga to hla wife. In fact before a year waa up ba waa apoken of aa a aober, ateady man, and bad credit at tba atoree for the flrat tlma In hla Ufa. Plenty of people aaked Aunt Hannah how aha did It, and her ana war waa attka to all: "Why. I flrat got my bear trap and then tried an experiment" TrlaaT Bak a Cmmi Mrl- It la a curioua bit of literary exerctae to take a common aaylng and trace It back to rta origin. Take the common aaylng. for Inatance, "All that glitter la not gold." It la found In current literature everywhere and In a doaen different forma. Dryden render It "All, aa they aay, that glitter la not gold." Epenaer aaya, "Gold all la not that doth golden aeem." Lydgate baa the aam Idea In the worda, "All la not gold that outward aheweth bright" Chaucer expreeaea It In aomewbat dif ferent pbraaeology. Mlddleton baa It "All la not gold tbat gttatencth," and Shakeapeara aaya, "All that gllatena la not gold." Go a little farther back, however, and the aama expreaalon la found la the monklan collection of proverb, and there la no doubt If a claaalcal acbolar were to aet to work with the determination to hunt the proverb down, no matter how long It took, be would find It In Latin, Greek and moat other anclont and dead lan guage. It la a natural outgrowth of aarcaam aa applied to flcUtioua ahow and ia no doubt aa old aa the aclence of metal working. Earapal"a Maria Bfaaatera. On the northern count of Norway the finhermcn get a yearly harveat from the whale whirl) atray Into the bar bora. At certain localities, where the baya are almost landlocked, lofty atanda are erected, almilar to the otter outlook on the north Pacific, and wben a acbool la alghted acorea ol boats put out and, by tba aluiplt procoea of driving, hundred of the oil producing retaeeana are entrapped. Tbe Faroe Wanda are famoua for thb method of whaling. One of the largest catcbee ever made waa hi Hvarfiord. Iceland, where eleven hundred were driven ' aahore. The biackBith, or wlMtlea, come down the Atlantic coaatx from the north, encounter shallow water, then follow It along and are naturally led into the cul-de-aac await ing them. Here the boata easily aur roand and drive the whale in. Diaat Cafck Tfeeaa. Th following etory of Oliver Wen dell Holme waa told aoma yeara aga by a physician who waa a student la the Harvard Medical school wben Dr. Holme waa an Instructor ia anatomy there. , One day tba aukject before the claaa waa tba cranium, and a human akull waa paaaed from band to band, th in troctqr. aaklog tt members of tba clals' to" describe" tbprdm!nence, cav ities and aperture. Student after atu dent gave th names and locatlona of th orifice, until finally th Inquiry narrowed down to on opening which baffled every on. Dr. Holmea waited patient! fot aoma ona to distinguish himself, but no explanation waa advanced. When all bad given It up, the doctor rather dryly remarked: "That la Holmea' bola, I mad It myaelf." BEGGARS' OU I UTTER. Oaates AllaaeaU lo Ortr mm Maa. afaetaraa C'rlpalr. In a email but neat and comfortable tti brick house at Hackney Uvea an elderly, careworn man who la known to hla uelghlora by tbe myateiioua title of Uie beggare' tailor." Tb "beggars' oi'tflttcr" would be a more appropriate ecbrlcjuet, for the elderly man'a trade bos nothing to do with tbe making of clothes. II equips and fits out profes sional tneudlcanta for the practice of thou trade. "A mendicant who haa not mastered th trlc-ka of tbe trade," began the beggars' tailor, "baa no more chance of making money than baa a pugilist who haa not learned to box. II must get aa outfit For a woman a email child la th moat essential detail But six beggar women out of eight have no children of their own of tb right age. I aupply them. "Dot that's only a small part of my business. I'll guarantee to make the healthiest looking man In England re semble an anaemic cripple In ten min ute. Only a man wbo can work that transformation baa a light to call him self a beggar' tailor. "Tb public like horrors. Do you see tboaer Tbe beggars' tailor took from bla breast ocket a large pill box and removed the lid. Inside were about a score of wafers of different size, shiny with some sdheslve on one aide, and red, protulierant and nasty looking on the other. "Those," he continued, "are beggars' sores. It doesn't sound pice, but you don't want nlcenese In this business. My clients purchase them from me, stick them In the exact spot on their necks or faces aud find them a good Investment. When the wafer Is stuck on, the skin around It must be careful ly treated with red and white coloring matter. "Sturdy beggars up from tbe country always poae on the verge of starvation. If It weren't for me their fat faces would belle them. Hut as every stage dresaer knowa, a few artificial lines and a Judicious use of shadowa will make a face like FalstafTs emaciated and lean. Beggar seldom wash, and that's lucky for tberaaelvea. Otherwise they'd be put to fresh expense every day. "Are there other tricks of the trader I ahould think so. If you ever see a one legged beargar wearing a long coat ten to oo he'e a 'crock.' With a little practice a eouud limbed man can bend up bla leg till It'a almost parallel with bla thigh Iwne. He cornea to ma for an artificial leg, which he fixes to his kneecap. Tbe long coat enables him to carry off tb fraud. A medal 00 hla chest, a whin about Tel-al-Keblr or Colenao, and th trick's don. For money making no poa can beat tbe soldier broke In our war.' "Half (be bfind and ona legged beff- gar can eee aa well as you or I. I can fit a blind man with everything from a dog and eye abade to Braille book In raised up character. Dogs, of course, coat money, aa they bava to ba apodal- ly trained. Aa a ru! the awlndllng 'blind man' hasn't got a dog. It'a not necessary and a great expense, where as a real blind man. If he hasn't got a child, must bav ona. 'Many sham cripple and blind' men are ex-crimlnals. A man who'a been lagged' and don a long term of penal and doeant like It fights shy of committing a second crime. But he saya be cant get work aa long as he's on ticket As a rule, be makea a very aucceeaful beggar, for nothing sharp en a man'a wits like jail." London Letter In Los Angeles Times. Cervaalaa aa4 Rla Belle. A biographer of Cervantes, tbe au thor of "Don Quixote," aaya: "With high tdeala In bla mind and but few pieces In bla wallet be married, on Dec. 12, Vm, with Donna Catallna do Palacloa t.nlacnr y Tozmedlana Th) tenth of hla fortune, which Cervantes settled upon bis wife, amounted to 100 ducats, while an Inventory of the bride's effects Include several planta tion of young vines In the district of Esqulvlaa, a small town of New Cas tile; alx buahela of meal and one of wheat, aoma article of household fur nlture, two linen and three cotton aheeta, a evasion anal two pillows stuff ed with weal; on good blanket and an worn, tables, chairs, pots and pans, a braaler, a grater, several Jars, sacred Imagea ka alabaster aad allver gilt a crucifix, two lltfle Images of the baby Jasus, four be hire, forty-flv bens." Feaaiaa ttt Caaary, Remember never to give canaries too muth besting food. Their regular diet ahould b canary seed mixed with one fourth the quantity of summer raps eeed; thla wftb a supply of chick weed, groundsetl or water crass Is sufficient except in tb breeding season, when a mora stimulating food Is needed, such as hemp seed and a Uttle shopped egg. In training a young canary to sing the best method hi to place bla cage near that of a good songster. If this cannot b dona, proem a flageolet which will imitate bird note and play a almple air on It over and over again. The bird will learn th tun In from two to sit months. As soon ss a baby canary can feed Itself It ahould ba removed to a separate cage or It will learn Ita pa rent's note Instead of th song It la learning rton res upmS, Raw Car for Caacer. All surface cancers are now known to be curable, by Buckles Arnica 6a.lv. Jaa. Walters, of Dufileld, Va write; "I had a canorr on my lip for yeara, tiiat seemed incurable, till Bucklen'a Arnica Halve healed it, and now it Is perfectly well. " Guaranteed cure for cuta and burna. 25c at Cbas. Roger drug store. 3 U3 IN CSS COLLCOE PORTLAND. OREGON. If you are thinking of attending bus iness eolleg you can not afford to ig nore th best in th northwest. Our equipment ia unsurpassed west of Chi cago. On account of our rapidly Increaa ing attendance WE WILL MOVE October First to our elegant new quar ters in th Elks Building now being completed at Seventh and Stark stmts. Our graduates are all employed. Placed 207 pupils in lucra tive positions during the past year. Bend for our handsomely illustrated catalogue. Free. Address all communi cations to our present quarters in the Stearns Building, Portland. Sleep Like a. Top Don't lie awake with the remedy at your elbow. To banish wakeful- ( ness. nervous starts, bad dreams : to sleep soundly and waken re freshed take Beechams Pills SoldBrerrwhera. In boxes Ma and Sc. Cures all Kidney and Bladder DiseasesGuaranteed Charles Rogers. Druist. 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