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About The morning Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1899-1930 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 10, 1905)
TUESDAY, OCTOBM 10, 1903.
fTIIE 3IORNING ASTOltlAN, ASTORIA. OREGON,
By Mary Donaldson, Copyright,
In every village la th lam there Is
ne'er-do-well who la (lttl and con
demned la tb earn breath, la ttia
village of Glenvlllo Jim ivter was
the snan. II wi constitutionally
Inay, waa toper from head (0 beel,
ami lila wlf aud two ctilltlrru often
wanted fur rlotbce and fund. Mr. IV
Icr had leen struggled with on na
mcrous occasions. Women had given
him tongue lashings, and men had bint
! at tar and feathers, lie bad beeu
Induced to sliru the tempers pledge
on twrnty different occssloni, only to
break It each tlmo anybody offered hliu
a drink, and ha had tern provided with
work many limes over, ouly to abow
Ma general laalnraa.
()no day when tb Woman's Mission
society waa holding Ita monthly mart
lug Aunt Iliooa Dsvls brought up Jim
Trim' cat anaw and declared that
something ahuuld b dona. 8b waa
given llceaas to go ahead, and aha pro
ceeded to go over tb old baa tan track,
fl'liu signed tbe pledge, agreed to atop
thawing plug, tobacco and go to work,
and b even eipreaaed an anilety to
"get religion" and become In tlrue a
deacon of th church. Ilia good reaolo
tlona carried blm along for two weeka,
and then ba fell down, and be fell bard;
not only that, but ba boasted around
that Aunt llanna waa an eaiy person
to deal with.
The good woman 11 red about a mile
out of the village, baring a farm of
her own and eujoylag the Ufa of a
spinster, and one morning the gut up,
to I told by the hired man that some-
Ix1y bad robbed the smokehouse over
night. Jim Peters waa the only per
u for ten miles around who could be
euKprrtrd, and wben the hired man
tolj bit newe he added that Jim ought
to I srrested and hla bouse ecarcbed
fur the plunder.
"We must not accuse any one with
out evidence." replied Aunt Hannah.
"It may hn been Jim Peter or It
may have been a dog. I'm rather of
the oplnlun that It waa a dog, and I
would auggeet that you get out the old
tear trap and aet It In front of the
amokebouaa tonight If a dog a tea la
meat once ba will twice, won't bet
'"That' a what I bava beard," obaerved
tba blred man aa be etarted for the
tarn to bunt for tba old trap.
Aunt Hannah bad etarted In to re
form Jim I'etera m earnest mood, and
alia braggM that aba would aeeotn
ptlab what otbera bad failed to do.
When the man beckalid aha waa re
buked and rritlrleed on all sides, and.
although aha seemed to take It In good
part, aha felt something of a spirit of
Tba bear trap waa oiled and aet, but
rt waa a week before arty gam ap
peared. It waa tba hired man again
who brought bar news. Aa be came
Into the kitchen with tba tullk palla
ba obaerved laconically:
"Well, Mrs. Da via, we have caught
"I see," aha replied after a look from
"It's a dog that looks eisctly Ilka
"TeaT I'M go out after break fiat
and bava a closer look. I wish you
would cot ma three or four switches
from a peach tree before you go to
work. If you bear the dog howling,
you needn't atop boelng corn on that
The woman lingered over her break
faat aa long aa abe could, and when
aba Anally donned her aunbounet and
wandered out to tba smokehouse aba
bad aeveral awltcbea, a pall of water
and a dipper In her banda.
"Good morning, Mr. Pet erf," ahe aa
luted whan aba had coma to a halt."
"I waa looking for my Jackknlfe
bera laat night, and I walked Into thla
old trap," ba aald by way of expla
nation. "Yea, I ee. la Mra. I'etera well!"
"About the aame aa naual."
And the chlldrenr
"Hang It, why don't you call Joe up
and tell blm to get me out of thla!
Thja infernal trap baa about cut my
Jog off. If 'twaa anybody but you I'd
bava the law on 'em. Who knowa bow
long I'll ba laid up with thla legf
"Mr. Petera," aald Aunt fianaah In
very aober tones, "do you remember
jour proiulaea to met"
How am I going to keep promise
when all the town la agtn' mat Too
are agin' me, too, or yon wouldn't bava
aet thla trap for me,"
You bava been coaxed, bribed,
pleaded with and fairly bought, but
you atlll loaf around and get drunk.
It la tlma that aomo other plan waa
wsorted to. Drink thkv"
She banded bin a dipper of warter,
and ba drank abotrt half of It iH
waa about to pour the rest 00 Ue
' ground wben aba aak):
1 know It baa a Strang taste to yon,
but you'll bava to get wed to A Don't
vast a drop. Hera-hav on mora."
Tva bad a-plenty."
Aunt Hannah picked up ona of the
awlicbee and proceeded to lay It over
JIm'i shoulder In a vlgorow manner.
Aa it waa aummer and ha bad only a
"iggI cotton (birr ttroeatlr back b
aa apeadlly retnlftded or bis aoyoooa
daye. lie reaenea ror in oww hu
downed a Quart or water, ana een
-I aay, I want thla trap taken oft
Da you think Tra a man of wood ot
Iron! Whan I tell folka Oat Aunt
1903, by B. B. McClurt.
Hannah Davla la plisen mean 'null to
et bear trapa for IninM-ent peraona
you'll be hauled up In law."
"I've heard on gixnl authority, Mr.
I'etera, that you ll k your wife."
"If I do ahe uewla It" .
"Well, we'll ae how a licking goea
In your cane. We'll try one anjbow
aa an esjierlmeut"
"I'll holler and ralwe the bull coun
ty!" "Then the whole county will be here
Aunt Hanuah picked out the longeat
awltcu, danijH-iied her baud to keep
her hold good, aud then began the
"eiperlment." Only the third blow
bad fallen when I'etera began to yell,
but no pauae waa made until be bad
received the thraablng of hla Ufa. The
woman bad the will and the inuacle,
and the aprout from the each tree waa
aupple and laxtlng. When about thirty
blowa bad leen admlolatered Aunt
"You aoa bow It worka," ahe aald,
"and you don't aeem to like It Will
you ever whip your wlfa again r
"1 won't protnlae till you let ma out
o thla trap."
"Oh. you won'tl Then we'll bava a
little more of It"
Mis or eight more atlnglng cuta were
enough for Jim. He proiuUed on hla
word of honor never to ralae hla band
agalnat bla wife again. He waa then
banded a third dipper of water, an I
when be refuaed It the awltcb rami
down over bla back, aud the woman
"You've got to learn to like the taate
' of water, and you're got to learn here
and now. Your children bad to go
barefoot all laat winter becauae you
bad to hare your wblaky. l'rlnk it
down or you'll get another duatlng."
Jim managed to drink the water, and
waa then aaked for hla prowlae not to
touch Intoilcatlng drinka fur one year.
"Hut what am I goln' to do when a
feller offer to treat 7" ba proteated.
"You are going to remember thla,"
ahe replied aa aha gave blm half a
dotcn cuta and brought a freah chorua
He prorolaed. Aunt Hannah went
Into the boiiM and wrote out a pledge.
it waa a pledge embodying four or Ove
promlaea, and after ba bad taken an
other drink from the dipper Jim put
bla name to It The blred man, waa
then called up to algn aa a wltneae
aud to pry open the Jawa of the trap,
and Jltn went Mmplng away.
That day marked an epoch in Jim
retera' life. Within a week he bad
work. Ha turned to water Ilka a duck
Ha admlulatered no mora thraahlnga
to hla wife. In fact before a year waa
up ba waa apoken of aa a aober, ateady
man, and bad credit at tba atoree for
the flrat tlma In hla Ufa. Plenty of
people aaked Aunt Hannah how aha
did It, and her ana war waa attka to
"Why. I flrat got my bear trap and
then tried an experiment"
TrlaaT Bak a Cmmi Mrl-
It la a curioua bit of literary exerctae
to take a common aaylng and trace It
back to rta origin. Take the common
aaylng. for Inatance, "All that glitter
la not gold." It la found In current
literature everywhere and In a doaen
different forma. Dryden render It
"All, aa they aay, that glitter la not
gold." Epenaer aaya, "Gold all la not
that doth golden aeem." Lydgate baa
the aam Idea In the worda, "All la
not gold that outward aheweth bright"
Chaucer expreeaea It In aomewbat dif
ferent pbraaeology. Mlddleton baa It
"All la not gold tbat gttatencth," and
Shakeapeara aaya, "All that gllatena la
not gold." Go a little farther back,
however, and the aama expreaalon la
found la the monklan collection of
proverb, and there la no doubt If a
claaalcal acbolar were to aet to work
with the determination to hunt the
proverb down, no matter how long It
took, be would find It In Latin, Greek
and moat other anclont and dead lan
guage. It la a natural outgrowth of
aarcaam aa applied to flcUtioua ahow
and ia no doubt aa old aa the aclence
of metal working.
Earapal"a Maria Bfaaatera.
On the northern count of Norway the
finhermcn get a yearly harveat from
the whale whirl) atray Into the bar
bora. At certain localities, where the
baya are almost landlocked, lofty
atanda are erected, almilar to the otter
outlook on the north Pacific, and
wben a acbool la alghted acorea ol
boats put out and, by tba aluiplt
procoea of driving, hundred of the oil
producing retaeeana are entrapped.
Tbe Faroe Wanda are famoua for thb
method of whaling. One of the largest
catcbee ever made waa hi Hvarfiord.
Iceland, where eleven hundred were
driven ' aahore. The biackBith, or
wlMtlea, come down the Atlantic coaatx
from the north, encounter shallow
water, then follow It along and are
naturally led into the cul-de-aac await
ing them. Here the boata easily aur
roand and drive the whale in.
Diaat Cafck Tfeeaa.
Th following etory of Oliver Wen
dell Holme waa told aoma yeara aga
by a physician who waa a student la
the Harvard Medical school wben Dr.
Holme waa an Instructor ia anatomy
One day tba aukject before the claaa
waa tba cranium, and a human akull
waa paaaed from band to band, th in
troctqr. aaklog tt members of tba
clals' to" describe" tbprdm!nence, cav
ities and aperture. Student after atu
dent gave th names and locatlona of
th orifice, until finally th Inquiry
narrowed down to on opening which
baffled every on.
Dr. Holmea waited patient! fot
aoma ona to distinguish himself, but
no explanation waa advanced. When
all bad given It up, the doctor rather
dryly remarked: "That la Holmea' bola,
I mad It myaelf."
BEGGARS' OU I UTTER.
Oaates AllaaeaU lo Ortr mm Maa.
In a email but neat and comfortable
tti brick house at Hackney Uvea an
elderly, careworn man who la known
to hla uelghlora by tbe myateiioua title
of Uie beggare' tailor." Tb "beggars'
oi'tflttcr" would be a more appropriate
ecbrlcjuet, for the elderly man'a trade
bos nothing to do with tbe making of
clothes. II equips and fits out profes
sional tneudlcanta for the practice of
"A mendicant who haa not mastered
th trlc-ka of tbe trade," began the
beggars' tailor, "baa no more chance
of making money than baa a pugilist
who haa not learned to box. II must
get aa outfit For a woman a email
child la th moat essential detail But
six beggar women out of eight have no
children of their own of tb right age.
I aupply them.
"Dot that's only a small part of my
business. I'll guarantee to make the
healthiest looking man In England re
semble an anaemic cripple In ten min
ute. Only a man wbo can work that
transformation baa a light to call him
self a beggar' tailor.
"Tb public like horrors. Do you see
tboaer Tbe beggars' tailor took from
bla breast ocket a large pill box and
removed the lid. Inside were about a
score of wafers of different size, shiny
with some sdheslve on one aide, and
red, protulierant and nasty looking on
"Those," he continued, "are beggars'
sores. It doesn't sound pice, but you
don't want nlcenese In this business.
My clients purchase them from me,
stick them In the exact spot on their
necks or faces aud find them a good
Investment. When the wafer Is stuck
on, the skin around It must be careful
ly treated with red and white coloring
"Sturdy beggars up from tbe country
always poae on the verge of starvation.
If It weren't for me their fat faces
would belle them. Hut as every stage
dresaer knowa, a few artificial lines
and a Judicious use of shadowa will
make a face like FalstafTs emaciated
and lean. Beggar seldom wash, and
that's lucky for tberaaelvea. Otherwise
they'd be put to fresh expense every
"Are there other tricks of the trader
I ahould think so. If you ever see a
one legged beargar wearing a long coat
ten to oo he'e a 'crock.' With a little
practice a eouud limbed man can bend
up bla leg till It'a almost parallel with
bla thigh Iwne. He cornea to ma for
an artificial leg, which he fixes to his
kneecap. Tbe long coat enables him
to carry off tb fraud. A medal 00 hla
chest, a whin about Tel-al-Keblr or
Colenao, and th trick's don. For
money making no poa can beat tbe
soldier broke In our war.'
"Half (be bfind and ona legged beff-
gar can eee aa well as you or I. I can
fit a blind man with everything from a
dog and eye abade to Braille book In
raised up character. Dogs, of course,
coat money, aa they bava to ba apodal-
ly trained. Aa a ru! the awlndllng
'blind man' hasn't got a dog. It'a not
necessary and a great expense, where
as a real blind man. If he hasn't got a
child, must bav ona.
'Many sham cripple and blind'
men are ex-crimlnals. A man who'a
been lagged' and don a long term of
penal and doeant like It fights shy of
committing a second crime. But he
saya be cant get work aa long as he's
on ticket As a rule, be makea a very
aucceeaful beggar, for nothing sharp
en a man'a wits like jail." London
Letter In Los Angeles Times.
Cervaalaa aa4 Rla Belle.
A biographer of Cervantes, tbe au
thor of "Don Quixote," aaya: "With
high tdeala In bla mind and but few
pieces In bla wallet be married, on
Dec. 12, Vm, with Donna Catallna do
Palacloa t.nlacnr y Tozmedlana Th)
tenth of hla fortune, which Cervantes
settled upon bis wife, amounted to 100
ducats, while an Inventory of the
bride's effects Include several planta
tion of young vines In the district of
Esqulvlaa, a small town of New Cas
tile; alx buahela of meal and one of
wheat, aoma article of household fur
nlture, two linen and three cotton
aheeta, a evasion anal two pillows stuff
ed with weal; on good blanket and
an worn, tables, chairs, pots and pans,
a braaler, a grater, several Jars, sacred
Imagea ka alabaster aad allver gilt a
crucifix, two lltfle Images of the baby
Jasus, four be hire, forty-flv bens."
Feaaiaa ttt Caaary,
Remember never to give canaries too
muth besting food. Their regular diet
ahould b canary seed mixed with one
fourth the quantity of summer raps
eeed; thla wftb a supply of chick weed,
groundsetl or water crass Is sufficient
except in tb breeding season, when a
mora stimulating food Is needed, such
as hemp seed and a Uttle shopped egg.
In training a young canary to sing the
best method hi to place bla cage near
that of a good songster. If this cannot
b dona, proem a flageolet which will
imitate bird note and play a almple
air on It over and over again. The bird
will learn th tun In from two to sit
months. As soon ss a baby canary can
feed Itself It ahould ba removed to a
separate cage or It will learn Ita pa
rent's note Instead of th song It la
learning rton res upmS,
Raw Car for Caacer.
All surface cancers are now known
to be curable, by Buckles Arnica 6a.lv.
Jaa. Walters, of Dufileld, Va write;
"I had a canorr on my lip for yeara, tiiat
seemed incurable, till Bucklen'a Arnica
Halve healed it, and now it Is perfectly
well. " Guaranteed cure for cuta and
burna. 25c at Cbas. Roger drug store.
3 U3 IN CSS
If you are thinking of attending bus
iness eolleg you can not afford to ig
nore th best in th northwest. Our
equipment ia unsurpassed west of Chi
cago. On account of our rapidly Increaa
WE WILL MOVE
October First to our elegant new quar
ters in th
now being completed at Seventh and
Stark stmts. Our graduates are all
employed. Placed 207 pupils in lucra
tive positions during the past year.
Bend for our handsomely illustrated
catalogue. Free. Address all communi
cations to our present quarters in the
Stearns Building, Portland.
Like a. Top
Don't lie awake with the remedy at
your elbow. To banish wakeful- (
ness. nervous starts, bad dreams :
to sleep soundly and waken re
SoldBrerrwhera. In boxes Ma and Sc.
Cures all Kidney and Bladder DiseasesGuaranteed
Charles Rogers. Druist.
We Want to Talk to You
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Handsome Books of them fit to grace any
We take your old worn out books with
the covers torn off, rebind them and return
to you good as any new book.'
Let us figure with you on fixing up your
J8 5 jg J5
The J. S. Dellinger Go.,
. . . ' - , . h4 -- . T -a..t a r -' - '
J. Q. A. BOWLBY, President.
0. I. PETERSON, Vlve-Preldent
.Astoria Savings Bank
Capital raid la llOOjOOO. Sarptoa and Cnalrlded Profit ttf.OOO.
transact a General BDklD Boninaw. Interest Paid on Tims Deposits
? 10S Tenth Street,
First National Bank of Astoria, Ore
Capital and Surplus 0100,000
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Prospective traveler desiring infor
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routes ar Invited tc correspond with
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