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About The morning Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1899-1930 | View Entire Issue (Aug. 15, 1905)
6 THE MORNING ASIORIAN. ASTORIA, OREGON. TUESDAY, AUGUST ij, 1903. Honest Abe's Poetic Careei The United Stales Mai Carrier Can't Stop It, So It Seem. tCopyriirht, l, by B. B. McOure, WHEN I got along to Inolt Billy Irew'a farmhouse the other day he balled ni from the orchard, and when be bad come slowly out to tin toad be began: "Look-a-here, Abe, I thought you war my friend." "And so I am. I'nele Billy." "But it don't look much like It." "What do you mean?" '; "Well, you've been wrltln poetry foi almost everybody for teu mile up and own this road, but haven't offered tc write a durned line for us. 1 hain't aid anything about It before, but I'll . ewn up that my feelin's bave been hurt" - . ."But yoo know I'd bare written you a thousand poems If I'd known you am, it ib tex bweetbst thdto xtxi whiton." . . wanted anything of that sort Most that I bare written is obituary poetry, and as you bare not lost wife or chil dren of course yon have wanted noth ing of the kind." "If you'd asked me about It," he con tinued rather sulkily, "I could lave told you that I lost an uncle about twenty years ago. It may lie purty late In the day, but If all the folks along bere are goln in for obituary poetry why shouldn't we? That's what th Id woman and the boys say, and that's what I say. However, as yon are so drefful busy wltb all the others" "You shall have your poetry in ten minutes," I interrupted, and 1 got down from my cart and went to the house with him. It was my first poem for two days, and I bad to kick myself three or four times to get my muse on the move, but when I struck my gait I rattled off the following like a barrel bumping down bill: We mourn for him, poor Vncle Joe, Whose fate was full ef sadness, . Who took a Pittsburg steamer and . baled down the stream In gladness. 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Complete treatment for every hnraonr, consisting of Cutlcura 8oap to cleans the skin, Cutlcura Ointment to beal the kin, and Cutlcura Resolvent Pills to cool and cleanse the blood may now be . had for one dollar. A single set is often efficient to cure the most torturing, disfiguring, itching, burning and scaly humours, eczemas, rashes and Irrita tions, from Infancy to age, when all else fails. aMfluwffcmttlMwarle'. Ctfcvr SWrmt. He rl Vm of CkoroioU 4 MU4 Pilh, 2U ft of , Oio fitter Onm Cheat. Corp.. Solo Proprietor. Si M nn, km am m ni mi Bwion, IS Cotuakat in,, seroonaior kuw Can Swrj II hi To New Orleans poor Jos was bound To see the Crescent City, : - Cut lr-at Cairo he'd have stopped . I ne'er hod penned this duty. He walked aboard the Nancy Jane, And In his, luck h trusted, But twenty miles below Cat point The steamer up and busted. Iter boiler It was shattered, and ' Her hull It was demolished. And Vncle Joe was one of those Whose future was abolished. He sleeps beneath Ohio's wave, The trumpet call awaiting. And that he Is a busted man Admits of no deballns'. There you are, Uncle Billy," I said, as I finished reading the poem to bin), "and what do you think of Itr He took the paper with tender Augers and gased at It until bis tears blinded him. It was a long two uiluutes be fore he could control bis voice to say: "Abe, if I'd lost two hogs by the cholera It wouldn't have teched my feellu'a as this thing has doue. All I can say to you now ta that I'm ten million times obleeged, but next time you come along I shall hope to prove my gratitude." At the blacksmith shop, two mile below, I bad to stop to get a loose shoe fastened, and 1 was sorting over my letters when I looked up and saw that the smith had tears in bis eyes. . I asked him if he was la pain, and told him that I always carried a bottle of relief, but he made no answer until be had fixed the shoe. Then be sat down beside me and said: - "Abe, that letter you handed my wife the other day was from her mother In Illinois and it contained bad news.' "Nobody dead, I hope." "Tesber sister Bally. She died of the kick of a cow. There Isn't a hu man beln' In the state of Illinois who can write poetry, and Martha asked me If I wouldn't ask yon to get off some thing. We'll send a copy oot west, and It will cheer us all amazingly." "Will it do next time I come along?" "I'm afraid not, Aba. Martha does nothing but walk around and weep, and if you put It off another day she may drown herself in the cistern. Ton write me something, and I'll look over the other shoes and see that they are all right" I had to use a piece of paper floor sack and the stub of a pencil, but my muse frolicked around and enabled me to invent the following: In a certain western state, where the beef trust makes the rate. There did dwell a maiden aged twenty years. Her name was 8ally Tripper, and to milk - he was a ripper. And It's on account of that we're shed ding tears. When the sun It was a-slnk!ng, and the rhlckens were a-bllnklng. And the whippoorwlll was raising of a row. Then Sally of the dairy, with a smile just like a lairs. Would go out to do the milking of the cow. Cpon this one occasion, and without the least persuasion. And while upon a stool the gui re clined Tea while her tender fingers yet upon the udder lingers That devil of a cow kicked out behind. Poor Bally went a-sprswUn aad for her sister calling. And shortly she was carried off to bed. But the doctors soon announced In tones the most pronounced That ere the sun bad risen' she'd be dead. O maiden young and fair, with a life so free from care. Be careful when a-mllklng you do go! Keep It ever on your mind that the cow may kick behind When the golden sun is sinking In his glow. The blacksmith is a strong, rugged fellow, and I did not look for senti ment In bis composition. Great was my surprise, therefore, to see him burst Into tears after reading the poem over to himself and to have him take nie by the band and exclaim In a broken voice:. "Abe, It Is the sweetest thing ever written in all this world. It will make my wife faint away when she reads it, but as soon as she comes to she will begin to feel better and soon shake off ber sadness. By thunder, but I'd give a million dollars If I had it If I could touch the human heart like you can. Tour horse can cast every shoe and your cart break down every other day, but all repairs will be made at this shop free gratis." A day or two later I learned that his wife did faint away upon reading the poem and remained in a swoon for eighteen hours, but came out of it at last to ask for fried pork and potatoes boiled wltb their Jackets on, and after a hearty meal began to live again. There was only one more call on my muse that day. The Widow Splcer, whose husband died nine years ago, suddenly remembered the fact as I stopped to hand out ber mall, and to comfort and console ber I Invented the following: Nine years ago the clammy hand Reached out and seised my Harry, And hauled him up to dwell above, And left me free to marry. But I am still a widow and Am for my loved one arlevlnc And that I'll never wed acalo I'll keep on still believing. Sleep, Harry: sleep and worry not Tour Martha can't forret you. And, should she chance her mind and wed. She'll cease not to regret you. The widow tru comforted, the poetry worth preserving to posterity waa add ed to, and I drove on, feeling that my day bad not been lived In vain. M. QUAD. Not Necessarily. "Are there really amazons In Af- Hear "I suppose so." "When an araazon flies to Arms It does not necessarily mean that she is going to war, does itr Houston Post Furnlturs For Sale. The book eases, papers, racks and other library furniture of the Astoria Library for sals at very reasonable prices. Call at library room immediate- AT SEASIDE The Homing Ait'oriaa is on sale at Lewis & Co's Drug Store and Morrison h Greenbauo'i Cigar Store. AAAAAA A A A AAA A A. A. A A. A. Jfc A A A. A. A A WW WWW You May Want A furnished house, rooms or store. Make your wants known to the readers of this paper. If you want a tenant for a house, soma reader may be the desired party. Obtained by Advertising in the Want Columns of the Morning Astorian. DAILY 7,000 READERS TTttTTTx SITUATION WANTED. WANTED A set of books to keep even ings, office. Address R. X. Y., Astorian HELP WANTED. WANTKD-C1RU5 WANTED AT THE Troy, 'aundry. WANTED ENERGETIC, TRUST worthy man or woman to work in Ore., representing large manufacturing company ; salary 40 to 90 per month, paid weekly; expense advanced. Address, with xtauip, J. II. Moore, As toria, Ore. COOK WANTED FOR LOGGING camp. Apply this oflice. Henry Hoeck, 165 Exchange street. WAN T ED I N ST ALLMENT COLLEC tor for merchandise accounts; good salary and expenses. Addres Globe Company, 723 Chestnut st., Philadelphia, Pa. WANTED Ablebodied men for United States navy; ages 17 to 35 years; psy $16 to $70. Apply at room 11, Pythian building. LEARN TELEGRAPHY AND R. R Accounting. 150 to $500 a month sal ary assured our graduates under bond. Our six schools the largest in America and endorsed by all Railroads. Write for catalogue. MORSE SCHOOL OF TELEGRAPHY, Cincinnati, 0., Buffalo, N. Y., Atlanta, Ga., La Crosse, Wis., Tex arkana, Tex., San Francisco, Cal. TO RENT. FOR RENT A NEWLY FURNISHED 5-room modem cottage, including pin no. Iu-feren'-e remnred. Address J, care Antorian. WANTED TO RENT A small fur nifhed house or three houwkeeplng rooms in respectable location. Address, giving terms, Inquirer, care Astorian. LOST AND FOUND. FOUND ABOUT 6o FATHOMS, LARGE mesh gillnet, below city; bluestoncd. Call at "My House" Saloon. ROOMS FOR RENT. HOUSEKEEPING ROOMS FOR KENT. Inquire J. B. Brown, at Ross, Uiggins k Co. FOR KENT-THREE FURNISHED rooms for housekeeping. Enquire 472 Commercial Street. FOUND-GILL NET, NEAR FORT Canby, yellow buoy marked "K KH; license number, W.1117. 0. D. Stewarts, Fort Canby Life Saving Station. CALL FOR BIDS ' NOTICE FOR BIDS. BIDS WILL EE RECEIVED FOR THE hot water heating apparatus of the new St. Mary's hoHpitaL Plans and specifications may be seen at the oflice of the architect at St. Mary's hospital. All bids to be in on or before the 19th of August, 1005. Right reserved to re ject any or all bids. PRIVATE BOARDING; BO AD AND ROOM WANTED IN private family, town or vicinity, by Ilady with piano; privilege practicing tie aired. "Address D 3, care Astorian. Situations Wanted Advertisements - Twice Without Charge. TYPEWRITERS. WJCKENSDEKFF.R TYPEWRITERS supplies, repairing. Ross 1 Ross, 06 Stark street, Portland. HOUSES WANTED. WANTED SEVEN-ROOM FURNISH ed house, centrally located. Blaiut Phillip, Atorian. FOR SALE MISCELLANEOUS. INCUBATOR FOR SALE 400 EQ08 capacity; also three lot capacity brooders; first-class condition, Ad ireu A. Astorlan Offloo. FOR SALE) SECOND-HAND 7 COL umn newspaper outfit; complete ex cept press; cheap. Inquire at this of flee. FOR SALE HIGH COUNTER, about S feet long. Apply at Ator Ian office. PROFESSIONAL CARDS. PHYSICIANS. . JAY TUTTLE, M. D. PHYSICIAN AND SUKQEON Acting Awlstanl Surf eon 0. 8. Marias Hospital Hereto, Offios hours: 10 to II a-m, I to 4:10 p.m 477 Commercial Street. Snd Floor. OSTEOPATHI8TS. Dr. Blicxla C. Illrka. Ur. t. Snyder OSTEOPATHS. Office Mansell Bid. Phone Black 20C8 E7S Commercial St.. Astoria. Ore. ' DENTISTS. DR. T. L. BALL, DENTIST. 524 Commercial St Astoria, Oreson. Dr. VAUGIIAN, Dextist Pytbian Building, Astoria, Oregon. Dr. tt; C. LOCJAN DENTIST 578 Commercial St., Bbanahan BaUdiot BUSINESS DIRECTORY FURNITURE. ROBINSON & H1LDEBRAND Goodman BIdg. 588 Commercial St FURNITURE, Carpets, sledding 8tovss, Mstting, Window Shades, LINOLEUM, Ete. BILLIARD HALL8. Occident Hotel Bar (EL Billiard Hall. Tables New and Everything First Class. Fine it brands of Liquors and . Cigars MEAT MARKETS. FRESH AND CURED MEATS -Wbolnaleand Retail- Ships, Logging Camps and Mill Sup plied on Short Notice. ' LIv 'BtocVBougKl'snd Sold. WASHINGTON MARKET CHRI8TEN8EN & CO. Central Meat Market G W. Morton A J no. Fuhrmsn, Prop's. CHOICEST FRE8H AND SALT 'MEATS-PROMPT D1CLIVERT. 542 Commercial 8t Phono Main 321 BLACK8MITHS. ANDREW - ASP, Blacksmith. Having Installed a Rubber Tiring Machine of th latest pattern I am prepared to do all kinds ef work at reasonable prloss. 12th and Dusns 8ts. Inserted , LAUNDRIES. The Troy Laundry , The only whit labor laundry In the elty. Doss the best work at rsstensbls prices and Is In every way wcrthy ef your patronage. 10tH and DUANI Sta Phone 1991. BROKERAGE. C J., TRENCH ARD Real Estate, Insurant Cemmlsslst and Shipping. CUSTOM -.HOUIK iROKIft 5fHes 1M Ninth Street, Nsat U Justlse Offlee. ASTORIA, OREGON. PUBLIC STENOGRAPHER. Clara B. Simpson, PUBLIC STENOGRAPHER. Room 2, Over Star Theater. . MILK DEALERS. Milk must bs frosu aad ours That old and young may enjoy lt Few know that it even may provs a cure For weakness which i so annoying We Handle only Pure Milk fresh from Healthy Cows. Morning or night delivery. THE SLOOP-JEF'EftS CO, 19th and Duane streets. WOOD YARDS. WOOD! WOOD! WCOD Coed weed, mill weed, box wood, any kind of wood at lowest prices. Kelly, th transfer msn. 'Phons 2211 Blask. Barn en Twelfth, eppesiu epers RESTAURANTS. FIRST-U LA;JS MEAL for 15c; nice cake, coffee, pie, or doughnuts, 6c, at U. S. Restaur' ant. 434 BotilSt BEST 15 CENT MEAL; You can always find the best 15-cent meal in the city at the Rising Sun Restaurant 612 Commercial St PHOTOGRAPHERS. A. A. SAASI, PHOTOGRAPHER. First-Class Work Guaranteed. . Orders taken for enlarging 212 Fourteenth street, opposite Foard & Stokes Co., Antoria, Oric m. HAMMOND DIRECTORY SALOONS HAMMOND. THE LIBERTY SALOON HAMMOND, OREGON. Under New Miaajsment, Tns Best place in the City to Spend a pleasant hour. FRED BRENDELL, Prop. Pacific and Henrietta St., Hammond. The Hammond. People do not take time to knock . When at the end of the walk. The man on the bank of the river, Fine liquors and cigars will deliver To you by the light of sun or moon, If you call at the Hammond Saloon ' W. STORM, Prop. MAKTIN'S PALACE You will miss it if you don't see Mar tin. All -Knights of the Road, snd other Knights, will be royally entertained here. " martin Mclaughlin, Prop. Hammond, ' Oregon. THE STAR SALOON Wines, liquors and Cigars. You can spend a pleasant hour here. Pool room In connection. . CHAS. McDERHOTT, Prop. Hammond. - ' Oregon. SEASIDE DIRECTORY. HOTELS. PACIFIC COTTAGE Shell road, near the beach. Rooms with hoard. Unatonable prices. Ice cream parlor and refreshment. of ail kinds, Short order. Coffee, eaks, ete, . MRS. NELLIE WILLIAMS ; Prop. THE OSIER, CAFE , ' . and- : Short Order House Oysters, Clam land Crabs ia any Style. Home cooking, nothing but the lt of everything. Short order or regular meal at reasonable prlue MRS. a C. OSIER, Prop. Seaside, Oregon. COLONIAL HOTEL Located in the most beautiful spot, over looking the txran. Nluoty tlegantly furnished rooms. rs.th House ia Connection. Comforts of home. Rest meals. Rate, 3 and up. McGUIRE'S HOTEL Largs and Airy Room. Good beds. Everything flrst-class. Rate Reasonable Main Street, Seaside, Ore. BARBER 8H0P. NEW CITY BARBER SHOP Two t'p-tO'ilat barbers Shaving, 15c. Hair cutting, tie Msin street, next door to City Bakery. RESTAURANTS. LOUIS OYSTER HOUSE CRACKED CRABS, OYSTERS. - Clam Chowder a specialty. Served any hour of the day. At the end of lis bildge. Seaside Orecoa. Try us. We will please you. THE HEMLOCK CAFE ARD OYSTER PARLOR. Is getting to be the lesdlug resort at Seaile. . Short orders a Specialty. MRS. II. A. STIIKS, Proprietor. TRY OUR 350 DINNERS. Tastes like mother ued to cook. The Arlington Restaurant Jeff Block, st the bridge, Seaside, Ore. LIVERY AND EXPRESS. Livery Stable Livery, Sale and Feed Stable, Saddle Horses, First-CUss Rigs, Bsggsgs and Cxprrss. Wood for sale and general de livery, N, D. BJIN & CO., Seaside, Ore. WINES AND LIQUORS. THE BRIDGE Harry Kretur and Harry Bulger Are now running The Bridge Saloon, where they will bs plresed to meet thflr friends. THE GEM Whils st the Beach 'stop at The (Jem. Pure Liquors, Cool Beer, Highest Gradf Cigars, a Specialty. THE. OCEAN The rnont popular saloon""" AT SEASIDE. Billiard and Pool Hall in connection. B. J. CALLAHAN, Prop EAGLE SALOON SSWSfcWSSSSSBSBSSsW Choice Wines, Liquors and Cigsrs. Finest place in Seaside to pais a pleas snt hour. FRANK SCOTT, Prop, CHANGE OF OWNERSHIP. H. V, Thompson, conducting the place known as the Pacifio Creamery Co., at Seaside, has turned the business over to Oeorge Stall. Mr. Stall hss assumed all responsibilities of the firm. HOTELS. HOTEL PORTLAND PORTLAND, ORE. Finest Hotsl In the Northwest