THE MORNING AHTORIAN. ASTORIA, OREGON.
MONDAY, JULY 17, 1903.
Names of Note
Ii the New.
A Joks by ths Fop Daniel Frohmaa
n Flaywriting Rear Admiral
Willtrd H. Brownioo John
i M. Carson's Carter.
T is not often that
the supreme poutil
of the Roman Cath
olic church Indulges
in a Joke, but Tope
Pius X., boru Sarto, is
very gonial and kind
hearted, and when he
noted during a re
cent audience given
to Ilerr Schneider,
pori rius x.
bishop of Paderborn,
that the bishop, who bad Just been in
troduced, was very nervous, be made a
facetious remark that at once put the
German prelate at ease.
"Monslgnore," said the pope, with
laugh, "we are brothers, Pont you
The bishop evidently did not. so the
pope continued:
"We both belong to the tailor fam-
ily, Schneider, as well as Sartor
Schneider is the German for tailor
and Sarto is the Italian.
Daniel Ftohman, one of New York's
leading theatrical managers, recently
delivered some remarks about play
writing. "To succeed," said Mr. Frob-
man. a play most have snap. Liter
ary men, when they write plays, for
get this fact They create dramas of
literary but of no dramatic worth.
Snap la everything.
A literary man asked me the other
day to tell him what snap was. I de
scribed a play to
him a one act play
that waa full of
snap. W
I explained, "in a
drawing room, with
a man and woman
seated side by side
on a sofa embrac
ing each other pas
sionately. "Into the drawing
room stalks a man DAIfIEL nonuAS.
with a grip and an umbrella of
course, the husband, unexpectedly re
turned. The husband no sooner sees the cou
ple on the sofa than he whips out a re
volver and kills them both her first,
him afterward.
"Then he puts on his glasses, and,
looking about him, suddenly gives a
great start
"'Good heavens r he exclaims. I'm
on the wrong floor T "
Senator H. C. Hansbrough of North
Dakota has long been the owner of a
newspaper. Of late years other du
ties have prevented his giving it much
attention, and be has depended on dl
. vers Itinerant Journalists, says Har
per's Weekly.
"I've had some good men In the
place, Jtoo," the senator once observed
to a friend; "men
capable of holding
an important place
on a city dally.
Then I have had
some who did not
altogether make
good. I remember
one in particular, a
man named Link
wood. Llnkwood
was never satisfied
with simplicity. He
would refer to an
'equine horse' and
f E.I ATOB HA5S
B ROUGH.
In the case of a tramp killed In a rail
road accident said that the 'unfortu
nate man sustained a fracture of the
spiral column.' Another of his pet
kxpresslons was tripping the light
bombastic toe.' "
"You probably didn't keep him long,"
suggested the friend.
"Oh, I didn't mind these ss much,
but when the daughter of a leading cit
izen was married and he spoke of the
bridal procession 'proceeding down the
aisle to the entrancing strains of Men
del & Son's wedding march' I decided
that we had reached the parting of tie
ways."
Brigadier General PrarS D. Baldwin,
who was recently ordered to Chicago to
take command of the department of
the lakes, In noted as the only man on
the army lists who wears two con
gressional medals of honor. He won
the first in the civil war and the sec
ond In fighting Indians, and his
achievements In the Philippines caused
talk of his being awarded another
medal, but the authorities at Wash
ing concluded that two such medals
were enough for any num. It was at
Peach Trt' creek In 1S1, when he was
a captalu'of volunteers, that he won
his first medal. He led his company
In the recapture of
the regiment's col
ors after a hand to
hand fiht with a
much larger com
luand. The second
medal was woo
when he was serv
ing with General
Miles In Wyoming
In 1S78. The Indi
ans were on a
roc.ky bill with
steep sides that
BBJO. UK.t. FRANK
D. BALI' WIS.
were covered with
lee. It appeared to be Impossible to
take the place by assault. Baldwin
asked permission to make the attempt
"It's death," said Miles, "but you may
try."
S5$ I
' ,'i
- V
w j
haklwla placed himself at the head
of an assaulting party aud weut up the
hillside in the face of a fearful down
ward llr. The Men could not use thetr
weapons. They could simply cling,
tooth and nail, and toll upward, with
their gallaut leader urgtng thetu on.
The casualties were heavy, but the lint
moved forward, the summit waa
gained, and the ludlana fled,
Major John M. Carson, who was re
cently appointed commissioner of man
cfactures, a new position In the fed
eral department of Cvmraerc,o aud la
bor, Is dean of the correspondents
ton at Washington. He has been
twice presldeut of the famous Grid
Iron club, aud his friends have num
bered the most eminent ineu in public
life during the last thirty years. Born
In 1SS8. he worked
as a young man
In the newspaper
busluess in Phila
delphia, served
three years in the
civil war and came
out a captain. lie
became a Wash-
I
I Ington correspond-
" ,n 1ST3-6nd for
T'at l
h?8 h.lgn
J0H3I U. CABSOS.
p
slot. Major Carson Is an authority
on most matters of government b
particularly upon finance and tar!
t
He is also well Informed about army
J iff airs, and nearly every president has
eought his advice In making promo
tions of men in the army to be general
officers. A competent writer, a speak-
er who can Instruct and entertain, he
is one of the most accomplished men
among the Washington correspond
ents. 1
President Harrison wanted to make
Major Carson assistant secretary of
war, and President McKlnley asked
him to be bis private secretary, but be
declined office on both occasuhs.
Lew Fields, the comedian, and Julius
Steger were standing on the corner of
Broadway and Forty-second street
New "York, the other day when a
stranger accosted them.
"Do these cars stop at the Battery?"
be asked.
"If they don't," replied Mr. Fields,
"you'll get an awful ducking."
Wlllard H. Brownson, who for some
years was superintendent of the An
napolis Naval academy and has Just
been made a rear admiral, was the
naval officer who fired the shot In the
harbor of Rio Janeiro which was beard
around the world. It was In the Mello
naval Insurrection In Brazil in 1894.
The Insurgent naval force was trying
to establish a block
ade and threatened
to fire on American
Warships If they
Insisted on giving
to the American
coffee ships safe es
cort to their docks.
Brownson was then
in command of the
Detroit and be fired
a six pounder at the
leading Brlzlllan
ship and cleared for
KEAB ADMIRAL W.
H. BR0W58O.T.
action. But no more
shots were necessary. The blockade
collapsed.
When a guest of Sir Thomas Llpton
some time since the admiral told of an
other shot be once fired. He said:
"While in command of the gunboat
Petrel, about twelve years ago, then
lying off Greytown, a monster shark
came every day and lay on our quar
ter. Just bow big he was I won't un
dertake to say, but there was a thirty
foot wbaleboat at the gangway one
day, and when the shark's head was at
1 the prow of that boat he could twist
bis tall all around the stern. I tried a
number of shots at him with a rifle
without any risible effect so one morn
ing I trained a one pounder on the spot
where be usually placed his bead and
told an orderly to notify me when he
appeared. I had forgotten all about
the matter and was at lunch below
deck with some guests when the order
ly entered. liaising his right hand In
the customary naval salute, he an
nounced with the utmost grarlty and
as If announcing the arrival of some
one of Importance:
" The shark's alongside, sir.
"When the laugh that followed the
rather startling announcement bad
subsided we all want on deck and
found the monster with bis bead In the
range of the gun. I fired. There was
a tremendous splashing and a good
deal of blood spilled, but the shark dis
appeared. I never saw him after
ward."
Ills excellency A. J. Nelldoff, who has
been designated by the czar as chief
plenipotentiary for Russia In the peace
negotiations with Japan, now pending,
is tbe Russian ambassador to France.
He Is a typical Russian in appearance
and has enjoyed an unusually success
ful career as a diplomat He has rep
resented Russia In Italy, and In 1897
was the Russian ambassador to Tur
key. Difficult duties fell to him in this
rapacity, as the EuropeaiTpowers were
then urging upon
the sultan certain
reforms In the ad
ministration of his
kingdom affecting
the status of for
eigners. M. Nell
doff was charged
with acting as
spokesman of the
powers In the deal
ings with the sultan
and acquitted him
self In a way which
U. KELIDOFF.
rdllected credit upon himself and ad
vanced the Interests of Russia, llv
was promoted not long afterward to
the French ambassadorship, aud th
Importaut and often delicate duties
that have fallen to him In this connec
tion have been discharged with mucfc
ability and discrimination.
Bright Sayings by
Wee Boys emd Girls
M
AMMA (angrily! Johnny, how
uiauy times have I told you to
stop that noise?
Johnny tarter a pause), Seven, mam
ma. Father (looking at .school report)
Who Is the Ust writer lu your class.
Bobby?
Bobby-WUHe Jones. All tbe boys
In the class get hliu to writs their ex
cuses. Little Margie (who has compony)
We've been playlug school, mamma.
Mauiua-Indeed! And did you be
have uteolj ?
Little Margle-Oh. 1 didn't have to
U'have. I was teacher. Chicago
News.
A little maid who bad not yet reach
ed her third birthday was oue day re
counting to ber mother the many ac
complishments of her adored cousin,
Margery, who looked down ou life
from the exalted height of eight sum
mers. "Just think, mammal Margery can
dwess herself and buttou ber own
shoes and bwush her own balr aud but
ton little Edua'a clothes and bold tiny
baby aud put on her own wubbers aud
coat and hood, and-aud" (casting
about for still greater marvels) "maybe
she can even spank herself and save
ber mamma the twouble!" Ltpptu-
ott's Uagazlue.
DIAat Kmow tb tcL."
Aunt Jane I guev Mr. Spender
must be a very neat person. Edith
And what leads you to that opinion?
Aunt Jane ne told your Uncle George
all bis clothes but those upon his back
were hung up. Some men, you know,
throw their things round anywhere.
Boston Transcript
A Kle DUtlartloa.
Medium Do you wish to see your
departed husband's spirits? Mrs. Whlf-
fletree No; I want to see his ghost
Josh never had no spirit Puck.
IF YOU
WE CAN CURE YOU
Th Ti Phono Tiwtltnto M ft-hnnl tor
Statmutren uf lMnll. Mu-hltnut. K.i.'.U.hr.l
rn. Hav ruml IhottMUriA. oll Hll wan!rl
Vurld'a lair. M IjmiI.. 11.4. ltMOfiiliiiiilrlt bv l.hr.h
tana, atliiratora, rlrry vnivn. ami ratual .r? whera,
Thla Innlllutlon kaa a !. m bran) a l I'ortlalHi ollh
a very larva rlaaa of piflla tn allamtam-a nwn anu
vnmn. irtrt.aim novaaH It- M-n w.ri.iy pin; n...
hM ruia.l In Inn- !.. huft fl.a Iw .li a. WW I. tha
tlfnUMiiallyr!iiHTd- WUU'Ulo l-orllanrlMiiclubrr
lllli. Will arr-rpt I'll I'll. or. Ill fviilrmlirr 1-1 A
POSITIVE, ABttOLUTK CUBE OUARAHTEED.
Wrlt,-aloii.-aftrartrulararMl laiirta. II yixi manll-tn
tfata papar and atn.1 brrnu In .tamp, lo n..ar ituira.
I will T'iu our rloin Imweid. ;w vp bok -Tha
Oriyla and Traalmanl ol Mainrrwrltiil' irca vt charx.
AddrM WIT. MAX T. LEWIS
Wwun Ropraaauuiilv Aaaociat PrinclpaJ
S. W. Cot. 1 8lh and Ralatich Slraal
POBTLAND. OIUUiOM
Hot-5o pa pi la acrrptad a( I'ortlaud after Sept. lft.
TkisS ike
hind of
Sioij for
is pacing
110,000
' Too DimcciT
Ie rMMrltsato loan fraart taa rrlaaSa
aoaaae a aria oal Quakar .Miuur oaa aaa
a4 SM arrlai a kar frandaapkav,
faf aaraaa vkaaaaMUiaaourModUi twtaiy.
mm (an raaarraa mam llllll Uaclallat It kar
Tha aid lad ai ai kar naai aa an. ih
aacaaloa. and al a auu Hi tha waMloitetakhat
'" i?" '-wa mm a. aar
1 a
"Tall oi k
That la mm lold, vlilta
kraa, aalral. -i waa twcauM J WM
I.M HMU rv. .1. a
aaay plaaaat aa 0 Vila waa."
iso (yoxv
know of
atetieronc
We Want litti ItnriM. knarrintaa V.tm i
ver-ie ajijr clipping from a nwpnj.
magazine or book uat hut made you
Think, Laugh or Cry
840 prize will be given for the but arlec
lione. 1 pile ot lilver dollitn as hiifh
ethe firt ten iuccettful comuetitori aie
the hrat awardi.
The only condition lor entering thli com
petition if that you lend with your clipping
F-.!. , " rnonthk' trial ubcription
to tha Natloaal Magazine. Addreu,
JOE CHAPPLE, Editor
M DORCHESTER AVENUE,
Boatoa, Maaa.
NATIONAL
MAGAZINE
HELP WANTED.
WANTKD-GIlvLS AT TROY LAIN
dry. WAM'KH tillJL Full HOl'SKWOUK.
Mrs. K. Osburn, "00 Irving Avenue.
W.UTK KvSS WAN T DA 1TLY
Cole liouve.
AT
WANTKD-S1TUATION OR WORK
wanted at washing, ironing or house
cleaning. Add reus, C41 Kensington av.
WANTED A HOUSEKEEPER BY A
man and boy, Ma to wsgrs wanted.
References exchanged. Addrert, "Houm
keeper," care of the Astorian,
WANTED GIRL FOR LIGHT HOUSE
work. Inquire at Astorlan efllre.
TYPEWRITERS.
I1UCKENSDERFEU TYPEWRITERS
supplies, repairing. Hots & Rons, 200
Stark street, Portland.
CANNING MACHINERY FOR SALE.
COMPLETE SALMON CANNERY OUT
fit, especially adapted for fall pack
ing. Capacity 330 to 400 cans per day.
Apply to F, P. Kendall, Room 5, Hum.
iltwn Bldg., Portland, Oregon,
FOR RENT ROOMS.
FOR RENT THREE NICELY FURN
ished rooms for rent. Centrally lo
cated. Private family. Apply at this
olilce.
OFFICES FOR RENT.
FOR RE.iT FOUR NICE UN FUR
nished oflrce rooms in Pythian Build
log, over C. H. Cooper's Store. Apply
to Dr. Vaughn, in the building.
STIAM WOOD SAW.
MOORE BROS. WILL BE IN" ASTORIA
with a flrt-'.'ltt.s steam wood saw on
or about Aug. 13. Leave or.U-rs at 131
Ator St. 6 27-lmo
TO RENT HOUSES.
FOR RENT 7 RtKj.M IlULSK. WEST;
of Tout Office. . Enquire at this ofllee. i
FOR RKNT-IS1X ROOM HOUSE FUKi, 1r , ..
rent
Iminire 17th and Jerome ave.
1
HOUSES WANTED.
WANTED SEVEN-ROOM FURNISH
ed house, centrally locatt'd. Hlaine
Phillip, Aitlorian.
CALL FOR BIDS.
SEALED PROPOSALS WILL BE RE
reived at the olilce of the architect
at the Owiili nt Hotel until 2 o'clock P.
M., July 17, for piling and rapping foun- J
dation on lot, cor. 11th and Dtiane tts.,
Atoria, Ore. A. S. Reed.
i -' ' " " ' " t
I CALL FOR BIDS.
SEALED PROPOSALS WILL EE RE-
i ceived at the office of the Iflght House
Engineer, Portland, Ore., until 2 o'ch,k
P. M., July 27, 1905, and thfn opened, j
for furnishing mincellaneous articles forj
tbe Light I!oiie Etalililinient, for the;
fliteal year ending June 30, 100(1; com-!
prising Hardware; Pipe, filting", etc. ,
Paints, oils, fto.; Soap, matches, etc.;
Lubricating oils, etci and Lnmlx-r, in
accordance with specificatione, copies of
which, with blank proKala and other
information, may be bad upon appli-l
cation to Major W. C. Langfilt, Corps
of Engineers, U. 8. A., Engineers. ,
OFFICE COXSTRUCTINO QUARTER
master, Aatoria, 0re.w July 5, 1903
Scaled propotials in triplicate, will be
received at this office, until 10 o'clock, A.
M., July 20, 1905, and then opened, for
electric light fixtures, and installing ex
terior and interior lighting yntems at
Fort Stevens, Ore. Uuited States re
serves the right to reject sny or all
propoxals. Plans can be seen and irpec
ideations obtained at this office. In
formation furnished on application. En
velopes should be marked, "Proposals
for electric work," and addressed Cap
tain Goodale, Quartermaster, Astoria
Oregon.
MILK DEALERS.
IF YOU VALUE YOUR HEALTH
You will demand PURE MILK, Fresh
From Healthy Cows.
Itais our aim to supply ths need. Our
us, while new-comers are recommended
regular patrons continue to deal with
to our milk depot by knowing friends.
Morning or night delivery.
(THE 8LOOP.JEFFERS CO, 10th and
JDuane streets.
Situations Wanted Advertisements
Twice Without Charge.
BUSINESS DIRECTORY
Clares D. Simpson,
' PUBLIC STENOGRAPHER.
Room 2, Over Star Theater.
FURNITURE.
ROBINSON ft H1LDEBRAND
Goodman Bldg. 584 Commtreial tt
FURNITURE, Carpsts, Bidding.
8tovs, Matting, Window Bhadst,
LINOLEUM, Etc
BILLIARD HALLS.
Occident Hotel Bar
EL Billiard Hall.
Tables New and Everything
First Class. .
,
Fincit brands of Liquors anil Cigars
MEAT MARKETS.
FRESH AND CURED MEATS
Whul'-anjf onJ IU-t!l-
Ships, Logging Camps and Mills Sgp-
pliid en Short Notice.
Liv 8toek Bought and Sold.
WASHINGTON MARKET
CHRISTENSEN A CO.
Central Meat Market
G. W. Morion A Jno. Fuhrmin, Prop'i.
CHOICEST FRKatI AND KALT
MEATS-PROMPT DELIVERY.
W2 Commercial St Phont Main 321
I.
RESTAURANTS.
KmsX-CLAs-S .MEAL
,v" wv '"'c VK v
?l.v.f,1a.
uougunuu, oc, ut u. Kesiaur
ant. 434 Bond St
BEST 15 CENT MEAL.
You can nlwavs fiml the lest
15-cent meal in the city at the
Rising Sun Restaurant
012 Commercial Sf
LAUNDRIES.
The Troy Laundry
Ths only whits labor laundry In the
eity' tfoM h, b,,t yvork M-"-bla
" "
' "
10th and DUANE Sts., Phone 1M1.
SCOW BAY IRON AND
BRASS WORKS.
Manufacturers of Iron, Steel,
Brass and lironze Canting.
General Foundry men and Pat.
ternmakera. Almolutcly first
clans work. Lowest prices.
Thone 3431, 18th and Franklin
.ilMM.,, BO -YEARS
TEXPERIENCB
a
It .
W i mm.-- Saauai
-jV Ocsiqns
Ml1 Covaicjhts Ac.
A nrone ndlng a kotr-h anil aaarrtntlon mar
"iilrilf aararlilu our opinlr.n free ajiiMhar aa
UnriH iitriHiVfViiintlmtl
varuum ia prinafM7 pnirMinnin. . omniunio
nl. HAHUUUUK onr-alcnte
sWiriL fmsa. tli)tsit mum r for ttmmttiiu umitmm.
I'ntflitu tJ.n ttimuih Munn A to rtcvlrt
fpfriai notice without chPif. In tli
Scientific Jltiiericaite
A handaomelr lllnatratMt waaklr. I.arraat rlr.
filiation tit any arianlloo toitriial, Tpriiia. ;i a
T"-nri tout monioa, tu aoiaDail nawaflanli
lr.
mKH X. V.ft 361Brosdwsy.
Hiwmi m wwi " iiu
Brftoot. Offlc. m f St. WMhtbtftun, I.
for unnatnrftl
nsimuialloaf,
r iikrs,tioiii
of mueoai tiimbrsi.M.
lalinlaUaI rn.fi A tint aatrln.
I'HEEVlMSCHCatiCal C. font or poison out.
. .J t'f apraa, praaaM, for
a v. 11. in plain wr.ratr.
SZZ.,m MEN ANO WOMEN.
aDBI i I'aaBlf f
laliaean.J dlarharmt.ln
Oaaraau U Irrllallana 01
r 1
aa. la mran.
Caalaataa
rg ei on.
Clrau
(I. r tinltlri tm.
Inserted
AT SEASIDE
Ths Morning Astorlan
Is on sals at
Lewis A Co. Drug Stora
and x
Morrison & Grteabaum'a
Cigar Stort.
IN PORTLAND
Ths Morning Astorlan
i
I for Me at the new stands of tit
OREGON NEWS COMPANY
, sittiHted at
HOTEL PORTLAND
U7 Sixth Slwt 123 Wxth Street
BROKERAGE.
C. J. TKENTIIAItl)
Real Estata, Insurance, Cammisslsti
and Shipping.
CUSTOM HOUSE BROKER.
Offlos 13) Ninth Strstt, N U Jystiss
Oftlo.
ASTORIA, OREOON.
HOTELS.
HOTEL PORTLAND
PORTLAND, ORE.
Finoit Hotel In tha NorthwssL
"PLACK8MITH&.
ANDREW - ASP,
Blacksmith.
Having Installed a, Rubber Tiring
Machine of the latest pattern I am
prtparsd to do all kinds of work at
reasonable prion.
12th and Duant 8ts.
WOOO YAROS.
WOOD! WOOD! WCOD!
Cord wood, mill wood, box wood, sny
kind of wood at lowsit priss. Kslly,
th transfor man. 'Phono 2211 Blaok,
Barn on Twelfth, oppoeiu opera
kaus.
PROFESSIONAL CARDS.
PHYSICIANS.
JAY TUTTLE, M. D.
rUYSIClAN AND SURGEON
Acting Aiim.iu surgeon
U.S. Marine HmplUtl Hvrvlea.
Offlcs hours: 10 to i: a.m. 1 to 4:10 p.ra,
477 Commercial Btreet, Ind Floor.
OSTEOPATHI8T8.
Dr. Kltotlu t:. Illi-lc. nr. J. K- an.vdr
OSTEOPATHS.
Offlt-t Mansell pd. phone Iilack 20
673 Commercial St., Astoria. Ore.
DENTISTS.
DR. 7; L. BALL,
DENTIST.
"U Commercial St Astoria, Oreson.
Dr. A'AUGIIAN,
Dk.ntist
Fytbian Building, Astoria, Oreirnn.
Dr. W. C. LOGAN
DENTIST
578 Commercial St., Shanalian Buil.linn
At Your Summer
Home
You'll
ture.
want light, airy
furni-
BAMBOO
Hull Ruc-kn,
Center Tables, etc., etc,
tre jnt the thing
Step in and Examine them.
teapot, cups and saucers, ice
cream dinhes, ete., In abundance.
"aBBBBBBaaaBBBBBBl
Yokohama Bazar
Commercial Btreet, Aatorl '
Circular anu I ua raituwt.