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About The morning Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1899-1930 | View Entire Issue (July 4, 1905)
0 r 2 "7 r t THE MORNING ASTOR1AN, AM01UA,ORK. atJESDAY, JULY 4, 1903. Vjg 4 THE MORNING ASTORUN CstablUhad 187S. Publixhed Dwily by HE J. t. DELLINGER COMPANY. SUBSCRIPTION RATES. By Mail, per year $7 00 By nail, per month . 60 By carrier, per month "J WEEKLY ASTORIAN. 1 mall per year, la advance . .11 00 Entered at tbt poatofflee at Astoria. Oregon a aeeond-cla matter. KVOrdws for the dtlminM rfTli HoaxiM AjnvniAH to rittwc nndnct or plare of Iwniar mj be made by pnoal card nr throorfc We Tbon. Any trrnruWity la cWiwy ahouM be tmmecweij reportoil to to one of pubucauoa. Telephone Main Ml. AFFRFXTATIOX OF HAY. MesapM lamenting the death of See wtary of State John Hay have been dis patched from all over the world to Mr. Hay and to President Roosevelt. Invar iably, the meape have referred to the dead secretary as the ""great, capa ble and humane statesman, whose deal) i a great los to civiliution.1 Among the signatures may be distinguished those of European sovereigns, the pres ident of several republics and men who j are most prominent in most walk of life. Since the assassination of Presi dent McKinley, the death of no man has occasioned so much lamentation. Mc Kinley, with hi utter abhorrence of pomp, his lovable personality and his thousands of kind acts endeared him self to the people of every country. In the hearts of the world's people he held a place, similar to that of Queen Vic toria. Although the tales of dolorous suffering of the Boers and the EnglUh soldiers during the South African war induced the majority to grow most bit ter toward England, the fact that Queen Victoria deplored the war and endear ed in every way to prevent it, or to al leviate the suffering, was widely known. This simple woman won her way to al most every heart Her loss was keenly felt. So was M'Kinley's. The press of the entire world, but voiced the senti ment of all people in erying out in hor ror at the cowardly way in which we were robbed of that magnificent man. Jbat Hay Is so universally appreciated Is largely due to his associations with President M"Klnley and with President Roosevelt He has figured prominently in every matter of international im portance. He was recognized as a finish ed diplomatist, his firm and straight forward management of affairs demand ed the respect which, with his death, has turned to love and awakens the world to realize it has lost the greatest man of the century, a man whose achiev ements eclipse those of the illustrious men be eervtd. o to purchase fire works. Ut Astoria's oWrvance of the Fourth to noisv in the extreme, let the detonation accom panying a great and continuous explo sion reverberate from valley to valley, from hilt to hill; let the people of our neighboring state across the Columbia know that Astoria is alive and very much to. There will be some fires, they are inevitable. We have a very efficient fire department which can easily control the small blaxes that can not be pre vented. If a fire of unusual proportions should occur our rititen are not adverse to becoming volunteers. If the boy is unsophisticated, take him out and show him the rope. 0 l p will go baby, and motor, and all." CONSENT J GIVE THE BOY A SHOW. All over the country, and even in our midst, vague apprehensions as to the possible loss of life accompanying a noisy observance of the Fourth of July have arisen. Some have endeavored to estimate the number of boys and girls that will suffer serious injury, and pos sible death, as a result of contact with what are termed "formidable explosives' Such predictions, but serve to recall that good and time-tried phase "when we were boys." Of the elders in this city has been denied the satisfaction tion of shooting fire crackers, toy pistols and cannon, and even straw-bombs. It is in such thundering atmosphere that the Young American revels. For a hun dred years or mroe every American boy has paid fitting respect to the occas ion of hig country's birthday. There have been some casualties, but because certain boys have suffered, through gross carelessness or disobedience, the great majority should not be robbed on an opportunity to enjoy the Fourth of July as others have enjoyed the day in the past. It is well to recall the words of President Roosevelt in his address at the Harvard alniuni banquet. The sub stance of his remarks was. to the effect that he has little use for the college man who was reluctant to enter the athletic field for fear of sustaining injury, or possibly spoiling his looks. The chief executive was rather vehement in his ridicule of such a man. His words may 1 applied to the American boy who misses the pleasure of shooting fire crackers because he might burn his fin ders. The boy who will not shoot every (ire ci acker he may lay hand on is not worth his salt. It may be, his parent has admonished him to refrain from indulg ing in Mich "dangerous" diversion. Let the parent picture the days when he was a boy, the days when he placed bombs under a barrel, powder in the old anvil or red heads under his dad's chair. Then he will not deny the boy a quarter, a half dollar or even a dollar with which Attention is diverted from the Chicago strike. In San Francisco a lawles band are denying the people the exquisite pleasure of reading very interesting (!) evening paper, the Bulletin, accord ing to the Bulletin. For some reason the Associated Press has failed to carry any telegraphic matter relative to this latest outrage. "The sun never sets on British soil," like John L Sullivan, is a has been. Nowadays every lip shouts," the sun never sets on American soil." With due resvcct to Taeoma, "watch the I'uitcd States grow." A New York clergyman is quoted as saying that the term "tainted money" has become a jet. It is a kind of a joke to realize that people refuse money, real money, hard gold coin, when it is j veritably thrown at them. A man named Johnson in San Francis co reports having passed a whale 1120 feet long, which was lashing the water furiously within 10 feet of one of the citv's largest docks. He states further that the breath of the monster per meated the air, and incidentally Mr. Johnson's nostrils, Mr. Johnson has probably forgotten that odors arising from his own innards have easy egress to his noetrjls. We have heard of men seeing squirmy things with big, green eyes but the vision vt Mr, Johnson cer tainly takes the prize, '- v Chicagoans have di-overed that the ground under some of their skyscraper is sinking. Some day they mad discov er that the foundations of their morals have been sinking, for a period, extend ing over a great many years. "Taft due here on Fourth," reads a head in the San Francisco Call. The secretary of war will be due to leave the "Bay City" about the same time if he should inadvertently allow advo cates of Chinese exclusion to interview Mm. ,;ii' ' , "The close-fisted San Francisco land lord who complained at the loss of gas which ran through the meter before the asphyxiated guest was discovered, will have his burden lightened in the future Not only will the Bay City be supplied with gas that can not kill those who en hale it, but it will also be given them at the rate of 25 cents per thousand feet With cheap gas in Seattle, San Fran cisco and Los Angeles, it would teem that something like reform along these lines was due in the vicinity of Port land," says the Oregonian. Yes, but is reform necessary? There is, at pres ent in the exposition city, a super fluity of "gas" (Lewis and Clark, met' ropolitanism, etc., and so far as we may perceive, not the slightest sign of con sumption. Regarding tne projier pronunciation of "chauffeur" the spoilers on the Trail at the Portland fair have mastered it If you hear one of these hoare-voiced expo sition followershout, "Come hyar, byar. right hyar. Steninclosehyar an' don't will that fat man let those six ladies take his place don't blockade the pat- sage way. You can go char down the Trail and hit 'er as hard as vou want but this hvar is the best show'fur "show'fur. " That pronunciation is ab solutely correct. The word is derived from "nure," meaning the inevitable and "fire," meaning something real wolim. Authorities do not explain the dis crepancy in the pronunciation. IN LIGHTER VEIN. X lie nana mat rockeu tne crauie Hush a by Baby, Up-to-date. Now turns a little switch, And swing-swing goes the baby To a regulated stitch. While the Singer keeps a-buzzing, With its busy little stitch, And mother sings as baby swings: Hush-a-bye, baby, in the whizz-cot, When the twitch turns the cradle will rock; When the fuse busts, it's baby' last call The current rocks the baby, And cools him with a fan. And shoots him through the Subway, When the baby grow a man; The motor oust the mother I'pon the modern plan, So mother ting a baby swing t Hush-a-bye, baby, in the whlu-cot, When the twitch turn the baby will rock. When the fuse bursts, it's baby' last esll- I'p will go baby, and motor, and all. The mother-care is wasted, What doe the work is juice, The current rear the baby, And love ha no excuse, For in this age electric A thing must be of use. So mother sings a baby swings; Hush-a-bye, baby, in the whiu-cot. When the switch turns the baby will rock. When the fuse bursts, it' baby' last call- I'p will go baby, and motor, and all. Wex Jones in X. Y, The foregoing from the pen of Wex I tired some months ago while Wo jand his good friend Colonel North, fig tired a -otrie months ago while Wex was associated with the Portland Ore- Jgonian. Wex and the Colonel occas ionally fell off the wagon. In these in stances they invarialy became involved in spirited arguments on topics of uni versal interest, one taking the pro ann the other the con, merely for the sake of arguing. In the midst of one of these discus sions they retired to the famous little Italian restaurant on Alder street, a few doors from the Oregonian uilding This plae is frequented by all Portland newspaper men, who, for some inconceiv able reason, have a failing for that elu sive delicacy called spagctta. Ordering portions, while waiting for the gluti nous substance to be prepared, Wex and the Col. continued their argument They made little progress, the honors, up to the time the spagetti was placed upon the table, being about even. See ing an opportunity to make his conten tion doubly impressive, grasping a hand full of the spaghetti, which, by the way, was smeared with inviting brown gravy and grated cheese, Wex plastered this upon the Colonel's physog' saying: "I tell you. Colonel, you old tosser, you re wrong. ' All undaunted, the Col onel, a man who substantiates the gen eral belief that English people are slow ' in their appreciation of American humor, sudJenly broke his platter of spaghetti over Wexford's cranium. "My word, Wex., old blighter, 1-1-I I think, y'know you yon you you'r, alt argument is a bit pre cipitous, y'know." "Tain't, Colonel," responded Wex, favoring his friend with another portion ' of spaghetti. The projrietor of the place ' an excitable Italian, rushed up, waving! his arms, like one bereft of reason! and shouting: j "Jentlemen, jentlemen, I tlnVa you make too mucha de messa. I aska youj to queeta this instant." "Why, who it this) beggar!" queried ing a pitying glance at the offending ing a pittying glance at the offending Italian. Wex threw the remainder of the spaghetti at the Italian. Not to he surpassed, OJie (.olonel joined iu the attack. Having painted the Italian a delightful reddish brown, Wex and the Colonel went out for otnetbing to eat. Editor Constipation and pile are twin. They kill people imh by inch, tap life away very day. Hollister' Rocky Mountatn Tea will positively cure you. No cure no pay. W cent, Tea or Tablet at Frank Hart' drug store, Sunday Excursion to North Beach, The Ilwaeo Railway and Navigation Company are selling round trip ticket every Sunday from Astoria to all point oa Long Beach, including Nth- Jeotta, at a rit of one dollar for the 'round trip. . THE ILLINOIS CENTRAL. Maintain unexcelled tervlee frorn th west to the east and south. Making .close connection with train of all ' trantiAntliiAriol tin.. - winr cnoice w route to nlcugo, Louisville. Nemphl and New Orleans, and through these points to the far east. Prospective traveler desiring Infor. matlcn aa to the lowest rat' nnd best routes are Invited to correspond with the following representatives: B. H. Tr.l'MM'LL. Commercial Agent. HI Third St.. Tortland. Ore. J. C LINI'SEV, Trav. Panm-nr r Agent. H2 Third St.. Portland. Ore. PAUL P. THOMPSON, pass'gr. Agent. Coleman IiuiKllriB. Fettl'.le. Wash. ! AZURE is a good color - FOR THE PORCH It i pleasing to the eye and will wear well on your porch furniture, too, being one of the products of the Pat ton Paiut Co., maker of the fa mous ..... PATTON'S SUN PROOF PAINT Per gallon 11.75 Half tallon go Quarter iillon 50 Most color are sold at thi price. A few are a little higher. Write or call for a descriptive folder, show ing color. We tell brushe of all kinds and all grades fur all kind of work. THE WORLD'S GREATEST CARTOONIST Homer Davenport sT vji 'pl 4v kmR& Will give one of his humorous talks at FISHER'S OPERA HOUSE Thursday. July 6th, at 8tl5 p.m. Admission 50ci Gallery. 25c. r B.F.ALLEN SON Wall Paper, Paint, Etc, 365-367 Commercial St., Astoria. The Astoria Restaurant. If you want a gool, clean meal or if you arc in a hurry you should go to the Astoria Restaurant This fine restaurant is thoroughly up-to. date in every detail. EXCELLENT MEALS. EXCELLENT SERVICE BENTON'S NEW VALVELESS GASOLINE MARINE ENGINE. Simple and Reliable. Latest Cut. HOMER DAVENPORT AND MASK HAfTNA. o JOfl JP'i T 'V :.V' I '! 'fr - , I -Y,, v (' 'V ' i f ft Uii Parti to Ctt Out of Order, Unrln Part. Mor Power with Um wdfht I'k Ltu GaioUiM, Indir Perfect Can. IroL Quiet Exhauil Any Spd from 100 lo 1000 rvolirtlM per minute. THORNBURG BENNETT Klzra 1 to 10 II. Kliifl Cjll'ider. Kizc n S, to 40 II. II., Double t Under. KNAPPT0N. WASH. P0LR CYLINDERS TO ORDER TO 1001 HORSE POWER. PRAEL 0 EIGNER TRANSFERIC0. Telephone 221. D RAYING 8 EXPRESSING LIVERY STABLE All good (hipped toourcare will receiTeepecIal attention. 709-715 Commercial Street. ASTORIA IRON WORKS JOHN FOX, Tree, and Suyt. F L UISI10P. Secretary A. L. FOX. Vice Pres. AHTOKIA SAVINGS DANK, Treaa Designers and Manufacturers of THE LATEST IMPROVED Canning Machinery, Marine Engines and Boilers, Complete.Canncry Outfits Furnished. CORRESPONDENCE SOLICITED. Foot of Fourth Street. Weinharcfs r Beer.