rlDAY, JVM f, igoj.
THE MORNING ASTOIUAN, ASTORIA, OREGON.
Bowser and
Simple Life
He Follow the Philosophy of, the
. Rev. Charles Wagner In Hii
New Mode of Living
AND NEARLY STARVES
Frugal Fare and Wife'i Dainty Meal
and Sue aim Strain Hi Self
Control to Limit.
(Copyright, IJOS. by T. C. MoClure.)
TI1K morning after Ir. Boweer
bad ruaju til mart to, live a
"simple life" after tb limn laid
dowu by ttie Itev. ('bail Wag
iiir ho wok aa hungry a a bear, aud
iixm hi descending to tlit dlnlug room
mid finding dluli of corumeal aud
jfttiM of water awiit'ug bliu nla fact
.! mod to leugtlieu out a foot longer.
It wouldn't do to go bark ou himself,
Iiowever. aud bo ut on a aiull aa n
at down and began to eat.
Mm Ilowser had provided tieraelf
with egg and bacon and rolli aud eof
fo aud lie nwulalljf mado up lila tnlud
(bat If be ever came to an eud of lila
simplicity he would make her heart
ache fur thn tantalising and defying
film at the aanit time,
"Are you going to wear time old
dud to the office" aba asked after
wbtle, seeing that he bad on the aame
old ault.
"tVrtnlnl.T." was hi reply. "Clothe
1o not make I lie man. The peoplo of
this lint Imi are paying out millions and
mi rm suddexlt wot oct tuou in-
1IH HIM.
mllllona of dollar a year for allka and
brosdcloths whan plsluer gooda would
do far better. I aball be aa consistent
In my dreaa aa In my eating."
"And bow about your lunch at
noonr '
"I ahall seek aomo restaurant where
I can get a glaas of milk and a crust of
bread."
"And our dinner tonight?"
"If you will kindly hare a baked po
tato and a rut from a atala loaf of
bread ready for me, It will be amply
sufficient. You can go ahead and gorge
yourself and die aa soon aa you pleaae."
Mr. Bowser bad a rather bad day of
It. When be got out to the corner
.be decided that consistency demanded
that be should walk Instead of taking I
the atreet car. He bad gone about
two blocka when bis feet auddenly
went out from under him, and he camo
down like a house. Before he could
remember the new role be waa play
ing be bad uttered about aliteen cuss
words, and aa be acrambled around on
the Ice a woman turned aside and at
tended him a band and aald:
'Toor old man! You don't look aa
If you bad bad anything to eat for
three or four daya, and those old
clothes won't keep you from freeslng.
I pity you, and yet I must warn you
agalnat that awful habit of awearlng."
Mr. Dowser refused her aid with a
grunt, but fire minutes later had an
other adventure. A grocer's wagon
IihiI stopped on the cross walk, and, for
getting that he waa "Simple" Bowser,
the pedestrian halted to exclaim:
"Here, you, boy drive on! Don't
.you know that you are blocking the
walk and that you could be arrested
iuxJU"
J. Q. A. HOWMIY. President
). 1. I'KTtKMON, Vice-President
Astoria Savings Bank
Capital Paid In 100,000. Surplus and Undivided Profit Ltt.000.
Transacts a General Bunking BuIdw. Interest Paid on Tim Deposits.
168 Tenth Street,
First National Bank
ESTABLISHED 1880.
Capital and Surplus $100,000
H -e"tl M
"VVuat'a struck you, old tramp?"
was tli Impudent reply of the I.
Mr. Bowser luid Juit drawn a fuU
breath to blast lilui after the old How
scrum fashion wlwn a policeman came
along and took him by the collar and
threw blm Into a snowdrift and called
after bun:
"That' the kind of a hair mat tress
you are looking for, you old fake!"
During the dsy he waa asked at
least twenty times If he bad been In
swimming and left bla good clothe
on the bank or If be bad made a
change and gone Into the old do'
business, and nothing but bla settled
determination to hang on to himself
prevented half a docen rows. At noon
he at the sort of luncheon be had
(tuscrltMxl to Mr. Bowser, and when
he started for home at fi o'clock he
wsa aa hungry aa a wolf. He depart
ed from bla rule and ook a atreet car,
but be bad cause to wish be hadn't
lie waa banging to a atrap and wab
bling about when be atepped on a
woman' foot, and, though be at one
begged pardon, ah faced him and
aald:
"I am constantly aaked to con trib
ute to charity aad told bow badly the
poor need money, and here I one of
you spending bla cash to rid la a
atreet car!"
"Madam, I have got my old elothe
en," replied Mr. Bowser "I bare got
uiy old clothes on because I bare start
ed out to llve"-
"Well, you start out of this!" ei
claimed the coudurlor a he took bis
arm and lod bliu to the rar platform
aud Jammed his back against the rail
ing. When Mr. Bowser readied bis own
gate he waa so mad that be waited a
moment to Jump up and down and then
kick at a passing dog, but he bad got
control of himself aud worked up a
smile a be entered the house. Mrs.
Bowser met blm aa usual and said:
"I have been thinking of you all day
long. It la very brave in -you to start
ant to live an entirely new life at your
age, und you can depend uikiii me to
encourage you In every possible way.
If I spoke dlscournglngly Inst ulglit I
am sorry for It, and It aban't happen
again. I have got your almplo dlnuor
ready for you."
So aho had. It waa a big potato
with Its Jacket ou, and It bad been
Imkliig all the afternoon. Beside tt
was a goblet of Ice cold water. For
her own dinner Mrs. Bowser bad fried
oysters, celery, suparagua, canned peaa,
biscuit and honey and fragrant tea.
Mr. Bowser looked over at It, with a
smile ou bis face, but In his heart he
said he would never forgive ber If be
lived a thousand year longer. The
smell of those fried oyster as they
were brought on to the table lifted him
a foot high, and the arouia of the tea
aud the sight of tuo clover honey made
blm wriggle around aa If he had struck
a tack. lie realised that It waa a put
up Job to hurt hi feeling, and be stiff
ened his heart aud ate and drank with
aucb gusto that Mrs. Bowser was al
most deceived.
She naturally asked bow be had got
through the day, and be naturally lied
Ilka a trooper when be aald that be
hadn't enjoyed himself so well In twen
ty years. lie even went beyond that
and aald be bad made four or five con
verts aud that be was thinking of going
out luto the country to live In a cave
and aubalat on roots.
Mr. Bowser lingered over bla dinner
aa long aa be could and aeveral time
expressed bla pity for the rich and
their Ignorance In overloading their
stomachs, and be smiled In a fatherly
way at the cook as they left the table
for the sitting room. When they were
seated Mr. Bowser aald:
"You are right about the theater.
It la no place for such simple people
as ua. You were also right about bot
any and natural history. I aent over
to the drug ator today for some roots
and herb, and we will now take up
botany. I bare also captured two cock
roachea and a house fly, and w will
put them under the mlcroacope and
atlck ptna In their backs and learn all
we can about natural blatory."
Mr. Bowser turned red In the face
and choked up. Never In all his life
before had be ao wanted to Jump up
and down and yell "Woman!" at her.
and never had he been ao handicapped.
"Is It your collar that'a choking you,
dear?" aollcltously queried Mrs. Bow
ser. "If I was you I wouldn't put one
on tomorrow morning when I got up.
It is a useless piece of dresa, anil the
day will yet come when the most fash
tonahle mnn will consider an old stock
in If tied around bis neck plenty good
enough for all purposes."
Tiioro, W4 yo Jyh"je.af an.ass Jy
FRANK PATTON. Cashier
J. W. UAKNKK, Assistant Cashier
ASTORIA, OREGON.
of Astoria, Ore.
"41 t""f In TTCf
Ing around for 'Mr, T.owser to slay
with, and ao he hud to smile and go
ahead with botany and natural history
and keep his wrath bottled up. He
was dissembling fnlrry well when Mr.
Bowser said:
"You brought home two bottle of
port the other day, and today when a
lady celled to tell me doout aeveral
ak'k families I gave ber the two to take
way. Of course you will bare no
further need of wine,"
"What!" he exclaimed.
"And I rigged a tramp out In one of
your suits nnd gave him acme extra
collars and cuff. lie waa very thank
ful, and when I spoke about bla turning
to a more simple life be aald he waa
going naked and live on burdock leave
uext aumtiier. He may call this even
ing to get some pointer from you."
"If be does I'll b banged If I donT-
"Wbat did you aay, dearl"
"I-I aald, my love, tbat If be called
I'd be glad to talk with blm."
"Yea, of course you wilt. I apok to
the man today about turning off th
fa. It'a a useless wast. Tallow
candle are plenty good enough for us.
Tb cook knows what to get for your
breakfaat. It will be bread soaked la
water and fried and a dish of codfish.
Are you going to take a walk before
bedtime, aa th put oral peopt of
Egypt need to dor
Mr. Bowser went out and walked,
n walked np and down, and the anow
flake flew and the wind bowled
around hla ear, and now and than b
but hla teeth together and hissed Into
the darknesa and the atorm:
"You Just wait, old lady: you Just
wait!" M. QUAD.
Hoi atasy .
Bug-It's no wonder tramps get tired
ao easy carrying a big thing Ilk that
around with tbera.-New York World.
"Owed" to Spring.
IN th early days of April,
Days of sunshine wet with rain.
Mother rallies all her forces.
Opens up the spring campaign.
First w carry out th sofa.
Dank It round with every chair,
Bedstead, bureau, mattress, table.
TU1 the house looks gaunt and bar.
Still w show no weak relenting
For the carpet still on floor.
And all dawn thing must com up
Ana d cameo out or doors. t
When th rooms are bare and empty,
"Tli th point where mother looms
I -art upon our near horlson '
Armed with race and mop and
broom.
Also pall of sospy water
And perhaps some air stacked Urn
Go to swell enthusiasm
In th glad house cleaning time.
Oh. the Joy of pasting paper
On the celling and the walls!
Oh. the sweet smell of the varnish
On the woodwork In the ballet
Oh, how nice to sort th cupboard
Where we keep our cures for Ills!
the lotions, powders, potions,
Liniments and salves and pills I
Now we eat our dinner standing
All around the kitchen range.
If we gt too tired on one foot.
Then w "make a little change "
With our lumbar muscles aching
And the bleeps like to crack.
With what Joyou looks aad actions
W begin to put thing back!
Oh. th gay and glad house cleaning;
All Its Joys I may not apeak.
I must save my breath and muscle
We expert to clean next week!
-Wallace Martin In Chicago Record
Herald.
A Chareb, Fare.
-Lealle'a Weekly.
ossethtas; Dolag Might Away.
"Oh, dear," aald Mrs. Spider to Mr.
Spider, looking dowa from her web on
th ahelf of U dry gooda ator, "I am
afraid that w have got to move."
'What's the trouble now, dearf aak
ed Mr. Spider In aurprlse. "W bar
lived with thla kind storekeeper for
many months."
"Yea, dear, I know we bare," aald
wm
lift)
tit -
PETITION OF TAXPAYERS.
To Move Desirable Candidate to Bud
For School Director.
To Hon. Ja. W. Welch:
We, the undersigned taxpayer, and
citizen of Astoria, school district No.
I, (.'hnsop county, Oregon, would re
spectfully reqiu.t you to run for direct
or of Nuiil dUtrict at the coming election
to le lifld in June, UK5.
Tliotnun IValy.
II. U. Cray.
I. C Afi'lcritun.
0. Anilcron.
George Kalxith.
John F.nberg.
C. J. Trenchard.
Mel Annate.
1. 8iveron.
Harrison Alien.
P. Lawler.
N. Schlussel.
R. Carruthers,
C. C. I'tzinger.
James J. Robinson.
R. J. I'illcington.
C. 8. Wright.
John Taikks.
Fred Lindstrom.
M. K. Anderson.
0. W. Pedersen.
James Tat ton.
J. W. Takkunen.
John Wuopio.
John E. Oatke.
Frank hart.
8. A. Crimre.
W. C. Shaw.
John Leahy. " ' " '"
D. Shannhan.
A. Srhcrneckan.
W. A. floodin.
Ben Hay. 1 "
M. Salvon.
C. Timmons.
Th. FreaVriksen.
Andrew $imonen.
Joseph Sinnott. '
Chsrle Unt. ' "
Peter Crtnt.
Thomas Campbell.
C. W. Morton.
U. F. Allen. '
J. H. Malar.
I Mantur.
J. Q. A. Bowlby.
A. E. Beaid.
Alex Drcmner.
Albert Wuopia.
Wm. C. A. Pohl.
Henry Sherman.
A. A. Sickau.
II. Ekstrom,
II. Wajo.
D. J. McVlcar.
B. Van Dusen.
J. T. Roa.
F. L Parker.
L Dieleman.
Asmus Brix.
J. W. Babbidge. ,
W. X. Smith.
J. C. McCue.
John Hahn.
John H. Smith.
A. B. Dalgity.
J. C. Clinton.
W. Aftherman.
S. C. Turner.
Samuel E. Elmore.
W. W. Ridehalgh.
Frank Patton.
C. W. Fulton.
A. V. Allen.
W. H. Copeland.
Clias. M. Celler.
A. 0. Spexarth.
Martin Foard.
Chas. Ileilborn. '
C. V. Brown.
A. M. Smith. '
J. W. Surprenant.
Alex. Grant.
P. A. Stokes.
Aug. Hildebrand.
T. R. Davie.
W. Werthe.
R. 0. Prael.
Benjamin Young.
W. Fitzgrald.
11. 11. Zapf.
C. H. Cooper.
W. L. Robb. ,
W. J. Sculley.
H. J. Wherity.
Charles Rogers.
Dr. Jay Tuttle.
A. A. Finch.
J. A. Fulton.
Alex Tagg. j
E. A. Gerding. . ,
J. S. Dellinger. '
V. Miller. V
Robt. Gibson.
Jos. Gribler.
T. S. Cornelius.
S. L. Nanthrup.
Theo. Josephson.
V. Hermann.
Wm. Seymour Short.
P. B. Sovey.
Theo. Bracker.
A. McPharlan.
0. C. Talmberg.
;i I
"The benefit
creator
sent the
germ
MEAT FOR DUCKLINGS.
Aatmal Feod !te-ranarr For Their
Karly Development.
In a recent experiment at the New
York agricultural station, planned to
bring out the effect and value of vari
ous quantities of animal food in the
rations, four similar lot of ducklings,
each of twvnty-eieht bird one week
old, were fed for ten week.
Two grain ration were used aa the
basis, one containing seven parts corn
meal, six part animal meal, four parts
wheat middlings and three part wheat
bran and the other composed of two
part Chicago gluten meal and one
part each of germ gluten meal and old
process linseed meal. These were fed
In varying proportions to the different
lota of duckling and were ao aupple
roented with animal meal and otter
foods that one lot received about 20 per
cent of the protein In tb ration from
animal food, the next lot 40 per cent
the next lot 60 per cent and th fourth
lot 80 per cent
Bone ash waa uaed In the ration
with smaller amount of animal meal
to prevent any possible deficiency of
mineral matter in any ration and to
avoid any great difference In amount
of ash, for tb animal meal contained
ao much bone that ration In which It
waa freely uaed bad a high percentage
of aah constituent. Thla bone ash,
which would be unnecessary for or
dinary feeding, added considerably to
the coat of the ration.
The result of the experiment show
that In the first month or so of the
duckling life a large proportion of tb
food can, with direct profit be of ani
mal product. With' 60 per cent of
aucb food In the ration the bird grew
more rapidly than upon any other ra
tion, while for the Brat month the coat
of production waa aa low a with any.
Aa the birds became larger the direct
financial advantage In using large pro
portions of animal food lessened and
finally disappeared. But the gain
which would result from the early at
tainment of marketable size still re
mained, for when the 60 per cent lot
would have weighed about 143 pounds
as prepared for market the 20 per
cent lot would have weighed only
125 pounds. The advantage of getting
birds ready for market quickly Is often
so decided that greater profit would
lie with the more costly ration. In this
case the heavier feeding of animal
products saved about two weeks' time,
or produced 15 per cent more of poul
try In the same time.
So far as this experiment goes It
1 seems that it will pay to feed freely of
animal toou during me nrst tnree to
five weeks and depend after that more
on Increasing proiorUons of the cheap
er grain foods. The exact proportions
most profitable to use and the best
form Of animal food to select will de
pend upon the relative cost of different
foods, the demand tor the product and
the price obtalned.-BulIeUn New York
Experiment Station. ' ' '
Feedlas tk CkieJk.
Wbea batching day 1 drawing near'
do not be in too great a hurry to count
the chicks. Let nature Attend to th
hatching process without interference.
After the chicks are hatched twenty
four hours give them their first meal,
which consists of rolled roats. I con
tlnue feeding thla for about two
months, giving them well baked John
nycake for a change. The formula
which haa given me good results I as
follows: Two quarts bran, two quarts
coarse cornmeal, one quart wheat mid
dllngs, one handful beef scrap, one
handful of chick grit I mix thla up
well with skim milk. Then I rub it in
to a crumbly mass and then bake
It
for about four and three-quarters
hours In a slow oven. Then I slowly
begin to feed them cracked corn. In
creasing It as they get used to It
never feed them soft feed, as It causes
bowel trouble. Cor. American Poultry
Journal
. Huge Task
It was a huge task to undertake the
cure of such a bad case of kidney di
seaae as that of C. F. Collier, of Chero
kee, la., but Electric Bitters did it. He
writes: "My kidneys were so far eone
could not sit on a chair without
cushion; and suffered from dreadful
backache, headache and depression. In
Electric Bitters, however, I found a cure
and by them was restored to nerfeet
nealth. I recommend the great tonic
medicine to all with weak kidneys, liver
or stomach. Guaranteed by C. Rogers
druggist, rdce, 50 cents.
THE ILLINOIS CENTRAL.
Maintains unexcelled service from the
west to the east and south. Making
close connections with trains of all
transcontinental lines, passengers are
given their choice of routes to Chicago,
Louisville. Memphis and New Orleans,
and through these points to the far
east
Prospective traveler desiring Infor
mation as to the lowest rat?s,and best
routea are invited to correspond with
the following representatives:
a H. TRUMBULL, Commercial Agent,
142 Third St., Portland. Ore.
J. C LIXDSET, Trav. Passeng'r Agent,
142 Third St., Portland, Ore.
PAUL a THOMPSON. Pass'gr. Agent,
Coleman Building, Seattle, Wash.
A Bad Scare.
Some day you will get a bad scare
when you feel a pain in your bowels
nd fear appendicitis. Safety lies in
Dr. Spaulding's New Life Pills, a suit
cure for all bowel and stomach dis
LOW EXCURSION SATES.
Ma Baltimore and Ohio Railroad.
Via Baltimore and Ohio Railroad.
From Chicago to Asbury Park, N. J., and
return, $21.35. Tickets good going Juno
29, 30, July 1 and 2, valid for return un
til August 31 by extension.
Stop-over at New York, Philadelphia,
Baltimore and Washington.
Through sleeping cars to Asbury Park.
Baltimore and return, $18.
Tickets good going July 2, 3 and 4.
Valid for return until August 31, by
extension. Stop-over at Washington.
The only line that operates through
trains. Send for circular to Peter
Ha way, Pacific Coast Agent, San Fran
cisco. B. N. Austin, G. P. A, Chicago
Consult your nearest ticket agent for
details.
Dying of Famine,
is ia its torments, like dying of con
sumption, Th progress of consumption
from the beginning to the very end, is
a long torture, both to victim and
friends. "When I had consumption in
its firrt stage," writes Wm. Myers, of
Cearfoss, Md., "after trying different
medicines and a good doctor in vain,
I at last took Dr. King's New Discovery
which quickly and perfectly cured me."
Prompt relief and sure cure for coughs
colds, sore throat, bronchitis, etc. Pos
itively prevents pneumonia. Guaranteed
at Chas. Rogers drug store, price 50c
and 11.00 a bottle. Trial bottles free.
Special Round Trip Excursion Rate
for Astoria Day at Lewis o Clark
Exposition Tickets sold June 8, 9
and 10.
On June 8, 9 and 10 the A. 4 C. R.R.
will sell excursion tickets from Astoria
to Portland and return at $2.70 tor toe
round trip, tickets good to return until
June 20, and to accommodate Astort
ans who desire to witness the evening;
exercises "Astoria Cay" ftt the fair,
the evening train of Jun 10 will leav
Portland at 10:20 p. m. instead of T.00
p. m.
S
AND PEELED
Suffered for One YearWater
Caused Agony, Heat Intense Pain
Grew Worse Under Doctors
Could Not Dq Any Housework
ANOTHER WONDERFUL
CURE BY CUTICURA
"About a rear ago my hands began
to crack and pL I tried many reme
dies, bnt they grew worn all the time.
At last tbey be
came so sore that
it was impossible
for me to do my
housework. If .
I put my hands in
water, I was in
agony for hours,
and if I tried to
cook over the stove, the heat ,
caused intense pain. I consulted a
doctor, but his prescriptions were
utterly useless. I gave aim np and
tried another, but without the least :
satisfaction. About aix weeks ago I ;
got my first relief when I purchased i
Cuticura Soap and Ointment. After ',
using them for a week, I fonnd to my ,
great delight that my bands were '
beginning to feel much better, the
deep cracks began to heal up and '
atop running, and to-day my hands
are entirely well, the one cake of
Cuticura Soap and one box of Cuticura I
Ointment being all that I used. '
(signed) Mrs. Minnie Drew, 18 Dana
St., Roxbury Mass."
ONE NIGHT TREATMENT
For Sore Hands and Feet
with Cuticura
Soak the hands or feet on retiring
In a strong, hot, creamy lather of
Cuticura Soap. Dry and anoint freely
with Cuticura Ointment, the great skin
cure. Wear on the hands during the
night old, loose gloves, or bandage the
feet lightly in old, soft cotton or linen. ,
Cuticura So Ofotnaiit, tat Pfllt an vild rhruuilxiut'
tht world. Ponw UruClMa.CrHilarny(.,oi(aa.
ST Sa luf H Hww It Out llcaiag, Seal HuMn.N
ANOTHER WONDER OF SCIENCE.
Biology k a Prve that DaadraC I
Caww4 ay a Gens.
Science I dontg wonder these days In
uedlclne as well aa In mechanics. Sine
Adam lived, th human rac ha boen
troubled with dandruff, (or which no hair
preparation has heretofore proved a sue-.
Kssful cur until Newbro's Herpklde was
it on th market. It Is a scientific prep
aration that kills the term that make
landruff or sourf by aigglni Into th
icalp to ret at the root of th hair, where
t taps the vitality; causing Itching scalp.
falUna- hair, and finally baldness. With-
yjt dandruff hair must trow hururtanuy.
It ta th only destroyer of dandruff.
Bold by leading druggista 8nd 10.
In stamp for aample to Tb Herat
eld Co., Detrn!f,