SUNDAY, MARCH 29, 1005.
- jtt . . -
THE MORNING ASTORIAN ASTORIA. OREGON.
4V;
THE MORNING ASTORIAN
Established 1873.
Pnbllnhed Pally (Except Monday) by
HC J. 8. OELLINGER COMPANY.
... SUBSCRIPTION RATES.
By null, per year , U W
By mall. per month 80
By carrier, per month
WEEKLY ASTORIAN.
By mall, per year, in advance ..II 00
Entered at the poetofflce at Astoria,
OrefOB as aecond-clasa matter.
arordar for the dverta of Tat Mowwo
Aaroaux to unr rwioooc or piarv m w
be BUkde by nontal ord or through (
raoM. Any trruWttT in Afltwy should be
Telephone Main (61.
Today's Weather.
Western Oregon and Western Wash
ington, Friday, occasional rain.
Eastern Oregon and Eastern Wash
ington, cloudy with occasional rain;
part snow in mountains and footballs.
V SABBATH DEVOTIOX.
According to the New York Post the
prediction lately made by a Chicago
minister to the effect that the only
way in which It would soon be pos
sible to maintain an Interest in church
work would be by means of "continu
ous vaudeville." startled A great many
conservative church-goers and possibly
shocked Some of them. However, the
stream of tendency seems to have set
lhor stronelv In the direction of a
fulfillment of this prophecy. Billiards,
ping pong, hops, amateur theatricals,
secular concerts, legerdemain, cha
rades, sociables, fairs and suppers.
primarily for the purpose of revenue.
music of doubtful sacredness if there
la a dividing line between the sacred
and secular In music: all of those have
come to be recognised as adjuncts of
more or less value in church work.
The underlying idea seems to be to
make the church an attractive social
club, and thus bring within its sphere
of Influence, many who value a church
connection at the outset chiefly for
the social opportunities It otters. It
would be difficult to find a serious ob
jection to this view of so much work
of the church as may properly' be con
aidered secular. There may be a line
which It would be dangerous to cross,
but where it lies would be as difficult
to determine as in the Alaskan bound
ary.
Perhaps the same is true of "stunts'
or "turns" introduced to give the in
terest of variety of Sabbath devotions.
For example, engaging an attractive
young woman in a pure white dress,
19 years old. to whistle solos, as is
said to have bn done by the pastor,
or music comm'.itee, or both, acting in
the harmonious conjunction which
should characterize all church doings,
of one of the New York churches,
startles the old-fashioned church-goers
by Its novelty. In the last analysis,
however, there would seem to be no
essential difference be-twen breath
from the sound lungs oozing through
puckered lips and wind from a bellows
of wood and leather hissing through
the reeds of a pipe organ In the bank
controlled by the piccolo stop. We are
used to the cornet as our forefathers
were to the bass viol. We have list
ened with equinamity to the operatic
prima-donna rendering selections
which have inspired very lofty emo
tions, when for the erratic wallings of
the Italian libretto, were substituted
modern hymns with some pretentions
to poetic excellence. We have learned
to march up the aisle and undulate
sideways into our pews to the solemn
minor cadences of one of Thlelman's
or Jadassohn's preludes, and waltz out
again when the services were ended to
the "Soldiers' March" in Faust played
with rag tiem variations, or choice se
lections from "El Capitan" or one of
Offenbach's classics. No doubt whist
ling girls dresBed in white, rendering
"Traumerel" or "The Mocking Bird"
ere the usual thing, we shall take then,
as a matter of course and wonder why
anyone should be so narrow in his or
her conventional prejudices as to ques
tion tbelr emminent fitness as adjunct
to devotion.
True, girls will have to learn to
whistle a good deal better than any
we have heard try In Astoria are able
to do, to be entirely agreeable aa en
tertainers, but that Is beside the point.
We have heard alleged singers of
whom the kindest thing which could
be said was, that they had missed their
vocation, but In the expressive vernac
ular of the day, singing goes in church
even when feeble and uncertain as to
intervals. For the same reason whist
ling may go when we are used to It.
Jt Is, after all, only another step toward
what has been pronounced Inevitable
worship by means of continuous vaud
evlle. It Is a notorious fact that fully as
many people attenJ the two vaudeville
theaters In Astoria as attend all the
churches. A show at Fishers opera
house on Sunday night plays to crowd
ed house. It is possible that were more
attractive features added to church
services, more mtght be attracted
thither, and when the church is filled
with publicans and, sinners, the min
ister can give them a little scriptural
advice, which. It Is possible they have
not listened too since they were chil
dren, kneeling at mothers' knees. It
would be an Innovation, certainly, but
as to whether It would be conflicting
with the theological etiquette of the
church, Is something which an ordi
nary layman Is not In a position to
venture an opinion.
MAN OF THE UNIVERSE.
fiin' nlaoe in the universe Is the
sublect of a recent article published
in a book. The sub-title of the book
describes it as a study of the scien
tific research In relation to the unity
r ninmtltv of worlds. Though the
books is from the pen of one of the
mit distinguished scientific investi
gators now living, it Is to be greatly
questioned whether the bussing swarm
of so-called scientists who subsist on
the credulity of the public will calmly
accept his conclusions, which are op
posed to most of the modern theories
and lnvestlons of the romancers who
disguise their calling under the name
of science.
In the first place, the conclusion of
teh author represent a reaction, we
have been surfeited with theories to
the effect that the planets all about
us are Inhabited, and It has not been
very long since there was considerable
talk of opening up communications
with the planet Mars. We believe Sen
ator John H. Mitchell once made ft ug
gestion of this kind: This was to be
accomplished by the means of Immense
bonfires or by means of electric sig-
.jnals gigantic In their proportions. We
are told that Mars has canals, and
that the form and contour of these
were such that they must Inevitably
have been made by artificial means,
and this Idea has taken such firm hold
on the popular mind that a number of
enerprlslng novelists have made trips
to Mars In their minds, and the ad
ventures to be found In that far away
land were of a nature to make thi
hair of a bronze statute stand on end.
But the conclusions of the authen
are entirely different, and although
they are not remanttc they are very
interesting. ' With all the resources
and discoveries of real science at his
command, he concludes that our unl
veres Is a rounded whole, and that our
polar system is situated In its center,
The concurrence of the conditions that
are a necessltv of organic life exist
on the planet, which we call the earth.
but they cannot very well exist on any
other planet, for their existence dec
pends on a central situation. The)
cannot exist In the neighborhood Of
any other star than our sun, nor on
any planet revolving around the sun,
except on the one which providence
has placed us.
A planet to be the seat of life must
move In a nearly circular orbit, and at
such a distance as to receive exactly
the amount of heat and light that ours
receives, and its atmosphere must be
formed of a combination of oxlgen and
nitrogen In tlte proper! proportion
Gravity must have the same force on
the surface of the planet that ours has,
for, were It otherwise. It could not re
tain the amount of atmosphere at the
proper pressure. Moreover, aqueous
vapor must be present In quantities
sufficient to produce the right amount
of rain. In short, a no other planet
conforms to these conditions, life can
only exist on the earth.
All this agrees with the discoveries
of real science, but It puts an end to
the theories of the pseudo-scientists
who have been so Industrious In In
venting sensations, resembling yellow
journals. Yet it should not be forgot
ten that neither author, nor the small
er fry can ever have any absolute
knowledge about our universe except
that which Is before our eyes or within
the reach of their experiment; and
even with these limitations tney can
give no very definite account of things.
there may be a blot on your own char
acter that you would desire effaced.
What would be your feelings If others
gosstped about you? Even you would
not like to be held up to ridicule by
your neighbors and you ought to be
as Just to others as you would ask
justice for yourself.
o
OUT OF THE ORDINARY.
The navy department has contracted
for 200,000 pounds of frankfurter, 145.-
000 pounds of sauer kraut and 90,000
pounds of bologna. That should smoth
er any smoldering German criticisms
for a little while.
"Did you tell the landlord what an
awful leak there was In the roof?"
"eYs, I told him."
"What did he sayT
"He said he'd fix the roof as soon as
yon pay the rent you owe."
"Did he? I guess It atnt much of a
leak."
An Alabama weekly exchange has
the following:
"In the 32d year of his age In the
very prime of noble manhood; stand
ing like a giant oak among the smaller
trees of the community, loved by all
mankind for his brilliant qualities for
his kind heart his keen Intellect his
strict Integrity; honored and blessed
by rlgh and poor alike, the friend of
the widow; the father of the father
less, he presents his name to te voter
of this commonwealth as a candidate
for office."
And we thought, when we began a-
reading, that the poor man was dead
and the editor was writing his obitu
ary.
AN OBNOXIOUS ELEMENT,
There Is a certain element In ever;
small community who peddle goslp
about their neighbors, or some one to
whom they have taken a dislike. The
effect of this is to belittle others, or
injure their reputation or business.
This practice has become chronic with
some people, while others do It unin
tentionally, but the effect Is the same.
A person can defend himself against
a seen foe, but It Is Impossible to ds
f;nj one against the sting of a viper.
Some people who take a great Interest
In other people's affairs, to the extent
of peddling scandalous tales or idle
gossip, should look In the mirror and
see If their own lives are free from
criticism. "Let him that Is without
fault cast the first stone," Is an ad
monition of He who came Into the
world to better mankind. It is sot
justice, It Is not Christianity; to try
and Injure a neighbor. The Master
taught the golden rule, . To him that
had transgressed the law He did not
utter words of contempt, but blessed
him and sent him on his way with,
"Go, and sin no more." These would
be good rules for those prone to gos
sip to follow. Consider that when you
are discussing the faults of others.
Epitome cf Anneodotee and Incidents
With Comments By a Leyman.
While Easter Is still a long way off
it Is a brave husband who can pas a
millinery shop without a tremor.
Mr. Powle says he can raise the
dead, but he does not do so, nrobnbly
becaues the sheriff keeps him busy all
the time trying to raise money.
A religious sect In Indiana Inalats
that the world will soon come to an
end. Indiana politicians are beginning
to feel that way, too, since Governor
Hanly has refused to appoint to office
any man who drinks liquor.
Saint Peter has all this time had a
vacant seat of honor reserved for the
man who was never a weather knocker.
A Chicago physician has prescribed
V MfUUl-'aiBU un nil cvtj uJ ,')ritftri
for the masses. Here's another one
that believes all he reads about pros
perity.
The government wants an agrostol-
osist. The name has an abstract sound,
but It means a person who has for
gotten more than a cow ever knew
about grass.
An Astoria young married man was
seen hurrying along the street carry
ing a big paper bag on Thursday.
Somebody asked him why he was
in such a hurry:
"I've Just bought a hat for my wife,"
he replied, "and I want to get home
before the style changes."
An expedition Is being fitted out at
Christina, Sweeded. to find the nmg
netlc pole. Somebody ought to tell
Ole Oleson that Morgan got that long
ago.
0ONT
Neglect to Inspect our "swagger" stock of Clothlngffor sprlti
DUiu tornan oruoy
rs
HhJTwIkmI
The Man
Who is fond of good
clothes is the man we
like to see come into
onr store. Once he
tries on one of our
easy, neat fitting,
double or single breast-
sale - - '
sure
$10.00
to
530,00
J
The Boy
Who ia fond of gar-
tucnts that is "chock"
full of style, and qual
ity to withstand the
strain that a boy full
of life and vigor is
bound to put them to,
will be delighted with
such clothing as 'we
are showing
52.00
to
$13.00 &
Strikes Hidden Rocks.
When your ship of health strikes the
hidden rocks of Consumption, Pneu
monia, etc., you are lost, If you don't
get help from Dr. King's New Discov
ery for Consumption. J. W. McKlnnon
of Talladega Springs, Ala., writes: "I
had been very 111 with pneumonia,
under the care of two doctors, but was
getting no better when I bgan to take
Dr. King's New Discovery. The first
dose gave relief, and one bottle cured
me." Sure cure for sore throat, bron
chltls, coughts and colds. Guaranteed
at Chas. Rogers' drug store, price 50c
and 11.00. Trial bottle free.
WE DRAW
THE LINE
When it comes to selling "cheap
goods" because "v.h-up goods" are high
at any price. That Is the policy of
mall order stores, but we do sell good
substantial goods, cheap. Next time
you are mailing your order to some
Portland Department store, stop In ana
price us be glad to show you and
quote our prices, then If we are not as
cheap or cheaper than Portland Just
mall your order in the mall box outside
the door. That's all.
J. N. GRIFFIN
Every garment guaranteed to give entire satisfaction or your money refunded
P. A. STORES
KEEPS A DRESSY SHOP FOR DRESSY MEN.
PERSONAL MENTION.
C. C. Masten of Svensen was In the
city yesterday.
Thomas Craine of Urookfleld was In
the city yesterday.
V. W. Preston of Warrenlon was In
the city yesterday.
James Armstorng of 8vensen was In
the city yesterday.
George Reed of Portland la regist
ered at the Central.
Fred Itlalsdell of Gluey was a visitor
In Astoria yesterday.
her husband yesterday, who Is con
fined in the hospital.
J. W. Walace and wife of Boise are
visiting In the city.
Miss Edith Putts Is spending a few
Ways visiting In Portland.
Geo. Hannlgun of the Cathlamet Sun
was In the city yesterday.
B. Donley of Portland was In the
city yesterday on business.
W. J. Wlrtz of Grtsham Is In the city
the guest of M. II. Pomeroy.
Captain Larsen of Altoona was In
the city yesterday on business.
C. C. Dalton of Seattle was In the
city yesterday on legal business.
C. E. Smith, principal of the Olney
school was In the city yesterday.
W. E Tallent returned from a busi
ness trip to Portland last night.
A. A Slegerston, the Warrenlon clam
man, was in the city yesteraay.
John C. Manclet returned from a
business trip to oPrtland last evening.
Judge W. R. Hume returned yester
day from a business trip to San Francisco.
Captain A. E. Beard, who was taken
111 Thursday, was able to be out yes-terday.
John Lament, a prominent seiner
from up the river, was In the city
yesterday.
Captain William O'Brien and bride
have returned from their wedding trip
to Puget sound.
8. F. Chesshlre of Grants Pass, a
brother of Jess Chesshlre, Is In the
city on a visit
Mrs. C. W. Fulton has returned from
Washington and the senator returned
oh last night's train.
Mrs. Merrill of Skamokawa visited
George Hamilton of Cathlamet was
In the city yesterday.
Mrs. S. W. Smoth, who has been
visiting her sister, Mrs. George M. Mc
lirlde, returned to Portland yesterday.
Roses
Finest varieties.
Strong field grown.
2-ycar-old plants.
Delivered by Exprest, charges paid,
THE SIBSON ROSE NURSERIES.
u8o Milwaukee A v., Portland, Ore
Send 2c stamp for catalogue.
First National Bank of Astoria
ESTABLISHED 1886
Capital and Surplus ' $100,000
JAP-AoLAC
THE MODEL FINISH FOR
FLOORS, WOODWORK,
METALWORK AND
FURNITURE.
Wears LJke Iron.
B. F. ALLEN SON
The
Palace
Cafe.
The Best Restaurant
2t
t ..ir f i - i if
jk vijr iiuug iuv. iuaiaci 1UUIU3 ,
Sunday Dinners aJSpecialty.
7
Palace CaterinCo.
Occident Hotel Bar
(a Billiard Hall.
Tables New and Everything
First Class. y
Finest brands of Liquors and Cigars.
mm
A few that I would like to call your
attention to; One Is that Frank Hart
keeps L
Liquozone, - Vinol,
And All the Standard Patent Medlolnet
and another Is that he Is stl.l selling
White Pine Cough Syrup In 2So and
60o bottles the same as In the past
five years, non't forget the Diamond
Shuped Bottle.
FRANK HART, Dm&ist.
Corner 14th and Commercial Bit
ASTORIA IRON iWORKS
JOHN FOX, Pres. and gupU
F. L. BlBUOr, Secretary
A, I FOX, Vice f resident, ,
AHT0K1A BAVIMtlH DANK, Treat
V Designers and Manufacturers' of
THK LATEST IMPROVED
CANNING MACHINERY, MARINE ENGINES ANDj BOILERS.
COMPLETE CANNERY OUTFITS FURNISHED.
CORRESPONDENCE SOLICITED.
Foot of Fourth Street,
ASTORIA, OREGON.