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About The morning Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1899-1930 | View Entire Issue (March 14, 1905)
4 THK MORNING ASTORIAN ASTORIA. OKKf.ON. TUESDAY, MARCH 14, 1905. THE MORNING ASTORIAN Established 1873. PuMlahta atly (Eiofpt Monday) by HE J. S. DELLINGER COMPANY, SUBSCRIPTION RATES. Br mail, pr year it 00 By mall, per month SO By carrier, per month 60 WEEKLY ASTORIAN. By malL per year, in advance 00 Entered at the postoflke at Astoria, Oregon aa second-class matter. tSfOrders for the d4iTrtng- of Ths Morxixo Aaraau to eithor refalmcw or dUk ( biuinMs duty be made by poatal card or through t?- raoM. Any mvfrulanty la oxnrery ahouid bp Immediately reported to the office of publication. Telephone Main M1. Today's Weather. Oregon and Washington Occasional rain; brisk, south to west wind. - TORRID IS TILLAMOOK. The suplhuric monstrosity, endowed With neither genius or brains, nor power of discernment between new and calumny, who prsldes with braz en effrontery over the Tillamook Head light was afflicted with perspiration under the collar last week. The As torian published a statement of truth, founded upon facts relative to obsolete news Items appearing in that cesspool of journalism, obtained In the usual way of editing that, publication the pastepot and scissors, to which the Irridiscent ass takes exception. It is the truth that always hurts Tilla mook seems to be afflicted with an epi demic, bubonic plague and is so un fortunate as to have in its midst a petrified old crank. In human form, devoid of brains and who immagines that he Is the whole push. These pes tlfeiious old warts on the face of na ture are quarrelsome, meddlesome, cranky scumgullions. This cipher of Journalism Imagines that he has great power and Influence In the bailwick where he dumps his offal each week through the columns of the Headlight when as a matter of face he has about as much influence as a maggot in the carcass of a dead mule, but not as much brains. Darwin in his work on the "Origin of Man" claimed that man descended from the monkey and produced many plausable statements in proof of his assertion. Had this great political die tator of Tillamook been known to Dar. win at the time, the author would have had a good subject upon which to base his statements, and he certainly must have had some such an individual In mind when he wrote the book. Such a calamnity cry comming from a man whom we have no evidence had ever taken a bath or change his shirt since associating with respectable people was enough to frighten a marble cat- tydld into convulsions, and the entire population of Tillamook from the maj or to the wingless buzzard who is dis satisfied with everybody and every thing. The Astorlan would not Intsntlonally wound the sensibilities of those earn est but ignorant souls who Imagine that they possess journalistic ability, but the car of progress cannot roll for ward without crushing an occasional viper. The practice of fencing a na tion with a few wildeyed prophets, or sending a single soldier forth armed with a hatr-trigeer hoodoo and the jawbone of a defunct Jackass to drive great armies into the earth. graduall fell into disuse. When the priest of Baal were At route to Moab's capital, for cursing purposes, an angel tried to withhold him, and even his burro hucked him; but the angels nor bur roes are exempt from the law of evolution. In Tillamook when this im mltation of a burro lets slip a roast at those who presume to question the su pernal wisdom of his crwd or politics the angels are supposed to flop their wings until heaven is filled with flying feathers, while every blatant j;ukass who takes his spiritual fodder at that particular rcik unbraids his ears and brays approvingly. It Is amusing to sr-e these little bl peds straddling painfully to purify the town and its Inhabitants. These microbes actually Imagine that the world, sun, moon and stars were made for their special benefit, Just as the fleas on a cur dog suppose the canine was created for their comfort. And all of this tinw? this behoofed and be honed devil with leathery wings, firey nostrils and prehensile tall with Jave lin point, a kind of unholy cross be tween a Pasiphean mlnotaur and a prohibition mugwump resembling nothing in the heavens or earth, or the waters underneath the earth, un less it is the prohibition platform is going to and fro through the classic precincts of Tillamook seeking new Joba to afflict with festering sores and fool. Mends, for what purpose heaven only knows. Did the great creator of it all come down to earth and flicker In the bushes as a tire, exhibit himself for the de lectatlon of the elders of Israel and spend 40 days chlssellng laws on tab lets of stone, when he could have traced them In letters of flames across the firmament? Was this Tillamook Imp of darkness created In the hung of his maker? Co too, thou wrethod babbler and put thy gall In pickle. Pour thy stories Into the dull ears of the ancient dames of Tillamook, but tempt not the righteous ImllKnatlon of reasoning men. Medical experts claim. that the move you poke a polecat the worse the odor emitted, and the As- torian has no idea that this disserta tion devoted to the Infantile Itch bac celus of the Tillamook Headlight will result in his removal. He will continue to mind everybody elses business but his own and continue to stir up strife and dissension among the people of Tillamook until the angel of death with piteous philanthropy removes this barnacle from this vale of tears to the place not made with hands where h will never need an overcoat. A man that espouses the cause of prohibition and ships whisky In for his private use labelled "dry goods," and whose office smells like a distillery in the Tar flats of London, is a wolf in sheep's cloth ing. The editor of the Tillamook Head light Is the cube root of a vacuum, the net product of nothing. PEOPLE ARE COMING. According to the dispatches from Portland, a large number of eastern visitors, settlers and home seekers an. Arriving In Portland every day. They are met at the train. and at the hotels by representatives from eastern Ore gon and the Willamette valley towns. provided with literature descriptive of the various locations, and are located on lands and farms in various sections of the state except In Clatsop county. Nearly every county In the state has a supply of literature pertaining to the many inducements offered by various locations for intending investors, and these are distributed at the trains; frequently on the trains before they arrive In Portland, and from this evi dence of the general prosperity of the state, many of them are located in the various cities and counties except in Clatsop county. At Seattle, Tacoma, Spokane, Ever ett and all progressive cities have commercial organizations who are working to secure eastern settlers, in vestors and immigration for their var ious localities and they have an abund ance of literature, corwpicous among which are copies of the home news papers published In the cities and towns of the state, containing write ups and descriptive matter of the var ious localities, but there are no east ern or California publications, nor the Overland Monthly distributed, as ex perience has demonstrated that peo ple looking for locations are guided more by the home newspaper than by paid write-ups in obscure magazines except In Clatsop county. The advertisement contracted for In the Overland Monthly does not appear until June, and by that time, a large portion of Intending settlers will have arrived and secured good locations. After that time the people arriving will be mostly those who come to visit the fair and not with the intention of lo cating. To Induce these people desir ing to change their place of abode all the transcontinental railroad compa nies announced special excursion rates effective March 1, and thousands of people are now availing themselves of the advantages offered. These facts were known in every city and county in the state except Clatsop county. When the Lewis and Clark fair pro ject was first launched and the state had appropriated money for it and the United States government had appro priated money for It, the various cities and towns, through and by the efforts of Its commercial organlzatons com menced to prepare literature advertis ing the resources and grand possibili ties of their localities and a Iargt amount was placed In the hands of th advertising bureau of the board of managers of the fair and Judiciously distributed with the result that thou sands of people are beginning to pour into Oregon and will find homes In various localities except Clatsop county. In addition to this nearly every county In the state has secured spare. where the products of the various sec Hons will be on exhibition at the lwls and Clark fair, showing the wonderful products of Oregon; its grand natural advantages; healthful ness of climate; picturesque mountain scenery, natural resources, yet undeveloped, affording homes on Its fertile plains, in Its beau tiful valleys and on its mountain sides where crops never fail and where then- is an established market for every thing that can be produced, offering Inducements to home builders and cap Italists, where there are no droughts, no floods, no blizzards, no nine months winters, but in one of the most salu brious climates in the world where na ture assists the farmer In making a living; where good schools arid churches abound and where Its hos pitable people welcome every new comer except Clatsop county. Had the county court, or the mer chants association or the Push Club realised that Clatsop county would not have bevn represented Ht the fair, re lying on the chamber of commerce to attend to the matter, or had they known that life was so nearly extinct In that ancient relic, they certainly would have taken steps to not onl had A suitable exhibit at the fair, but they "would have seen that sufficient suitable advertising matter had been prepared for distribution in the same manner as is being done today by other cities and counties. There Is an abundance of public spirit In Clatsop county ami there are Just as enterpris ing business men and property owners and the county can not be excelled by uny other county In the state for na tural advantages or In Inducements tc offer to Intending Investors, but they have been handicapped by an orgiinl i.itlo that has grunted its last grunt, passed Its last resolution and 'all that remains Is for the funeral obsequies. and the laying to rest of an organiza tion that has passed more resolutions than congress and accomplished less than any similar organization on the coast. 0 O(000000000000 WiifcWOOX) O I 1 I o DOING THEIR DUTY. Scores of Astoria Readers Are Learn ing ths Duty of th Kidneys. To filter the blood la the kidney's duty. When they fall to do this the kid neys are sick. Backache and many kidney ills fol low. Urinary trouble, diabetes. roan's Kidney Pills Cure them all. J. ltlake, whose place of residence is 525 Market street. Portland, says: "I bought several boxes of Doan's Kidney Pills and 1 scarcely think If the first had not proved satisfactory that I would have tried the second and third. I had used almost everything said to be a cure for weakened kidneys and bladder, but nothing ever gave rne the satisfaction I received from Doan's Kidney Pills. They are easy to take, have no effect upon the stomach or bowels and act directly on the kid neys. I thoroughly believe from the, results I received and also from obser vation that Doan's Kidney Pills are one preparation on the market which acts directly as represented." Emphatic endorsement can be had right here in Astoria. Drop Into Chus, Rogers' drug store and ask what cus tomers report. For sale by all dealers. Price cents. Foster-Mllburn Co., Buffalo. N. T., sole agents for the United States. Remember the name Doan's and take no other. 10 if &f" f Copyright ! 904 by Hart Schaffner Marx Our First .Showing' OF Spring' Clothing'. Stokes vSays Young man don't neglect your personal appear ance when we bring such tailors as HART, SCHAFFNER $ MARKS and CR0USE & BRANDAGEE to your very door, you may say, to make you a suitjthat has all the finishing touches that go into swell City Tailoring of the higher order, at one half their price REMEMBER. 9 I 0 9 9 9 0 9 9 9 9 o x 030 00OS0OO0 00 00000&0e0 I P. A. OTOKES KEEPS A DRESSY S"HOP FOR DRESSY MEN. It was a scramble to gain admit tance at the Star last night, Manager Gervurtz being compelled to lock the doors at both performances and hun dreds were turned away unable to gain admission. This shows what a first class performance will do. The box ing midgets were the princip.il attrac tion and they brought down the nous, in repeated encores in their versatile display of the manly arts, rney are certainly wonders and their exhibition the best ever witnessed. Hansen & Drew, the comedy sketch team In "Hrenklng up Housekeeping." k"pt th audience convulsed with lauKhter and are the best team ever In the city. Mons Silvano, the musical artist, came In for a share of the applause and his efforts were appreciated. The bill at the Star this week Is above the aver age and must be seen to be appreciated. rill I am compelled by a sense of gratitadi to tell you the great good your remedj has done me in a case of Contagious Blooc Poison. Among other symptoms I was se verely afflicted with Rheumatism, and got almost put going. The disease got a firm kold upon my system; my blood was thor oughly poisoned with the virus. I lost in weight, was ran down, bad sore throat, eruptions, splotches and other evidence! of the disease. I was truly in a bad shape when I began the use of S. S. 8., but the persistent use of it brought me out of my trouble safe and sound, and I have the courage to publicly testify to the virtues oi your great blood remedy, S. S. S., and to recommend it to all blood-poison suffer ers, sincerely believinir if it is taken ac cording to directions, and given a fair trial, it will thoroughly eliminate everj pamcic or me virus, i amf.s cubaajt. Stark Hotel, Greensburg, Pa. Painful swellings in the groins, red erop' dons upon the skin, sores in the mouth ind loss of hair and eyebrows, are some of the symptoms of this vile disease, S, S. 8. an antidote for the awful virus that ttacks and destroys even the bones. 5. 8. S. contains no Heronry, Potash or ther mineral ingredient. We offer Jl.ooc for proof that it is not absolutely veget able. Home treat ment book giving the symptoms and other interesting and valuable Infor mation about thii disease, mailed free. Our physi cians advise free those who write . fbe Swift Specific Company, Atltita, fit. THE STAR THEATER Astoria'! Fashionable Vaudeville house In eonneotton with Star and Ar cade theaters of Portland. Change of Program Monday. Change of Aete Thursdays MATINEE DAILY AT 2t P. M MONSTER BILL Week Beginning March 13. The WASHER I1ROS. Renowned and Original Midgets Boxing MOS. SII.VANO The Musical Artist and .Shadow-prapher Comedy HANSKN & DKKW Sketch Artists In 'JireakliiK I'p Housekeeping." THK Vol.Tu.NS L'reniler Acrobatic Introducing Mltle Fern Pictured Melodies by ROB KEN YON "Roys Are Coming llome Today.' Projectoscopc Showing the follow ng subjects: Taking a Fort Again; Corean Execution; Jjist Attack on Hill; Surrender of Port Arthur. Admission 10 cents to any seat, We stand back of everything we sell. You'll find our goods wholesome strictly pure and clean, and you'll find our prices low. You'll always buy here if you once make the start. ASTORIA GROCimY. First National Bank of Astoria ESTABLISHED 1886 Capital and Surplus $100,000 JAP-AoLAC THE MODEL FINISH FOR FLOORS, WOODWORK, METAL WORK AND FURNITURE. Wears Like Iron B. P. ALLEN SON Courteous treatment, an abundance of amusement, together with a line of all popular brands of liquid refresh. ments, has made the LaTosca a popu lar resort Agonizing Burns, are Instantly relleveJ, and perfectly healed by Bucklen's Arnica Salve. C Rlvenbark, Jr., of Norfolk, Va writes; "I burnt my knee dreadfully; that It blistered all over. Bucklen's Arnica Salve stopped the pain, and healeJ It without a scar." Also heals all wounJs and sores. 25c at Chas. Rogers, druggist Grave Trouble Foreseen. It needs but Httlo foresight to tell that when your stomach and liver are badly affected, grave trouble Is ahead unless you take the proper medicine for your disease, as Mrs, John A. Young of Clay, N. T., did. She says: "I had neuralgia of the liver and stomach, my heart was weakened, and I could not eat. I was very bad (or a long time, but In Electric Bitters, I found just what I needed.for they quickly relieved and cured me." Best medicine for weak women. Sold under guarantee by Chas. Rogers, druggist, at 50c a bottle. The Best Restaurant. The " Regular Meals 25c. PgkJgQ Everything the Market Affords. Sunday Dinners a Specialty. Cafe. Palace Catering Co. Tin your faith to us. We will sup ply you with the best and freshest quality of drugs and druggist's sund ries that your money can buy. Just now we would call attention to the sals of Fine Toilet Soap Which hns quality ns tti keynote. Here are a few samples of the good! values your money will buy: Conte'a Imported Cnstlle Soap, 8Go a bar; fancy Toilet Soal from 25o to lOo a box. FRANK HART, Draggist. Corner 14th and Commercial Bta, ASTORIA IRON WORKS JOHN FOX, Pres. and Rupt. r.l. HIHIIOP, Secretary A.UFOX, Vice iTealdent. AMTUKIA SAVINOU BANK, Treat Designers and Manufacturers of f THK LATKBT IMPROVED CANNING MACHINERY,. MARINE ENGINES AND BOILERS COMPLETE CANNERY OUTFITS FURNISHED. CORRESPONDENCE SOLICITED. Foot of Fourth Btreet, . - . '. . ASTORIA, OREGON. 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