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About The morning Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1899-1930 | View Entire Issue (Feb. 8, 1905)
TIIE MORNING ASTORIAN, ASTOKU, OREGON. WEDNESDAY, FEIRUARY I, 1801 PROOFESSIONAL CARDS. r JAY TUTTLE, M. D. 5 PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON i 4 etinf AMtsuot Buiveea C.S. Mwiu Hospital Servlt. , tXBce hours: 10 to It a-m. t to : 10 p.m ' T7 Commercial Straet. tnd Floor. ! Dr. RHODA C. I1ICKS I OSTEOPATIIIST ManstU Bldg. S?S Com mere 11 8t PHONE BLACK . C W. EARR, D. D. 3. Ha Opened Dental Parlor In Rooms 117-818, The Dekum. - PORTLAND. . . OREGON. Where ho will b ploaaod to moat friends and Patrons. f Dr. VAUGHAN, Dentist it Pythian Building.', Astoria, Oregon. i OXWi& IX)GAKC J i T3 Commercial St., Shanahan Building t MISCELLANEOUS. . JAPANESE GOODS i New stock of fanCv; goods just Arrived at Yokohama iJazar. all and seejthe latest novelties vm Japan. ' C. J. TRENCHARD Real Estate, Insurance, Commlaaion i ana onippina. I CUSTOM HOUSE BROKER. Office 133 Ninth 8treet, Next to Juatioa V Office. ASTORIA, OREGON. , BEST 15 CENT MEAL. You can always find the best 15-ceut meal in the "city at the Rising Sun Restaurant I .. 612iCommercial ISL FIRST-CLASS MEAL for 15c; nice'eake, coffee, pie, or doughnuts, 5c, at U. "S. Restaur ant - 434 Bond St WOOD! , WOOD'v v WOOD Cord wood, milt wood, box wood, any 'Wnel of wood at lowest prioee. Kelly, ho transfer inan.C 'Phono 2211 Blaok, Barn on Twelfth, eppoaito opora house. .. , ... f ; t, . . . BAY.JVIEW HOTEL " ,- E.&GLASER, Prop.. $ - f ' - ,: T ' . IjOfflt Cooking. Cmforublt8tdi. Reason able RUj"ndJNictJTrttmiit ' ASTORIA HOTEL Comer Seventeenth and Duanc St. 75 cents a day and up. Meals 20 cents. Board and lodging $4 per week. r "n Phone 2175 Red. Open Day aud.Nlgbt. The Astoria Restaurant i . .MAN HI NO, Proprietor. n Fine meals served at all ' hours. '.-Oysters : seryed in ': any style. Game in season. 399.Bond Street, Cor. 9th. f atorla,Orel ' Dr.CGaWo OtHDERFUL HOK2 TREATMENT flJMB WOMMM hst WW Mm that angina mm mt Urn. B enrrm with w """Will me -. -3. .srm. bartaa, roott. bwla, V ( " "rfJfi J net la tajt eraBtry. Tbroua Um an Una kann)M mnetfln U)i famaai oetor knswa lh aotkai f M ktna iam tdlra, which tmanfBlly la tlfamal 4lMawa. He fnamutma W can eatta. atfe DiA, lane tfa mat, rhcamatlam, an iibhiiim, Momach, I'irar, kldncva, Ma. kai kaainai af luiiuwaivik tluuta UMxlenua. CaU u4 talm. Hattmt oat af Um tttj ra 9m blanks a4 rtrenlafB. Barf Haaaa. OUoWOV Ration raxK. aui)j( . . ; ThedGte Wo Chlrtt Bctac Co. ,1 181 Aioar C I aVMnOaa . Dead Hair . (Grow beautiful hair. New method, etientlflo -and natural, cure for scalp and hair troubles. Six weeks Eothen JJair Culture Course by mall with rem edies. Results guaranteed. Send 10 cents postage for trial treatment Eothen Co, 25 Ajalc Bldg, Cleveland,0. GLIB MR. I ; JACKSON By Tomf Murray " CopjTlghu 1H. br T. C. McClara A week after I had advertised my house for sale I had a prospective cus tomer in the poreon of Mr. R. A. Jack son. Mr. Jacksou's business card con veyed the information that he was In the life iusurnnce business, and he gave me to understand that he intend ed to establish a branch agency at Gleavllle. He was a man of middle age, had a prosperous look and was a very glib talker. I realised that the gllbness was a part of his business. and as to his general appearance I waa prepossessed In his favor. I named my price, and he thought it reasona ble, lie paid me S10O in cash to hold the offer for week, I had paid great attention to details In building the house. I bad the beat of burglar alarms,' something new In the way of window fasteners, and. the place was connected with a police sta tion and a fire engine house. I needed to be secure. I had a collection of coins and stamps worth 115,000, and any burglar who once got In could have taken the whole away in a com mon gripsack. The newspapers were alwayayeaklng of the collection, and t resized thatsooncr or later some en-' terprtsinjff man ' would seek to lay bands on ft .without the formality of a sale. Mr. Jackson had told me that he was going to Chicago the day after he In spected -the house, but he didn't go. He came back to measure some of the rooms and take a closer look, so that he might satisfy his wife's curiosity when he did go. He paid particular at tention to the electric Kiting on this occasion, and his words of praise made me feel rather proud. My battery room, as I called It, was a closet between the dining room and the library, and In here led the tele phone wires from the roof. The batter ies for the burglar alarm and the vari ous bells about the house rested on shelves In the closet and I thus had the whole system under my thumb. There was an outside window to this l WHIPPED OCT A OI.X AM) SECT A BTJLLKT CLOBI TO MY EAR. closet, and I showed Mr. Jackson that my alarm was so attnned that he had only to touch a hand to the sash to set the bells jingling. After a thorough inspection we emerged, and when there had been some further Investigations he left the house. This was In the forenoon. There was no need of my entering the closet more than once a month unless something got out of order, but while I was eating dinner at C o'clock h feel ing of uneaslnesa came over me, and I rose suddenly and proceeded to the room. Everything appeared all right at first glance; but looking more close ly, 'I soon discovered that Mr. Jackson had plied bis nippers while I was talk ing. He bad cut the alarm wire for that window. That I should discover something wrong and trace It out when I went to set the alarm at 10 o'clock be very well knew. He must have fig ured, then, on entering the window at an earlier hour. My collection of coins and stamps was in a room by Itself next to this closet, and the door was never locked till bedtime. With the family all In the sitting room the treasure room was almost unguarded. The window by wbicb Mr. Jackson would enter look c I out upon a Ride yard. lie could skulk along by the shrubbery and escape be ing seen. It was a high window, and I therefore carried Hn empty barrel around for his convenience. Then the cook was ordered to hurry tip her work of clearing away, and before 8 o'clo k the famllyi occupied the living room, and there Was pluuo playing and rtJ- Ing. ........-. ... Of course I did not mean that Mr. Jackson shpuid go out as he came, In, and I also wanted to capture him with out the aid of the police. I therefore procured a bear trap at a hardware store, and this was set unflor'the win dow in the battery room. II? couldn't enter without stepping Into it, and the great Jaws were certain to give him the warmest kind of greeting. There was jiQ ledleu delay. ioJieej fll i mm my "nerves ou eJe. It n:is it dark", rainy night, but nt a quarter to 0 Mr. Jackson showed up. I had stretched string for him to hit with his foot, and when I got the signal we redoubled our ooise In the sitting room. 1 gave the tnau fifteen minutes more to break his way lu and then proceed ed to the treasure room and opened wide the door. Mr. Jackson was all there, and that bear trap had him fast by the leg. I had only got a glimpse of him when he whipped out a gun and scut a bullet so close to my ear that It slued, and naturally 1 lost no time getting out of range. He then fired several bullets Into the door, but it was of oak, and they did not come through. I had captured hlin, but at the same time he had captured the house. He seemed to have a full box of cartridges with him, and In shootlug around pro miscuously In the darkness be smaahed all the batteries, destroyed all the witches and left the house In dark ness. Then I had to get the police, but none of the four who came cared to face his bullets. They talked to him through the open door and the closed wtndow, but he waa an obstinate man. He wouldn't come out, and he "swore no one should come In. The police and the shooting drew a crowd, and for two hours people were trampling my lawn and uprooting flowers and shrub bery. I would have overlooked Mr. Jackson's lapse from mor.illty had he been reasonable, but he positively re fused to argue the c.ise. As a last re sort the polU-e scut for a fire engine and led a line of hnse from the nearest hydrant. The nor.le was directed Into the window, and the water came, and after the liquid had found Its way Into every room on that floor and stood four feet deep in the cellar Mr. Jack son said he had had enough to last him the rest of his life. The trai had pinched him, the cold water bad chilled ; and half drowned him. and be had fired away his fifty cartridges. The police took his gun and a score of skeleton keys, and after a few days he was convicted of burglary and got a sentence of seven years. I was rath er sorry about it ttefore leaving for prison he Informed me that he broke Into the house for the sol purpose of stealing a clock a hundred years old and that as for my collection he wouldn't have given me 15 cents for the whole outtit. Jahaala'a Dlaroara Water. Water is found most everywhere, especially when it rains, as it did the other day till our cellar wus half full. Jane had to wear father's rubber boots to get the onions for dinner. Onions make your eyes water, and so does horseradish when you eat too much. There la a good many kinds of water In the world rain water, soda water, well water, boiling water and brine. There Is a girl In our school named Waterman. All the boys say, "Waterman you are." and then she gets mad. I don't think girls took good when they are mad. Water is used for a good many things. Sailors use It to go to sea on. If there wasu't any oceau their ships couldn't float and they would have to stay ashore. Water is a good thing to make dams In and to swim in and to Ore at boys with a squirt gun and to catch fishes lu. My father caught a big one the other day, and when he hauled It up It was an eel. Nobody could be saved from drowning If there wasn't any water to pull them out of. Water 1s first rate to put fires out with. I love to go to fires and see the men work at the engines. This Is all I can think about water except the flood. Joke I.oat am film. An officer on one of the transaUantlc liners told a story last week which serves as another illustration of the Englishman's inability to grasp a Joke. The oillcer while, in London after his last outgoing trip dropped Into a cheap cbophouse in Soho. He took a seat near a table around which were gath ered a number of cockneys. One of the number, according to the conversation, had been recently to New York, where he acted as valet The cockney criti cised the city In scathing terms and suddenly poured out a string of Invec tive on the New York policemen. "We ave a bad lot 'ere," he said, "but they're not a circumstance to the mokes of bobbles they 'ave over In New York. I was sharpening a bit of a pencil one day in Fourth avenue and Twenty-third street. The blalde slipped, and I halmost bled to death. I ran up to a red falced bobby 'ang 'is bloom in' 'id e and asked him In a way as be comes a gentleman which was the quickest way to a 'ospital. 'R laughed loike a foolish one, and ez 'e, 'Go across Broadway by the Flatlron build ing three lmes at noon.' And Ot'tu blowed yet If I don't think the moke was drunk." New York Tribune. Holae and the Kervra. It was Schopenhauer who said that 'insensibility to noise was the surest indication of a low snd undeveloped nervous organization, on which assump tion It Is certain that we as a nation can hardly be reckoned very far ad vanced. Certain It is that we are more tolerant under this head than any other nation professing to call Itself civilized, though I fancy the Ameri cans run us pretty close in this respect. Sir ,Arthnr Sullivan was wont to com pose In the middle of the night because he could never obtain quiet at any oth er time, and without expecting the im possible or looking for legislation on a subject which Is merely of concern to the community at large, Irrespective of party Issues, surely it Is not too much to ask that the local authorities shall put their heads together on this matter aM-SercJsfl the powers which tfeer posses, Mr. llermml Shaw once ex pressed the opinion that It waa the "state aided nolses,"ms be called them, which were the worst offenders-as, for example, the church bells and the military bauds.-London Truth. narrtaon'a Rrjnladar, Every achooltvoy ts familiar with tht saying of llcnjamln Franklin as the group of anxious faced yet lyl men stood around to sign the Immortal Dec laration of ludepcudence, ' Now we must all hang together or we'll ail hang separately," liut the rejoinder ol the signer, Benjamin Harrison, to the alwve witticism la not so v-ell known. Harrison, a portly man, Liking down over his ample proMrUon. replied. "Ye, but when they drcp us off at a rojH's end some of you lightweights will bo kicking and suffering loug after I'm done for." timtr ot Ctaeerfat rme. To wear a cheerful fa."e when the heart Is" aching Is not deceit When a good housekeeper cleans the front steps and porch before abe seta the house to rights she does not mean to deceive passersby. 8h merely shows some pride In her house and some con sideration for her neighbors. We con quer our heartaches more quickly when we begin by considering the friends who are near na. Lackr B . ratlent-Oreat stt, doctor, that's an awful bill for one week's treatment! Thyalclan - My dear fellow, If you knew what an Interesting case yours was and how strongly I was tempted to let it go to a postmortem you wouldn't grumble at a bill three times ss big as this. -Chicago Tribune. Mot t an pre tad. "O Rafferty is dead. He wua sthruck by llglitnln." "Ol's not surprised at all. The lasht toime Ot saw him he wut look In' tnlghly bad." A nrSaltlon. . Llttlo Clarence- what Is an opti mist? Mr. Calllpcrs-Au optimist, my son. Is a pcrsfii who doesn't care what happens If It doesn't happen to hun. Puck.' Whoever dreads punishment suffers It, and whoever deserves It dre- ds It Colton. A Kstkrr'a Jral, Koftlelgli-WluMi I-awawsked her foh her hand In inawriage her bwntal father threatened to-awbwaln me, 4'ncher know. Miss Cuttiiig-Tbat'a Just like her father lie always we. fond of a Joke.- I'Mni-.-n News. A C lo.a Sin tral. "U fond of llteiiiM rr " "Is he a cl isi hiiidont';" "I should v.iy so, 1!" never spends s penny lie il'iesift h:iy,i to." Cleveland Plain Iienler. What a tnol'.'tl web we weave when flrst we practice t ilecclve!8eott. mi Ba PRINTERS LINOTYPERS Most ComD 1, .V' No Contract too Large, No Job too Small Book and Magazine ASTORIA SAVINGS BANK. Capital 1'sld lu 1100,000. V Snrptui tod Undivided Profits $35,000. f Transacts a general banking business. Interest paid on time deiKjiiU.' J.Q. A. BOWLBV. O. I.FETEKSON, FRANK PATTON, J. W. OA'NER, President ; Vie President Caabler. Asst. Cashier i .''-'-'': ' ) '. ' ' ' ,-t ... ........ .... Ifi8 TENTH STREET. ASTQRIA, ORE, 433 Commercial Street Sherman Transfer Co. (HENRY 8HKRMAN, Manager Hacks, Carriages Buggag. Checked and Transferred Trucks and Furniture Wagons- fianos Moved, Boxed and ShipjHjd. HOTEL PORTLAND The Finest Hotel PORTLAND,: If ZEALAND FIRE INSURANCE COMPANY OI New Zen In tid W. P. THOMAS, Mgr., 5an Francisco. UNLIMITED LIABILITY OF SHAREHOLDERS lias been Underwriting on the Pacific Coast for twenty-five years. ELMORE CO., Sole Agents Astoria CENTRAL MEAT MARKET U. W. Morton and John Fahrman, Proprietors, CHOICEST FRESH AND SALT MEATS. - PROMPT DELIVERY 54a Commercial St. Phone Main 321. ASTORIA, OREGON LANK BOOK MAKERS LITHOGRAPHERS ete Printincr Plant in Ore0on , Phone Main 121 in the Northwest OREGON. Oregon. fi y