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About The morning Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1899-1930 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 28, 1905)
THE MORNING ASTORIA N. ASTOKIA. OREGON. SATURDAY, JANUARY it, 1909. SIMMONS' LOVE STORY ! ,, tOrlfloal . "SlmoioM, tell us a story. "What kind of storyr , "A lore story," put In one of ths par ly, with grin, while the others gut rawed. Til tell you a love story If you like,' aid Simmons soberly. The others looked at each other as If wondering (rhat kind of a love story the nro liantlc Simmons would concoct Then they all agreed they would like to hew it This was the story: "Ten years ago," began Slmmons leastaways it was somewhere In the elghtle-beln' out of a Job, I was mor- In' Into Arizona. I was ridln' alone across the rollin country, feelin' kind o' desolate like, for I hadn't no rela tivea except way back In Indiana, and the circumspection wasn't calculated to alleviate no slob feelin's, there beln' no shrubbery but cactus, which la no more affectionate than a porcupine. Shortly before sundown I waa niovln parallel wiin a rise in the ground on my left toward the west when some'ers on t'other aide of It I heered the crack of ft rifle, follered by three more cracks comln' from a aome'at different direc tion. " ' , "I waa In the Apache country, and this set at to, thlokla'. If there was a disturbance 1 dMo't want to git Into It on the wrong aide. Apaches haint got no gratitude, and I preferred to cast my fortunes on t'other aide. . I lst dismounts and climbs the rise and when at the summit takes a peep through the cactus without beln' seen, Kight down below waa two wagons, , with the stock and a family of whites behind 'em, backed by the rise I was on, while f order out was a small band of redskins twenty or more, I reckon crawlin' up on to 'em, , firln' as they crawled. , "I goes down to my horse, unslinga two rifles, Includin' all the ammunition I , had there was plenty of It and goes back to the crest The Injuns bad scattered deployed, as the aojers - say Into a thin line curved like a bow bo's to. take the whites both center and on either flank. "Simmons," interrupted one 1 of the listeners, "do yon call 'this a love story? I call It a fightjn' yarn." - "The whites," continued Simmons lmperturbably, "was pretty much flustered, for they never could tackle the Injuns comln' from slch different p'ints. There was a middle aged man and a woman about the same age, and two young fellows about twenty and eighteen, a kid, a boy of twelve, and a gaL Every one of the half dozen of . em had rifles in their hands, Includin' the kid. The ole ,nian was tellin 'em &ot to fire till the Injuns got closer I could heir every word fie said not to aim at the same savage and never to Are w'thout bringin down a man. He'd posted the gal on one extreme flank and the kid. on the other, where there wasn't but one or two Injuns for ach to watch. The Apaches wasn't flrinjist then; they was doin eomep'n Bior tumble;, they was a-I ceeta,, .Contracting 'fb, jjhie, as tbey canii JVnen fhey got n!gathe ole iuan fired find dropped a redskin. At this all Jthe others fired, doin damage, except- the gal and the kid. Jist then the fxont, jline moved fore'ad and the two flank .jlnjuns closed iu rapid. It seemed to 'ine time for the reserve to come In, so J. dropped the flank' Injun goin'- for the gal, then turned to the one before :the kid, which I sent back with a limp. "Well, now, you'd oughter seen the tray them Injuns picked up their ears tni craned their necks' to see where the shoottn' came from. I knowed the moke hung over where I was, for we hadn't no smokeless powder then, so J moved purty quick a dozen yards to the right and let fly again, but I didn't hurry, so I might bring down an Injun every time. The family be low was equal astonished, but not a one of 'em dared take their eyes ofTn the redskins to see what was up. I keeps movin' about behind the cactus, firin' as rapid as I could convenient glviu' the appearance of a line fifty, yards from tip to tip. In less'n ten minutes I'd dropped fire Injuns, and the family, bavin' taken heart, dropped as many more. I counted ten left Them ten drawed off outen range and held a powwow, look1n"up at the crest where I lay in the cactus, not waatln' no ammunition, therefore gi vln' no sign. After awhile, likely concludin' there warn't much force on the crest, they advanced agin, usin' their ponies for protection till they come within 200 yards, then made a dash for the wag ons. "Of course I couldn't tell which brought down the most of 'em, the family or me. All I knowed was that four of 'em dropped, remainin' re markable quiet; two of 'em dragged themselves away; the other three put 'em on their ponies and galloped away.' Ibe story teller ceased to speak, having apparently reached the end of bis story. "Well," said a listener, "didn't the family show no gratitude nor nothin'?" "Didn't have no time. We was afraid of more Apaches and lit right out." "But where does the love part come Simmons was evidently embarrass ' f d. He took out a plug of tobacco and bit off a big piece. ' "I tol' you It was to be a love story, didn't IV 1 rsure.- ' . ': r ? t; i " "Well, there warn't no time for love neither." Simmons seemed restive under the laugh that followed, and one of bis listeners, to help him out asked a lead ing question: "Did yon travel with 'em long, Sim ingnsH ' , ' - : "Been traTelln with 'em ever sines ind been keenln' house with one on em-tb gal." F. A. MITCHEL. The Sphlax'a RUdU. The riddle which the sphinx pro pounded to the Thebans and the solu tion of which she made a condition of her withdrawal from the state was as follows: "What animal has one voice, at first four, then two and at last three feet?" tfdlpu8 discovered the answer to be "man," who In Infancy, from usiug his hands as well as his feet in walking, may be said to have four feet (all fours). In after life employs but two, and In old age to these he adds a staff, which may be reckoned a third. Upon this solution being glren the sphinx Is said to. have thrown herself headlong from the citadel. Mammoth Sale of Iadies? aiM . : '-,.-, y .!. , ' , ' , ' v " ,-- Children's Undlersiriuslins. , Begins Monday, January 30, at 9 o'clock a.m. AT - The SiwI Life. In my wanderings on foot when 1 1 walk through the provinces of Europe and talk to the people and fish and learn I find that what people lack most I In life Is simplicity, the poor man as well as the rich. It consists not in I plain dress, but In plain living, in sim plicity of heart, of personal beliefs and I respect for the beliefs of others. Ber. Charles Wagner. Foard (Q, Co o Prparr4aM. 11 Begin the morning by saying to thy self, I shall meet the busybody, the un grateful, arrogant, deceitful, envious! end unsocial, but I, who have seen iuel nature of the good, thut it Is beautiful! and that of the bad. that It Is ugly, can be injured by none of them. Mar cus Anrellus. W have been fortunate in securing for this city the exclusive sale of Underniuslins made by one of the lar gest and best known manufacturers of popular priced undergarments in the country. This sale will be the bes't prepared from every standpoint that has ever occurred in Astoria. No such grand collection of Women's and Children s Superior Made Underwear has ever been placed on the retail counters of this city. Immense quanti ties, vaneties and assortments, different than all or any other store can offer. We shall tell you in the quality of the goods, and cleanliness and purity and. their speaking prices what must perforce be omitted here The following illustrations will give our customers a hint of these remarkable offerings. See Large Window Display . Caanv For Sorrow. Brown Smith Is down with brain fever. Oreen-Yon don't say so! Brown Tes. The doctorssiys if he recovers his miud -will be a blank." Green- Well, I'm sorry to hear that He owes toe 510. Spiteful, Kate-Do you think it's true that people catch anything through klsslngl lladge Oh, I don't think so. See how often yonve been kissed and you've. never caught anybody yet Be who brings ridicule to beai igalnst truth finds in his hand bladi without a hilt Landor. Oat t Haxa. Way. "What the deuee are you doing on me lop or mat tree, .Mike? Don't you know that it's being cut down?", Mike -Ves. your honor. The last toinie ye uau a tree cut uown it fell on top of me, ana, nesjorm, 0111 be safe this loime: lndou Tit-Bits. m n IV, i t j l -I UM II (BUiES J GoughoandGoIdd PREVENTS Pnoumonia and Consumption Foley's Honey and Tar not only tops the cough, but heals and strength ens the lungs and prevents serious re sults from a cold. There is no danger of Pneumonia, Consumption or other serious lung trouble if Foley's Honey and Tar Is taken, as it will cure the most stub born coughs the dangerous kind that settles on the lungs and may develop Into pneumonia over night. If you have a cough or cold do not risk Pneumonia when Foley's Honey and Tar will cure you quickly and strengthen your lungs. ' Remember the name Foley's Honey and Tar and refuse any substitute offered. Do not take chances with some unknown preparation that costs you the tame when you can get Foley's Honsy and Tar, that costs ysil no mora and is safe .and certain in results. Contains no opiates. Cured After Physicians Said Ha Had Consumption. . E. H. Jones,' Pastor M. E. Church, Grove, Md., writes: "About seven or eight years ago I had a very severe cold which physicians said was very near pneumonia, and which they afterwards pronounced consumption. Through a friend I was induced to try a sample of Foley's Honey and Tar, which gave ms so much relief that I bought some of the regular size. .Two, or -three bottles cured me of what the physicians called consumption, and I have never had any trouble with my throat or lungs sines that time." Three slzes-25c, 50c; $1.00. The 50 cent size contains two and one-half times as much as the small size and the $1.00 bottle almost six times as much. , SOLD AMD RECCMMEKSED EY CHARLES ROGERS, Druggist Lot 1. Includes values just as you see them pic tured only better. They would sell in the regular way at from 20c to 35c; commenc ing Monday you get jour pick for, each 12 !-2c Lot 3. Is composed of La: dies' Gowns, Chemise Drawers and Corset Covers. Such values as these you can fully comprehend only aft er you have seen them. Come and take a look. Your pick, at a garment 2Qc. Lot 5. This bt alone should be 'sufficient to send you hurrying to our store, and that's what you'll have to do if you get in on the ground floor. Values that two months ago we couldn't buy for $ 1.25 we are selling to you now at, vour pick for 79c. Ilk MWC7 tol Lot 2 W 'piiw ill ! I Lot 2. H composed of Corset Covers, Drawers, Chil drcn's and Misncs' Waists and downs, The making alone is worth the price we are asking for the whole garment. Take your pick at, each I9c. Lot 4. U similar to Lot 3, only there's more of them. What's the use of you making your own garment! when i res as prevail. Vour for these pick 59c. Lot 6. The grandest and best assortment of all arc pure, clean, union made garments. Style quality and price, all combined, go to make this what it isthe most stupendous value giving assortment ever offered by any mer chant. They're worth p to Ij.oo; take your pick at, a garment $1.18. Sale commences on Monday next. Don't wait too long, a few days at the most will clean them out. Foard H Stolies Go Astoria, Oregon, 09 The Modern Laundry Discard the nie of leaky wooden wh tubs, quit carrying clesn water in and wuh water out, by fitting your Laundry with Laundry Trays If your Laundry is not modern don t yon think it should be f you make it 10, the houiehold ties will be pleasantly performed, and in case you wuh to 11 home it will increate the value. Let ui give you pi J. A. MONTGOMERY, Astoria, lM"TMS NIW W" S in 1 si m your 1 Hing I -. The MORNING ASTORIAN 60 CTS. PER MONTH Astoria's Best Newspaper ANDREW ASP, BLACKSMITH. Having Installed a Kobber Tiring Msohina of the 1 latest pattern I am prepared to do all kinds of work ' r - in that 11ns at reasonable ilcss. Telephone 201, ' CORNER TWELFTH AND DHANE STREETS. ASTORIA SAVINGS BANK Capital Paid In 8100,000. Surplus and Undivided Prints $-5 000 Transacts a general banking business. Interest paid on time deposit. ' -.W-a.wX. U.I.1-ETEBSOS, FRANK PATTON. J. W n. FresMcot Cashier. Asst. Cashier" K18 TENTH STREEt; ACTORIA, ORE. 433 Commercialltr" IriiTSSTil Sherman tensfer Co. :: '. I inENRY SHERMAN, Manager i I V :, ' Hacks Carriages-Baggag. Checked -and Transferred-Trucks , .Furniture Wagons- Pianos Moved, Boxed and Shipped. '