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About The morning Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1899-1930 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 15, 1904)
THURSDAY, DECEMItft 15, 1904. THE MORNING AS10RIAN, ASTORIA, ORKGON. POINTED PARAGRAPHS. One half tht stuff rou bur does too DO giKXl iKiu't carry lot of keys to private irswers. llurn PMners you don't want Oeu. A dollar la a large amount to pa for bread, but It la mighty Insignificant In poker game. When some people baren't any gnat trouble, tliey smile aa ipucb aa to aay, How brave I ami Many a good man fusses a great deal about nothing and makes blmaelf unnecewMnly disagreeable. There la tbla In being a parent: Tbey get tbe abuae If tbetr children are bad and no particular credit If tbey are good. Atchison Ulobe. Five Theaaaat) Dlatlaet Laaataasjea. Mr. J, Collier la authority for tbe statement that there are no leu than 0,000 dlatlnct language apoken by mankind. The number of separate dia lects la enortuoua. There are more than ality dlatlnct vocabularies In Bra all, and In Mexico the Nanus language baa been broken up Into 700 dialect. There are bundreda In Borneo. Tbe cotupleiltlea are beyond classification lu Auatralla, and generally tbe num ber of dlalecta decreases with tbe In tellectual culture of tbe population. If there la an average of fifty dlalecta to every language we atUl bavt tbe enormou total of 250,000. Baryta tbe laa Ilea. I In aoine parte c public houae loses x board la solemnly In aoine parts of England when a loses Its license the sign- buried. On the last r tkiviir ir la Ntmnvan 1 removed from over tbe door 1 and "waked" In I the bar by tbe old customers. When the clock points to Honing time and the bouse cesses Its sareer ss sn Inn tbe signboard Is car eled out In procession and Interred with an appropriate burial service, JiU'li ends with watering the grave with a gallon or beer or a bottls of Wblskjr. - POINTED PARAGRAPHS. Busliiess, like your salary, might al ways be better. The croquette is tbe old fssbloned bssh bsll after It geta Into society. Home people are too Insistent 00 tbe right to be fools In their own wsy. When a young mad refuses to work, that Is the beginning of all bis other troubles. When you abuse a boy for being worthless, remember bow worthless you were at bis age. Borne people ssy farming la so much aster than It used to be. 8 till. If fsrmer does bis duty even In these dsys be knows be has Job. There Is a good deal in print about tbe contagious Isugb, but bow often do you hear tti Tbe writer of tula knows but two people of all bla ac quaintance who have a laugh that la contagious. Atcblson Globe. Tbey Cat Both Win, Botuo Intelligence offices encourage even the greeuest girls to abandon gen eral housework and try for the place of cook, parlor maid, etc., for It Increases the fee, many otllces booing thla upon HAIR TELLS CHARACTER. Calee ef Hair laid to ladleate fa sea's Tesspetejnent. Many peopls bsllsvs that blonde, nt light hair denotes affection and dark bair constancy. A parson without halt is not devoid of charsotsr; tar from It Ths disposition of the average baJd hesded man 1 to show such solloltuds (or tbe welfsre of others, tbst ha neg lects himself. A garni causes baldness. ITof. Dsboursud, of Paris, France. In oocculated a rabbit with Dandruff germs, caualng It to become totally bald In Ave weeks' time. To rid the scalp of these dangerous serme It Is necessary to apply Newbro's Herplclde. "Deatroy the csuae-you remove the effect." Sold by leading drugslats. fiend 10c Id tampa for sample to The Herplclde Co., Detroit. Mich, s Eagle Drug Store, S51-SSS Bond 8U Owl Drug Store. Hi Com. St., T. F. Laurln. Prop. "Special Agent" v me auiwuni of wages paid. This la one explanation of the decreaalng num ber of general housework girls. They art also responsible for some of the restlessness of employees. Girls are placed In positions and removed when they are needed for others. Some use employers as training schools. Green foreigners are sent, abd when they have learned enough English and housework tbey are sent to others for higher wages, the office not neglecting to collect the extra feea. Then tbey Inform the long suffering employer that they understand her girl has left and that they can supply her need. Atlantic Monthly. Stalk Aetaalshe. A boy, apparently a newsboy, with papers under bis arm, was standing at JClghtb and Market streets wben a tnsn hurriedly approached, slipped a paper from under the youngster's el bow, tossed coin at him and then boarded a passing car. Instead of ap pearing pleased at having mads a sale tbe supposed newsboy uttered a yell and started up tbe street In pursuit of tbe car, bawling "Stop thief!" at the top of his vote. He csngbt tbe car at Ninth street and rushed inside. "Gim me that!" be demanded, grabbing the paper away from the man who had taken It from him. Tbe boy swung off and walked away before tbe astonished passenger bed re covered bis self possession. Then mat ters were reversed, for In bla Indigna tion tbe passenger alighted and startel after tbe boy. Tbe latter made no at tempt to escape. "Too young rascal!" exclaimed tbe excited pursuer, collar ing the lad. "What do you mean by taking that paper away after I bought Itr "Bought notbln'," aald tbe boy de fiantly. "I ain't sellln' papers You went an' swiped me paper tbst I put over the boss' pictures to keep 'em clesn. Look here!" And he turned the psges bsck, revealing to tbe surprised citizen several nice engravings stowed In between tbe leaves. It developed that the boy worked In an art store and was on tbe way there with the prints when the hasty Individual mis took blra for a newsboy and ran off with about flO worth of art works. Phlladelpbla Record. A Cast Far a War. A poor man may possess a wit so fine tbst It la capable of doing blm a great deal of service and then wait a long time before an opportunity comes for blra to'eierciss it profitably. This waa tbe case with an elderly tramp who waa once Intrusted, for want of a better messenger, with an errand to the Duke of Bedford. "Well, you're a queer fellow," aald tbe duke on seeing htm. "What Is yoor nemer "My name la Russell, your grace." Tbe duke laughed heartily, for bis own nsme was Russell. "And bow about your coat of arms?" asked tbe duke. "Is that tbe asms aa tbe Duke of Bedford's r "Ah. your graos," said the man, "our arms may be much the aame, but I fancy there's a aUght difference In our coats!" As this fact wss only too apparent, tbe duke sent for a good coat of bla own and gave It to the man. Fitted Far tha Baaiaaaa. "Have you ever bod any experience In caiivooslng for subscription books?" asked tbe mon at the desk. "No, air," said tbe applicant for a Job, "but I can put up a good talk." "Well, take a copy of thla work and go and see If you can get an order. I'll give you half a day to make the trial." The applicant went away. In an hour or two he returned. "What luck r Inquired tbe man at tbe desk. "I've got an order for tbla book In full morocco from your wife, air." "The deuce! You'll do, young man." Chlcogo Tribune. Oatflaaklaa- tha Baaaay. "Bridget, you must be more careful with your dusting. declare I could write my name upon the piano." "'Deed, ma'am, It's yerself has the gran' eddycsysbun!"-Town and Coun try. - SCLD t::D RECD'-ZEDED BY CHARLES ROGERS, Druggist WOMEN IN TROUSERS, 1 la t hamper', SwItaarlaaA, ths SUral Caaaaa Ha CmmmtmU It will prubulily be news to many ad vocates of feminine dress reform to bear tbst the women of Cuampery, a primitive mountain district of the Can ton Valats, Switzerland, have worn trousers from tune Immemorial Tbs Cbaniery reglou Is In tbe southwest ern part of the Canton Valals, the vil lage of Cbsmpery Itself being at tbe foot of the Dent du Midi, well known to Lake Geneva tourists. The men of Cbsmpery are noted for their luxy habits, snd beyond acting as guides to mountain climbers In the summer months tbey lead en absolute ly Idle life. Tbe women perform all tbe bard lubor required of a mountain eering people. It Is they who pasture tbe cattle on the steep and often dan gerous Alpine slopes, cut tbe timber and mow the grass. It Is a usual sight to see a Cbampery woman, her dally toll ended, returning to tbe vil lage dragging her husband on one of tbe wooden sleighs In general use throughout Swltserland, ber lord snd master all tbe while Isilly smoking bis Pine- , Under such circumstances It Is not surprising that the women of Cbam pery should bsve adopted tbe mascu line attire. Their costume hi of tbe simplest klnd-a Jerkin of rough, dark blue material, with trousers to match, and a red foulard to protect the bead. While desperately practical, nothing more unprepossessing In the way of feminine dress could be Imagined than this costume of tbe Cbsmpery dames and Uu niacin. Moreover, these wives and mothers of Cbsmpery, who are ac customed to all tbe work generally supposed to be the lot of tbe sterner sex, not unnaturally seek' what conso lation tbey can in masculine comforts. Chief among these Is tbe short briar pipe, which they all smoke and evi dently enjoy as much If not more than their buHbands and futbers.-New York Tribune. . Laalaeaa. One of the principal elements of safe ty to life and proierty In our society Is tbe Indolence and tbe consequent stupidity of many 4 the evil disposed. There are malicious persons who are harmless only because they are afflict ed with the germ of laslnese.-Phlla-delphla Record. Far Their Health. Teacher Now. who can tell me why the Puritans csme to this country! Small Member of History ,Class-J can, teacher. - They came to purify their blood. Cincinnati Trlhnna I "Best by Test" "A trans continental" trav eler says: "I've tried them all and I prefer the North western Limited It's the best to be found from coast to coast" It's "The Train for Com fort" every night in the year between Minneapolis, St. Paul and Chicago. Refb-e itaitlnt on a trip-no matter where write tor tnlereatlnf informa tion about comfortable traveling. H.LSISLER, Central Ajtnt 133 Third HI Portland, Oregon I. W. TKA8DALK, General Passenger Agent, Ht Paul, Minn. mm. When your lungs are sore and Inflamed from coughing:, is the time when the germs of PNEUMONIA, PLEURISY and CONSUMPTION and lodgment and multiply. f srB lni iiin stops the cough, heals and strengthens the lungs. It con tains no harsh expectorants that strain and irritate the lungs, or opiates that cause constipation, a condition that . retards recovery from a cold. FOLEY'S HONEY AND TAR is a safe and never failing remedy for all throat and lung troubles. Ths Doctors Said Ho Had Consumption -A Marvelous Curt. L. M. Ruggles, Reasoner, Iowa, writes: 'The doctors said 1 had con sumption and I got no better until I used FOLEY'S HONEY AND TAR. It helped me right from the start and stopped the spitting of blood and the pain in my lungs and today I am sound and well. Three slses 25c, 50c, $1.00. The 50-cent site contains two and one-half times as much ss the small size and the $1.00 bottle almost six times as much. REFUSE SUBSTITUTES. TRAVELERS' GUIDE. California ! The land of fruits, flowere and sun shine, where all the summer sports may be enjoyed In winter. $55 PORTLAND to LOS ANGELES AND RETURN. reached via THE SHORT ROUTE Beautifully Illustrated booklets and folders, descriptive of the many charm ing winter resorts, may be secured from any Southern Pacific- Agent, or address W. E. COMAN, Q. P. A, Portlsnd, Ore. ASK THS AGENT FOR T1CKET5 TZA To SpokSJie, St. PauL Minneapolis, Duluth, Chioago, St Louis, and all points east and south. 2 OVERLAND TRAINS DAILY Q The Flyer and The Fast Mai! L SPLENDID SERVICE UP TO DATE EQUIPMENT COURTEOUS EMPLOYES Daylight trip serosa ths Cascade and Reeky Mountains. For tickets, rates folders and full In formation cail on or address a DICKSON, City Ticket Agent 1SS Third Street. Portlsnd. Or. a Q. TKRKES, O. W. P. A 111 First Avenus. Seattle, Wash. WE GIVE EXPEDITED SERVICE ON FREIGHT ROUTE YOUR SHIPMENTS ,v VIA GREAT NORTHERN Ful) Information from '1' . ' I f WM., HARDER General Agent Portland, Ore. The World's Pair Route. 'IIIMllil D E LIGHT UL ROUTE ATLIGHT RIDE IZZY CRAGS EEP CANONS A GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY See nature In all he glorloua beauty, and then the acme of man's handi work. The first la found along the 11ns of the Denver A Rio Grande Railroad, the letter at the St. Louie World's Fair. Tour trip wlL' be one of pleas uremake tbe moat of It For infor mation and Illustrated literature write W. C. McBRlDE, Gen. Agt. Portland, Or. LWim TRAVELERS' GUIDE. Steamer "SUE U. WMF' The Largest; Staunchest, Steadiest and most Seaworthy vessel ever on this route. Beet of Table and State .Room Accommo dations. Will make round trip every five days between ASTORIA AND: TILLAMOOK Connecting at Astoria with the Oregon Railway & Navigation Co. and Astoria & Columbia River R. R. for Portland, San t'ruueiaco and all points East For freight and passenger ratea apply to Samael ilsiicre O Co.. Gen'. Agts., Aster la, Ore. OB TO A. & C. R B. Portland, Oregon Pacific Navagation Company, Tillamook, Oregon O. B-& N. Company, Portland, Oregon Famous Trains The Southwest Limited Kansas City to Chicago, Tbe Overland Limited to Chicago . via Omaha, The Pioneer Limited St. Paul to Chscago, run via Chicago. Milwaukee & St. Paul Railway Each route offers numerous attractions. The principal thing to insure a quick, comfortable trip east is to see that .your . tickets read via the Chicago, Milwaukee & St. Paul Railway. IL S ROOT, General Af est 134 A. & G. R. R. TIME CARD. EFFECTIVE SEPT. 4, 1904. Leave PORTLAND Arrive 800a.m I Portland Union 11.10a. m 7,00 p.m 1 depot for Astoria) 9.40 p.m Leave ASTORIA Arrive 7.45 a m j tor Portland and 11.80 a.m 6.10 p.m 1 wsy points 1 10-30 pm SEASIDE DIVISION Lesre ASTORIA Arrive 11.35 s.m tor Seaside Direct 6 AO p.m Leave ASTORIA. Arrive taiaaan ( for Warrenton, ) 10:45a.in i Hammond, Ft 6.50 p.m ( Stevens, Seaside ) 7 :40 a,m Leave SEASIDE ' Arrlvs 4:30 p.m for Astoria Direct 12 :30pTm Leave SEASIDE. Arrive 6.15 ft. m ( for Warrenton Ft) 9 25 a.m Stevens. Hani- 9.30a.m mond, Astoria ) 7.20 p.m. Additional train leaves Astoria dally at 11:30 a. m. for all points on Ft Stevens branch, arriving Ft Stevens 12: 10 p. m., returning, leaves Ft Stev ens at i: 00 p. m., arriving Astoria 2:45 p. m. ? Sunday only. Through tickets and close connec tion via. N. P. Ry. at Portland and Gobls and O. R. A N. Co, via. Portland. J. C Mayo, a P. A. NORTHERN PACIFIC rime Card of Trains PORTLAND Leaves Arrives fuget Sound limited.? :26 in Ml pm Kansas City-St, Louis Special 11:11 am 1:45 pm North Coast Limited I. IS o m T:H a m Tacoma and Seattle Night Express 11:46 pm 1:06 pm Take Puget Sound Limited or North Coast Limited tor Gray's Harbor points Take Puget Sound Limited tor Olym pla dlreot. Take Puget Sound Limited or Kan sas Clty-SL Louis 8pecleJ (or points on South Bend branch. - Double dally train service on Gray's Harbor branch. Four trains dally between Portland. Taooma and Beettio Third Street, Portland .ltf. a OREGON Shorj LINE akd Ui'UOriPACIFIC Sen Francisco end Portland S. S. Co. Tt hoars from Portland to CMeapo. No chants of cars. TIME 8THSDCLI8 Depart From Arrlva - PORTLAND Chicago Portland Halt Lake, Denver, Ft Bpeclal Worth, Omaha, Kan- t P SOS a. m. aaa Clt , 8t Louis, via Hant- Chicago and the East Ington Atlantic Expresa Palt Lake, Denver Ft 8:16 p. m. Worth, Omaha, Kau- 7 -.16 a m via Hunt- saa City, Ht Louis, Ington Chicago and the East 8t. Paul . Walla Walla, 1 ewla Fast Mall ton, Spokane, Mlnne " S15P. m. apolla. Ht Paul, Duluth 8:00pm via Spo- Milwaukee, Chicago, , kane andaal I OCEAN AND RIVER SCHEDULE From Astoria All sailing dates subject to change. For San Francisco every five days. Daily ex cept Hun IColumbla River to 4am Daily ex cept Moa romana ana Way lAndlnge day at?ani Steamer Nahcot'a leaves Astoria, on the tide DAILY EXCEPT SUNDAY. FOR ILWACO, connecting there with trains (or Long Beach, Tioga and North Beach points. Returning ar rives at Astoria same evening. Through tickets to' and from aU prin cipal European cities. O.' W. ROBERTS, Ascent, Astoria, Ore. fall's Sai&Pepi Oapsita A FOSITIVZ CUIT.3 ItWlEflnmmFiilon orCtrj of the Bladder and Dit.ea t-4 .iuneya. o cure no rf. Cuk i quickly and Perwev nenty toe worst cue of bonorrhtM and 4sUrH, bo matt' rof bow loos aiiuHla tT- AbsoTntHf bamMa. f old tj drttftprlsW. rrim 11 .2, cr bj iuhIL poartpi4, ll.W.S boxes, THE Sftmi-ttPStl QO, Hold by a.. Roffwr. 4SI ComamtM ill