PAGE TWO ASTORIA, OREGON, SATURDAY, OCTOBER 22. ASTORIA SAVINGS BANK Capital 1'aid in ttt)0,000. :': Surplus an TJodtviJed Profits $25,000 ' Transact a general banking bueinma, Interest paid on time driKitrV. 1 2 Q. A.BOWLBY. O. LFKTF-BSOK, FRANK PA1TOX. 3. W. OAUNER. President. Vic President Cashier. Asst. Onahier 18 TENTH STREET, ASTORIA, ORE. First National Bank of Astoria ESTABLISHED 1886 Capital and Surplus $100,000 (Ua. H. Gtoiyt, President J. L Hi&lns, Caihitr. Ceo. W. Wtrrtn, Vict-Praldent, CUtiijjIm, Aut Cathkr. The Astoria National Bank ASTORIA, OREGON. DIRECTORS GEO. H. GEORGE, GEO. W. WARREN, W. H. BARKER, AUG. SCHERNECKNAF, L.MANSUR. PRINCIPAL CORRESPONDENTS, J-jwt National Bank Portend, Oregon. Bunk of New York, N. B. A., New Tork Continental National Bank.cnicagu. Crocker-a ool worth Nat. Bank. 8. F. nncaaaan The-Palace aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Cafe The Best Restaurant a a a Regular Meals, 25 Cents n Sunday Dinners a Specialty n Everything the Market Affords a a Palace Catering Company S aaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa THE LOUVRE A First Class Concert Hall - - Finest Kesort InThe City ADMISSION FREE ATTRACTIVE PROGRAM CHANGE WEEKLY Seventh and Astor Streets CHARLES W1RKKALA. Prop. IMPORTANT " ' ti i t 't ' i n ."' ' i ' i l r l- - e . i i JtocE xsiana r risco systems nave arranged ior saie oi rounu trip ticketa to Chicago and St Louis , : October 27, 28 and 29 ... These are the last days on which special rate tickets may be ftnehased account World's Fair. teamer"SlEH.ELf..0RE" Leaves Astoria Every Wednesday Returning Saturday The Largest; Staunchest, Steadiest and most Seaworthy vessel ever on this route. Best of Table and State Room Accommo dations. Will make round trip every five days between ASTORIA TILLAMOOK Connecting at Astoria with the Oregon Railway & Navigation Co. and Astoria & Columbia River R. R. for Portland, San Francisco and all points East.' For freight and passenger rates apply to Samuel Elmore 0 Co., Gen'l Aits,, Astoria, Ore, OR TO ' A- & C. R. R. Portland, Oregon Pacific Navagatlon Company, Tillamook, Oregon O. R. & X. Company, Portland, Oregon Famous Trains The Southwest Limited Kansas City to Chicago, The Overland Limited to Chicago via Omaha, The Pioneer Limited St. Paul to Chscago, run via Chicago.. Milwaukee & St. Paul Railway Each route offers numerous attractions. The principal tiling to insure a quick, comfortable trip east is to see that your tickets read via the Chicago, Milwaukee & St. Paul Railway. K.& RCWE. General Agent 134 Third Street, Portland The Adventures of an Astorian 'BY WILLIAM McWHINNEY." 1 After an absence of 20 years Cap tain Tutton dropped Into Knstport Me., on a brljrM June morning, feeling the worse for travel. His cousin runs the hotel In this little town, nmt he made "Ken Ituckman't Place" head quarters during his stay. Tired, sore and covered with prohibition dust, he registered in a cureless scribe "Jim. Tutton, Astoria, Ore, U S. A." After registering, he asked for a key to his room, and quietly whispered to the clerk that a large alsed drink of "coffee" would be a treat at this particular time if he could get it "Certainly; you can have It. Any thing and everything to cheer trave lers is In our business, sir," Jim, I'm more 'an glad lo see ye; shake!" The sudor of Pm-lttV waters grasped the Mnlnlte's hand; they shook like they never had before, and Jmirs of Joy found a place of rest on their shirt bosoms. "well. Jim; I swan and you're the same man I handed a towel In the kitchen. Ilow atupld In me not to recognise' my own cousin. Put you'll forgive me, won't you. Jim?" "Certainly, Pen; no harm done." "Well, sir, J lin, you're a-looklng fine; and I hope ye feel as well." "Never better. How's all the folks, Penr "Well, Jim, e see things hain't changed much since you left a few here," said the captain, as he patted the clerk, bell-boy and whole thing on the shoulder. "I want a drink; that will help a man to forget his troubles In quiet Maine." "This way to your room, sir. Climb two flights of stairs, walk straight ahead to hallway, turn to your left and count six rooms back on ""your right and the sixth room is yours." ' "All right," said the captain; "I'll do that, and you hurry up the drink." The minute the Astorian dropped his grip In that sixth room his troubles began. He Wanted to take a bath and change his linen. While wait ing for the clerk and the drink he took from the wall a card "Rules and Regulations" adjusted his nose glasses and read as follows: Rule One AH bills payable in ad vance. Relatives charged regular rates and no favors granted. Rule Two Upon retiring be careful not to drop your shoes on the floor. and don't sit on the side of the bed as the tick sags. If you want more quilts whistle for them. Rule Three Early-rise buckwheat cakes and salt pork every morning for breakfast, from B:00to 6:30. Any thing you want for dinner. Cold meats, beans and brown bread for supper. No lunches between meals at any price. Rule Four-When you want to wash take the hack stairs to kitchen where water, towel and home-made soap will be cheerfully furnished rby Mary, the dishwasher. When jrou want a bath notify the porter a wash tub of pure rain water, blood heat, will be brought to, your room at a. m. Don't wet the carpet. Rule Five No fire escapes on this building. In case of fire run to back window and Jump on kitchen roof, then another Jump for the ground and wake the neighbors. P. S. If the above rules are not plain, the proprietor will ejplaln them. Returning the card to Its tack In the wall, he removed his coat, hat, collar, shirt, and slipped suspenders from his shoulders. "Here goes for Rule No. 4," said Jim; and away he went down the back stairs for a Maine scrub with soft soap and rain water. He entered the kitchen and all was quiet, "Where is Mary? She's not here. Plenty of soap and water In sight, but what am I to do for a towel?" "Mary!" he shouted, "bring me a towel!" , . The proprietor heard the mild re quest in the front office and came out In a hurry. "What's up?" Inquired the land lord. "Everything Is away up In this place," answered Jim. "I want, a towel and I want It quick." And he got it The bath and a change of clothes helped to cheer him. "Now I'll see Cousin Ben." With thoughts of bygone days In a better land, he made his way to the hotel office. Buckman had received his weekly mall, the Portland trans cript, and was comfortably seated In the old arm chair, enjoying- the news of the week. Jim entered unnoticed and broke the silence with, "Hello, Ben, old boy; how are you? .And what's the news about these dlggln'sf Well," said Ben, "I Just got my Transcript a halt hour ago, and hain't had a chance to find out much yet just got down to the national capital notes. They say In Washington that Roosevelt will be re-elected, and I guess the crops and crountry will be safe another four years." Buckman never took the trouble to see-who had greeted him, and kept on reading. "Come, never mind your politics; shake hands with your cousin, Jim Tatton, of Astoria, Ore." Buckman's paper fell to the floor and his sliver specks dropped In his lap. "Well, by gum! Jim Tatton! and Good for you, old man; I'm glad I'm' of us old boys have got a little older; all the young folks put to Boston or some other large city to learn some thing, and you know, Jim, the first thing they learn Is to steer clear of home. And. tell the truth. I don't blame 'em much, 1 was In Boston fer a day six years ago, and If It wasn't fer havln' this hotel on my hands, I'd never come back either. "Utst season herring fought shy of these Bhorea and the factories only run a few weeks' time. When the factories don't run full time someone in our town goes hungry, and I guess quite a few have been going with a half-fed stomach this summer. "Your old friend. Captain Brltt, still runs to Calais on the passenger steamer; he'll be In tomorrow at 1; the same old Prltt; Just as good natured; hasn't had an ache or pain since I can remember. "Tourists have been more numerous this season, and loks like the Repub lican times of years ago. I tell ye; Jim, there hain't nothln' like good old Republican rule t make 99 per cent of the people happy. "They tell me up at Bath there are several new ships beln' built, and Bar Harbor hotels are crowded to the roof with city folks look In' fer rest, sea breeies, fish chowder, and such. "I suppose ye saw the , big ship Henry Falling In Portland. Ore. She was built In Bath, and for a salting craft takes the biscuit "Our family has been purty well. Mill had a sore throat last winter. Grandmother died at the age of 99. The day before - she passed away she busied herself about the flower beds and fed the chickens a meal maan ior supper. Granny was so good to the sick of our neighbor hood. I guess more than us will miss her kind heart and willing hands. "Jim, how big a family you got two or three boys and a girl, eh?" Tatton blushed at this query and surprised Ben when he answered, "Not a one," as the Yankees boast of large, good natured families. To change the subject the captain Invjted Buckman to take a walk be- ' (Continued on page three.) MILLINER Y i, Mrs. R. tnulelon baa oimmid a flno Una of Lailis' ami , Children's Vail and W intw JIaia. . Call and lea Uicm. CLOSING OUT SALE . Of Ladles' ami ('hiMreir furnishing gondsuuaMr bar gains being niHtlu during this shIu. Also Ilsir Hwllche Mini Pompadour. MRS. R. INQLETON, i i Welch Block. CENTRAL MEAT MARKET U. W. Mortou ami John Fuhroin, Proprietors. , , UU01GEST FUKSil AND SALT MKAl'S, - PUOMPT DELIVERY 54a Commercial St. Phone Main 331. ANDREW ASP, BLACKSMITH. . . ' Having Installed a Rubber Tiring Msohiue of the latest pattern I am prepared to do til kinds of work in that line at reasonable, prices. Telephone 21)1. CORNER TWELFTH AND DUANE STREETS. IimalFIIORMCECOMY jt rscw z.caiana W. P. THOMAS, Mgr.i San Francisco. nuinirm. tudiiitv ac cn ADCiinincnc UilLlMllLU LUIDILIU Ui OimilLllVLULllJ Has been Underwriting on the Pucilio Const for twenty-five years. ELMORE CO., Sole Ag'ents Astoria, Oregon. LISTEN! It will only take a moment to tell all about our sensational bargain sale of matted copies of the masters, painted in many colors, only 20 cents apiece. "Woodfleld's Little Art Store.' BBflla FISHER'S OPERA HOUSE. L . SEL1C, Lessee and Manager. Week Commencing May, Oct. 17, 1904, First Pacific Icoast tour of THE HUMPHREY-CHAP. . . v . , MAN CO., introducing Mr. Orral Humphrey Supported by an exceptionally strong roportoire of metro politan plays. Opening performance, BURIED AT SEA" Special ccnery M arvelous cclianical Effects BAD BREATH "for ?D(rathi I htd mat troiibl.wlthairttoaiwa sb4 ...4 .11 kind, of modleln... Mr tungo. hu SMn ketuaUr u ran M f rut, ntf brmth blnf 8 bid odor. Two w.k. mo . frl.ud reconnn.iided Ho.raU .nd .'tor ndnf Ih.m I c.n wlllln.lr u( ehMrfnll)T f Ih.t th.y in, entlr.tf timdiii. I th.rafor. lt fob know tli.t I bu mni wi.n mi pnj on. .aninnff irons .Hen trrroniM." (Uuu. H. l.lpaB. 191 Jllvqigtos ., or,)l.t. Jfef Bt For S CAMOV CATHARTIC ' jlgT PlMtMit, PtUtobl, Potent, TuU 6 nod. Be OoM, .T.r Kick... Wuk.a orOrlp., lta, ,Ms.NTa old la balk. Th. a. nolo, tabl.t ataamd 000. vuruwH bo .ar. or roar nou.f OA.it. Itarlinf Ranadf Co,, Chicago or N.Y, ggf mUALSAIXTEB KILUQI B3XE1 sett's Smtal-Pipslo Gapsoles FUSITIYE CUCE For iBflaTnma Mon er Oat.tb f th. Hiaridi r and IlMa4 Kldaafa. Ko cur. no ff Cant qaloklr and Perna. Bentljr tua wont Mats or Oonttri ho) and ut. Boaialt rof Uowloni aiaka Inr. Abaolutelf barmlM Sold by druinrUta. aria. !!."?'.? br "ail. paetpaJA tlM, I iarm, W.W. TUr i mt i MM..!, tuk u 'Mr iw MwiaaTirtis UMm Bold tr Ckaa. Rogers, 481 Coaumrclal Every detail of the famous New YorH produc tion faithfully carried out. PM"" Reserved Seats 35 cents muL Gallery 25 cents Seat sale opens at Griffin's store Saturday morning f When you lave a good thing Advertise It. We do good commercial printing. ' Bring your printing to the ASTORIAN Office. w einhard Lager Beer.