FACE TWO
ASHLAX1) TIDIXG9
Monday, April 8, 1014
Ashland Tidings
SK.HMVKKKLY.
KSTAIilJSHKU 1H70.
Issued Mondays and Thursdays
I5rrt It. Greer, - Kditor and Owner
R. W. Talcott, . - - City Editor
ihsckiption katks!
One Year $2.00
Six Months 1.00
Three Months DO
Payable in Advance.
TELEPHONE 39
Advertising rates on application.
First-class job printing facilities.
Equipments second to none in the
interior.
Entered at the Ashland, Oregon,
Postofiite as second-class mail mat
ter. Ashland, Ore., Monday, April ft, 1014
THE CALAMITY HOWI.Elt.
EXCUSE THE EGO.
The colonial fathers reached an
agreement that "all men are created
equal," but they did not overlook
the fact that once In a great while a
human being conies into the world
endowed with :eul genius; others
blessed witn pleasing beauty of form
or counti-uance; some come with a
happy disposition, others with the
havi' :,p of wealth and luxury and
. iocracy; and there is another
4-.i of human beings who bring into
this world with, them a constitution
al grouch. They are the calamity
howlers not merely pessimists.
The muckraker of a generation
ago and even of our own day is not
necessarily either a genius or a
grouch. If there is really muck to
rake, the world ought to know it
and get rid of it, but Mr. Grouch
doesn't scowl upon the world to help
it; the welfare of his fellow beings
is among the very least of his prob
lems. He must see calamity and
howl calamity; if there la no calam
ity, he must howl anyway. This is
the only theory which satisfactorily
solves the problem of the presence
of the calamity howler.
It is strange indeed how industri
ous a real calamity howler is by his
very nature. He was busy in the
very beginning in the garden of
Eden and gave Eve an experience
which the human race has not for
gotten; Moses had him in bondage
in Egypt aud in bis march through
the wilderness; Joshua bad them in
his army; he has been present
throughout all the various stages of
civilization, yet it Is utterly impossi
ble to trace one substantial contribu
tion made by him to the peace, Com
fort or happiness of the human fam
ily. Napoleon had an Ideal method
of treating with him or rather dis
posing of him. He chopped his head
off, and therein the great French
man gave us another example which
we of this day might well afford to
emulate.
Of course we don't have any guil
lotines In our day, or at least In our
country, but there are many effectual
ways of chopping off heads than
committing physical murder. We
have an institution under our form
of government known as public
opinion one of the most effective
methods of defense which has ever
been discovered. This most formid
able of all .society's defenses is in
the hands of every cititen. There
fore, it Is our privilege, whenever the
calamity howler raises his voice,
whether it be in the newspaper, in
congress. In our state legislature, or
the stump or In the street, we have
a perfect right to wield the weapon
placed in our hands in the name of
the public welfare and by authority
of the majesty of common decency.
When the calamity howler Hhows his
head smash It; swat him; he Is a
general nuisance and it Is the duty
of each one of us to abate him. You
may see him in the church, in poll
tics, in business. He has been ex
ceedingly active in Ashland. Kefs
get rid of him. The time is here to
do something. The opportunity of a
lifetime is present and the calamity
howler should be swatted as we swat
the fly.
We are timidly and consciously
reproducing the following from the
Medford Sun. We do not want to
appear as talking too highly of our
self in our own paper for we feel
that Mr. Ruhl has overestimated our
ability and worth but we cannot re
frain from feelings ol gratitude and
thankfulness for such kind words
from our cotemporary, so we reprint
the editorial:
Itetirement of Hert H. Greer.
In regretting the retirement of
Bert K. Greer, editor of tha Ashland
J Tidings, from the state senatorial
race, we believe we express the sen
j'timent of a large proportion of the
I community.
j Mr. Greer lias the training, the
ability and the i'gnressiveness to
j make himself a force for practical
I accomplishment at Salem. With a
i most Intelligent grasp of the needs
land opportuuti m of southern Oregon,
I with ambition, determination and
! spirit, he would, we believe, have
made an enviable record.
Mr. Greer has, above all, the posi
tiveness and distinction of opinion
which would have made a merely
negative representation of this dis
trict at the state capital impossible.
His retirement Is a distinct loss to
the community.
GERMAN RED TAPE
A Most Irritating Brand Is Used
In the Postoffices.
TO ASSIST THE GUESSERS.
SENDING A PARCEL BY MAIL.
'Experience of an English Tourist Who,
With Joyous Confidence, Undertook
to Perform What Was Supposed to !
B a Perfectly Simple Operation.
i
In all innocence and lightness of i
heart 1 set out one morning to semi a i
small pan el to England from the town I
in Germany where I was staying. At
the posiotlice I was confronted by
three booking office windows, each !
bavins a weird and formidable insc-rip- 'dollars in
Hon over It. These inscriptions were 1 in
not to be comprehended at u glance: 'March 1
Six thousand three hundred people
visited Crater Lake in three months
last hummer. Seventeen thousand
people vi3ited Newport last summer.
Twenty-six thousand visited the ice
palace at Trukce, Cal., the past win
ter. Seven hundred thousand visited
Yellowstone Park last year. One
hundred and seventy thousand visit
ed Yosemite last year. Two hundred
and ten thousand visited Hot Springs,
Ark., last year. One hundred and
seventeen thousand visited Eureka
Aprings, Ark., last year. One hun
dred and fifty thousand visited Min
eral Wells, Texas, last year.
How many tourists will visit Ash
land next year, if the springs are
brought in? The Tidings offers ten
;old to the person guess-
closest to the number before
The tourists will be count-
Mt 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 Ug H4 HIHUHMmi'l'WmMs
t
t
Capital and Surplus, $120,000.00
Firs! National Bank
Oldest National Bank in Jackson County
, here from January 1, 1915, to Jan-!
;ary 1, 1916. See the conditions ot jT
tne contest in another column. i
1 I s,3,llI,lI;,H,4,4,,I-I,!,,S,4,4,4'4,4,,I,4,,r,l,,I,4,,I4,,i,4,l,4,4,,J,,I,,r'r,fr,l,4,4,4,,I,4,,l,,l,4,lfr,fr
' TAINT I V AXI CI.EAX IT."
Many cities and towns are prepar
ing to observe this spring a week
described by the above title.
One of the principal reasons for
the shabby appearance of so many
localities is the lack of house paint.
Builders put up wood tenements in
the most flimsy way possible.- They
buy adulterated paints, in which the
fundamental elements of lead and oil
are deflcinet. In a year or two this
sham material wears dingy. The in
crease of railroad traffic and soft
coal spreads its mantle of grime.
Of course if buildings lie close to
a railroad track or other plant burn
ing smudgy material it seems almost
hopeless to keep them like Spotless-
town. But for wooden property not
exposed to any persistent smudge,
it is poor policy to scrimp on house
paint. Every poorly painted house
throws a grey pall over the neighbor
hood. It encourages every one
around to delay improvements.
Building material deteriorates, and
an Improssion of general slovenliness
and poverty is given. This scales
down real estate values. Paint up
and clean up!
SOME MTHIA WATEK.
The new l'.thla spring produces
33,120 gallons of aater each 24
hours. Possibly within two years
Ashland will attract enough tourists
during the season to consume that
quantity, but if sha does the volume
of the spring can bo easily increased
by further development. There Is a
world of good lithia water in that
region. Ashlund has waters of me
dicinal worth enough to attract more
than a hundred thousand visitors a
season the volume Is sufficient'
and to do it Is only necessary to
carry the project out on a scale that
will attract and accommodate them
There is not a resort in America that
hus so many natural advantages as
Ashland. Our soil is more fertile,
our scenery more beautiful and our
climate more equable; we have
more di.Terwnt kinds of mineral wa
ters, in greater volume than any
other, and our combination for at
traction beats them all. The next
move l.i a new fireproof hotel. Ne
gotiations are now under way.
If the new dances made people of j
40 feel as if they were 60, instead! T1'e senate is talking of a nation
of the reverse, there might not be ! al censorship of the movies. Congress
so much objection to them.
The Tidings is tor sate at W. M.
Poley's Drug Store, 17 East Main 8t.
Staple and Fancy
Dry Goods
Fancy Waists
LADIES' SILK GLOVES.
white silk, 75c,
$1.
$1
16-button
and $1.50.
2-button, 50c, 75c and
16-button black silk, white
stitching, 75c, $1 and $1.50.
2-button. 50c, 75c and $1.
16-button white chamois suede,
50c and 75c.
16-button kid in white, tan and
black.
2-button kid gloves in all col
ors. LADIES' SILK HOSE,
50c, $1 and $1.50.
A SIMPLE PKOItliEM.
TKX-DOLLAH GOLD 1'IECK FREE.
The Tidings will give a prize of
ten dollars in gold to the person
guessing closest to the number of
tourists that will visit Ashland dur
ing the season of 1915, if the springs
are brought in. All guesses must be
In by May 1, 19H (30 days from
now), and the prize will be awarded
at the end of the season next year.
The person winning this prize will
no doubt be the one who studies tour
ist movements at other resorts cIob
ent, and make the most correct com
parison between the attractions of
the other resorts with Ashland after
the springs are in.
Address all guesses to the Mineral
Springs GueRS Department of the
Tidings.
The guesses, together with a short
reason why, by the guesser, will be
printed la the Tidings. Sign your
own name to your guess.
Last year, during peach-picking
time, Councilman Ware telephoned
the Tidings editor asking If we knew
anybody who wanted a few boxes of
over-ripe peaches for nothing. We
had all we could use at the time and
In a half day's search we failed to
find any one to take Brother Ware's
over-ripe peaches as a gift. Now,
had Ashland twenty thousand tour
ists In town at the time, how much
cash could Mr. Ware have sold those
peaches for, at retail, on the home
market?
Or, going farther, how many ap
ples would one hundred thousand
tourists buy In Ashland at two for
a nickel? They pay three for a dime
for our apples In the east. Let's
figure the cost of the springs against
the benefits. That's the way to de
termine whether we can afford to
spend the money to make Ashland a
tourist resort.
I-""' ' ' v. 1111 "J Z I.UUIU'
so, not wishing to gaze up at them t ed from the railroad tk-kets stopnins 1
long, I selected the least crowded win- hpve ,m-.. !,,,.,.,. i ioir. , !
dow and handed over my pancel. II
was promptly returned to-me with a
curt "Go to the next window:" It
was Just that window I specially wish
ed to avoid, being the most crowded,
but I waited my turn and then made
another attempt. The official looked
lit mo sternly.
"Have you the circulars?' he asked.
"No." I replliHl faintly.
Ho handed inu three circulars, for
which I had to pay n small sum ami
which I was requested to I1H up. rick
ing up my parcel, 1 sat down to study
those circulars. They were covered
with instructions, the language used
was niagiiiliceiit, and the effect was j
so overwhelming that 1 found it dial j
cult to grasp what I w-iis instructed
to do. If my papers were not filled up ,
accurately it was not from untruthful
ness, but owing to my limited German '
vocabulary.
By the time I had described the j
parcel, the gross weight thereof in i
gramas nnd kilograms, the gross I
value thereof in marks and pfennigs
and given a detailed description of 1
each article contained therein, with I
Its separate weight and value, I felt j
like an old inhabitant of tuatpostoffice. '
I had seen, as it were, generation after
generation of stamp purchasers come
and go, and still I remained. As to
the weights, my idea of kilograms !
was about on a par with my knowl
edge of definite integrals. However, I j
did my best. I guessed at the prob- i
able weight of the parcel and divided j
the articles into it.
At length I came to the end, and.
feeling like a candidate at an exam- '
Ination, I gathered up my papers aud
the parcel and went over to the win
dow. After waiting my turn I handed
over the papers. The official glanced
at them, then at the parcel, and
frowned.
'Did you weigh the articles?" he
asked sternly.
"Ya-a-o!" 1 stammered.
"Then go home and weigh them
again. You have put them down at
half n ton!"
There was no belp for it With a
sigh I gathered up my papers and
went back to a secluded corner. After
patiently reducing nil the weights I
again presented the papers. This time
they were passed, and I was sent on
to the next department, where I had
to purchase mid till up another docu
ment. I was now getting Into form,
and this paper, was soon dealt w ith.
Then, with my heart beating fast, 1
handed over the parcel. It was once
more returned to me. The official said
he could not take it In that condition
It was insecurely made up.
Now, if there is one thing upon which
I pride myself it is upon the neat way
in which I turn out a parcel. So,
smothering my Indignation, ns weir as
I could. I assured him that it would
be all right, that It was perfectly safe
and thut there -was nothing In It which
was breakable. He repeated firmly
that It was insecure nnd that he could
not take it. 8o I sadly collected my
papers and the parcel aud went home
to dinner.
I spent ail the afternoon trying to
pnrchaso a cardboard box of exactly
the rigbt proportions aud some water
proof cloth to wrap round It. 1 next
procured a stick of sealing wax and a
German seal, and by the time I bad
finished that parcel looked as If It
were prepured to travel' to the north
pole.
It was now getting toward evening,
and I was feeling wearied after my
day's work, so I besought my brother
a willing, guileless youtb-to take it
to the post office. He took It so luno
cently that my conscience reproached
me for not having given him a word
of warning. lie mas a long time gone, '
but that was to be exected. When
I saw hlni come In my heart snuk in
despair. j
"They won't take It like this," be j
said cheerfully. !
I groaned and asked:
"Why not?'
"There's not enough sealing wax i
Depository of the United States, State of Oregon, Coun
ty of Jackson and City of Ashland.
t
i.
might like to take the job, as it
would help delay legislation.
Phone news items to the Tidings.
Ashland Billiard Parlor
10 East Main St.
J. P. Saylc & Son
VAUPEL'S
Uye QUALITY STORE
Bntterick Patterns
SHOES
GENTS
FURNISHINGS
We Give 5 Cash Coupons With Every Cash Purchase
New Arrivals for Easter Trade
DRESS MATERIALS.
Regal silk crepe in white, pink,
tango, tan, new blue, lavender,
5-yard patterns, 90c yard.
crepe intango, blue
pale
Rrocaded
and purple.
Ratine French crepe in
blue, ecru, white and grey.
Silk ratine in tango shade.
White and colored ratine
great variety.
Ratine voile in white and tan,
white snow-flake voile, white
snowflake crepe, and many other
novelty weaves in white dress
goods.
Crispine cloth In light blue, tan,
new blue., pink, white, cream,
brown and lavender.
Dovetine cloth for afternoon
and evening wraps, in white and
pink.
in
Xe lace flouncing
signs.
in many de-
New Spring Waists in voile, Ince nnd lawn, nt
$1.00 nnd up
JUST RECEIVED ANOTHER LOT OF FANCY SHOES IN SOROSIS
MAKES. INSPECTION INVITED
MEN'S $3.00 FELT HATS, SPECIAL AT $1.95
j& Boys' Suits, Boys' and Men's Shoes and Furnishings j&
Let us fit you with a pair of SOROSIS or ITZ & DUNN shoes. They are right in price, style
and quality. Satisfaction guaranteed.
Congress passed the usual appro
priation of 1257,000 for distribution
of garden seeds. No other equally
cheap method of soliciting votes has
ever been devised.
Probably the Interstate commerce
commission would like about two
years to consider wath the railroad
rates should be for the next twelve
months.
on It."
"Not enough sealing wax?" I cried N
Incredulously.
"No. You must put a blob wherever
the string crosses and wherever there's
a knot"
In desperation I seized the sealing
wax aud worked awuy until 1 bad
used It to the last speck and the par
cel was one Intricate mass of string
and wnx. Then 1 conveyed It once
more to the poKtofllce. It was now al
most closing time, nnd the officials
were In n hurry to get sway. I band
ed over the papers and the parcel with
out n word. ,
Two minutes later I walked out of
the postofflee with Joy In my heart and
s smile of sstlsrsctlon on my face, 1
had aent th. parcel off. London Fami
ly Herald.
LaM Ponces Prop
BUT THEY DON'T DROP BELOW THE BOTTOM. They have been at the bot
tom for some time. They were thought to bo too high a short while ago, but they will
Boon start upward again and go still higher. Don't laugh, frown or shrug your shoul
ders at this, for it is a fact. "History repeats." I have recently had more calls from
clients "raising their price" or "withdrawing" than listing new oilerings or lowering
prices. But I still have some properties at REDUCED PRICES.
700-acre stock ranch, easy access $20000
320-acre general and stock farm, alfalfa and fruit 1"....!... $20 000
300-acre 6tock farm " ' " $io'o00
100-acre mountain ranch " $ 4 000
240-acre farm $12 000
All these are Rogue River Valley properties, quite nicely located.
For Exchange
1,280-acre farm In Douglas county; 400 in cultiva
tion; good improvements. Will trade for in
come property. Value $28,000.
12-acre Irrigated dairy and orchard .home; fine
Improvements; free water; close to city. Cheap
at $9,500.
36-acre ranch near town; lots of fruit. Will be
sold for half price. Call for particulars.
For rent, furnished hotel.
Four-acre Ashland home to trade for business.
For rent. 5-room furnished cottage on paved street.
A Richmond. Cal., lot for sale on monthly pay
ments. Better profit than savings bank in this.
i..T1"E"Bfr!!i Ahland home to trade for smaller
place In Ashland.
Some business chances.
Houses to rent.
Homes on installments.
Insurance.
. Watch next issue of this paper for new bargains.
ji
Hotel Ashland Bldg.
Ashland. Oregon
V