i
PAGE SIX
ASIILAXI TIDINGS
Monday, January 20, 1013.
Mrs. Gadwall's
Premium
A Case of False
Economy
By CLARISSA MACKIE
"You save 18-1 soap wrappers and
you get a parlor lump!" declared Mrs.
Gadwall enthusiastically. "1 should
think you'd be willing to bring down
ii " bars of soap each week so as to
have a new lamp for the parlor, Hen
ry!" She emphasized his name lu or- j
der to arouse his wavering interest.
"Eh?" ejaculated Henry, rattling his
newspaper impatiently.
"You were not listening to a word I
said." reproached Mrs. Gadwall.
"Yes. I was, Sarah. I heard every
word." he equivocated, emerging from
behind the paper and turning his gaze
upon her, now with undoubted inter
est Well, what did I say?"
Mr. Gadwall hesitated. While he
had been reading nu especially delec
table bit of baseball news the voice of
Sarah, his wife, had floated over,
around and under the newspaper, and.
nlthomth he was skilled in sometimes
guessing the purport of her conversa
tion when he had not been listening,
now lie was quite nonplused. lint he
hazarded a guess, based on previous
complaints.
"You said we needed a new sofa for
the parlor, but that we must have a
lamp lirst." said Mr. Gadwall boldly.
His wife's sni'le warned him that he
had committed himself In some way.
"You are too clever for me. Henry,"
she said sweetly. "We do need the
sofa, and you have promised it to me
for Christmas. About the lamp by
paving IS t Hubble Froth soap wrap
pers we cat get a beautiful lamp ns
a premium. It won't cost us a penny."
"Well?" inquired Mr. Gadwall.
"What do you think of the idea?"
"Do Flower & Meal keep It?"
"No there's (he trouble. H can only
be bought at one of the Rubble Froth
stores in town. I thought you would
not mind bringing down a box of soap
now and then. When you're commut
ing it's easy to stop In one of their
downtown stores and get a small bos."
"Very well." returned Mr. Gad well
relievedly, "if that's nil that's required
I guess we can have a parlor lamp.
"Why not wait a little while not as
long as you will be collecting soap
wrappers and go to n china store and
buy a lamp straight?"
"That's Gadwall extravagance!" la
mented Mrs. Gadwall. "What Is the
tine of paying $1.1 for n lamp when 1
can get a fifteen dollar lamp free with
only 1S1 soap wrappers?"
"Enough said!" declared Mr. Gad
wall crisply. "Make out your sonp
order nnd I'll bring some up tomorrow
night, although I won't promise to
shave with it."
The next evening when Mr. Gadwall
alighted from the train at Lawn Villas
he carried a weighty package down the
half mile of road that separated him
from his suburban home.
He thumped it down on t ho kitchen
table with a mighty groan. "There
Sarah! The next consignment of this
confounded soap you want yon can
have sent down by express! My arm
Is stiff and sore."
Mrs. Gadwall was busily cutting the
cords that coullned the cakes of soap.
"1 thought if you brought the soap
down we could save express charges
nnd have the lamp u clear prolit." she
explained. "There, that's the toilet
soap. Isn't it sweet and refreshing.
Henry?"
"Smells greasy." he declared, wrin
kling his nose with disgust.
"See the trademark, Henry n ma
gician scrubbing a little black Im.v
white with Hubble Froth soap," pur
sued Mrs. Gadwall. undaunted by his
criticism "Isn't It appropriate?"
"It would be more appropriate if
they had the magician transforming a
worn out horse kito a cake of Hubble
Froth soap," ' grinned Mr. Gadwall.
somewhat inollilled by this Hash of his
own wiL
"Henry Gadwall! Why. it says on
tlie wrapper that it Is made from pure
ly vegetable oils."
"Then if that's so It must be made
from horseradish." he retorted, escap
ing from the room.
After that It became a common sight
to see Henry Gadwall staggering home
under a load of soap. Somehow the
large cakes softened and melted mys
teriously In the water and did not last
It made what Mr. Gadwall called a
"violent" lather, which was the only
quality borne out by the highly color
ed advertisements.
At first all the Gadwalls used Rub
ble Froth soap, but after little Horace
Gadwall's te'ider skin had broken forth
in an alarming eruption, which the
family physician declared to be due to
the use of the sonp, his cake of ens
tile was restored to his tittle fingers,
and one memlier of the family was
freed from the thralldom of the new
cleanser.
Mr. Gadwall was the next desertet
from the ranks. He claimed that the
new soap did not properly cleanse,
that It's perfume was disagreeable,
nnd. niorcovr. that It chapped his
skin. As cold weather was coming on.
he could testify to this latter fact by
displaying cracked nnd bleeding fin
gers nnd lips from the too vigorous
use of the .! u.
An for Mrs. Gadwall, as time went
on she grew to hate the very sight ot
Bubble Froth soap. Her washerwom
an complained that it did not properly
cleanse the clothes. Her maid protest
ed that it was useless for dishwashing.
Her own experience was that It was
ruining her own good complexion, and
still with a persistence worthy of a
better object she stuck to the soap,
although in the cellar there was accu
mulated a formidable pile of unused
cakes on a shelf in
a dark corner.
while Mr. Gadwall made his periodical
purchases of soap and Mrs. Gadwall
saved the wrappers.
The parlor lamp loomed up largelj
on the horizon now. Mrs. Gadwall had
made a trip to town nnd looked at the
articles displayed in the large pre
mium rooms of the Hubble Froth people
and she came home with renewed con
fidence nnd enthusiasm concerning a
very handsome lamp she had seen.
"Wrought iron base, Henry, and has
an art shade highly ornamented with
art glass iu amber, nnd it has a long
beaded fringe. It's just beautiful!"
"Very well, my dear; I'm glad you
like it," returned Henry Gadwall. who
was quite weary of the lamp by this
time. In gloomy moments he had de
clared that his dishes, his clothes and
his home smelled raukly of Hubble
Froth soap.
Mrs. Gadwall had changed three
washerwomen ou account of the soap,
nnd she had only retained Hridget be
cause she had promised that hard
working damsel her own choice of
soaps if she would remain. Then there
were more unused cakes added to the
pile in the cellar, and after awhile no
one in the house used it. but Mrs. Gad
wall continued to purchase it, for the
lamp was a tangible thing now, with
only ten more soap wrappers standing
between it and the Gadwall's frout
parloi
At last one snowy morning in Febru
ary Mrs. Gadwall untied the small
package her husband had brought
I home the night before and disclosed
the last tea cakes of soap that she had
asked him to purchase. Gayly she
stripped off the wrappers and once
more counted the total number she
possessed 184 at last!
Half nu hour after luncheon she
came into the kitchen dressed for out
doors. "Hridget." she announced, "I'm
going Into town on the 2:0?,. You will
look after little Horace when he wakes
from his nap?"
"Yes, ma'am," said Rridget cheerfully
ns her mistress laid a shining hall
dollar ou th? kitchen table. "I'm
afraid you'll be bavin' a terrible time
of it. It's ralnin' now and freezin' ns
it falls."
"I shall probably return with Mr.
Gadwall," said she hastily, "and. oh,
Bridget!"
"Yes, ma'nm."
"If the charities department wagon
should call for contributions you can
give them a'.l that soap iu the cellar."
"Yes, ma'am there'll be 142 cakes
I'm thlnkln'," returned Hridget.
Mrs. Gadwall clutched the bag con
taining her soap wrappers nnd walked
warily to the station. It was all up
hill, and she had to tramp in the mid
dle of the snowy road. It was raining
and freezing as it fell. She told her
self that they would have to take n
cab when she and Henry returned thnt
evening.
Hut somehow she missed her hus
band. Delayed street tratlie made her
late in reaching his ollice, nnd he had
departed for home on nu earlier train,
so his stenographer said. "On account
of the storm." the young woman had
added.
Mrs. Gadwall was late in reaching
the premium store of the soap com
pany, but nt last she surrendered her
precious wrappers and received in re
turn a large and showy lamp with
much "art" glass In its makeup.
"Shall we send it, madam?" Inquired
the clerk, but Mrs. Gadwall recollected
that the Colvins were coining over to
play cards that evening, and she want
ed the lamp to display to their admir
ing and possibly envious eyes.
"I will carry it If you will wrap It
carefully," she said, and In spite of his
protestations against the ley and In
clement weather Mrs. Gadwall set forth
with two huge bundles, one containing
the lamp and the other the precious
"art" glass globe.
She dismounted from the train nt
Lawn Villas with several other com
muters, who. laden with bundles, rail
ed at the delayed service on the line.
The storm had ceased, stars shone over
head, but underfoot the walking was
icy and treacherous.
At different turnings one nfter nu-
other of her fellow travelers left her
until Mrs. Gadwall had to make her
way down her own dimly lighted
street alone. She passed the Colvins'
house and. seeing a light In an upper
room, decided that they were preparing
for their card game.
The sight caused her to hasten her
steps. Faster she walked, noting with
satisfaction that Henry had cleared
the walks in front of their place nnd
wondering why he had not come forth
to meet her. The lain) nnd shade were
fearfully heavy, and her arms nched
from carrying theut, ns well ns her
clumsy fur muff.
She managed to open the gate with
nn elbow and started down the walk
toward the front door, which flew open
at that Instant, disclosing the anxious
uee of Mr. Henry Gadwall.
'Is that you, Sarah?" he nsked.
P.efore Mrs. Gadwall could reply her
weary feet struck n bit of ice nnd
treacherously deposited her in a crash
ing heap nt the foot of the front steps.
"What Is nil this?" demanded her
husband nfter he had picked her up
nnd assured himself thnt she wns un
harmed. "What Is nil this broken
stuff. Sarah?"
"My my my lamp my my Bubble
Froth soap premium!" sobbed Mrs.
Gudwall ou her husband's shoulder.
AN EFFECTIVE TRIO.
The Stout Man, the Parson With a
White Tie and the Corkscrew.
The smoking car was so dull that
when the stout man produced a bot
tle his seat mates three of tlieia
smiled in joyous relief.
"Who's gotta corkscrew?" he de
manded. Nobody responded. The stout man
looked around. Across the aisle was a
thiu person in a shabby black suit and
a white tie. lie was reading, iu a
shortsighted way. a gilt top volume
with a limp cover.
The stout man leaned forward.
"Bettcha a tenner th' parson has a
corkscrew," he hoarsely whispered.
"Done," said the man with the gray
side whiskers.
The stout man leaned across the
aisle.
"Beg pardon." ho said, "but have
you such a thing as a corkscrew
about you?"
The man with the white tie hesitat
ed. For a moment he seemed pained.
Then he flushed a little, nnd reaching
down Into his pocket drew out the ar
ticle they wanted.
Ten minutes later the stout man
said lie was going back to look for a
friend. At the next station the white
tie man gathered up his goods and
chattels and left the car. Then came
the conductor.
"Did Fatty Frost nnd 'the parson
show you any of their team work?" he
laughingly asked.
"Team work!" echoed the side whisk
ered man.
"They're the cleverest swindling
pair in the country," said the conduc
tor, and passed on. Cleveland I'lain
Dealer.
RED TAPE AND A BATH.
Curious Experience of a Visitor In a
Little French Town.
St. Lo. a little town in the Manche
department in France, has no public
bath house such as those found In most
French towns and cities, for the pri
vate bath In France is yet. ns it were.
In its Infancy. The youngsters of the
town bathe in the Vire. but the IL',000
other inhabitants think themselves
above such a thing ns n bath. Visitors
can get n bath, it is true, but they must
order four liters of water, all that they
are permitted, and it is taken to them.
Not long ago n visitor iu the town
wished to take a bath. He went to the
hospital to usk permission to take a
bath there, as In Brittany this is the
custom in towns where there is no pub
lic accommodation. The visitor's re
quest was received rather coldly, nnd
he was told that he would have to
make his request iu writing to the di
rectors of the hospital. This he did and
patiently awaited a response. None
came, and the visitor left town.
Two days later the response came
nnd followed him from town to town
throughout France, not catching up
with him until he had returned to
I'aris.
The response was ns follows:
"M. is exceptionally authorized
to take n bath nt the hospital on con
dition thnt he is able to justify by n
medical ordinance that this medica
ment is necessary to his state of
health." Exchange.
A Gentle Rebuke,
Lady Dorothy Nevill iu her reminis
ccuces relates how Queen Victoria
once rebuked n certain mistrees of the
robes for unpuuctuality. A day nnd
hour had been appointed for a public
ceremony in which the queen was to
take part. The hour had arrived, nnd
of nil the court the duchess alone was
absent. The queen gave vent more
than ouce to her Impatience, and at
last, just as she was about to enter
her carriage without her lirst lady of
honor, the duchess In breathless haste
made her appearance, stammering out
faint words of excuse. "My dear
duchess," said the queen, smiling, "
think you must have a bad watch.
and she unloosed from her neck the
chain of n magnificent watch which
she herself wore and passed it round
the neck of the offender.
How Some Turks Tell Time.
Though comparatively few of the na
tives of Turkey own watches, yet they
have an Ingenious way of npproximut
lug the time, and some of them hit it
with considerable accuracy. They lo
cote two cardinal points of the compass
and then, holding their hands together
in such a manner that the forefingers
point upward and in opposite diree
tions, they observe the shadow cast In
the morning or evening at certain
known hours one linger or the other
will point directly nt the sun. A com
pnrisnn of the two shadows will detei"
mine the hours betweeu.
A Case For Sympathy.
"I have three children who are the
very image of myself." said Jones en
thusiastically.
"I pity the youngest," returned
Brown quietly.
"Why?" asked Jones.
"Because he Is the one who will have
to resemble you the longest," said
Brown. Loudon Tit-Bits.
Both Satisfied.
"I should like to break it off. but 1
can't bear to give up this diamond
ring."
"Then why don't you tell him so?
He told me he'd be willing to lose the
ring If he could get out of the engage
ment" The Parting.
Aunt (to engaged niece) So DTenry
went awny yesterday. 1 henr. Parting
Is very painful. Isn't It? Niece I
should sny so. Every rib In my body
is aching today. Kliegnde Blatter.
FLOWERS OF THE NIGHT.
They Are Usually Pure White With
Peculiar Glow.
As we all knvw, there are both day
blooming and night blooming dowers.
The former are geuerally decked In
red, blue, yellow or purple and have
lines, spots or markings on their petals
which often act as guides to the uec
taries which are visited by the beea
and butterflies.
The night blooming flowers, on the
other hand, invite the visits of moths
or other night flying insects and there
fore have recourse to something like
the tasks of the fireflies and the glow
worms. They are usually pure white
and have such a peculiar texture that
they seem to glow with Internal light
In the dim shades of evening.
At times you might almost fancy
that they were stained by nature with
some forerunner of luminous paint, so
clearly do they reflect every visible ray
of the faint twilight They thus suc
ceed in catching the eyes of the moths.
which, of course, are modified espe
cially for perceiving and receiving the
slight stimulus of the dusk and gloam
ing.
But the nocturnal flowers have no
lines or spots, lecnuse these Inst could
never be perceived in the dim gloom
of the evening. They mnke up for It
however, by being very heavily scent
ed. Indeed, almost all the strong
white flowers, which nre such favor
ites with florists, such ns jasmine.
tuberose, gardenia, stephnnotls. sereus
nnd syrlnga. which belong to the night
blossoming plants, are especially adapt
ed to attract the senses of winged noc
turnal Insects. St Louis Globe-Democrat.
A Soft Answer.
Actress (angrily) Did you write that
criticism which said my impersona
tion in "The Abandoned Wife" was a
miserable failure? Critic Ye-y-e-s.
You see. you looked so irresistibly
beautiful that it was Impossble to fan
cy that any man could abandon you.
A Worse Stage.
Mrs. Crawford Now that the honey.
moon is over I suppose you find your
husband has grown economical with
his kisses? Mrs. Crabshaw lie hrs
reached a worse stage than that, my
dear. He has grown economical with
his money. Illustrated Bits.
r
EBBZ
HELD BY A COBRA.
Agony of a Prisoner In a Military Jail
In India.
In the military cantonments of In
dia the punishment cells, which are
nbout fourteen feet high by twelve
feet square, stand separately. There
are no windows, but one side is a
grille, the iron bars lelng about five
Inches apart.
On one occasion when a private was
confined In one of them a large cobra,
one of the most deadly reptiles In In
dia, crawled between the bars and
wriggled on to the bed to get warmth.
It curled upon the prisoner's chest, and
he wns just about to turn over when,
feeling the unusual weight, he saw
the snake's glittering eyes staring into
his face. He dared not move, so he
had to lie in thnt position for four
hours.
AJ 8 o'clock, when the sergeant went
his rounds, he saw the position the
prisoner was In and went for a long
stick. With another soldier he enter
ed the cell, nnd they drove the snake
Into n corner, where they killed It.
The colonel released the prisoner, as
he thought he had suffered enough
punishment in the terrible experience
he had gone through. The man's bnlr
had turned white with the mental
strain which he had endured. London
Standard.
Advice From Her Lawyer.
Timothy Collin, who was prominent
at the Bristol county bar in the last
century, once secured the acquittal of
an old woman accused of stealing a
piece of pork. As she was leaving the
courtroom she put her hand to her
mouth and In audible whisper said:
"Mr. Carlin. what'll I do with the
por-ruk?"
Quickly came the retort: "Eat it. you
fool! The judge says you didn't steal
It" Boston nerald.
Sure of His Umbrella.
Departing Guest Dear me, what a
wet night! I wonder If you could give
me the loan of an umbrella? Host
Certainly, but well, the fact is, I think
I would be the better for a walk. I'll
Just take a turn home with you and
shelter you by the way.
The shortest life Is long enough If It
lead lo a better, and the longest life is
too short if it do not Colton.
Z3BBBESI
SOME merchants will give you bet
ter goods, some will save you
money, some are cutting the profits
way down to interest you, but you
lose all the opportunities if you "skip
the ads."
Ashland Tidings
CURE YOUR KIDNEYS.
Ashland Sufferers Should Take No
Further Risk.
Why will people continue to suffer
the agonies of kidnew complaint,
backache, urinary disorders, lame
ness, headaches, langour, why allow
themselves to become chronic inva
lids, when a tested remedy is offered
them?
Doan's Kidney Pills is the remedy
to use, because it gives to the kid
neys the help they need to perform
their work.
If you have any, even one, of the
symptoms of kidney disease, cure
yourself now, before gravel, dropsy
or Bright's disease Bets in. Can
Ashland residents demand more con
vincing proof than the following:
Mrs. Henry Nutt, 4 00 Ishem street.
Grams Pass.. Ore., says: "A mem
ber of my family Buffered greatly
from gravel and pains across tho
back. Doan's Kidney Pills complete
ly cured the person referred to. We
always keep a supply of this remedy
in the house and whenever we have
bfckache, Dean's Kidney Pills bring
prompt relief. I willingly give
Doan's Kidney Pills my endorse
ment." For sale by all dealers. Price 50
rents. Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo,
New York, sole agents for the United
States.
Remember the name Doan's
and take no other.
NOTICE FOR PUBLICATION.
Department of the Interior, U. S.
Land Office at Roseburg, Oregon,
December 18, 1912.
Notice is hereby given that Orrin
M. Wilson of Talent, Oregon, who,
on October 24, 1907, made Home
stead Entry Serial No. 04328, for
NW V Section 8, Township 40 S.,
Range 1, west of Willamette Merid
ian, has filed notice of intention to
make final five-year proof, to estab
lish claim to the land above de
scribed, before W. II. Canon, United
State3 Commissioner, Medford, Ore
gon, on the 7th day of February,
1913.
Claimant names as witnesses:
William Fox, of Talent, Oregon.
George A. Biner, of Talent, Ore
gon. George Trask, of Talent, Oregon.
Alonzo Wimer, of Talent, Oregon.
B. F. JONES. Register.
First publication, December 23,
1912. 60-12t
1