I
INDEPENDENT ON ALL SUBJECTS, AND DEVOTED TO THE INTERESTS OF SOUTHERN OREGON.
ASHLAND OREGON FRIDAY, JULY 30. 1830.
VOL V—NO 8
J M. McCa’.L
ASHLAND TIDIKGS.
W. H. Atkinson
W. A. Wilihlra
McCall, Atkinson & Co.,
Iixued every Friday,
-----B T-----
Ashland Oregon.
LEEDS At MERRITT.
OFFICE—On Maia Street, (in ee-jond etory of McCall
* Baum*. new budding )
Job Printing.
Of all doKriplion» done on (bort notice. Legal Blank«,
OiTMlara. Busin: m Cards, Billheads, Letterbeads, Pos­
ter«, ate., gotten up in good style at living prises.
Oee copy. one yew................. ...........................
S'-’
‘‘ aix
...._..... —............... —............ 1
six m
in >ntha
>ntl>s ...
“ •• three month«
month«................ —....... ... ............ - 1
Sub rate., «lx copie. for .................................. -—12
ferwu in adv »ace.
M
5®
0°
MJ
Term* of Advertlsiaxi
UN AL.
On« aquare (ten line« or le««) 1st insertion........ „..#2 W
Each additional inMttion .................................... — 1 00
LOCAL.
Local «otioca per line .............. -.....................................10«
Bcfular advertisement. ineertod upon liberal term».
DR. J. H. CHITWOOD,
:
:
:
We are now receiving our New Spring
Stock, and everyday will witness
additions to the largest
stock of
General Merchandise 1
Ever brought to this market. We de­
sire to say to every reader of
this paper, that if
PROFESSIONAL.
:
NEW GOODS!!
NEW PRICES!!!
Term* of Sobaeri^tion:
ASHLAND,
NEW FIRM!
OREGON.
Standard Goods!
At the Ashland Drug Store.
OFFICE
JAMES R. NEIL,
ATTORNEY-AT-LAW,
Jacksonville, Oregon.
J. W. HAMAKAR,
PUBLIC,
NOTARY
Linkvilla, Lake Co., Oregon.
OFFICE— In Poet Office building. 9pecial attention
Ivan to conveyancing
M. L M’CAU.
PURVEYOR <k CIVIL ENGINEER,
Ashland, Oregon.
la prepared to do any work in his line on «hort notice.
DR. W. B. ROYAL,
Has permanently located in Ashland.
Will give hi» undivided attention to the practice of
median«. H*e had fifteen yean’ experience in
Oregon. Office at his residence, on Main elreet,
opoceite the M. E. Church.
;
:
:
For Staple and Fancy Goods, Groceries,
Hardware,
Clothing,
Boots,
Shoes, Hats, Caps, Dress
Goods, Crockeiy, Glass
and Tin Ware, Shawls,
W rappers,Cloaks,
And, in fact, everything required for the
trade of Southern and South­
eastern Oregon.
IRON AND STEEL
DENTIST.
:
HEADQUARTERS !
A full assortment of
DR. E. J. BOYD,
Link ville,
Sold at the Lowest Market Prices, will
do it, we propose to do the larg­
est business this season, ever
do"e in Ashland; and
we can positively
make it to the
advantage
of every one to
call upon us and test
the truth of our assertions.
We will spare no pains to fully
maintain the reputation of tho House,
As the acknowledged
:
Oregon.
For Blacksmiths’ and General use.
Office »nd residence, south «ide ot Main »treat.
A Full Line of
DR. J. M. TAYLOR.
DENTIST
SURGEON.
Main street, Ashland, Oregon,
OFFICE—In «econd «tory of Masoni« Hall. Office
hour«, from 8 to 12 A. M . .»d from l:-0 to 5 p. M.
Ashland Woolen Goods 1
Flannels, Blanket«, Cassimeres, Doeskins,
Clothing, always on hand and
for sale at lowest prices.
The highest market prices paid for
Wagon Manufactory. Wheat, Oats, Barley, Bacon, lard.
■«CALL, ATKIMSOM A CO,
A.HL.ND, April 10, 1890.
-
’ ™ T
—--- 1 ■ -
W. W. Kentnor, Prop’r,
ASHLAND.
MAIN STREET,
Wagons, Buggies, Carriages, Wheel
Bariows, Plow-Stocks, etc., made
and repaired at sh.'rt notice.
BEST EASTERN STOCK ALWAYS
ON HAND.
All orders left at my new shop, north
of the bridge, will receive prompt and
■atisfactcry attention.
W. W. KENTNOR.
"
JAMES THORXTON,
JACOB WAONER,
w. H. ATKINSON,
E. K. ANDERSOM.
THE
ASHLAND
WOOLEN
MÁÑÜFAC’G
CO.,
ARE NOW MAKING FROM
A
Jacob Wagner.
----- —
E. K. Anderson.
W. H. Atkinson.
.
THE
ASHLAND MILLS !
We will continue to purchase wheat
-AT-
The Very Best
NATIVEWOOL!
BLANKETS,
The Highest Market Price,
And will deliver
Flour, Feed, Etc.,
Anywhere in town,
CASSIMERES,
DOESKINS,
AND HOSIERY.
at mill prices .
Waxner, AmlerMB
FLANNELS,
<'•.
ASHLAND
Livery, Sale & Fend I our patrons !
STABLES,
Main Street,
:
:
Ashland.
I have constantly on hand the very best
8ABDI.E HOMES.
■V«ttlE» AMD CAMBI AGES,
OLD AND NEW,
Are invited to send iu their orders and
are assured that they
SHall Receive Prompt Attention !
At Prices that Defy Competition.
And can furnish my customers with a
tip-top turnout at any time.
HORSES BOARDED
On reasonable terms, and given the best
attention. Horses bought and sold
and satisfaction guaranteed in
all my transactions.
• h . p. Pamirs.
ASHLAND WOOLEN MILLS.
W. H. Atkinson,
SECRETARY
A Tale of Lookout Mountain.
For gallantry at the battle of Shiloh,
John Marsha’1 was promoted* to Lieu
tenant of artillery. How he saved bat­
tery M, Fifth Regiment, is a matter of
record in the war archives at Washing­
ton. It is not that which this article
has to treat, but a subsequent and even
greater exploit
At various' times and places one of
the Journal’s young men had heard of
what John Marshall had done at Look­
out Mountain, and so one day he made
up his mind to have tho whole story
from the veteran’s lips.
Mr. Marshall is a veteran of the Eng­
lish army, having served thirteen years
in the artillery. In those thirteen years
he learned the duty of an enlisted man
in thia branch of the service thoroughly.
But to come to the story: In October
and November 1863, Hooker’s army lay
in tho valley overlooked by Lookout
Mountain, which in tho latter month
they so gallantly stormed. Right on
the point of the promontory the rebel
signal corps had a flag Btation estab­
lished. From this point all of Hooker’s
manoeuveres could be seen and intelli­
gence immediately telegraphed by means
of the signal flag to General Bragg.
Thus it will be seen that it was desira­
ble to shoot away the flag.
Across the Tennessee at Moccasin
Point the six ten-pound Rodmans and
the Eighteenth Ohio Battery were plant­
ed. John Marshall was Lieutenant of
the Eigteenth Ohio Battery. He could
see the flaunting flag of the rebel signal
station as it waved its intelligence day
by day. and it taunted him. He knew
he could cut it down with one of the
Rodman guns ; but his captain frowned
on his presumption in pretending to
know more than his superior officers ;
for had not General Brannan, Chief of
Artillery of the Army of the Cumber­
land, said that it couldn’t be done? What
business had a lieutenant to boast him­
self being able to do what the Chief of
Artillery had declared officially could
not be done ? •
For that flag had annoyed others be­
sides Marshall. It annoyed* those high
in authority so much so that at the in­
stance of General Hooker, General
Brannan, Colonel Barnett and Major
Mendenhall came over trom Chattanoo­
ga with the express purpose of ascer­
taining if a gun could be trained from
Moccasin Point so as to send a shot
that would bumble that taunting flag.
They came to the unanimous conclusion
that it was impossible, on account of the
great elevation.
John Marshall watched tho estimating
with interest, and when the conclusion
was announced he stepped up, and touch­
ing his cap in military style, said to Gen.
Brannan :
“General !”
“Well, sir.”
“If you will give ma permission to
try, I think I can shoot the flag off
there 1”
The General looked at him sternly a
moment, and then said :
“Go to your quarters, sir, under ar
rest!”
But this was not the end. The Eigh­
teenth Battery was attached to General
Whittaker’s brigade, and bluff General
Whittaker took more stock in Marshall
than did the austere Brannan. He had
a fellow feeling with him, too; for the
flag was a thorn in the flesh to him.
Every morning he would take his glass
and look to see if the flag was still
there, and invariably as he took the
glass from his eyes a big, big D— epi­
thet exploded wrathfully from his lips.
He was wont to talk with Marshall
about it
“Marshall,” he would say, “you are
sure you can shoot dow'n that d—d
flag ?’’
“I can, sir.”
“But you know what Gen. Brannan
says, Mars tall ?”
“I de, sir. But with all respect to
Gen. Brannan, I maintain that I can do
it”
One night Whittaker sent for Mar­
shall to come to his headquarters. When
he got there he said :
“Marshall, I’ve been to Chattanooga
to-day, and I’ve signed my name to $600
for you.”
Signed $600 for me; why, what’s that
for, General 1”
“Well, sir, I am going to have you
try at that flag, and General Brannan
says that you will burst a gun, and I
have gone security to the amount of
$600, and to-morrow morning you shall
make the trial.”
John Marshall went back to his quar­
ters that night a happy man. He was
now to have an opportunity to show
that he could do as much a* he had said.
He felt the hour of his triumph approach.
In the morning after breakfast Gen.
Whittaker came down to the Point His
gun squad was there in perfect drill, for
he hod shown them so often he would do
it if he could only get permission, snd
they had taken so much interest, that
each man was proficient in his part.
The General took hi* place where he
could watch the effect of the shot He
was a little Anxious.
“Now, Marshall,” he said, “be careful!
Don’t you explode a gun and kill me,
yourself and half a dozen men.”
“Never tear, General,' responded
Marshall confidently. “I’ll hurt no gun.
Now watch where the first shot goes.”
Everything was in readiness, and Mar-
shall pulled the lanyard. Gen. Whitta­
ker took tho glasses Lorn his eyes and
said:
“Too high, Marshall, too high! It
went a hundred yards above the flag.”
“Yes, sir, I know (hat, and the next
shot will be fifty yards above it.”
And the next shot was fifty yards
above ii.
“Now, General, this time I ll fetch
the flag.”
The gun boomed. General Whitta­
ker looked for the flag. At last he burst
out, “By ------ , Marshall, ghe’s gone!”
In his delight he forgot the distinctions
of rank, and, handing his glass to a pri­
vate of the gun squad, told him to take
a look. The soldier did so, and corrob­
orated the General. The glass passed
around, and] all saw that the fl ig was
gone.
General Whittaker went to Marshall
and said: “Marshall, my man, I con­
gratulate jou. I’m going right over to
Chattanooga and tell Gen. Brannan that
the Eighteenth Ohio battery knows more
than lie does. ”
Gen. Brannan was an honorable, if a
strict officer, and when he heard that
Marshall had succeed in shooting the flag
he sent him his congratulations, and com­
mended him for his skill. But General
Whittaker employed Marshall’s triumph
even more than did Marshall himself,
and he always afterwards treated him
with great consideration and favor, and
he would rub his hands and laugh with
the intensest of relish whenever he had
occasion to relate how Lieut Marshall,
of the Eighteenth Ohio battery knew
more of practical gunnery than the Chief
of Ordanca of the Army of the Cumber­
land, and had forced him to take water
on an opinion.
Fresh News at Home.
Sacking of Porte Bello.
Nt ar by is the ruined cathedral, bear­
ing still vestiges of its former beauty.
All the gilded decorations have been de­
stroyed, and its shrine rifled of what­
ever of value it contained. But some
of the antique carving yet remains—the
marble pavements and the frpscoed walls.
Two or three bells still hang in the di­
lapidated tower, but the rest lie half
buried at the base. From these bells
the notes of warning rang when Mor­
gan began that terrific attack that ended
in the sack and ruin of the city in
1665. While the cannon thundered
from fort and castle, their wild, shrill
peal sounded clear and high amid the
frightful tumult, summoning all for gen­
eral defense. At the other extremity
of the street stands the dismantled fort
of Todo Hierro, half hidden by the en­
veloping foliage of the huge trees that
have taken root in and within its walls.
Here Morgan began his attack. He
had long had his eye on this point, the
fame of whose gieat wealth attracted,
while the strength of its fortifications
seemed to render an assault almost mad­
ness. Under the cover of night the
bold bucanneer crept up to the very
walls. Before the startled sentinel had
time to sound the warning “alerte,’
he was overpowered and brought io
Morgan, who wrung from him valuable
information that led to the capture of
the city. Then the attack began. The
roar of cannon and crash of fire arms
awakened the slumbering town. From
the beginning the buccaneers had the
advantage.
Soon the assault became
conquest, and turned into slaughter. It
w«s pitiless butchery. No quarter was
given; the shrieks of women and chil­
dren mutilated and tortured by the
cruel soldiery rent the air. The gover­
nor’s castle held out to the last, the gov­
ernor himself never faltering for an in­
stant At length priets and nuns, torn
from their cloisters, were forced to the
van of the attack, bearing scaling lad­
ders, that thus they might drown the fire
of the castle. Urged onward from the’
rear, they were mown down by their
own friends, who did not dare to listen
to their cries for mercy. When the gov­
ernor himself fell, covered with wounds,
a panic seized his followers, and the city
surrendered unconditionally. For sev­
eral daj s riot and debauchery reigned
among the buccaneers. The forts were
dismantled, the cathedral and churches
were stripped, the wealth of Porto Bello
plundered. At length, satiated with
their brutal bacchanalia, Morgan and
his men set sail for Jamaica, bearing
with them their spoils, and leav-
ing
a
heap
of
ruins
where
once had stood a beautiful and pros-
perous city. Porto Bello never recov-
ered from that terrible sacking. It re­
vived a little in time, but no sooner had
the tide of prosperity began to set to­
ward it than down swooped the ravag
era again, and under Admiral Vernon,
in 1739, gave it the finishing stroke,
capturing and dismantling it. Thus this
gem of the coronet of Spain, torn from
its setting, and trodden under foot by
the marauders, has, with the decline of
power in the parent country, sunk into
utter ruin. Where once Btretched an
open, fertile country, with broad fields
of vegetables and grain, with groves of
cocoanuts and pines, where the toil and
activity of man added beauty and use­
fulness to the gifts of nature, now, un-
pruued and ungarnered, her very lavish­
ness is destruction, and her fertility,
death. Decay and desolation are writ­
ten everywhere. Against walls and
towers that once stood in stately pride,
now lean the wretched bamboo huts of
the modern Porto Bellians, while the
rich merchants of Castile and Leon
have besn superseded by a mongrel race,
composed of the miDgled blood of the
negro, the native and the Spaniard, who
lounge away their lives amid the pleati-
tude of nature’s providing, without a
thought of the past or a care for the fu­
ture, content to exist as mere beneficia
ries of the land.—Letter to the New
York Times.
Mr. Francis E. MacMahon, son of
the well known Brooklynite, Patrick
MacMahon, and himself brought up in
this city, where he was born, has suc­
ceeded in London in adapting an instru­
ment, somewhat similar in principle to
the gold and stock indicator in use here,
applying it to the transmission and re­
cording of current news in clubs, private
houses, etc., and has achieved a great
furore over the instrument and its ac­
complishments. From letters written to
his father here, and from extended no­
tices in the English papers, it is learned
that the instrument, besides being in use
in great numbers in private houses, ho­
tels, etc., has won its way into such
clubs as the Conservative, the Turf,
Junior Carleton, Naval and Military,
Royal Thomas Yacht Club, Devonshire
County, Junior Army and Navy, Ral­
eigh, Whist, Victoria, Incorporated Law
Society and others. The Morning Post,
of April 21 st, says of it:
No peer, no member of the House of
Commons, should be without one of the
instruments, for not alone will it tell
him in plain Roman print, which can
easily be read, what is saying and who
is saying it, but the subscriber can see
trom the course of the debate whether
or not it is necessary for him to go down
to the House. The new agency, consist­
ing as it does of a very small limited
company, has been tested even by cer
tain evening journals and found not
wanting. On the contrary, throughout
the elections it kept its patrons more
speedily and perfectly correctly informed
than any other association.
To be fur­
nished with one of these news instru­
ments—as you c$n be for'a very moder­
ate outlay of fifty guineas a year—is to
be the proud possessor of a newspaper
of your own, and to be familiar with all
the news hours before it can possibly
appear in the evening journals.
When
a crucial division is on at the House,
when a great race is being run at Ep­
som, Ascot, Goodwood, distant New­
market, or more distant Chester, you
stand alongside your “ MacMahon” and
find the little instrument rapping out
the result of division, or race, or what­
ever it may chance to be that you are
waiting to know about.
Mr. MacMahon is justly proud of this
Soulful Eyes.
success of his son, and this feeling is
shared by every one who is interested in
An English woman having stood look­
the good repute abroad of this country,
and of his sharp-witted, intelligent coun­ ing at Mrs. Langtry’8 portrait in com­
trymen, wherever they may be.—:Brook- pany with ten other women, wrote to
the London Hour a, follows: I was con­
lyn Eagle.
siderably amused at the different com
Why an Arkansas Bey Was ments; “So that is Mrs Langtry, the
English beauty; well, I nev®r!’ “Don’t
Named “Judus Iscarut."
think much of her; I know a thousand
prettier women.” She'd better not come
A colored brother gives the following
to America and stand beside our girls.”
reason for naming his tenth son:
“Ah, said a sweet voice just at my el­
“Judus Iscarut,” says he:
bow, “but see the soul in her eye*.”
“Dot’s de boy’s name. Judas has And that was just what I wm looking
been slighted. Nobody has eber bad at Mrs. Langtry, as she represented
immoral courage ter name a chile after to us, is not beautiful, scarcely pretty,
dat man. But dat ain’t de main reason for once her female critic* were right;
why I named him Judus, I’se got de Bi­ we can do much better in America; but
ble ter stand me in gibbin de chile dat for myself, I feel that I have discovered
name.,’
her charm. Even in her portrait her
“How does the Bible sustain you in soft humid eyes are fascinating; imagine
desirir.? to perpetuate that namel" asked them in speaking, lighted with interest,
the magistrate.
glowing with pleasurable excitement.
“Hits dis fack. Chris’ in remarkin’ The remainder of her features are shape
ob Judus said dat it would hab bin bet­ ly, scarcely more; her figure slight; but
ter fer dat man if he hadn’t bin bern.” her eyes—when you see Mrs. Langtry’s
“Well!”
portrait, look at her eyas.
“An’ considerin’ lo^ many moufs is
“Logan,” says the New York Tri­
opened at the doo’ when I goes home
wid a side ob meat, it would hab bin bune “ought to know that the Republi­
better for dat boy of mine ef he had can party can’t he bullied.” And El­
neber seed daylight. I take de scriptur’ mira Advertiser sharply answers: “Have
from de references. In de futur ef I the well meaning but ever enthusiastic
finds dat de boy has made improvement friend* of Mr. Blaine ascertained that
on hisself, I’ll change his name to Jim.” fact.”
$2 50 PER ANNUM
Love in Pa’s Hat.
Mr. M. was a retired manufacturer,
and possessed cf considerable fortune
He also had a daughter 19 years of age,
of great personal attractions.
What
wonder then that she should have made
many a youn^fellow's heart beat quicker
who tried to gain her virgin affections 1
But “papa” M. took care of his treas­
ure as if she were the pupil of bis eye,
and many were the unhappy mortals
who left his hospitable table never to
return.
“ Plenty of time,” said he,
“when the right one comes, and I ap­
prove,” etc.
But the right one had come long ago,
only papa didn’t know it, and he had
come in the person of a young engineer,
who had formeily had busiuess transac­
tions with papa M. The young people
had seen each other, spoken to each
other, looked at each other, and a kind
of understanding had been come to.
Yes, and the affection was deep enough
to last, even when Mr. M. retired from
trade and the young gallant had no
further excuse for coming on business.
Then there was a succession of dark
days. But love is inventive, and in this
instance also proved to be so.
Mr. M. was in the habit of visiting
twice a week at his hair dresser’s to
have his beard and wig looked after;
and on this fact love built his structure.
One of the younger assistants was taken
into confidence, and consequently, con­
siderable attention was paid by the
young man to Mr. M.’s hat, receiving it
on his entering, giving it a careful brush,
and banding it back on departure; and
in this wise poor, drar “papa” became,
unconsciously, of course, the postilion
d’amour between his daughter and her
swain.
Thus things continued for four or five
long months; but the best silk hat—let
it be ever so carefully brushed, wants an
iron now and again. Mr. M.’s hat was
several years old, and just about Christ­
mas it wanted ironing badly. So Mr
M., instead of proceeding to the hair­
dresser’s as usual, went to his hatter’s
and presented his hat for rennovation.
Mr. Hatter says, after inspecting it,
“Is this hat too large for youl”
“No; why do you ask?”
“Because you put paper inside.”
“Paper! paper? Not I; how does it
get there, I wonder?”
Not long did he wonder, for on care­
fully unfolding the paper he read : “Do
not be down hearted, dear Edward, my
father is good and generous of heart; let
us apeak openly to him of our love: he
will not say no if we promise to make
his old age happy. On my knees I will
confess my love to him. Besides, our
correspondence cannot last much longer;
the continued brushing has so worn
papa's hat that I fear from day to day
that he will have to have it done up,”
etc.
Mr. M.’s hat having been refreshed,
he went a.s usual to his hair dresser’s,
having previously carefully replaced the
letter.
In the saloon be kept a steady, though
covered, lookout on the officious young
assistant, and found his surmises coriect.
The operations finished, he gravely
received his hat, handed the assistant as
ususl his pour boire, and departed.
Before returning Lome, however, he
took occasion to inspect his hat, and ex­
tract and read a missive from no other
than the engineer. Among other things,
the young man swore that not a penny
did he want of his love’s father—bis
position, thank goodness, bringing him
more than sufficient to live happy and
comfortable.
“Well,” said papa, “he seems to be
an honestly-disposed young man, and
if,” etc.
For some time he allowed the corre­
spondence to go on, reading regularly
and watchfully the letters on both sides,
unknown to them of course, until one
day, when the letters had been particu­
larly desponding and good, he put an
end to it and made them happy, as may
be seen by the cards sent to all whom it
might concern. —Hairdresser’s Ch roni-
cle^
Suicidal Children
Our Hungarian cotemporaries report
a peculiarly painful case of double sui­
cide committed by two shepherd boys,
respectfully aged ten and twelve, near
Karlsburg. These lads were in charge
ot a flock of sheep turned out to graze
on some grass land abutting upon the
Karlsburg-Arad Railway, and had been
several times reproved by the watchman
stationed near their pasturage ground
for allowing the sheep to stray on the
line. On the 6th insL, just as the A rati
express came in sight, several sheep had
wandered clown the embankment and
were in imminent danger of oeing
crushed by the train, from which, how­
ever, they were rescued by the timely in­
tervention of the watchman in question,
who, as soon as the train had passed,
called up the boys and told them that
he would have them severely punished
for neglecting their duty and his relat­
ed warnings. The terrified lads held
a consultation together as to how they
might escape the threatened penalty,
and speedily came to the conclusion that
the best way of getting rid of their
scrape would be to drown themselves.
One of them had just had a new hat,
adorned with a gay jieacock s feather,
given to him, which he sold for thirteen
kreutzers to a little pheasant girl, who
had been at play with the boys when
the dreadful menace of punishment was
imparted to them. With the price of
this hat he purchased some small loaveB,
and the three children sat down by the
Maros to hold their “ Pamona,” or
death-feast, and this being terminated
the boys climbed the parapet of the Mû­
res bridge, their tiny playmate counted
aloud “ one, two, three, ’ and at the word
“three,” they sprang, hand-in-hand, in­
to the river, sinking immediately under
the broken ice with which the surface
of the rapid stream was partially covered.
—London Telegraph.
“ Raising” Setter Dogs.
A good story is told of a Rockville
sporting man. Having a tine litter of
setter pups—pedigreed stock—he was
taking special pains to give them a good
start in the world, and to this end it
was his custom to rise from his bed at
short intervals to feed them. It be­
came rather tedious business for nim
to “crawl out” during the cold Winter
nights to attend to their wants, so he
tried a new plan.
Setting a pan of
milk in a warm corner behind tho
stove, he went to bed, and in the small
lour* the young canines called for food.
Thinking to make one job ot it, he arose
in the darkness and carried the pan
carefully to the wood house, wheD seiz­
ing each pup by the nape of the neck
le thrust its nose into the pan, and
when all had “got to their work,” re­
turned to his bed. The next morning
le was roused by his wife, who wanted
to know what in the world he had dano
with her bread pan. Investigation fol-
owed; bis wife had wet up a batch of
iread and set it behind the stove to rise.
This pan our “shot” had carried to the
nips, and they, after gorging themselves
with dough, waddled back to their warm
nest. The yeast was good, and the pup-
ne* rose, looking like so many muffs,
with the head of the animal used for
trimming, while their tails and legs re­
sembled warts on an early rose potato.
The sportsman says he would have made
a pie ot them,eODly the crust would
have been inside instead of out.—New
Haven Palladium.
A Forgea Letter.
“I’ve got a letter here,” said Colonel
Solon yesterday, “which some one or
another is tryin’ to play off on me as a
reg’lar letter from Joe Kuntz,” and the
Colonel placed the letter on the desk. It
was neatly written, and Joe’s name was
signed to it correctly.
“Certainly, Colonel, that’s Joe’s let­
ter,” Baid we.
“No, sir-ree bob, no, sir,” said the
Colonel, very positively, “that air letter
is a forgery; coz Joe stutter« worse’n
whisky flawin’ outen a bottle, an’ this
ere
letter reads as straight as a mill
A Leap Year Idea.
race.”
And the Colonel wouldn’t be con­
Young Lady—Oh, Mr. Solima, 1 have
vinced
tbit Joe didn’t stutter in hi*
such good news to-day.
writing.
—Oil City Derrick.
Old Back—Delighted, delighted, what
is it?
Young Lady—Mamma is coming
Surplus of Symoathy.
home from Paris.
Old Bach.—Delighted, delighted.
Sympathy is valuable when it is ade­
Young Lady—You know this is Leap quate to the occasion. A poor tenant
Year, and I am going to propose.
went to his landlord on rent day and
Old Bach.—Delighted, delighted.
told him that one of his best cows had
Young Lady—And I am going to been choked to death. She tried to
propose to you.
swallow a turnip, but the obstinate veget­
Old Bach.—Del—no; let’s wait and able stuck fast and the cow died.
The
see what sort of a thing the mother-in- interested landlord demanded the details
law is.
_____ ________
and wanted to know’whether the tenant
was sure that it was a turnip that killed
The athlete who expect* to win in a
her.
“Yes,” was the reply, “ we cut
hurdle race, like the slumborer whose
her
open
and found it fait in her throat.
breast is the repository of many secrets,
“
Well,
sir,
” said the landlord, “lam
should never talk in his leap.
glad you got your tuhrip back. Now,
The great “ tyhee,” the world re­ how about the rent!”—N. Y. Herald.
nowned, star bangled spanner, the ‘ hvu’
A contemporaiy contains a long arri­
medicine man of the Missachohoganies
will soon be in town. “Hoopla ! big de entitled “ Effect of Smoking on
Boys.” It is not right to smoke on
Ingin me !’’
boys. It imparts a disagreeable oder to
An intoxicated Providence man asked their clothes, and when they go home
a railroad ticket agent for a ticket to they arouse suspicions in the minds of
Hades and was given one for Troy. He’s their mothers which are difficult to erad­
back now, and will let the agent know icate. The effect of smoking on some
that he didn’t want anything worse than boys would be a rock hurled at the head
of tho smoker.
he asked for.