Image provided by: Rogue Valley Genealogical Society; Medford, OR
About Ashland tidings. (Ashland, Or.) 1876-1919 | View Entire Issue (Feb. 13, 1880)
INDEPENDENT ON ALL SUBJECTS, AND DEVOTED TO THE INTERESTS OF SOUTHERN OREGON. ASHLAND! OREGON FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 13, ISSO VOL IV.---NO 36. ASHLAND TIDINGS Issued every Friday, — by — MERRITT. LEEDS OFFICE—On Main Straet, (In second story of McCall A Baum’s new building ) Job Printing. Of all description. dons on short notice. Lezal Blanks. Circulara Business CarJs. Billneads, Letterheads, 1 os- wrs, Sts., gotten us in good »tyl1* ** bring prices. Terms oí Snbscri^tios: Ose copy. • ne yea.- ........................... -.................... ....|2 50 “ ‘‘ six month................ -w........... 1 50 •• •• three mouth................................... I 00 12 50 Cii> rates. in eepte* tor .. ................... 1 . rtu io tUiiucC. Terms of Advertising: lsoxl . One squire (ten lims or les»; 1st insertion........60 Each additional insertion...... .................................... 1 00 LOO IL. 10o Local notiiN. per line__________ Refular *4vartneuienU inaertod upon liberal terina. PROFESSIONAL. DR. J. H. CHITWOOD, OREGON. ASHLAND, OFFICE At the Ashland Druz Store. JAMES R. NEIL, ATTORNEY-AT-LAW, Jack son vii lo, Oregon. J. W. HAM AKAR, NOTARY PUBLIC, Linkville, Lako Co., Orejón. OFFICE—Ip PoatOQc* building. S[>ecial attention iron to ocnveyancing. M. L. M’CALL, SURVEYOR dr CIVIL ENGINEER, I. prepared to do an.v work in hi* lma ou short notice. DR. W. B. ROYAL, H os permanently located in Ashland. Will gire hU undivided attention to the practice nf ■Mdiclne. Has hail fifteen .year*’ experience in Oregon. Office at his residence, on Main street, opposite the M. E. Church. DR. E. J. BOYD. ; : : : Oregon. Ofike and residence, south »ide of Main street. J Mob Wagber W. II. Atkinson E. K. Anderson. J. M. McCall & Go Main Street, Ashland. •5 THE ASHLAND MILLS I My baby’s the jolliest baby That anyone ever did see ; There is nothing angelic about him, The undersigned from anti after April But he’s just the right baby for me! 18th, propose to sell only for His smile not at all like a cherub’s, But rather a comical grin ; CASH IN HAND And his hair—well, it favors the sunbeams When sunbeams are wondrously thin. Or approved produce delivered—except His eyes, though they’re blue, like the when by special agreement—a short heavens, and limitedcrfblitjua-v be given. Are remarkably earthly with fun ; And his mouth's rather large for a rosebud, They have commenced receiving their Unless ’twere a half opened one. His hands don’t resemble a fairy’s New Spring Stock, and that every In at least they’re a strong little pair, day will witness additions to As you’d think, I am sure, if he’d got you the largest stock of As oft’ he gets me—by the hair ! And he isn’t a bit like a lily, Or any sweet blossom that grows, For no flower on earth I am certain, Has a dear little cunning pug nose, Ever brought to this market. They de He’s himself—full of mischief, the darling, sire to say to every reader of And naughty as naughty can be ; thus paper, that if And I'm glad that he isn’t angelic, For he’s just the right baby for me. General Merchandise! Standard Goods! Sold at the Lowest Market Prices, will do it, they propose to do the largest business this spring and summer ever done by them in the last five years, and they can posi tively make it to the advantage of every one to call upon them in Ashland and test the truth of their assertions. They will spare no pains to maintain, more fully than ever, the reputation of their House, as the acknowledged For Staple and Fancy Goods, Groceries, Hardware, Clothing, Boots, Shoes, Hats, Caps, Millinery, Dress Goods,Crockery,Glass and Tin Ware, Shawls, W rappers,Cloak 3, And, in fact, everything required for the trade of Southern and South eastern Oregon. IRON AND STEEL For Blacksmiths’ and General use. A Full Line of Ashland Woolen Goods I Flannels, Blankets, Cassinieres, Doeskins Clothing, always on hand and for sale at lowest prices. The highest market [trices’ paid for Wo will continue to purchase wheat —A T— The Highest Market Price, Wheat, Oats, Barley, Bacon, Lard. Come One ami All. Anywhere in town, AT MILL PRICE», Wsgner, Anderson A Co. ASHLAND Livery, Sale & Feed STABLES, .'•Inin Street, : J ________ J. M. McCALL A CO. And will deliver Flour, Feed, Etc., JACOB WAGNER, E. K. ANDERSON. JAMES THORNTON, W. H. ATKINSON, THE ASHLAND WO OLEN MANUFAC’G CO., ARE NOW MAKING FROM Ashland. : I have constantly on hand the very best RADDLE IIORMF.9, DIUUILS AMD CAKRIAUES, And can furnish my customers with a tip-top turnout at any time. HOUSES BOARDED On reasonable tenus, and given the best attention. Horses bought and sold and satisfaction guaranteed in all my transactions. II. F. PHILLIPS. ASHLAND 4 III MMARBLEM > WORKS. J. H. RI S’ELL, Proprietor. The Very Best NIAITIIIVIE! WOOL! BLANKETS, FLANNELS, CASSIMERE8. DOESKINS, AND HOSIERY. lOUR PATRONSt OLD AND NEW, Are invited to send in their order» and are assured that they 9 Having again settled in this place ajid turned my entire attention to the Marble Business, I am pre pared to till all orders with neat ness and dispatch. Monuments, Tablets, and Headstones, executed (gTin any description of marble. H^JTSpecial attention paid to or- ÿgTders from all parts of Southern ¿¿’"Oregon. Prices reasonable. SHall Receive ompl Attention ! At Prices that Defy Competition. ASHLAND WOOLEN MILL8. Address: J, H. Bussell, Ashland, Oregon I nave heard about babies angelic, With a heavenly look in their eyes, And hair like the sunbeams of morning When first they appear in the skies, And smiles like the smiles of a cherub. And mouth like the buds of a rose, And themselves like the lilies and dasies And every sweet flower that grows. NEW DEPARTURE. A full assortment of DENTIST. : MORRIS BAUM. HEADQUARTERS! Ashland, Oregon. Linkville, THR BABY FOB ME. 3. M. m ’CALL. W. H. Atkinson, SECRETARY Four Journalists* Wives. Four distinguished editors of great New York daily newspapers have en joyed a world-wide celebrity. Three— James Gordon Bennett of the Herald, Horace Greely of the Tribune, and Henry J. Raymond of the Times—be came founders of the journals that are to day monuments of their industry and intellectual ability. Of the fourth, Charles A. Dana, it may be said that he was the founder of the Sun, for the Sun, as it is to-day, must certainly be regarded as his creation. It would be interesting to know how much of the inspiration of active life they gather from their wives, who were or are women of more than average intelli gence and culture. Whoever sees the present James Gordon Bennett, that re members his mother, must perceive the great likeness existing between the two. A tall, finely formed woman, of com manding presence, with the same hue of complexion and hair and remarkable eyes that are a distinguishing feature in her son. “Watch eyes,” they are called, becauso of a perceptible white ring surrounding the pupil. Long ago some of tlie brightest letters that appeared in the columns of the New York Herald over the signature' of B. C. H., the initials of her name—Ilairiet Crean Bennett—trans posed, written from abroad by her, were read with pleasure and avidity. They were clever letters, betraying the keen wit and ability of the writer. Mrs. Greeley was a small woman, whose sallow complexion and attenuated figure betrayed the delicate health from which she suffered for years. An orig inal thinker, and one whose mental stores could always be reljed upon to produce something of value whenever' she could be prevailed upon to open to her friends the door guarding them. To thoso who enjoyed a familiar friendship with her, or who frequented her Satur day night receptions, nothing need be said to prove the large mental capacity with which she was endowed. One of her peculiarities was the penetration of her gaze. ThiB made a friend who knew her well to say, “ She just looks at you and knows all about it You might as well tell her first as last, for you can’t keep anything from her.” As Miss Mary Cheyne sfye was a successful teacher, and, perhaps, while engaged in that vocation her habits of close observa tion may have been contracted in the discharge of her duties toward her ju venile charges. Mis. Raymond, nee Emelinn Weever, resembled Mrs. Gr«e ley in stature. Bjnall and slight, the first look at her small plain face gave little indication of the force and culture which wero really hers. A woman of mind, who read extensively, she was an accomplished and charming conversationalist who speedily caused her listener to forget or never to think at all of her lack of beauty of feature. In the relation of wife and mother she was all that was admirable, and as a frequent contributor to the pages of the N. Y. Times the readers of that paper had ample opportunity to judge of the mental capacity which she possessed in no ordinary degree. Mrs. Chas. A. Dana, the only survivor of these four brilliant women, who were the home in spiration of great American editors, is now in the prime of life. Of medium height, slender and graceful, her face, a perfect oval, is lit by the large, luminous dark eyes peculiar to the brunette, of which she is a charming type. Intel lectual, graceful and slender, she is one of the most pleasing women to be met with to-day in any society. The Tal leyrand, it is said, had frequent cause to feel ashamed of his wife’s ignorance, al though he was proud of her beauty. Surely the men who may be called the fathers of journalism in America were more fortunate in their choice of com panions and helpers than was the illus trious French statesman.—Denver Trib une. The man who marries under the im pression that his wife gives up every thing for him—father, mother, brothers, sisters, and home—finds out sometimes that, however much the wife may have given up, the father, mother, brothers, sisters, etc., have not given her up. Postscripts. A New Motor. A lot of the human owls who flit Mr. A. D. Woodman, of Chicago, around the Palaeo Hotel barroom at claims that he has made discoveries as night, until daylight and the barkeeper to the disintegration and absorption of drive them home in the morning, were water that will revolutionize existing solemnly trying to outlie each other a theories. In other words, he has learned, few nights ago, when a big-footed, long he claims, the control of water, has armed miner came in and sat down in rendered it inflammable, aud has over- the corner. | come its inflammable properties. In “Yes,” said one of the party referred the course of an interview with an to, a curbstone broker who was general I nter O cean reporter, Mr. Woodman ly considered the most cold-blooded liar said : on Pine street; “yes, gentlemen, 1 have By the operation of my theory— had some mighty queer experiences on which really is no theory, as I have this coast. When I first came out I demonstrated its practibility—tho so- worked for three dollars a day in the called natural laws of nature can be old Ophir shaft, and I came terrible near overcome by man, and man can also pro losing my life once while up there, too.” duce the operation of such laws. It is “How’wz that?” asked one of the no longer a miracle in my eyes that the party, waking up to relight his cigarette. prophets of old called down rain from “Well, it happened this way—Ugh! the heavens. 1 can take one of my it makes me shudder to think of it, even disitegrating machines, constructed at now. You see, I was being hauled up a cost of $150, operate it and explode it, on the cage with another workman, and immediately after rain will begin when just after we had risen about five forming over the vicinity, and presently hundred feet I saw that the rope over there will be a shower. That idea sent our heads had unraveled and was ubaut abroad may declare me crazy, but 1 have to give way,” so well satisfied myself as to the causes “Great Scott!” said the barkeeper, of certain effects that I know 1 have who is one of the best trained lie abet mastered the problem. Another thing, I can construct a machine for the navi tors in the State. “It was a moment of frightful peril. gation of the air. Of course, the only Our joint weight was too much for the thing to do is to overcome what they rope. One of us must be sacrificed. I call the attraction of gravitation, and mentally contrasted myself with the this I know how to do. There are so other man. He a homely looking, many things to which the principle can whisky drinking, accordion playing be applied that I am staggered by the bachelor; I a prominent Knight of possibilities of my own discovery. I Pythias, with a brand new pair of boots shall confine my attention for the present on, and two loving wives, and say four to the water-burning question. In about teen children somewhere out on the two weeks I hope to give a public surface waiting for me. I seized tho demonstration of this wonderful truth, miserable wretch and hurled him down and am now engaged making the ma into the darkness. Heavens 1 His de chine for the purpose. I can convince 8pairlng shriek rings in my ears yet! the most skeptical of two things—that I Quick, barkeeper, a little more brandy.” really do burn water, and that I have “And you were saved, of course I ’ overcome the explosive properties of asken the big miner, getting up and ap water or steam. As a motor my inven proaching the story teller. tion will solve the problem Keeley has “Well, you see I’m here,” rqjoined the so unsuccessfully struggled with. He has: not learned how to control his forces. latter, blandly. “And the other man was smashed all I have. My first experiment was with to pieces, VO" think ?” a very complicated piece of machinery. I tested it, but alas, I found I had not “Think? Why, certainly. “That’s just where you’re wrong, old yet found the means to control the terri ble agency, and my machine went to hoss. I was that man.” “Why—why, it’s impossible. That pieces in no time, and I was greatly dis was fifteen years ago,” stammered the couraged. I persevered, however, and broker. produced this, aud won success. 1 shall “Exactly. I lit on a side beam, build no machine with a thumbscrew, about ten feet down, and was stooped because a reversal by an inexperienced up by the next cage, and for twenty person would cause a terrific explosion. years, I’ve been praying for a chance to They shall be built like thia, where there lick your hide clean off for your infernal can be no tampering with them from the outsido. Otherwise, my machine would selfishness.” “But this is tho most preposterous”— blow firo or steam according as it was gasped the broker, getting on the other regulated. This much I do not mind side of the table, as the big stranger de te’ling you. This verdone lies above the atmosphere and in tho center of the liberately * took his coat off. “Ob, it is, is it?” put in the other earth—for the earth has a hollow center. grimly. “You think I’ll have a man It is that which comes when needed to shy me down the Ophir shaft, and then create heat, life, or cold. It is affected go round telling aboqt it for the beer. by motion, and is the chief property of Now, J’ll te|l yoq what I’ll do. Set up life as 1 said. It is light. Tho proper the champagne for the whole crowd, and control of this will effect the cure of I’ll call it square. Ifjyou don’t, I’ll disease, and can be made to produce life. break every bone in your body with this The unit below the duo is life, and by the segregation of thia principle life is bungstarter.” And the fizz was accordingly set up, produced. Therefore, a machine ean be since when the broker has told the same made not only to cure disease, but to yarn with variations aver 800 times. actually produce particles of life. The He says he paid a big price for that » arrest or operation of verdone causes all story, and lie’s bound to get his money’s things, and verdono is the only property worth out of it, if it takes all Winter.— in the universe that can burn.” 9. F. Post. Pictures Taken in Hades Housing Implements. 82 50 PER ANNUM The Fatal Belt. Notes and Clippings. There was a widow lady of compara tive youth and many personal attractions residing in Canton, N. Y., who had, tor some time, unsuccessfully endeavored to induce the local dentist to accept the rank and emoluments of her late hus band. The dentist, however, was a cautious man, and, although he greatly admired the widow, declined to commit himself. About a month ago Esquire Sniedly, of Canton, gave a party, which was altogether the most brilliant affair of the kind within the memory of the oldest inhabitant. The parlor of the Smedly mansion was crowded with guests, who overflowed the hall, and rose gradually to the top of the staircase. In the course of the evening the widow became somewhat faint, in consequence of the heat, and requested the dentist to conduct her into the garden, where the fresh air might revive her. It did re vive her to an immense extent, and the dentist found the garden such a pleasant place that he decided to remain with his companion and smoke a cigar. When the pair returned to tho parlor a curious phenomenon attracted unusual attention. The widow wore a wide belt beautifully ornamented with a painted vine of some undetermined botanical species. The dentist wore a black coat, and, to the amazement of the public, one side of his right sleeve was seen to be decorated with the green stem and leaves and the brilliant white And yel low flowers of the vine that ornamented the widow's belt. The conclusion drawn by wicked aud heartless people was inevitable. There was no passible de fense to be made. The widow wisely slipped out and went home, and the den tist followed her example, burning with rage and wishing that all Canton had but one back-tooth, that he might draw it A-ith an old-fashion turnkey and with out the use of anaesthetics. Of course, the widow lost no time in pointing out to him that there was but one way in which he could repair his indiscretion and undo the injury which he had done her, and accordingly he was within a week brought to the altar, where he ex piated his fault with much fortitude, and furnished an awful examplo of the wickedness ot painted belts.—N. Y. Times. Governor Lenton, of New York, i* visiting California prison*. Something new, is the theory of Pro fessor Proctor, of New York, that th* moon does not go around the earth. Lewis Peterson, of the village of San Francisco, married bis niece and ha* since taken up a residence in the jail. It is difficult to understand why a wife never asks her husband “if the doors are all locked” until he is anughr covered up in bed.—Waterloo Observer. The Troy Times tells of an ember* rassed man who was asked to say grace, and reluctantly started thus: “Oh, lord, bless this table------ ” Just here, being unused to the business, he broke down, but by a gigantic effort pulled through with “World without ; end. ............................... ................... Yours respectfully, amen.” One of tho editors of the New York Mail, writing to his journal from Nevada City, Cal., says: Not one-tenth of the known California gold ledges are now being worked. Of the gravel mines, not one-fifth of their area has been even scratched by the prospector, yet some of these properties have yielded $100,000 per acre. A number of prominent Republican« of New Orleans have formed themselves into a body corporate, to be known as the “New Orleans Ledger Publishing Company.” The object of the associa tion is to publish a Republican news paper in that city. The first number will be issued January 3d. Ex-Gov. Michael Hahn was elected president of the Board of Directors and editor in chief. Congressman Aiken (Democrat), of South Carolina, -writing to a friend at Washington, says: I have reason to know that tho word “Democrat,” used in a partisan sense, is no less distasteful to a majority of the voters of the North and they are of the better classes. A solid South is a solid North, and simply means a house divided against itself, and as true as the book in which it was written will be the sequence of such a division. We have the solid South to-day; the solid North will com* so soon that it will seem like to-morrow when it is past My conviction is that the partisan does not live who can carry A Mistake Somewhere. New York as a Democrat; neither will tho Democracy carry Indiana. All else A rather unpleasant incident tran is Republican. If this result is inevit spired on the train to Cincinnati the able, as I verily believe it is, what al other evening, involving parties in social ternative have we ? »-i ■ scandal. A well-to do tradesmen was Our Boasted Glory. chatting with a dry goods clerk who was on his way to the city, and, in the course F. Largomarzino, the owner of valu of the talk, Mr. Tradesman remarked: “There’s a lady on a seat at the front of able property in San Francisco, who the car who is wearing an olegant seal has been a citizen of this country ever * skin sacque. Iler husband is a carriage since his childhood, in 1875 visited maker, a clever fellow, but he is not Italy the place of his birth, armed with able to buy such harness for his wife. a [»assport from Washington and hi$ He has either gone in debt for it or American naturalization papers. Ar she has found other means to obtain it riving there he was promptly arrested than from her husband’s pocket-book.” by the Italian officers and placed in the The clerk put on a knowing look and he army, where he has served three year*. said: “My dear sir, if you were a dry Part of the time he served as an ordi, goods clerk for a short time, you’d learn nary soldier, but, being a fine musician, a good manv^queer things. You’d get and having formerly belonged to a mili chunks of information that would make tary band in this city, he was placed in you open youv eyes, I tell you. How one of the bands of the Italian army, do they get sealskin sacques and all and his service after that time was those extras? Why, the other day a pleasanter and less arduous. He was despite his American citizen married lady called in to see our sacques. At length she picked out a beauty, 1 can ship held under a law which require* alt tell you. And then she said, ‘Here is Italians to give a certain length of ser-. 810 that my hubbv gave me to get a vice in the army to his native land, and sacque, as though I could get a sacque although the authorities at Washington for that sum. Just put my name on were appealed to and the Italian ie*i- this one and put it away. It will be dents here held indignation meetings called for, and the balance paid,’ and 1 and sought through the Italian censu she went away. The same evening a the release of their fellow countryman gentleman of means—not her husband— no attention was paid to the matter and called and paid the balance, and the Mr. Largomarzino served out his time. sacque was sent to his office; but that’s Letters to friends in this city bring the information that Mr. L is now free by often done.” “Who’s her husband “Don’t know who he is, but he’s a fool, the means of the expiration of his term or he’d know that his wife couldn’t buy in the army, and is on his way home, a 850 sacque for $10!* “Deuced queer 1” intending first to carry out his original exclaimed Mr. Tradesman, as he sudden plan of making a a tour through Europe. ly got up and walked to another part of He has a large circle of friends here the car. “Deuced queer,” he rejoeated. who will welcome him back with open “Why, it!------that is just what my arms and who will condole with him wife said her sacque cost, and I told her over the loss of three years of the best there must be some mistake about it!” part of his life, serving, as a soldier, a And then he went forward to the smok land which had no just claims to hi< services.—S. F. Post ing rar.—Cincinnati Gazette. Now is the popular time of tho year Few of thp gyeat European collec for every paragraphist who Knows as tions of painting are forlorn of works little about the business of the farm as illustrating the topography and archi they do about the properties of life, to tecture of Hades, as sketched out in abuse the farmers for not housing their Dante’s immortal verse. Society, how agricultural implements. It is usually ever, has hitherto yearned in vain for the first paragraph which country papers any authentic description of his Satanic clip from the city agricultural papers Majesty’^ dominions, illustrated by But the truth is farmers do carefully drawings executed on the spot; and it have their implements protected from has been reserved for Professor Leuchin, the weather at all suitable times. And of Moscow, to fill up this hiatus by a j their is no need of this general abuse work which he has just published, under of their characters. There is no excuse the title of “The Mysteries of Hell and for calling every broken down merchant, its inhabitants”—a folio volume, en inefficient mechanic, or any man who is riched by seventy photographs. Some too stupid or too ignorant to make a liv of these are portraits of the leading ing at anything, but who has been by native celebrities, while others repro poverty and craving appetite, driven on duce the process of torment most m a farm, to call him a farmer. A farmer vogue amongst the present administra is a term which means something. tors of the Tartarean penal code, in There are specimens of indifferent flesh his prefaee to this remarkable book the and blood who stick up a tin as a doc Cameron's Dream. learned professor gravely remarks: “We tor, for whom the profession should not have heretofore only been able, by the lie held responsible. Because a man Mr. Cameron dreamed when he was a aid of conjecture, to arrive at a dim ap ives in a carpenter shop he is not nec l>ov that he would be massacred by In prehension of the tortures that awa.t us essarily a carpenter. If a dead beat dians at the age of forty-seven. The in the subterranean realm; but, after rides on an engine, he is not therefore same vision was repeated ten years later, protracted and all but superhuman ex an engineer. Sweeping out a law office and with such vividness that every de ertions, succeeded in throwing light upon does not constitute the operator a law tail was left impress« 1 upon his memo all this more or less vague information, yer. In all departments of life it is ry. Ho was at a ranch near Brule ciiy, and in producing an absolutely authen necessary that a man should be skillful Dakota, a short time ago, when his forty tic description of Hell and its inhabit in any calling or occupation to entitle seventh birthday arrived. The place ants. Severely striking original photo him to the honor« and appellation per was alive with friendly Indians, but be graphs of eminent infernal personages, taining to his businest But more espe recollected his dream, and their presence and a faithful depictment of the last cially is this the case wdth farming. It made him excessively nervous. He went judgement will be found to represent takes more study than to make a lawyer to bed in trepidation, and to his horror, completely and exhaustively all thoso and more practice than to make a me as he afterward declared, the room was phenomena which have hitherto proved chanic. We wish the Worcesters or the exactly like the one of his dream. He insolubly enigmatical to humanity at Websters would coin a word by which fell asleep, and promptly dreamed that large.” It is to be regretted that the to designate the ignorant and stupid I tho Indians were scalping him. He professor Bhould have preserved a dolts who crawl onto farms and crawl bounded from the bed, leaped from the Sphynxian silence respecting the details after they get there. Thero ought to be window and fled, temporarily insane. In of his journey in the lower regions, and some way to know them, so that farmers the morning he was missed, and a large of tho (visits he must have paid to the will not be dishonored by their shiftless party of white men and Indians went in diabolical dignitaries who so amiably and do-nothing lives. search of him. It was three days before permitted him to photograph their ex Farmers take care of their implements. they found him, for he hid whenever he pressive lineaments. In enabling us, Tley carefully till their farms, preserv caught sighs of an Indian, and only however, to contemplate undoubted ing their fertility by judicious manage slowly recovered his senses. He was likenesses! of Lucifer, Ashtaroth, Bel- ment And they pay their c^ta.— naked and nearly dead with hunger.— zebub and sundry other distinguished Globe-Democrat Sun. _ characters of the same class, Professor W-' ’ t Leuchin has established a claim to our The home stretch is beet taken in the A fellow who is very soft is called a lasting gratitude.—London Telegraph. pianissimo chap. evening on the sofa. Worse than That. Just as good a young wife as ever lived approached us this morning with tears in her dark eyes and inquired “How much does a divorce suit cost!" Our answer was, “It depends, my dear, on whether your attorney is old and married, or young and good looking. But what is troubling you? Has the young fellow been and done and gone off with another female woman already t” “No—worse than that. I’m m dis tressed and humiliated I scarce know how to answer you. I—I—went to the auction yesterday, and—and I bid four dollars on a cradle, and it was knocked down to me; and when I asked for the money to pay for it, he—he—told me to sh—sh—shut up and not be a fool. I ain’t got no baby yet, Mister, but no one knows what may come to pass, and oh, it would be so handy to have had that cradle I” We went and licked that brute and took away the cradle, giving a promissory note thereof.— Carson Tribune. A country paper says: “Our account of the thunderstorm latt week contained a slight error—instead of hailstones as large as bullets, read pullets.” X