Lincoln County leader. (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, October 30, 1914, Image 3

Lincoln County leader., October 30, 1914, Image 3

Image provided by: University of Oregon Libraries; Eugene, OR

About Lincoln County leader. (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 30, 1914)

Prev Page of 8 Next Prev Issue Next Text PDF JP2 (3.2 MB) Clip/Print Image

Return to Top

Prev Page of 8 Next Prev Issue Next

Newspaper Page TextPOULTRY and Dairy Produce of all kinds 'wanted. Writ for our CASH OFFER Pearson-Page Co. JP SECOND-HAND MACHINERY Beusht, iold and exchanted: eng-lnee, boilera. nwmllkv etc. Send fur Stock Llet and Pricee, THE J. E. MARTIN CO. W l.t BU Portland. Or. TYPEWRITERS, ALL MAKES ri.t PHfm. REMINGTON ui SMITH PREMIER, $15 Ua. Machines shipped on approval and vuaran tor by Home concern. Write far samples of work, stating mak Dreferred. TYPEWRITER EXCHANGE, 351ft Wish. St., Ptrtlud, Or. NEW HOTEL HOUSTON Dave Houiten, Prop. H. B. Thoranea, Mat. Thoroughly modern. 101 Roomi of comfort. Mod erate Prirea, Three minutes' walk from Union liepoL W'riU for rata. 72 N. Sink St, PORTLAND, OR. DENTAL HEADQUARTERS FOR OUT-OF-TOWN PEOPLE Paannias rrrwi all narta tt ' Irefon and Washing .(lice for dental treat nent. Our akill ii ac nowledirHd. and our ... . V 'romptnetta In finish- ill vhenreriuirrd inappre- atrona. Dr. Wis ta a false. ooth expert. Trior in ALWAYS ONE BKST" n every caJlina. and )r. Wine laya claim to i n. 27 Yaan' naaitaci. What we can t ruar s antes wt don't do. LOW PRICES FOR HIGH-GRADE WORK. Good Red Rubber Plates, each $5.00 The Beat Red Rubber Plate-, ear. ... 7.50 2-Karat Gold or Porcelain Crow a 6.00 WISE DENTAL CO. RELIABLE PAINLESS DENTISTS. Phone Mala 102, A 102. 1224 Third Street. Failini Bide Portland. Orecoa 8. E. Cor. Third and Wajhint-ton. Don't Worry, Przemyel Plain Pzhem'lBl. Przemysl, which the Russians are attacking, according to Lippincott's Gazetteer, the New International Kn cyclopedia and the Standard diction ary, is pronounced Pzhem'lBl. The "i" as la general with Slavic languages, Is pronounced "zh," and the "r" Is elided by. the natural pro cess of rapid enunciation and the ten dency to render the consonantal com binations easier to pronounce. fr Eyre, Granulated Kyellda and Pure promptly healed, wita Roman Eye iial aan. Adr. Approaching Danger. Professors In a Massachusetts col lege are planning ways and means for pacifying their German colleague upon his return from Dresden. "What ever will the village do with a German con tact mine floating round on Its usually glossy surface?" the professors are asking. "We don't want him explod ing on the sidewalk." Communicated. Anybody can dye successfully with Putnam Fadeless Dyes. . Grouchy. "I understand Paris dressmakers are going to copyright their gowns." "Nonsense!" exclaimed Mr. Grow cher. "As fashions are going, there won't be enough of them to make room for a copyright notice." Wash ington Star. WAS MISERABLE COULDN'T STAND Testifies She Was Restored to Health by Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound. Lackawanna, N. Y. "After my first child was born I felt very miserable and -r-i could not stand on . 1myfeet, Mvaister- I in-law wished me to try Lydia E. Pink ham's Vegetable Compound and my nerves became firm, appetite good, step elastic, and I lost that weak, tired feeling-. That was six years aco and I have had three fine healthy children since. For female trou b'it I always take Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound and ft works like charm. I do all my own work. "Mrs, A. F. K reamer, 1574 Electric Avenue, Lackawanna, N. Y. The success of Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound, made from roots and berbs, is unparalleled. It may be used with perfect confidence by women who suffer from displacements, Inflam maUon,ulceration,tumors,irregularities, periodic pains, backache, bearing-down fecling,flatulency,lndigestion,dizzlness, or nervous prostration. Lydia E. Pink ham's Vegetable Compound la the stan dard remedy for female ills. Women who suffer from those dis tressing Ills peculiar to their sex should be convinced of the ability of Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound to re store their health by the many genuine and truthful testimonials we are con stantly publishing In the newspapers. If yon want special advice writs to Lydia F- Plnkham Medicine Co. (confi dential) Lynn, Mass. Yoar letter will Ira opened, read and answered by s woman aud held In strict confidence. P. N. U. NO. 40, WHEN wrltlna to adrertleere. pleeae aa. ' Ilea thle norm. Br.)"' Tui. !.W h?Sa :td aflf FABL . IN LANG The New Fable of How a Family lumped Out of Clasa B Into . the King Row. i Once there was a side street Quar tet consisting of Papa and Mamma and Gordon and Ethel. The ostensible Stroke Oar of this Domestic Combination was a Gradu ate of one of those Towns In which the Occidental Hotel faces the Depot and all Trains are met by a Popular Drayman wearing a Mack Sweater. When he elbowed his Way into the City, years before, his Assets consist ed of a Paper Valise, a few home laundered Garments and a small Volume telling how to win at Cards. In the refined Home where he ob tained his Liver and Macaroni paved with Cheese, ho met the Daughter of the Household. When there was a Rush Blie would some times put on all of her Rings and help wait on the Table, although her Star Specialty was to get the Stool at the right Ele vation and then tear the Vital Organs out of "Pansy Blossom" and "White Wings." The young Shipping Clerk UBed to fly to his Kennel and get himself all Gussled up and then edge Into the Parlor and turn the Music for Miss Livingstone, who looked to him llko Mary Anderson and sounded like Adellna Pattl. When tho Blue Envelope hit the Twenty Mark he saw that it would be Clear Sailing, so they began to Hold Hands and he bought a Spark Dia mond which could be seen held at a certain Angle. They went to Housekeeping In a stingy Flat with a l!ed Hint could bo stood on End during tho Daytime and made to resemble a Rook-Case, also a Plaster of Paria Lion on tho Mantel. About the timo Gordon was first tethered on the Flre-Escspe, the Pro vider got a Taste of Soft Collateral and began to wear Gold Bracelets on his Cigars. When Ethel was large enough to take Into the Park tho Graft bad de veloped until the whole Outfit moved to an Apartment where all Goods had to be delivered in the Rear. Mother Tear the Vital Organs Out of "Pansy Blossom." began to ride In Hacks which were not numbered. So they went along for Years, rid ing on L Trains, calling up the Jani tor to ask for more Heat, trying to find a good Maid and experimenting with new Cereals, all of these Ro mantic Adventures combining to make what Is known as City Life. They were simply four scrambling Units In the Great Ant-HIll; four tiny Tadpoles In the great Schools that wiggled up and down the. main Thorough fures. It seemed that their only Chance to make an ImproBslon on the huge and callous City was to die and then hold up a line of Street Cars while the Hearse and the flvo Carriages moved slowly in the direc tion of Calvary. But Destiny had them spotted. Father was very busy trying to run a 8hoe String up to a National Bank. He would rush into his Office and open the Desk and push Buttons and send Hurry-Up Wires and dictate Letters to trembling Myrtle with the Small Waist and keep People waiting outside, Just like the Whales who control the Sugar Trust. He had a Front Ilka the new Penn sylvania Station and the soft personal Attributes of a Numldlan Lion. When bo was sued in the Courts by a Victim who wanted a final look at bis Money, the Reporters cams around and be was so stiff-necked and de fiant that all of them referred to him as the Millionaire Promoter. l was easier to be this kind of a Millionaire tban stand for a Search. Every Office Building Is coagulnted with Millionaires who never will bt Caught until the Tin Box Is opened In the Probate Court. Then the Widow will get ready to take Boarders. Aa soon as Father was bawled aa a Millionaire It was up to Mother to Join S new kind of Club and have a Handle (Em ADE put on her Eye-Glasses. She would practice In her Room for Hours at a time, gripping the Rocking Chair with both Hands and trying to get the real Bostonlan sound of "A" as In Lard. Her Efforts were not In Vain, for one Day when the Club Meeting broke up with the Lady President throwing Fits and a Copper guarding the Ballot Box, the principal Insurgent was men tioned In the' Public Prints as a Popu lar Society Matron and Leader In the New Movement among Women. They had to call her that or the Story of her shooting the Ink-Stand at the Re cording Secretary would not have been worth playing up on the First Pago. It was a proud Morning for Gordon and Ethel when they saw all tho Pictures and learned that they were Uin lmmedlnte Descendants of tho Millionaire Promoter and tho Popular Society Matron. Gordon found himself endowed with a Social Status which enabled him, at tho Age of 23, to gain admission to an exclusive Club of 3,000 Members, tho object of which was to serve a 40-cent Table d'Hote every Noon to as many as were willing to take a Chance. Therefore, when he was yanked out of his 2-cyllnder Car and stood up before the Magistrate, charged with running over People and smearing up the Boulevard, tho whole Reading Public was thrilled to hear of what had happened to a Well-Known Club man whose Father was a Millionaire Promoter and whose Mother was a Popular Society Matron. By this time Ethel was meroly a Relative. ssne nod not come across in any Particular. As a matter of Fact, she was not pulling down any Ribbons at Beauty Shows and toed In when she walked and was beyond the reach of Massage Crpam, However, she was not discouraged. She eloped with a Chauffeur employed In an 8-car Garage and next Day she was a Beautiful Heiress whose Broth er was a Well-Known Man about Town, the Mother being very promt nent In Club Work and remembered as the Wife of the Millionaire Promo ter. After all this came out, Father still had between $3,000 and 14,000 and the whole Family, Including the Cbauf- reur, sat down to Prunes every Morn ing. But they were very Happy, for they were recognized In almost every Cafe and their Relatives in the East were sending Christmas Cards. MORAL: Some achieve Greatness and others have It Rubbed In. The New Fable of the Vultures Who NeVer Were Fed. Once there was a Handsome Dog who was strong with every one ex cept the Mothers. He was commonly reputed to be his own worst Enemy, for he dallied with the Rum and rolled the Bones and loved to' greet jocund Day when It stood tip-toe on the misty Mountain Top. He was one of our most con sistent littlo Greeters. Like every other Rowdy-dow he was loved by a Nice Girl of spotless Repu tation and largo trusting Bovine Eyes. Ail of her Friends formed a Ring around her and did the Hammer on tho Anvil, but when the good-looking Scamp bunted her up again and called ber Little Girl and said she looked awful Lucky to him and smoothed back her Hair, she forgot the Solemn Warnings and did the Cuddle. They were Married and then all of tho Rappers got out their Stop watches and gave him anywhere from One Week to 90 Days to have his right Trilby back on the Brass Foot-Rail. But we ore not all Rotters, no mat ter what Ibsen says, and tho Big Six of tho White Light Circuit settled right down as a Carpet-Slipper, Feed-thc-Furnace, and Tush-tbe-Lawn-Mower HuBband. Worst of all, he became a confirmed Wife-Lover, the most contemptlblo of all Human Beings, next to the One who eats Graham Crackers In Bed. The Prophets who had put up all the 24-Sheets killing his Downfall were so Peeved that they barred him from the Auction Whist Club. Moral: The dutiful Husband can be found only In Real Life. Why Worry Over FaUT We cannot escape fate. Even If we are allowed to lead a useful life after forty, and escape chloroform at sixty, we must still face the fact that wa have little chance of round ing up with the 10 per cent of hu mankind that Is free from tubercu losis. And the scientific dictum Is old that nobody Is perfectly sane. The pathetic part of the matter Is that so many people go on living In disgraceful Ignorancs of the tragedy of their existence, even making merry withal. A Strategist "Your boy Josh doesn't get up till It's almost time for dinner." "Well," replied Farmer Corntosscl. "I don't know as I altogether blame him. We always have oatmeal musb for breakfast and Josh doesn't like It" HICKS DESERVED THE KNOCK Facetloua Individual Is Told His Por trait Looks Like "Real Dough Head Sort of Idiot" After many years Hicks met Rlx, a friend of his schoolboy days. Al most half a century had passed since they had gone to school together, and now each was a gray-haired father of a family. Hicks was entertaining Rlx, and was showing him his household goods. He was a facetious soul who took an alto gether uncalled for delight in his own somewhat feeble jokes and witticisms. "That," said he, pointing to a paint ing, "is a portrait of my wife's first husband." "Why," said Rlx, "you never told m that your wife had been married be fore!" He examined the picture with some Interest "Well, he looks a real dough-head sort of Idiot, anyway." "That," Bald Hicks, "Is a portrait of myself at the age of twenty-five, sir!" Apprehension. "Your constituents will gather at the station to meet you when you gut home," eald the visitor. "I suppose' so," replied Senator Sor glium, gloomily. "Will thero bu a r coptlon committee or do they Intend to asseinblu as a mob?" Huston Evening Transcript. Insulting. Tho Delegate I toll you, sir, that the root of trouble of tho educutionui system of this nation Ib the teacher. The Listener But, say, ain't you a teacher yoursnlf? The Delegate (Indignantly) A teach cr, sir! Certainly not. I'm an edu cator! Cleveland Plain Dealer. Explaining an Ancient Episode. "George Washington did not hcsl tate to tell the true story or how the cherry tree got choped." "Yes." replied the man who had tes tified in an investigation. "George was pretty smart. He knew how to get Im munity." AWFUL. "Why do you weep? Is your drees out of style?" "Worse than that. My husband hns decided that we will have to go through the season with a 1913 air euip. Not Getting Next "Don't you enjoy getting next to nature!" "Only In a general way." replied Mr Crowcher. "When some of the details of nature loom up, such as a wasp or a hornet, I want to keep my distance." The Element of Difficulty. "Is it hard to learn the use of a tele scope?" asked the student "Not very," replied the candid pro feasor. "The hardest thing about as tronomy Is guessing what something is arter you manage to see It." Heard on a Piazza. She (throwing down tnaa.zlnA) Goodness! The end of that story posi tively startled me. He You shouldn't lumn at pnnrlu. slons. Boston Evening Transcript Seeking Contrast "Is that country placo cooler than the city?" "I don't know. I go there for the snko of. tho railroad trip. After nn Hour or so on the cars any place seems cool." Not Bo Bad. "1 hear that Bobby Kings Is accused or being bibulous. "Nothing: of the sort. Tho niu thing about Bobby Is that he will per sist in going on jags." Changeful Requirements. "Don't you dance?" "No," replied Miss Cayenne. "I used to two weeks ago. But I haven't bad time to learn the really fashion able steps." The Limit "Isn't It awful the way all the food stuff Is going up?" "Yes; as I passed through th kitchen Just now, I noticed that even the bread Is rising." Naturally. "How big did you say that rattle snake was?" "I said It was four feet long. Hut a anake Is llko a fish. It shrinks aft er capture." No Danger. "I wonder If the ilabbluys run any risk of ostracism if they go to that fashionable resort?" "Oh, no; they've all been va cluated." I 'ifB 1 "Mh MIGHT REPEAL HIS LEARNING Applicant Was Well Versed on Stat utes of State, But Ignorant of Blackstone and Kent. In the old days, when oral examina tions were still the thing, iho examin ing board whs pommeling uu applicant with questions from Hlatkstone, Kent and other legal lights. "1 didn't study anything about these fellows," complained tho uppl iount. "What did you study?" utkud one ol the judges. "I studied the statutes of the state," ho replied. "I studied them hard Ask ma a question about them and I II show you. That Is where I got my legal knowledge." ".My young friend." said one austere Judgo on the examining board, "you would better be very cureful. Tor some day tho leglhlaturo nilnht meet and r. peal everything you know." Norfolk Ledger-llK,alell. From the Readers. Prospective Subscriber (in olllce of the Wyoming Weekly Whoop) Don't you have any clubbing propositions? Editor and Proprietor- Oh, once In a while, but home whipping nnd shoot ing propositions seem to bo tbo favor ites around here! Puck. Times Change. Patrice I see when the straw hat first appeared, in 17S4. It was worn exclusively by women. Gertrude Now when father gets through with It, mother can put a feather and somo flowers on It and claim It for ber own. No Need to Move. "Going to spend the summer at a watering place?" Inquired the first New York broker. "You might call It that," answered the other one. "I'm going to stay right here on tho stock exchange." In 1915. Guest (glancing over menu) What's tne host word today, old man? Walter ( whispering) Beefsteak. Guest Why, It Isn't on the card. Walter Sh! You know. Its the closed season yet, sir! Puck. His Reason. "Smith must be a brave sort of man. He says ho believes, no mat ter what happens, In facing the music. "That's because Smith Is an or chestra leader." Impractical Advice. I should advise you to gamblo rather than write," said the man of conspicuous opinions. "Yes," replied Mr. Penwlggle; "but a gambler hns to have money to start with." Washington Post. Out of His Line. Ambulance Officer You saw that man In front of your car. Why didn't you signal? Amateur Golf Champion I did. I yelled "Fore!" as loud aa I could Puck. NO RECIPROCITY. First Rattler- So that man was un sociable? Second Rattier Very. I gave him a bite and he at once produced bis flask; but ha didn't ask me to drink with him. The Ample Supply. 'When wa so to tha theater mi wife gets breathless at tba thrilling parts." "That oughtn't to worry you. Youra la strong enough for both." The Result "When Miss Mnyme spoka I thought she had a catch In her voice." Well, maybe she had beoo flsblns (or a compliment." SUCCESS- Depends Upon Your Training Oor rouroea In Shorthand, Fon man.hip, Builnwa Tralnlns and Tolography will aquip you (or a aucceanful busineaa caroar. PALL TERM SEPTEMBER T. BUSINESS COLLEGE. Fourth Strort, Near Marrlooa, Portland. Or. We Guarantee Positions for All Our Graduates. Write Us, No Trouble to Answer. RUPTURE IS CURABLE By wwln a SEKI.KY SPERMATIC SHIKLU TRl'SS. No worryinr r dan gmr of an oporatlun. Kupture is not a toar or breach, an commonly tmpponed, but ( g. th Ktratrhinr. or dilation, mt a natural 2J oprninsr. Tina BKKI.KY HPKItMATIC 9 HHIKI.D appliance cIohim this apeninfin jjjj 10 f!ayn in mont ci If you can't coma, m write fur measuring? blank anj iitaratura. (1q Sold only by I LAUE-DAVIS DRUG CO. gj Third and Yamhill, Portland, Or. W Who ara Trunj I"xicrl and Kxcluaivt Cl Stato AueitU fur thu npplimii'O. nresBEBSBEES ta sesasasasago Gravestones Sink Into Ground. Antiquarians will be greatly In. terested In the recent find of the Boa ton cemetery department at the aa dent I'hlppM street burial ground, t'harlestown. Ten gravestones werS discovered in different parts of the ground, nil hurled timieath several feat of eurth. It was evident that they had been sunk Into the ground by their own weight more than n century ago. Tim rhipps street ground was the bur. la I place of euriy settlers from 16a0. Tim most a ih lent stone was of April, liliiG, erected over the grave of Maud Graves. Two othnrs are of that cen tury, nix are of the years 1708, 171J, 17:t4, 17M7. 1747, while one is of tha year 1801. Tr. Prrry'H YrriiiiriiVe and epeu Wuiii.n lu a Adr. Ih'iid Hhot" kill very few aoura. An Extremist. "I'm afralil," said Mr. Chiigglna, "that a man can be over-conscientious about running a motor car." "Have you been luat way?" "Yes, I grew ho interested la slaw, lug down to avoid violating the speed limit that afioliceman had to threaten lo arrest me fur standing too long la one place." Washington star. YOUR OWN DXUUfitST HILL TF.LL TOO Try Murine fcyr Hrairdy for Hnl, Weak, Watery ..j. -uu vii.iiiii.i-m njrmiH; no nmartina r.yf vnuiiort. ei rite Tor nwk of tao lye mail Free. Murine l ye Rrme,ly Co.,Cklea(a. Close Quarters. Normnndie Can you dress wit hi your Income? Bnrtram Yes, but It's like dressing--In an upper berth. Pennsylvania. Punch Bowl. Naughty Man! An ornery pup Is Ignntj Grand. r llln i-ntiiliifl lu illul.auul,,B He went into the kitchen and lie wa Idled I lie salad dressing. i Cincinnati ICnqulrer. He rambles through the house at will And no one's pardon begs. Ha went Into the dining room And saw the table's legs, Temple Telegram. He prowled nrouud the pantry with A mnat r.ffnelvA ai. And lingered long, immodestly, n tiers uu me sneives were bare. Just tell them that you saw me. but you didn't see my bayonet saw. Frora a war correspondent's notes. Purifies Biood With Telling Effect y.vcz Conscious Evidence of Its Direct Action. ft ft. g., the famous blood surlfler. alaaoot talks a. It awtrpi Its wiy tarough tut cir culation, lla arilea Is direct that very otlro la Same forau of akin amnion tho appearance of tha eruptions rkangee or.r nl(bt, the llrh and redaeaa are gust and recoyery bosun laiaiodlately. As a nutter of fart, there It aae lairodU eal la 8. S. B. wkk-h serves tba active ear. poae of atlanlatlaf etch cellular part at tht body to the healthy sad Jadlcltus selec tion of Its twa ttteatlal nutrlaatat. That It why It rearttratts tht blood eapply I whs It btt turh a tremtndoue Influence la arer- coming eciemt, raab, plaaplea, and all abut aKUctlona. And la rereneritlas tbt tlaauea S. g. B. hit a rapid aid potluvo antidotal eVoet upon all tkttt Irritating lalueacet that caute rheutriatlen, tort throat, weak eyoa, loot of weight, this, pale cheeks, tad tbal wrarlneea of nuaclt aad nerre that It sen- trally eiperlrtced as eprltf ferer. Ott bottle of 8. H. 8. at any drug etere, and la) a few dart yea will not tali (eel brlikt aad) energetic, but yon will bt tht picture tf new life. B. B. a. It prepared only In tha lahnrtinry tf Tht Kwift Specific Co, K3 Mwlft Hid-., Atltnta. Ca., who almala a very rfflrlrat Mrrifral Denortment. wh.re all who hart any hlnod dlaurder of a atubtxira tiatura nay write freely for artflit and a tperlal book of Inetmrtlon. H. H. M. la tola everywhere by drua Biuret, department aaS Kieral tlnrra. but liawart of all tubatltutaaa But accept tbeaa. H0.."'? K ' ' "II. -.I.-, -r nt ra.ialri, L.-iK,i:. ful-l.tJ.i, !h-iii!U.i pro-,..: lia!,f Silvnr. l-ad. t. lioM. Sllti-r. i.-j. C.il.l u-; Xino or tVMr SI- 'l.itJtnj, uirluiMm . d full prl-oh4 Cotonarrlif-fttlnn. CVefml mnA roinlr, workaaa ll4. Mifirnu! (tutiOBNtoNatamai Daak.