rWifiTI BY THE TWIT
COPYRIGHT 391 0
I
CHAPTER I.
H LOUR cowboys Inclined their
Bl bodies over the barbed-wire
V . fence which marked the di
viding line Detween me cen
tipede Ranch and their own.
staring mournfully Into a
summer night such as only
the far southwestern coun
try knows. And as the four
Inclined their bodies, they
Inclined also their ears, after the
strained manner of . listeners who
feel anguish at what they hear: A
voice, shrill and human, pierced the
tight like a needle, then, with a
wall of a tortured soul, died away
amid discordant raspings: the voice
of a phonograph. It was their own,
or had been until one over-confident
day, when the Flying Heart Ranch
had staked it as a wager in a foot
race with the neighboring Centi
pede, and their own man had been too
slow. As it had been their pride, it
remained their disgrace. Dearly had
they loved, and dearly lost it. It
Meant something that looked like
honor, and though there were ten
thousand thousand phonographs, in all
the world there was not one that could
take its place.
The sound ceased, there was an ap
proving distant murmur of men's
voices, and then the song began:
"Jerusalem, Jerusalem,
Lift up your voice and sing "
Higher and higher the voice mount
ed until it reached again Its first thin,
ear-splitting pitch.
"Still Bill" Stover stirred uneasily
ii the darkness.
"Why'n'ell don't they keep her
wound up?" he complained. "Galla
gher's got the soul of a wart-hog. It's
criminal the way he massacres that
hymn."
From a rod farther down the wire
fence Willie answered him, in a boy's
falsetto:
"I wonder if he does it to spite me?"
"He don't know you're here." said
Btover.
The other came out of the gloom,
a little stoop-shouldered man with
spectacles.
"I ain't noways sure," he piped,
peering up at his lanky foreman
"Why do you reckon he alius lets
Mrs. Melby peter out on my favorite
record? He done the same thing last
light. It looks like an insult."
"It's nothing but his ignorance,"
Btover replied. "He don't want no
trouble with you. None of 'em do."
"I'd like to know for certain." The
imall man seemed torn by doubt "If
I only knew he done it a-purpose, I'd
git him. I bet I could do it from
here."
Stover's voice was gruff as he com
manded: . "Forget it! Ain't it bad enough for
"If I Knew He Dons It A-purpose I'd
Git Him." i
as fellers to hang arouud like this
very night without advertising our
idiocy by a gun-play?"
"They ain't got no right to that
phonograph," Willie averred darkly.
- "Oh yes, they have; they won it
fair and square."
"Fair and square! Do you mean to
ay Hump Joe run that foot-race on
the square?"
"I never said nothin' like that what
ever. I mean we bet it, and we lost
It Listen! There goes Carara's
lecel"
Out past the corral floated the an
ITT HAMPER O'BROTHERtS
nouncement in a man's metallic syl
lables: " 'The Baggage Coach Ahead,' as
sung by Helena Mora for the Echo
Phonograph, of New York and Pa-a-a-ris!"
From the dusk to the right of the
two listeners now Issued soft Spanish
phrases.
"Madre de DIos! 'The Baggage Car
in Front!' T'adora Mora! God bless
'er!"
During the rendition of this affect
ing ballad the two cow-men remained
draped- uncomfortably over the barbed
wire barrier, lost in rapturous enjoy
ment When the last note had died
away, Stover roused himself, reluc
tantly. "It's time we was turnin' In." He
called softly, "Hey; Mex!"
"Si, Senor!" .
"Come on, you and Cloudy. Vamos!
It's ten o'clock."
He turned his back on the Centi
pede Ranch that housed the treasure,
and in company with Willie, made his
way to the ponies. Two other figures
joined them, bne humming in a musi
cal baritone the strains of the song
just ended.
"Cut that out, Mex! They'll hear
us," Stover cautioned.
"Caramba! This t'ing is brek my
eart," said the Mexican, sadly. "It
seem like the Senorita Mora is sing
that song to me. Mebbe she knows
I'm set out 'ere on cactus an' listen
to her. Ah, I love that Senorita ver
much."
The little man with the glasses be
gan to swear in his high falsetto. His
ear had caught tbe phonograph opera
tor in another mupical mistake.
"That horn-toad let Mrs. Melby die
again to-night" said he. "It's sure
comin' to a hunnacaboo between him
and me. If somebody don't kill him
pretty soon, he'll wear out that ma
chine before we git It back."
"Humph! It don't look like we'd
ever get It back," said Stover.
One of the four sighed audibly, then
vaulting into his saddle, went loping
away without waiting for his compan
ions. "Cloudy's sore because they didn't
play 'Navajo,'" said Willie. "Well, I
don't blame 'em none for omlttln" that
war-dance. It ain't got the class of
them other pieces. While it's devised
to suit the intellect of an Injun, per
haps it ain't in the runnin' with 'The
Holy City,' which tune is the sweetest
and sacredest ever sung."
Carara' paused with a hand upon the
neck of his cayuse.
"Eet is not so fine as 'The Baggage
Car in Front,' " he declared.
"It's got it beat a mile!" Willie
flashed back, harshly.
"Here, you!" exclaimed Stover, "no
arguments. We all have our favorites,
and it ain't up to no Individual to
force his likes and dislikes down no
other feller's throat" The other two
men he addressed mounted their bron
cos stiffly.
"I repeat," said Willie: '"The Holy
City,' as sung by Mrs. Melby, is the
swellest tune that . ever hit these
parts." ;
Carara muttered something in Span
ish which the others could not under
stand. "They're all fine pieces," Stover ob
served, placatlngly, when fairly out of
hearing of the ranch-houses. "Tou
boys have each got your preference.
Cloudy, beln' an Injun, has got his,
and I rise to state that I like that
monologue, 'Silas on Fifth Avenoo,'
better than all of 'em, which ain't
nothin' ag'inst my judgment nor
yours. When Silas says, 'The girl
opened her valise,, took out her purse,
closed her valise, opened her purse,
took out a dime, closed her purse',
opened her valise, put in her purse,
closed her valise, give the dime to the
conductor, got a nickel in change, then
opened her valise, took out her purse,
closed her valise " Stover began to
rock in his saddle, then burst into a
loud guffaw, followed by his' compan
ions. "Gosh! That's awful funny!"
"Si! si!" acknowledged Carara, his
white teeth showing through the
gloom.
"An it's just like a fool woman,"
tittered Willie. "That's sure one
rldlc'lous line" of talk."
"Still Bill" wiped his. eyes with the
back of a bony hand. "I know that
hull monologue by heart, but I can't
never get past that spot to save my
soul. Right there I bog down, com
plete." Again he burst Into wild laugh
ter, followed by his companions. 1
don't see how ' folks can be so dam'
funny!' he gasped.
"It's natural to 'em, like warts," said
Willie; "they're born with it the
same as I was born to shoot straight
with either hand, and the same as
Mex was born to throw a rope. He
don't know how he does It and neither
do L Some folks can say funny things,
some can sing, like . Missus Melby;
some can run foot-races, like that Cen
tipede cook "
Carara breathed an eloquent Mex
ican oath.
"Do you reckon he fixed that race
with Humpy Joe?" inquired Stover.
"Name's Skinner," Willie observed.
"It sounds bad."
"I'm sorry Humpy left us so sud
den," said SMI Bill. "We'd ought to
have questioned him. If we only had
proof that the race was crooked "
"Tou can so gamble it was crooked,"
the little man averred. "Them Centi
pede fellers never done nothin" on the
square. They got Hump Joe, and fixed
it for him to lose so they could get
that talkin'-machlne. That's why he
pulled out" '
"I'd hate to think it," said the fore
man, gloomily; then after a moment
during which the only sound was that
of the muffled hoof-beats: "Well, what
we goin" to do about it?"
"Humph! I've laid awake nights
figurin that out I reckon we'll Just
have to git another foot-racer and beat
Skinner. He ain't the fastest in the
world."
"That takes coin. We're broke."
"Mebbe Mr. Chapln would lend a
helpln hand."
"No chance!" said Stover, grimly.
"He's sore on foot-racin'. Says it dis
turbs us and upsets our equalubrium."
Carara fetched a deep sigh.
"It's ver bad t'ing, Senor. I don'
feel no worse, w'en my gran'mother
die."
The three men loped onward through
the darkness, weighted heavily with
disappointment
Affairs at the Flying Heart Rancn
were not all to Jack Chapin's liking.
Ever since that memorable foot-race,
more than a month before, a gloom
had brooded over the place which
even the presence of two Smith Col
lege girls, not to mention that of Mr.
Fresno, was unable to dissipate. The
cowboys moped about like melancholy
shades, and neglected their work to
discuss the disgrace that had fallen
upon them. It was a task to get any
of them out In the morning, several
had quit the rest were quarreling
among themselves, and the bunk
bouse had already been the scene of
more than one encounter, altogether
too sanguinary to have originated
from such a trivial cause as a foot
race. The master of the .ranch sought his
Bister Jean, to tell her frankly what
was on his mind.
"See here, Sis," be began, "I don't
want to cast a cloud over your little
house-party, but I think you'd better
keep your friends away from my
men."
"Why, what is the matter?" she de
manded. "Things are at a pretty high ten
sion just now, and the boys have had
two or three rows among themselves.
Yesterday Fresno tried to 'kid Wil-
mnm mora
WILLING TO MAKE SACRIFICE
Darky. Would Accept Offered Post,
Though He Admitted He Would
Lose Meat by Deal,
A Georgia planter was continually
missing hogs from his pen. His sus
picion fell upon Daddy Stepney, an old
negro who lived near by, but he didn't
care to accuse the old man. There
fore he devised a scheme to put him
on his honor.
"Daddy Stepney," he said one day
after he had missed a couple of fat
porkers, "somebody's been stealing
hogs and I can't find out who it is.
The trouble is I havtn't had anybody
to look after them. Now you live
pretty close by. Tell you what I'll do
If you'll take the Job and be respon
sible for those hogs I'll give you a
shoat every year Just before killln'
time. Will you do it?"
Old Stepney scratched his wolly
head and thought a long time. Then
he said:
Well, Marse Joe, I ben Uvln' on
yo folks' lan' ever sence I wuz bohn
on' I done wuk fo' yo' daddy an' yo'
gran'daddy an' I done sarve um true
an' faithful. I know some scalawag's
ben a-stealin' dem hawgs an' yes,
suh, I reckln I'll hatter take dat job
and look ater um fo' yo' but I'm sho'
gwine to lose in meat by It!"
Just 8ulted.
An extremely mean inn-keeper was
having some rooms repapered. One
day he went' down ' to his cellar and
discovered a cask of beer was Just be
ginning to turn sour.
"All,'' he thought, "I'll give It to tbe
1! about The Holy City;' laid It was
written as a coon song, and wasn't
sung In good society. If he hadn't
been a guest, I guess Willi would
have murdered him."
'Oh. Jack! You won't let Willie
murder anybody, not eTen Berkeley,
while the people are here, will your
coaxed Miss Chapln, anxiously.
"What made you invite Berkeley
Fresno, anyhow?" was the rejoinder.
This Is no gilded novelty to him. Ha
Is a Western man."
Miss Chapln numbered her reasons
sagely. "In the first place Helen.
Then there had to be enough men to
go around. Last and best, he Is the
most adorable man I ever saw at a
house-party. He's an angel at break
fast, sings perfectly beautifully you
know he was on the Stanford Glee
Club "
"Humph!" Jack Was unimpressed.
If you roped him for Helen Blake to
brand, why have you sent for Wally
Speed?"
"Well, you see, Berkeley and Helen
didn't quite bit it off, and Mr. Speed
Is a friend of Culver's." Miss Cha
pln blushed prettily.
"Oh. I see! I thought myself that
this affair had something to do with
you and Culver Covington, but I
didn't know It had lapsed Into a sort
of matrimonial round-up. Suppose
Miss Blake shouldn't care for Speed
after he gets here?"
"Oh, but she will! That's where
Berkeley Fresrio comes In. When two
: i- u." !..---'
4
"You Can So Gamble It Was Crooked."
men begin to fight for her, she'll have
to begin to form a preference, and I'm
sure it will be for Wally Speed. Don't
you see?
The brother looked at his sister
shrewdly. "It seems to me you
learned a lot at Pmith."
Jean tossed her head. "How ab
surd! That sort of knowledge Is per
fectly natural for a girl to have.1
Then she teased: "But you admit that
my selection of a chaperon was ex
cellent, don't you, Jack?"
"Mrs. Keap and I are the best of
friends," Jack averred, with supreme
dignity. "I'm not in the market, and
a man aoesn t marry a widow, any
how. It's too old and experienced a
beginning."
(TO BE CONTINUED.)
mnm mm
workmen upstairs." So he went up
stairs and said: .
"Here, you chaps, is a cask of beer
for you."
A few hours later he went to the
place where the men were working.
Nobody said anything about the beer;
so, finally, not being able to bear it
any longer, be said:
"Here, you chaps, what did you
think of that beer?"
One of the men replied:
"Oh, it suited."
"How do you mean, it suited?"
"Well," said the man, "if it had been
any better we shouldn't have had it
and if it had been any worse we
couldn't have drunk it; so it suited."
Zones of Silence.
Zones of silence such as that dis
covered In the Alps have been known
to scientists for a long time. Some
years ago a committee conducted a
series of experiments In the English
channel with the loudest and most
ear. piercing sirens, whistles and hoot
ers they could procure. It was found
that sometimes on the clearest and
quietest day a sound was unaccounta
bly Inaudible at a short distance. This
demonstrated conclusively the exis
tence of soundless zones and incident
ally suggested an explanation of cer
tain ocean disasters.
To Be Expected.
. "He flushed when I , perused his
countenance."
"Naturally, when he felt his face
was getting read." .
Give me a garden. The net of tts
world, can be yourf
1
J Ik
am
LittleOnes
WHERE OUR FLAGS ARE MADE
Work Is Done Mostly by Women.
Though Few Men May Cut Out
' Stars and Do the Finishing.
In the Equipment building at the
New Pork navy yard there is a large
manufactory, where most of the flags
of our navy are made. A large ves
sel carries 40 American flags, and a
smaller vessel almost as many. Thii
does not include the fleet and inter
national signal flags, and the flags ol
other countries.
There are rooms in the Equipment
building that are given up to flag
making. One of these is very largo,
and the others at either end are much
smaller. There are sewing machines,
scissors, pincushions and flat-ironi
scattered around, so that the plac
does not look unlike a patriotic dress
maker's establishment. The flags art
all made by women, though a few
men help to cut out the stars and dc
the finishing. The wind and weathei
destroy flags so fast, and new vessels
are put into commission so rapidly,
that it is necessary to employ a num
ber of people even in time of peace.
The working hours, during the late
war, were extended from eight o'clock
in the morning to five o'clock in the
evening. In one week 1,800 flag!
were made at the Hag department,
and this was when the rush of work
was about over. The women cut all
the square flags and the devices for
them. The men cut the stars and
bias pennants, and put on the finish
ing touches and the heading through
which tho rope runs. They also pul
in the rope, and stencil the flag with
the size and nationality.
There is a pattern for every flag,
and the patterns are put away In
paper bags when not in use. There
are 44 flagB in a set of general sig
nals used in the navy. These are in
three sizes, while the regular flag Is
made in nine sizes. The largest flag
measures 36 feet long, while the
smallest is only 30 Inches. , Pennanta
are made up to 70 feet long. There
are 19 international signal flags and
43 foreign flags, which are made at
the navy yard. Scientific American,
WORLD PUZZLE IS AMUSING
Trick Is to Start From Any Angle or
Town on Diagram and Visit
' Every Other Village Once.
Can you, starting from any angle oi
town on this diagram, And a route
Around the World Puzzle.
which will take you to every othei
town once, and once only?
The route must bring you back to
the town from which you set out
- Starting from any angle or town on
this diagram, to visit every othei
town once, and once only, and to re
turn to our starting point we may
take either of those two courses:
FBAUTPONCDEJKLMq
II S II O F,
or
FBAUTSRKLMQPONCE
E J H G F.
The arrangement is cyclical, and
the route can be begun at any point
by transferring the proper numbei
of letters from one end to the other.
Occasion for Pride,
Dorothy, Delia and Daisy, three
youngsters of a New Jersey town
were discoursing about the babj
brothers who had taken up their resi
dence in the throo families during the
last year.
"My little brother Tora'S got a love
ly silver mug that grandfather Jusi
sent him," said Dorothy. "It's I
beauty, and he had a silver knife and
fork from grandma, too."
"My little brother Harry's got I
beautiful carved rattle that Unch
Dick sent him from Japan," said De
Ha. "It's the prettiest rattle that
ever saw." . .
"My little brother Willie's not ai
big as your brothers," said Daisy,
with an air of endeavoring to conceal
a feeling of triumph, "but the doctoi
says he's had more spasms than an
other baby In the whole neighbor
hood, so there!" Lippincott's.
1 1 A Vacuum Abhorred. , ...
What is that which a young girl
looks for, but does not wish to find?
A hole in her stock'"-