HIS PROFITABLE FARM
LONG A FAILURE, BUT AT LAST
BROUGHT AFFLUENCE.
Visitor of Importance Spends a Day in the House
WASHINGTON. It didn't make a
bit of difference to Benjamin
Oswald Johnson, aged Biz, what was
going on around his little head the
other afternoon. He was busy with
his own devlcesT This young Ben
Johnson stumbled around-the floor of
the House of Representatives, while
the real Ben Johnson, from Kentucky,
and other legislators and statesmen
thundered and argued over the legis
lative, executive and Judicial appro
priation bill.
Little Ben Is one of the Ave' chil
dren of Representative Joseph John
eon of South Carolina. He kept the
House of Representatives amused
from noon until 4:39 o'clock p. m..
when the gavel fell for adjournment
Strange Sounds Come from Smithsonian Building
IF you are passing across the front
of the Smithsonian Institution at
midnight and hear strange cries com
ing from the Byzantine, Norman or
rounded Gothic towers, buttresses,
battlements, groined arches and
cornices, keep your nerve. The moon
may be floating through the southern
sky. Now It will be hidden under
dense cloud masses, and then It will
burst through the black mist and cast
Us silver sheen over the heavens and
the earth. Against all this, the long
red sandstone buildings, dark but for
a watchman's lamp In the central ves
tlbue, will be submitted. It looks
gloomy and lonesome.
Tou can' reassure yourself that you
are not . in the depths of a haunt
ed forest and before some dismal
medieval castle by looking northward
to catch the glitter of the lights In
the post office tower
' The sounds that have stopped you,
and It may be, chilled you, come from
not mortals but from bats. There
are many of these aberrant Insec
tlvorae or flying mammals, family
Cigarette Smoking Under Ban of Censorship
Wf HAVE
KADFNOUCH
CICARETTf
WOHWC
CIGARETTE smoking by women
has come under the ban of cen
sureshlp by society women In Wash
ington, who are leading a crusade
against smoking and drinking in the
social set at the capital.
Mrs. William H. Haywood, who put
herself on record several years ago,
when she served only grape juice at
the debutante ball of her daughter,
Miss Doris Haywood, Is one of the
'leaders In the antl-cigarette move
ment, and is said to not permit wom
en to smoke In her house.
Mrs. Levi Z. Letter, who many
think Is to be the social leader In
place of the late Mrs. John R. Mc
Lean, has also declared her willing
Ice Skating a Real Fad
THAT part of Washington society
which delights In outdoor winter
sports has started a movement to dis
cuss the ways and means of promot
ing Ice skating. To that end Invita
tions were sent out by a committee
of Interested men and women for a
meeting which was held in the ban
quet hall of one of the large hotels.
It Is hoped the feeble efforts of "Jack
Frost" In Washington may be supple
mented and real Ice skating provided
for those who wish.
The tidal basin at the foot of the
Washington monument Is unsafe at
best, and then there are only a few
days' skating on It through the win
ter. Last year the time was extended
somewhat because of the almost un
precedented cold weather In, this re
gion. There are many expert skaters
In Washington, who come from all
parti of the world.
Among those Interested In the
propect is Major Henry T. Allen,
whose wife was Miss Johnstone of
Chicago. Major Allen is also an ex
pert horseman, and with his daugh-
Ben appeared on the house' floor at
noon dressed In a dark blue sailor
buIL His father had troubles of his
own, for he is in charge of the legis
lative bill, and Representative Fow
ler, with his loudest voice, was out
after the scalps of several of the Items
in that bill. While Representative
Fowler was being replied to by Rep
resentative Johnson, Little Ben was
playing tag around his father's legs,
going In and out between them In
most marvelous- fashion. -
Toung Ben Interviewed pretty near
ly every member of the house. He
didn't wait for an Introduction, but
clambered right Into the laps of the
country's law makers. From the
Democratic side he would hop to the
Republican end of the chamber and
pull out the watches of his father's
dearest political toes, "just to hear the
wheels tick." Uncle Joe Cannon con
tributed to Ben's war chest to the ex
tent of a silver, coin, and at the end
of the day Ben's fists were bulging
with nickels, dimes and quarters,
which had been pressed upon him by
admiring friends.
galloplthecldae, order of chiroptera.
In the shadowy nooks of the Smith
sonian building.
Satisfied that no barm Is near, you
fall to thinking of James Smlthson's
bequest of 1826; of James Renwlck.
the designer of this building, the first
of Its style not ecclesiastic, to ,be
reared in the United States; your
glance goes up to the top of the tallest
tower 145 feet above the asphalt,, all
strewn with dead leaves, and your
mind goes back to the time when
President ,. Polk and his. cabinet and
hundreds of proud men, now dust, at
tended the cornerstone laying In 1847.
ness to aid the crusaders against
feminine cigarette smoking.
Mrs. John.B. Henderson, who Is. the
arbiter of dancing and dancers in
Washington, has always been opposed
to the practice. It Is said she re
quested a fair smoker to go outside.
Lady Alan Johnston, daughter ol
Mrs. James Plnchot, is one of the de
fenders of the weed, and smokes
when and wherever It strikes her
fancy.
Lady Johnston struck the first note
In the battle some time ago, when
she offered her cigarette case to oth
er guests at a luncheon. The hostess
was a crusader, and Is said to have
requested Lady Johnston, who hap
pened to be the guest of honor, not to
smoke.
Mrs. Franklin MacVeagh, who has
recently completed her million-dollar
palace on Sixteenth street, has pro
vided little balconies from her bah
room windows for the men to smoke
between dances. It the lady guests
wish to smoke they- have to go out
side also.
in Society
ters, the Misses Jeannette and Desba
Allen, takes an active part In the
Hunt club of this city. The secretary
of the navy, George von L. Meyer, Is
another of the promoters of the
scheme to "build" an Ice pond. The
Meyer family la from Massachusetts,
where nature, unassisted, keeps win
ter sports going for months. , The
daughters of the secretary and Mrs.
Meyer are adepts In skating, which
they learned In their native state, and
In which they bad a chance to exer
cise when they were living In St
Petersburg, to which capital their
father formerly was accredited by the
state department
at Capital
loo
sensitive is
Elo.se
If s "fcy in I
must say .
J scolded hev
Lsit rujhi" and she's
Au bvoKen pp
INTERESTING TRICK TO PLAT
Board Projecting Over Table and Cov
ered With Newspaper Cannot Be
Knocked to Floor.
Take an ordinary board, two or
three feet long, such as a bread board,
ind place It on the table so that about
one-third of Its length will project
Jver the edge. Unfold a newspaper
ind lay It on the table over the board,
ays the Popuplar Mechanics. Any
ne not familiar with the experi
ment would suppose the board could
e knocked off by hitting It on the
Juter end, It would appear to be easy
io do, but try It Unless you are pre
pared to break the board you proba
bly will not be able to knock the board
jft. - .
The reason Is that when the board
Is struck It forces the other end up and
the newspaper along with It This
:auses a momentary vacuum to be
Formed under the paper, and the pres
sure of the air above, which la about
Sfteen pounds to the square inch, pre
sents the board from coming up. This
Is an entertaining trick to play at an
rvening party, and also makes a sim
ple and Interesting experiment
SKATEMOBILE FOR THE BOYS
Vouths of Eastern City Becoming Ex
pert In Inventing Means of Easy
and Fast Locomotion,
Philadelphia bava are eettlnv h
experts In the Invention of vehicles
for their play.. FUfst it was the push
mobile, then the coasting stick and
now it is the skatftmnhlla- whloh ....
boy can make for himself in a little
wnne. 'lane an old roller skate and
The Skatemobile.
cut it In two crosswise. Take a strip
of stout wood about four feet long
ind three inches wide and null a nalr
of wheels under each end. -Nail an
empty box In the center of the board
and fasten a stick across the top of
that box, to act as a pair of handles
on eitner side. This vehicle can be
made to turn corners when the boy Is
coasting on It If he will lean toward
the side he wants to turn in mit
kating. Some boys cut a bole In the
irum o me oox, set a piece of glass
In It and burn a candle Innlrln at
night
Wadswortta Was Counting His Wsd
"Oh, Mrs. Huhb!" eiplnlmri vr
3oodthlng to the young Boston matron.
l rememDered it was little Wads
worth's birthday, so I hrnncht Mm o
sf those old-fashioned children's
pan us, the kind we used to drop the
joins down the chimney of a little
red tin house, with green blinds paint
id on It, you remember? Children
lave always loved them so."
"So very kind of you," replied Mrs.
Hubb frigidly. "You will find Wads
worth in his toy. office, playing with
lis new cash register." Woman's
Home Companion.
Terrible Enough.
Teacher What was the reign of ter
ror. Pupil PleaBe. miss, It was the
lood In the Bible.
r I
Drummer's Successive Speculation!
ss to How It Was Brought About '
Failed to, Come Anywhere
Near the Facts.
They were traveling nn h,
ed. and as the curling smoke rose
from their clears to tha i r .v..
car they began to compare notes as
to ousineBS.
"Things nrettv rnni in ,. it-..
. . D au UUI HUD ,
asked the hardware drummer, with a
giance at his companion, a little man
with a chin whisker that caused him
to look very much like the cartoon
ist's Ideal of Uncle Sam.
"Very good fact Is, never better,-"
returned the llttln man -or. i in.
deed that I am now on my way to
"w one with my family, where next
Saturday we ara tn t.irn . .,.n.o. -
Europe. I propose to rest over there
lUB next nve years on this year's
profits." -
"Fine!" cried the other. "You must
nave struck It rich. What was it
gold mine In your hark vnrie"
"Well sort of," smiled the little
man. it came along Just at the right
time, too. Up tp a month ago I was
what you ml?ht ii nn n.. ....
edge hangin' on by my eyelids. - as
.v wcro. ive neen losln' money year
after year for goln' on ten years.
No matter how hard I worked there
was always a loss here or a loss
there that wined nilt nit fhnnroa nf
profit, until at last even the little cap-
iuu i nao left in reserve was gone.
I Was face to fare with mln TOn.-.r
of all, the banks had seen how things
were goin' with me the country
bank, you know, la
sizin' a feller un ami i n..Mn k-
borrer, or steal a dime to help me
uuu it was a pretty tough situation
for a man with a nrir. .v.-
.. . vj nuu kill cc
daughters.'"
"I should say so," said the drum
mer. "But the tldfl tiirncH at lf
eh?"
"You betcher!" grinned the little
man. "And all inside of n month
too. Ten days more and I'd have been
aown ana out for good, but now I'm
In the capitalist class. Made ten
thousand clear almost, you might say,
overnight, and, by ginger, I'm goln'
to enjoy it."
"Mighty Interesting," said the drum
mer, enviously. "Mav I .u what
the line was?"
"Oh. farmln'." said th nm
handing over a 32-cent Havana.
farming, eh?" said the drummer.
"And all of a suddan aftnr
losses you switch Into the profit class
mr ten mounand?"
"Yep." said the agriculturist
"H'm!" mused the drummer.
"Wasn't that rather sudden? You
must have changed your system rad
ically. What did you raise? Hay?"
"Nope alfalfa. beets. potatoes
squash all stable stuff," said the
farmer. -
"And you changed over to what
artichokes, asparagus and endive
salad. I suppose?" said the drummer.
"No," said the farmer. "I Just
leased the farm for 20 years for $.10.
000 a year to another party."
"That was clever," laughed the
drummer. "But if you couldn't make
It pay, how Is he going to?"
Oh," said the farmer, "he's all
right he's rented It to a golf club for
20 years at $12,000 per annum."
Harper's Weekly.
Left Her In Charge.
"I was under the impression that a
man was In charge of this office," said
a government Inspector, entering a
country postofl.ee and seeing a woman
at the delivery counter.
"And so he was," replied the womas
sharply, "but I married him. I am in
charge now. What do you want?"
But the government inspector had
fled.
1 Sparrows for Food Users.
The English sparrow Is a good food
bird. That's all he is good for. In
Scriptural times the sparrow was
used for food, and In St. Matthew's
day two were sold for a farthing. The
department of agriculture In a recent
bulletin tells how to catch, cook and
serve them. This food use may solve
the problem. Farm and FlreBlde.
Women Bankers.
Berlin has what Is said to be the
only bank In the world owned and run
by women exclusively for women. This
Is the Mutual Bank of Self-Supporting
Women. It was established about
three years ago, the board of control
being composed of four women. It
employs seven women clerks.
Part of the Dowry.
Housemaid "And are you going to
your young lady's wedding?" Cook
"Rather. Mistress has given me to
her as a wedding present"
No Argument ,
"But we are too poor to marry."
"What of that? Everybody la."
Boston.Transnript
AGAIN, "TO WHAT BASE USES"
Here Is Story Thst Will Shock Admit
era of Two Recognized Men
of Genius.
The ladles at a watering place la
Bohemia recently organized a. dress
making exhibition. A certain prin
cess agreed to open it At the last
moment some one noticed that the
most important models, two very gor
geous lace blouses, were not displayed
to proper advantage. The caretaker
was called and Instructed to beg. bor
row or steal two dressmaker's dum
mies and to drape the blouses upon
them before the princess arrived.
After the opening ceremony It was
noticed that the exhibits were excit
ing a great deal more attention than
the committee had counted on and
the princess insisted on seeing the
two objects which were the center of
attraction. Her surprise was very
great when she caught sight of two
llfeslze busts of Schiller and Goethe,
both decked out In lace blouses.
The caretaker, not being able to se
cure dummies, had borrowed the fig
ures of the poets from the reading
room, and as they were somewhat
tat chested had carefully stuffed them
with linstf-- " 'i n"t nw blouses.
Red Cromi Ball Blue, all blue, best blutar ralua
St tha who Id world, makea the laundrau amila.
A
Intellectual Clerk.
Visitors seeing the sights In Pitts
burg entered the conservatory p re
lented to the city by Mr. Phlpps. They
came to a beautiful statue which waa
admired Immensely. . It was of trans
lucent marble. The clerk who waa
showing them around, pointed out tha
excellences of the statue, told the
name of the sculptor and showed It
from every point of view. One asked:
"Alabaster, isn't It?" "No," he said.
"Venus."
Velvet From the Arabs.
In the middle ages Venice and
Genoa learned the art of velvet-ma
Ing from the Arabs. Toward the yeaf
1618 Lyon - Inherited the business,
Europe, notably France, followed the
lead of the courtiers of Frances L,
Lou la XIV. and La Pompadour. The
courts of the world wore silk, satin
and velvet stiff with gold and stives
embroidery. Velvet was used by the
rich for hangings and for furniture
cover. In Lyon, In 1900. 20,000 looms
were weavlne voin Harper's Week-
New Light on a Terpslchorean Event
"What," asked the casual student
of the higher literature, "did the poet
refer to when he wrote: "On with the
dance; let Joy be unrefined?" "Oh, 1
don't know," replied the lowbrow, "un
less he was describing one of those
turkey trot affairs."
75 YEARS
OF PUBLIC APPROVAL
5l
FOR CONSTIPATION
ind all forma of
DIGESTIVE DISORDERS
"DIDN'T HURT A BIT"
is what they all say
of our
. , Valnless
Methods of
. I'Mracting
Trfolh.
Ojt-of-town peo
ple can liave their
plate and brldre
Korb fiulihed In one
iluy If neeeuer.
A r. abiolete f uar
Vttma. hec l-d b M
yev- in Portland,
M. W. A. Wltf. Pm Ha. Mmiiu.
Wise Dental Co.
orrirr: hoi ins.
S A. M. to 8 P. M. Sundays 9 to'
Phoncet A 2029i Main 2029.
felling Bids., Third and Washington, Portland
..UJM.IMa:HSIJ.W
BMtCcttgh Syrup, TastM Good. L't I
la tlm. Bold hj Dracrittt.
aa uiiaii .WUVjsUC,
Egfri:rii.rt!n
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