PAGE FOUR
Fooling the Phagocytes
War and Rumors of War Within the Human Body are Daily
Incidents How we Deceive our Best Friends
WE ABE prone to deceive our
friends and the Phagocytes
are no exception. The Pha
gocytes are our bent and
most intimate friends and yet we take
no thought for their perennial willing
ness to fight for us our battles and
every chance we get to fool thein we
accept with unfailing enthusiasm, Tho
Phagocytes are the police of the body,
always ready to club some offending
bacillus over the head and run hiin into
the lockup. The Phagocytes are. the
standing army of the body, only they
do not stand still long at a time, bo
busy are they in putting down insur
rections on the part of germs thought
thoroughly naturalized or in repelling
invasions on the part of alien microbes.
Let something go wrong and the Pha
gocytes are there in a jiffy, foot, borso
and dragoons, putting up a fight that
makes the heroic memory of the Tro
jans pale into cowardly insignificance.
Every day the Phagocytes have their
rounds to make and their fights to
fight, brief, hand to-hand and eye-to-eye
encounters with hostile bacilli, and
sometimes there aro general alarms and
fierce, long conflicts with a determined
enemy. That's whon we start in fool
ing the Phagocytes.
Let us say that we have a cold in
the bead. A lot of hostile bacilli aro
encamped in the sensitive membranes
up there, having the unlawful time of
their lives, rioting joyously in the mis
, ery they are dealing to us. But, thoy
have forgotten in their unholy mirth
the army of the Phagocytes. Those in
trepid organisms need no formal call
to battle, DO' definite declaration of
war, no official proclamation before
they cross the border into the territory
of the enemy. Upstairs thoy rush, all
bands to breakfast I
Soon, there is a fight in progress.
No, not "soon," but immediately. The
bacilli of the cold, base dcspoilers that
they are, grapple with the Phngocytcs.
Why shouldn't theyt Even a rat will
fight, once he's cornered. The little
devils of the cold must fight or be de
stroyed. So, there is a battle that is a
battle and he arena which we are
rings and resounds and has trouble
a-plenty with consonants and vowels.
Then, when the ravages of war become
too much to bear, we Btart in to fool
. the Phagocytes.
Tou see, we know that the Phago
cytes are in the blood and blood is
what we do not want up there in the
war district. Rather, we would Btarve
out the enemy. We prefer to wage a
Fabian campaign, to make cunctutory
war. But the Phagocytes first-class
fighting men, they cannot understand
military delay of any sort. Thoy en
joy Light-Brigade charges, forlorn
hopes, dashing maneuvers, but the prin
ciples of scientific warfare are to them
a closed book. No, there's no use in
reasoning with the Phagocytes. There
they are, in deadly embrace with the
bacilli of the cold, knee-deep in gora
and impregnated with the lust of
slaughter. They wouldn't come down
and quit any more than a bulldog will
let go as long aye, and longer as he
can know and feel anything. The Pha
gocytes are enlisted for the war; thoy
intend to fight it out on this line if it
takes all summer.
80, we, for whom the Phngocytos aro
doing yoeman service, fool thorn. We
put on our other end a mustard plas
ter. We put the countor-irritant on
the calves of our legs and we put our
feet in mustard water, sizzling hot.
Ouch!
This false alarm is soon received by
the Phagocytes, engaged in unrelent
ing, savage, quarterlcs war 'way up
there above the equator. One can
imagine the little soldiers taking coun
sel among themselves:
"Yes, we have a very fine scrap on
our hands here right now and it's get
ting better all tho time, but there must
be something fierce coming off down
toward the south. At that, we'll have
For Sale or Trade
on Terms to Suit
One of the most profitable, full bearing
apple orchard! In the Hood River district.
Owner not practical farmer; aniious todia
poaei price renaonnhle: tennl to auit; anle or
trade. Property includes 6 acres 17-ycar-old
treea; 8 acrea 8-yenr-old trees: 16 acrea 7-yenr-old
treea; 6 acrea pasture; 20-inch water right;
6 room house, ham, apple house, span of
mulea; one 5-year-old mare; one Jersey cow;
1U0 chickens; waiton. hack, butfiry, gasoline
sprayer and inumerable farm implements.
Also 21 shares of stock in Hood Kiver Apple
Growers Union.
Write Immediately for terms and particu
lars. This is absolutely s snap end a money
maklng proposition.
harry McAllister
f Csausarca BUf . rsrliaaa. Oratas
these fellows too dead to skin in two
or three more battles, and it might be
worth while to go below and see what's
doing. We can come back any time
and polish off this gang here."
80, off rush the Phagocytes, still
spoiling for a fight, happy-go-lucky
little warriors. They reach the hot re
gion and they gird up their loins, hitch
thoir breeches, spit on their hands or
do whatever a Phagocyte does when he
prepares for the lists. Then they start
to wade in. Imagine their blank
amazement when they find that there
is nothing into which thev can wade.
no foe to fight, no drunk and disor
derly bacilli to run in, no anarchistic
demonstration to disperse. Nothing to
do at all and a fine chance tn fiirht
passed up. 80, the Phagocytes stand
around with their hands in. their nnck-
ets for a while and send out scouting
expeditions. Still, they find nothing
ana they start back to the battlefield
they've left so recently, only to find
nil the enemy dead and littering the
field. So, we reckon, the Phagocytes
swallow their disappointment some
how, cord up the deceased and start out
on a humdrum existence of peace.
Inat, friends, is what we call fooling
the Phagocytes.
There is something human about thia
business of making false alarms for
tne fbagooytes to answer. A good
many of us spend part of our time
fighting for folks who don't appreciate
me sacruices we make or the love we
bring to them. We are all of us, if
our hearts are clean, of the spirit of
Don Quixote, after all is said and done.
We are like the Phagocytes, useful usu
ally and sometimes foolish and in the
way. When we are in the way well,
then there is some sort of a mustard ap
plication to call , us to other scenes.
There are many human Phagocytes and
every day these are being fooled.
Surveying the Congo
The use of modern methods for lay
ing out frontier lines in the colon
ies is well brought out in the work
which is ' being done in the Congo
region. According to a recent treaty,
France ceded a certain amount of ter
ritory in Africa to Germany in ex
change for concessions in Morocco,
so that this led to expeditions on
the part of both countries in ordor to
fix the boundary lines. Captain Peri
quet states that wireless telegraphy
will be used for the first time on a
large scale so as to determine lati
tudes exactly. Wireless stations now
exist in the French possessions, also
in Cameroon and Belgian Congo, and
all these are to be utilized by the
expeditions. They will carry im
proved kites for mounting the an
tennae wires, also the necessary wire
less posts. For taking the latitude
they use prism astrolabes which give
vory close results. These measure
ments will be combined with plans
drawn up on the spot by the alibade,
this latter being used especially for
the important points. Once in pos
session of the data, they will draw
up a map of the frontier region on as
large a scale as possible. Other sci
entific work will be done at the same
time, which is likoly to be valuable,
such as hydrography, orography, ques
tions of populutiou,-botanical and eth
nological research, terrestrial magne
tism and the like.
Land
Opportunity
$1.50 an acre per month buys
10-acre (arm, that will make
you independent for life.
Located in Moses Lake Valley, -east
of famous Wenatchee
district.
For illustrated booklet, address
HALLETT BROS.
Dept. M 1 OS Pike St.
SEATTLE, WASH.
Hidden Lake
Is Big Boon
Discovery of Water Underground
in Washington County Great
Benefit to Whole District
THE discovery of what appears
to be an immense underground
lake, underlying the entire cen
tral portion of Grant County,
Wash., is responsible for the present
activity in the Moses Lake district,
regarding which mention was made in
these columns last week. Land that
was once considered practically worth
less, because of the lack of water, is
now being reclaimed by the use of
pumping plants, which furnish an eco
nomical means of supplying water for
irrigation from a source which seems
to be inexhaustible. The result is that
barren wastes of volcanic ash and
sagebrush are giving way to thriving
orchards, and alfalfa and garden
fields of prolific production. The soil
is remarkably fertile and produces
heavily when the science of irrigation
is applied.
The underground lake which has been
the means of this remarkable change
is located in an ancient course of the
Columbia Kiver. The Columbia has
performed some strange feats in her
day, and this is one of the strangest of
them all. The lake is several miles
in extent and crops out in various
places throughout Grant County. These
visible portions of this immense body of
water are known as Moses Lake, Brook
Lake, Bound Lake, Black Bock Lakes
and Willow Lakes, and they form the
outer rim of an area about 40 miles
long and 20 miles wide.
One settler who lives in the inter
vening country carried his water in
barrels for three years, hauling them a
distance of 16 miles. He never thought
of digging a well because the country
looked so much like a desert that he
never dreamed of finding such a thing
as water beneath the surface. But one
day. he was induced to dig a well, and
he struck an abundant supply of water
at 40 feet. This caused a furore. One
settler after another begin sinking a
well, and every time that this was
done water was encountered. The re
sult is that today the entire country
is dotted with wells, and many pump
ing plants have been installed, irrigat
ing from 10 to 4,000 acres each.
Discovery of water caused a rush,
and practically all available land has
been taken up under the homestead of
desert act. Much of this land is now
being placed on the market by com
panies that have become heavily in
terested in the district, and the coun
try is being rapidly developed. Wen
atchee capitalists have invested $4,000,-
000 in the Moses Lake country and are
now Improving their land by setting it
out to commercial orchards. The or
chards that have already been devel
oped in the Moses Lake district yield
as heavily as those of Wenatchee, it
is said, and the fruit produced is
shipped through the Wenatchee Fruit
Growers Association.
One company, Hallett Bros., main
taining offices at 106 Pike St., Seattle,
has recently published a handsome
booklet descriptive of the district, and
the Great Northern Bailrond is also
sending out considerable information
regarding it.
speakers should know the Bible. He
says that men who speak with telling
force are those "who are able to give
illustrations from Holy Writ, who are
familiar with the stories of Holy Writ
and who can tell them to their audi
ences." In Chicago three; policemen attempted
to break up a ball to which they had
been denied admittance. The officers,
with half a dozen citizens whom they
enlisted in their cause, were ejected
from the hall with much damage, after
a riot in which shots were fired by the
bluecoats. The officers lost their
stars, also.
Here's a fine case of freak legisla
tion and it isn't from Oklahoma, either:
A bill haB been introduced in the Mis
souri legislature prohibiting women
wearing dresses that button up the
back, unless the buttons be as large as
silver dollars. The bill provides a fine
of from $1 to $3, with a fine for per
sistent offenders.
The congregation of a church on
Long Island is engaged in a war of
words concerning the pronunciation of
"Jerusalem." A young lady soloist,
singing "The Holy City," made it
"Jer-u-seelum." Bev. Charles E.
Gregg was shocked at this. Straight
way, he wrote a letter to the singer,
upbraiding her for her pronunciation.
He declared that the syllable "sa"
should be pronounced "ser" or "sar."
The congregation took up the question.
Dictionaries helped little and it s be
ing fought out yet.
a
In Switzerland a village has gone on
a strike. The entire town is interested.
Indemini is on strike against the fed
eral government. For several years
the inhabitants have been petitioning
for a road through the mountains to
the nearest Swiss towns, so that it
would not be necessary, as at present,
to cross the frontier into Italy for pro
visions. A campaign of passive re
sistance was inaugurated to emphasize
the grievances of the village. The
town officials have resigned and there
is none to enforce the laws or to col
lect taxes. No one will become a can
didate for office.
The legislature of Nevada has put
the Bono divorce market out of busi
ness, practically. The assembly of
law-makers has passed an amendment
to the divorce' laws making one year's
residence in the state compulsory upon
person b wishing to obtain divorces, in
stead of six months, the law's present
requirement. Business men of Beno
objected to the amendment and main
tained a lobby to work against it.
Patrolman Holcomb, of San Diego,
may lose an arm, as the result of be
ing bitten by a girl. He arrested her on
a charge of disorderly conduct and she
bit his hand. He paid no attention to
the wound, which has become infected.
California may have one of the most
severe "gun-carrying" laws in the
country, if the bill introduced by As
semblyman Ambrose of Los Angeles be
comes a law. He would make the car
rying of a concealed pistol a felony, as
well as the carrying of a black jack,
billy or a pair of brass knuckles. The
carrying of any other sort of weapon,
concealed,- is also a felony. The carry
ing of any firearm, such as a shotgun
or a rifle, in any public place by any
person not a citizen of the United
States is also made a felony.
a
To "Rube" Marquard, famous pitcher
for New York's team in the National
League, came a most humiliating ex
perience in epokane tne other day.
Marquard, who is traveling about the
country doing a vaudeville turn, es
sayed to catch a baseball thrown from
the Old National Bank building. A
great crowd watched him and laughed
as he misBed two balls. Marquard,
made peevish, offered $50 to anybody
in the throng who could do the trick.
His offer was accepted by W. E. Crow
foot, a photographer, who caught the
first ball thrown. Marquard made
good his promise and disappeared, fol
lowed by the boots of the crowd.
It is now considered certain that
Oregon will not have a "Blue Sunday"
law. A bill proposing to close on the
seventh day all amusements, such as
theaters and baseball parkB, has been
killed by the state legislature.
John A. Hogg, of Vancouver, Wash.,
braced himself with a poker, which
he rested against a cook stove, while
he turned on an electric light. His
hand was severely burned by the elec
tric current. He was held a prisoner
a moment, but broke the connection
by throwing his whole weight onto
the light fixture.
Massachusetts socialists defend she
red flag, their party's emblem, by
saying that it is the "flag of hu
manity and the flag of peace."
Looking It Over
HIBAM MAXIM, the man who
invented an instrument that
makes the discharge of fire
arms practically inaudible, has
announced that he has a machine with
which he expects to make cities noise
less. "The device will shed silence as
a lamp sheds light," he is quoted as
having said. It is stated that the
Maxim silencer can be placed between
the source of noise and the persons af
fected by it and absorb all racket.
People who like to sleep late of morn
ings may buy one of Maxim's inven
tions and put it in their windows, thus
defying the milk man and the early
street cars.
Hollow Horn Bear of South Dakota,
an Indian chief, wants to present
Woodrow Wilson with a peace pipe on
the day of his inauguration, as a fea
ture of that ceremonial occasion. If
the president-elect will allow Hollow
Horn Bear to present the pipe, a dele
gation of chieftains will journey to
Washington and will invest the giving
with tribal ceremony.
a "
President Taft believes that public
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Inter-State Publishing Co.
Failing Building
PORTLAND, OREGON
The Bread and Butter Question: Thick and Thin Don't Win a Meal
By
EVANSON
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