fhe Bahamas.
Tba Bahamas have no descendant
bow of the Indiana whom Columbua
found there. They were carried away
by the Spaniards to work In mines
and pearl fisheries elsewhere, when
they were not ruthlessly exterminated.
Of the white population many are the
descendants of the Loyalists of Geor
gia nnd South Carolina who fled hith
er when the United States became In
dependent. The blacks' speech pre
sents one specially curious feature:
they exchange their vs and wb, ex
actly as the Londoner did when Mr.
Weller Insisted upon spelling his
same with a "We."
FARM FOR A FIDDLE 5Eg a blizzard at sea
WOMAN GIVES LAND WORTH $2,
000 FOR A $3 VIOLIN.
Protectant Churches In Rome.
There are now 14 Protestant churet
buildings In Rome: Three Engllst
Episcopal, one Presbyterian, tw
Methodist, four Baptist, one Walden
slan, one German Lutheran, and onj
of the Free Italian church.
It's Pettit's Eye Salve
that gives instant relief to eyes; irri
tated from dest, heat, sun or wind.
All druggists or Howard Bros., Buffalo,
N. Y.
Manners vs. Mannerism.
There's a vast difference between
manners and mannerisms. For In
stance, manners takes Its soup softly
and quietly, while mannerism gargles
It. Manners says: "Parss the buttah,
please;" while mannerism bites a
chunk out of a piece of bread and
stutters: "Slip me the grease, will
you?" Detroit Free Press.
VALUE OF PINEAPPLE JUICE.
Delightful Drink Is Now to Be Had
In Convenient Form.
The man who thinks out and brings
out a new food preparation usually has
to create the "long-felt want" which
he fills. In tackling the pineapple
juice problem, no such difficulty con
fronted James I). Dole, of Honolulu.
When we eat pineapple it is for the
juice alone, and less fibrous and more
tender the fruit, the juicier it is and
the better we like it.
When the doctor orders pineapple in
-ases of thVoat trouble or certain stom
ach and intestinal difficulties it is the
pure, uncooked juice pressed from the
ripest obtainable fruit which he
wants his patient to have. It is this
same refreshing juice which the nurse
gives fever convalescents where cool
ing and slightly acid drinks are desir
able. So pineapple juice already had a
place.
The problem then, to be solved, was
how to get the pure juice of pineapple
on the market in Buch a form that it
would please the healthy lover of the
fruit, and be useful to the doctor and
the nurse. A syrup would not do, be
cause of the impossibility of suiting
individual tastes. Even the juice of
the finest Hawaiia canned pineapple
would not answer with its small quan
tity of preservative pure cane sugar,
because the physician needs to regulate
he amount of sugar prescribed. To
make a long story short, Mr. Dole
spent years in experiments which fin
ally resulted in the Hawaiia Pineapple
juice which bears his name.
Dole's is the Juice of "Picked Ripe"
Hawaiian Pineapples pressed out and
bottled on the Islands where the fruit
grows. Filtered, refined, sterilized in
the bottle, retaining all the natural
flavor and aroma, not a bit of sugar,
water, preservative, or anything else
is added. It has been four months on
the market. During this time the
Juice has been distributed all over the
United States, in some parts in ample
quantities, while in others the supply
has been very restricted.
Its success has been most gratifying
and unprecedented.
In its favor were the previous favor
able reception of Haiwaian Pineapple,
the general knowledge of its high
quality, the therapeutic values of
pineapple juice known to the medical
profession, and the remarkable pro
duct itself. So, four months have
sufficed to give this new drink a large
hold upon the people of the country
until the demand is practically unlimited.
Halibut.
Halibut Is the "holy but" or flound
er. The flounder plaice or but wai
called holy, It Is supposed, because II
was chiefly used as food on the fast
days of the church. "Hollyhock" ii
the holy hock or mallow, which got
that name because It was broughl
from Palestine.
Mrs. Llghtner of Paris, Mo., Defrauded
by Man Representing Self as Mu
sic House Agent Prize Hopf
Violin Proves Bogus.
New York. Carrying a carefully
wrapped bundle in both arms and
mumbling excitedly to herseif, 'Tve got
It," a little oid womati stepped nerv
ously into the violin department of
Lyon & Healy, this city.
five minutes later she was carried
to a car, moaning hysterically. What
she believed to be a genuine Hopf
vioiiu, an almost priceless instrument,
proved to be a fiddle not worth $3.
She had been swiudieu, she said, out
of her homo a farm worth $2,000
bought with her life's savings.
The woman was Mrs. J. M. Llghtner
Of Paris, Mo., she told a pathetic story
lo the oriicers of the piano house.
Early In July, she said, she was ap
proached by a man giving the name of
N. M. Swing, representing himself as
in agent of Lyon & Healy. He said
that he was searching for a rare Hopf
violin for which he asserted the com
pany would pay $5,000. A confederate
giving the , name of Price then ap
peared In Monroe, Mo., with the Instru
ment and Mrs. Llghtner hunted him
up and bought the vioyn.
"I had to go twenty-four miles to
And Mr. Price," wrote Mrs. Llghtner
In a letter to Lyon & Heealy. "He
had heard that the violin was very
valuable and I had to pay him $2,000
for It. I didn't have that much money
and deeded over my farm to him."
Ewing never called at the Llghtner
home to buy the Instrument The
victim became suspicious and wrote
Lyon & Healy on August 27, making
inquiry about the agent and asking
what price would be given for the vio
lin. A reply was sent stating that no
such person as N. M. Ewing was in
the employ of the company. Then
Mrs. Llghtner was also notified that
It would be necessary to see the violin
before any price could be made.
After learning how she had been
swindled Mrs. Llghtner took the first
train for home.
SKUNKS INVADE COUNTY SEAT
Don't Make Friends With the Cat,
Warning Since Animals
Shooed From Farm.
Ipswich, S. D. Don't make friends
with a cat, Is the advice given here
since the Invasion of this county seat
town by skunks began several days
ago.
As Willard Brown, a prominent resi
dent, was going home after dark, he
attempted to pick up what he took to
be the old house cat, but he was mis
taken and was fined a new suit of
clothes.
A day or two later one of the odor
iferous animals was found starting
upstairs In a business block.
Knute Knutesen, a farmer In Clear
Lake Township, has a skunk farm,
raising the animals for their oil and
fur, and local residents are of the
opinion that the visitants are strays
from the skunk farm.
OYSTER BITES MAN'S TONGUE
Restaurant Keeper Placed Tiny Shell
In Mouth as Temporary
Storehouse.
Warsaw, Ind. L. C. Hamman, a
restaurant keeper, was waiting on a
customer when he noticed among the
raw oysters he was serving one tiny
fellow, shell and all. He removed It
from the plate and placed It In his
mouth for safe keeping until through
waiting on his customer.
In response to the warmth, the oys
ter opened its shell, then closed as
nearly as possible, barring the impedi
ment of a tiny hit of Hamman's
tongue. This was followed by a series
of loud yells by Hamman.
One of Tom Hood's Last Jokes.
Shortly before his death, being vis
ited by a clergyman whoso features as
well as language were more lugubri
ous than consoling, Hood looked up
at him compaslonately and said, "My
dear sir, I am afraid your religion
doesn't agree with you." From
Planche's Reminiscences.
"8alt River."
That Imaginary stream called "8alt
river," up which defeated candidates
are supposed to be rowed, Is one of
the most felicitous of all our political
Americanisms, although its authorship
l unknown.
In Sunday School.
Teacher "What happened to Lots,
wife?" Young America "I suppose
you mean about her turning to salt,
but that looks to me like a yellow
Journal iory.'
Cow Charges Laundry.
Dayton, Wash. AH work was sus
pended In the ironing department of
a laundry here when a cow, being
driven to slaughter by Basil brothers,
became infuriated and, dashing
through an open door Into the wash
ing plant, sent frightened women pell
mell through all the available exits.
The cow was Infuriated by a red
apron worn by ono of the ironers.
At work in another department of
the laundry, R. B. Cady heard the
feminine screams for help and lassoed
the animal. After the red apron had
vanished the animal became quiet and
was driven from the building. Then
the dozen Ironers went timidly back
to work.
Steal the Watchdog.
Middleton, N. Y. Somo unusually
mean burglars visited the home of
Bernard Levlnson, on Benton avenue,
at night and after stealing $95 from
Mr. Levlnson's trousers, which were
on a chair, on leaving, stole the fam
ily watchdog
Seemingly Nothing Remained but to
Meet the End Without Cowardly
Complaint.
The roaring and shrieking of the
tempest, the thunder of the waves,
that Jarred the whole fabric with a
shock like earthquake, made fitting
accompaniment for the gloomy
thoughts that possessed me. Home,
Mends, life Itself all seemed lost.
Only one thing remained to meet the
end quietly, without any cowardly
complaint. I fell Into a sort of men
tal stupor, while all my physical en
ergies were concentrated in hanging
on to my position on the windward
side of the cabin, my feet braced
against the deck, my hands hooked
Inside the edge of the berth. Now
and then came a lull in the fury of the
gale, and I could hear a faint, wailing
cry like the call of little turkey chicks
strayed from their mother peep!
peep! pee-eo-eep! Here was food for
speculation. What in the world could
It be that made a noise like little tur
keyB? To solve that riddle immedlate
'y became the most engrossing thing.
After much search I discovered the
source of the sound; the wind was
blowing against the companionway,'
rebounding from that and whistling
through the keyhole of the cabin door.
A door In the bulkhead Bwung open
and In came Manuel, smiling affably
and reassuringly.
"Ah-h-h!" he exclaimed, "ver bad
Btorm. Dees morning I begin maka
da soup you like so moch, Meesf In
s'.zzz. Ahhh! Loavely r wit'
ham-a-bone. All morning da soup pot
on da galley stovo she 8lm-mar, sim
mer, Blm-mer. Den, a twenta minute
a twelve, com da greata, beega blank-a-da-blank
of a wave an' knock dowL
da sheep, an' al my bee-yootlful sb-up
Is gone to , all over da galley
wall!"
There Is not enough room on this
page to describe the long siege of
horror that settled down upon us. It
lasted for two days nnd a half. One
by one the pilots came down Into the
cabin to put on dry mittens and hang
up the wet ones that were freezing
their fingers. No fire could be made
for two days; for should another
Knockdown happen, the scattered
coals might set fire to the ship. I
don't think anybody ate anything
from Monday's breakfast until next
day; but my memory as to meals at
this time is vague, inasmuch as fear
(not seasickness) had driven away
from me all idea about food. William
Inglis, in Harper's Weekly.
CAP
and
BEIX$
WISE YOUNGSTER AN EXPERT
Garrulous Young Man Sure He Knew
Fresh Oysters but Didn't Recog
nize Rubber Ones.
The garrulous young man who
thinks he "knows It all," and some
more besides, stood in front of the
restaurant window.
"Fine Jar of ovsters vou have In
there," he commented.
"Yes." roc nn n (1 rifl . . i . m t
prietor, who was standing in the door
way.
"So nlumn
tf B B B I I I I .111 HMIUUf,, T M' II
It comes to telling a fresh oyster by
Its appearance, I'm the candy."
"WQ-iilr nTnArt h'"
"You bet! They say oysters are
lot running good this year, and yet
those in th"t Jar look the same as
those you had in the window two
years ago when oysters were plenti
ful." And the restaurant proprietor's fea
tures relaxed Into a pleasant smile.
"They are the same," was the quiet
response. "Those are rubber oysters,
'or show only."
COLDS
CURED IN ONE DAY
Munyons Cold Remedy Relieves the
head, throat and lungs almost immediately.
Checks Fevers, stops Discharges of tbe
nose, lakes away all aches and pains caused
by oolds. It prevents Grip and obstinate
Coughs and prevents Pneumonia. Price 25o.
Have you stiff or swollen joints, no mat
terhow chronic? Ask your druggi-t for
Munyon's Rheumatism Remedy and see
how quickly you will he cured.
If vou have any kidney or bladder
trouble, pet Munyon's Kidney Remedy.
Munyon's Vitalizer makes weak men
f trong ami restores lost powers.
Fruit of a Good Life.
When you see an old man amiable,
mild, equable, content, and rnnri.
humored, be sure that in his youth he
has been Just, generous and forbear
ing. In his end he does not lament
the past nor dread the future; he la
like the evening of a fine day.
Copernicus.
Nicholas Copernicus, 1471-1543, firwt
demonstrated the fact that the earth
mores around the sun rather than the
sun around the earth, which was the
un'.Tersally accepted belief.
Sad Disillusionment.
There were tables, of course, for It
.vas really a very good restaurant and
jne that I had consistently patronized
luring my ante-marital career, and
aow that the wife and baby were Jour
neying in the country for two weeks
(sans any soorap, tra-loo accompani
uent on my part, however), I seemed
:o owe It to reminiscent bachelor days
lo again sit at the horseshoe-shaped
:ounter.
A sweet-faced woman of about 45
Look my order, and I found myself
speculating upon what strange vicissi
tudes of fate might have reduced a
ady of her age and obvious refinement
:o such a sphere of action In her de
clining years.
Had she loved and lost the one
sweetheart of her youth, or was she
still longing for the letter "that never
:ame?"
However, I had finished my modest
unch and was waiting more or less
patiently for my check. When finally
I caught her eye she moved leisurely
Dver to the counter, and, after feeling
Srst in one and then in the other pock
3t of her Immaculate white apron and
slapping various portions of her ample
anatomy without any visible returns,
nurmured with a faraway look:
"Where did I put them checks?"
Chicago American.
Ultra-Swell.
Little Madge of Shantytown Is not
so fortunate as her well-dressed sis
ters and Is often forced to wear her
mother's "hand me downs." When she
appeared out on the river pier in a
skirt that was so long she could
scarcely walk all the gamins started
to Jeer her. "Get onto de umbrella
cover she has on," bantered Jimmy
Finn. "What do yer call it, anyhow.
Madge?"
And Madge elevated her little sun
peeled nose and retorted:
"Get some sense about yer, Jimmy
Finn, an' read de Paris styles once In
a while. Dls is one of de new 'hobble
'kirts.' "
a
"Ready Present Fire."
Otto Naumann, a Berlin artist, has
nventcd a firearm for emergency use.
it is a small but deadly pistol with
i very short barrel and it can be car
ried between the Hps and fired with
:he teeth.
Suppose you were held up by a high
wayman or a burglar and ordered to
lold up your hands, you could still
shoot him, provided, of course, that
fou were carrying one of Artist Nau
nann's firearms in your mouth. The
iveapon is very carefully constructed,
ind the Inventor claims to have ob
:ained as good results shooting at a
:arget as a good rifleman. As a mat
ter of course, the apparatus has to
ie used with great care to prevent the
powder from exploding inside the
iiouth. It requires also strong
nerves, for the detonation is much
ouder than when a revolver or a rifle
8 shot off.
Perseverance.
Seymour Do you know who that
fellow across the street is that poor
looking fellow on his uppers?
Ashley That'B Wasfirsler; twenty
rears ago he happened to win the first
prize In a short-story competition, and
ever since then he has been doing
nothing exoept trying to repeat his
performance."
Melodrama.
As the elghteen-carat villain leaped
down from the pasteboard castle the
boautlful heroine gave a shriek ol
despair.
"Harold McDuff!" she moaned, as
the great crystal tears welled in her
eyes, "you have been my undoing!"
Turning as white as a summer
boarding house sheet, the eighteen
carat villain vanished among the pa
per foliage. And the beautiful heroine
spoke the truth.
By stepping on the train of her
sown the ay:h conspirator had loos,
ened two tiny hooks up near th(
neck.
AWFUL.
Kow-Kwre
is not a "food" it is a medicine, and the
only medicine In the world for cows only.
Made for the cow nnd, as its name Indicates,
a cow cure. Barrenness, retained afterbirth,
abortion, scours, caked udder, and all similar
affections positively and quickly cured. No
one who keeps cows, whether many or few,
can afford to be without "KowKur;
It is made especially to keep cows healthy
Our book 'What to Do When Your Cows
Are Si ck'. sent free Ask your local dealer for
KowKure, "or send to the manufacturers.
Dairy Association Co., Lyndonvllls, Vt,
i ir
COFFFFf
TEA SPICES
BAKING POWDER
- EXTRACTS
.HIST RIHHT
;mx'1jiwi,y;i;e
CUJSSCTqDEVERS
rum LAN U, UHt
HOWARD E. BrRTON - Amwyer ana Chemlrt,
1 Ltudville, Coloritdo. Specimen price: Ciold.
Silver. Lead. 11. Gold, Silver. 75c; Gold 60o; Zino
or Copper. II. Mniltng envelope and full price Hat
Bent on application. Control and Umpire work ao
llcitod. Reference: Carbonate National Rank.
WC IV F I Fl broken macn'n!ry and casting
WW li iff aWlaU of all kinds by a new process,
making them as good as new. Machine work of
all kinds. We fix any old thing. Portland OiyAcctilen.
Welding CVrapanr. 305 kniu St Pbast Mia 6769. Poruaad, Or.
00 YOU WANT AN INCOME?
The Viava Remedies cure backache, nervoua
neas, female troubles and rectal diseases. Send
for our book free. We want good women agents
everywhere. Make money at home. Write for
particulars. The Viavi Co.. 609 Rothchild Build-in-,
Portland. Oregon.
PORTLAND COLLECTION AGENCY
317 Alisky Building. Portland. Oregon.
ALL DEBTS COLLECTED. NO COLLECTION NO CHARGE
Th Trust Magnate They tell me
that I am accused of being two
faced. His Secretary Worse than that.
Why, the newspaper Illustrators
have run your face up Into the hundreds.
A Luckless Family.
"His father had a leg broken, hl
brother was run over by the trolley,
and another brother had an arm brok
en while cranking up his auto."
"And did he escape all such serious
things?"
"He got married."
A Resemblance.
"What drink Is a complaint of bad
electric service like?"
"I can't see that It resembles an
drink."
"Why, isn't It a current whine f
46 Per Cent Protein-10 Per Cent Fat
THE WORLD'S BEST
FOR
COWS, POULTRY
ALL FARM ANIMALS
"It is almost without an equal as a concentrated
feed." U. S. Agricultural Dept. Bulletin No. 68
and 372.
SOLD BY ALL DEALERS.
PACJFIC OIL MILLS, Seattle. Wash.
ATRIP TO PORTLAND FREE
CUT RATES IN
PAINLESS DENTISTRY
Painless Extraction Fre
Oliver r tilings 30c
Gold Fillings 75c
22 K. Gold Crowns S3
W Porcelain Crowns S3
T 'L. Mol,.r O.ilrt r.. s.a
0 Bridge Work. 22K. Goid!!!!ai
Inlay Fills, PureQold $2
Best Rubber Plate on Earth S7
ALL THIS WORK IS GUARANTEED.
Don't throw your money away. A dollar saved
Is twodollars earned. Our original reliable Modern
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ment saves us tlmeand your money.
I0ST0N DENTISTS. 5th Morrison. Portland
Entrance 291' i Morriion. oppoalte Poitoffice and Meier
Fra.ilt. Eatabllabed In Portland 10 yeara. Open erenlnn
until 8 and Sundaya until 12x30. for people who work.
M v.: i
B
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