Side Lisa's History. 1 Peter the Great had started In to learn the ship carpenter trade. "I would have ahlpped as a Bailor before the mast," he explained, "only I don't like the Idea of being called 'old alt Peter.'" i Warning the jackies that "shiver my timbers!" would be conaldered lese j majesty and punished as such, ha nm. i seeded to chase the shavings along the work bench. Chicago Tribune. Coaaolattoa. First lobster My children wer caught on the shore this morning and taken up to that fashionable hoel. Second lobster That's too bad, but there's one consolation. First lobster And that Is? Second lobster They will get Into the best society. Cleveland Plain Dealer. Painted Lips. The "Personal Recollections of Suth erland Edwards," English music crltir,, records that after the peace of 1815 It used to be the rule for every hussar to wear a black mustache, and those who had neither a black mustache nor a fair one which they could dye were required to paint the semblance of a Mack mustache on their upper lip. Bad Blood la the cause of all humors, eruptions, boils, pimples, scrofulous sores, eczema or salt rheum, as well as of rheuma tism, catarrh and other troubles. The greatest blood remedy for all these troubles, proved by its unequaled record of cures, is Hood's Sarsaparilla In usual liquid form or In chocolated tablets known as Sarsataba. 100 A Common Experience. "It's a fact," declared Towne, "that my wife Is able to dress on compara tively little money." A writer In the Catholic Standard and Times discloses the secret "What!" exclaimed his companion. "Oh, come, now, what do you mean by comparatively little?" "I mean on little compared with what she thinks she ought to have." Let Him Oat. Mrs. Nagger Oh, James, how awk Ward! Mr. Smith' has come, and now we shall be thirteen at table. Mr. Nagger What then? Mrs. Nagger (with a shriek) Why, one of us will die before the year Is out! Mr. Nag ger (brutally) Never mind; I'm tough.- London PirkMefp. No Apologies to Offer. Stranger (In Drearyhurst) You peo ple here don't clean the snow oS your sidewalks very well, do youT Uncle Welby Gosh No, sir. It saves the sidewalks an' we b'lieve In con servln' our resources. See anything else you don't like, mister? BubjectlrelF. Barber Do you wish a close shave. Sir? Customer Tes a close mouthed have, if you please. Mothers will find Mrs. WlnsloVs Soothing Byrup the best remedy to use fox their uhiluiea luriug the teething period. Her Indorsement. "I want to get this check cashed," laid the fair young matron, appearing at the window of the paying teller. "Yes, madam. You must indorse it, though," explained the teller. "Why, my husband sent It to me. He Is away on business," she said. "Yes. madam. Just indorse It sign It on the back, so we will know and your husband will know we paid it to rou." She went to the desk against the wall, and In a few moments presented thA check trliimnhnnt having wrlttAn 'an Its back: Tour loving wife, Edith." According to a writer In the Journal of the Gypsy Lore Society, It was not In 1417 but In 1414 that gypsies made their first appearance in Western Eu rope, Montaigne was astonished, when he visited Switzerland In 15S0, to find that "at all meals they put on the table as many spoons as there are people present" At the MgUt School. Teacher1 You have heard, I presume, of the "fourth estate." Have you any Idea what It Is? Shaggy Haired Pupil Yes, slrt It's a quarter section of land. PIMPLES 'I tried all kinds of blood rem edict which failed to do me any good, but I have found the right thing at last My face was full of pimple and black-heads. After taking Cascarets they all left I am continuing the use of them and recom mending them to my friends. I feel fine when I rise in the morning. Hope to. have a chance to recommend Cascarets." Fred C. Witten, 76 Elm St., Newark, N. J, CUT THIS OUT. mail It with your ad dress to the Sterling Remedy Company, Chicago. 111., and rec iv- a handsome sou venir Gold Bon Bon FREE. REDUCE THE COST OF LIVING; ""CRESCENT BAKING POWDER 25c FULL POUND WE PAY CASH For homestead relinquishments, and can sell yout farms and ranches quickly. Let us handle youi business and we will guarantee your satisfaction. Give full particulars in first letter. DAVIS & BUITKAMP 610 Delcum Bide. Portland, Ore B LUE PILLS FOE BLUE PEOPLE. They loosen the Liver, tone the Sto much and relieva Biliousness, Indl fresti n and Headache, They tone and strengthen as they cleanse the system. Price 25c by mail or at vour drug store. X.-C CHEMICAL COMPANY Bukerslield, California. As a Base. "Professor, is there any foundation for the belief that every particle of matter Is a universe In Itself?" "My dear sir, you can found any be lief on human credulity." Chicago Tribune. On the Mend. Bessie Do you find that golf Is of real benefit to you? Bob Sure thing! I'm getting ex cellent control of my temper. Many of the strokes that I make with the utmost calmness now would have caused me to swear like a trooper six months ago. Only One "BROMO QUININf" That la LAXATIVE BROMO QUININE. Look for the signature of E. W. Grove. Used the World over to Cure a Cold in One Day. 26e In nt the Wlntlap. Gabriel was about to blow his trum pet "Stop!" uttered a commanding voice. "What for?" demanded Gabriel. "Who are you?" "I am O. Bernard Shaw," responded the voice. "I merely wish to protest against your following the absurd cus tom of playing The Star Spangled Banner' on such occasions as this. You can go ahead now." Chicago Tribune. As It Seemed to Her. "Mrs. Wilfong, how many lodges does your husband belong to?" "He's a member of four lodges and two councils." "What Is the difference between a lodge and a council?" "Well, when he goes to a lodge meet ing he generally stays later." Gl nicer Cake. One egg, one-half cupful of sugar, one tablespoonful of butter, one tea spoonful of cinnamon, one-half cupful of sour milk, a level teaspoonful of soda, one-half cupful each of New Or leans and Porto Rico molasses, two cupfuls of sifted flour. Mix the egg, sugar and butter till light, then add the ginger, cinnamon and molasses; dissolve the soda In the sour milk and add that; then add the flour, mixing all well together. Bake In a moderate oven. Casserole of Beef. Line a casserole or baking dish with boiled rice about one-half inch thick. Fill this cup with well-seasoned boiled beef or any left-over meat ground. Place a rice covering over all and heat them in the oven. Serve with sauce of one cupful strained to matoes, eight teaspoonfuls of flour and butter, salt, pepper and sugar to taste, place one onion in mixture, re moving when done. White Cake. Two-thirds of a cup of butter cream ed with two scant cupfuls of sugar, one scant cup of milk worked Into tne butter and sugar, four cupfuls of flour well sifted with three teaspoonfuls of baking powder, the whites of three large eggs or of four small ones, and one-quarter of a teaspoonful of flavor ing, added last of all. Bake in b moderate oven. Oyster Pie. Drain three pints of the best oysters and add one quart of thick, sweet cream and enough fine cracker crumbs to thicken, add pepper and salt and pour Into a deep dish linsd with puff paste. Cover with the paste and bake three-fourths of an hour. The paste for both upper and under crust should be quite thick. The coniidence lett by formers and 1 gardeners In Ferry Seeds to-day i would have been Impossible to.fcel in any seeds two score oi years i ago. We have made s. 1 science of seed I growing V 1 3'.-j3 always do V"- exactly what tou 'nj uj .1 !. ..I. VI mini. v, Baic everywhere. FEKBrS D10 SEED iaimuu Free on request D. M.FERRY A CO, Detroit. Mloh. I For Asthma, Bronchitis and all Throat Troubles Take PIS OS CURE TAt tIST ftlMQUl TOR (UCM 1 The relief is at quick ai it is certain. II H rleasant to take and guaranteod III! m aosoiuieiy tree irom opiates. i r All Dnssista, 28 ess. Jjljj eaeBSSBRBSBaBBBBBaaHMBaBSttHeVB DR. M ARTEL'S FEMALE PILLS. Seventeen Years the Standard. Prescribed and recommended for women's all. nenta a scientifically prepared remedy of proven worth. The result from their use is quick and permanent. For sale at all drug stores. Observation a. "Did you observe anything peculiar about that explorer's observations?" asked one arctic expert "Yes,", replied the other. "Most ot them were personal and somewhat pro fane." Washington Star. As Sometime Happens. "You'd like to have me give this a notice, I presume," said the literary dltor. "Indeed, I would," answered the au thor of the book; "the beat In the world." But the conscientious literary editor, tfter reading it, classified It as ono of the worst In the world. Catchlnar On. "Euphorbia," he groaned, "after all these years of devotion on my part are you going to close the door of hope In say face?" "Tes, Algy," she said; "but I'll open It when you er ring." Algy understood. ' He brought a soli taire ths next tlms hs came. Chicago Tribune. BROWN'S Beonciiiax Troches & convenient and effective remedy fat Coughs and osrsenees. Invslusble in Bronchial and Lunf Tfoublea m n Dingers ana opunn lot clearing the voles. InMrshr Ins from opiates ereny harmful inpatient. ics, 49 cents, ou cents ana SJ.UO pet box. p- meuaa on request. QN I. BP OWN fc SOW, Boston, Mses. Chocolate Sauce. One pine of sugar, one pint of milk, one egg well beaten, one tablespoon ful of butter, two squares of chocolate. Cook these Ingredients in a double boil er until of the consistency of cream, then remove from the stove and add a teaspoonful of vanilla. Serve hot Cold Meat Ixaf. Two cupfuls chopped fresh or cook ed meat, one egg, piece of butter If meat Is lean, one cupful of sweet milk, two cupfuls of crackers or bread crumbs, one apple chopped fine, one onion chopped fine, salt, pepper, and sage to taste. Bake one hour. Sance for. Jam Podding;. Put Into a saucepan, two cupfuls ot brown sugar, one cup of water, half stick of cinnamon, one teaspoonful of butter and a pinch of salt Boil rap Idly until the sauce is the consistency of sirup. Just before serving add one tablespoonful of brandy. White Chocolate lee Cream. This Is simply rich vanilla creatu with chocolate grated coarsely into It at the last moment just before freez ing. It will not turn dark like ordi nary chocolate, but remains white with the little speckles of chocolate throughout Bakes Bananas, Peel firm bananas and spilt In hah lengthwise. Lay In a' buttered pud ding dish, sprinkle with fine crumbs and bits of butter. Sift on a little salt and bakt until tender. Serve in the dish In which they were cooked. Orange Ice. Stir two pounds of sugar into halt gallon of boiling water, boll for a few minutes, then set aside to cool and add the Juice of six oranges and the Juice of four lemons. Freeze and pack way until wanted. Layer Cake. Cream a tablespoonful of butter wit, a cup of powdered sugar, add four beaten eggs and a cup of flour sifted with a teaspoonful of baking powder. Bake In layer tins. The recipe wll make two layers. Bints Abont the House. Cranberries cooked with grapes make a good dessert or pie. Sprinkle granulated sugar on top of Jellies to prevent mold. To remove the odor of fish from steel knives wash them In hot Tine gar, then suds. Whipped cream tinted with any veg etable matter Is tempting on a cup of hot chocolate. If a lamp wlck does not more easily In the holder draw out on or two threads from one side. In making fruit pies, when they boil over sprinkle some salt la ths oven and It will not smell. - wire brush Is excellent for clean ing milk bottles and a little soda la tha water sweetens them. atraisrattorwara. Ht You mustn't believe every beg gar who comes to your door. She But this was no common beggar. He was a sea captain who had lost every thing In a shipwreck. He How do you know he was? She He told a straightforward story about how his ship went to pieces on the coast ot Switzerland. Amended Veraloa. Alexander had defeated and captured Porus. "How do you wish to be treated T" he asked. "Like a king!" answered Porus, with dignity. "Good!" exclaimed his conqueror. "1 was thinking of using you as a plaster." For already he was beginning to be stuck on him, as It were. Fortunes of War. "But, Senator," asked the reporter, who Is to pay. the cost of placing the country on a complete war footing and keeping It there?" "My dear boy," said Senator Lots mun, "It's a tossup between our pos terity and the posterity of some Euro pean or Asiatic power, and really doesn't Interest us. Try one of these Imported perfectos." Shake Into Tour Shoes Allen's Foot-Ease, a powder for the feet. It cures painful, swollen, smarting; sweating feet. Makes new shoes easy. Sold by all DruKtrista and Shoe Stores. Don't accept any substitute. Sample "BEE. Address A. S. Olmsted. Le Roy, N. Y. BI Using;. "Our son doesn't get his brains from you," says Mr. Jawback. 'Vu," uusAcis Mrs. Jan tack, with meaning. "I confess he must have got his brains from you. At least some body got yours If you ever had any." Cleveland Leader. Does Not Color Hair Ayer's Hair Vigor, as now made from our new improved formula, does not stain or color the hair even to the slightest degree. Gray hair, white hair, blonde hair is not made a shade darker. But it certainly does stop falling hair. No question about that. Dots not change the color of the hah. A yers formula with saou bottle 9 Show it to your doctor a ik hlmTbout It, then do as he esys Indeed, we believe it will stop every case of falling hair unless there is some very unusual complication, something greatly affecting the general health. Then you should consult your physician Also ask him about the new Ayer's Hair Vigor. .Hade by the J. C. Aysr Co., Lowell, Mass. . PILES CURED IN 6 TO 14 DAYS PAZO OINTMENT is iruaranteed to cure any ease of Itching-. Blind, Bleeding or Protruding Piles in to 14 days or money refunded. 60c Its Location. "It's too early to look for the comet with the naked eye, Johnny," said Mrs. Lapsllng. "If you had a telescope, though, you'd ,flnd It, I think, some where In the consolation of the Can-tharldes." Worth Its Weight in Gold. It's PETTIT'S EYE SALVE, strength ens eyes of the old, tonic for eye strain, weak and watery eyes. All druggists or Howard Bros., Buffalo, Ne i La.vlvsaneae. "People are getting so they do as they please," said Mr. Slrlus Barker, gloomily. "But see how we are progressing!" "Yes. Look at these aeroplanes. We aren't satisfied with snapping our fin gers at the revised statutes and police regulations. . We haven't even any re spect for the law of gravitation." Washington Stnr. ' Don't waste time and money plant ing poor seeds. Our seeds won First Grand Prize at the Seattle Exposi tion. Our prices are reasonable. Big Catalogue free. Send for a copy. Vogeler Seed Co. Salt Lake City, Utah MODERN DENTISTRY EXPERT At Prices thai Defy Competition TEETH WITHOUT PLATES A SPECIALTY t V I v tj PAINLESS EXTRACTION 50o SILVEK KILLINGS 50c up GOLD FILLINGS $1.00 up S2K GOLD CROWN $5.00 GOOD RUBBER PLATE S5.00 THE BEST RUBBER PLATES $8.00 WHALEBONE PLATES 110.00 Out-of-town patients can obtain perfect work and save money by calling at our office. NO STUDEN rS NO GAS NO COCA1NB All work guaranteed for ten years CHICAGO PAINLESS DENTISTS 323V Washington St.. Cor. Sixth Established 15 yean. Hem to stay. P N U No. B-'IO w II KN writing; to advertisers please mention snia paper. The Kind You Have Always Boucrht lias borne the siirna. ture of Clias. II. Fletcher, and. lias been made under his personal supervision for over 30 years. Allow no one to deceive you in this. Counterfeits, Imitations and Just-as-good" are. but Experiments, and endanger the health of Children Experience against l.xpcrimcute What is CASTORIA Castoria Is a harmless substitute for Castor Oil, Pare goric, Drops and Soothing1 Syrups. It is Pleasant. It contains neither Opium, Morphine nor other .Narcotic substance. Its acre is its guarantee. It destroys Worms and allays Fcverishness. It' cures Diarrhoea and "Wind. Colic. It relieves Teething: Troubles, cures Constipation and Flatulency. It assimilates the Food, regulates the Stomach and IJowels, giving: healthy and natural sleep. The Children's Panacea The Mother's Friend. The Kind You Hare Always Bought .Bears tne Signature of In Use For Over 30 Years. ths esarsuR Mama. TT auaasy amsrr. nsw yeas orrr. RZ3 The Right Way In All cases of DISTEMPER, PINK EYE, INFLUENZA, COLDS, ETC, Of All Horses, Brood Mares, Colts, Stallions, is to "SPOHN THEM" On their tongues or In the feed pat Spohn's Liquid Compound. Givetheremedy toallof them. It acts on the blood and (lands. It routs the disease by expel Una the d iseae e irerms. 1 1 wardsoffthe trou ble, no matter how they are "exposed." Absolute ly free from anythinjrinjurious. A child can safe !r take it. COeentsandtl.CO; $5.00 and Slu.OOtha dozen. Sold by druggists, harness dealers, or sent express paid by the manufacturers. Special Agents Wanted SPOHN MEDICAL CO. Chemist and Bacteriologists GOSHEN, IND, U.S.A.