LIHCOLMQIIIPLEJDEII
RC COLLINS, tdHof
f N HAYDEN, Manas cr
TOLEDO OREGON
A setting hen may be a loafer, but
.he gets results.
Truth Is stranger than fiction that
la to say, mora of a stranger.
Well, there's one comfort nobody
a asking, "la It hot enough for your'
The ultimate consumer has at lus
been located. He Is the dog that ate
Cook's shoes.
It language was given to us to clothe
our thoughts, It's too bad there are so
many misfits.
One of the things a man can't un
derstand is why his enemies seem to
have so many friends.
Until the earth gets softer aero
planing is hardly likely to become us
afe a sport as croquet.
Every man, of course, Is of some Im
portance In this world, but seldom as
much as he thinks he is.
To cure the Anglo-German war fever
Europe should take a large dose of
'iilei uauuui ImuIugi! IvYO.
An Illinois man has worked out a
system for living 100 years, but It la
going to take time to give it a thor
ough test.
Vice and crime will hide their ugly
heads In due course of time If there
Is anything In a monthly magazine
crusade against them.
How much should a man have when
he marries? Detroit News.
About five times as much as he
thinks two can live comfortably on.
Nobody seems as yet to have been
able to devise a punishment that will
1U the crime of the person who calls
you up on the telephone and asks:
"Who la this?"
"I've had six husbands and I'm sick
of matrimony," said a Kansas City
woman when arraigned on a charge
of bigamy. But has she, really given
matrimony a fair trial?
A good many people who are dis
posed to complain because Mrs. Pank
hurst, the English suffragette, has come
to this country may have forgotten
that Carrie Nation went over to Eng
land, with our consent, not long ago.
The public drinking cup on trains
Is dangerous because of Its location,
the questionable character of the Ice
water that Is purveyed and the use
of the cup by all sorts of people. The
most baleful and the most loathsome
diseases may be transmitted by a
drinking cup.
J. Plerpont Morgan has tried to buy
a royal castle In Italy and failed, al
though he offered 15,000,000 for It, the
Italian government claiming that no
foreigner should be permitted to own
the historic pile. In order to over
come the difficulty Mr. Morgan might
buy Italy and thus cease to be a for
eigner In that country.
Dr. Cook has so much trouble over
his trips, that there would seem to
be very little Inducement for him to
make another. There Is a story told
of a lawyer who was a bad husband,
bad father, bad neighbor and generally
a bad man' morally, though he had
been very successful in his profession.
For the funeral a new preacher In the
town was selected so that he would
not know Just what kind of a man tho
lawyer had been. The preacher eulo
gized him highly. When he had heard
all he could stand to hear without
unburdening himself to someone pres
ent, the Judge of the court In that
town leaned over to a lawyer who sat
beside him and remarked, "Well,
there's mighty little Inducement for a
really good man to die in Smlthvllle
now."
President Lowell, the new head of
Harvard, adopts the current Impres
sion of the phase of Shakespeare's
later life when he says In one of his
recent addresses, discussing the Inef
fectiveness of mere opportunity:
"Shakespeare himself did much of his
writing under the pressure of finish
ing plays for the stage; and even
Shakespeare, when rich enough to re
tire as a country gentleman, wrote
no more." It Is true that opportunity
does not certainly, or even probably,
produce results In any line of effort.
There are thousands of concrete In
stances that could be cited to prove
It. .But we do not like to let the view
go undisputed that Shakespeare
ceased to write as soon as the neces
sity of earning money by his work
was removed. It is true he produced
no more after his retirement to Strat
ford. But one of his loving biograph
ers contends that this was not Shake
speare's intention. He holds that it
was the intension of the great bard
of Avon to give his leisure to a care
ful revision of his hastily written
plays; but that before he could adjust
his affairs and settle down to work he
was carried to an untimely grave by
a sudden illness. Tie sanitary condi
tions of the vicinage In Shakesneare't
time were extremely bad, and a glori
ous life was cut don In Its prime
by a .sharp attack of fever, after oaly
three days of illness. It Is mote sat
Isfactory to think of Shakespeare as
preparing to begin Intellectual work
anew, with better opportunities, thai
to think of him as planning a life oi
ease because a competence had been
won. And It is almost in'oxlcatinf
to Imagine what a rich additional leg
acy the. world of letters might hav
Inherited from that prodigious Intel
lect had his life been spared for leis
urely authorship.
What constitutes an ' amateur In
athletics is a problem which has long
bothered the officials of athletic or
ganizations, and especially those" In
authority at colleges and universities
It ha3 developed bitter controversies
Knd distinctions have been drawn sc
fine that most people have had diffi
culty In recognizing them. Broadly
speaking, every one knows that an
amateur, as distinguished from a pro
fessional, does not compete for money.
But that Is only the beginning of th
story. In the hope of bringing the
leading governing bodies In the ath
letlc world into closer agreement, the
London Olympic committee has senl
out a number of questions. Can a man
be an amateur In one sport and a pro
fessional In another? Can' a man re
cover amateur standing after once los
ing It? Does a man lose amateur
standing through competing with a
professional? Can an amateur receive
expenses? These are some of the
questions. There ought to be clearly
defined and universally recognized
rules governing amateurism, and it is
hoped the efforts of the London com
mittee will accomplish something to
ward this end. In this country, how
ever, there Is a feeling that English
standards of amateurism are based too
much on the Idea that only the leisure
class Is free from a taint of profes
sionalism. This, of course, Is too snob
bish for democratic ' America, where
it is held that a boy who works In
a mill or store may nevertheless h
strictly an amateur when he competes
in games or snorts on Saturday niter.
noon. There have been many reforms
in college athletics in recent years.
Diit tne problem of amateurism Is still
troublesome. There are sharu differ.
ences on the subject of summer base-
uan, ror example, and no doubt under
the guise of "expenses" there sr evils
to be eradicated at many institutions.
oport ior sport's sake is the athletic
meal, but like nianv ideals it u .
ceedlngly difficult of attainment.
BURGLARS' TOOLS. '
Maul of Them Mn.le hy Supposedly
lleniipetable Mechanics.
Every little while, said a detective
recently, the police arrest a man with
a set of burglar's tools In his posses
sion, and one naturally wonders where
iney an come from.
It is easy to buy a gun of anv d
scrlption, and the most reuutahln er.
son would not be ashamed to be seen
purchasing the most wicked-looking
knife ever made. But who would know
where to get a "jimmy" or a device
for drilling Into a safe or anv of the
many tools used by the professional
burglar in the pursuit of his calllmr?
There are places In the large cities!
where these things are made and sold
to the users, but such places are ex
ceedingly scarce. It may seem a little
strange to learn that most of the tools
used In burglaries are made bv me
chanics who are looked upon as re
spectable men in the community.
When a burglar wants any liartlcu-
lar tool made he goes to a mechanic
who can do the Job and pays him per
haps five times what It Is actually
worth for making the tool and keen
ing quiet about It. Many detectives
can recall cases of this kind that have
come to light.
One In particular occurred some
years ago, when an escaped convict
named Williams went to a blacksmith
and got him to make a lot of drills to
be used In safe cracking. He person
ally superintended the tempering of
the steel, but when the Job was nearly
completed It leaked out, and Williams
was arrested, In this Instance the
blacksmith knew nothing of the use
to which the tools were to be put.
Most of the tools used by burglars are
secured In the same way. Philadel
phia Inquirer.
Papehs
BY
THE
Snrv
I za
WHY THE UNIVERSE WILL NEVER DIE.
By F. O. Henkel.
On philosophic grounds Herbert Spencer was
convinced there must be cycles of growth and
decay In the evolution of the universe. More
over, It may be asked, how Is It that the uni
verse Is not dead already? 11' It has existed
from eternity there has been an Infinite time
for this dissipation to take place. On the
other ha'nd, we may say that nothing what
ever can be postulated, as to an Infinite uni
verse at all, except that it be Infinite, the dissipation of
its energy must take an infinite (tme, and so the death
"of the universe will never come off at all.
Though It is true that the suns of the universe are
growing colder by radiation, this radiant energy Is ab
sorbed and preserved by the dark stars, and the nebulas
st low temperature. Of recent years It has been shown
that the quantity of dark and faintly .luminous matter
In the part of -the universe w"hlch alone we can reach
with our . telescopes Is far greater than was formerly
supposed to be the case. Photographs of regions of the
sky taken after long exposures have revealed the exist
ence of nebulous matter utterly unknown before.
Under the influence of gravitation matter tends to
concentration In vast centers, but this Is counteracted
by the scattering action of the light pressure. This
idea of the balancing of contrary tendencies is ancient,
and we well remember being told of the Uvo "forces, at
traction and repulsion, by which the world Is kept go
ing." The philosophic notion Is at least as old as Aris
totle. "Solar systems are evolved from nebula; nebula
In their turn are produced by the collision of suns."
DO YOU KNOW HOW TO SAVE MONEY?
By John A. Howland.
Almost universally the knowledge of how to
save enters Into the modern formula for suc
cess, and ,the question of method and ways
and means to saving is open to discussion. If
"keeping" every possible piece of money com
ing Into one's possession may be miserliness,
there must be some phase of saving that is
reprehensible.
In my experience of men I have seen
enough examples of arrested business development
brought about by early savings to bring the 'point
strongly home to me. Through hoarding earnings and
perhaps making a few early ventures In speculative
chances that proved successful, many a young man has
acquired a bank account that was beyond his capacity
to appreciate. His normal friends, looking on with both
envy and admiration, have helped him to lose his head.
His precocious pride has been pricked until the thought
of chance of losing that which he has accumulated be
comes Impossible to him. The spirit of the miser is
aroused In him. Whatever his business ability may
have been, It Is arrested In Its development.
Everywhere, In every phase of life, the experienced,
thoughtful person Is confronted with the problem of
saving. . It Isn't wholly the question, "Can I afford to
spend?" Quite as frequently It Is the question, "Can 1
afford to save?" Wisdom is necessary to the answer
ing. "Wasting at the spigot and saving at the bung" la
one of the old, old similes which approximates the meat
of the whole question of saving. Each man must ask.
himself how much and when and where he shall save.
But wisdom and experience must dictate the satisfac
tory answer.
WOMAN NOW COMING INTO HER OWN.
By Ad M my Krecker.
This Is woman's age in part because It la
an age when the finer forces that women use
and the sweeter Ideals that they love are be
ing valued by the world. In a word, the spir
itual and the esthetic forces were latent In
cruder ages, but now are beginning to operate.
Music h'us been a costly Indulgence, a soft
pleasure, with little, If any, hard work to do.
Every girl has been expected to play the
piano or to sing as a part of her education, which
has been ornamental rather than useful. But music
has a function of much grandeur and dignity to fulfill.
The old Greeks knew this and used music to cure dis
ease, to calm troubled spirits, to purify and uplift the
mind. Their Ideas are reviving. The therapeutic value
of sweet sounds and harmonies is being appreciated.
Aud the power of roil to c.invev subtle and exalted
thought Is being realized. "Music begins where words
leave off."
All the woman nature which lay dormant to a de
gree, unutilized, unrecognized, misunderstood through
the base, brutish ages, is now awakening and beginning
to energize In the gentler times when Its subtle power
and sweetness have a legitimate place.
MYSTERIOUS DISEASE AMONG CHILDREN.
By Dr. Howard L. Martin.
A mysterious new disease designated by
the profession as "infantile paralysis" has
lately been spreading among the very young
children of Kansas, Iowa and Nebraska. The'
disease, -though suggestive in some of its
phases of meningitis, must not be confounded
with that more mallgnaut malady. Few of
yf J the babies that have been affected with pa
J ralysis have died, but In meningitis there is
always a big percentage of mortality. This new ailment
begins with a fever, Is succeeded by vomiting and sharp
pains of the stomach and completes its evil work by at
tacking the spinal cord, causing a paralysis of the leg's
and other muscle groups. The suffering, when death
does not ensue, usually lasts for several weeks; then t
goes away, but the paralysis continues. So far, It does
not appear to be contagious, as frequently only one child
in a large family will be attacked. There Is hardly any
doubt, though, of Its being Infectious. Up to this time
no child has recovered the use of Its limbs, and the doc
tors are at their wits' ends trying to find the cause oi
the disease and Its cure.
4MJH t 'I' '8' 'I' 4 fr 'I' 'I' !' I"!"!' 1' 'I1 '1' "I1 'i '
A MAN WHO "MOVED ON,
Th Finlahar.
Lawyer What Is your occupation?
Witness I'm a piano finisher.
Lawyer Be a little more definite.
Do you polish them or move them?
Boston Transcript.
So many people Impose on others,
and' think: "They'll never notice It."
But they will notice It, and, what li
mora, exaggerate it
4v;-;ii'
A youth who, as early In life as he
Is a free man, decides to "work for
himself," often lays the foundation of
a fortune sooner, than his comrade
who is willing to occupy a more de
pendent position. One man, now a
very rich cattleman of Texas, possess
ing lands which are more than suffi
cient In extent to make a German prin
cipality, owed hla independent Start
In life to an uncomplimentary remark
which his mistress made about him.
The man, who was a poor farmer's
boy In Rhode Island before the Civil
War, went to the Southwest to seek
his fortune while he was still a callow
youth. But although he was callow
he was extremely long-legged, and
this circumstance won him Immedi
ately the name of "Shanghai," by
which he was almost exclusively
known to his friend's in that part of
the world.
He himself now tells how, on his
arrival In Texas, he went to work
for a farmer who had several slaves.
There was no one on the place except
Shanghai and a negro named Pete
who could ride a certain horse, and
it often fell to Shanghai's lot to
mount this fractious beast. But one
day It happened that when Pete was
on the horse, It threw him and then
fell on him.
This happened near the planter's
house. The planter and his wife and
several attendants ran out to the as
sistance of the negro, who appeared to
be dead. As soon as she saw the slave
lying senseless, the woman cried out:
"O dear, how unfortunate! There's
an eigh'thundred-dollar negro killed!
Now If It had only been Shanghai, it
wouldn't have made any difference."
Shanghai was In hearing of this
eminently economic remark, and he at
once said to himself, "If I'm not worth
as much as a negro Blave, I guess I'll
move on to some place where I can
make myself worth It."
He "moved on" to the plains, en
gaged at first In a small way In the
cattle business, later furnished cattle
In great quantities to the Confederate
army during the war, and eventually
grew very rich. ;
When a man loses his job he feels
Wit of place.
DR. MOTHER.
THtt D. MOTHER
Tnu WEAVING- OF
KNOWS .SO WELL
WONDER SPELL.
A little wound, a little ache, '
A little blistered thumb to take
With touch of love and make It well
These things require a mother's spell.
Ah, sweet the progress of the skill
That science brings unto the 111!
Vast range of methods new and fine;
But when our little ones repine,
The mother Is the very best
Of doctors Into service prest!
Sunshine and air and mother's spell
Of helping little lads get well,
And helping little lassies, too
Here are three remedies that do
So much more, often, than the grave,
Skilled hands that try so hard to save!
For Dr. Mother, don't you know,
Qives something more than skill
gives so
Much of herself; oh, so much
Of love's sweet alchemy of touch!
Upon a little ward-room bed
A little curl-encircled head,
A little slender hand and pale,
A little lonesome, homesick wall,
Loved nursing best of skill and care
But oh, behold the wonder there
When Dr. Mother, bearing sun
From where the winding roses run,
Leans down with hungering love an
kiss!
There la no medicine like this!
In little child-heart's hour of woej
Raid, ache or life-wound's throb and
throe
The Dr. Mother knows so well
The weaving of love's wonder-spell-Just
what the little heart requires;
Just how to cool the fever fires;
Just how much tenderness and cheef
Will calm the little doubt, and fear;
How much of tenderness will ease
Alone she knows such arts as these!
Baltimore Sun. :
The Gomlp,
Nell She's an awful gossip. She
tells everything she hears.
Belle Oh; she tells more than that.
Philadelphia Record.
Mildew.
An easy method of removing mil
dew Is to place the article In a warm
oven for a few moments and then
brush It