JUST BEFORE WINTER COMES.
INDIAN BUILT A RAILROAD.
Chickens roostin' iu the barn,
Too cold in the trees;
Folks Is keepin' close to hum,
Jes' like honey bees.
Frost gits at yer rheumatiz,
Ain't no use to holler,
Col' is gittin' in yer bones.
Pains is boun' to toiler.
Mornin jes the time to sleep,.
Col' outside the kiver,
Dad shouts .up it's time to bounce,
Boys begin to shiver;
Xluskin' corn out in the fiel
Ain't so mighty 'musin'
WHEN I PLAYtD GOLF.
When I played golf I learned to eat
Some things I dared not eat before.
I learned another-tongue complete,
I learned to lie about my score.
When I played golf I learned to flirt
An opportunity most rare
And as I cameoed the dirt
I picturesquely learned to swear.
When I played golf X learned to steal
The balls the other players lost.
I learned to spend my all and feel
'Twas wrong to stop and count the
cost.
When I played golf my great concern
Was this: I say it to my shame
The only thing I did not learn
Was how to play the cussed game.
Life.
I TOM'S BLUNDER.
OM BENTLEY was a fool. That
1m to sav. he was eeneraily nc-
o.ntiul with tinirlrnr RPTlRft
than his fellow men. Certainly he had
abilities of a fair order, but they were
not of the kind adapted to carry him
through the ordinary affairs of life
without some blunder here and there.
Tom fell in love. Not that this might
be considered as the natural result of
Ills affliction, but it led him to the
Wunder here recorded.
When Tom first met Miss Amanda
Smith he was acting as private secre
tary to a wealthy retired senator. Just
about the time Tom's heart bade him
unburden himself at the feet of Miss
Amanda, his employer went abroad,
taking his secretary with him. Why
he did not propose to her by letter, I
do not know; nor was It any of my
business; I record simply facts.
A year passed by before Tom's em
nlover was disposed to return, and then
hlR return was unexpected, else Tom
uld hardly have had the chance to
Ajuake tms' blunder.
It was a beautiful May morning. Al
'Fore the sun gits really up
Itather be a snoozin'.
Quail is hollerin' in the woods.
Seems jes' like they know
Folks so busy huskiu' corn
Hunting's got to go;
Jes' you wait thar, Mr. Quail,
Jes keep up yer tootin';
Spen' yer time a crowin now,
Soon there'll be some shootin.
Soon's we git the woodshed full,
En corn all in the crib,
Then we'll git our huntin' togs,
ter a good night's rest, Tom had stroll
ed down town to attend to some busi
ness, in order that his mind might
be freed from all cares, preliminary to
a call upon Miss Smith, Toward noon,
his business completed, he entered a
fashionable cafe, which was, to him,
replete with memories of happy visits.
In company with her for whom he had
been languishing a whole year. The
seat he took gave him a position
whence he might admire his own at
tractions In a full length of French
plate, and also observe the other guests
plate, and also observe the other
guests.
Before he was half through lunch the
mirror made known to him the pres
ence of a very striking couple. She
was young, beautiful and Miss Aman
da Smith! He well.. Tom did not
know him, but observed,, with paling
cheek, that the two were very much
devoted to each other. Finally he no
ticed a startling fact. Miss Smith,
with feminine care, was Just In the act
of passing a beautiful white hand over
her tresses. Tom watched It, In all
the fascination of a lover: until sud
denly his heart began to sink. On the
third finger of Miss Smith's left hand
was a wedding ring!
"Great Scott, she's married," poor
Tom moaned. The next minute be was
off like a shot.
I knew nothing of all this until some
time after; In fact, not until I received
a letter from Tom, In which he up
braided me for a lack of friendly In
terest, In not having acquainted him
with the news of Miss Smith's mar
riage. He detailed the scene In the
cafe, and told me that his life was
ruined; that he never cared to return
again to his native town. He was now
hpldrfig a good position In New York,
and would stay there.
I wis a little perplexed by this turn
of events, yet I correctly guessed the
affair to be complicated by his stupid
ity. I resolved to see Miss Smith, and,
If possible, ferret out the mystery. Ac
cordingly, one fine afternoon, I called
upon her, In the hope that circum
En you won' be so glib;
Dogs'U fin' you in the bresb.
Spite o' all yer boastin',
Gnn'll then begin to bark,
Soon you'll be a roastiu'.
Autumn's jes' the time o' year
Makes yer heart git glad;'
Summer's work mos' finished up
En winter ain't so bad;
Settin' roun' a-poppin' corn,
Er dozin' in a chair;
In summer can't be lazy, '.
Ain't no time to spare.
-Lynn C. Doyle.
stances would bring about som soln.
tlon of Tom's troubles.
The first thing I observed, when we
were seated for a chat, was hir Wt
hand. Neither there nor. on the other
band could I see anything in appear
ance approaching a wedding ring. I
resolved upon a bold expedient.
"1 miss the plain gold ring you some
times wenr," I said.
"Oh, yes," was her reply. "Excuse
me for a moment, and I will it
There Is a very sad story connected
wun it.
She returned shortly.' and handed tn
me what was unmistakably a wedding
ring. While I was examining ic she
reiaiea to me the story of a dear rnn-
ln, who, after wearing It one short
year, had died in far-off India.
"But, Miss Smith." I asked, with u
freedom of a friend, "are you not
afraid to wear this In such a way that
It might mislead people?"
"I never do," she replied. "Indeed,
I make It a point of wearimr It nUir.
on my right hand."
This was all the more perplexing. I
knew her to be precise and careful; I
knew Tom was not such a fool that
he could not tell the rlsrht hand fmtn
the left.' It was certainly Strang, and
for a few minutes we dropped the mat
ter. At last, an Idea having struck
me, 1 asked Silas Smith to put the ring
where she usually wore It on th third
finger of the right hand. Then I gent
ly turnea ner to a mirror, held up her
arm, and asked what the mirror said.
Astonishment spread over her face as
she looked.
"Why, it seems to be on my left
hand! I never thought of that."
I did not explain to her the reason of
my Interest, but that night I sat down
and wrote a long letter to Tom, calling
him some choice names, and warning
him that his folly would ultimately
bring untold trouble upon himself If
he did not reform.
My harshness, however, did not pre
vent me from being, three months Int
er, the best man at Toin's wedding.
Waverley Magazine,
"How do you suppose she manages
to have the reputation of being so good
natured?" "Easy enough. She never
cultivates any opinions of her own."
Brooklyn Life.
"Did that girl encourage you any?"
"Well, when I called she didn't appear
herself, but she sent her mother in to
see me Instead of her father." Indian
apollo Journal.
Suggestion. Wife We need a new
set of china, dear. This one is nearly
gone. Husband Why don't you wait
until we get a new cook and start even?
Harper's Bazar.
"Does this climate agree with you?"
said the solicitous person. "Very sel
dom," answered the man of serious
mein. "I'm a professional weather
prophet." Washington Star.
Tommy rop, what does It mean to
fritter your time away? Tommy's Pop
Oh, that's Just another way of ex
pressing the futility of arguing with a
woman. Philadelphia Record-.
"What makes you look so gloomy?"
"I Just had an awful shock." "Did you,
really?" "Yes, I just heard a man who
is the same age as myself referred tn
1 uiu. muadelphla Press.
"Isn't that prominent politician some
thing of an egotist?" "I think so; he
won't even let his wife's photograph be
taken without his bust iu the back
ground." Indianapolis Journal.
"Johnny! Johnny! You're so nolsv.
'm going to have rubber soles nut on
all your shoes." "That's great, mal
And, oh, ma! get me some rubber el
bows, too!" Indianapolis Journal.
"No, Tommie, dear, you don't get any
more Jam. Next time, when vou hnv
been a very good child, you get some
more. "say, mother, do you think it
will keep so long?" Brooklyn Life.
Mrs. Smith So Hattle is going to
marry Mr. Stlckker, after all? Mrs.
Brown Yes. she was forced to It. It
was the only way of ever having an
evening to herself. Boston Transcript.
"Why do you leave your windows
open at night? Aren't you afraid of
burglars?" "Yes, that's the reason. If
I keep the windows shut they'd proba
bly break the - glass." Philadelphia
Press.
Ills Reason. Costlgnn Casey hozn't
drank a dhrop since he took out the
"accident policy." Cassldy Whoy; Cos
tigan He sez he's noticed thot it's al
ways sober men thot gits hurted.
Judge.
Husband I see they're advertising
bargains in patent medicines at Kutt
& Price's drug store. Wife Isn't that
too aggravating? There Isn't a thing
the matter with any of us. Philadel
phia Record.
Compensation. Cleverton I find
nowadays that If a man wants to marry
a girl he has to work .till he gets her.
Dashaway But if It's the right girl he
doesn't have to work-afterward!
Brooklyn Llfei
"I suppose you have been a good boy,"
said the youngster's uncle. "Well,"
Was the answer, "I haven't had to be as
good as usual. You see, we only have
one circus a summer nowadays."
Washington Star.
"She used to say he was a man of
very strong will power." "Yes, that
was before they were married." "And
how does she put It now?" "Now she
says he's as stubborn as an ox." Chi
cago Times-Herald.
Jones She's a fine-looking woman,
and then such a splendid carriage she
has! Smith Splendid carriage? Guess
there's some mistake. Never knew her
to ride In anything but the trolley cars.
Boston Transcript.
"What are you buying all those traps
for?" "Doctor's Orders. He tells me
I need a little recreation and Insists
that I should go duck-hunting with
him." "Huh! Seems to me that's a sort
of quack remedy." Philadelphia Press.
Tess I thought she was going to
marry old Gotrox. Jess She was, but
she broke the engagement. Tess--What
for? Jess When she accepted
him he told her she had put new life In
him. Philadelphia Press.
"We are Just holding a love feast,"
aid young Mr. Linger, audaciously, to
Mr. Frlsble, when that father of an en
gaged daughter put bis head In the
parlor doorway at 11:25 p. m. "I
thought it must be a protracted meet
ing," said the old gentleman, as he
withdrew. Harper's Bazar.
Mrs. Newrlch That Mrs. Hyart Is a
stuck-up thing. I know Just as much
about music as she does; she needn't
get funny. Mrs. Browne Why, what
has she done? Mrs. Newrlch O! she
tried to trip me up to-day. Asked If I'd
ever heard somebody's "Songs Without
Words." Philadelphia Tress.
"Did they have fresh vegetables ev
ery day where you boarded this sum
mer?" "No," said the sad-looking cltl
een, "the farmer we visited bought
everything at the cross-roads grocery
store. There's only one thing worse
than a green goods man and that's a
canned good man. -Washington Star.
Only Member of Race Who Ever Boa
to Such Distinction.
An Indian whose name Is familiar la,
portions of Missouri, Arkansas, Kansas
and the Indian Territory and who en
joyed the distinction of having built a
railway line which has grown to be one
of the most important iu the middle
west Is" Mathias Splltlog whose death
occurred a short time since.
Splitlog was born In Canada in 1810,
and was of French and Indian descent
He was brought up in the woods of tha
far north and was unable to read or
write, but lie could count money like a
banker and was shrewd at driving a
bargain. Like most Indians, he was
reticent, cautious and suspicious.
Although without schooling or me-chank-nrValulng,
Splitlog was a nat
ural mechanical genius, and to thatj
he was indebted for his start in life. Ho
had built a ferryboat at Windsor, Can
ada, in the early '40's, and ran a ferry
between Windsor and Detroit He had
also built a saw mill there and dis
played other Indications that caused
the United States government to notice
him, and he was selected as a suitable
man to go to the Wyandotte Indian res
ervation in Kansas to build houses for
the Wyaudottes.
After completing his work among the
Wyaudottes, Splitlog moved to the Sen
eca Indian Nation, close by, and built a
grist-mill and saw mill there. His coun
sel and energies were so highly appreci
ated by the Seuecas that they adopted
him as one of their tribe and he married
a Seneca woman. A few years later
he became chief of the Senecas.
When, in 188(5, Splitlog conceived the
idea of building a railroad, he was a
wealthy man. He bought an alleged
rich gold mine and it was with the idea
of bringing his gold fields In touch with
the large cities that he started his line.
In 1887 thirty-five miles of railroad had
been put into operation, or under way,
and Splltlog had put $205,000 into his
scheme. But his troubles began to
grow, and finally he was compelled to
sell out. His gold mine proved a fail
ure and the old chief lost considerable,
of his wealth. In 1800 the road passed
out of his control. It was pushed
through to the gulf and almost to the
great lakes by the new owners and
proved a paying venture.
Splltlog had many peculiarities but
was always thoughtful, considerate and
charitable and may be classed as one of
the most remarkable of Indians. Upon
his death he left over $100,000.
A PROFOUND SCHOLAR.
IProf. Mueller Wai One of the World's
Urentest PhililoKiat.
Frledrlch Max Mueller, who died In
London recently, takes rank as one of
the most distinguished philologists of
the century. His
whole lifetime,
comparatively, was
given up to re
searches into the
origin of languages.
To him more than
to any other schol
ar, possibly with
one exception, Sir
William Jones, the
PHOF. MULI.EH.
western world is Indebted for the open
ing up of the vast Held of Sanskrit lit
erature, upon a knowledge of which de
pends a fundamental conception of Ori
ental modes of thought. Prof. Mueller
was the son of a German poet, Wilhelm
Mueller, and was 70 years of age. Ilia
bent to the study of languages of the
east was curly shown. He had been
connected with Oxford University
since 1848, at the time of his death be
ing corpus professor of comparative
philology.
While Prof. Max Mueller made En
gland his home and employed himself
chiefly in making known In the En
glish language the treasures of Sans
krit literature, his services were well
appreciated In Germany, as Indeed they
were In all countries, for he was known
by his writings In the literary maga
tlnes In America, France, Germany and
Italy. Many marks of personal friend
ship were shown him by the Emperor
William, who on several occasions made
him the medium to convey telegrams
of congratulation to the athletes of Ox
ford and academic institutions in whom
the Kaier Interested himself.
A little switch engine at ached to a
big train always puffs and snorts, and
halts in a manner Hint reminds us of
a little man who tackles a big subject.
A rurnl editor refers to his mother-in-law
as the "queen of terrors."
Si