"A T f .fncoln County Leader. J. F. HTIW K KT, Publisher. TtiLKDO OKKiJN Wealth tli True Uaala for Titles. It seem to me tlint it would be much better, anc f;.r more in keeping with tiie spirit of the time, to make ail titles a question of pound, shilling and pence. We linve ((one a good way in that direction. If a ninn can make ho inuuy thousand poumlH out of licer, or railway contracting, or selling newspapers, he may have any title he pleases, provided he goes the right way to work. licit wedon't do the thing systematically. It Isn't on a liUHinemdike footing. Very often tiie man who gem a title has pre viously received vast sum of public money (or doing little or nothing, and even when be procures the title by hid own money the payment dues not go into the public treas ury an It ought to. ' lie pay it to the party fundH, or something of that kind. The system that prevail in Home of the minor European states Is vastly more sen ible. We ought to have a fixed tariff so many hundred thoiiHand pound for a dukedom, no many for a muro,uisnte, no many thou sand for an earldom uud noon. The money paid for the title would go Into the con solidated fund, and every nobleman would have pro rata a solid til le to public re spect. When we abolish the hmixe of lords I expect that we Hhall have to adopt some plan of thin kind, fur though we may be able to do without the house I doubt whether Kngllshmen will ever be able to do without the lord. Henry I.ubouchcrc iu Ixiudon Truth. KhuMfsprare and Mullere. A correspondent finds these notable pninfii of rcsrmhluuce In the career of 3hnkcsp-are and Moliere: The father of each w an in trade, and ap- pal etui ucsullcd bin noli lo iotiow It In uccu- pittion. The early education of both was neglected, and we know untiling ill their after training that conferred on tliem their perfect knowledge of good breeding and distinguished manner. Neither of thetu was Happily married. I'.ach became man- agcr, author, nctor. Kaeh produced acon ldrable number of authenticated dra matic worK. r.acu was cureless nbou publiHliiiig hi work, or rattier objectei to do no, lent they should lie aeteil by riva .1 ..i.... til ... i A malic work. Kach wa careless about ;d rival drainatin companie. I'lay of each were collected by actor anil Hint published In a complelu form after the death of the au thor. Kach touched up or produced play that ste limt or of doulitful origin. Kach disre garded novelty of plot, burrowing from allium niMiii-ci. r.arii oisiihcii in pro J..l.... 'I'l I ..I i i ii in-, n,,inii ciiiiiihiit oi eacn '"ViTTV . ' K"l'l. generous. Knell had a 'I if "rr . ' "mi'i, K.-in'roiin, i.acii nun a nnifo.'fl' xnoit ledge of liuniiiii mituro. Kach preWfrcilthn Idea or mutter to the comparative dUregard of thu maimer. Kach had a remarkable fecundity and fer tility of production. Knch died at the age of llfty-lwu. New York Commercial Ad vert isrr. Marketing In rloiillicrii l-'rimre. Until you go to an o ii nir market in the mini h of France you do not know what genuine pleasure can be obtained from the UHtial promt! proceeding. Just imagine great, beautiful chci-rlc at eight cents a pound, straw berries about live rent a pound, grupen, plum, near. pcachca, all in the perfection of beauty aim iiiKfioiiK navor, Kohl on the Hume small scale iircoidlng to our American idea. Green almond nnil llllicits, olives, mush room, frenh llsl. right from the waters thatulnioKt hippeil the edges of tin' prim itive market (lor there were but few booth, ttliixixt everything being displayed on cloth laid nut on the ground that sloped down to the smiling sen), radishes and lettuce Juxt plrkid in the quaint old time garden on the adjacent slopes, and above all anil (I. initial lug even the bankets of snail with a breath of Hiiutuivr, were the great panniers filled with blossom whoso beauty nnil fragianie would bring tro niendou price in this laud of ours, where rone sometime are worth their" weight In gold. Kor a franc one can fill a carriage with mignonette, violets, carnations as spicy a they are vivid; Jajrmlne, mimosa, liclloliope nod great cicuii and pink rose that hang tlnilr head wijl, the burden of their own 1 grnuce.-Cor. l'liiladelphla Time. , ,, Orchid. it Iced the romantio e count rles ho is in Mexico, where Is uud. -tood by ti tocoiiijHKHe unrly ot an Infant lm.. e Is celebrated, no s'i'.l at which thu aid vi'iiT I nut calli-d in by the sentimental natives tuassist thccxprcsKioii of their feeling. They are offered by the devotee at tie shrine of his favorite saint, by the lovcrW the feet of his mistress and by t lie soi inn ing survivor at the grave of hi friend; w hether, iu short, oil fust days or feast day, en occasions of rejoicing or Iu moments of distress, these flowers are sought for with an avidity which would seem to say that I hem was nu sympathy like theirs; thusTlordo hwSanliw,' -I'lor lie Corpus, ' i'lor de los muerto,' 'Klor de Mulo.' 'No lite olvidcs' (or foigctiueiiot) are but a few name out of the many that might lw riled to prove the high consid eration 111 w hich our favorites are held iu the New World." ,lse I THE MAN FROM CALIFORNIA. HI Kama Not Mentioned, bat th Golden Wet U Proad of Him. "The man who has never gone banting and fishing in California in June, with the necessary accompaniment and plenty of time on bis Hands," said the man from Corbett's native state, "has made a failure of life. He isn't really In it." "Did you get that sun kised nose, that peeling neck and those tan colored bands on a bunting and fishing excursion In Cali fornia?" asked the man who bad his feet tn the table. "There were six In onr party," said the Jther, Ignoring the interruption. "We en tered the mountains just back of Alta iYna. We had burros, gun, provender and fishing tackle ail libitum. Our first camp was pitched alxait 7,000 feet above the sea, near a spring, surrounded by ferns fifteen feet high and 1 can knock any man down that disputes that assertion to the extent of a single inch. The resinous odors of balsam and firs" "See guidebook," murmured the man in the slouch hat. "filled the air, and the sound of falling water lulled us to sleep. The next morn ing was fogies, anil from our perch we could see plainly Altailena, Pasadena and limitless stretches of valley and plain, with dark green squares of lemon and orange orchards. The ocean was plainly visible and not a Hjieck was to be aeen on It surface. The only thing that loomed np between lisaiid Japan was distance"- "And the protective tarilT?" suggested the man with the russet shoes. "The next man that interrupts me. ".said the Kpeuker, flicking the ashes from the end of hi half smoked cigar, "will wish hi hadn't. I have a worse cigar than this in my pocket. I shall simply light it." A deep dark silence fell upon the group. "Seven thousand feet above the mvages of the advertising llend! " be continued "Kyilia l'inkliaiii never had been there. Ou the rock and cliffs there was nothing to remind you of your liver or kidneys. No liipiid glue muii with a paint pot and I 1. 1 1 1 , . I T. Lr.i a I'.i-i i.Li..i,.,i ,nu I.M4I.U, uunuiu the swale of moist gypsum below th spring there wa a bear truck a big as saucer, but wo stuck to our camp biscuit ml canned corn and let the bear alone. "The next night found u in the main San Gubricl canyon arranging rod and line to whip the deep anil shallows of the finest trout stream in all California, and at 10 o'clock the next day we counted the catch. Five of us had fished, leaving i ne to watch camp. We had bagged U47 trout that measured all the way from five to fourteen Inches in length. We kept this up for five day, and all tho chowder mid thing we didn't eat the burro did, along with their everyday diet of thistle, cactus, rubber blanket uud dishcloths. We had one big, overgrown burro wo christened Chicago. I his ravenous aul mill won hi swul low ev . thing In sight and then gnaw at the tent Din. "On the ninth day we climbed -gain up, up, Into the region of pure ijr and tin balsam of health, and on th evenlugof the tenth day out our cump was pitched KI.HOO feet above bilge wafer. We could look out over the Mojave desert, the bound less domain of the broiir lizard and horned toad away on out over the trackless void toward Suit Kake, Braver, home. From this eyrie our shcsitrrs wvnt forth to shoot, down thu mouiitalii sides, into the echoing canyon with no bottoms, along the crests and crags, Iu and out of cave and" "What (lid yon Hhcsitr" "It make nu dilVcrcnce what we shot. The California game laws are against kill lug deer ut this season. So we didn't kill any devr. At least we didn't call them deer. Wt called them caribou. Tliero were two of them. They weighed eighty pounds each. The killing was done In self defense. We skinned these caribou am hung tin-in on the limb of the spruce, out in the reach of mountain lions. "The next day thu two shooter who Went out came into camp about 4 p. m mi iiskcii an nanus to come along ouu k they had 'something to carry.' What that something proved to be is in evidence at RM Grand avenue, I.os Angelea, where a miig nillcent rug soften the footsteps ou the tufted floor and the bear wvighed over 7UU pounds. "I didn't shout any caribou or bearmv self, but 1 want you to understand that I was one of the party that diiL And while loitering about I lie camp waiting for the other to do the big game act 1 found two bee Irces that contained about fourteen bushel, a nearly as we could estimate it, of honey. "We were fifteen days Iu the mountain. and our table d'hote bill of fare was nrin clpully trout, carilsiu, b'ar meat and wild honey, which is a belter layout by at least three points than John thu llaptist could boast in hi most halcyon and vociferous day. Gentlemen, will you join me iu a glass of wild cherry phosphate or mime- tiling at I lie place acrosx the way?" He knew the crowd. It wn hi easiest way to avoid a return lire. They joined ulm. t lucago tribune. HOW SUNDAY WAS REGARDED IN SLAVERY DAYS BY NEGROES. Not llmirrtift's Version. It wa on Sept. V that John Smith, of Virginia, narrowly escaped deatU through the presence of mind of Poca hontas. Smith had long whisker and a blond pompadour, which were uoveltle in Virginia at that time, atid Pocahontas was impressed. She decided oil a roup. Hurriedly approaching the spot where Binith wa sIhiui to v pulvrritetl with a club she uttered nu exclamation of sur prise. "Why, Smithy," she cried, "where have you Ih-cii all this time?" Turning to her father, who stood near, she smiled pleas antly. "Pa, Mr. Smith Mr. Smith, tvapa," she vivaciously remarked. "I met Air. Smith at the seaside, papa. And bow la your dear mother, Mr. Smith?" The ruse wa urceantul. Iu time Smith married Pocahouta, which was better than being killed. -Detroit Tribune. llrUltfeworli and fluid Crowns. What is lulled "brldgrwork" consists lu Inserting a false tooth In a gap between two natural ones lu the Jaw, fastening It in place by gold baud amuud theadtoin lug teeth. Gold crow its are frequently put ou old rtsit uonadays, this device lm iujj the advantage that the crown ran la read tly removed at any time for the purpose of keeping (he root beneath it Ul good Coudi liou. Waahiugtou Star. ' . II Takes (lie Place of lHuiitond Ilust. The name of rurUirundum ha been given to a peculiar manufactured sub stance intended, on account of the peculiar properties w hich characterize it when thus Used, to take the place of diamond dust and Isirt iu the abrasion of hard substances. Singular to say, the product I In charac ter wholly unlike the sulmtaiires from w hicli it is derived that is, iu composition It I almost pure earlHiu, In construction crystalline nod iu hurdiirs it is teu, ou .Mohr scale. In view of these uualilies. it Is to all Intents and puriHwe luanufnetuml dia mond iKiwder, though iu color it I slightly darker. I'udir the microacouu nianv of the crystals anis-arof a dark, greeii. some are yellow, while others still are blue, and some completely colorless. The cost of this material Is said to be very moderate. New York Sun. All Odd t:pcrtrnre. Queer things haiitu u w lieu New Yorkers Visit Brooklyn. Two voung women crossed the bridge last week to visit a friend ou I Columbia bright. They walked back to the bridge entrance, and, perfectly sura they knew what they were doing Uvught theii tickets and Milled tbcnim-lve iu a I train on the King County Klcvmed road. They talked away Incessant ly, unmindful of St0,uutil It suddenly (KVtirivd to them that tl.ey "must Is? nearly across." They looked out on the green field of Kust New York, and digust was written deen ou tboir face as they made their way back to th city. New York Tunes. Wet rlolhlug ami I Ightuln;. If the clothing is wet the lightning may pass over n a gissl conductor without Larmiug the body. On the other hand, person may. be killed without harm being done to the clothing. In rare ituuaurva bodies have oven iripHsl naked by light ning. The coverings of the feet are liable to be rrioUBlytiijureil, because it is here that th llghiuluj meets ib greatest r listaac iu leaving th body. Xxcuau;. I WAS A GREAT DAY. rbe plantation Folks Eagerly Looked For ward to the Day of I test They AU Went to Meeting and t'sually Spent the Best of the Tin e Quietly. In the south before the war Sunday was looked forward to with anticipations of naffected happiness by the negroes on the plantations. With it came not alone the testful idleness of the day, but the addi tional pleasure afforded by opportunities to attend divine worship, writes Edward Oldham. The negro, as a race, Is a social being. The absence of extraordinary brain power denies him the privilege ' ( thoughtful meditation or the solace of reflection. His Intuitive impulse is to loosen the cords that bind him to himself and to seek congenial companionship. 1 hi innate characteristic of sociability was intensified in the plantation darky, whose master's family was usually the oenter around which a highly social mi crocosm revolved. Sunday was the day alsive all the rest when he could give full play to this tendency, and be was never happier than when in the midst of a group hearing himself and others talk, "uwine ter ctiu'ch" therefore always meant for him more of a season of social than reli gious enjoyment, though occasionally there were venerable exceptions to this rule. The darkies from all the neighboring plan tations were to Ins seen at "meetin," and all the grotesque happenings of the week and bit of highly colored gossip were to be exchanged amid hearty guffaws, in which the most innocent good nature abounded. The ante-bellum negro was always pic turesipie in bis attitudes, adjuncts and surroundings, and particularly so "ober SundavH." The manner of hi locomotion to and from the "meetin house" made a striking picture, with a touch of irresist ible drollery about it. More than likely he proceeds afoot, and if the day be pleasant he carefully removes his "Sunday shoes" and the thick cottou socks, draws off his coat, throws it over his left arm and dangles the shoe from bis right band. With his impedimenta thus adjusted he advance upon his way with a quick sway ing, shuffling gait, a light heart, a plan tation hymn ut the tup of his tongue, or a cheery, rollicking whistle upon his lips. It the roads be muddy, the distance un usually great, or the darky himself the object of the master's or overseer's especial favor he i iiidub.fd with the use of a borne, nstridu whose backbone he strings himself, his wife and a youngster or two. They jog along slowly, putting up with the ludicrous discomfort of the arrange ment with every evidence of good humor. If the attendant upon divine worship be far advanced in years, his master, with thut respect for the aged so characteristic, of the southern gentlemen of the old school, places at his and "do ole 'onian's" disposal a humble vehicle which has out lusted the greater part of it usefulness. To this he harnesses a plantation mule, whose solemn demeanor and highly delib erate movements are in keeping with the measured, eay going characteristic of the darky twain. They set out, the wabbling wheels describing an eudless series of curve, convex and concave; The vener able occupant aru seated in split bottom chairs and are attired in their "bes' bin en tucker," with their flaming apparel "settin two ways fer Sunday" to employ the vernacular by which they mean to suggest thu all pervading presence of starch, which plantation darkies were ac customed to use unstintedly. Thus, with au entire absence of self consciousness, the aged couple arrived nt the church in due time. If it be a shrine intended exclusively for dusky worshipers, the building will be a lurge rectangular structure composed of logs, the apertures between being chinked with mud and clay, and t lie roof consist ing of rows of rough oak chipboards, held iu place by long sapling lying lengthwise with the building, and these iu turn being secured by prong of hickory. The most conspicuous adjunct of this humble houso of worship Is the chimney, which leans away from the structure with a hurt, of fended air. It liMik us though it were about to topple down, and it heterogene ous materials constitute mi impenetrable mystery, held by a framework of sticks and clay. lu the milder seasons of the year the negro worshiper assembled beneath a spacious urljor formed by a framework of sapling resting iu the fork of small growing trees, or of others cut down and stuck into the ground. I'pou this crud scaffolding were deposited quantities of pine boughs, which protected the congre gation from the sun and the showers, and dispersed au aromatic odor that was by no means disagreeable. An object of the most envious concern to the other darkies ou the plantation was the family coachman, or carriage driver, or thut of their number who was singled out to go with "young mist is" or any other member of the household tochiirch. Aside from this being considered a recognition of sti-rior merit and a murk of special con fidence, it carried with it many privileges which were greatly enjoyed. It meant more comfortable transit to and from church, more presrutable apparel, and best of all "good eat ill's." Tho sermon over, a general handshaking by the disa'rsing congregation was in or der, and sometimes, when a sermon was to follow- In the afternoon and the day was a pleasant one, the attendants divided them selves into a little group here and there. The baskets were oieueil, and the lunches, prepared by the old time southern cooks, were heartily enjoyed. A general inter change of small talk mid the news of the neighhorhotsl made the time pass swiftly; then came the second sermon, after which "young mist is" is escorted back to the car riage by some gallant beau, who, seeing her and perhaps the "old folks" comfort ably seated within, how himself away iu a Chesterlleldian manner. The sable aris tocrat with the rigid demeanor slams the door to with a bang, and with becoming dignity ascends to his perch. Then with calm dchls-ratiou he draws up the lap rob and carefully tucks it around hitii. A mo ment later the rein are lu bis hands, and then with a crack of the whip the coach roll away and is soou lost to sight in cloud ot dust. WOMEN AS AGRICULTURISTS. Tare Connecticut Women who Ear Mad Money Out or Farming. So many stalwart young men leave rural Kew England for the cities and the west that women in those sections often develop astonishing capacities. As a rule mankind only do what they are obliged to In the line of work, and it will generally be found that the successful women farmers who occasio'ally astonish the country began the business as a necessity, though they toon learned to like it. Connecticut has an unusually large pumberof these women, a few of whom may be cited here as good specimens. Mrs. Hester Peck, of Grassy Hill, was not really a farmer by necessity, for when her hus band died twenty years ago he left two farms and no children; but she liked the business, and being rather delicate in frame lielieved it better to stick to the farm. She has prospered to a wonderful degree, is now in robust health and has two of the finest farms in the Connecticut valley. She decided early that bay was in the long run the most profitable crop in New England, and her farms were soon known as the best grass land in that section. From this she naturally drifted into stock rais ing, and now has a herd that Is noted in her neighborhood. She has also devoted much attention to strawberries and rasp berries, and during the fruit season drives fourteen miles twice every week to dispose of her picking. She is a very valuable mem ber of the church and community, highly respected for her Christian character and liberality, while in the details of .farming ber advice is taken as the best by young farmers. A more remarkable case is that of Mrs. Harriet Crosby, of Chestnut Plain, who is but twenty-five years old and has been a successful farmer foreight years. She waa the oldest of three children, all girls, and was away at school when her father died. Learning that the farm was mortgaged, she resolutely set to work to remove the eutumuniuu'. duo huicu iu luo iieius and directed the help till she got able to hire all the work done, sue has paid the mortgage, drained the swamp land, built a new residence and barns, and renovated the entire farm, keeping her two sisters at school all the time, and now has 235 acres under cultivation. HOW IT FEELS TO DIE EXPERIENCE OF A LIEVES HE WAS ' MAN WHO BE 'STONE DEAD." V If On Could ISearli the Kalnbow. Many Improbable aud impossible things would happen if you could only get in reach of "the raiuliow." The little Turk Is told I hat it he would have a srlver head, with gold teeth and ruby ryes, he has but to touch the orange stripe, lu 11 recce they say that th peraou so unfortunate as to atumble over the end of the bow will hav hi or her sex Immediately changed. M. Lout KepubUo. - V 7 7 - " HARRIET CROSDV. With all this she has kept up Interest in the refinements of life, has pursued her studies during the winter evenings, and now with more leisure is taking up the ac complishments at the point she left them when she bad to leave school. Her only specialty Is in sheep raising, and she has made it very profitable. She is a very de cided young lady, believes in woman's rights, laughs at offers of marriage and is devoted to her mother and sisters. Miss Mary Hungerford, a lady of about forty years, in the same neighborhood, has been a managing farmer since her father's death, fifteen years ago. She is highly ac complished in literature, music and paint ing, but gave up society to preserve the home farm and has succeeded so well that Bhe is quite wealthy. A man instinctively feel (whether because of custom or not) that woman was not designed for hard, rough work, but if it must be done it is well to know that success is possible. His Whole IJfe Did Not Flash Before Him M He Sank Into Ciiconcloune There Was No Mental Pain Whatever The Far of Death I Physical Dread. AH my life long I have been singularly destitute, I believe, of that physical shrink ing from death which so many human beings feel so acutely. I do not mean to say I am in any hurry to die; as long as things go tolerably well with me in the world I have no insupportable objection to living, but whenever I stand face to face with death, a happened to me several times in the course of my career, I regard the rjrosnect of annihilation with perfect equanimity. J can honestly declare that on all such occasions my own doubts and fears have been for the safety and pecuni ary position of the survivors, especially those more immediately dependent upon me. For myself I have never felt one mo ment's disquiet. And I attribute this en tire absence of fear of death to the unusual fact that I have already tried dying and found it by no means a painful or terrify ing experience, I mean what I say quite literally. I have not the slightest hesita tion in asserting that once in my life I really and truly died died as dead as it is possible for a human being to die, and that afterward I was resurrected. I have felt and know the whole feeling of death not part of it only, but the actual end of dying. I did not stop half way. I died and was done with, and when I came back to life again it was no mere case of awakening from what it foolishly called "suspended animation," but a genuine revival, a res toration of vitality to a man as dead as he ever can be or will be, It happened in this wise, and though it was a good many years since I have still & UlUal ViViu ltcv.it. 'Jkiuli of etciy lliOlllCiil of it: I had been skating on a lake in a very cold country. I am intentionally vague because I do not desire to disclose my personality. The surface was smooth as glass and perfectly free from snow or ridges. But not far from where I was skating some men bad been cutting out great blocks of ice the day before for sum mer use. During the night this open spot of blue water had frozen over slightly perhaps an inch thick. I skated incautiously from the solid ice on to this thinner piece, and moving with considerable impetus went through it at once and was carried on un der the thicker and firmer ice bevond it. The first thing I knew was that I found myself plunged suddenly into ice cold wa ter, and struggling for my life in skates and winter clothes against chill and drown ing. I went down like lead. When I came up again it was with my head aguinst the solid ice. If I had bad full possession of my faculties I would have looked about for the hole by which I broke through and endeavored to swim under water for it. Uut 1 was numbed with the cold and stun ned with the suddenness of the unexpected ducking; so, instead of looking fur the place by which I had got in, I tried inef fectually to break the ice over my bead oy untuning and hutting against it. In so doing, I do not doubt, I must have made matters worse by partially stunning myseii. .at, any rate X couia not break it. and was soon completely numbed by the col'. I gasped aud swallowed a great deal ot water. . 1 felt my lungs filling. A moment ot suspense, during which I knew perfectly well 1 was drowning, intervened, and t hen I died. I was drowned and dead. I knew it then, and I have never since for a moment doubted it, Just before I died, however, I noticed aeuuetately noticed, for I am tishvcholoo- leal bynuture that my whole past life did not come np, as I had been given to under stand it would, in a single flash before me. On the contrary, I felt ouly a sense of cold and damp and breatblessness.n fierce, wild stru?ole, a horrible choking sensation, and men in was over. I wis taken out stone dead. Unless ex tremuremedies bad been applied I would have lemuinea stone dead till the present momtit. It nothing more bad been done my Iwly would have undergone no further chante till decomposition set, in. Heart and lings bad ceased to act. I was truly dead) there was nothing more that could happen to me to make me nnv deader However, a friend who was skating with me Wised the alarm, and I was shortly aiieipuueu out agnin, still Head, with boatiook. They tried artificial respira tion, brandy, heat all the recognized meass oi reviving a corpse afterdrowning, Alter awhile they brought nie back. I be gan to breathe again. If there had been no artificial respiration I wculd never hnve revived again, and my bodj would have undergone dissolution in Que course, without any return of cou scioosness whatever. So fur as conscious nesi goes, therefore, I was then and there aea, aud 1 never expect to be anv ilea,l..r Ani the knowledge that I have thus once exp-rienced In my own person exactly what difith is, and tried it fully, has had a great diil to do, I think, with my utter physical indifference to it, I know how it feels, aud iugh it is momentarily uncomfortable if ksn't half as bad as breaking your arm orna.iing a loom urawn. In fact the actual dying itself, as driin? is quite painless as painless as falling aaeeu. ii is only the previous struggle tue sense of its approach that Is at all un comfortable. Even this is much less un phasant than I should have exjiected be forehand, aud I uoted at the time that there was a total absence of any craven shrinking the sensation was a mere phys ical one of gaspiug and choking. When eerlhave stood within measurable dis tance of death ever since my feeling lias bten the same I have been there already, and see no cause to dread it. Of course ne might strongly object to a painful end, on account of its puinfulness, aud one ight shrink, and ought to shrink, from kaving one's family, especially if young or bsufficieutly -provided for, but death it stlf, as death, it seems to me, ueed have absolutely c terrors for a sensible pr-on.-Pall Mall liudget. Outwitted Their Friend. A "terriblv nrettr" Ilminn Harvard culled her, found when she, with :he happy groom, was about to depart on Jie uoueymoon that some wag had decked the carriage with weddimr favor. ..i o was literally a mass of white ribbons and hydrangea blooms. It was a trying mo ment! The rice fell thick and fast merry aho'its of laughter greeted the H.. rope. It was ridden 6.X) mile, bya young Vset off l.kT..Y compelled negro before reaching Sierra Leone. VrherS "'lH , . Ik f. ,,hwr " th nimble pair jtimt-M into a second re. tiage at the next trot corner, and so out- -uieu me yew man" and bis frolicsome I - - l wuji,-uostOD tieraid. A REAL AMERICAN. J. V. STAND18H. Lombnrd Vlilveriitty'a New Prestdenf la a Descendant of Mile StundlBh. People who have studied the subject as sert that the ii.OOOPuritansor thereabouts who made the first settlements in New England now have about l'J,000,OUO descend ants. This looks like a big esti mate, and yet it is a demonstrated fact that in spite of the enormous i m in I g r ation a clear majority of the people of the United States are descended In known lines from those who were In the couutry when the Revolution began. All this will serve rui an Introduction to the latest descendant if Miles Staudish to attract attention. This la Mr. J. V. Standlsh, the new presi dent of Lombard university, at Galesburg, Ills. He was born iu Woodstock, Vt., Feb. 2S, 1S; was graduated from Norwich uni versity In 1S4T, and In 1S54 was made pro fessor in mathematics and astronomy in Lombard university, a position he held till June, ISUl. He then traveled a year and returned to become president of the college. In 1K"7 he was elected president of the Illinois State Teachers' association, and has served as editor of The State Journal of Education. It is Interesting to learn that the de scendants of Miles Standish have gen erally maintained a high standard in edu cation. Professor Standish began teach ing at the age of sixteen, and has made it his life business. The descendants of Pas tor John Kobinson and his famous brother are said to be numbered by thousands, and it is claimed that they and other Puritan lives have sustained the high character of the race to woudrrful degree. A Mammoth Ostrich. There is at present in the London Zoolog ical gardens an African importation which bid fair to take the place of the late la mented Jumbo in the hearts of juvenile Urltain. It i the great African ostrich which King Alimany Sauiadon presented to viueen irtoria. It is probably the larg est specimen of the kind ever seen in Eu- It was placed on board shin for Lirerrjool During the long walk the mammoth bird attacked and Injured several native, kill ten two of them. MR. AND MRS. BOWSER. a TrUs to Show His Wife How to Clean House What the Result Was. Last fall Mr. Bowser undertook to do our bouse cleaning in fifteen minutes, but got discouraged and went on or a fortnight a. while 1 finished up. As 1 wanted to overhaul things a little this month, and as 1 wanted him out of the way, I said to nim the other jvening: Being vou have been borne all summer, I should think you would want to take a little g-ip this fall." H ml he replied as be looked up from his paper. ou don t look a bit well, Mr. Dowser. Tour face is haggard, aud 1 believe you have lost twenty pounds of Hesb this summer." This tune he didn t say anything as he looked at me. If you wanted to go down to New Hamp shire and see your relatives," I continued, "I could get you all ready in one day." "Oh. you could I' he replied, "ilrs. Bow ser, 1 see through your little game, and it won't work. ou wuut to get me away so you can rip and tear and scrub and cleanand wipe and dust and damage ana aestroy iour- fifths of the contents of this house"' "1 want to clean just a little." "Well, go ahead." "But you you" ' "Oh, yes, it's always mel One would think you were afraid to breathe unless I gave my consent in writing. Have 1 said a word aguinst housecleaningt Don't I know that housccleaning must be done? I was wonder ing the other day when you were going to begin." "But last year you raised such a fuss." "Can't remember that I said one single word. If I did it was only in fun." 'jAnd I may clean P Tiot only that, but I'll help." "But you needn't. You just be patient and put up with the muss for a few days and I'll get" As I said, I will help, Mi's. Bowser, It will be a sort of vacation for me. Don't you worry about my finding any fault." It was with fenr anil tremhlin" thut I me him put on an old suit of clothes next morn ing and heard In in say: I'll begin on the parlor first It's now 9 o'clock. We ought to be through with the whole house in two hours." I I'm afraid we are not so smart as that We m ist go slow and give the house a thor ough going over." "Oh, we 11 have everything shining like a new pin before we let up. You boss and I'll do the work. You know, of course, that there is everything in the planning. Some folks make a whole week's job of houseclean- Ing simply because they don't know how to plan. Mother and I used to clean bouse in half au hour, and you know howj)fe9ur she is." J After breakfast the cook came in and said 6he was ready, and she likelf'T announced that the two colored women were in waiting. "Vtaitiug tor what!" asked air. Bowser. "To help us clean," I replied. , "Send them right home I Five oi us to clean housel Who ever heurd of the likel Do you want the neigbborji thiuk we have been shoveling dirt mto "to llhouse all sum mer? I'll start those colored- women for home, and I don't want any help from the cook. Let her attend tcAoffairs in the kitchen." I?S He went out aud "started" tit Vwoniea I had had engnged for six yjf then returned with the njiiiouiin-jtw)HJeW.".t.. ready to start iu ou the spaiJ "Ji, hav uig already taken down the culs and rej moved the bedding. . "All right I'll have it doue in fiie min utes!" he replied, as he spit on lrf hands. "You clear out and give me rooirt to work, I thiuk I can give you and nil otiiei fivomen a pointer on house cleaning." I went down stairs, and it wtLn't over seven minutes before he called to n-fk, "AH right, Mrs. Bowser your ?TOm is cleaned! Come up and show me whit to do next." "What have you doner 1 asked j him seated on the window sill placent smile on bis face. "Cleaned the room. Every been taken dow n and dusted,, th. wiped off, aud I hnve swept the carpi turee or tour women would have en two days accomplishing tho samo Uul have completed iu less than ten minutes. I toll you, Mrs. Bowser, it is nil iu the piunuiuj "' "But that bedstead must come, ? n, Mr. Bowser." . 1 "What forr 7 "Because the carpet must come up. tvery thiug must lie moved out of the room and the floor cleaned." "Well, I should like to know what for? What's the matter with this room just as it isf "Dust, Mr. Bow ser. It blows and we can't help it Moths get in now and then. If we don't do our work thoroughly we might as well let it go entirely. Take the bedstead down first." "I'll take it down, but I protest It's all bosh hunting out every spek ,of dust No one else does it. (jot out of the way 1" He made a grab for the springs and lifted them out, but in getting them clear of the rail be fell over backwards and the springs fell upon him. He made use of several vig orous exclamations, kicked out in an effort to demolish them, aud as I assisted him to get up he roared: "I told you that these things ought to be left alone! The fool who invented them never intended they should be moved!" I calmed him down after a bit and then asked him to take down the bedstead. He grabbed the footboard and gave a pulL Theu he grabbed the headboard and gave a wrench. "Mr. Bowser, don't you know how to take a bedstead apart f" I asked. "Don't If Well, if I don't no one else does! I was tikiug bedsteads apart ten years before you were born I You always have to loosen the joints a bit Now then" "But you don't bear down on the roil. You must lift up at the ends." "I think I know my business, Mrs. Bowser," he replied as he worked away. "But you don't. You are locking the rails Instead of loosening them. Bee here." I pulled at the end of a rail and unlocked It Mr. Bowser backed off, crossed his bands on the small of bis back and said: "Mrs. Bowser, that settles it I clearly see your object. We wi.l have no more house cleaning this falL I see what it would lead to. When a wife gets the idea that she knows more than her husband it is time to holrt the dangjr sigual. Just drop things right here. That is, unless you have planned to bring about this very thing to force a legal separation.1 Ho dressed and went off down town. De troit Free Press. J m I found ft ' com- t.tu'V . itead t. our A Little Off. 'yay! haven't you any souse P he demand ed of bis friend as they crossed the street and left tiie third man to go on alone. "What's upr "Why, you kept asking him if he'd been away this summer, and if be d had a good time, and if he went fishinj, and all t jat." " wnsVt that common courtesy I" "Ii'ot under the circumstances. Not when he'd been in the workhouse ail summer P Detroit Free Pre.