m-Vrymrf7'-'ri1rqfr'in. THE COOS BAY TIMES. MARSIIFIELD. OREGON. FRIDAY. MARCH 3. 1916 EVENING EDITION. The Central Avenue Booster lie" CENTRAL AVENUE, FRIDAY, MARCH il, 11)1(1. No. 77 VOL. '' ........ unit TODAY . .... .tailow throw Ills Hon, Throws" "...-i.o.l nuttJn.. gjllMA-WllH-K "X,T IT THIS TRUTH? by tho lmpeM," ro"mrkod .Mold, 'tlmt a Brt.aS.wavc of prosperity ,, oycn ... iiitr ruiuu ' - founuj. pt our lakM a woman chuuffour to AX EXPERT'S OPINION Hubs Towor Bays: "Tho thing that inakeB leap year a dead lottor, how ovcr, Is that tho rItIb who have the ncrvo to tlo tho proposing never wait until leap year." , sm iiii:-A-AVi 1 1 Li-: CIRCUMSTANCES AND HOLLARS "ClrcitiiiBtaiU'eiJ alter cascH, yon .know," remarked 'Ueno Croslhwalt to Won Filshor. "Yea," replied Hen, "and a few pooil cases would niter my clrcum Htriiiccs." sm i le-a-wh i li; Opportunity bcoiiib to chum with pnino Cook Uuy folks. SMILE-A-WHILE I gee IrlhUf J'c cotantrr. uul "' . ir rc " JOIIWJ-A-WHII'H ,n: snoi'M) worry cheerful TwMHto Bponco He neter chews IiIb iiIIIb; a n lot of coinpllnienlH smiw-a-wrile fioiiK'tlincn n Coob Imy bachelor n...it1i n Mum iHinilfi ft intnn it liniini' litr twtl .... .ttiInfrn IIIIIIIIKII U ill ID jiiiiuu 4V "wiuuu ""I'lV "J i"k V mvy J Imnrrylng her. croud. aa MIOHE PHASKS OP HEAL'TII It's u Hjunrt baby that Uiiowb how to inako crying pay dlvldondfl. smile-a-wiiile Mnny,n bluffer baa u wife that ho 4u unablo to bluff. SMILE-A-WHILE THE CENTRAL AVENUE ROOSTER PublMicd Kverjr Friday hi the Inter ests of Coos ny In General nnd Central Avvnuo In particular. 'go more than bo far In considering 'tho Individual Interest In such mat ters. But, iln the restdenco districts, beauty of appearanco Is at leant an equal factor with tho attainment of low percontngo of grade. It la as Im- wRl0tr?i,ial th0. Poat?,fflco P strictly i poitant that tho nntural contour of l' irst-Unss matter: tliero Is nothlnc . . . , . . .... Second-Class about nnntrnt J Z Broiind bo taken advantage of to the Subscription Price. Your good will, and membership In tho Booster Club THE (MTV UL QUESTION ,,M.I l.y ....)ll...l .U Sabmiay anil Sunday Specials Tor (Villi l Au'iiiic HooskTS, Ciioi Hay Roosters mill others: All KlniN of Ire Oenni, Including Hm Kiimiiiim BUTTERMILK ICE CREAM A new nnd wholcx.mm product reroinmoiiilod by physlriniw im Ik Inc pKiil fur Indigestion. Wo will nlso luivo Shoibi't, Chorolat.? ml Vfliilllii l'i' ('M'nni; Mnple Moumc, nml something HuVii Spec Lil for IIhm) who DEW DROP INN at SARTER'S Ccnl nil Avenue nml Front SI reel. Do.vr i-'omwr Ol'lt LIGHT LUNCIIKS. What You Should Know About Vinegar .. There arc three things that every housewife ought to know about vinegar she uses: ' FIRST That It Is absolut3ly pure; SECOND That it has 'the delicate flavor, and, THIRD That it suits the purpose for which she uses it HEINZ PURE MALT VINEGAR Brewed from choice barley malt, clarified and aged after the manner of the best wines; it has a natural golden brown color and delicious, aromatic flavor not found in any other vinegar. ' HEINZ PURE CIDER VINEGAR Made from the pure juice of sound, fresh apples, and aged to a degree which develops the full natural flavor of the apple. HEINZ CRYSTAL WHITE VINEGAR It is an ex cellent table and salad vinegar; it's perfectly colorless, pure and wholesome. ' For Sale at ' COOK'S GROGERY Advertise in The Booster Have you Rot anything to soil ' "p? Do you want to buy njthlng? THEN TRY A AD WITH US BIMt and only Nowspapor on Ccutral Avonuo. Advertising rates furnished great Cieer simulation i open to nobody. x Yo"'H Have to Take Our word for It. Aw,Gwan! WhatareWfUl topers harbors They surely fear a drouth, ror gjj can always find a Ctuthby lhe '" And you can always find a Good Cigar ac&'ine o smoking and Mewing tobacco at Je Smokehouse Avln " Maaazmes .-js popular meetlD' ' Place. EASEEALL We carry a full line of the well known Gold smith Guaranteed base ball supplies. ' MARSHFIELD NEWS CO. OS CKNTKAI.. AVI3. (Koinu'iiy l"rlei'ii'h) Wo ilellvor any iimJW'in" or pei'iiMllcal on tlalw f Isstin : : i s '' ' Tliero was a man In our town, And bo was wondrous wise. Ik Bowed his garden full of senda ' To grow the riowera ho'd prize. Hut wlion they saw tho soods woro In, With all their might and main, Tho neighbors' rhlckeiiB wont across And scratched them up again. 2 A man moved dn a rented bouse, And many hours bo spent In sowing grass and planting flowers. Tho landlord raised thu rent. There was n man who bought a place, Ami worked with boo and spado (To grow a nice, green, velvet lawn, Tho city changed tho grade. UHOAPITUIiATIOM fTho tax assessor raw theso homes, ' (A most discerning gout,) And gaily marked tho taxes up About nineteen per cent. TJIK SHNIOIt lllttll SCHOOIi DANCK . , Took IU Cliaiicei Itoynl Mies, the High School Coach, attended tho dnnco last Fntday ovonlng. Itoynl said ho nearly caught bis death of cold by not having taken along Ills sweater to put on between dances. llow 1)1(1 They (Jet In? Well known Central Avonuo men who at tended tho dnnco, and who didn't belong to tho claea (so wo don't sco what business they had to bo there) tlncluded AI Myers, Jim Hrand, Wilson blinnlil nliatnif't I Iln Inrtrnr fnnil Hum Kanfiniiti. ttm lulu Tnv Mnvln flnr-ilit " ""- -- - ..r o" - -- -. ." .. .j ., .v..-. obtained. Hut In ordinary Instances Hun! Fred Painter, Gordon Itn- ndvantugo of resident owueis as that the automobiles should bo ablo to go up a grade on high gear. Of course, whoro beauties of vaster con soquonco can bo actually created, such iih tho Qrand Canon effect nchlcvcd 'on Eighth Terrace, or tho Hoyal Oorgo on North Eighth, nothn; inusson nnd a fow others who woro trying to net young ngai!n. Art Hlanchnrd was there, but played In tho orchestra, and had no chance. A. K. more consideration might bo shown for Individual rights nnd losses. Let everybody stop and thCnlc, al ways, Mint It Is as much our duty to conserve beauty already existing nut-1 Arthur Haines sldcstoppod rurally, or created artificially, as It Peck was much missed. Is to produro It whoro It la lacking, Lt-Ijinl During tho Evening. nnd n long step will liavo been taken Sweet young senior (attending her toward tho roallzatlou of our droaumj first real dnnco): "Who tiro thoso of u city beautiful. jitwo men in tho orchestra who nro These boys who go without tholr hats Show most surprising business i sense. It both revives tho pompadours ( And saves tho overhead expense. P. E. CONWAY Wo know Lew Thomas Is not dudoj Llttlo for frills bo cares, Yet, In his Victor Record room, Ho sometimes puts on airs. (Paid Ad. I 3 b. .,i -SMILE-A-WHILE- HMILE-A-WHILK 'II K SMOKEHOUSE .MI?.'STHELS N' interlocutor, Jim Kellond, End man Claude Tuckor "What aro you looking so sober about, Mr. TuckerV" "What you talkln' about, nln't I alwayB sober? I was Just thinking." "Why, 'Is It possible, you astonish lino; whnt brought It on?" 'Nothing that happened round hare; I was thinking about tho HI bio." "Whnt can you know nbout tho Hl blo, anyway?! "Woll, I might say anything, nnd not bo In any daugor of being con tradicted by any of you follows. "1 was thinking how somo of the good old texts don't seem to work out." "Oh, como now, you can't go bnck on tho IHblo; can anything be truer, for Instnnco, than that 'the way of tho transgressor Is hard?'" "Why, I don't know, you booiii nl- wuys to bo having a mighty easy tlmo tot It." "Oh, you'ro Just quibbling. Tuko, for Instance- tills good old saying: j"As a man thlnkoth, so Is lie;' can you dispute tho truth of that?" "Why groat guiiB, mnn, If that was truo Jess Torroll would bo tho standing up?" Hor partnor: "Ono of thorn !s Mr. Martin, tho lender, and tho otbor is Sol Driscoll, tho double unss playor; why do you ask?" Sweet Senior: "Why, bocnuso thoy aro the only GENTLEMEN In thu wholo bunch." SMI LE-A-WH I IjE CENTRAL AVENl'E NOTES lOpliIemlc Abating. Not bo many canea of tho grlppo aro roportod of lato. SMILK-A-WHILE greatost nonts." pool player on two contl- SMILE-A-WHILU THE OLD, OLD HTOHV l "Num- -bor, pleecseeceo." ON'H of tho forogolng stuff, (tho stanzas woro shoved under tho office door nt various tlmos,) In tho least freezes our enthusiasm over tho matter of greon li.g up Mnrshflold nnd North Hend so thoy will look a little less like Hutte, Montana. On tho contrary, It only shows uuotbor aldo, which leads Mip to tho realization t lint our pro- plo must bo educated to respect ef forts on tho part of others to beau- 'tlfy tholr (Homes, nnd not go) on thinking Hint theso Improvements nro llko tho nntural trees nnd shrubs of this secton, thoro only to bo mucked down as fast as you como to them. Wo got tho following nccount from un nctunl sufferer, a mnn who rnmo Jhoro with notions or having his plnco hook llko tho ono ho used to llvo I'l.i "back eaBt." I Ho bought a placo and t'.xcd It ! up, flowers, trees, lawn etc., nnd 'thought It looked "permanent llko." Hri pntlontly repaired tho ravages or a dozen or moro cows and horsos, who lacked manners. Ho didn't llko to complnln, because ho know tho owners of tho stock, and knew thntL If ho squealed, Jack Carter would go around with a law book nnd say "naughty, naughty," and would hurt their footings. Pretty soon a man started to build n houso on the next lot. The lawn bolng n nlco lovol placo to drlvo a ton in on, bricks and lumber wero (promptly dumped on tho grass. When ho remonstrntod, tho teamsters told ;nvlm It would bo all right, thoy would clean up uftor a while. About lthls tlmo tho ownor or tho lot on tho J other sldo or tho lawn wanted to jiralso his Iioii3o. Tho workmen vantcd 'to "shore up" tho chlmnoy, and. nor I dumping n nlco lot or Hmo on tho I grass, they brought big Umbers, nnd dug a holo In tho lawn that looked I llko tho Identification mark! or a j Gorman oxploslvo shell. Thoy told tho remonstrating- ownor that thoy would put tho dirt ull back agn,!n In a month or so, It would cost too much to do It nny other way. Thoy brought tho tlinbora for blocking up tho houso, nnd laid thorn on tho How or bods. Thoy told tho lady or tho houso that ir thoy didn't do thrt sho would hnvo to lot them put tho tlm- U.r 18t lmv0 f00(i f0f thought," said "2332.M , "Thrceeeoo toooooooooo threocoeoo twoooooooo." "I will ring thorn ncaln." " will ring thorn again." ' "I will ring thorn ncaln." "I will ring thorn again." v 1 "Ho pent your mini bor, and I will ring thorn nga.n." ' "2332," "Threeeeeoo twooooooo thrcocceo t.wooooooo." "Tho lino Is biz zeeeoeoecco." SMILH.A.WIHLE Quick Changes. On Central Avo- ,uuo as soon as It quits raining the dust begins to blow around and as soon us tho dust begins to bt&Av around It begins mining ngnln. iKMined by Evporlcnce. "Vlrtuo may bo Its own reward," said Will Chandler, stropping his Jnck-knlfo on tho top or his shoo, "but every duty pnsscd up Is Its own punlshniont." , A Menu Trick. .Icsso Terrell wns mnd ns a March hare this wcok. "Dad" Welch borrowed a dollar off ill I in nnd went across tho street and spent It with Frnulc Cohan ror a 'safety razor. A Dig Feed. Tom James, tho world's greatest chef nnd toustmastor had us na a guest at a rood ho gave at tho Masonic Tomplo Wednesday night. Tom gnvo ll In honor or tho Elks but tho gnosis all contributed, especially Don Gardiner. l'ti i-l hor Correct Ioiik. Hank I)!ers, official statistician ror tho Port or Coos Hay, was a Central Avonuo vis itor this wook. ilauk stiitos that ho has been entirely cured or astigmat ism. Wo nro wondorlng ir this cor recti'on In his oyoslght will necessitate tho revision or bis statistics. KMILE-A-WIIILK IIAItUY HULT.MANN nindo Mvo do! lara by singing n song on WcduoB day night. Wo know somo rollows who would bo paid tho samo amount to keep still ir they oven tried to lng a song, wlich only goes to show what a runny world wo llvo In. SMILE-A-WIIILK Oood Effect Not Iconblo. Fired by Tho Uoostor and editorial sermons on "greening up," John Merchant got busy last Saturday nnd mowod hla Inwn. Wo hope to boo moro nlco weather so thut- other patriots will hnvo a chauco to got busy. SM I LE-A-WH 1 1 M SHIOUIFF JOHNSON wns ovor from Cnqulllo last evening nnd wns a caller on Central Avonuo. Circum stantial ovldonco Indicates that Alf Is going to run again, but ho has boon shaking bunds over slnco ho was oloctod. .SMILE-A.WIIILE A Spring Incident. Frank Cohan got n hair cut tho otlior day and wo hardly know him. Frank mado a reg ular Job of It, unlike Iko Chandler, who gotB his hair cut a hair hour at u tlmo, Tho barber never says to Iko "How short?" but "How long?" nnd Iko looks nt hla watch and says. i '"Mil iimn ttr.f tvn tiiinifia ' HMILE-A-WIIILE FOOD FOR THOUGHT DON'T BE A TITEWAD Tay up your back subscription to tho Rooster and thus fill a long felt want on our part, NEWSPAPER ON HOT AIR AND COLD POTATOES P. S. ir wo nro not In, loavo tho monoy with our wtfo. next door. bora In tho houso. Thoy also boat a hard path through tho grass to :.!.,. i,..iiin.( in i.nt wilier ror tlio !" iij... - r.- - i liorsoa. At noon thoy borrowed tliof tea kottlo, and n cup or sugur, nnd , liolped thomselvos to somo or tho i stovo wood to beat tho coHeo. All this tho owner ground his tooth , and endured, becnuso ho didn't want j to scorn "small," and get In bad with , Mn iinlehbora by bolng nnaccom- I modatlng. ' I, When thoy got through with tho , work on both sides or him, hla placo looked llko nn excnvatlon ror a rort, ,aHor nn attacking enemy hnd Inter fered vmUIi tho project. j There's moro to It, but that is j enough. It Is an oxtremo caso, otj 'courso, but It shows a tendency which ''is undoubtedly hero In a measure, to j disregard tho rights or others In pro- torvlng tno uenuiy cu i"" " surroundings. It Is not malicious, j AH thoso men who trespassed on our ( ,'rJcnd wero good rollows. Thoy Just ' didn't think." I Another thing that is orton coni- . .... ,.i r la llin fnrl that 110 FOOIlcr IIIUI.IUU HI .a - jl does a man got his piuco ... .-n.u than tho street grado Is chanbod.J leaving hhn up Jn tho air, or dowu In a bole? This is prion necessary. We cannot I ho, "And I have u great hunch; I'll go to tho Cnrnogla freo library And got a nlco rreo lunch." JOHN FERGUSON. "The Owl" was tho First Storo In Coos County to put in a com plete stock or Squibbs' Chemicals and Pharmaceuticals. And, by so doing, estab lished a higher standard or Prescription Filling This has boon recognized by phy sicians and tho public -also E. It. Squibbs hns designat ed "Tho Owl" as "Tho Sqillbb'u Held. Storo" of Mursh- Wo deliver Immediately Phono 74. THE CENTRAL AyE NUE DRUG STORE. Frank 1). Cohan Thwo Arfi Roiihons. ."Funny," re marked Harry McKcowu, "that a man ;iovor goes nnywhoro for oltlier busi ness or pleasure alone, but always for bnslnoss AND ploasuro." "Sure," commented Dad Welch, (showing t potior knowledge of tho world,) "tho pleasure part or It Is wluit ho tolls his rrlouda about when ho gets lnu'k- nml tho liiii'nosH Is what bo j tells to his wlfo." I KM I LE-A-WH I LE .- Roth Good Mon. Wo noto with ploasuro that Jack Kondall and Ar thur Peck nro thinking or running ror tho Stato Logt'slaturo. Thoy aro both good nion, nnd wo hopo wo shall not hnvo ,to decdo between them. Aa l far us wo hnvo thought about It, however, It appoars to us that tho cares of stato would rest easily on 1 Jack's mind, whllo wo are afraid ,-Art would Indulge In a good deal of worry. J SMILF-A-WHILE Alwuyn Something. Jack Cartor says somo pcoplo think there Isn't anything for n chief of police to do Ulnco thoy shut off tho drunks, and It worried him somo ror a whllo, but die is much encouraged ovor tho way 4ho bootleggers are getting Into ac tion, nnd is kooplug tho Hotel Carter in good sbapo ror any omergency. Now Invention. Tho niitomoblKi 'mon aro taking note or tho peculiar ities or tho Coast climato as It boars on tholr business. Will Goodrum Is working out a perlscopo ror uutoa, kSvhjch ho hopes to have ready beroro Who present rainstorm ' is thraugli Hooding tho streets. n K.MILE-A-WIULE . Fresh Vegetables and Fruits Nothing adds so much to a meal as delicious side dishes, and the housewife knows that good, fresh vegetables are essential. We have endeavored to meet these re quirements with the best the market affords, which in cludes: ' vM HEAD LETTUCE, HOTHOUSE LETTUCE, FRESH ASPARAGUS, ARTICHOKES, BERMUDA ONIONS. RHUBARB, CABBAGE, CAULIFLOWER, BRUSSEL SPROUTS, PARSNIPS, CARROTS, ORANGES (all sizes), GRAPE FRUIT. We have the famous Beechnut Bacon, unsliced, and also Swift and Armour Bacon. It will pay you to do all your grocery trading at Sanitary Food Store SERVICE FIRST PRONE im:i (Formerly Nasburg'H Grocery.) SECOND AND OENTHAIj Given Away FREE Honiitlful Myrtle Wood Chest In our window will bo absolutely given nwny FREE to ono of our customci-N. With every (10 centH worth of picture-post cards, wo will glvo u number entitling tho holder to oue chauco on this beautiful elicwt. Only int) numbers Issued, You may bo tho .lucky one. Sco the Chest in, our window. Rehfelds 220 Central Avenue Marshfield You Want Good Insurance Thfat's the kind I write. Prompt adjustments of' nil lossns. . 'T Fire, Life, Accident and Casualty. E. I. Chandler t j Coko Rulldlug Mnrshflold Pros peritj is not a clhiairirned "ward. It simply means the result of financial success. Prosperity will come to you as you embrace your opportunities. ' The opportunity to make a good Investment will surely come. ' Will you be ready for it? Save your money and keep it in the bank ready for that moment. The First Matioeal nt of coos BAY Safety Plus Semriice MAKE GARDEN WHILE THE SUN SHINES Wo hnvo tho rakes, tho hoes, tho spades and everything you will need to prepare tho ground and care for your vegetables and flowers. Theso llttlo utonBlla mnko garden and lawn work a Joy. Wo will dollvor thoin promptly. Marshtield Hardware Co. The best In tho Hardware- lino. Rroadway and Central Avonuo, l'liouo 31 BE1 m E PREPARED to show PROSPERITY A JOYOUS RECEPTION uitl CONTINUOUS WELCOME, You enn't entertain prosper. Ity, anybody, or on Joy llfo properly yourseir unless you huve music in tlio homo. i SEE US AT ONCE. Thomas Music Company Consolidation or Wiley R. Allen nnd W. R. Haines .Music Stocks 0!l Ceutrul Avenue. PLAN TO TAKE Sminday Dinner AT THE Chandler Hotel The Hub of Central Avenm A GOOD MENU vl 41 I i. - v i ?vl .-, ir