t ytyi" wW" " " ('tt f THE COOS BAY TIMES, MARSHFIELD, OREGON, THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 3, 1916 EVENING EDITION. THREE " Of riT i i U Inter-Ocean Transportation Co. S. S. Nairn Smith I'nhScntforH nnd I''olght ,lltrtlNMMCAXi'isco Wednesday, feii. fl-AT SER- SAILS 10 ,,"',5 ok TinK-qoiii HmHli 'JVimlnnl Dock. S. S. Adeline Smith Passenger Only , ,., RlV FRANCISCO MAY EVERY FIVI) DAYS F SAH-S 10" B.M1TII MILL DOCK C. F. McGeorge, Passenger rreigni caal Phono ii: ROM and Smith Terminal Dock BmmumiHmn0mfvimam7mjt THE ANIMATOR Founded and Confounded Tel). 2, 1010. Enter safe. Our readers tiro free to put tilled with loved ones, a few good whatever their thirst dlctntos hu books nnd soino truo lrienas. the blank spaces resorved for this pernicious publicity. Tho money's on tho bar, boys, just think up The Associated Press seems to havo had much moro luck with its national grlppo propaganda v n Strictly Flrst-Class Mat-,"hat you want and keep thinking.! hnn dd tho UnUed prc8g ,n act SW0,,f M:c,"ft(,0 ling as publicity agent for potromor Ouivrded Sonet Honesty, not bluffing, pays. Advertising used to be 80 per cent bluff. Today it is 80 per cent hon estand is getting nearer 100 per cent honest ever day. 1). C. Forbes In Mow York American High Quality Groceries Our own prompt and particular delivery service Ef ficient clerks-being out of the high rent district and keeping our prices as low as consistent with good busi ness makes Conner & Hoagland The Leading Grocers Dealers in Good Groceries 797 South Broadway. Phones 348-J and 326 (Contlnucdfrom Pago 2) Tonus or subscription Com nuttilcato with tho secretary and offer him 10 cents apiece for ex tra copies. If ho doos not take you up, offer him moro. ' Advertising rates Advertising rates will bo mado known to adver tisers after tho Isstio of tlio paper. Then -wo know how much money wo owo and can adjust our charges to suit. Advertisers In this Isstio will bo advised, with asllttlo do lay as posslblo how much It will cost thorn. Hates aro based abso lutely on our needs and what wo think you can pay. Advertisers refusing to pay for their ads will bo taken coro of by our Mafia and Hlaek Hand department. A word to tho wlso should bo sufficient. There aro many horrible examples among you. This paper wishes to nsstiro its ( tls. Of course, you must havo an rcadors that If tho Ford Peace i automobile to bo cllglblo for tho Party bad gono to Europo In our day wo would not havo falion down on. tho story as did the Times hnd tho Record. Wb would havo Isont Rubs Tower along to cable It to us by rounds from tho ringside EXPERT WELDING of METALS Steel, brass, cast, iron and aluminum castings made like new DEMONSTRATIONS DAILY. . Koontz Garage Phone 180-J. North Front Street PARCEL POST YOUR LAUNDRY We Pay Return Charges. Prompt and Efficient Service COOS BAY STEAM LAUNDRY This paper absolutely refuses to accept advertise- incuts of alcoholic hover ages of nny kind, Including hard elder. Wo aro backed up In t'Ms mutter by tho H'nto of Oregon nnd assure you that If Iho Slato will 4 back up wo will bo glad to, get tho buslncM. latter while any body can get tho grlppo. If you think you want to bor row soino money call on Ralph WtllinniB and be convinced that you don't. A follow showed us a letter from Art Peck with dictation marks on It and when Art docs this its n sign ho thinks ho's misspelled a word. do udl "fill In 'blank until .follow1' lng a regular natural demise Prodi If you see anything funny on tho Wilson has bid our editorial re- right hand sldo of tho Record cdl- . This import qlnlins, to give more real Interesting news than any othor medium In the world, seam stresses and some members of tho Club excepted. Please POINTED PERSONALS mains godspeed to the crematory. Tho succoss of this paper was assured when wo heard tho. llno typcr stop and read some of tho very oxcollont things to his fel low-worker, 1 j I We don't want to say nothtn neliove us, when you i about a rival but tho Cent. Ato. make tho "back room" lauKii at (sounds Spanish, don't It?) Booster your stuff when you'ro not lookln' goes an nwful '.'clip" every Friday. you'ro good. Wo did, tako it from iih. Outsldn of that wo don't think i A much of ourselves. OFFICIAL Tho letter writing wook recently hold In Oregon was such a suc ccs8 that tho Publicity Commlttco of tho Chambor of Commerce will , havo ono in Coos County boforo i long. Portland asked all tho stato to write tholr friends to como to Portland. Wo shall ask Portland to write Its frlonds to HUGO QUIST has Earl Powoll look ing for a fellow who tried to beat him out of n board bill. HARRY NASDURG and Ray 0111 vant say that a puro food label won't keep you from gotting tho can. CONTRACTOR PERHAM says It la hard to bid for n Job with war prices fluctuatln' llko an Adam's apple. MAIR DANO reports a man wno brought In a half dollar minted In 1849, but ho won't toll who tho tltowad Is. CARL ALBRECIIT is arranging to havo tho logging truck drlvo over South Droadway next week to test tho now paving. ALHERT MATSON thinks a man who don't belong to tho Chamber of Commorco wouldn't ovon look pleasant in a photograph shop. CARL EVERTSEN wishes us to an nounce that ho docs not belong to tho Gorman club. He says ho would not oven do It If thoy wore a hy phen. DOC. TOYE Bays that tho lnfrcqucn cy of tho weather this season would havo made It hard to get a crowd to tho band concerts anyhow. woman usod Harry Wlnklor'B i LIFTMAN LANDO of tho Coko torlal pago soon It will bo ours bo causo thoy havo asked permission to j go through tho wasto basket In tho Animator sanctum, drod dollars In farm of family containing attractive young lady If farm la located on Jitney line.Ad drcss Dob Dlllard. HELP wanted female WANTED Mnld with face to stop clock to wait on family of two. Phono G4-J. WANTED Men to luuidlo lumber, best of board guaranteed. Arno Moreen. WANTED Young Indies with granulated eyelids In sugar de partment. Warnor Grocery Co. M ANTED Young ladies to study phonetics and becomo tolephono operators. Apply Gdoso and Furry Telophono Company. phono for twenty minutes tho othor day nnd bought a dlmo's worth of btnmps to show bar appreciation. SITUATION WANTED Butler with 34 years oxporlenco, Including ear ly training with English family. Harry Dutlor, Coko Bldg. SITUATION WANTEIK Will dovoto part Mmo to struggling churches without parsons. Wrlto F. M. Parr sons, Dusy Comer Drug Store, SITUATION WANTKD Measuring potatoes or other fruit in bulk. Farm preferred, phono C. R. Peck. TICIAL PAPER OK COOS o c -,.. tll0y ,,0.t COUNTY. OFFICIAL PAPER wftt to gct nny ,n.wroiluor.. Wltn OF MARSHFIELD l ,t, ,m ,,.. nnin nrrnua Willi us they will suro como across with tho correspondence Tho abovo titles glvo us the priv ilege of lambasting tho County. Court nnd Mayor Copplo but Just to show our Independence wo will not say a word nbout them. Why! should wo? Thoy never bought us n drink. Now they never can.) What will wo do, what will thoy, fin? A vnnr'a allliarrllillnll will lin given to tho first Individual who Kenernlly get their wish. Ono can will show tho officials mentioned above a way to get right with us. ON FRIENDSHIP Friends, good friends, those who aro earnestly and honostly Inter ested In our happiness, welfare and success aro moro to bo desired than riches by somo pcoplo nnd thoy Tho Business Manager contract ed somo spaco to tidvortlsers sell ing goods designed to stagger hu- liinnltv tml TUnlrlol AMnrnnv T.ll.l not hopo to havo his personality moot tho upprovnl of ovory ono. As Aftor Rubs O'Brien so truly says: "No man's heartstrings aro attuned to tho heart throbs of nil thoso with whom ho comes in con tact "BALLAD OF THE BOOSTERS" BOOST A BIT! Here, you discontented knocker! Growlln' 'bout tho country's Ills, Chloroform yor dismal talkor, Tako a euro o liver pills. Stop your durn kl-o-teo howlln' Chaw sand nnd git somo, grit, Don't sit In tho dumps a-growlln,! Jump tho roost An' boost A bit! Fall In whllo tho band's a playiu', Ketch tho stop nnd march along; 'Stead o' pessimistic brayln', .lino tho halloluyor song! Drop yor hammer do somo rootln' Grab a horn, you cubs, an' split Every echo with your tootlu'! Jump tho. roost An' boost A bit! zsp Jcqvlst nnnouueos that If wo print as a young pup. Wo can almost thorn ho will flno us. Whllo wo, hear our talcs w,ng. Wo havo nt bollovo ho'd havo to find us boforo' tempted In a friendly way to mako ho fined us, still wo will play 'you snlllo nnd nblo to onduro tho romarks of tho various speakers who will try to ontortaln you JuBt rcmombor that at any time' you bo como bored you may qulotly read this papor. Do not uso It to mnko I wads to throw at tho toast master. But, to got back and closo with tho beautifully rounded nlco words J of tho follow whoso .stuff wo start ed to steal: "For, nftor all, what moro should bo desired In this world than a modest Incomo, a cheerful homo, VAX MAY ACT Charles Van Duyn, who haa worked 14 hours looking pleasant This pngo is Just ns friendly, at peovlBh drummers ovory day for -iB Keeping The Dollar Home Every Dollar sent out of town for a pur chase enriches some one else Every Dollar spent here helps to enrich this city All things being equal, our merchants are entitled to your first consideration This prosperity is your prosperity As they grow they become greater fac tors in our city life In many instances you can buy at home to better advantage than elsewhere Look over the Advertising in today's Coos Bay Times and see if that state ment is not true Compare goods and prices and ascertain whether or not our local business men are "on the job. six years except yesterday and to day, hao tho following to say of his futuro plans: "I may do ono thing and I may do anothor. Noxl to tho ho tel business I know mot about tho show business. I was never In It hiit when I was In Oklihomo I iiBcd to travol with ovory troupo that left our hotol long enough to attnch sufficient box pfflco money to pay tholr bill. That was val uable oxporlenco nnd has mado mo n movlo fan. What over olso a moving plcturo show can do It rau't bring In a troupo to beat n board bill." I mN Eel ln I iwfr jW w -Mll in lll""" '" building says that when City Attorney Jim Brnnd gets mar ried Hugh Barclay will bo tho only ono left ho won't havo to keep tab on. HORSEY KRE1TZER says that' for every schemo to "mako pcoplo savo that wouldn't otherwise suvo" thoro aro threo or four , ways of prying tho mazuma off a tightwad. PROF. JERRY HUNT, gives his birth-place as tho "high seas" when ho registers. He Is right sorry ho Isn't a soprano so tho "High C's" would bo of somo uso to him. JAKE HILLSTROM promises to really mako a roputatlon for his now storo In strawberry season. Ho will havo boxes so big thnt thoy will hold tho largest straw borry without bruising It. SHERIFF JOHNSON wishes ho could bo as arbltary as his brother of ficer In Curry county who mado a prisoner sloop out on tho Jail ' steps 'bocaiiBo ho didn't como back from n flshln' trip In tinio to bo locked up nt olght o'clock. JOHN KENDALL'S sunny disposi tion, was clouded for a day last week when . his shirt had not had Its Ingrowing neck hand Ironed out. John says nothing makes a lswycr maddor than to try and ehut off his wind. Sl'PT. W. F. MILLER says tho folks who have boon kicking about his trains going slow thoso twenty years will bo sorry whon thoy didn't tako tholr opportu nity to look at tho scenery moro when tho trains run to Coqulllo In 24 mluutos. DOC DIX always sharpens his knives beforo ho goes Into tho oporatng room but ho gets peovod whon ho wants hurry up sliavo and Jess Torroll has to stop and sharpon his razor. Joss will glvo Doo an nnaosthot Ic It ho kicks any moro. RALPH LARAWAY dollghtfully entertained Ralph Laraway at tho recent nppearanco of Thoda Bora at tho Noblo. Tho party was such a success that Mr. Laraway will entertain his guest on tho next appcaranco of Miss Bara. SITUATION WANTED -Will gum-an-too to turn any machinery or mot- ala of all kinds into Junk. W. J. Rust. INSTRUCTION WHY BE SELF CONSCIOUS? I'm not. Others can loam my meth ods In 3 minutes. Recently ro ylncd nnd mado adaptablo to dry territory. Dr. Straw. SEE ME AND got hep to tho stuff that will cnablo you to make a. nolso llko Caruso or Paderowsky. VIctrola or pianola. L. L. Thomas. REAL ESTATE PREFERRED PERIIAM PARK Booklet on request. Just Reid about it. , FOR SALE Stuckup Iiomso with ancient Inconviononccs. Wilson Kaufman, Agt. You ought to boo mo whon my faco gets back in shapo. BUSINESS CHANCES INTEREST IN DOLL factory will be sold to right party applying early. Sco Qcorgo or Alva Doll. T- WE HAVE VALUABLE wtr supply for uso as chasers. Would llko iu correspond with nny parties know ing of anything to chaso this year. Hank and Clem Wells. FOR SALE FOR SALE Two hcU of uncalled for tailor mado tooth. Can alter any mouth to fit them. Dr. H. E. Kolty. FOR SALE Brand now 1010 Ford car, Just overhauled. Smith & Wade. LOST LOST Black bag containing dress suit, flask and largo roll of bills (from creditors.) Finder keep bfg, suit and bills. Jack Mereen, Phono 118. JOSHIFIED ADS HELP! HELP! Mon and women wanted for U. S. Government Jobs; (300 to $500 nor month to commonco. Long vacations. Llttlo work Wrlto Immediately for list of positions op 'en. Coos county should have at least ! 1200 of theso Jobs. Mark letters personal. Congressman W. O. Hnwley, Washington, D. C. FOR SALE Circus paraphernalia. Account of closing tho circus of which I havo actod as ring master for somo years on Docomber 31. 1015, I will soil all fixtures cheap. Many of tho animals which I train ed dully have tholr tonguos hang ing out by this time but thoy could bo brought under control by n tour to California, Pink spiders and othor interesting membors of my late monagerlo. Can only bo im ported in limited quantities. See me at onco. II. McKeown. GROW PAWPAWS Here's a Good Salesman People passing cannot help but see your show win dowsmake them so attractive that they will stop. No clerk, however efficient, can work as does a well-illuminated window. It sees everybody on the streetsit makes sales at a lower cost and never tires of working. Electric Light will help you display your goods so as to do this. The latest Mazda C type of lamp is even more efficient than anything heretofore offered. It will allow yon to illum inate your windows brighter than ever before at no greater cost. We will be very glad to advise you regard ing any kind of illumination. This service is offered without obligation. Oregon Power Co. WANTED Dressmaker to keep my wife standing all day and stick pins Into hor. Inquire of tho editor. ermlcclll, Spaghetti, Clilantl Macaroni TOO LATE TO JOSIIIFY WANTED Man to trMvel for stn tlonary house. Warner Ogren. WANTED Typewriter, latest model, Coos county Lax Association, Coko Building. HELP WANTED MALE WANTED Every render Is wanted to assist in getting members for the Marahfleld Chamber of Com merce. All mon with 60c a month eligible. ! WANTED Shock headed youth, live wire to learn electrical wiring, See Langworthy. SITUATION WANTED Ah atten dant in nlco, quiet Insane asylum preferred. Salary loss object than desire to Improve surroundings. F. A. Tledgen, SITUATION WANTED SITUATION WANTED Young iiimii of good habits will Invest few hun- COME TO FIRST ADDITION AND REDUCE YOUR COST OF LIVING Every Man His Own Gardener Testimonials: Bob Graves writes; Starting with 35 cents worth of spoghottl spawn, I raised enough to feed and clothe my family and build an addition to the house, I am now so affluent that I havo rofused to take two divorce cases without feeling that I am tak ing food out of tho mouth of my pet dog. C. M, Connor wroto a fine testi monial but recalled it for fear it would hurt tho grocery business more than a public market. E. C. Drews; Please do not pub lish tho great success I have made raising marshmallows on the re claimed tide lands. Please attempt to buy back the Wlrolesa Site for mo as I can make more setting it to marshmallows than can Uncle Sam using It to raise currents. Jitney, Water, Telephone and Elec tric Service REYNOLDS UEVKLOPMKNT CO, :-: Alaska Yukon Myers, Manager :-: "Wo havo lots more lots whon tunM lots avo gone," ' ""wm :